mail-441-387808 Reviews

Finders Keepers (I) (2015)

Watch it in the theatre

[10/10 · 31 July 2015]

I can't fault this really stunning documentary.

When the director stumbled across the numerous eccentric characters who made up this film, I'm sure he couldn't have believed his luck.

However instead of ridiculing the characters, he sensitively lets them tell their own stories in their own way.

Make no mistake - the end result will make you laugh out loud, which is why you should watch it in a crowd. However much of the humour comes from the editing rather than cheap shots at the characters' expense, and you will find yourself respecting both them and the director.

You'll also spend much of the movie thinking you are watching a mockumentary, since most of the stars are outstandingly telegenic, and the story - well it's too bizarre to be fiction.

The soundtrack is superb, as are the editing, the direction, the way the clips are woven into a story with a history and an ending, the attention to detail, and even the camera work.

Happy to give up a couple of hours of my time to this movie, and anything else by the same director.

The Assassin (2015)

Dreary and Emiserating

[1/10 · 27 July 2015]

I spent several hours, or perhaps it was years wasting what I consider to be an otherwise valuable life watching this film last night.

Unable to escape my mid-row seating I had to sit through the whole thing. I was on more than one occasion bored into unconsciousness, only to be disappointed on reawakening that the film was still running.

I awoke to such delights as a 60 second view of a blue sky, several minutes of people filling a bath with water, 90 seconds of goatwatch and several hours of a man sitting in a room doing nothing at all.

What little dialogue existed was delivered in depressed, stilted tones by misdirected actors, whose inner misery palpably infected the audience. This was made even worse by the fact that the English subtitles were often printed in white on a white background.

The end product must have been immensely disappointing to the talented people who worked on the sets and costumes, all of which were meticulously and beautifully designed.

We looked up the IMDb rating on this movie before going to see it, which was at that time a misleading 7.2. I can only assume that this is a friends-and-family vote.

If you value your time, take heed of the reviews and ignore the rating.

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

Johansson gets her kit off

[1/10 · 19 July 2014]

Scarlett Johannson in various states of undress, coupled with the guy who directed Sexy Beast.

Sounds like the perfect movie.

But it isn't.

During the longest hour of my life until I walked out, around 15 minutes were spent inside a white van, looking out of the window, with no dialogue. Very often while stationery sitting at traffic lights. In the rain. In a city in Scotland.

Other scenes include Johannson's expressionless face for a full two minutes while listening to hopeless music.

.....and those are the exciting bits.

I can't say there aren't any positives about the movie. She does get her kit off, albeit in silhouette, so it might be someone else.