geekgirl101 Reviews

El Conde (2023)

Boring and more boring

[1/10 · 21 September 2023]

Being black and white alone empathises just how dull this movie is. There's way too much narration not allowing for the movie to speak for itself, which is just an excruciatingly slow and tedious lament of a bitter old general waiting to die and a resentful and treacherous family clawing for his assets.

The majority of the movie is set in an old, abandoned and isolated village in foggy hills with lots of dreary violin duets in the background.

I cannot for the life of me understand how this movie got such a high recommendation. It just wasn't for me and I couldn't find anything comedic about it as so many have claimed it to be.

Ad Astra (2019)

Boring, droning and a waste of 2 hours of my life

[2/10 · 18 May 2023]

How in the hell did this become Oscar nominated? Nothing happens throughout most of this movie. Everywhere this guy goes there's a disaster and people die whilst he is lamenting on in his head about his life choices and his father in the most dull and emo voice throughout the movie.

I couldn't watch it through to the end, it was slowly choking me over just how dull and boring it was. There was so much bad science, like why have the guy take over controls of a space craft manually when there was no real reason to? And taking a quick stop in space off-course from a direct route to Mars for a space walk to another ship and then carrying back on course again simply would not happen. Also the guy was having so many psych evaluations it was like he was in some kind of mental institution that I think had the ending really been him waking up in an institution and having imagined the whole thing would've made more sense because there was so much wrong in this movie.

All this and more nonsense to add to the story including rabid space monkeys, moon pirates who are afraid of the dark (don't ask!), and an underwater scene on Mars which takes you directly underneath a rocket that's just about to blast off - but that's no problem because there's a space hatch just above those engines so you can crawl right inside that rocket at T-3 seconds and survive not being turned into a Kentucky Fried Cremation!

A good way to remind you that you're on Mars apparently is to install red bulbs everywhere it looks like you're walking in a red light district.

Hachi: A Dog's Tale (2009)

WARNING: Tears will follow

[7/10 · 23 March 2022]

No way should this movie be rated U. It's not fit for kids supervised or unsupervised - not unless you want your kids bawling in tears halfway through over a dying dog.

The story itself is already sad enough - yes I know it is based on a real event where a dog in Japan spent 9 years living at a train station waiting for its master to come home, but the people who wrote this manipulated the story to be extremely heartbreaking where the dog is basically left to fend for itself and spends the next 9 years sleeping under an abandoned train and returning to the station every night to wait for his master. They put in the most saddest music playing throughout the 2nd half of the movie that both me and my husband broke down in tears. Take note I'm in my 40's and he's in his 50's...I can't imagine how a child would respond to such a harrowing story.

Don't Look Up (2021)

The world is ending and we're all in stitches laughing about it

[10/10 · 7 January 2022]

I was worried this movie would be another version of Deep Impact, but if anything the movie actually took the rip out of Deep Impact. It also took the rip out of journalism, politics, and egocentric billionaires. President Orlean was very much like Donald Trump with her son Jason being like Boris Johnson. Peter Isherwell was like a combination of Steve Jobs, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg.

The movie was cringey but not because it was awful but because it was a very good realistic scenario of what would probably happen in today's modern world. I burst out laughing many times even though it was a disaster movie. Honestly with all the money and technology we have today you'd think we could face such a disaster and tackle it, but unfortunately we have some very undesirable people in power and this movie is a very hilarious yet damned frightening reality of what could happen if tomorrow we were told a gigantic comet or asteroid was heading on a direct collision course.

The Last Man on Planet Earth (1999 TV Movie)

Feministic views on men and horribly low budget effects

[2/10 · 26 May 2021]

So the plot is that a bio weapon intended to kill all soldiers at war (since, you know, all soldiers are men and no women) accidentally wiped out most of the men on the planet. With the world at peace the surviving females put down war and violence as something that only men were responsible for. After being shot by a man during a public feminist speech the remaining men on the planet were outlawed, reproduction with men was made illegal, lesbianism was embraced with cloning being the only means to reproduce.

A horny young scientist breaks the law by cooking up a genetically engineered baby boy in a matter of hours with all the aggressive traits removed and rapid aging, so after 30 days the aging would stop and he would age normally as a 20 year old man (how convenient for her!) When he escapes from their safe house in the woods to explore the rest of the world the women panic and see him as a threat and he becomes a fugitive being hunted by the police.

Whilst he never wields a hand let alone a weapon at the start of the film he is constantly referred to as armed and extremely violent. The women react with irrational fear that a man is on the loose in their neighbourhood and the police are all too keen to gun down an unarmed man (murica!) And halfway through the film we're given a lengthy male bashing speech using footage from anti-war and feminist protests which, in far fewer words, accuses men of being violent, murdererous, war-mongerering, women-beating rapists.

This film is extremely biased, sexist, and bashes men as being responsible for everything wrong with the world. Even if the ending proves that women aren't as innocent as they make themselves out be there it is outweighed by almost 90 minutes of male bashng. If you're a misandrist then by all means watch it, you might enjoy it. I didn't.

The Midnight Sky (2020)

A waste of 2 hours of my life

[2/10 · 26 December 2020]

This was so utterly awful that I couldn't watch it to the end, but my husband who endured the suffering filled me in on it with much regret. The plot is awful, the acting is awful, the science non-existent, and the ending was completely pointless.

So here's a summary of the film - everybody on Earth is dead except an old guy with a life threatening condition and an imaginary girl who are at a space station somewhere in the Arctic (we don't know why everyone's dead or why he's the only survivor and we'll never find out.) A small team of astronauts who've been investigating a fictional Earth-like moon dubbed K-32 orbiting Jupiter are returning back to Earth and receive a signal (in real time ofc) from the old guy who eventually reveals that everybody's dead. They tell the old guy to make a pointless journey to a nearby weather station because the communication signal there is stronger (yeah right!) So he spends the next couple of days journeying through a horrendous blizzard where he rarely ever shows signs of the freezing conditions, almost drowns after sleeping in a cabin that's been sitting on thin ice (and comes out of it dry) and loses his only supply of medication he needs to survive.

Meanwhile on the spacecraft gravity seems to decide when it's convenient as the crew are seen either floating in airlocks and tunnels or walking around a huge bridge area and drinking coffee. Disasters come as waves of space snowballs which have no effect on the spacecraft which seems to be made out of a metal cage covered in thin cloth, yet they manage to totally smash up key devices such as their radar, solar panels and communications antenna (which somehow magically reappears later on.)

In the end they don't rescue the old man but dump 2 of their crew back on Earth - one of whom is a doctor - whilst the others turn back to K-23. Ah yes, I forgot to mention that one of the crew members in the return party is pregnant, so any complications during her pregnancy on her way back means she and/or her baby could die since they now don't have a doctor; but it's likely they'll die from starvation anyways as there won't be any food on K-23. As for the ones back on Earth they too are gonna die because they're all guys and you can't repopulate the human species with a sausage party.

This film is 2020 in a nutshell - everybody's dead and those who aren't are gonna die anyways. The end.

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

Overhyped and overrated

[6/10 · 4 November 2020]

Like so many Netflix Originals this is just another overhyped series. The story is not in any chronological order with it flip-flopping between past and present from various perspectives and nightmares that drag the story on, so it is very difficult to follow and just feels like lazy writing. I found it far too frustrating after a couple of episodes.

As for the fear level there honestly wasn't much of it. A few jump scares here and there and a couple of creepy buildups that went nowhere. It was really lacking.

Leaving Neverland (2019)

Not a credible documentary

[1/10 · 19 May 2019]

The smell of money is greater than honesty and justice, and this reeks of fat dollar bills.

People ask why would those working around MJ lie, let's not forget that MJ went through a number of workers after they were caught stealing from his property or were paid to make false claims on camera and just wanted to get back at him for firing them.

Whatever the reasons these 2 men have for making claims years later after MJ's death as abuse victims I'm highly doubting their testimonies. They've had plenty of time to pick up on the emotions and testimonies of genuine abuse victims that one could put on a face and make a believable testimony that could fool even an professional psychologist into believing they were victims of abuse.

Whether this is true for these men is hard to debate since there is nothing to credit or discredit their claims, even the man who could've stood against them and denied their claims is dead and all we have are the paid-off ex-workers for MJ whose testimonies are watered down with lies and deception. It's a one-sided argument and no judge would ever agree whether it was truth or not that they were indeed victims of abuse, so neither should anybody else in this case.

The Wandering Earth (2019)

More bull than a cow shed

[2/10 · 16 May 2019]

This movie was plain awful. The plot, ridiculous. The script, horrendous. The acting, poor. Despite many scenes supposedly meant to introduce some suspense and emotions towards the characters I felt nothing as there was just no depth to either the story or the characters themselves and the whole thing just dragged on. There was nothing memorable about this movie at all, it was utter ridiculous on a scientific level and I lost complete interest in it within the first quarter of the movie.

A Korean Odyssey (2017–2018)

Great story!

[10/10 · 27 December 2018]

The budget effects are cheap, the acting is very theatrical, the episodes are over an hour long each, but it's a really amazing story worthy of binge watching.

A Korean Odyssey (2017–2018)

Long episodes but worth the time

[10/10 · 8 November 2018]

There's 19 episodes that are all around 80 mins long each, but don't let that put you off watching this. It's such a beautiful and tragic series with a lots of funny and quirky moments in it. The acting is very theatrical, the effects are cheap and low budget, but it grows on you over time and is worthy of binge watching. This goes to show that you don't need amazing special effects to make a great story.

Mob Psycho 100 (2018)

Like early Power Rangers

[10/10 · 23 October 2018]

This movie mimics anime so there's a lot of exaggerated behaviour. It's obvious it was done with a low budget as much of the scenery is recycled for various scenes including the title and credits sequence. It has an early Power Ranger feel to it especially in the battle scenes. The effects are pretty decent though. Fairly humorous in places. Younger generations would probably appreciate this movie more than grown ups.

Sausage Party (2016)

If I could give it less than 1 star I would.

[1/10 · 30 September 2018]

For the first few minutes I found the sexual referencing and swearing in song pretty hilarious, but as the movie went on it was just going too far. The swearing was far too excessive, there was a lot of drug use (which says something about the guy who wrote this movie), and there was also a fair amount of offensive stereotyping too. It got beyond amusing and was just plain offensive with half the script being nothing but profanities. When I eventually got to watching it through I was not at all entertained but was angry with myself for letting myself watch it through. It went from being plain offensive to absolutely vulgar just for the sake of pushing how far they could go with this movie. Very distasteful and pure garbage. There were very few moments where I found the movie funny but this paled to the amount of frustration and disgust I felt in watching the majority of it. You don't have to be sickening to be an adult movie.

Aggretsuko (2018–2023)

Holy mother of god!

[10/10 · 30 August 2018]

When I saw the trailer for this I nearly fell off my chair. I binge watched the entire series in a day and I loved every minute of it.

So a bit about this anime, it's one where people are replaced by cute and relatable animals reflecting their personalities with Retsuko playing the role of a young and submissive, overworked and underappreciated accountant who bottles in all her stress until she whips out her microphone and unleashes her fury through hardcore death metal karaoke. It kind of falls along side of series like IT Crowd where it mostly takes place in an office cell block, although more from the female point of view in stereotype Japan. It's very humorous and also has its emotional moments where you are drawn into the main character.

It's crazy fun and very unique in the way Retsuko deals with her daily stress. If you love series like IT Crowd and Happy Tree Friends then you're going to love Aggretsuko, although I highly recommend English dubbed version if you don't understand Japanese. I guarantee this one is definitely a big hit.

Visions (II) (2015)

Don't watch this late at night

[2/10 · 11 February 2018]

Everyone is so quiet and soft-spoken throughout the movie, but whenever there's a jump-scare (and there's lots of them) they are so loud they make you jump out of your seat. I couldn't watch this in the end without deafening myself and waking the neighbours because I had to turn the volume up high to hear the cast speaking and then the speakers would get blasted out by bangs and screams. I like jump scares but this was just annoying.

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016)

I am the boring thing that wastes your time

[1/10 · 13 October 2017]

Dull story that takes place in one set with a very small cast. Not much of a horror but just dreary, depressing, so dull I barely remember what it was all about even though I watched it 5 mins ago. There's a female narrative throughout that sounds like an emo dalek and often repeating the same lines. Giving away the cliffhanger at the start just took away any kind of suspense that might've been present in the story.

Sense8 (2015–2018)

Sex8

[8/10 · 25 September 2017]

Like so many of Netflix's premiers and exclusives, this is just one of those series which is primarily and excuse to show as much and as detailed gay sex and orgies as possible. It's just annoying, boring filler for what is a great plot, and I wish Netflix would just put a plug in it because it's getting way too "in your face" with all these sex scenes.

Death Note (I) (2017)

More like a movie based on Death Note

[3/10 · 28 August 2017]

As long as you treat this movie as one based on Death Note then it makes an OK horror movie, however if you've seen the anime then be prepared for disappointment if you expect this movie to resemble anything like the anime. The comparison to the film and the anime version was like the difference between night and day and it felt so rushed and like it was missing too much from the anime.

L was just your typical and estranged detective and resembled nothing of the L in the anime. His conclusion to who Kira was was nothing special that anybody could've easily worked out for themselves. He was also taking the Kira case far too personally from the get-go and was more emotional than the eccentric and emotionless L we know in the anime.

In the anime the reason it took so long to prove who Kira was was because he was as smart as L so he was always several steps ahead and was able to plan everything so that no solid evidence could prove that he was Kira, but in the movie the whole psychological game was completely missed out. It was only at the very end that Light Turner was comparable to Light Yakamoto in the anime.

Ryuk appeared far too early in the movie and was encouraging Light to write names in the book and was manipulative, but in the anime he appeared after Light had already filled in several pages without any influence or encouragement and was amused by Lights' use of the book and finding new ways in which he could get away with writing names in it without being caught.

More than half the characters were missing from this movie including M and N and what few characters were in it there was no depth to them and were easily forgettable.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017–2019)

A series of an unfortunate series

[1/10 · 19 January 2017]

I cannot believe this series is comparable to the movie. In the movie the children are kept from seeking help as every opportunity is barricaded by the count's deliberate attempts to draw attention away from the children to himself and interrupted their conversations so they could not reveal what he was up to, and there were times he locked their room or guarded them so they could not escape and ask for help. In the series however the children had a number of opportunities where they could report that he was forcing them to do slave labor and that they were sleeping in squalid conditions, but instead they asked to use their neighbours' library so they could read a book on cooking to make the count his dinner and then went to town to buy the ingredients!

Then we have the narrator who constantly pops up in the middle of the scene with his droning and depressing voice and it's just way too intrusive in comparison to the narrator in the movie who was just thinking out loud whilst typing the Baudelaire story on his typewriter.

I fail to see why so many people liked this series. Other reviewers say it's "true to the books", but since I never read the books I don't know and from this TV series would assume the books must be equally as boring and frustrating as the series.

Warcraft (2016)

Good but...

[8/10 · 27 September 2016]

Despite having played World of Warcraft since vanilla days I'm not one of those fanboys who is going to give this a perfect 10/10 full of praises, because it's not a perfect 10/10.

Without giving away the plot if I can the movie is already condensed to roughly 2 hours and it is very noticeable. It feels as if the "filler" scenes have been cut out in order to create 1 movie instead of splitting it into 2 movies. Unless you are a long-time World of Warcraft player you will be lost into where the story is taking place as it jumps from one place and extremity to another with no buildup or any sense of direction. You're given names of places part-way through but you'll still end up pretty lost wondering where the heck things are currently taking place. You end up discovering things as they are in full immersion and asking yourself many times "hey did I miss something, when did that suddenly come into play?"

Despite that the movie has many holes in the storyline that if you blink you feel you might've missed what feels like 15 mins of plot buildup, the biggest fear of all I had was the use of CGI and the announcement that the graphics were going to look slightly cartoony in order to fit in with the game. Thankfully the orcs don't look like badly rendered Hulks (except for baby Thrall who looks like mini Shrek), but the dwarf race looks like they were plucked from Disney Pixar's Brave.

There's no introduction to the other races and they don't have much to do in the story as it's virtually based on humans vs orcs. The introduction to the movie only tells you that there is a war between orcs and humans and that the orc world was destroyed, but it doesn't tell you why their world was destroyed other than that the Fel had something to do with it. There's no explanation of who Gul'dan is and why he influences the orcs so much when they already have a warchief, and who the blue race at the start of the movie is and why the orcs have them in cages. Back in Stormwind during a heated discussion at the round table we see what I assume are 3 high elfs of the Kirin Tor who had only 7 words in the entirety of the movie and then we never see them again, but for anyone else who's never played World of Warcraft nobody would know who they were or why they were even in the movie. Even I don't know why they are there as they contribute nothing to the movie.

Graphics wise the movie is beautiful and full of tremendous detail on the cities and orc outposts, except perhaps the street view of the city exit to Stormwind being once again something plucked out from Shrek the movie. The music is also good and has you in places thinking you're watching the game until you realize the graphics are a bit too good for the game.

The acting is pretty good, but with holes throughout the story it makes it look bad in places.

Overall not a bad attempt, if there's a director's cut to be released then it must be enough film to double the length of the movie and make sense of why events took place instead of pasting all the action scenes next to each other and calling it a movie and would've appealed to not only the existing World of Warcraft players but to all viewers.

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (2011)

Awful

[2/10 · 5 March 2016]

I was warned not to watch this as I'd be massively disappointed. However last week it was on TV so I decided to see what was so bad. I didn't see it from the start but I did see the majority of it except for the ending where I fell asleep because it was so dull.

The movie regularly cuts to different scenes as if it was badly edited in an attempt to reduce it in size or create suspense, but it just feels like a badly edited movie that's half finished. I didn't find it remotely disturbing but just as an excuse to make a second vomit- quality B movie of naked people eating each others' faeces which failed to deliver in comparison to the first movie.

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

It's OK

[7/10 · 1 June 2014]

I didn't think it was too bad of a movie, although I have to agree with a few people about some roles that may as well not have been there. I think much of the venom is about this not being related to the Dungeons & Dragons series or game.

Most of the main roles are played by teenagers, so this would suit as a family movie for children who aren't young enough for Disney cartoons but old enough for some live action that won't give them nightmares.

Acting is overall pretty good. It doesn't feel like a budget movie, and certainly doesn't show to be a budget movie with the dragons. You really do feel that they put a good amount of effort to make everything look convincingly realistic, but what is disappointing is that half the cast don't even have a role. They'll do or say something once or twice but they hardly do or say anything else that actually contributes their character to the movie. You start to forget they're actually there as the movie is centred on the main hero, girlfriend, and protagonists.

And as for the ending it was something that was slapped in a year later without thinking about how the audience is going to relate it to any part of the movie. It leaves you confused asking yourself what just happened because it didn't happen anywhere else in the movie and there's no reference anywhere to explain why it would happen. It was an effort to make it not seem as depressing but the writer should've at least have thought of adding something somewhere else in the movie to explain why it ended like it did or an explanation at the very end instead of "don't question the gift you've been given." In fact it seems that there is a lot of unanswerable questions in the movie with the excuse that it's not to be questioned, and it leaves you a bit frustrated because you want answers to understand the movie, not to be left guessing why some people weren't allowed to help or why things happened the way they did. It becomes nonsensical jibber jabber that screams out badly written because the author couldn't be bothered to put in an explanation and left it to our imagination, but there's only so much our imagination can tell us and without any clues anywhere else you may as well say "they can't help rescue the girl because they ate bread for breakfast."

Pacific Rim (2013)

Intense earache after watching

[7/10 · 25 December 2013]

Well, storywise there's plenty of reviews about this, so my beef is going to be about the noise levels. This movie seems to struggle with being too darned quiet when you want to hear what people are saying and too darned noisy when it gets to intense moments. I could hear it from 2 rooms away as if I was in the same room. My ears were ringing from the bass. The floor was vibrating, even the radiators were vibrating and buzzing, but as soon as the intense part was over it was too quiet to hear anything again. I was having to constantly adjust the volume control.

You really don't have to deafen your viewers to pump up the intensity levels you know.

Grimm's Snow White (2012 Video)

Poorly done budget film

[4/10 · 19 November 2013]

Poor acting, poorly scripted, badly drawn CGI graphics, yellow stick-on ears that don't fit the wearer, a lack of depth in the characters, an incredibly small elf army representing the whole of the elf population, CGI dogs that can't jump gaps and just fall into them, guards who don't really pay very much attention to whether their queen is under threat or not, a serious lack of dwarfs, an ugly hag who's supposed to be the 2nd most beautiful woman in the kingdom and wears a dress that's massively too big for her and is lacking in any jewellery, and snow white has blonde hair and pink lips. Need I say any more?

While the story has an interesting take on the tale we're all too familiar with it's lacking proper care and whoever did the makeup needs shooting. Couldn't even be bothered to paint the ears to make them the same skin colour as the wearer or attempt at hiding the seams so it looks like they're wearing fake ears.

Iron Man Three (2013)

What was the point in this movie?

[4/10 · 16 October 2013]

After seeing Marvel rewrite its own version of its own comic strips into movies and doing a far much better job at it I was looking forward to this one, even though Iron Man 2 was a bit meh and confusing. After all it's Marvel, and the comics are written by Marvel, what could go wrong?...

Short answer: Everything in this movie.

So Stark gives away his home location on live TV telling all the bad guys where he lives and to come and get him. And that's precisely what they do. After turning his luxury home into powder his costume breaks down and so he now spends a good chunk of the movie trying to fix it with the aid of some kid fan.

Only we learn right at the end of the movie that it's not his only costume. He has not one, not two, but hundreds of them! Which leaves the question, why focus all his attention on fixing the one costume to fight the bad guys when he has hundreds at his disposal?

The answer is pretty apparent when the Iron Man army is easily torn apart like paper dolls. No wonder Stark was focusing all his attention on his original suit. These weren't Iron Man suits, these were Plastic Man suits.

And then what does he decide to do at the very end? He blows them all up! He has an operation done to remove the shrapnel from his chest, a contradiction to the Marvel comics where he was unable to have the shrapnel removed without it killing him, which is why he had the device in his chest to save his life in the first place!

His decision to give up being Iron Man so that he and his wife can live a normal life is almost immediately set in full reverse when he goes back to the rubble of his home to pick up bits for building a new costume and states at the end "you can take away my suits, you can take away my home, but there's one thing you can never take away from me - I am Iron Man."

Most confusing and pointless ending ever. Please don't make any more Marvel... please.