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Platoon (1986)
Gotta give it to Oliver Stone
I didn't know what to expect going into this. I knew the Vietnam war was the main theme and I knew Charlie Sheen was in it. I noticed he was young and inexperienced and more suited for comedy than drama. If I had to pick a weak link in the acting it would have to be him. As for the movie itself.. Showing the brutality and carelessness of the vengeful American soliders was not something I expected, and it's hard to blame Vietnam for defending themselves.. The bad guys in this movie was definitely the Americans and that's a rare portrayal as far as American made movies goes. A fine movie showing the reality of war but the acting may have needed some tuning.
A solid 8/10 from me.
Ted Lasso: All Apologies (2020)
I don't wanna drink with someone that selfish
Some interesting character development in this episode. This was the first time this show made me go wow! Beard is the last person you would expect to raise his voice, and even tho Ted's heart was in the right place.. Beard was absolutely right! Winning or losing does matter in professional sports, losing does in fact have repercussions. The humiliation of relegation is not something a Premier League team wants to go through. Although this is a laugh out loud comedy show, it gets serious when it has to. It's not always fun and games and this episode perfectly illustrates it.
Ted Lasso was a brilliant show and I hope they give us more seasons.
21 Jump Street (2012)
Guiltless pleasure
Yes, I know it's not a masterpiece but I don't care. Sometimes it's okay to shut your brain off and watch a braindead buddy cop movie with no depth or meaning. I don't feel guilty watching this at all, in fact I enjoy every second of it and it gets better every time I watch it. And I can sort of relate to Jonah Hills character.. That was basically me back in my school days.. Except I'm a lightweight and my grades were not particularly good... And my money management is questionable. He harmonizes really well with Channing Tatum, a highly unexpected duo that works better than you might imagine. And Chaning Tatum has the ability to make me laugh without really saying or doing anything funny, unique talent indeed.
My only complain about this this franchise is that there are only two movies.. I think I speak for every person alive when I say we need another sequel!!
Any time now, any time...
Vinland Saga (2019)
Overpraised as with every other anime in existence
I get why this stuff appeals to children but the majority of you are grown ups with fully functioning brains.. And it's impossible to have an argument with anime fans, they will go straight into defense mode whenever you criticize any aspects of it. This is NOT a masterpiece. Why is it rated 8.8? Were you all dropped on your heads as children or something??.. It uses the same recipe as every other anime I've had the misfortune of watching.. Spiky hair, woman with huge knockers, cheesy dialogue and characters screaming and being overly emotional all the friggin' time.. Yeah the visuals are great but that's about it for the positives.
Raise your standards and GROW UP!
Thank you.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)
Kevin's not here
Kevin was everything I wanted to be when I was a kid. A little troublemaker but with a big heart who did the right thing when he had to. Every kid in the 90s dreamt about dealing with bad guys the way he did. They may have pushed it a bit too far in this one tho, it kinda feels like Marv and Harry should have been dead at least three times.. At least. But then again, it's a kids movie and it's not meant to be taken seriously, I watch the two original Home Alone movies with my family every Christmas and it never stops being funny. By Christmas this year my son will be 5 years old and it's time to show him this timeless classic!
I will admit the first Home Alone movie is superior to this one but it's still a worthy entry and it's not complete without it. Nothing I would want more than for the original cast to return for a final re-union, it deserves an actual sequel and a modern day touch.
Footloose (1984)
At least the music was good..
.. And Kevin Bacon makes me question my sexual preference but that's about it for the positives.. Some nice dancemoves thrown in there as well but the story was really not that interesting.
I liked the premise about dancing being illegal and the kids rebelling against parental authority, cool idea but the execution was rather questionable. I like 80s cheese in general but this didn't agree with me. It's comparable to Dirty Dancing and Flash Dance in terms of music and dancing but they were far superior in terms of storytelling. This one fell short. It would have worked better with an R-Rating.
Not the worst movie I've seen but still I don't feel the need to see it again, once was enough.
Family Guy: Take This Job and Love It (2024)
When was the last time Family Guy released a banger??
I have seen all I need to see from this show. They no longer have the element of surprise, they tell the same joke over and over again but from a slightly different angle and it's no longer funny, or culturally relevant for that matter. Seth & his crew admitted they're no longer directly involved in the production, they come in every week to do the voices but that's it.. They have no part in the creative process and it's become lazy, pointless and stupid. They fell in the same trap as The Simspons.. It's been running for way too long without a valid reason to do so and it should have been canceled about 10 years ago.
I envy those of you who still find humor in this garbage,I truly do.. Wish I was that clueless.
Joker (2019)
I actually felt sorry for him... At first
Joaquin Phoenix absolutely nails this role and it is arguably one of the most deserved Oscars in movie history. This is a very different interpretation of the Joker character than we're used to. We got to see what led him to become the way he is and it was a daring choice from the creators, dealing with subject matters that normal producers are too afraid to even touch. During my first watch I sincerely wanted him to shoot Murray, if he didn't it would feel like a letdown.. During my second viewing I saw it more objectively.. Yes I had empathy with him but starting a movement, killing his mother, the people at the train, his colleagues and a talkshow host for poking fun at him was certainly not the way to ease his pain.
Tarantino praised this movie after watching it on the big screen, saying if you haven't seen it on the big screen you haven't seen the actual movie. Sadly I never did but even on a regular sized screen it was impactful enough. A highly disturbing movie but a damn good one at that.
10/10.
Lost (2004)
The title of the show is spot on
If you missed a single episode you would indeed be completely "Lost". If you paid attention on the other hand it was the most rewarding show on television at the time. It had a great diversity of characters with different personalities, all stranded on a mysterious island doing whatever they could to survive. The mystery kept us guessing and left us wondering and I felt like a kid on Christmas every time they released a new episode.. Up until a certain point that is.
I dare say this show didn't stay the course even tho some of you claim it did. Starting in season 4 they got off track, they introduced a bunch of new and un-interesting characters with annoying traits and they practically switched from drama to science fiction.. Suddenly time travel was implimented, and that's not what we originally signed up for.. Some of you claim the ending was perfect even tho our questions remained un-answered and that the show itself had nothing to do with the mystery but rather the characters surrounding it.. Which is complete nonsense. If it wasn't about the mystery, why add in the first place??
The answer is simple: To keep us watching!!! Lost is not the first show in history to trick their viewers but it felt more severe because we had high expectations, similar to Game of Thrones from a certain point of view.
I will admit, I teared up in the final episode. It was emotional and well crafted. Lost is a fine show with great characters and a great story to go with it. Still I can't help but feel a little disappointed.
7/10.
Bookie (2023)
Well... At least Charlie Sheen made a cameo
It was nice to see him working with Chuck Lorre again after all these years, same thing goes for Angus T. Jones ( The kid who played Jake ).. As for the general quality of this show I'm not impressed. Chuck Lorre is famous for making banger TV shows but this one didn't hit me the right way. The fact that there is no laugh track doesn't bother me but the jokes just weren't that funny... The humor is too dry and simple. And the characters are stereotypical, boring and one-dimensional.
Hard to get invested into it really. I want to like this but I just can't. I pray season 2 will be better but Judging by what I've seen so far, I have my doubts.
Not the worst show I've seen but still a below average production.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
A solid entry overshadowed by it's predecessor
I don't wanna call it overrated or underrated. It's a solid entry and a good way to end a fantastic trilogy and I think most of you will back me up on that one. Would love a fourth movie but I doubt it will ever happen. I remember talks about Eddie Murphy playing The Riddler prior to it's release but sadly it never became a reality.
The Dark Knight Rises is without a doubt the most action packed in this trilogy, and arguably the most entertaining. But it didn't hit me the same way it's predecessor did. Tom Hardly portrayed Bane like a champion but this trilogy will be remembered for Heath Ledger and his portrayal of The Joker, the most iconic villain in movie history and I don't say that lightly.. Not an easy roll to fill but he nailed it to say the least.
I know some of you fanboys didn't appreciate it's "realistic" approach. The characters was less "cartoony" more relatable and closer to real life. If you ask me, it was the best thing that could happen to the Batman concept. It deserved this approach and Nolan did it justice.
This is, and it will always be the ultimate version of Batman.. And the second best trilogy in movie history.
Scary Movie 3 (2003)
What you clowns talking about? It's a masterpiece!!
The plot is a work of pure genius, a labyrinth of complexity that even the most seasoned scholars of film theory would struggle to decipher. It's like a Shakespearean play, if Shakespeare had a sense of humor that only a connoisseur of the finest dad jokes could appreciate. The subtle nuances and intellectual depth of the narrative are so profound that you might find yourself questioning your own existence by the end of it.
The performances are nothing short of Oscar-worthy. Charlie Sheen's portrayal of a man caught in the crossfire of extraterrestrial conspiracy is a tour de force, a gripping exploration of the human condition in the face of intergalactic absurdity. And who could forget the mesmerizing chemistry between Anna Faris and Leslie Nielsen? Their on-screen connection is so palpable that I wouldn't be surprised if they were secretly solving world peace behind the scenes.
The special effects are on another level entirely. Forget about the groundbreaking CGI in Avatar; Scary Movie 3's visual effects are so cutting-edge that James Cameron probably wishes he had thought of them first. The aliens are so realistic that you might find yourself scanning the night sky for signs of an impending invasion.
And let's not overlook the cultural commentary woven throughout the film. Scary Movie 3 is a social satire that rivals the works of Swift and Voltaire. It's a mirror held up to society, reflecting our deepest fears and desires with unparalleled wit and insight. The film's social commentary is so profound that it will leave you questioning the very fabric of reality.
In conclusion, Scary Movie 3 is not just a movie; it's a transcendental experience that will leave you questioning the meaning of life, the universe, and everything in between. Move over, Shawshank Redemption, because there's a new sheriff in town, and its name is Scary Movie 3. Bravo, Hollywood, bravo.
Why this masterpiece wasn't nominated in a single Oscar category is beyond my comprehension.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over
This is hands down my favorite comedy ever made.
Sorry Hot Fuzz but I prefer this one over you.. It was a close call tho. It was made by a small studio with a limited budget but every scene is done to absolute perfection. The camerawork is great, the acting is spot on, it's funny as can be and it even gets scary when it needs to. Near the end I stopped laughing because I was genuinely concerned for the characters and their well being. This movie is very quotable and it have some amazing one liners. And Even 20 years after it's release I still can't stop laughing at the fence jump scene. Gotta give it to Edgar Wright and his crew, they know their craft.
Would love for them to go back to their roots and make more low budget comedy movies, they seem to work better in this format. Sadly they turned to Hollywood as brilliant filmmakers often do.
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
The cold is coming to get you, RUN!!
I was 14 when this movie released, I saw it on the big screen with my classmates and they all seemed to enjoy it for whatever reason. I stormed out of the movie theater halfway through because I couldn't take it anymore. I was lucky enough to see it again on television yesterday and I actually finished it this time.. It was actually better than I remembered. Not objectively of course but I laughed all the way through.. It was actually comedy gold!!.. I doubt the creators intended for the audience to laugh uncontrollably but that's the effect it had on me.. It was so friggin' stupid I couldn't control myself..
Typical Roland Emmerich movie. No research, no logic. He doesn't know how to make movies but that doesn't stop him. Giving it two stars because of decent-ish visual effects but that's all I can give it.
8 Mile (2002)
I don't even like rap...
Except for Tupac because of reasons.
But regardless of my taste in music, Eminem is my God. Heck he could be singing opera and he would still be my God.. Although I will admit he's not the greatest actor but I don't care. Just seing him on the screen fills me with awe!.. And this movie almost tricked me into liking rap music because of his writing. Jay Z described him as "Lyrically insane" and I couldn't agree more.. The final rap battle is stuck in my head and I know it by heart. Word has it that Papa Doc never recovered mentally from the verbal abuse he had to endure.
Although this is partially a biography, I would still love a sequel. Anytime now God, anytime now.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
Oh dear..
A friend of mine made me watch this and he suggested the sequels after it was done and I firmly had to put my foot down because nah. I don't mind gore as long as it's done right.. This is not done right. It's made by a bunch of amateurs who don't know how the make movies. The production team practically admitted the only reason they made this pathetic excuse for a movie was because of money. They're not even trying to hide the fact that they're sellouts, they straight up said it.
I understand it has a cult following but I don't understand why.. How this garbage can appeal to a single living soul is beyond comprehension.
I knew of this movie's existence through South Park but I never thought I would find myself watching the real version.. I was warned behorehand, I knew i was heading for disappointment.. Only reason I gave it one star is because it doesn't go any lower.. Movies like this makes me think IMDB need a new rating-system. Honestly the worst movie I have ever seen in my life, and I have seen quite a few.
Don't waste your time on this.
Jurassic World (2015)
I was rooting for the dinosaurs..
Just finished watching the entire franchise for reasons I can't explain. The first one is a masterpiece but anything made after that ranges from boring to laughable.. And I didn't laugh because it was funny, I laughed because it was pathetic. I counted a few attempts to be funny but it wasn't. Only positive thing about the sequels are the visual effects. They do look quite impressive but I couldn't get invested in the story at all. The first movie kept me on the edge of my seat because I felt it.. The look in the kids eyes, it felt like they were really in danger and I was there with them every step of the way.. In this one I honestly just wanted the kids to get eaten and for the dinosaurs to triumph over humanity.. And the forced love scene between the two main characters is hands down the most pathetic attempt at romance I have ever witnessed in a movie.
6.9 is too good for a movie like this. Great use of CGI does not make for a great movie, the sooner you clowns realize that the better. Thank you, and please raise your standards.
South Park: The Worldwide Privacy Tour (2023)
Why the praise? It's average..
Granted it was the best episode of 2023 but the standards were not particularly high. This episode did remind me of classic South Park yes, but if it released 20 years ago you wouldn't even bat an eye.. The standards are now so low that it tricks you into believing that average episodes like this is more special than they actually are.. Your expectations is reduced to absolute zero! It's not even top 100 material if you ask me. It had me laughing a few times but laugther should be a minium requirement for a comedy show. It was not memorable and it will not be remembered 50 years from now.
I repeat: This is average!!
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
I showed it to my parents and they disowned me
Personally I think this movie is absolutely hysterical. Old people have no style.. Although if I met Sasha in real life I would probably run away in fear, the man is a complete nutcase and he takes his characters way too far.. And he wouldn't break character even if someone held a gun to his head.. That's how dedicated he is.
This movie is a huge middle finger to political correctness but I've met a few people from Kazakhstan and they all seem to enjoy it. It's not an accurate represantation of their culture at all but apparently they have a sense of humor, they know it's in good fun and it doesn't bother them for a second.
I suppose this movie is not for everyone and it gives a new meaning to the word "Cringe".. But if you don't mind political incorrectness and off color humor I suggest you give it a chance.
Breaking Bad: Fly (2010)
Honestly my favorite episode
Unlike most of you I didn't see it when it first released, I binged the entire series a few years later. I don't consider this a pointless filler episode at all, it had some great character development and it was a needed addition to progress the story. I can understand the frustration from when it released.. You were waiting a whole week for a new episode and this is what you got.. No action scenes or anything, purely "drama" and dialogue by Jesse and Walter fighting like and old married couple over a stupid fly.. I hear most of you enjoyed it more the second time around but personally I enjoyed it from the first moment. Very underrated episode indeed.
The Holiday (2006)
Only thing missing is Jennifer Aniston
I actually tortured myself by watching it all the way through.. My girlfriend laughed like a hyena every time Cameron Diaz opened her mouth while I was shaking my head wondering what on earth I see in her.. Best Christmas movie ever made she said, I maintain this title belongs to Home Alone but she insisted I was wrong.. I wasn't.
Only tolerable part of this movie was the background music. Can't go wrong with Hans Zimmer. And the Dustin Hoffman cameo caught me slightly off guard.. And Cameron Diaz is a horrible actor.. She would never get acting jobs if she wasn't pretty and we all know it.
Categorizing this as a Christmas movie is an insult to Christmas movies. It's a chick flick and that's all it is. Not impressed, not for a second.
F9 (2021)
Oh my...
Fast & Furious 9 is an unmitigated disaster that defies the very essence of cinematic storytelling. This installment in the once-revered franchise careens off the tracks, leaving viewers with a sense of bewilderment and disappointment. If you were expecting a high-octane thrill ride, prepare to be sorely disappointed as the film careens into the realm of absurdity with reckless abandon.
Firstly, the storyline is an incoherent mess, as if the writers played a high-stakes game of Mad Libs with a script and hoped for the best. The narrative lacks any semblance of logic, with characters seemingly possessing a magical ability to cheat death and defy the laws of physics at every turn. The film's attempt at weaving a complex and engaging plot falls flat, resulting in a convoluted mess that leaves the audience scratching their heads in confusion.
The dialogue is equally cringe-worthy, filled with painfully forced one-liners and ham-fisted attempts at humor. The once-charismatic characters have been reduced to caricatures of their former selves, spouting off clichéd lines that elicit more eye-rolls than laughter. Vin Diesel's Dominic Toretto, once a charismatic leader, now comes across as a caricature of machismo, delivering lines with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
The action sequences, which were once the franchise's saving grace, have now become a cacophony of CGI chaos. Cars swinging from ropes like Tarzan, magnetized vehicles defying the laws of gravity, and over-the-top stunts that defy all logic-these are just a few examples of the film's desperate attempts to outdo its predecessors. Instead of thrilling, these moments evoke unintentional laughter and a sense of disbelief at the sheer absurdity on display.
Even the inclusion of John Cena as Dom's long-lost brother fails to inject any life into the lifeless narrative. The sibling rivalry feels contrived, and Cena's character lacks the charisma and depth needed to make him a compelling addition to the Fast & Furious universe.
In conclusion, Fast & Furious 9 is a cinematic catastrophe that tarnishes the legacy of a once-beloved franchise. It's a shameless exercise in excess, sacrificing coherence, character development, and storytelling for the sake of mindless spectacle. Save yourself the agony and opt for a different movie night option; you'll thank yourself later.
Terminator Salvation (2009)
I don't blame Christian Bale for the outburst
Christian Bale famously lost his temper during the making of this movie, for which I don't blame him. He's a dedicated actor and he takes his job seriously. The production team was not serious at all, all they wanted was to make a quick buck and it shows in the final product. The "overacting" and the Batman voice is obviously a result of him not getting directions, the actors are only as good as the production team allows them to be. They had no vision, the story was not particularly impressive.. The actors delivers their lines without puttin any effort into it and it was painful to watch. Decent-ish visual is it's only selling point but that's not enough to save it. If you haven't seen this pathetic excuse for a movie yet I can safely say you didn't miss out.
Not worth your time. I'm giving it 5/10 and that's more generous than it deserves.
Disaster Movie (2008)
Best movie I have ever seen, hands down.
Where do I even begin with The Disaster Movie? It's a cinematic gem, a true masterpiece that defies the conventions of good taste and storytelling. Move over, Citizen Kane; there's a new sheriff in town.
Firstly, let's talk about the groundbreaking script. It's so innovative, so ahead of its time, that it throws away the notion of coherence altogether. Who needs a logical plot when you can cram as many pop culture references and toilet humor into 90 minutes? It's like the writers played Mad Libs with a bunch of random movie titles and said, "Yep, that's our plot."
The character development in this film is simply unparalleled. I've never seen characters so one-dimensional, and it's genuinely refreshing. It's like the actors decided to embrace their lack of depth and just roll with it. Who cares about emotional arcs when you can have characters who exist solely for cheap laughs and cringe-worthy parodies?
The special effects, oh my, let's not even get started on the groundbreaking CGI that rivals the best of the '90s. Forget about Avatar; The Disaster Movie gives you visuals that will make you question the very fabric of reality. The green screen work is so avant-garde that you'll think you're watching a live performance at your local community theater.
And the jokes. Oh, the jokes. They're so brilliantly unfunny that they loop around and become comedic gold. Who needs wit and clever writing when you can have the comedic finesse of a third-grader armed with a whoopee cushion and a rubber chicken?
In conclusion, The Disaster Movie is a triumph of bad taste, an opus of cinematic catastrophe that will leave you questioning your very understanding of what constitutes a good film. Move over, Academy Awards; this is the true definition of a masterpiece. Bravo, Disaster Movie, bravo.
I wanted to rate it 12/10 but sadly I don't have the option.
Fast X (2023)
A Cinematic Masterpiece!!!
Fast X, the latest addition to the legendary Fast and Furious saga, left me utterly speechless. From the heartwarming family reunions to the mind-bending physics-defying stunts, this movie is a true testament to the laws of gravity being optional.
Vin Diesel, thespian extraordinaire, delivers a performance that will surely be remembered for generations to come. His emotional range is so vast that you can practically feel the intensity of his facial expressions through the screen. It's like watching a master class in emoting while driving a car at 200 mph. Who knew family values could be so closely intertwined with drag racing and explosions?
The plot is a rollercoaster of surprises, twists, and turns that will leave you questioning the very fabric of reality. The intricacy of the storyline is matched only by the subtlety of the dialogue, which is so profound that you might miss it if you blink. The film is a symphony of profound insights and thought-provoking conversations-truly an intellectual feast.
Let's not forget the breathtaking cinematography that captures the essence of speed like never before. The camera work is so seamless that it's almost as if the cameraman strapped themselves to the hood of a speeding car just to get that perfect shot. A sacrifice for art, if you will.
In conclusion, Fast X is a cinematic marvel that defies conventional storytelling, effortlessly blending family drama with vehicular acrobatics. Vin Diesel and his co-stars have once again raised the bar for what cinema can achieve. I left the theater with a newfound appreciation for the complexities of life, family, and the laws of physics. Truly, a film that will be remembered for generations as a groundbreaking masterpiece in the world of cinema. Or not.