casarino Reviews

Gone by Dawn (2016)

Revenge at the Strip Club

[7/10 · 24 June 2023]

I'm probably giving this movie two stars too many, but what the hell - I admire how hard it tries, how much it does with its tiny budget, and how it gets some genuinely convincing performances from its cast.

The plot - a super-sleazy strip club owner and his asshole buddy rape a young, innocent stripper. Said stripper and her two friends vow revenge. And...well, that's about it.

It's not great. The screenplay could have gone through a few more drafts, and the direction is often slack. But at times it really comes alive, way more so than you'd expect. The stripping & lapdance scenes (there are many) are always convincing but never erotic - you always feel like you're watching women at work, doing their thing, going through the motions until they can go home. And the scene of sexual assault is genuinely disturbing, as are some of the "revenge" details.

The acting ranges from "hey, the director's buddy is doing his best" to genuinely solid, especially from the three leading women, who *really* work hard to sell some of this dialogue. They actually create characters - even when backstories are only discussed in vague cliches, you can really feel the life behind them. These are good genre actresses who aren't afraid to get dirty - or weird. And if Gone by Dawn feels padded (and it does), hey, it has a great sense of place - not just the sleazy strip club, the the freezing-cold, semi-barren Wisconsin setting. There's always something to look at while you're waiting for the plot to move along.

So again - it's not great, but it does what it does. If you're up for a sleazy but genuinely involving little crime flick with lots of nudity, some nasty violence, and a gratuitous twist or two, you could do way worse.

Dynamite Chicken (1971)

A Trippy, Weird, Funky, Funny, and Naive Relic of Indie Cinema

[8/10 · 23 June 2023]

Dynamite Chicken is a true underground classic, a pastiche of skits, poetry, film clips, documentaries, naked ladies, and Richard Pryor's charming improvisations. But what strikes me the most is how naive it really is.

Dynamite Chicken is bending over backwards to be dangerous, edgy, hip, new. It throws clips at you at a dizzying pace. It celebrates porn, dark humor, feminism (kinda), nudity (definitely), and free speech. It's not linear - you really have to turn off your brain to watch it, or (ideally) turn it on with various illicit substances. Otherwise, it quickly becomes tedious and frustrating - until Pryor shows up again, with another fun, accessible bit to keep the whole thing grounded.

It's it revolutionary? No. It thinks it is, though, and that's part of its charm, especially when viewed through post-2020 eyes. It feels less like the work of the Yippies (though Paul Krassner is a key figure here) and more like a 10-year-old trying to make sense of the Penthouse magazine he just discovered. It's dirty and curious, but never reaches the dark, heady acid-trip it wants to be.

But that's okay. It's still fun, if you're in the mood for it. And it was assembled with some skill - all the gimmicky underground techniques are employed here with significant skill. The comic bits don't always work, but they're so eager to please you want to pat them on the head anyway. And there's always Pryor, delighting us with his insights, his stoned riffing, his accessible whimsy. Every time you're ready to quit 'Dynamite Chicken,' he pops in and reminds you why you're here.

Don't Look Up (2021)

I'm the target audience, and I hated it

[1/10 · 21 June 2022]

I'm deeply sympathetic to McKay's cause - I absolutely believe climate change could be catastrophic, and I hate that weird partisan divisions are leaving us essentially unwilling to do anything about it.

So why do I hate Don't Look Up so much?

Maybe it's because McKay's brand of satire is smug and smarmy, firing weak shots at easy targets and missing them all. Maybe it's because he frames his "good" characters screaming their messages directly into the camera, insulting the intelligence of even the dimmest viewer. Maybe it's because his take on those who don't take climate change seriously is incredibly superficial, trite, and downright weird.

But I think it's ultimately because his movie is lazy and poorly written. Tone-wise, Don't Look Up is all over the map; it tries to incorporate Dr. Strangelove-esque satire, dude-bro quips, vague social media pastiches, and even heartfelt drama, and it just falls flat everywhere. The cast is solid but they can't overcome McKay's script - only Jonah Hill scores, and he's just riffing on a character he's played a dozen times. Everyone else is at sea, with the three major female characters (played by Jennifer Lawrence, Cate Blanchett, and Meryl Streep) especially underwritten. And the movie is so poorly edited that major plot points are barely noted (you could easily Streep's sex scandal) while inconsequential scenes are weirdly interminable.

McKay could easily have trimmed 30 minutes from the movie, but I'm not sure it would have helped. Don't Look Up feels like a rough draft full of half-baked ideas and easy potshots that just don't belong together. It's a giant waste of potential. I'd love to see a Network-style movie about climate change that really sticks it to the politicians and media outlets, but this ain't it.

America's Book of Secrets (2012–2021)

Wow, is this awful.

[1/10 · 24 June 2021]

I've managed to sit through three episodes of this nonsense. It's one of the dumbest shows I've ever seen - something that never should have seen airtime.

To call the narrative "speculative" is a massive understatement. Every "statement" is simply a "could this be true?" question. Every "expert" is either a conspiracy-minded hack or sometime who's words have clearly been super of context to make them saying in on the narrative.

The show is bad. It's amateur hour. It's not even a good guilty pleasure - episodes about Bigfoot, UFOs, and threats to the presidency aren't even novel or entertaining. Skip this one.

Hangar 1: The UFO Files (2014–2015)

Awful

[1/10 · 23 May 2021]

This "documentary series" is so poorly acted and scripted it will turn a believer into a skeptic.

And by scripted, I mean all the talking-head speeches, all the "recordings," and all the reenactments -sound like they were written by dull 9-year-olds and sacred by people who don't seem in touch with human emotions.

And don't get me started on the "special effects."

Morgan Stewart's Coming Home (1987)

A Charming Disaster.

[6/10 · 27 September 2018]

There is a really sweet, gently funny teen comedy buried Morgan Stewart's Coming Home. But it all falls apart when it becomes kind of a weird political thriller. It's little surprise the director successfully petitioned to have his name replaced with Alan Smithee.

It's got a great hook - nerdy but rebellious kid who keys getting kicked out of boarding schools goes home so he and his parents can appear to be a loving family, as his dad is a politician. It's got good casting, great chemistry between Cryer and Viveka Davis, and some fun, offbeat writing (Davis' parents are horror movie buffs). And there's nice conflict as Cryer tries to convince his stuffy, overbearing mother to allow him to fly his freak flag while they try to get him to straighten up and fly right.

So what do they do? They scuttle this movie by throwing in an espionage thriller bit, adding dumb violence and even dumber plotting (if you are surprised by the revelation of the bad guy, hey, welcome to your first movie). It's a lazy, unnecessary way to resolve things.

It's not like this was a perfect movie to begin with, but Cryer makes Stewart equally geeky and rebellious - an interesting take on the Matthew Broderick WarGames character. The script does him few favors, but Cryer somehow make it work. Davis has less to work with - she's a Manic Picture Dream Girl, essentially - but she gives Emily a fearless enthusiasm that's hard to resist. And Redgrave is excellent, and funny, as Morgan's cold, calculating mother.

But man, does the movie turn dumb. Oh, well.

Weirdly enough, if you told me this movie was directed by the same Alan Smithee who have us the similarly troubled The Shrimp in the Barbie, I'd believe you. Same kind of movie.

Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

Life at Last!

[10/10 · 8 January 2016]

When Brian DePalma shot "Phantom of the Paradise," the name of Swan's(Paul Williams) record label was "Swan Song." Signs with the record label name were everywhere, as much of the action takes place in Swan's theater, production office, and lair.

Unfortunately, "Swan Song" was already in use - they were Led Zeppelin's label, among other bands. And thanks to an unfortunate coincidence between an event in the movie and the sad, shocking real-life death of Les Harvey, who had ties to Swan Song, the owner of the "real" label promised to sue the pants off Brian DePalma and the studio if they didn't change it.

Problem is, Phantom of the Paradise was already in the can at this point, and in 1974, it was nearly impossible - and way too costly - to fix the signs in some moving shots. So any shot with "Swan Song" in it had to be carefully edited out, ruining several long tracking shots by DePalma.

I bring this up because the only real flaw of Phantom of the Paradise, a goofy, strange, funny, satiric, unsettling, all-around wonderful midnight movie is the omission of these long, gorgeous shots, shots that remind you that DePalma is a visual artist who took this material very seriously. Fortunately, that's the only way stuff like this could possibly work. The story itself is a complex merger of Phantom of the Opera, Faust, and Picture of Dorian Gray, with several other threads, twists, and homages thrown in for good measure, and it works because it has so much heart. Nobody ever winks to the audience, even when things get incredibly weird.

This aesthetic can be seen in the wonderful, juicy lead performances that flirt with the top but never climb over. William Finley, as the hapless Winslow Leach, blends theatrical flourishes with operatic emotion to create an unforgettable Phantom. We're with him, all the way, even when he does some fairly unpleasant things. Paul Williams gives a "delicious" performance as Swan, the evil Phil Spector-like impresario - watch how he turns the tide on the Phantom in their first scene together, mesmerizing his attacker with the promise of employment (and a healthy assortment of drugs). Jessica Harper plays it completely straight as Phoenix, as she must - any unnecessary flourishes would have broken the spell. But best of all is Gerrit Graham, stealing every scene (as he would later in Used Cars) as Beef, the flaming, paranoid, diva-in-the-making, hand-picked by Swan to sing Winslow's music just to irritate him.

No need to say another word about the plot. Sure, there are moments that could have been tweaked a bit - a revelation about Swan, based on an old photograph, would have a stronger impact if it opened the movie, rather than showing up in the third act. But the point is it HAS a plot, and a point. It's stunning, how thoroughly DePalma has seen this nonsense through, finding a line to the end that satisfies the romantic, operatic, classic horror movie, and even satiric setups. You'll want to stand up and cheer at the end.

Then there's the music. If you only know Paul Williams for his emotional ballads - "Rainy Days and Mondays," "The Rainbow Connection," "I Won't Last a Day Without You" - you'll be surprised by the range he shows here. Sure, there are his trademark ballads, like the maybe-too-slow "Old Souls" and the song that first captures Swan's attention, the stunning "Faust." But there are also satirical throwbacks ("Goodbye, Eddie, Goodbye," "Upholstery"), glam rockers ("Somebody Super Like You, Life at Last"), even country-rock ("Special to Me"), and they all matter. This isn't a characters- burst-into-song-and-dance kind of musical - the numbers are naturally woven into the story, into stage shows and auditions, into the heads of characters. But the music is crucial to the success of the film, and Williams nails it. The songs aren't quite as fun on their own, but it's still a kick to play the soundtrack and remember the scenes.

"Rocky Horror" gets all the rock n' roll midnight-movie love. But great as "Rocky" is, "Phantom of the Paradise" is its superior in every way; it's funnier, more satisfying, a lot more moving. If you haven't seen it, get yourself a copy, wait until midnight, and fire away.

Postal (2007)

Well...it tries.

[2/10 · 18 January 2015]

I don't think I've ever seen a movie more desperate to slaughter sacred cows than "Postal." I wish that were enough to recommend it.

Unfortunately, while there are a few good performances (Zack Ward is game, and Dave Foley survives by pretending he's in a different movie), it's disheartening and flat-out depressing to watch director Uwe Boll botch shot after shot with poorly-timed punchlines, bizarre editing, and an apparent lack of understanding of what humor even is.

I wanted to like "Postal." This is Boll's shot at a Grand Guignol satire of everything he can think of, including terrorism, gun culture, rednecks, women, hippies, religion, cops, himself, and, of course, "political correctness." But the tone is too sunny and disposable to be "dark" - even though death and mayhem are everywhere, there's never a sense that anything's at stake. The jokes, such as they are, work better in theory than in execution, but even in theory they're mostly lazy and predictable (the idea that Bin Laden is hiding out in the USA and is BFF's with GWB is as clever as things get). It even fails to be subversive - even the "OMG they went there!" jokes are less offensive than annoying. You want to swat them like flies. And some scenes - like the job interview bit - are simply weird. They want to be satiric, I suppose, but their only target seems to be coherence and the filmmakers' familiarity with human behavior.

The fault likes with Boll, who as director & co-writer demonstrates a Tommy Wiseau-like grasp of timing. Pointless bits of "comedy" (like the unemployment office carnage scene) carry on long after we've gotten the predictable joke. I enjoyed Chris Spencer's determination to improvise his way to a laugh (no dice, but he tried), and Troyer is heroically self-deprecating, so there's that. I even laughed out loud once, around the 40-minute mark, when our hero discovered an ingenious way to scale a fence - it was the first (and only) unexpected gag. But my joy was quickly demolished by the wretched performance of Chris Coppola, who counters Foley's insouciance by hysterically stomping any potential laughs deep into the ground. Coppola's idiotic overacting might have worked in a Lloyd Kaufman movie, but here it just serves to remind us that this is a live- action cartoon, and a bad one at that.

Look, I'm a guy who loves inappropriate humor and the Tromiest of the Troma movies. And to his credit, Boll clearly enjoyed dreaming up ways to offend as many sensibilities as he could ("Vat kin ve do next? Ah, vat if ve killt all za children, ja?"), so there's that. His movie is definitely better than those unwatchable Friedberg-Seltzer piles of nonsense. Some bits might even earn a chuckle if they weren't so desperately thrown in your face (I hope Verne Troyer and JK Simmons made a looootta money). But while he has vision, and can apparently stretch a dollar - some of the set pieces are well-done - Boll just has no clue how to direct a scene, tell a story, or deliver a punchline. How sad that a movie so eager to please and offend is incapable of either.

And yes, Uwe, I'll meet you in the ring, if we must. But I'd rather discuss "Airplane!" over beer and schnitzel.

Taking Woodstock (2009)

Charming and lovely, even if it's fiction.

[8/10 · 16 May 2014]

I understand "Taking Woodstock" uses a highly disputed account of Woodstock as its source material, but I'm okay with that. It's still a winsome, fun, gentle, and often lovely portrait of odd people who don't quite know what to make of each other, but still find a way to create an idyllic experience.

There are a lot of bits and pieces in "Taking Woodstock," and the structure is loose and almost episodic. Some broad comedy coexists uneasily with smaller, satirical scenes and moments of quiet drama, and Demetri Martin, while always watchable, doesn't always let us in when we need him to. But there's a certain tension in the movie as events ramp up to the inevitable, and the huge cast of unpredictable characters keeps things lively. And then we realize that the movie isn't about events as much as it's about change - both the cultural change of a very strange time in American history and the personal change that we all go through.

The best scene happens late in the movie, as Elliot (Martin) finally makes his way to the concert and encounters a young hippie couple. Without giving anything away, I can say it's one of the best - and most accurate - scenes of its kind (it's both beautiful and creepy in more ways that one), and it's the true climax of "Taking Woodstock." Elliot has spent his young life trying to create moments for other people, and he finally is allowed to let go and experience transcendence for himself. And there's a definite sense he will never be the same.

Don't expect a movie about Hendrix and Santana (or even Sha Na Na). Don't expect a wild comedy or a heavy drama. Don't expect anything, really, and you might have a great time with "Taking Woodstock." And in a way, that's kind of the point of the movie.

Yes, Your Tide Is Cold and Dark, Sir (2013)

More Mysterious and Beautiful Than You Think

[9/10 · 27 April 2013]

There's a mystery at the core of Chris Malinowski's "Yes, Your Tide is Cold and Dark, Sir," but it's not the one you think.

Certainly the premise - a man returns to his beach-town home, where his father and three kids, all guitar students, have gone missing - is filled with mystery. But Cliff (Malinowski) isn't all that interested in solving the riddle – he's curiously detached from the sensational news surrounding his father. But the questions and mysteries linger, and when one of the missing kids turns up, the town wants answers – and they turn to Cliff.

The film has answers, but not to the questions you thought it was asking. Clues abound - in names, in glances, in odd conversations, even in subtitles - but Malinowski isn't looking to resolve the "plot" suggested by the premise. He's looking deeper, into more personal places. And the more the film reveals (the enigmatic title is explained), the more you realize you're not watching a traditional story arc, but something much sneakier, deeper, and more challenging.

You'd be forgiven for finding "Yes, Your Tide is Cold and Dark" unsatisfying at first. It's not until well after the ending, when all the ideas of Malinowski's haunting work start to take shape, that you understand the movie is about something much more personal and profound than the almost (but not quite) conventional mystery proposed at the outset. Malinowski purposefully begins with a fairly straight-ahead narrative, and slowly (perhaps too slowly at times) takes it into odd, sometimes surreal places. He intentionally frustrates your expectations, forging sideways rather than ahead, until you realize you've been moving ahead the whole time. And he does it all in a beautifully-filmed movie, a loving and sumptuously-photographed portrait of a Delaware beach town.

As Cliff, Malinowski is a strong center, if sometimes a bit too passive (a trap many autobiographical filmmakers fall into). The film pulses with energy when he shows anger and passion (two scenes in particular - one odd argument between Cliff and a guitar student, one confrontation with a man who insists he WILL BUY CLIFF A DRINK, are riveting). The supporting characters, many of whom are harboring their own secrets, are excellently portrayed – standout actors include Jean Brooks, Aimee Cassada, and Gregory Tigani, but they're all very good. A thread about mysterious men in black is a bit distracting, although their leader (Ritchie Rubini) is chillingly effective – their presence is another sign that the movie refuses to bow to convention, but they feel a little forced. I suspect they partially represent a wink from Malinowski – you want a thriller, I'll give you a thriller - but they feel like misdirection. But maybe I just haven't quite figured out their place in the story yet.

But I will, because I'll be thinking about Malinowski's lyrical movie for a long time. I hope I haven't made this very entertaining film sound ponderous or alienating - even the most surreal scenes are infused with accessible emotions and strong, often poetic language. It's a fascinating piece of work that keeps you guessing right up until the final scene, where you discover Malinowski has been hiding secrets in plain sight the entire time.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)

If you have to make a live-action Looney Tunes movie...

[7/10 · 7 March 2013]

...you hire Joe Dante, who already made one in "Gremlins 2."

LT:BiA is probably about as good as a Looney Tunes movie can be these days. Yes, the magical timing of the Looney Tunes heyday is gone forever, but Dante provides tons of comic chaos, which is a decent substitute. Even when the jokes backfire (as they often do), you end up chuckling at the sheer audacity and ridiculousness of it all.

The film is cast well, although whether you find Martin's hysterical overacting funny is a matter of personal taste. Fraser is much more successful; he knows that when you're up against Bugs and Daffy, your best bet is to play it relatively straight. And after a slow start, the movie gathers a nice, breathless momentum and finally captures that WB anarchy that we grew up loving.

There are perhaps too many winking in-jokes, or maybe Dante lingers on them a bit too long. It all comes down to timing, which, of course, was WB's stock-in-trade. Dante can't quite capture it, which leads to more smiles than laughs. But when he nails it (as when Daffy proclaims the name of his alter-ego late in the film), it's great, silly fun.

Plus, for those of us who love Dante's drive-in sensibilities, he cast his old buds Mary Woronov, Dick Miller, and, for good measure, Ron Perlman. And for the most part he doesn't skimp on the cartoony violence that makes WB cartoons wonderfully subversive. So thumbs-up to "LT:BiA," which ends up being better than it probably needed to be.

Still, if you really wanna see a live-action Loony Tunes movie, you should check out "Gremlins 2," the hilarious sequel/send-up of his own "Gremlins." That one's consistently funnier and even more anarchic, even though it might be a little scary for the kids.

Little Fish, Strange Pond (2009)

Art?

[6/10 · 9 March 2012]

"Little Fish, Strange Pond" (which is a title about 14 times better than "Frenemy") wants to be...something. It wants it so bad that you're willing to bend your standards a bit for it. But the parts don't add up to much, I'm afraid.

You know from the first ten minutes there's really no chance of this being "good." Director Dark seems desperate to prove his indie cred, but there's little sense that he knows what the hell he's doing (indeed, some of his porn titles are more assured). There's lots of shock, some comedy, some horror, some satire, lots of artsy cuts and edits, a bit of surrealism, and lead characters with no redeeming qualities. I can get behind all this, and there are moments, particularly after the clumsy setup, where the philosophical ramblings and dark, aimless story really holds your interest. The music helps too - it bridges the gaps in radically uneven scenes and adds some much-needed charm to the proceedings.

But too often, writer Klein and Dark push too hard. They want to be NOTICED, so they allow the actors (particularly Modine) to over-indulge in "quirks," creating a cinematic artificiality that the movie cannot recover from. They're play-acting, and a movie like this needs gritty realism. Then again, given the over-written script (which is chock-full of underdeveloped ideas), the movie never really had a prayer.

It's a mess. It doesn't work. Modine overdoes it. It's full of crap philosophy and the direction and story are self-consciously "edgy." But damned if it doesn't linger, giving you images and ideas to ponder for a long time. If you're in the right frame of mind, it's worth seeing, if only because you have to admire Dark for trying something new.