Jason_VoorheesIMDb Reviews

Terminator Genisys (2015)

Almost as good as Terminator 2.

[10/10 · 10 July 2015]

I just saw this movie yesterday with my grandfather and we were both looking forward to this and even though the trailer gave away the HUGE spoiler with John Connor I still was looking forward to it and I was not disappointed. This is my 2nd favorite Terminator movie with my favorite being the 2nd one. And I personally like all the Terminator movies and the only thing I disliked about this is that Matt Smith was only in the movie for maybe a total of 5-10 MINUTES! What the hell? He was my favorite Doctor in Doctor Who and when I heard he was gonna be in this I was super hyped just for him. Aside from that the movie was great. The movie even throws humor into it at the right moments like there was this parts where Sarah and Kyle are getting ready to use her time machine and of course they had to remove their clothes and Arnie asks Sarah did you mate and the audience in the theater laughed their heads off. Anyway the movie has great acting, great action scenes, it's funny at the right moments like I said, and the T-1000 was another thing about this that was heavily promoted and while he was in a good chunk of the movie he was a little underused. If you're a Terminator fan give this movie a try. If you're not a Terminator fan skip this. And one more spoiler by the end of the movie Arnold is upgraded to a T-1000 himself. Since I don't really have much more to say I'll do what I did with my Terminator 2 review and list my 10 favorite moments. 10. The beginning of the movie (great way to start this off) 9. The scene where the current Arnold and the younger Arnold fight. 8. The scene at the hospital after Kyle and Sarah use the time machine. 7. The scene where Sarah, Kyle and John are in the bus on the golden gate bridge. 6. Sarah and Arnold save Kyle Reese from the T-1000. 5. The ending. (Great way to end the movie and set up the next one and a great piece of humor in the scene) 4. The helicopter chase. 3. John Connor finds Kyle and Sarah while they prepare to destroy Skynet. 2. The T-1000 finds Sarah, Kyle and Arnold in the sewers. 1. The final showdown in Cyberdyne. The action in this scene is fantastic and is where we FINALLY see Matt Smith back in the movie for only a few minutes but still better than nothing. And everything about this final showdown was awesome. And thankfully I hear Matt Smith will play a bigger part in the next two sequels. My final verdict: 9.6 out of 10.

Airborne (1993)

Could've been better.

[10/10 · 6 April 2014]

To be fair this isn't a bad movie if anything it's actually pretty good but I do think it's a little disappointing. Let me say a few flaws about the movie. 1. There are times where I feel like i'm watching a commerical. 2. Some of the characters are just jerks for no reason other than to be a jerk. 3. Nikki is completely shallow. 4. Seth Green is like a girl in this movie. His hair is girly, he was wearing a headband when Mitchell was telling about Friday, and the scene where he was trying on different clothes. Well watch that scene with that girls wanna have fun song. Now that I covered what I don't like with this movie allow to talk about why I like it. While Mitchell's personality is on par with a Disney prince he's still an enjoyable character for the most part. The skating stunts are very good. The writing can be funny at times. The race at the devil's backbone was a really good race. It was a really intense race and the crashes looked pretty realistic. Although I was wondering why the devil's backbone went everywhere. What, is the garage part of the Devil's Backbone? Is the stairway part of the Devil's Backbone? Even your GPS would give up at this point! Also when Mitchell jump over the car? Unless your wheels are encased with Flubber, you just jumped the shark. Oh, I'm sorry, "Peppy." But don't let my words get in the way of the movie. Also the soundtrack was good. Either way it's 91 minutes of your life you're not getting back. This is one of those films that should be placed in a time capsule. I'm not saying it totally sums up the '90s, but it sums up how the media saw the '90s, and it's just every '90s cliché that existed at the time. In that sense, it's sort of a wonder. I don't know, but if you're looking for good generic stupidity from the decade where the band Hanson were popular, this would probably be your best bet. Take it for what it's worth.

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

If you like it fine but this is the most unoriginal movie i've ever seen.

[1/10 · 31 March 2014]

So this brought back the movie musical? So movies like Chicago Hairspray & Sweeny Todd are all because of this awful movie? Well I have another question: Does Moulin Rouge still hold up after so many years? OF COURSE NOT! It didn't even hold up when it 1st came out. But everyone was amazed with how great and original it is. Yes there's nothing more original the playing songs we all know and love and reusing plot lines the even Twilight would laugh at. (auidence gasps) That right I said it. Twilight is better and more original than this. 1st let me say what I like about it. 1. The movie looks brilliant. 2. The Cinematography is good when you can see it. 3. As the movie goes on the editing does slow down allowing us to see how well the shots are set up. That's all the nice things now let's talk about the bad stuff. 1. The remixes they did aren't good and the only good song is Zidler's Rap. I don't know what it's called but that's the only good song. 2. The editing goes by so fast no shot lasts more than 5 seconds. As the movies goes on it does slow down as I already said. 3. It's loud, stupid and there's no dramatic backing for it in any way. 4. Satine wants something more? What else could she want? To be an actress? Oh yeah this isn't enough. Being hailed as a goddess, men wanting you, women wanting to be you, performing every night to hundreds of people greeting you with applause. Yeah, I can see how being an actress would be ENTIRELY different from this! 5. They use the word love over & over & over and they never explain what it is. We just know that it's really, really good and everyone wants it. They just say the word over and over more than they actually do analyze it. 6. The woman who gave the Duke the hint that Satine and Christian have been seeing each other. WHO THE HELL IS SHE?!?! She's not a main character or side character.7. With the Duke wanting to kill Christian why didn't Zidler get out of the business deal with him? 8. With Satine dying why didn't she tell Christian? Hell why didn't tell the Duke that would probably turn him off! IT MAKES NO SENSE! Hurt him to save him?! THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD! All she has to do is tell him the truth and figure out a plan together! How the hell is she saving his life if he's destroying him psychologically? What's worse: dying with the one you love or being emotionally assassinated by that same person. So Satine's breakup with Christian is about as convincing as Edward's breakup with Bella, but thankfully, Christian is about as smart as Bella, so he completely falls for it. 9. Truly in love? That's such bullshit! (mocking) Oh, all you need is love lovelovelovelove...Who treated anyone they truly loved this way? Why would you slutshame her in front of an entire audience of people? Who calls that love? That's not love, that's bitterness! Oh sure, her actions are abjectly stupid and she's the victim of bad, stupid writing. But him? He's just despicable! He's evil! For as many times as he sings about LOOOOVE, he treats her in the most insulting, dirty, mean-spirited way that you can treat a human being. And the dwarf's over here like "Oh, she wouldn't do that!" and yet him, the one that's in love with her can't figure this out? "Oh yeah, love! I forgot about that! That's right! I'M SORR...you know what, I'm not even sorry, but we're still in love. SO LET'S SING ABOUT IT! In front of everyone and everything's okay! Oh wait, you're dead. Awww." How would you feel if your loved one had some stupid misunderstanding that sprung from bad writing and then threw out all of their negative, horrible bile in one fell swoop...IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY! 10. So just as Christian gets done calling her every word for "whore" in the English language, the dwarf suddenly drops down and--what a shock--quotes more songs. So the whore he said he would never be manipulated by is now letting himself be manipulated by, it just so happens that she's telling the truth? Singing fixes everything. F*CK THIS MOVIE!

Alice in Wonderland (I) (2010)

"Grown Up Alice Returns To Underland"

[1/10 · 23 March 2014]

So let me get this straight. In Alice in Wonderland, the story based on the Lewis Carroll novel, Alice is not a girl, she's a woman, she's not in Wonderland, she's returning to Wonderland, and Wonderland itself, in fact, isn't Wonderland at all, it's called "Underland". UNDERLAND?!? UNDERLA--?! That sounds like a made up world in a Fruit of the Loom commercial! I'm sorry. How the flying f*ck am I supposed to take an adaptation seriously when you can't even get one word, ONE F*CKING WORD OF THE GODDAMN TITLE RIGHT?! I'm gonna say it. CARE BEARS IN WONDERLAND IS A BETTER ADAPTATION THAN THIS! (audience boos) Yeah, come on! I said it! I said it! Who wants some?! Come on! Come on! Apart from at least giving us what the f*cking title promises, Care Bears in Wonderland, and not Underland, is still mad nonsense where everything is backwards! The villain of the movie wants to bring sense and order to it; that would be a legitimate threat to their world, so the fear in the movie is 100% justified! Here, the queen is just a jerk, but as long as she's as crazy as the rest of them, which she supposedly is, Wonderland- Oh, I'm sorry- Underland shouldn't care! Because, unless you missed what was constantly hammered in, both the story, the book, every interpretation ever made, THEY'RE MAD! THEY'RE ALL F*CKING MAD! So what should they care about any of this crap? And don't get me wrong. Care Bears is an awful movie. It's really bad. They do some stupid s*it, like making the queen nice, a whole bunch of other...crap, but in terms of which one is closer to the spirit of what Alice in Wonderland is? I'm sorry, the Care Bears got closer! They embraced the insanity of Wonderland! This one is ashamed to even be called Wonderland! F*ck! That! S*it!

TMZ on TV (2007– )

Whoever's watching it, sleep with something... for your own good.

[1/10 · 15 March 2014]

TMZ you know, the...worst humanity has ever put on...in the...history of the human race...so terrible that I hate getting a clip to show you because I feel like getting the footage is giving them a fraction of support and that makes me feel like the devil. that f*cking bad. And yet people still watch them like they're saying something important, when all they're doing is praying somebody will blow their brains out to preserve whatever measly shreds of journalistic decency they have left. If you're actually dumb enough to watch past the first two seconds without realizing it's sucking whatever intelligence you have, then you deserve your purgatory of rubbing tabloids on your genitalia, thinking you're getting laid and claiming to others you know how the world works when really, you're just crying your virgin ass to sleep every night while eating your Dorrito and Cap'n Crunch sandwiches! No, seriously, you stab God every time you see this show! You rape a kitten every time you don't change the channel! As my title says: Whoever's watching it, sleep with something... for your own good.

Doug (1991–1994)

The scariest, ugliest, most horrifying creation that Nickelodeon studios has ever produced

[1/10 · 28 February 2014]

DOUG! Now perhaps some of you are wondering why I think so harshly of what appears to be a relatively harmless cartoon. Well let's just say you knew someone with a very similar name. Someone who grew up with that name all his life. And happened to be raised at the exact same time this show came out. Do you think any jokes or funny remarks in connection with this show could possibly affect his life in any negative way? Do you? DO YOU?! But with that said, this was a pretty lame show. I mean the show was pretty much just about a kid who went to high school. And that's it, it was pretty much just about a kid who went to high school. Doug, or Doug Funnie if you want to know his full name, has some very odd friends, like Mosquito Valentine. Bud Dink. His dog, pork chop. And Patti Mayonaisse. What is up with these names, what you didn't have room for Johnny Pictureframe, Larry Toiletpaper, or Susie Contraceptive? Urgh. He spends most of his time going after Patti Mayonaisse because, well, she looks pretty. And apparently that's all he needs. Also, what is up with everybody's skin color in this show? Did the town get infected with radioactive poisoning? On top of that, the music always sounds like it's literally farting out its soundtrack. Listen to some music that's suppose to sound scat. There's also this bully named Roger who constantly tries to make Doug's life a living hell. Why? Because all kids with leather jackets are just bullies now, didn't you know that, it's like an official law! He also travels around with his pet cat named Stinky who probably lives up to his namesake. I think the best way to describe this show is that it's kind of like an early episode of The Simpsons. They're not funny, not well animated, and surround in a world of awkward uncomfortableness. But whereas The Simpsons got funny, Doug just psychologically tortured anyone named Doug for life.

Sonic Heroes (2003 Video Game)

Sonic games are about speed.

[8/10 · 10 December 2013]

This is a really good game but the problem is this: Sonic games are about speed. Some Sonic fans say it's about platforming & exploring rather than speed. I don't like to insult people but to the Sonic fans who say the games aren't about speed. Are you complete f***ing morons? If they focus on platforming & exploring speed needs to be removed or else you get Sonic Heroes as a result. Sonic Heroes is designed for you to gain your speed very easily and to be able to keep it but the levels aren't designed for that. Sega & Sonic Team just don't know how to please Sonic fans anymore because some say they're about platforming & exploring while some other say they're about speed. How are Sonic Team & Sega suppose to know which style to choose? Even if they give the ones who say it's about platforming & exploring they'll complain that it's not a Sonic game cause it was too slow. Pick a side and stick with it you jackasses. If you think Sonic games are about platforming & exploring play Sonic Heroes. If platforms give you a boner you'll be hard as a brick wall very quickly.

Steel (1997)

I liked it

[10/10 · 31 October 2013]

Many people hate Steel and to honest I can understand why but I saw it when I was a kid and I liked it. Even today I still like it. Sure Shaq is a bad actor but this movie he was actually trying, unlike Kazaam!. In that movie he wasn't even trying because the script was so bad for Kazaam! it wasn't even worth trying. While Steel he actually tried his best, even if you hate this movie you have to admit the music is really good. While the movie was so bad it killed superhero movies for the 90's it's worth it just to here that theme song in the movie. While I like this movie I still wouldn't recommend you watch it. If you wanna check it out feel free to do so but you'll probably have the same reaction as everyone else. They all say it's awful. In my opinion I like Steel don't judge me it's my opinion, you don't have to like it but everyone else hates it. Thanks for reading.

Hook (1991)

Without Spielberg good movies would not exist

[10/10 · 10 October 2013]

To be fair, while I love Hook, I can understand why people hate it, because while I love it, Hook does have it's fair share of flaws but how can you have a bad movie when Steven Spielberg is the director? He is the greatest director of all time in my opinion. At times the movie does drag but it's a charming, heart-warming, family flick that entertained lots of people, while those who like Hook say, it's not one of Spielberg's best, I disagree, I consider it to be one of his best. The story was great, the acting was amazing, I mean seriously, Robin Williams? That guy is a great actor. Aladdin, Good Will Hunting, Runaway Vacation, honestly this guy is a brilliant actor. Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook? Perfect decision. The issues of father-son relationships, learning how to behave, those issues could not usually work in a movie, but this one did it very subtle. This movie mixes action, adventure, drama, and a little comedy to go along with it. If you haven't seen Hook, check it out, pick a side and see what either you've have been missing or glad you've been missing. Thanks for reading.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

He said he'd be back!

[10/10 · 8 October 2013]

What can I say about T2. It's the greatest Sci-fi Action movie ever made. The effects were awesome, the chases were awesome, Arnold was awesome, Linda Hamiliton was awesome, everything was awesome! It took everything that was awesome about the first Terminator movie and multiplied it a million times. Since I don't really have a lot to say about T2 i'm going to count down my top 10 favourite scenes from T2.

10. Fighting the T-1000 at the mall.

9. Saying goodbye.

8. Destroying the T-1000.

7. Hasta la Vista, baby!

6. Helping Sarah escape.

5. The Truck chase.

4. The Helicopter chase.

3. Your foster parents are dead.

2. Sarah trying to kill Dyson.

1. Blowing up Cyberdyne.

Now I really can't say much since this movie has been talked about to death. So all I can say is if you want awesome sci-fi action watch T2. Hasta la Vista, baby!

Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing (2010 Video Game)

A great clone of Mario Kart

[10/10 · 17 September 2013]

"WARNING! This review contains spoilers. You have been warned!" Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing is awesome. Most people prefer Mario over Sonic and while I love Mario he's not as good as Sonic. Anyway this game is basically a better verison of Mario Kart. Yes, I said that. While Mario Kart is good I play Mario Kart 64 instead of the Wii verison but it's not as good as this. This game is easier to control because you have a controller instead of that Wii steering wheel. This games race tracks are more colorful, more fascinating, with more characters, SEGA went the extra mile to make sure this game was good and that hard work payed off. Just when you thought Sonic was doomed SEGA bounced back and remembered what made Sonic great: the game play. Not the graphics but the game play. While graphics aren't everything this game offers good graphics, great game play, and great track designs. SEGA, thank you for this wonderful racing game.

Sonic the Hedgehog (1993–1994)

The Worst thing I have ever seen

[1/10 · 12 September 2013]

Where do I begin with this? Well for starters it has the most annoying characters in history with the worst being Antoine. OH MY GOD!!! That character is more worse than Navi from Ocarina of Time, Baby Mario from Yoshi's Island, The Dog from Duck Hunt, Willie from Temple of Doom, Jar Jar Binks, Bella Swan, Daffy from the new Looney Tunes Show, Justin Bieber yes I said that and the list goes on. Anyway, this show is so bad I don't understand why people like it. I ask people to explain why and they do they explain in great detail why they like this show and I still don't understand why they like it. Hell even with Pokémon or The new Looney Tunes Show people explain why they like it and I understand but this show is so bad even great detail can't help me understand why people like it. Princess Sally oh god don't even get me started. She is the most inappropriate cartoon character I have ever seen. WHY DOESN'T SHE WEAR CLOTHES?! Why is it the other Sonic the Hedgehog characters have to wear clothes but Princess Sally doesn't have to? Why is that? SHE'S A PRINCESS!! That gives her more reason to wear clothes. She only wears a pair of boots and a jacket so small if a real woman wore it you would still see the breasts. All the other Sonic females wear clothes. Blaze the Cat wears clothes, Amy Rose wears clothes, Rouge the Bat wears clothes, Cream the Rabbit wears clothes, her mother Vanilla the Rabbit wears clothes, Cosmo the Seedrian from Sonic X wears clothes. ALL THE SONIC FEMALES WEAR CLOTHES!!!!! So why doesn't Princess Sally?Even Drop Dead Fred was better than this and Drop Dead Fred is the worst movie I have ever watched. Even Kazaam was better than this. In fact even One Direction is better than this and they suck more than Justin Bieber. Look if you like this show please do not explain to me why because I will not understand. So just keep this show away from me the only Sonic cartoons I let come near me is Sonic Underground and Sonic X because they were awesome. Even Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was better than this. Christ it pains me to say this but even Sonic the Hedgehog 2006, Shaq Fu, Superman 64, The Last Airbender (film) and even LJN games are better than this. I'm glad this show was canceled.

The Looney Tunes Show (2011–2015)

Pukes diarrhea up your ass.

[1/10 · 30 August 2013]

When it first aired it looked nothing like Looney Tunes with a suburb setting, Bugs and Daffy are friends? I think the world is coming to an end. Seriously, like fire and brimstone coming down from the skies, rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from their graves! Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! And I was right! The world has come to an end. If you read my Pokémon review you heard how much I hate Pokémon. But it is god compared to The new Looney Tunes Show! I'd rather go into a seizure by watching Pokémon than watch this show. I'm dead serious. Not to mention the characters are just so annoying, the most annoying being Daffy. Someone give me a gun to blow my brains out. In episode 23: The Float, Daffy scams Porky out of $375,000 and doesn't see how he's the bad guy. WHAT?!?! Even my little 4 year old brother can see when he's done something wrong. However I will give the show a little credit for taking the Lola character and giving her a character. It's a character I hate but still at least she's not some weird sex symbol like in Space Jam. Not to mention a great voice actor like Rob Paulsen is in this show as one of those annoying gophers. But at least it's not like Sonic SatAM with Antoine. In fact Sonic SatAM is worse than this Looney Tunes cartoon. But anyway back to this topic. The characters are irritating to listen to and irritating to look at. When season 2 began the animation got a little better but that's not saying much. In the words of AVGN: It's like saying the crap I took last night was better than the crap I took this morning. I'd say this show could go from bad to good but there's a better chance of monkeys flying out of my ass.

Sonic Generations (I) (2011 Video Game)

Best Video Game EVER!!!!

[10/10 · 29 August 2013]

Sonic Generations is a breath of fresh air. Not only the best Sonic game in my opinion but also the best video game in history. With the game being hard that's a good thing. It's a challenge and challenge equals good depending on how the challenge is done. If the challenge is in the game that's good, if the challenge is in the controls that's bad. But thankfully Sonic Generations challenge is in the game. True it can be hard trying to figure out where to go but that makes it more challenging and better, giving you more room to explore. And the story is great with the appearance of multiple time holes, giving us a classic and epic time travel game. Even the boss battles are great. Metal Sonic, Shadow the Hedgehog, Silver the Hedgehog, Awesome. But the fact of there are only being three boss battles I do hate. Anyway, Sonic Generations gives great gameplay, great graphics, great story, and great challenge. In quote of what the back cover says: Old meets New and worlds collide. Also a Blast to the Past. But what the hey, give this game a try and see what you have been missing. Thanks for reading!

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

I didn't think it was that bad

[10/10 · 28 August 2013]

I can see why people hate Halloween 5 but to be honest I liked it. It's my 2nd favorite of the Halloween movies right next to the Rob Zombie remake. There are some things about it I don't like. For example: How come the police officers let Michael Myers keep his mask on when they took him to prison? Why did Michael goes berserk when Jamie touched his face? If that other Mike character took good care of his car where are the brake lights? And how can Jamie have a telepathic connection with Michael? It happened in the flashback of the 4th movie when Jamie held Michael's hand before he got back up. But still how does that work? At least it's explained. But overall I don't mind it that much. Not to mention it has one of the best kills of Michael Myers: When Michael used that garden claw. Awesome! The movie has a good story, good characters, and best of all, a good cast selection.

Pokémon (1997–2023)

It's an ungodly abomination that begs for apocalypse!

[1/10 · 22 August 2013]

Pokémon is terrible! The games were good but 4Kids took the games without any responsibility, they stood on the shoulders on Nintendo to accomplish something as fast as they could and before they even know what they had , they patented it, they packaged it, they slapped it on a plastic DVD cover, and now, they're selling it, they're selling sell it. Well a piece of crap TV show. I even watched Pokémon as a kid and even back then I still hated it. Pokémon makes me go berserk with anger. The show was terrible. The first episode: Pokémon I choose you was good because you have no idea what's going on. So it lures you in with its appealing animation and charming atmosphere, and then bends you over and *beep* you to Hell!! The second episode is where this show should have ended. But NO! They kept the show going getting worse and worse and worse and worse as time went on. Not to mention the banned episodes. The Legend of Dratini episode with the pistol. WHAT!!!!!! True we have seen guns in kid's cartoons but it was for creating slapstick comedy. For example: Looney Tunes. Elmer Fudd's shotgun made funny moments like the Duck Season Rabbit Season jokes. But in The Legend of Dratini episode it was a pistol to blow Ash's brains out. And not to mention the part where Meowth was Hitler. You know for kids! Heil Hitler! Even the episode Beauty and the beach. James with inflatable breasts. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look I don't care if you like this show or not but you need to know how much it irritated me as a kid. If you like it fine. If you hate it fine. Just keep this piece of crap as far away from me as possible.

Sonic X (2003–2006)

So bad it's good

[9/10 · 5 August 2013]

Sonic X is a show where it's so bad it's good. Because let's be honest as a kid it was awesome but when you get older you see the flaws and why people wouldn't like it. As a kid I loved Sonic X I would always watch it over and over and over again. But now looking back it's nothing special. It's still good but not as good as you remember it. Like Inspector Gadget you know it's nothing special but for kids it's great. Because while Sonic X is a good show it does have it's moments that annoy you. But then the bad moments go away and then the good moments come back. And even the opening theme song is enough to get kids hyped. Because my friends who watch this show have kids who always feel the need for speed after watching it. Conclusion Sonic X is a show you might wanna give a try. Not a bad show let it pass.