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Reviews
Sideways (2004)
When hollywood meets reality
It has been one of the movies I watched now and then, since it came out and I was a teenager. I actually at the time did not directly relate to the entire story, but I saw the reality of it. This story basically involving two guys who gave up on succeeding in life, gives a glimpse of the reality of most people. It's a trip and everything is temporary, but so are many of the realities they face in life and are in denial of.
Everything from the cringe-worthy beginning, the numerous lies and bringing your own alcoholic drink into a fast food joint show a man in denial of the state of his life. Because the movie is so open and story are so open about the realities you immediately relate to the people.
Disaster Movie (2008)
Plot twist: the director didn't care about success, but wanted to end the careers all actors involved
There are so many good actors, especially from MadTV, in the movie and it still sucks. It's clear the director and other off screen people wanted to ruin these actors' careers.
Jack and Jill (2011)
A crime against all life in the universe
Thinking about all the 'acclaimed' actors involved and the budget this truly is one of the worst cinematic creations put forth. The humor, predictability, lack of a plotline and there not being any stakes, make for a movie that would not even be worthy to be an intro to an office episode.
Shame on Adam Sandler, Al Pacino and hollywood for making this movie. And shame on the US while we're at it, where this was made, produced and first allowed to be shown in theaters. Better yet, shame on all of us for allowing this thing to be created and manifest as a product found in our civilization. No, no, no, shame on all living creatures for harboring this cinematic abomination that tries to advocate for the eradication of all life in the universe.
Copycat (1995)
Thriller master piece!
This is such a good movie, I wonder why it's not up there with silence of the lambs. The plot is excellent and all the different hidden references and relationship between the beginning and ending, amaze me.
If you want a movie that delves deep into the topics of the death penalty, psych behind serial killers, beautiful portrayals of emotions, a good thriller with a beautiful soundtrack this is your movie!
Hart Van Nederland (1995)
Local and trivial
While I am open to many forms of news. I must say I can't watch this. It has a very comfortable vibe and nice relatable hosts. Yet this nationally broadcasted dutch news channel only focuses on micro news. They can cover an old lady being robbed, but ignore a theme like global warming. This type of 'news outlets' make people ignore the bigger picture and focus on the trees in front of them.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (1999)
Stolen Plot Lines and a science fiction investigators
In the past I liked it often, with the New York dark side and continuous relevant references, though of course solving every crime with the right culprit was always hard to bare. But now I'd say please ignore the worst police shows ever.
In the first episode of season 17 they took their story from Silence of the Lambs, with a psychopath that is willing to give information for benefits and only wants to meet the girl... Even the transvestite reference resembles Buffalo Bill, the transvestite psychopath wanting to be a woman, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THIS? They keep putting at least 5 cops on every small case including the lieutenant who has less tasks than a hot-dog vendor, while she constantly keeps hovering above the one investigation, SHE DOES NOT HAVE MORE THAN ONE CASE! This many cops does not compensate for cheap story lines, a soapy soundtrack and this fluffy story about crime on planet earth. I can't watch this anymore, nor can most people that can think, cancel this show already!
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Devil's Dissections (2015)
A Cheap Silence of The lambs Remake
This show has become so bad it is mimicking actual good movies. They go to a psychopath for information on another psychopath they met. The psychopath in jail only wants to meet one girl... The transvestite reference even resembled the plot of silence of the lambs, with the body suit etc.
Talking about cheap, putting in this many cops does not compensate for cheap story lines, a soapy soundtrack and a sticky lieutenant who has less tasks than a hot dog vendor, while she constantly keeps hovering above the single investigation they have instead of pretending to be busy with other cases.
Unrealistically they always find the culprit and have so little cases they can all work on the same case..... CANCEL IT ALREADY!
The Descendants (2011)
Dull, blame it on the acting and relations
Just was uninteresting, I had low expectations and was still disappointed. I want to like Clooney, but this was not a meaningful performance, or anything Oscar-worthy, plus there was like a weird pedo vibe between him and his daughter in the movie, it was just painful to watch. If G.C. had like a Murray type of believable middle-aged man approach, I could like this movie.
I did not hate it, but could never like it.
Also the pace is all wrong, it's was as though payne wasn't sure if this was a comedy or drama and hoped the actors would solve it.
Don't waste your time, there is talent out there!
Taken (2008)
A cheap Steven Seagal remake that gives Americans a bad name
This movie was not the work of experts, but a group of random amateurs who saw too many Steven Seagal movies and wanted to cash in on prejudices held on "SOME" of these actors' past successes. The IMDb score tricked me into thinking this was worth the time, but let me give feedback appropriately by mentioning the best things first and then go on to the worst parts.
The only good (funny) part:
When the protagonist contacts a previous CIA contact, that turns out to be a fraud, he shoots the man's innocent wife in the arm, in order to get information. As my bro said, she was depicted as a French housewife, whose life held no value. This was pure dark humor, that got me laughing, because this cutthroat abusive behavior is not the behavior you expect of someone (supposedly) ex-CIA, but expect of a retired pimp.
Then the worst parts:
- The disregard of all life forms that are not American. It is as though this movie hopes to accomplish complete disregard for all human life forms outside the USA, he kills so many people and ignores the suffering of so many girls that have the same age as his daughter that you end up hoping there will be some mention of these factors in the last minute of the movie. Nonetheless, in the end all that matters is the safe return of the spoiled American brat. Nobody cared for the other girls used as prostitutes, because they were not American. A note to the writer: this move plays out in France and THIS IS NOT THE MATRIX OTHER LIFE FORMS DO EXIST!!!!!
- The plot. As there was none, it was all predictable if you ever saw a Steven Seagal movie, except most of those actually have some form of content... The movie The innocence of M. was a movie with a plot of a similar level.
- Portrait of France. This country known for its refined culture is portrayed as a poverty stricken third world country, that happens to host the Louvre and some museums. This is confirmed by, the protagonist never considering contacting authorities and instead decides to kill all criminals he meets himself.
- The Credibility. Ex-CIA? Yeah right, for the sake of the USA I hope the CIA has more Intelligence... like I said, he was more like a retired pimp who's stash got busted and was out for revenge. This movie does not attempt to have you believe 10 seconds of its story line, it's all fantasy of an overexcited Steven Seagal fan.
- The acting. After the first scene I hoped his daughter would just die, because this spoiled brat can't act! She sucked in Lost and still does. Furthermore, everything resembles a Steven Seagal movie, the only good actors in this movie are possibly the French female addict, he only helps because she is wearing his daughter's jacket (BTW, she gets discarded after the protagonist gets his information). Furthermore, the protagonist was mediocre at acting, he used the script as a bible and unfortunately his face only knows 3 expressions: anger, anxiety and satisfaction. But, 80% of the time he just portrayed an angry tourist.
My recommendation is if you have an IQ above 45, this movie will not meet your expectations of a movie made by people with an IQ above 20. All this movie tries to inspire is to randomly kill people while you're in a foreign country on vacation or looking for your spoiled slightly retarded daughter. This piece of trash gives all Americans a bad name and does not teach anybody anything, save yourself, the time, money and breath it takes to deal with this product made by amateur American Hollywood residents without a passport.