Resident Evil is and always has been dumb, goofy horror shlock and thats why this movie is so good because it understands that. And that isn't to say its so bad its good because its perfectly good fun just as a zombie action film. People wanna moan that characters like Leon are drastically different but who cares? Leon in the games is a bland stoic action man with a bad haircut. God forbid they actually make him the least bit entertaining by turning him into a hopeless idiot. Bottom line is this is a fun goofy horror film and if people want to say its trash then so is every nostalgic horror guilty pleasure.
Reviews
11 Reviews
6 stars for 6 armed Sith waifu
23 September 2021
Really cute and silly (and thats ok!)
23 September 2021
Star Wars fans really are such a cantankerous bunch of whiners. This is just a goofy 13 minutes of Star Wars flavoured cartoon fun and if it genuinely irks you then maybe you take Star Wars and life in general a bit too seriously. To be fair though the singing is awful but it was just funny.
Candyman
(2021)
An inventive sequel
18 September 2021
Yeah the social commentary is as subtle as a sledgehammer and that seems to be all anyone wants to talk about. But this is nonetheless still a very worthy sequel with a fresh spin on the Candyman character and lore. Honestly a lot of the criticisms I've seen of this film come from the same people who whine about "wokeness" in movies so you should already know how much consideration you should give their thoughts. If you're curious then check it out for yourselves. I very much enjoyed it.
Bohemian Rhapsody
(2018)
I wish the critics were wrong
1 November 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I was very excited for this film as a fan of Queen and was dismayed by its poor critical reception. I went in believing I would find something to love but before long I could see this movie falling apart. Its all in the pacing. The movie chronicles Freddie Mercury and Queens rise to fame and the drama behind the scened but the movie itself cant decide what it wants to focus on. The movie spent more time showing the making and release of its titular song than it did introducing us to Freddie, the band, his girlfriend and their success. Everything happens so fast I found it impossible to care about any one aspect. Performances were solid all around but I couldn't care about any one person because aside from Freddie the movie gives us such little time to get to know them. Freddie himself is pretty unlikable and I feel no closer understanding of him then I did before. The film shows us what he is but never tries to tell us why he is. Overall the movie can be enjoyable especially in its line up of Queen hits but the movie in between the music is a limp, generic mess with little substance.
I expected better from James
20 June 2018
James Rolfe is a huge inspiration to me and led me to discover my love for filmmaking, i'm also a huge fan of the AVGN series. So it saddens me to say I couldn't even finish this waste of time. I followed the production from announcement to completion and I can't believe how truly awful it is.. After seeing this Im left to wonder if James is in any way a competent filmmaker. Ive seen all his college films and while they aren't great they show technical competence and at least some creative ability. What it boils down to is James doesnt seem to be an especially imaginative or creative person, at least if this film is anything to go by. Everything in this film is ripped from things James likes such as video games, giant monster movies, zombie movies you get the idea. Ive seen almost all his videos so I know what he likes in movies and while he loves the superficial elements things like story, character, good writing and all the key components of a good film dont seem to interest him and this film fully demonstrates it. This isn't a movie its James Rolfe emptying his nostalgic fantasies onto the screen and putting his angry video game nerd character in the centre of it all. There is no attempt to tell a compelling story, give us interesting characters or even competent effects. The comedy is pitiful and well below what James has demonstrated in his AVGN series. James has always had a love for practical effects and has given many a bitter tirade about modern cgi so in this film he aimed for as many practical effects as possible. Are they charming? Sure. Are they in any way convincing? Of course not and maybe this was the intention but James, if you aren't gonna take this film seriously why should we? This movie is just a massive in joke and comes across as senseless. Its not funny its not entertaining and as a huge AVGN fan I was severely let down. I wish James all the best in his future projects but honestly as much as his journey inspired my younger self part of me wonders if James is just a poor filmmaker. I love James' passion but that passion is wasted in garbage like this.
The movie Star Wars fans dont know they need.
14 December 2017
This movie is already being criticised and largely hated as people declare "Disney has killed Star Wars' "This isn't the Star Wars we all love" I myself was sad watching the movie, not because the movie was bad but because I knew people wouldn't understand why this film is so important and what a genius thing Rian did with the universe of Star Wars as a whole. Yes this is the end of Star Wars as we know, and the bold new step into something new and exciting. It's no longer just the dark side vs the light this film ingeniously throws that black and white morality out the window in one harsh move and declares that Star Wars is evolving into something deeper. This is a movie that can very easily be spoiled but the spoilers aren't superficial like someones parentage or secret name instead the spoilers are the things that set off this change in vision. This is all summarised in Kylo Ren who in this film evolves into the most fascinating Star Wars villain we've ever seen it's as he said in the trailer "let the past die, kill it if you have to its the only way to become what you were meant to be" and thats what Rian Johnson does here, he lays Star Wars to rest only for it to rise again more spectacular than ever. The old Star Wars bows out in some of the most beautiful scenes we've seen in the franchise with Luke and Leia both having their finest hour. It was indeed time for the Jedi to end and for something new to be born and continue the legacy of the galaxy far far away. Let's just hope they find someone a little more interesting than Rey to do it because unfortunately she is the biggest weak link and any semblance of character she had is dropped and she is now the Mary Sue we all feared her to be, this is a negative in an otherwise wonderful cast of interesting characters. In conclusion Last Jedi is not the best Star Wars film but it will be the most important one for decades to come and I sense that all the backlash it's getting for having the courage to do something new and controversial will one day turn into the admiration I and many others feel as we see this movie for what it is.
Justice League
(2017)
Don't insult me by saying it's for the fans.
26 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I'm a DC fan and I hate this movie, I'm all for superhero films having fan service and Easter eggs but when that takes precedent over the story then I take issue. This movie doesn't have characters it has sock puppets with personalities written on them. Flash is the funny one, Cyborg is the moody one, Aquaman....actually I don't even know what he was meant to be. Aquaman is just sort of there. Batman in this movie is not Batman. They have him stand on some gargoyles every now and then to remind you he's supposed to be Batman but his actions and personality simply don't match. Batman V Superman was terrible but at least Batman felt like Batman even if he did stupid things he at least did them like Batman would, he also feels useless in every fight he's in which was foreseen in BvS where he just grapple hooked around Doomsday while Wonder Woman and Superman did everything, pretty much how it goes here. Flash, Cyborg and Aquaman are first properly introduced here and they are all terrible. Cyborg is slightly better because they at least try to give him some development even if it is paper thin and amounts to nothing. The Flash is just a series of awful jokes and they try to give him a subplot with his father that we don't care about cause it's literally two scenes that get resolved by the end. Aquaman is nothing that's the best way I can put it. He says a few dumb lines which I guess are meant to be funny and he hits things with his pitchfork, if you want anything deeper than that then sorry but no luck. At least I can safely say I'll be skipping his movie especially if the underwater effects are as bad as they are here. Wonder Woman is almost good but really if you didn't see her solo movie than you won't understand anything she talks about and you ultimately won't care. The villain isn't worth discussing, he has a pretty funny scene where him and the amazonians are fighting for the plot device and it looks like they're playing rugby or something, It was meant to be serious but it just made me laugh. He has no personality, the cgi for him looks terrible (as does the rest of the effects) and his goal is just "i wanna destroy the world cause reasons' I would be more angry but the film is so bad that this is the least of their worries. The writing is ridiculously bad with exposition being used whenever they can't be bothered to tell the story in a smart way. Wonder Woman literally tells us the villains entire backstory in a scene that is purely dedicated to exposition and a cheeky green lantern Easter egg that is meaningless because this universe is dead. There is only 1 line of dialogue I actually liked where Batman convinces Flash to save someone, that was the only time anyone in this movie felt heroic. Also the movie is just ugly to look at, the entire final sequence is red I'm not kidding if you look at the trailer you'll see it the whole scene is just red not to mention the final fight is so forgettable it was over before I knew it. It would of just passed as the prologue fight you see in other superhero films. Overall this movie is awful in every aspect of where a film should be good, people are defending it cause they enjoy seeing certain characters hit each other which to me shows how little audiences care about actual filmmaking. I give it a 2 just because I didn't walk out and it was mercifully shorter than these films normally are. If you liked this movie I'm happy for you but It also makes me sad to know you'll accept a movie this flawed.
Rushed, messy and lacking any real fun
2 June 2016
Im sad to say that this was a fatal blow to DC's cinematic universe before it had time to really get started. Man of Steel wasn't amazing but was decent and I had hopes for DC's future in movies. Clearly looking to emulate the success of Marvel's cinematic universe DC however decided not to take it's time to introduce us to it's characters and lead us to an eventual crossover. Instead it's chosen to give it all to Zack Snyder and force it out ASAP and now we have this under cooked mess. While Batman v Superman isn't awful or even that bad it is a far cry from what could have been and spells nothing but disaster for what's to come. Zack Snyder was a terrible choice from day one as while he is certainly talented at visual filmmaking he is terrible at telling a cohesive story with enjoyable characters unless he copies it right from a comic or graphic novel. This film tries to be several comic book stories in one and manages to do justice to none of them.
Firstly the film is completely joyless which some fans defend claiming it to be "dark and mature" well forgive me for expecting a film called BATMAN V SUPERMAN to be fun. When two men is silly outfits are fighting on screen there's only so much you can take seriously and while it's true that superhero stories can be mature they also need to remember what they are. Henry Cavill is dull and lifeless as Clark Kent/Superman and barely even speaks instead just looking glum 90% of the time. Ben Affleck does a decent job as Bruce Wayne and Batman and does fit the darker tone far better than his more brightly dressed opponent. I found Batman's story to be far more engaging although it's clear how confused the writers were in telling this ludicrous story which is more a 3 hour long teaser trailer for the Justice League as there are incredibly forced dream sequences to try and fit in these references to things to come. That's a huge problem with this movie, it's so busy trying to excite you for the next film it forgets to be a good movie on it's own. Batman and Superman's fight, the main point of the film has no reason to even happen and is purely fan service.
As for the villain we have Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor and he was utterly laughable as this diabolical mastermind. Jesse is great when playing characters like Mark Zuckerberg but here he is horribly miscast. Amy Adams' Lois Lane was a strong enjoyable character and a highlight of Man of Steel but here she is nothing more than a waste of run time as her utterly meaningless quest throughout the film is there for no reason other than to keep her occupied until the climax. However an unexpected highlight of the film was Gal Gadot's surprising and excellent portrayal of Wonder Woman. She was by far the best part of the film for me in the limited time she gets and for nothing else her and Batman are the only things to look forward to in the future of the cinematic universe.
The film has some exciting action and in fact the first 20 minutes are excellent with heavy drama and great visual storytelling. It's a shame then that the rest of the film falls flat. In conclusion I hope DC can learn from this mistake and take greater care in future. There is potential that I don't want to see go to waste. Step 1: GET RID OF ZACK SNYDER.
Firstly the film is completely joyless which some fans defend claiming it to be "dark and mature" well forgive me for expecting a film called BATMAN V SUPERMAN to be fun. When two men is silly outfits are fighting on screen there's only so much you can take seriously and while it's true that superhero stories can be mature they also need to remember what they are. Henry Cavill is dull and lifeless as Clark Kent/Superman and barely even speaks instead just looking glum 90% of the time. Ben Affleck does a decent job as Bruce Wayne and Batman and does fit the darker tone far better than his more brightly dressed opponent. I found Batman's story to be far more engaging although it's clear how confused the writers were in telling this ludicrous story which is more a 3 hour long teaser trailer for the Justice League as there are incredibly forced dream sequences to try and fit in these references to things to come. That's a huge problem with this movie, it's so busy trying to excite you for the next film it forgets to be a good movie on it's own. Batman and Superman's fight, the main point of the film has no reason to even happen and is purely fan service.
As for the villain we have Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor and he was utterly laughable as this diabolical mastermind. Jesse is great when playing characters like Mark Zuckerberg but here he is horribly miscast. Amy Adams' Lois Lane was a strong enjoyable character and a highlight of Man of Steel but here she is nothing more than a waste of run time as her utterly meaningless quest throughout the film is there for no reason other than to keep her occupied until the climax. However an unexpected highlight of the film was Gal Gadot's surprising and excellent portrayal of Wonder Woman. She was by far the best part of the film for me in the limited time she gets and for nothing else her and Batman are the only things to look forward to in the future of the cinematic universe.
The film has some exciting action and in fact the first 20 minutes are excellent with heavy drama and great visual storytelling. It's a shame then that the rest of the film falls flat. In conclusion I hope DC can learn from this mistake and take greater care in future. There is potential that I don't want to see go to waste. Step 1: GET RID OF ZACK SNYDER.
Warcraft
(2016)
Disappointing but not awful
2 June 2016
Warcraft had me hoping it would be the video game movie that would finally be decent if not great. Sadly this film left me more mixed then anything other film this year. Firstly to list the positives I can say this is a faithful adaptation of World of Warcraft so fans will find something to enjoy. The game has very much been brought to life with some impressive CGI work. Also i found some of the characters enjoyable albeit hardly too memorable Toby Kebbell's orc character in particular I very much enjoyed and for me was the highlight. The same however cannot be said for Travis Fimmel's human lead. I'm a fan of Fimmel's work in the show Vikings but here his character is uninteresting and Fimmel does a poor job making us care for him or sympathize for his plight. As I found out he himself didn't even know what World of Warcraft was before being cast and as his first blockbuster leading role maybe he was simply out of his element. The film's effects are commendable and sometimes breathtaking and the visuals were very appealing. I also want to praise this movie for not relying on senseless action and instead relied on its characters which is something video game movies have almost always failed on before. However I have several issues with the film.
The first act was frankly a mess as I felt like I had somehow missed an hour of the film and was being dropped into it halfway. Places and characters fly past with no explanation and the story, while coherent enough, wasn't gripping in the least. It wasn't until the first human v orc fight I began to have fun with the movie and made myself more comfortable in getting to know these characters as the film began to slow down and let me absorb what was happening. For the majority of the film I was having fun but then I realized that this was simply setting up the first part in what I presume to be a series and so the film had zero closure leaving me more embittered by the end. Of course other fantasy films had done this in the past such as Lord of the Rings but unlike those films Warcraft gives us nothing to think on until the next film and with no characters to really care about there is little reason for me to get excited about the future of this series. Warcraft's sequel has the potential to be far better as Im now familiar with the world and characters but I seriously doubt this is a movie that will be revisited in the years to come. While this is a superior video game film it is sadly an average fantasy adventure.
The first act was frankly a mess as I felt like I had somehow missed an hour of the film and was being dropped into it halfway. Places and characters fly past with no explanation and the story, while coherent enough, wasn't gripping in the least. It wasn't until the first human v orc fight I began to have fun with the movie and made myself more comfortable in getting to know these characters as the film began to slow down and let me absorb what was happening. For the majority of the film I was having fun but then I realized that this was simply setting up the first part in what I presume to be a series and so the film had zero closure leaving me more embittered by the end. Of course other fantasy films had done this in the past such as Lord of the Rings but unlike those films Warcraft gives us nothing to think on until the next film and with no characters to really care about there is little reason for me to get excited about the future of this series. Warcraft's sequel has the potential to be far better as Im now familiar with the world and characters but I seriously doubt this is a movie that will be revisited in the years to come. While this is a superior video game film it is sadly an average fantasy adventure.
Krampus
(I) (2015)
The next horror cult classic
1 December 2015
Honestly Universal should be paying me for the amount of hype i've created for this film among my friends and their friends. I was without a doubt super excited for Krampus for two reasons. Firstly it's a horror film that isn't from Blumhouse, honestly with every horror film these days being "from the producers of Paranormal activity, Insidious and The Purge" I was starting to think Jason Blum made a pact with the devil to produce all mainstream horror films. Secondly this was the kind of film I hadn't seen in ages, something along the lines of Gremlins but more horror focused was what I've been wanting for a long time. So after seeing Krampus I was not disappointed at all. Was it a horror masterpiece on par with The Exorcist? No it wasn't but thats not at all what I wanted. I wanted a fun imaginative horror film and one that finally does justice to the long overlooked legend of Krampus. The idea of a Christmas horror film is nothing new but all the well known ones (Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night) are always slasher films with human villains when Christmas had it's own traditional villain with Krampus why has it taken so long to bring him to the big screen?
But anyway Krampus is unlike any film i've really seen before it's both lighthearted and funny but also surprisingly horrifying. I mean it when I say there's some nightmare fuel in this film even if i didn't find it that scary It is still in my opinion a legitimate horror. The Visit proved to me that horror and comedy can mix well. When a horror film is 100% serious thats OK as long as it's warranted. When a horror film takes itself too seriously though it can make it a boring watch. A great comparison is A Nightmare On Elm Street from 1984 and it's remake in 2010 the remake was largely panned because it was too serious while dealing with some ridiculous subject matter whereas the original made it into some morbid humour which worked much better. Krampus does the same although it is obviously more of a comedy than Elm Street.
Krampus himself looks fantastic being made entirely of practical effects and carries a great presence in may opinion he is a classic horror villain in the making. Of course he isn't alone and is accompanied by demonic toys and wicked elves who's sadistic and playful nature makes for some truly horrifying visuals. Oddly enough though this is still a Christmas movie and does manage to bring me those warm holiday feelings. I think this film in it's own right will hold a special place in my heart as a holiday movie with a wickedly twisted side that I just loved so much.
In conclusion Krampus won't win Oscars but I think if you go in wanting to have fun and experience some scares along the way you'll be more than satisfied. Krampus is one hell of a Christmas gift.
But anyway Krampus is unlike any film i've really seen before it's both lighthearted and funny but also surprisingly horrifying. I mean it when I say there's some nightmare fuel in this film even if i didn't find it that scary It is still in my opinion a legitimate horror. The Visit proved to me that horror and comedy can mix well. When a horror film is 100% serious thats OK as long as it's warranted. When a horror film takes itself too seriously though it can make it a boring watch. A great comparison is A Nightmare On Elm Street from 1984 and it's remake in 2010 the remake was largely panned because it was too serious while dealing with some ridiculous subject matter whereas the original made it into some morbid humour which worked much better. Krampus does the same although it is obviously more of a comedy than Elm Street.
Krampus himself looks fantastic being made entirely of practical effects and carries a great presence in may opinion he is a classic horror villain in the making. Of course he isn't alone and is accompanied by demonic toys and wicked elves who's sadistic and playful nature makes for some truly horrifying visuals. Oddly enough though this is still a Christmas movie and does manage to bring me those warm holiday feelings. I think this film in it's own right will hold a special place in my heart as a holiday movie with a wickedly twisted side that I just loved so much.
In conclusion Krampus won't win Oscars but I think if you go in wanting to have fun and experience some scares along the way you'll be more than satisfied. Krampus is one hell of a Christmas gift.
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