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Reviews
The Booth at the End (2011)
Pretentious, Boring and Amateurish
Lousy sound, plain and clumsy cinematography, truly awful Tarantino-inspired title cards (and by awful I mean an ugly typeface kerned so poorly that a 19 year old graphic design student does better work with a typeface), boring lighting and a location that is so...meh.
That's the (lack of) production value and it could be forgiven if this show were well written. It's not. It is haphazard storytelling pretending to be high brow and important.
The acting is awful. Even Xander Berkeley, who is normally wonderful, is nothing more than an eclectic collection of facial expressions. He isn't playing a character and it is clear he doesn't know what he's doing anymore than the rest of this sad cast. You can almost hear the director in the background yelling "Okay, now do this line ANGRY. No, be SAD. Now try it again and be CONFUSED." Nothing is emotionally coherent.
Your time is better spent scrubbing a toilet with a toothbrush than watching this terrible, terrible show.
A Lonely Place to Die (2011)
Cliché-Ridden Story With Bad Acting
I wanted to like this film. I thought "female protagonist, action film that doesn't have any guns on the poster, must be a smart, well made movie." I was soooooooooooo wrong.
The writing is awful. Just gutter crap. The acting is...bad. The dialog is lame lame lame. And the whole film looks like it was shot for 20 bucks. It's just a stupid, ugly, cliché-ridden story that never quit makes sense.
Walking out of the theater I said to my friend "Well, the moral of the story is its wrong to kidnap people." But, that's not the moral of the story...the moral of the story is don't see this movie.
Tactical Force (2011)
No Talent Director Makes Crappy Film Even More Crappy
I like action films. I like smart ones like Heat but I also enjoy brainless action films like Con Air. This film, at its very best, could never have been a Con Air. The concept is too thin, the stakes too low, the writing too weak.
That being said, it might have been a forgettable 6 out of 10. Instead, Adamo Paolo Cultraro manages to take a weak concept and reduce it into such a lousy, awful, painful piece of crap that I would give anything for my time back. The photography sucks. The camera angels suck. The lighting sucks. Every line is delivered flat. The acting is really, really awful. Every artistic and technical choice that can be made on a film is made as wrong as can be.
I accidentally saw Adamo Cultraro's other film. I didn't realize it was his. He has shown some growth from his first film; budget growth. He hasn't shown any artistic growth. He is the kind of talentless SoCal idiot who jiggles a camera and thinks he's making The Third Man. The rest of his talentless crew would have more dignity if they'd worked on a soft-core porn shoot.
Steve Austin why do you make such awful films? You have enough clout to surround yourself with better than this! This is so awful it makes 1980's action films by Van Damme look brilliant by comparison!
Your time would be better spent scrubbing that stain in the guest bedroom.