FilmStallion Reviews

Branded (2012)

Branded...0.5 out of 4 Skittles

[1/10 · 8 September 2012]

Branded should be shown at every film school across the country to aspiring screenwriters with dreams of one day writing that next great sci-fi classic as an example of what NOT to do.

The screenplay's character development is an absolute joke…not to mention the pathetic garbage in disguise as dialogue that spews out of everyone's mouth. Not sure in what world this is supposed to take place where people actually talk like these characters do. It's also funny and convenient how every plot point seems to happen at just the perfect time, like when the characters fall in love so suddenly, or bump into their boss at that oh-so-awkward moment while having sex in bumper to bumper traffic jam (a scene that would make Too Fast Too Furious proud). It's the kind of timeline cuteness and perfection that only happens in really dumb movies.

The acting is abysmal, but with written words like this it's hard to blame the talented cast. Max von Sydow (Minority Report, Shutter Island), Leelee Sobieski (Joan of Arc, Joy Ride), and Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development, The Hangover) must have needed to make a quick check, because it's hard to explain how they would get themselves tied up in this train wreck. However, lead actor Ed Stoppard (The Pianist, Joy Division) can't blame his troubles on the script. His overacting at every turn grows tiresome very quickly. Newcomer director duo Jamie Bradshaw and Aleksander Dulerayn screwed the pooch by not reigning Stoppard in.

If Branded were half as interesting as the catchy and energetic preview that first grabbed my attention then it could have been a great sci-fi pic. Sadly…it's not even close to what's advertised. Maybe that's part of the joke since false advertising and marketing brainwashing make up the film's weak theme. Branded is a major disappointment and an epic waste of time. And like most crummy commercials...it's very forgettable.

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Bachelorette (2012)

Bachelorette...2.5 out of 4 Skittles

[6/10 · 8 September 2012]

If you took the characters from Bridesmaids and stripped them of their likability, then you would have the characters from Bachelorette. Kirsten Dunst (Spider-Man, Melancholia), Lizzy Caplan (True Blood, Mean Girls) and Isla Fisher (Wedding Crashers, Confessions of a Shopaholic) play three friends who were the popular girls in high school, but are now just a pack of bitter, quarter life crisis bitches. Brought together the night before the wedding of the 4th member of their crew, (the highly underutilized Rebel Wilson), the jealous girls go on a drug fueled rampage and seem to be hell bent on destroying their so-called friend's wedding. They don't like themselves, or anyone around them…which makes it hard to like them.

That being said…the script written by newcomer director Leslye Headland is brazenly honest. Although the characters produced by Headland's script are hard to like, they are easily believable and bizarrely funny. You see these kinds of selfish, materialistic and egocentric women all the time. I guess this is just a story told from their side of things.

Another highlight of the film is the chemistry put together by Caplan & Adam Scott (The Vicious Kind, Step Brothers). These two were great together on the extremely entertaining albeit short lived show Party Down, and continue the magic on screen here as former high school sweethearts who's relationship ended badly. They kind of feel like this generations love dove team of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Hopefully the Party Down movie continues down the pipeline and gets made so we can see these two together again.

If you can make it past the anger and deep emotional scars that these kinds of girls leave on everything around them, then you will probably enjoy the harsh humor that comes Bachelorette. Dunst, Caplan, Fisher and Wilson are all funny together and deliver solid performances that help keep this tale of grown up mean girls afloat.

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The Words (2012)

The Words...3 out of 4 Skittles

[7/10 · 8 September 2012]

The Words is an engaging film, and almost feels more like a book on screen. And like a good book, it quickly reins you in and keeps entertaining until the end. The writer/director team of Brian Klugman & Lee Sternthal is miles away from their script for the forgettable Tron: Legacy. With The Words they take their time by using their catchy story within a story technique to develop their intriguing characters. The Words may not have the heft compared to other favorites for Best Original Screenplay come this Oscar season, but it is respectable feat for the writer/director duo. Bradley Cooper (The Hangover, Limitless) delivers a nice subtle performance as a struggling writer drowning in a sea of desperation. Cooper continues to hack out diverse performances that continue to show his range and win over more fans. He's proving that he is not just Hollywood's latest flavor of the week. The rest of the cast is strong, and headlined by Jeremy Irons (The Man in the Iron Mask, Being Julia) as a broken down old man surprised to see his long lost book on the best-seller list with some young punk's name attached. The Words was dumped into theaters on what is historically known as the worst weekend for movie attendance, and most likely won't garner much of an audience. The film will also have trouble living up to the competition come Oscar season, but it delivers an entertaining and appealing film on the first weekend of fall award season releases.

The Dictator (2012)

The Dictator...1 out of 4 Skittles

[2/10 · 6 September 2012]

General Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen)…the harsh dictator of the fake country of Wadiya, claims the world's worst political figures as best friends, admits that the real Bin Laden is currently living in his guest house, and has no problem calling for the execution of anyone who mildly inconveniences him. General Aladeen makes his way to America to defend himself to the United Nations about his pursuit to construct weapons of mass destruction, but ends up running for his life on the streets of New York after an attempted assassination against his life goes awry.

The premise sounds like a winner in the current political world, yet the actual product doesn't live up to the hype of Cohen's reputation. Cohen became a comedic force with his gut busting Borat in 2006 and added to his legacy with 2009's Bruno. His comedic style works best when it's natural, and those around him aren't in on the joke. The Dictator sadly comes across as the exact opposite. It felt staged, scripted, forced and worst of all it wasn't very funny.

The talented cast of Ben Kingsley and John C. Reilly are severely underused, and a pathetic attempt at a love story between the general and the kind of woman he has despised his entire life, a politically correct hippy owner of an organic world market (played by Anna Faris) only plays as weak writing.

There are a few laughs to be had, probably the biggest being the montage of the general learning how to self gratify himself intercut with footage of majestic bald eagles soaring through the air. Cohen's hilarious rendition of Dr. Dre's 'The Next Episode' with the general singing "Aladeen motherfuc%er!" will find itself on more than a few Ipod playlist.

I'm also sure a few of the movie's lines will be quoted by adolescent middle school aged boys and douchebag frat dudes alike, but for the most part The Dictator is a major dud, and a huge step back from Cohen's previous films. It left me longing for the days of Borat offending the world one rodeo at a time.

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011)

Martha Marcy May Marlene...3.5 out of 4 Skittles

[9/10 · 6 September 2012]

Martha Marcy May Marlene is hauntingly honest, showcasing a portrait inside the life of a cult and the eerie routine of how things are run. First time writer/director Sean Durkin tackles the subject on his own terms by continuously refusing to do what's expected and never attempts to appeal to all movie-goers.

Durkin's script doesn't dumb it down and spoon feed the audience every last detail. At one point it is mentioned that the cult leader only has male children, but leaves it to the audience to figure out why. A subtle trick that keeps you thinking about the framework of the minds lost inside this world.

The cast is nothing short of fantastic. Elizabeth Olsen (yes, she's the younger sister of Mary Kate & Ashley) is fearless. She leads you on a journey inside her lost mind, showing how a young woman can get so trapped in such a bizarre life. Olsen delivers an amazing performance that doesn't allow you to take your eyes of her.

John Hawkes (Me and You and Everyone We Know, Winter's Bone) is subtly frightening as the cult leader. He easily shows how a young woman looking for refuge from a painful life could get sucked into his world…from his sweet (or harsh) pep talks with the members around him, to the way he quickly changes a woman's real name after first meeting her, to the haunting song he plays on his acoustic guitar for the group titled 'Marcy's Song'. The song lyrics speak volumes of the true relationship between him and Marcy May when he sings "She's just a picture, who lives on my wall". So beautiful and creepy at the same time.

Martha Marcy May Marlene shows how great independent film can be when it's not slowed down by Hollywood studio heads that demand major stars, or box office profit predictions before they will make it. It doesn't try to be liked by everyone, and refuses to play by the rules. Martha Marcy is immensely powerful, cuts deep, and sticks with you long after the credits roll. God...I love when a film does that.

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Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2011)

Jeff, Who Lives At Home...3 out of 4 Skittles

[7/10 · 6 September 2012]

The Duplass brothers, kings of the indie film world, are back with their fifth feature film delivering on their reputation for telling strong stories with the idiotically named mumblecore camera style that has put them on the map. Jeff, Who Lives At Home, like their 2010 film Cyrus, has a much healthier budget and name stars, but still continues the natural realism and spirit of their early films The Puffy Chair and Baghead.

In Jeff, The Duplass brothers experiment with the meaning of life… is everything in life connected and happen for a reason? With a theme this heavy you might expect the film dig in deeper than their past endeavors, but the writer/director sibling team keep things light. Although Jeff feels less ambitious than Cyrus or The Puffy Chair, the guys keep the film moving forward at a fun, entertaining pace.

The strong cast seems to have a lot of fun working with the Duplass Brothers highly improvisational style. Jason Segal (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Muppets), Ed Helms (The Hangover, Cedar Rapids) & Susan Sarandon (Thelma & Louise, Dead Man Walking) truly feel like a fractured family that know too much and weirdly not enough about each other at the same time.

Jeff, Who Lives At Home may not be a huge leap forward for the Duplass Brothers, but it's a nice film opposite from most main stream movies that forget to include a story as a backbone of their special effects display. Jay and Mark Duplass will always have a purchased movie ticket from me.

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The Sitter (2011)

The Sitter...0.5 out of 4 Skittles

[1/10 · 6 September 2012]

The Sitter starring the uber-famous, used to be chubby funny man Jonah Hill as Noah, a fat unemployed slacker still living at home with his single mother (Jessica Hecht). Noah's mother guilts him into a babysitting job so she can go on a double date with the neighbors. The night of babysitting goes awry when Noah takes the kids out in their parents mini-van in search of first time sex with his new girlfriend played with usual ditsy club girl attitude by Ari Graynor. Think Adventures in Babysitting meets Superbad...without any of the humor.

The Sitter falls flat in every way. The story is generic, the jokes unfunny & the outcome of every scene is predictable. Hill is so far away from his solid recent performances in Cyrus & Moneyball, and Pineapple Express & All the Real Girls director David Gordon Green continues his slide with this directorial follow up to the early 2011 bust Your Highness. The script by new comers Gatewood & Tanaka makes you wonder how it ever got made in the first place. Even an unusual performance by the usually great Sam Rockwell can't save this sinking ship.

Any parents who may get tricked by their younger kids into thinking this could be a funny family film...think again, and take a closer look at the 'R' rating. This is not a film for the kiddies, and with the unfunny and dumb story...not one for the grown folks either.

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Young Adult (2011)

Young Adult...2.5 out of 4 Skittles

[6/10 · 6 September 2012]

LOGLINE: Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron), an alcoholic and washed up Young Adult genre ghost writer who heads out of the city into her rural Minnesota hometown with plans to steal former high school boyfriend (Patrick Wilson) away from his happy home with wife and new baby. The story is a dark comedy that rarely if ever leaves the dark side.

Audience members looking for the same cutesy smootsy dialogue found in Juno, Reitman and Cody's last team-up, will be sadly disappointed. Even with a solid performance by Theron, Cody's messy script leaves her character without any redemptive qualities, and never gives the audience a chance to rout for her. She is broken, uncaring and a grown up spoiled brat....the worst kind of spoiled brat.

'YA' eases into the story like an old man dipping into a warm bath, but finally picks up when Mavis runs into an old classmate that she doesn't remember Matt Freehauf (Patton Oswalt) at the local dive bar. Oswalt delivers a dynamite performance as the loser always looking at the in crowd from the outside. Those who saw Oswalt knock it out of the park in 2009's Big Fan won't be surprised by the performance, but those only familiar with Oswalt's scene stealing scenes in the popular comedy sitcom King of Queens are likely to be happily surprised. Oscar season should have a Best Supporting Actor nomination waiting for Oswalt.

Even strong direction from Reitman and solid performances by Theron, Oswalt, Wilson and a quietly great outing by Elizabeth Reaser as the new wife, can't save the story from derailing. The story leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth, and the sad realization that sometimes bad people never change.

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Terri (2011)

Terri...3 out of 4 Skittles

[7/10 · 6 September 2012]

Terri comes off as your typical indie film with awkward characters dealing with unique, yet realistic situations. Several times in the film it felt as if long time micro-budget indie director Azazel Jacobs, and screenwriter Patrick Dewitt were trying to be different because that what indie films are supposed to do, but their strong cast refuses to color inside the lines and let that happen.

Newcomer Wysocki brings a true sense of realism as the title character Terri. He is an awkward outsider who doesn't fit in with the "normal" crowd in high school. After a series of late tardies and his refusal to wear anything other than pajamas to school he is sent to the principal's office where Mr. Fitzgerald (Reilly) takes an interest and gives the lost kid a sense of hope.

John C. Reilly is no stranger to the indie scene with scores of roles in smaller films including recently in Cedar Rapids and Cyrus. Reilly easily blends in as an actor into any size of film no matter how large or small. He knows when to turn up the silly, or ease into the dark side. Reilly finds the perfect balance in Terri.

The supporting cast discovers ways to make their mark as well. Bridger Zadina finds laughs as Terri's deeply disturbed new friend with scores of his own problems. Olivia Crocicchia, best known for her role as Denis Leary's daughter, Katy, on the long running television hit Rescue Me, has no trouble as the nice teenage girl slipping down the wrong path. She shows great promise, and is a role or two away from finding herself on the next big thing list. It was also nice to see Creed Bratton break away from his hilariously bizarre character on The Office. It's stunning to see him in a serious role.

Terri had many chances to slip into the pit holes that bring down any hopeful indie film, but finds away to dance over the trouble. Just when the film felt like it was being indie for Indies' sake it threw a curveball…and this is one audience member who is glad that some film's still attempt to be different.

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Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows...1.5 out of 4 Skittles

[3/10 · 6 September 2012]

The sequel, like 2009's original, is average at best. Michele and Kieran Mulroney, best known for writing and directing the bizarre movie Paper Man in 2009, find a way to produce a screenplay that makes the literary legend of Sherlock Holmes boring. Heavy descriptive dialogue scenes make every conversation feel very forced, and makes you pray for the next action sequence to hurry up and come.

Unfortunately, even the action couldn't save the movie from drifting off into snooze-ville. Guy Ritchie's directing style worked well in his past films Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but comes across as very jarring here. His endless quick cuts and slow-mo action shots stripped the film of any excitement and give it an endless snail pace.

Downey Jr. and Law deliver a few laughs together, and their chemistry attempts to give this movie some semblance of entertainment value, but in the end the it has too many strikes against it for them to overcome. This movie does a disservice to the legend of Sherlock Holmes, and made me wish I would have just stayed home and read about one of his adventures in a book instead.

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Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol...2.5 out of 4 Skittles

[7/10 · 6 September 2012]

The 4th installment of the Mission Impossible franchise is a thrilling ride from the opening scene, and unlike its predecessors its story line doesn't out think itself and topple over. Although many of the action sequences could only happen in the world of Hollywood make believe, it actually felt more plausible compared to the other moronic blockbusters such as the Fast & Furious flicks or Michael Bay's Transformers crap-o-rama. I'm not sure if that is necessarily a good thing, but at least I didn't walk out of the theater feeling dumber for watching it.

Cruise vaults himself back into the role of action film king after his recent duds Valkyrie and the snooze fest Knight and Day. Jeremy Renner follows up his Academy Award nominated performances in The Hurt Locker & The Town with a strong performance and continues his rise to the top. Paula Patton in the exact opposite role from her performance as a teacher with a heart of gold in Precious is a steamy, kick ass bombshell, and Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead & Hot Fuzz) delivers his usual dry wit laughs without taking it over the top.

I wouldn't place MI:4 at the top of my greatest movies list for the year, but it does exactly what is sets out to do. It's intense, high energy and very entertaining. Anyone who enjoyed the past Mission Impossible movies should definitely get a kick out of Ethan Hunt's latest antics, and those of you dragged to this one kicking and screaming may be pleasantly surprised.

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Hugo (2011)

Hugo...3 out of 4 Skittles

[8/10 · 6 September 2012]

LOGLINE: Set in 1930's Paris, a young orphan who lives in the walls of a train station and works maintaining the public clocks within. After an accident kills his father (a short and memorable performance by Jude Law), Hugo works to finish rebuilding an automoton found by his father believing that a mysterious message will be released to him once it is complete.

Hugo is breathtaking, but not because of the over-hyped 3D. Although the 3D is a step above the scores of other movies released in the recent 3D boom, it doesn't rely on the technique to wow the audience. Hugo relies more on heart from John Logan's amazing script and Martin Scorsese's direction rather than on the thrills to be found wearing your cheesy 3D glasses.

Scorcese directing a kids movie seems like a weird move, but the master of telling intense crime dramas handles this challenge with ease. Hugo is not your usual children's tale. In fact, I'm not sure I would even label it as a children's movie. The story may go over the head of the kiddies used to seeing dumbed down garbage such as Alvin in the Chipmunks or Adam Sandler's Jack and Jill. The story line runs parallel to a time when movies were truly a magical escape, and gave the audience a live look into what dreams must look like. With Scorcese behind the wheel, Hugo delivers the same excitement as the first movies ever made.

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Like Crazy (2011)

Like Crazy...3.5 out of 4 Skittles

[9/10 · 6 September 2012]

Like Crazy was the toast of the 2011 Sundance Film Festival walking away with the Grand Jury Prize for best film, and deservedly so. The film opens with Jacob (Anton Yelchin) meeting Anna (Felicity Jones) in class of their L.A. area college. Anna nervously leaves a cute love note on Jacob's car windshield wiper, the two go on a date, and the sparks fly. After graduation, immigration issues for Anna result in the forced separation of the two love birds and proceed to show the couple fight to stay together over the next several years.

Like Crazy is a new love story for the ages. Yelchin & Jones deliver incredible chemistry together as we follow them on their first date. The scenes are so real it feels more like a documentary than a live action scripted film. A chemistry found in the days of Woody Allen & Diane Keaton in Annie Hall, or more recently with Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Zooey Deschanel in 2009's underrated 500 Days of Summer.

As the story progresses over the years, the two fight for the survival of their love, and the film fights any sense of the normal Hollywood formula to become something more real. Just when you expect the story to follow the path we are used to seeing in the mass graveyard that is the Rom-Com, it swings away proving that life and especially love are unpredictable.

Kudos to director Drake Doremus, and actors Yelchin, Jones and a small, yet stinging performance by Academy Award nominee Jennifer Lawrence. They could have easily made another romantic film made for fantasy land, but instead took the harder path and made something real. Like Crazy is a small movie with a small budget, and may fall under the Oscar radar, but hopefully indie film lovers and those looking for something outside the holiday blockbuster landscape will find this small beautifully made gem.

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The Descendants (2011)

The Descendants...4 out of 4 Skittles

[10/10 · 6 September 2012]

The Descendants thrusts us into the life of Matt King (George Clooney), a lawyer and inherited land baron living in Hawaii who must take over the care of his two young daughters after a boating accident leaves his wife in a coma. Matt, the so-called 'back up parent' struggles with his new solo parent duties as he deals with the forced sell of a large area of pristine and unspoiled land passed down to him from several family generations.

Alexander Payne is a proved master in telling realistic human stories that showcase superb drama and subtle comedy that never seem to miss a beat as seen in his past films Sideways and About Schmidt. The Descendants is no different. The film has a way of making you laugh, then tear up within seconds.

Clooney is a stand out as Matt King revealing hints of overwhelming sadness, but hiding it from his daughters (Woodley & Amara Miller). Woodley, best known for her role on TV's The Secret Life of the American Teenager is a revelation as the wild daughter sent away to private school for drugs. Amara Miller steals several scenes as the youngest daughter Scottie, who finds acting out and text bullying an over weight girl at school as the best way to deal with her mother's condition.

Nick Krause, Robert Forster, Matthew Lillard, Beau Bridges & Judy Greer all deliver knock out punches in the tiniest spaces. The Descendants is pitch perfect and should find itself among the Best Picture race this coming Oscar season.

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Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

Snow White and the Huntsman...3 out of 4 Skittles

[7/10 · 6 September 2012]

Let's put the story straight...this telling of Snow White is not a bubbly live action version of the popular Disney animated movie we all grew up watching and warping our young little minds. This is the dark story that was intended to be told by The Brothers Grimm in 1812 and send chills down our spine.

It's not that the younger audience won't enjoy this film. If they are okay with the type of violence found in any of the Twilight or Transformers movies then they will be perfectly as ease with this version. First time director Rupert Sanders finds the perfect dark balance to entertain the entire audience spectrum. This type of formula could have easily ended in disaster, but Sanders finds a way to pull it off with great satisfaction.

The special effects are outstanding, especially in the magical woods scenes where a toxic fume released from strange plants cause Snow White to trip balls, and the troll living under the bridge and tiny flying pixies can't help but remind me of the creatures from Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth.

The big time cast is strong. Kristen Stewart (Twilight, Adventureland) is her usual self...constantly brushing her long beautiful hair out of her face while giving off dead pan stares with her made for the big screen eyes, but also gets to showcase a brute force not often seen in the characters she normally plays, as she charges into battle with her army against the queen. Chris Hemsworth doesn't wander too far from his Thor persona, but tones it down in the right spots (something he often fails to do with his Marvel comic character). But certainly best of all is Chalize Theron who is delectably evil as the Wicked Queen. Theron has proved she can play all types of roles, but has found a niche lately (Young Adult & Prometheus) playing the biatch we all love to hate.

Snow White and the Huntsman surprisingly kicks ass as an action flick. The kind of action that you would expect from a movie released during the summer blockbuster season, but with a constructive and entertaining story that some of the big films forget to include when showing off their expensive special effects (I'm looking at you Battleship). I say cheers to this version of Snow White, and would be interested in seeing more fairy tales brought to life the way they were truly intended...dark and ferocious.

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Men in Black³ (2012)

Men In Black 3...2.5 out of 4 Skittles

[6/10 · 6 September 2012]

The third installment brings the original cast (Smith & Jones) and director (Sonnenfeld) back together for one more romp of alien fun, and delivers exactly what is expected. If you are a fan of the MIB franchise, then you will probably enjoy this one. If you aren't a fan...then you might want to sit this one out.

Was a third installment of this highly profitable film necessary? The answer is easily no. Completing the Men In Black trilogy doesn't feel very epic, but what it does do is send the franchise out on a solid note. It's obvious that Hollywood is cashing in its chips by making this movie in the first place, but at least it delivers a somewhat entertaining film for a couple of hours and provides an escape from the real world that most movie viewers are looking for in a popcorn flick.

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones provide the normal banter they have developed throughout the franchise, and Josh Brolin (True Grit, W.) has good fun playing the spot on younger version of Agent K. Even Emma Thompson (I am Legend, Love Actually) gets in on the fun delivering a funeral eulogy in a high-pitched squeal alien language.

I was pleasantly surprised by MIB 3's unexpectedly touching ending. It was the perfect way for this story to go out. Hopefully the franchise will resist the urge to ante up again, and walk away on top with their pockets full of chips.

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Dark Shadows (2012)

Dark Shadows...1.5 out of 4 Skittles

[3/10 · 6 September 2012]

LOGLINE: In the 1770's the wealthy Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) is cursed to spend eternity as a vampire by his lovesick servant and secret witch, Angelique (Eva Green). Upon discovery of his new affliction Collins is buried alive by the townspeople, and spends nearly two centuries underground until he is accidentally dug up by the construction crew building a new restaurant called McDonald's. Collins discovers times have changed as his family heirs are struggling to get by and the witch is now the most powerful and popular woman in town.

Yes…this is the actual premise that some Hollywood jerkoff thought would be a great movie to throw millions of dollars at to get made. Dark Shadows, based on the marginal late 60's/early 70's Gothic soap opera, is basically the story of what happens to a 18th century vampire who wakes up in the 1970's after a 200-year sleep. Jokes about all things the 70's decade had to offer are constantly thrown at the audience and the gag runs thin…very quickly.

The all-star cast struggles to find their footing, and the story plot is underdeveloped and pushed to the side to make way for the generic jokes that don't stick. Tim Burton seems to phone this one in. Burton's directorial detail and effort of his past classics such as Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands are nowhere to be found in this one, but I guess that should be expected from a guy who made boring movies out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Alice in Wonderland.

Dark Shadows is a misfire and a perfect example of how confused Hollywood currently is. When the mass audience already has a bloated belly full of vampire stories why trot out another movie that strips the genre of its essence and excitement? Maybe this will be the holy water or silver dagger that will be shanked through the heart of the current vampire trend and put us out of our misery. One can only hope.

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Win Win (2011)

Win Win...3 out of 4 Skittles

[7/10 · 6 September 2012]

Win Win is the third film from talented writer/director Thomas McCarthy, and like his past indie gems The Visitor & The Station Agent he finds a way to bring out an unexpected humor from the scenes in unique ways. Although his third film isn't necessarily a step up from his past endeavors, it's obvious McCarthy knows how to tell a good story.

Win Win is blessed with a talented cast, and although there isn't any major stretches or performances to be blown away by, it's a talented cast from top to bottom who are very comfortable bringing these characters to life. Paul Giamatti (Sideways, American Splendor) showcases his usual mastery of the lovable loser schlub that most real people can relate to. Amy Ryan, playing the Jersey wife and protective mother with a love of Jon Bon Jovi, continues to show off her acting range from her role as Michael Scott's soul mate Holly on The Office, to her tour de force Academy Award nominated role in 2007's Gone Baby Gone.

Newcomer Alex Shaffer displays a subtle maturity as a teenager hiding the pain from a neglectful childhood. Burt Young, best know for his role as Paulie in the Rocky movies, is terrific as Leo, an aging man dealing with the early stages of dementia. He says so much with just the smallest grin across his face.

Melanie Lynskey, probably best known as the crazy neighbor Rose on the popular sitcom Two and a Half Men, playing the greedy daughter and washed up, absentee mother continues to find ways to shine with the smallest of character parts. From her bit roles in Up in the Air, The Informant & Away We Go…it's only a matter of time before she gets her shot at some starring roles.

Although Win Win isn't as deep as McCarthy's past films, and didn't leave a lasting impression and keep me thinking about the movie long after the credits rolled, it found a way to accomplish something most films don't. It tells an entertaining, realistic, believable story…and I'm okay with that.

For more quick reviews check out www.FilmStallion.com

Hesher (2010)

Hesher...3 out of 4 Skittles

[8/10 · 6 September 2012]

Hesher thrusts you into a world of sadness…a grieving family, an emotion drained father, a lost & lonely son, and a dying grandmother doing everything she can to help her family stay afloat. First time writer/director Spencer Susser shows how comedy can be found in the most unlikely places, and takes several unexpected chances with his daring script.

With a premise as dark as this you wouldn't expect Hesherto be funny, but that's exactly what it is. Levitt (500 Days of Summer, Inception) is hilarious as the title character, a man who wouldn't know tact if it poured gasoline over his rust box van and set it on fire. (Hesher has an affinity for setting things on fire)Hesher pulls no punches, and finds insane laughs in the darkest of spaces. And although the film is not a straight forward comedy I would rank it as one of the funniest of the year.

The 2nd half of the film slows a bit when it actually has to face up and deal with the family issues it has laid out, but strong writing by Susser and acting by the young phenom Devin Brochu and superbly sad Rainn Wilson (playing the exact opposite of his cocky & confident Dwight Schrute character from The Office) keep it on track. Natalie (Not as great as Black Swan, but not as bad as Thor) Portman finds a way to ring true as a woman with suicidal thoughts while barely making ends meet as a grocery store cashier. She becomes the young boy's unlikely new friend after she saves him from a butt kicking from a school bully in her store's parking lot. Portman also deserves props for serving as a producer on the film and helping to get it made.

Hesher is a wild bizarre ride that is best pulled off as a low budget dark comedy indie. The film slipped away a bit from pure greatness by laying on the sentimental a bit too hard near the end, but still completed a satisfying result. Hesher is crude, rude, dark and nasty…which is exactly what makes it so good.

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The Avengers (2012)

Avengers...3 out of 4 Skittles

[7/10 · 6 September 2012]

You can sum up Avengers in one word…FUN. Some of the world's greatest comic book characters all together in one movie, kicking ass to save us puny humans…who wouldn't want to see that? And as great as it is to see the Avengers come together to save the world, some of the most fun is had when they butt heads and pound on each other just like in the comics. Iron Man vs. Thor, Thor vs. Hulk, Iron Man vs. Captain America….great stuff.

Director Joss Whedon does a solid job showcasing all the Avengers without forcing too much story into one movie. Rounding out the individual superhero movies that have been leading up to this was no easy challenge. From Jon Favereau's good Iron Man movies, to the marginal Captain America, and the abysmal Thor pic. Whedon molds the good and bad that he had to work with from the past stories and made an entertaining film.

I'm not so sure I would crown The Avengers as the top comic book movie of all time (which is currently still The Dark Knight in my mind), but it was a blast seeing all the Marvel characters finally uniting in the same movie. I can only hope that all the movies this blockbuster season are this much fun.

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Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

Moonrise Kingdom...3.5 out of 4 Skittles

[9/10 · 6 September 2012]

Moonrise Kingdom is easily described in short as a Wes Anderson film. There aren't too many directors in the world where you can simply state their name, and it quickly conjures up the style of film before you even see it, but Anderson is one of the rare few. With his usual weird quirkiness, hilariously bizarre dialog, and offbeat characters Anderson delivers on his reputation as past classics Rushmore, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and The Royal Tenenbaums.

Moonrise Kingdom feels like the next chapter in the Wes Anderson life work that he continues to build. His script penned with continued partner Roman Coppola delivers the kind of laughs that run deep and social themes that make the viewer reflect on themselves and their lost childhood.

The film's young love story is excellently cast with newcomers Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward in the lead spots. The teen actors easily capture the insanity that goes along with feeling true love at an age when awkwardness and unknowing stupidity fill our minds.

The rest of the cast is brilliantly filled in with some of Anderson's usual suspects Bill Murray & Jason Schwartzman along with industry titans Frances McDormand, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton and Tilda Swinton. As always the cast blends in perfectly to showcase life that can only be found inside Anderson's world.

Whether you love or hate Wes Anderson's films, he continues to make his mark on the current cinematic scene, and Moonrise Kingdom is no different. Some viewers feel Anderson is one of the only current filmmakers that can be considered a true artist and won't be truly appreciated in his own time…others simply think he's a hack. I for one am glad to be invited into Anderson's world, and am thankful to be a part of the journeys he continues to deliver.

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Prometheus (I) (2012)

Prometheus...3.5 out of 4 Skittles

[8/10 · 6 September 2012]

For those of you who don't already know…Prometheus is a prequel to the 1979 legendary sci-fi classic Alien. Ridley Scott is back at the directing helm and easily shows why he is the master touting his routs as a game changer of the genre with the original Alien and 1982's Bladerunner.

Prometheus contains everything a fan of the original would expect from the latest installment…it's violent, scary, action packed, disgustingly gory, weirdly hilarious, and features kick-ass special effects…something the earlier version can't compete with. The result has you leaving the theater knowing you just watched a badass movie, and provides a satisfying and extremely entertaining result that most Alien fans should be happy with (except the uber cynical ones that can't be pleased no matter what).

The script by Jon Saihts and Damon Lindelof (Cowboys & Aliens and TV's Lost) sets up the alley oop slamdunk for Scott. Even if you haven't seen any of the previous Alien movies this flick easily stands on its own and will entertain story novices. I mean sure…there a few plot points that feel slightly forced into the story line, and some moments that may take you out of the reality of the situation…like how was Noomi Rapace's character running and jumping after (without spoiling any of the gory details) an intense stomach surgery. But in the end the script and Scott's spot on direction keep the story moving forward at a thrill rushing pace.

The cast is exceptionally fun from Noomi Rapace, the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, becoming the film's new Sigourney Weaver-esque heroine, to the excellent Michael Fassbender (Inglorious Bastards,Shame), who plays the not quite human role to a tee, to Charlize Theron (Monster, Young Adult) who steals every scene playing the stone cold bitch Meredith Vickers. And huge props go out to cast members Idris Alba, Rafe Spall and Kate Dickie who fill out the spirited crew members and bring the human element to an alien story.

I'll admit I've been extremely excited to see Prometheus since I first saw the heart pounding preview trailer last December, and that I walked into the film with very high hopes that made it hard to live up to the hype. That being said, I still left feeling I just watched a kick ass movie, and am strangely happy that Ridley Scott brought my childhood nightmare back to life for another scare.

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That's My Boy (2012)

That's My Boy...1 out of 4 Skittles

[2/10 · 6 September 2012]

Adam Sandler is back at wasting the time and money of movie viewers once again. It seems like Sandler follows a simple formula…he comes up with a funny voice and attempts to make a movie out of it. He's done it before with The Waterboy & Little Nicky, and sadly, I'm sure he will do it again. It's obvious Sandler enjoys making movies that immature guys will find funny, and he doesn't seem to be looking to change. And why should he…people keep paying money to see his Happy Madison productions.

But the honesty of the situation is this…his latest film installment, like most of his recent flicks (Jack and Jill, Just Go With It, You Don't Mess With The Zohan, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Click…shall I keep going?) absolutely stinks. Actually, saying it stinks is letting That's My Boy off the hook way to easy. It's abysmal. It's a nearly 2 hour movie the feels like it lasts 4. From the moronic casting of people who can't act (Vanilla Ice, Ciara & New York Jets football coach Rex Ryan), to the jokes so forced they seem to be written by a panel of fart and puke loving 12-year-olds, to Sandler's stupid Boston accent that loses any sign of amusement within the first 10 minutes of screen time.

It's sad to see Sandler refuse to grow as an actor, especially since he has shown glimpses of what he can accomplish with the right project (Punch Drunk Love, Funny People). That's My Boy is what is…a very dumb, rarely funny comedy (if you can classify it as a comedy). I suppose those who have enjoyed his other stink bombs might get a kick out of this one too, but if you're on the opposite spectrum of comedy films like me and enjoy believable stories that seem to be grounded on this planet, do yourself a favor and see Safety Not Guaranteed or Searching For a Friend for the End of the World instead. You'll be much happier that you did.

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Ted (2012)

Ted...3 out of 4 Skittles

[7/10 · 6 September 2012]

First things first...the concept of Ted is completely ridiculous. That being said...Ted is also completely hilarious. Writer/Director/Actor Seth MacFarlane, best know as the creative force behind the TV animated hits Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show, brings the same kind of humor to his feature film debut. Jokes that offend everyone from all walks of life and expected and delivered.

Although Ted is a walking talking teddy bear, MacFarlane's script keeps the story grounded in the real world, which actually makes it more realistic and believable then the recent comedy duds That's My Boy and The Dictator.

Mark Walhberg (The Fighter, Boogie Nights) and Mila Kunis (Black Swan, Friends With Benefits) form a strong basis for MacFarlane to bring the cuddly little Peter Griffin'esche title character to life. And major props have to go to Giovanni Ribisi playing the awesomely creepy stalker who plots to steal Ted away for his own son. His gut-busting scene where he sexually dances by himself in front of his TV to a 1980's Debbie Gibson music video while drinking apple juice through a straw is one of the funniest in recent memory.

Parents beware...if for some reason you think this would be a funny movie to bring the kids to...think again. Ted curses like a sailor, smokes pot and bangs hookers. If this seems like a movie you want to enjoy with your children then the Parent of the Year award went out the window for you a long time ago. If you don't let your kids watch Family Guy, then you won't want them to see Ted.

If anyone could make a funny movie out of a teddy bear that has come to life, I'm glad it was MacFarlane who attempted, and not someone at the Disney cheese factory. Now that he has a taste at feature films it's excited to see what he will come up with next.

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The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

The Amazing Spider-Man...2.5 out of 4 Skittles

[6/10 · 6 September 2012]

The Spider-Man franchise is launched again, only five years after Sam Raimi wrapped up his highly successful trilogy. After watching the latest installment it makes you wonder why.

Other than the obvious reason of making more money, the latest installment brings nothing new to the table that the Raimi versions didn't. So the reboot starts up with Peter Parker in high school and Uncle Ben is still alive…big whup. The writing is cheesier and the special effects seem virtually the same.

Director Marc Webb, who worked his magic in the 2009 indie hit (500) Days of Summer, missed his chance of leaving a lasting impression as Raimi did. Raimi gave us iconic scenes like a car flying through a coffee shop window in slow-mo, and the infamous upside down first kiss between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. Webb gives us a montage of Peter Parker learning more about his new Spidey powers whilst skateboarding to a Coldplay soundtrack (this is no joke), and the most awkward first kiss since Harry Potter hooked up with Ginny Weasley.

The trio of big time writers, James Vanderbilt (Zodiac, The Losers), Alvin Sargent (Spider-Man 2 & 3), and Steve Kloves (All the Harry Potter movies), show that too many chefs in the kitchen can sometimes only leave a big mess. Andrew Garfield (The Social Network, Never Let Me Go) and Emma Stone (The Help, Zombieland) make a valiant attempt at bringing the lead characters to life, but the pathetic script leaves them coming off like the B-version of the chemistry put together by Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow in Iron Man. The actors also seem to be out of place in high school. Buying Garfield (28 years-old) & Stone (24) as high school kids requires a large commitment from anyone with a brain. Maybe the people who cast the original 90210 series had their hands in this one too.

If you don't compare The Amazing Spider-Man to Raimi's trilogy you can probably find enough positives to enjoy it and find it somewhat entertaining. But for the most part the latest Spidey flick is just another example of Hollywood forcing out another big budget stinker that they know they can make a quick buck from. I would rather see a comic book reboot for characters that need it. Can someone please do justice for The Fantastic Four? For more quick reviews check out www.FilmStallion.com