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Blueynoes
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Heroes: Chapter Four 'I Am Become Death' (2008)
This does it for me
This episode marks the last Heroes episode I'll watch. I rarely comment on here, but I'll make an exception for this one. Season 1 was beyond awesome and established an interesting story. Season 2, despite the criticism, I thought wasn't too bad, just rushed into less episodes.
Season 3 started off weird. To be honest I was googling around trying to find out what I had missed, because it looked like they skipped over 5 episodes of additional content, but I swallowed it anyway.
Here we are now, 4 episodes into season 3. And oh boy.. Nikki dies in season 3 and is conveniently replaced with a twin sister with powers that are easier to use in the storyline.
4 years into the future, everyone decides to just change factions. Sylar goes from being a pure evil villain to being a housedad with a son that's clearly older than 4. Peter is considered the cause of Armageddon and is hated and wanted. Claire is suddenly evil, but they forgot to tell the actress that trying to angry in every sentence doesn't make you believable.
Even the non-future parts are ridiculous. Peter's mom goes from mysterious to pure insane as she feeds a woman to Sylar. Sylar is released, kills someone, then just decides to return to captivity to be with his new mother. Parker is dropped in the desert for no reason and meets someone with the ability to paint the future (I know! original right!). Claire gets a weird subplot where she wants to learn how to fight, that ultimately accomplishes nothing. Claire's mother is reintroduced, and instead of saying Hi like a normal human, she greets her daughter by creating a fire in her hands. And Mohinder? Well obviously it only takes 1 episode for him to turn from a thinking scientist into someone who suddenly decides to inject himself with an untested formula because well, he wants a power too. It is of course completely acceptable that he and Maya are declared lovers 5 minutes afterwards.
And let's not forget about Hiro, an interesting character who's currently more focused on trying to be funny than anything else.
I don't know where to begin. This is a rant, and nothing more, but it's all I can come up with. I loved Heroes as a series, and it's absolutely sickening to look at what it's become. It's like they're just throwing together tons of superpowers to create cool looking effects, and have to create at least 3 plot twists every 10 minutes to keep things interesting. But they're destroying the world that took them 2 seasons to create. 4 episodes in and they've done a pretty good job already of changing every single character. I don't think there's a single character that did not switch sides in these 4 episodes.
So I'll end now. I gave it a shot. 4 shots actually, but I can't take much more. I'll end Heroes at season 2, and pretend that it continued like it started - strong and promising.
Stargate: Atlantis: Inquisition (2008)
Why?
Every show has them. Flashback episodes. 5 minutes into Inquisition, I went "oh god, not another trial episode" 30 seconds later, I said "oh god, not a flashback episode!" I skipped forward by 3 minutes 3 times, and saw old footage everywhere. I then turned off my TV.
I don't understand it. Nobody likes flashback episodes. We've seen this before. Either I remember the episode you're showing me, and the footage is pointless, or I don't remember, and it's equally pointless as your 30 second clip will mean nothing to me. If you're out of footage, make the season shorter. Do not put fans of your show through one of these garbage episodes.
It's a shame series resort to episodes like this, and I really hope we'll one day see a good show devoid of flashback episodes. 0.0001/10
Avoid this episode at all costs. It's boring and a complete waste of time.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
They didn't...
Being a huge fan of the original Mummy film, and even loving the second, I was looking forward to this. It had a rating on IMDb that was far lower than the other 2, but hey, it's The Mummy! How bad can it be? The first 5 minutes of the film already had me sitting there shocked and praying for improvement. You get an introduction to the story behind a Chinese mummy that lasts way too long and is filled with needless scenes, and ends with the Chinese Emperor turning into chocolate (yes, chocolate) in a ridiculous CGI scene. I assume it was meant to look like mud, but no, really, it's chocolate.
Past the awful introduction, we are introduced to the new Evey, who manages to disappoint us as the replacer of Weisz in the first 3 seconds, and the son of the 2 heroes, who has managed to age 20 years in the time his parents aged 20 minutes. The son, played by Luke Ford, discovers the Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Everything ends up going wrong as expected, and soon enough he is joined by his parents and together they try and stop the new mummy threat.
And that, is where everything goes downhill even further. Forget the suspense and action of the first movie. The Mummy itself is CGI for the biggest part of the movie. The chase scenes, the fights scenes, everything is CGI. And bad CGI at that. Every scene feels like a pointless filler they had to put in so the movie lasted long enough to show at the theaters. It's all laughably bad. We see a CGI mummy with wooden animations attack the heroes with CGI fireballs that look nothing like fireballs, and we actually see CGI Yetis commanded by a Japanese woman. That's right. A Japanese chick shouting orders to a Yeti.
I don't know where it went wrong. It could be the emperor turning into chocolate, the mummified army of the emperor looking like toys, the decision to have yetis commanded by a Japanese girl, replacing Jet Li with a tin-can CGI emperor, or Brendan Fraser jumping away from something that is supposed to resemble a blast of fire while uttering the same 'AAH' that Rachel Weisz uttered when she read the script, but it went wrong.
This movie is really, really bad. Stay away, far far away. I don't know how it managed to score more than a 5 on IMDb, but it is so not worth it. I watched through John Travolta's Battlefield Earth, and it was more fun than this. I thank Rachel Weisz for turning it down, but I hate that Brendan Fraser signed up for it. Had he turned it down as well, maybe the script would've been rewritten. As it stands, this movie is nothing but a cash-in.