Change Your Image
rockoforza
Reviews
Bad Boys (1983)
Sean Penn and Esai Morales are Buff Bad Boys
After playing class clown Jeff Spicoli in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," Sean Penn was looking to change his image for something tougher. He found the perfect vehicle in 1983's "Bad Boys." Where Spicoli was a slack-muscled mop haired surfer dude in boardshorts, his character of Mick O'Brien in "Bad Boys" is a dangerous street tough. Changing his body image to play O'Brien, Penn added pounds of muscle to his frame and traded Spicoli's stoned grin for a permanent scowl. This flick really begins Penn's long line of playing angry young men who use physical strength to get what they want (think "At Close Range" and "Colors") and it's one of his best.
In a botched drug robbery, Penn accidentally kills a young latino boy who happens to be the brother of his high school rival Paco Moreno, played by a smoldering Esai Morales. Both Morales and Penn are in their 20s, but nail the younger look, making them believable as teens. Morales, whose ripped physique is on display as much as Penn's, is a menacing force to contend with. His promise to make Penn suffer for slaying his little brother puts the plot in motion.
Penn is sent to a juvenile prison where the adults look the other way while the young inmates go wild. Penn's cellmate, oddball brainiac Horowitz, fills him in on the power structure. The place is run by Viking and Tweety, two older boys who terrorize the weaker ones. We watch Tweety rape a young black boy who, when he resists, is brutally slain by the two. Ultimately, they target Penn but, in a brutal fight, he savagely injures them both. In the shower afterwards, we see Penn in just a towel, his powerful young body on display, being told by Horowitz that he is now the top dog. Together they use his muscles to take over the day to day life in the prison.
Meanwhile, back in Chicago, Morales takes his revenge by raping Penn's girlfriend played by Ally Sheedy. Though wearing a ski mask during the attack, he purposely removes it as he climaxes so that she knows it's payback for her boyfriend's actions. This lands Morales in the same prison as Penn and now the plot picks up speed with the inevitable showdown between these two. Inmates -- and even some of the adult guards -- start betting on which one of these two "bad boys" will take the life of the other. Intimidation becomes the watchword, as we watch them preparing for the fight. In one telling scene, Morales is shirtless, doing concentration curls with a dumbbell, while Penn and the others watch. His ripped latino physique sends O'Brien an unmistakable message of physical power.
The fight finally takes place with the smirking guards encouraging the young gladiators to square off. The prison becomes an arena where the two boys are to battle to the death. It's muscle to muscle, with fists and vicious kicks and finally a prison shank. Each boy struggling to get in a killing blow. Rumors swirled around the production that Penn was jealous of Morales's obvious physical superiority and that he wanted a darker ending where he uses the shank to off the young latino. However,when Penn has Morales pinned with the blade poised over his heart, he spares his life. Led off by the guards, we assume that he is now on the road to redemption --- maybe. As an actor, we know that Penn is definitely on the road to more roles like this, including 2003's "Mystic River," where he is another "bad boy" --- just grown up.
The Bachelorette: Episode #10.1 (2014)
2014 Bachelorette Frontrunners
After Andi Dorfman rejected Venezuelan stud Juan Pablo Galavis, she became the new Bachelorette and has been give a couple dozen new men to chose from. It's the usual collection of 20 and 30 year old good looking, well built, successful young guys with brawny shoulders and six-pack abs and personalities that range from "aw shucks" to aggressive romeos. Already handicappers are picking five that stand out and have the best shot at going the distance with Andi.
Interestingly enough, there was almost a sixth in the person of Chris Bukowski. Fans of the show will remember Bukowski as the sexy hothead that almost won the heart of Bachelorette Emily Maynard and then went on to scorch "Bachelor Pad" by using his undeniable masculinity to hook up with -- and then dump -- three gorgeous women to get to the finals. A smoldering "badboy" who rumbled with the other guys and romanced all the women, Bukowski became an internet sensation. Attempting to get on the show, he crashed the premier and almost mixed it up with Security until Andi sent word that he should go. Too bad -- this popular stud would have made a serious play for Andi while keeping the other guys on their toes.
First of the five is Chris Soules, a young farmer from Iowa. At 32, he's a clean cut, boy-next-door type with a football lineman's build and a million dollar smile. Andi took him to the racetrack and, since he showed up in shorts and a tee shirt, she needed to dress him properly. Watching him strip to his underwear and change into a designer suit complete with sexy purple socks, it was easy to see how this corn-fed adonis got his first rose.
Marquel Martin is a 25-year old African-American from Vegas who specializes in making Andi laugh -- when he's not showing off his sculpted body for her viewing pleasure. A former college football standout, Marcus stands out not only physically, but with his wit and humor. It's not all laughs though, as the brother can't help discussing his strength and ability to "dominate" the competition. With that impressive body and winning personality, Marquel may be the first black stud to go all the way in what has been so far a "white guys only" show.
Marcus Grodd, 24, practices sports medicine when he's not looking hot in a speedo. Even in a shirt and jeans, with his sexy chest hair spilling out from an open collar, you can see this guy is "all man." Andi thinks so too and already has awarded him a rose for his "Top Gun" performance in Navy Whites.
Josh Murray says his favorite movie is "Gladiator" and it's easy to see why. This modern day warrior battled on both professional baseball fields and in semi-pro football. As result, the 6'2" jock has the well-muscled body of a champion athlete which he shows off in skin tight shirts every chance he gets. Even the other guys have commented on his physical presence, calling him a "stud," which doesn't bother him one bit. He knows he's hot and, at a male strip routine for charity, had an evil grin when he said "I'm going to get naked for Andi." He came very close to doing just that and Andi loved it.
Finally, Cody Sattler, 28, finishes out the front runners. Cody is a personal trainer and his physique proves it. With the look of a true muscleman, Cody is no stranger to using his body to get what he wants. At the same strip routine, Cody promised to "bare everything" and when the time came, he posed and strutted in just a g-string and coat of oil. Flexing his massive arms in front of Andi, he made it clear that he was the guy to beat and if she doesn't chose him, there's already talk that this prime physical specimen may wind up being the next Bachelor.
As the show progresses, it's possible that other guys may emerge as top contenders for Andi's affections, but right now these five -- and maybe even Mr. Bukowski -- are the ones to watch.
The Circuit (2001)
Jeremy Steals the Show
In 2002 the first "Circuit" movie began a series featuring martial artist Olivier Gruner about secret fights to the death where the crowd bets on the outcome. As is often the case, the original movie is the best and it is no different here.
Olivier Gruner plays Dirk, a martial arts badass that was the only fighter to quit the "Circuit" and live to tell about it. Now a college coach, he is preparing his younger brother Jeremy, played by Ilya Melnikoff, for a professional sports career. Unfortunately, Jeremy is a headstrong young stud who likes to spend his off-hours at the underground gladiator matches run by Vixton (Bryan Genesee) and featuring a nightly card of snuff matches ruled by the champion Kwan (played by the bodybuilding Kim twins.) Jeremy not only gets off on the brutal slayings, but likes to bet on them as well. In a homoerotic subplot, Vixton notices Jeremy and his athletic physique and, when Jeremy can't pay his gambling debts, offers to train him as a fighter to pay off his debt.
Though Gruner is the star, Jeremy steals the movie with his transformation from innocent college jock to a trained killer in the ring. We see Vixton slowly seducing the young fighter with encouragement and praise. Jeremy, who has a sculpted body, is often shirtless or just in tight trunks, sparring or lifting weights, and Vixton is right there massaging his shoulders, squeezing his arms, telling him how he's got to be ready to take out his opponent.
Dirk searches for his missing brother and he's aided by a reporter (Gail Kent) who is investigating the underground fight scene. It's only a matter of time before Dirk beds her, but not before they share a steamy shower scene. At the same time, Kwan -- who has a tricky way of tagging out to his twin brother to stay fresh in every fight -- has vowed to take on Dirk and kill him to cement his own legacy as King of the Circuit.
Of course, the best part of these types of movies are the fights themselves. Gruner takes care of business in a few street and bar fights during the search for his brother, but the real action is in the ring and once again, the spotlight is on young Jeremy who's being billed as "The College Boy." Along with other matches that feature military studs in fatigues, black thugs and even two homeless street guys that fight to the death for the crowd's entertainment, Jeremy's first match is against a burly older muscleman and, with vicious kicks and punches, he succeeds in taking his life. Flushed with victory the barechested "College Boy" struts around the ring while the crowd yells its approval. Not to be outdone, moments later we see Kwan snap the neck of a shirtless Thai fighter.
Though Vixton continues to toy with Jeremy, his real intentions become clear: Match up Dirk and Kwan for a big money championship fight. Finally, Dirk locates the Circuit and, after dispatching a dozen guards barehanded, enters the ring to face a series of Vixton's finest fighters. One by one Dirk takes them out until he finally faces Kwan and his twin brother. After watching young Jeremy in action, Gruner's battle is somewhat of a letdown. With the Kwans defeated and the police arriving to arrest Vixton, the movies ends. Clearly, the producers knew they had a good thing going because Vixton's last words to Dirk is a promise to start a new Circuit in prison and, sure enough "Circuit 2" is set in a prison where the cons are forced into death matches. A third Circuit movie, subtitled "The Final Fight" followed it. Though Gruner is in all three, they suffer by the absence of the real star of the first one --- "College Boy" Jeremy and his fighting skills.
Radical Jack (2000)
Billy Ray Cyrus - Action Star
When Billy Ray Cyrus burst on the Country Music scene in 1992 with "Achy Breaky Heart," he immediately became a hot property. With smoldering good looks and an imposing physique, he had real star quality. Cyrus had been a champion athlete in school and his 6' frame, still sculpted with muscle and some badass ink, made him a natural for action movies like "Radical Jack." The plot was pretty simple -- Jack, an ex-Navy SEAL goes undercover in a hick town to bust an arms seller, falls in love with the innocent girlfriend of the head bad guy and leaves a trail of bodies at the end. Wisely, they used this thin storyline to showcase Cyrus, both as a fighter and a lover. With his trademark mullet morphed into movie star locks and his sleeves rolled up to display his big tattooed arms, Billy Ray's transformation into a redneck sex symbol is quickly established.
Billy Ray hits town and immediately crosses swords with Rolland, played by Noah Blake. The smooth Blake is a good foil for Cyrus, he's leaner, more polished, but his muscular body and martial arts skills are clearly deadly. He has a posse of goons, chief among them the familiar Rusty De Wees, who has made a career out of playing backwoods enforcers. Add to the mix a couple of crooked cops and you can see early on that Billy Ray will have his work cut out for him.
Along with punch ups and beat downs, there's a budding romance between Cyrus and Kate (DeDee Pfeiffer.) We first see Kate in a sex scene with Rolland (she's topless, he's in boxers and socks,) but it's only a prelude to her breakup with him. When Jack shows up, Kate falls hard and we get to see her seducing him in a steamy bed scene where both bodies are on display. Sex actually plays a big role in this movie. When a crooked cop's wife threatens the arms deal, another officer is sent to silence her, but he takes time to bed her first before pulling the trigger. Inevitably, we also get a scene where Rolland's lovemaking gets heavy handed and Kate's black eye and swollen lip lead to Jack vowing to kill Rolland.
Along with the sex, there's plenty of fighting. Cyrus has ample opportunity to show off with martial arts moves and two fisted punching. Rolland never runs out of goons for him to put away -- some of them permanently. Cyrus finally gets a beatdown of his own from De Wees and a dozen hillbilly musclemen, but that just gives Kate an excuse to nurse him back to health in her bedroom where Billy Ray -- naked except for a pair of flimsy drawstring pants -- gets treated to some "tender loving care." In the end, Jack makes sure all the bad guys meet an appropriate end. In an orgy of gun violence, Jack slays every thug in sight. De Wees's muscles don't do him any good against the ex-SEAL and, though Jack promised Kate he would off Rolland for manhandling her, she does the honors herself by putting a bullet in his head.
As an action movie, "Radical Jack" didn't break any new ground, but as a vehicle to showcase big bad Billy Ray Cyrus, it did a great job. Cyrus went on to star in a number of TV shows, but never made another shoot 'em up action movie --- too bad.
Gymkata (1985)
Gymnastics and Martial Arts = Gymkata
The idea of combining gymnastics and martial arts is the basis for this movie. The hero Jonathan Cabot is played by Olympic gold medalist Kurt Thomas. While the credits roll we see Thomas swinging from the high bar exhibiting the muscular control that made him a champion. With "boy next door" good looks (still only in his 20s when this movie was made,) and a chiseled physique, he's perfect to play a young athlete chosen by the CIA for a secret mission. The Asian country of Parmistan has become a pawn in the Cold War and Jonathan's soldier father was slain there while playing a grueling martial arts endurance game. Now, if Jonathan can win the same contest that killed his father, the USA can establish a vital satellite station there. Though Jonathan is no fighter, his obvious physical abilities make him a prime candidate to compete against the other countries' competitors. The CIA begins his training, turning a boyish jock into a martial arts killer. Parmistan's beautiful princess Rubali also helps in his education and, in very little time, the two teenagers fall in love. We see him training hard and watch as his "gymkata" becomes a deadly martial arts technique. His romance with the princess heats up as well in a scene where the lovely Rubali massages his shirtless torso.
Arriving in Parmistan, Jonathan meets the other champions he will have to beat to win the game. Among them are Thorg, a giant Russian wrestler, Gomez, Hao and, the movie's villain Zamir. Zamir is played by Australian martial arts legend Richard Norton. The mature Norton --- sporting an impressive physique --- is the perfect foil for the young Thomas and when Zamir begins to lust after Rubali, we know only one of them will survive.
The game begins and, one by one, the competitors meet a grisly death -- some at the hands of Zamir's deadly arrows. Jonathan retains his good guy image by trying to help an injured rival, while Thorg improves his odds by ambushing Hoa using his brute strength to slay the young Asian. The game takes them through a village of homicidal maniacs and Jonathan must use every trick in his gymkata to survive, but Thorg is not so lucky and meets his death there. Just when things look dark for Jonathan he is rescued by a mysterious stranger who turns out to be his missing father. He explains that though Zamir pierced his chest with an arrow he survived and hid out all this time. The reunion is short lived however when Zamir spots them and finishes the job he started by sinking another arrow into the father's back. With his dying breath he makes Jonathan promise to win the game for him.
Zamir and Jonathan square off for the final battle. Norton clearly prepared for this role with plenty of gym time and his buff physique is on full display. Matched against him is the younger Thomas, lighter and faster. Using his superior strength, Norton begins to wear down the gymnast, but then using his gymkata skills, Thomas flips into the air and lands with his legs wrapped around Norton's neck. Anyone who watches gymnastics knows they have incredibly well developed leg muscles. With the intensity showing on his face, Jonathan slowly constricts his powerful thighs until, with a savage twist, he snaps Zamir's neck. Having won the game, and avenged his father, Jonathan goes on to wed Rubali and tie Parmistan to an alliance with the USA.
Though there are big holes in the plot and the Cold War theme is dated, there is plenty of action in this flick. The gymkata style is interesting and it's surprising no one else adopted it for a future action film . Kurt Thomas never made another movie which is also surprising since he had the good looks and ripped body of a Hollywood star. Maybe someday another gymnast will come along to capture the public's imagination and we'll see a Gymkata 2.
The Baytown Outlaws (2012)
Redneck Muscle Road Trip
With inspiration from flicks like The Warriors (where tough teenage gang members kill their way across New York to get back to their home turf) to The Boondock Saints (good boy assassins that only kill bad guys) to Smokin' Aces (teams of themed hit men and women,) this movie touches all the bases in a story about 3 redneck brothers that a bent sheriff uses to kill scumbags before they can commit crimes. When they take a side job snatching a special needs kid from his dirtbag father in order to return him to his mother, they wind up carving a swath of murder and mayhem across the South.
Meet the Oodie Brothers. Brick is the oldest, the image of his murderous pappy Johnny Boy Oodie who terrorized the county until the law dropped him. Played by Clayne Crawford, a familiar face from many TV cop shows and the hit film Swimfan, Brick is the brains (only a figure of speech here) of the clan. His younger brother, the prankster McQueen, is played by Travis Fimmel, who recently was the star of the TV hit Vikings, as well as a number of other action movies. Finally, brother Lincoln, played by Daniel Cudmore, Colossus in the X-Men movies, had been a professional wrestler responsible for 7 deaths in the ring. All 3 brothers are awesome physical specimens (a loaded barbell and weight bench are prominently displayed outside their cabin.) Brick and Travis are ripped, defined to the max, and traced over with hillbilly tattoos. At 6'6, Lincoln is totally jacked and, in case we doubted his deadly abilities, a flashback shows him gleefully taking the lives of his backwoods opponents in the ring.
The movie opens with the Oodies raiding a house where some latino gangbangers are holed up. In an orgy of gun play and coldblooded killing, the Oodie brothers take out a half dozen badasses, starting by shooting one vato in the eye as he peers through door's spy hole. Just another assignment from the Sheriff (Andre Braugher) who pays the boys to take out the trash. Enter Celeste (Eva Longoria) who offers Brick $25,000 to bring back her son Rob from his drug dealing father Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton with a soul patch.) Eva's curves and the money are irresistible and before you know it, the boys are crashing Carlos's home and, after executing Carlo's hired muscle, hightailing it home with Rob.
Carlos begins to send out teams of assassins to stop the brothers and re-capture Rob. When the boys stop at a roadhouse, they encounter a bevy of seductive biker chicks and before they know it, the girls are climbing all over them. Shirts come off, lap dances commence and the boys are no longer thinking with the right head. Of course, what they don't know is that these ladies are a team of hooker assassins just waiting till the brothers are fully relaxed before making their move. One babe kneels before Brick, slowly removing his belt while licking his 6-pack abs, McQueen's eyes close in ecstasy while his lap dance reaches a climax and big Lincoln cradles a gorgeous fox's head while swapping tongues. When the hooker loops Brick's belt around his neck, the redneck grins with kinky pleasure, but when she suddenly pulls it tight he knows what's up (he's not the brains for nothing.) A shouted warning to his brothers is all it takes for them to go from lovemaking into kill mode. Each girl is dispatched in quick order with Lincoln finishing his soulful kiss by snapping his partner's neck.
Two more crews are sent to stop the boys. A posse of muscular black street thugs ambush them on the road, each one of them bare chested and oiled up like bodybuilders. Brick and McQueen shoot some and Lincoln uses his bare hands to take out the rest. A tribe of murderous Indians comes next and, though the Indians are sent to the happy hunting ground, the final conflict leaves all 3 boys badly wounded. In a somewhat hokey ending, the Sheriff arrives to rescue them, Rob is returned to his mother (during the odyssey, the brothers have bonded with him) and Carlos receives his just desserts.
A epilogue fast forwards to all three brothers getting out of prison, looking fit and ready for some new adventures. Clearly a sequel is in the works.
Martial Outlaw (1993)
Good Cop, Bad Cop and Plenty of Action
This movie has everything an action film could want -- heroes and villains and great fight scenes. It stars Jeff Wincott and Gary Hudson. Wincott made a name for himself in a number of great martial arts movies and fans will remember Hudson kicking ass in the classic movie "Roadhouse." Here they play two bothers taking on the Russian mob.
It starts out in San Francisco where DEA agent Kevin White (Wincott) promises a snitch that he'll protect him from the Russian drug dealer Rochenko and his hired muscle Sergei (played by the massive real life bodybuilder Stefano Miltsakakis.) The scene switches to L.A. where we see hero cop Jack White (Hudson) wasting 3 Asian thugs while foiling a pawn shop robbery.
The two brothers couldn't be any more different. Kevin is a straight laced law enforcement professional who trains hard in martial arts. One look at him shirtless, working out on the heavy bag, reveals a chiseled physique. Jack, on the other hand, is all street muscle, with a powerful body built to punish the trash he encounters on patrol. Rivals for the affection of their ex-cop father, and disapproving of each other's style, they hook up once Kevin's case takes him to L.A. Though they start out reminiscing, the tension between them is obvious. In a key scene, Jack challenges Kevin to a friendly sparring match and it's only a matter of time before it leads to fighting for real. Though evenly matched, after trading some well-aimed blows, Kevin's superior training gets the upper hand over Jack's brute strength and it's easy to see he enjoys administering a savage beating to his younger brother.
Angry and humiliated, Jack turns dirty and throws in with Rochenko, where he trades inside information for a cut of the drug money. Rochenko tests Jack's loyalty by ordering him to slay Kevin's snitch. The street cop carries out the assignment and executes the innocent man in cold blood. Meanwhile, Kevin is attacked by a musclebound latino street thug and, after a ferocious fight, offs him with a powerful kick. Standing over the dead thug, Kevin shakes his head muttering "L.A. hasn't changed a bit." Jack starts playing a double game, feeding Rochenko information, but still helping his brother against the Russian enforcers. In a great scene in a restaurant, the two brothers take on a bunch of Rochenko's musclemen and leave the place littered with bodies. The best fight scene comes later when Kevin is lured to a dojo and faces "the Russian Circle." Directed by Sergei, a dozen muscular killers surround Kevin and take turns attacking him. The fights are bloody as they vie for the chance to kill him. With bare hands, swords, chains and clubs, they each take their turn --- but Kevin is faster, stronger and better trained. One by one, he expertly takes each Russian's life. When he's done, Kevin's shirtless torso is gleaming with sweat. He asks Sergei "Is that the best you got?!" Sergei, not liking the odds, disappears.
Conflicted, Jack's plot unravels and Rochenko makes plans to flee with the money. Exposed as a dirty cop, Jack follows and the ultimate showdown takes place. Kevin finally squares off against Sergei and the two struggle barehanded, muscle to muscle, until Kevin proves the stronger, twisting Sergei's head until we hear the sharp crack that lets us know that Kevin has snapped his thick neck. Though Jack still wants the money, his brother tells him he needs to give himself up and it looks like the two brothers might have to fight it out again -- this time to the death. Rochenko intervenes and, when he tries to shoot Kevin, Jack instinctively jumps in the way, taking the bullet meant for his brother.
The movie ends with Jack's hero's funeral, and Kevin realizing that, for all his bad deeds, his brother Jack was a good cop. This tale of two brothers has a good ending and both Jeff Wincott and Gary Hudson do an excellent job playing these tough cops. The martial arts fights are the centerpieces --- especially the "Russian Circle" where the action is white hot.
Love and a Bullet (2002)
Black Assassins, White Crime Boss, High Body Count
Rapper Treach (lead singer for Naughty by Nature) plays Malik Bishop, a stone cold hit man in this violent action movie. Treach gives us a running narrative on his profession that is sometimes comical, sometimes profane, but always badass. Handsome, with a bald head and smooth, ripped physique, covered in gang tattoos, Treach definitely looks the part. Joining him is an almost all-black caste of enforcers, thugs and hit men.
Charles Guardino plays Damien, a white mob boss that specializes in recruiting young black street muscle and turning them into trained assassins. We see Treach starting out with a amateur crew and murdering other brothers with abandon. He coldly slays a black pimp for being late to meeting. In another early scene he shows he doesn't need a gun to get the job done by silently strangling a sleeping thug with a white handkerchief. Impressed by his body count, Damien soon offers him a job with his organization.
Treach enters a world where he becomes one of six highly trained black killers. Along with them being impressive physical specimens, they each have their own trademark kill techniques. Putting that black muscle on display, we see them shirtless, or in martial arts gear, working out, lifting weights and practicing their lethal artistry. We watch as training leaves them exhausted, buff bodies gleaming with sweat, ready to do the boss's bidding. But nobody is under any illusions about the power structure. Damien surrounds himself with bodyguards -- a cadre of white bodybuilders -- leaving no doubt about how far he trusts his black employees. As the six assassins admit among themselves after completing hits ordered by Damien, the world belongs to white men -- they are just there to "take out the trash."
We see some exciting hits, including one where Treach and Buddy, his best friend on the hit squad, invade a house where a federal witness is being guarded by marshals. The black killers expertly eliminate each of the six white lawmen before taking out the witness. Back at headquarters, Buddy demands more money for his work on hits like these and a furious Damien marks him for death, sending some of his white bodyguards to do the deed. In some furious action, involving snapped necks, close quarter martial arts and expert gunplay, Buddy easily offs them one by one. Though we don't see who fires the fatal shot, Buddy is finally slain, with the suspicion that one of the six black killers took the contract to ice a "brother."
That lesson isn't lost on Treach and he begins to lay plans to leave the organization -- especially after falling in love with the beautiful black hit woman Hylene. In a series of graphic sex scenes (including a full frontal view of Treach's impressive manhood) the romance gets red hot and it's only a matter of time before Damien lets Treach know that love isn't healthy in his line of work. Hylene disappears and, at the same time, Damien orders Treach to snuff Cynda (Damien's black girlfriend whom he suspects of cheating) installing Treach in a sniper's nest across the street from her apartment. Even while he's aiming the rifle at her head, we can see Treach is developing feelings for her as he watches Damien slap her around. In a sick mind game with Treach, Damien won't give the final order to kill her, preferring to taunt Treach by letting him watch while he abuses her -- sometimes even winking at him from the window. Treach slowly loses it -- day after day, often stripped to just his boxers, his muscular black torso slick with sweat -- all the time with his crosshairs on Cynda's lovely face and Damien's leering smirk right there.
Having enough of his twisted game Damien calls off the hit, but Treach has other plans. Knowing that Cynda's life will never improve, he fires the fatal bullet to free her forever. Damien goes insane and orders his men to take out Treach and the final battle is on. First his remaining white musclemen are dispatched but they are no match for Treach's black fury. Their deaths only infuriate Damien all the more and he turns to Treach's former "brothers" to carry out the hit. In an orgy of black-on-black violence, Treach faces the best in the business --- and ices them, one by one. With guns blazing, kicks and fists flying and some incredible acrobatic fighting moves, each killer meets his end. In one particularly brutal fight, Treach drives an iron spike clean through the shaved head of one of his former buddies. Leaving a pile of black corpses, Treach goes looking for the white man responsible for it all and, in a hail of bullets, takes Damien's life.
There is a surprise waiting for Treach at the end of this movie and, badass killer that he is, you don't begrudge him a little happiness. Treach makes this movie -- all black muscle and attitude -- and elevates it beyond just another gangsta outing. The fights are awesome, the intrigue is cool, the sex is hot and the hits are cleverly staged -- like Wesley Snipes once famously said in another action movie, "always bet on black."
The Bachelorette (2003)
Testosterone Soap Opera
When The Bachelorette Season 9 started with 25 single men, the smart money was on one of five top studs to be the last one standing when Desiree Hartsock gave out the final rose.
Ben is a 28 year old unmarried young dad from Texas. He's good looking, tall at 6'2" with an athletic build (he tells us his favorite magazine is Men's Fitness) and a sweet talker. He scored an early rose and became the frontrunner.
With a tour of duty in Iraq under his belt, Army vet Bryden is a true hero and looks the part. The 26 year old from Montana is a square jawed, country boy who seems honest and open. With a rugged build this guy is no lightweight.
James, a big dude, at 6'2 with a linebacker's shoulders, his physical presence stands out. His bio lists two tattoos, including one of a bull on his left shoulder. This young muscleman sets the bar high for the other guys.
Mikey T, a brawny 30 year old plumber from outside Chicago, has a big city accent to match his big city swagger and powerful torso. Though he's street tough -- tattoos, a fan of Stallone ("He brought fitness to Hollywood,") -- he's a diamond in the rough.
The last contender is Zak with a body that could only be described as "sculpted." He arrived stripped to the waist and asked Des to "accept these abs." Some already say, with his physique and crazy style, he might be a shoe-in as the next Bachelor.
While Des goes out on dates to evaluate them as possible mates, the testosterone level is definitely rising among these five "manimals." These hard charging young men know they are in a fierce competition to mate with a beautiful women. Whether it's on the football field or in the boxing ring or even in the workplace, these are the kind of guys that give it their all and don't like to lose. With that said, it's no surprise that tempers are rising and bad blood is beginning to flow.
Ben seems to be the target of most of the dislike. With boyish good looks and an athletic body, he's made points with Des as a father dedicated to raising his son. It doesn't hurt that he's also a soulful kisser that never misses an opportunity to whisk Des off to a private spot for a passionate make-out session. Just watching her face when he's got her in his arms, you can see that this hot young dad has her under his spell.
Bryden says flat out "I hate Ben." Zak isn't far behind. Mikey (though he's from Chicago, he's got more in common with his muscular Italian-American brethren on "The Jersey Shore,") goes even further. "Ben needs a punch in the face," he says, cocking a big fist and bulging arm for the camera, "Sometimes you just gotta get physical." At a mock "Mr. America" competition, the rivalry between Ben and Mikey went red hot. When Ben was given a tight speedo to wear, Mikey offered to trade him for his loose jams ("I'm disappointed I can't show everything off.") Ben later admitted he, too, wanted to "bare a lot" for Des. On stage the two went head to head, with Mikey oiled up and jacked for the competition, posing like a bodybuilder. Mikey looked like a real Mr. America and even Bryden admitted, "Mikey killed it." But Ben, though smaller than Mikey, still caught Des's eye, crunching his washboard abs while exhibiting his ripped physique.
Though these two studs are locked in a tight struggle that might just get "physical" before it's all over, the race may not go to either one. While they -- and Zak and Bryden -- were on stage flexing, back at the hotel penthouse, sexy young muscleman James was getting ready for his one-on-one date with Des. Even bigger than Mikey, with Hollywood good looks and Southern charm, we see him slipping off his robe and easing into a warm bath, sipping wine, eating strawberries and planning how to make Des forget every other guy but him. With a better body than Mikey, and more of a ladies' man than Ben, this player may just be the Man to take it all.
Sexy Assassins (2012)
Soft core porn mystery features hot stars
A posh hotel suite, a gorgeous redhead and a handsome playboy. Slowly she undresses the built young stud, kneeling before him to kiss his ripped six-pack. She goes from worship to service as she pleases him orally and, while they make love, playfully ties his hands -- only to place a pillow over his face. His body shudders -- half climax, half struggle -- until his muscles go limp. The sexy assassin has struck again.
This movie, a soft core porn mystery, features Justine Jolie as Layla, a classy hit woman whose trademark killing technique is to seduce her male victim, then slay him when he's most helpless -- at the moment of orgasm. What a way to go. Joli is a beautiful, desirable woman and -- since she's naked in most scenes -- it's easy to see how she could manipulate lustful men. After she snuffs the playboy (played by good looking muscleboy Pete Jenkins) we see her coolly accepting her payment for a job well done.
Into this cozy arrangement comes Max, another contract killer who has been given a contract on Layla. Max is played by Jason Sarcinelli. Sarcinelli is a amateur boxer/bodybuilder turned actor whose credits include some action flicks and a number of soft core adult films. It's easy to see him in either -- he's got the Hollywood good looks of a lover boy and the sculpted physique of an action star. He quickly seduces Layla's sexy secretary Serena (Asian-American beauty Michelle Maylene) as a way to get to Layla. Their lovemaking, which starts out with Sarcinelli wearing just a pair of skin tight boxer briefs, goes hot and heavy with Serena clearly ready to switch loyalties. Meanwhile, Damon, who arranges Layla's hits, after paying her for the dead playboy, informs her that he has a new victim lined up. Imagine Layla's surprise when it turns out to be Max. Suspecting something fishy, Layla seduces Damon -- a mysterious, heavily tattooed tough guy -- but lets him climax without taking his life. At the same time, Max is once again putting the moves on Serena, insisting she please him orally before culminating their lovemaking in his bed.
It isn't long before Max and Layla call a truce and join forces to discover who has ordered the hits on them. After both admitting to seducing their victims before offing them, Max wants to see her technique. This leads to a bout of steamy lovemaking where Layla shows him that Serena doesn't hold a candle to her oral skills, while he uses his obvious masculinity to drive his point home. As they build to a shuddering climax, Layla carefully maneuvers him into the same position the murdered playboy assumed and then -- when his groans signal a shattering orgasm -- places the pillow over his face, showing him how easy it is for a woman to get the best of a brutal stud like him.
A hidden video camera soon reveals that Serena and Damon are the two behind the contracts on Max and Layla. Unbeknownst to them, they are both marked for death by Max and Layla as they secretly watch them making love. Layla will kill the tattooed thug while Max looks forward to making love to -- and slaying -- the lovely Serena. In a long and hot sex scene we see Max practicing Serena's specialty this time, orally servicing her until she is whimpering with desire. Mounting her, he goes slow and hard, bringing her ever closer to what will be her last orgasm. The big hit man can't hold off either and, as they both climax, she screams his name in ecstasy. With a smug grin he then presses the pillow over her beautiful face and, though she struggles, he's far too strong for her and the deed is done.
In the last scene Layla, having already taken Damon's life, pours two glasses of champagne while complimenting Max on eliminating Serena using her technique. He tells her he "learned from the best," as these two sexy assassins toast their new partnership.
Vatos (2002)
El Barrio's Mean Streets Change Two Brothers
This movie follows the struggles of two Mexican-American brothers in L.A.'s Barrio. The younger one is Jose, played by up-and-coming latino heart throb Max Decker. Gerardo, his older brother, is played by bruiser Gary Cruz. Jose is a straight arrow who works in a law office while Gerardo has just been released from prison. Though Jose tries to set his older, wilder brother back on a path of work and family, the life of a "vato" (thug) pulls him the other way.
Jose gets Gerardo a job in his office's mail room, but Gerardo, whose former life as a street enforcer, is more accustomed to using his muscles than his mind and is soon bored. Enter Spider, a rival vato from his past and, in an ill advised move, Gerardo is soon involved delivering coke to Vargas, a tattooed bodybuilder who works with Spider. At the delivery, the testosterone level quickly rises with Vargas and Gerardo -- both of them powerfully built latinos -- flexing and trying to intimidate each other. The money and the drugs are too tempting and it's only a matter of time before one of the vatos makes his move. Guns are drawn and its Gerardo that offs the big muscleman with a clean shot to the head.
On the run now, Gerardo's only escape is to his former girlfriend Luchana's house. Luchana, played by hot latina beauty Ana Palma, at first wants nothing to do with him. But in a slow and steamy seduction, Gerardo wins her over and soon they are naked in her bed making passionate love. Meanwhile Spider, finding Vargas's dead body and the drugs and money missing, vows to make Gerardo and his brother pay. With his sidekick Shorty, the two vatos, dressed in black wifebeaters and shades, try to snuff Gerardo and Jose in a classic drive by shooting but only succeed in killing the brothers' innocent father.
The killing has a unanticipated effect on Jose, whose anger transforms him from an clean cut young striver to a revenge obsessed warrior. Though he holds Gerardo partly responsible for their father's death, he now wants his older brother to help transform him into a vato so he can help slay Spider. Calling on some street muscle to help, Gerardo initiates him the only way he knows how -- by administering a savage beating to his younger brother. It's hard to watch as the bigger, tougher vatos kick and punch the innocent boy till he is barely conscious, with Gerardo trying to deal him the most pain. With his body and handsome face bloodied and bruised, Jose staggers to Luchana's. Shocked that his own brother could punish him so brutally, she undresses him and, tenderly touching and caressing his ripped young body, slowly begins to make love to him. Though Jose knows that this is his brother's girlfriend, he cannot help responding and, his morals slipping away after the beating, gives her what she wants. In a telling moment, as he climaxes, we hear Luchana whisper in his ear "mi vato." His transformation is complete.
When Spider kidnaps Luchana, Gerardo and Jose prepare for their final confrontation. In a gun battle, wherein Spider is killed, Gerardo bravely sacrifices himself to give Jose time to free Luchana. Jose, looking pumped up in a wifebeater, with gang tattoos and gun in hand, stalks Shorty in a slow cat-and-mouse scene. He finds and disarms him and, though Shorty begs for his life, Jose -- now every inch a vato -- executes him in cold blood. Luchana is rescued and the movie should end here, but it doesn't.
The final scenes show Jose in the future. Dressed in a suit and the head of his own law firm, we think that he has turned his life around once again -- that is, until we see him on the phone arranging for a huge drug shipment. The movie is saying you don't have to wear a wifebeater and carry a gun to be a vato. This bit of irony at the end helps to make this movie a cut above the usual crime story outing. Add that to the star performances by Cruz, who is all muscle and physical force, and Decker, who brings smoldering sexuality and Hollywood good looks to his role, give us two latino studs to watch for in upcoming films.
Warrior of Justice (1995)
Young Warriors Face Older Muscle in the Ring
This isn't the best action movie you'll ever see, but it has its moments. It certainly doesn't break any new ground with a plot about underground martial arts death matches, but it does give us some new names and a few twists along the way. Eastern European martial arts champion Jorgo Ognenovski stars as George, a dojo owner. His nemesis is Verdugo, played by the famous latino movie muscleman Jorge Rivero.
Verdugo runs crowded underground fights where young martial arts students in top physical shape are recruited to face older more experienced thugs in no-holds-barred matches. The young studs, though ripped and in the peak of condition, don't really stand a chance against these hired killers. Verdugo's chief enforcers are a massive black professional wrestler and a sadistic biker who looks like a bodybuilder. They easily take the lives of these young men so that - in a sick sidelight to his fight business - Verdugo can harvests their organs for sale on the black market.
The movie begins with a match wherein Tony, a superbly muscled boy-next-door type, is slain by the black wrestler -- his neck carefully snapped to insure that, as Verdugo explains, "we don't want ruin the merchandise." Tony was a student of George's and after his disappearance, George begins to investigate. His girlfriend, a beautiful police detective, begs him to leave the investigation up to her, but we can see that George is a true warrior bent on justice and even his sexy girlfriend can't dissuade him. She certainly tries in a number of steamy sex scenes including one where, after a sweaty workout, she slowly strips him and makes love to his powerful physique.
His investigation bears fruit when he meets Gary, a young martial arts student Verdugo has tried to recruit. Gary is a good kid who, though a tough fighter, doesn't think he could ever kill anyone in the ring. Agreeing to help George, the babyface Gary must first convince Verdugo that he is a true badass and gets his opportunity when he is taunted by one of Verdugo's goons. Gary shows off his moves, muscling the bigger man to the ground and, remembering that he has to play the "bad boy," savagely breaks his arm. That display of brutality and Gary's obviously well-conditioned body make him a natural for Verdugo's main event.
As the final matches begin, George sneaks in, just in time to see the black assassin snuff another muscleboy. Gary, who has also witnessed the boy's execution, knows now it's either kill or be killed. In a furious fight with the muscular biker, Gary gives as good as he gets, but the bad guy's skills are too much for the kid. In a twisted ritual, we see the muscleman kiss his fingertips and touch them to Gary's forehead --- the Kiss of Death. Before George can save him, the big man delivers a death blow, ending the young stud's life.
Enraged, George quickly dispatches the biker and, when the wrestler enters the ring, pummels his massive body with kicks and punches until he's dead. At the same moment the cops, lead by George's girlfriend, burst in to arrest everyone present. In the confusion, Verdugo escapes and George tracks him down for the final battle. Like true martial arts warriors, they choose swords and, both shirtless by the pool, we see a terrific battle between the younger George and the bigger, more muscular Verdugo. Back and forth it rages until George sees his opportunity. His blade slips in and slits Verdugo's throat, the body falling into the pool where it floats in a spreading cloud of red. Justice has been done.
Though predictable with production values of un-even quality, this movie does offer some great fight scenes. Best are the younger, up-and-coming martial arts boys who deserve a movie of their own in the future.
Road House 2: Last Call (2006)
Johnaton Schaech plays Patrick Swayze's son in Road House 2
Patrick Swayze built his movie reputation on sexy good looks and hard-fisted action. The best example was the popular "Road House," where Swayze flexed his muscles as a bouncer in a backwoods bar, putting the bad guys on the floor -- some of them permanently. Road House 2 brings us Johnathon Schaech playing Swayze's son in a copy of the original that isn't half bad.
Schaech plays Tanner, a DEA agent who learns his uncle Nate, owner of the Black Pelican Bar in Louisiana, is in the hospital after an attack by drug dealers. Nate raised Tanner after his dad (the original Swayze) was mysteriously killed. Now, a lowlife named Wild Bill wants Nate's bar. Wild Bill is played by Jake Busey -- yep, his old man is crazy Gary Busey and the kid looks like the apple didn't fall far. With a linebacker's build and a mean streak a mile wide, Wild Bill used to be the Pelican's toughest bouncer until Nate fired him for selling dope. His chief henchman is Marcus, a black street thug who is big, bad and all muscle.
In order to fill Swayze's big shoes, Schaech has got to show the same physicality and fighting skills the first movie showcased -- and the kid does. In one scene, we see him in just gym shorts working out on the heavy bag, throwing punches and barefoot kicks. The young Schaech has a sculpted torso, rippled with muscle. Early on we get to compare him to Wild Bill when we see Busey in a hot tub attended by two topless hookers. Though the girls make him grin and close his eyes with pleasure, his muscular chest and arms, covered in tattoos, let us know this is one badass dude.
Tanner soon learns that the local police are in Wild Bill's pocket from Dep. Hendricks, a tough redneck cop, who urges Tanner to go home. The only ones in his corner are the Pelican's bouncers -- especially Chubby, a built young football jock. But among the bouncers is Luther, a heavily muscled brute, who is playing a double game. Tanner finds another ally in local beauty, Beau, who is not only sexy but can handle a gun. They make love in a sizzling scene where both hard bodies are on display.
Throughout the movie the action is hot and heavy with plenty of shoot outs and bar fights. When Tanner discovers Luther's betrayal, he brutally snuffs the muscleman in a savage fight. The final showdown occurs when Wild Bill's gang attacks the bar. At the very moment that it looks like Marcus has got the drop on Tanner, a gunshot ends the black thug's life. Tanner looks up to see Dep. Hendricks and gives the hillbilly lawman the thumbs up. Of course, the main event is the fight between Wild Bill and Tanner. The two are evenly matched with Schaech's muscled physique vs. Busey's brute strength. They fight with fists, kicks and even chains. A mystery is solved when an excited Wild Bill, who has his massive arms wrapped around Tanner's neck, ready to snap it, whispers "I can't believe I killed your father and now I get to kill his son." Enraged by that knowledge, Tanner comes roaring back and pummels Wild Bill into half-consciousness. Then, after telling him that he owes him for his dad's death and the attack on his uncle, Tanner makes Wild Bill pay the ultimate price. We have to believe that Swayze would have done the same thing -- like father like son.
The Eliminator (2004)
Martial arts muscleman Bas Rutten's first movie is a winner
Bas Rutten was a legend in international UFC and he makes his debut as a world-class action star in The Eliminator. The Dutch fighter is ruggedly handsome and built like the proverbial brick lavatory. Spending the whole movie in tight fitting under armor (when he's not shirtless) this film showcases both his ripped physique and awesome fighting skills.
Re-working the "Most Dangerous Game" plot one more time, we find Varley (Rutten) a some-time cage fighter trying to pay off some gambling debts by winning a speedboat race run by the shady Dawson, played by Michael Rooker. When Varley wins the race - after causing another competitor's death in a fatal crash - Dawson realizes he's got just the rough and tumble guy he needs and drugs him. Varley and six other badasses wake up on Dawson's private jungle island where they will be hunted for sport by trained military personnel until only one remains. The game is watched by seven rich degenerates that have each sponsored one of the hunted and who stand to win $25 million if their man is left standing. Of course, the seven are encouraged to also kill on another to improve their own odds.
From a fortified mansion on the island's highest point, the game is monitored, as each night teams of hunters are sent out to kill as many of the hunted as they can. One thing this flick has going for it is the quality of the fighters cast as the seven hunteds. Jamal Duff, a former N.Y. Giant football standout at 6'8, 305 lbs of black intimidation, plays Darius, a prisoner snatched from death row. Latino muscleman Marco Ruas, at 6'2, 240 lbs, isn't far behind, playing the Colombian killer Salvador. The only other "good guy" on the island is the cop Jesse, played by Paul Logan -- a familiar action star with the kind of good looks and sculpted body that landed him his own centerfold in Playgirl . The lovely Santha, played by Danielle Burgio, combines beauty with lethal fighting skills. Even the anonymous hunters in their skintight spandex uniforms are built young studs.
With trained killers like these stalking the island, the death matches come fast and furious. Varley and Jesse team up to ice Salvador with the big Dutchman holding the powerful latino so Jesse can drive a homemade spear into his chest. When the beautiful Santha joins them, Jesse isn't so sure about her motives, but Varley is smitten with her sexy good looks. Later, when they all strip down to wash off in a stream, you can see she's also got an eye for Bas Rutten's chiseled physique. Alone, she begins to make love to him causing Varley to close his eyes in ecstasy. The next second Jesse appears to dispatch Santha with a chop to the neck. Varley is furious until he sees the knife that was in her hand. He thanks his buddy for saving his life and Jesse tells him to "stop thinking with the wrong head."
Varley and Jesse continue to make their way to the mansion, slaying the hunters they encounter. Darius and Varley finally square off in an epic fight and it takes every ounce of Varley's strength to break the black muscleman's neck. When they reach the mansion, the two manage to take their revenge on Dawson and his henchman before fleeing the island in a stolen helicopter. All in all, this movie delivers on the action and definitely makes us want to see big Bas Rutten kicking ass in another one.
13 Dead Men (2003)
Prisoners vs Guards in Martial Arts Action
This movie takes place in a corrupt prison where the warden is a psycho, the guards are killers and the inmates are used and abused. The plot follows two con men: Caj, a black street thug played by rapper Mystikal and Malachi, played by latino martial arts fighter Ashley Tucker. Caj spends most of his time establishing his dominance by dispensing brutal beatings to the baddest white cons he can find, while Malachi, who won't reveal the location of some stolen diamonds the warden wants, is repeatedly punished by the warden's chief goons -- Torres and the 6'2, 300 lbs muscleman, Crandall.
When the guards can't break Malachi, the warden arranges for Caj to use his talent for dealing out pain to make the latino talk. The crowd of cons goes crazy when Malachi arrives for the fight pumped and shirtless, revealing a powerfully sculpted body, while Caj, likewise stripped for action, flaunts his chiseled black physique. They fight to a draw and, later, become friends when Malachi promises Caj a cut of the diamonds.
Outside the prison are Santos and his crew who also want the diamonds. Santos is played by action star Lorenzo Lamas. Lamas looks great here, trim and muscular and his fight scenes are crisp and authentic. His plan is to break into the prison, free Malachi and recover the diamonds. Stealthily, they infiltrate the prison, taking out the guards one-by-one until the warden discovers them and sounds the alarm. Crandall finds one of Lamas's crew and, after a savage fight, snaps his neck. Finally, Lamas finds Malachi's cell and frees him and Caj. In an awesome fight with the hulking Crandall, Lamas avenges his dead buddy by using a metal chair to bring down the big man, breaking his neck with a satisfying crack. Payback continues when Caj beats Torres to death and the warden meets his end at the hands of Malachi. Though there are some surprises, the fights tie up all the loose ends.
Prison movies are only as good as the guys with the muscle to play the cons and guards. Here Mystikal uses his physicality to dominate the yard; while Tucker lets his body do the talking every time he takes off his shirt. The guards, especially the impressive Crandall, are as badass as the cons. Finally, Lamas proves again why he was always in demand for these action roles.
Latin Dragon (2004)
Whether it's good guys or bad guys - it's latino muscle all the way.
This martial arts action movie should be titled Latin "dragons," because most every fighter in it is a latino badass. The hero is Fabian Carrillo, a martial arts champion in real life, cast as a former hit-man for the CIA. We see him in his past life, assassinating whomever the government told him to, but leaving him scarred and wanting to do right. His brother is a tough L.A. street cop, played by Luis Ramos. Together they are trying to protect the residents of the barrio from a gang of vatos working for Gary Busey and his main enforcer, Lorenzo Lamas.
The movie is non-stop action with shootouts, street fights and assassinations -- with the violence mostly latino on latino. Carillo and Ramos are both well-muscled studs whose brutal skills raise the body count early and often. The vatos are led by Robert LaSardo, whose ripped physique is covered in gang tats, and who kills without remorse. His crew is, likewise, street-muscle bodybuilders. Though impressive, their size doesn't help when Carillo raids the vatos's headquarters and, in a series of awesome fights, slays most of these inked latino musclemen with his bare hands.
There are crosses and double crosses, including when Busey coldly discards his henchman LaSardo by ordering Lamas to put a bullet in the vato's head so he can set up Carillo for the murder. Lamas carries out the assignment, leaving the alpha dog's body on display for the cops – including Carillo's brother – to find. His arrest leads to a series of showdowns and more surprise double crosses, with Carillo first taking down a huge anglo biker named "Mad Dog" (pretty much the only non-latino he ices in this flick,) before savagely executing Lamas in a vicious fight. Finally the evil Busey is made to pay the ultimate price at the lethal hands of the Latin Dragon.
This movie might be the first martial arts flick to feature a goodlooking latino stud as a kickass hero and Carillo definitely fits the bill. Though a villain, LaSardo's powerful physical presence spotlights him, especially in his fight scenes. In fact, most of the fights feature built young latinos whose martial arts moves and sculpted bodies make for some convincing action. Whether you are latino or not, if you enjoy martial arts, you'll like "Latin Dragon."
Voodoo Academy (2000)
Bible College, Six-Pack Abs and Satan
While most horror directors feature lovely young girls menaced by evil, director David DeCoteau has turned the tables with films where handsome young frat boys are the victims. Voodoo Academy is one such movie and we know it from the opening scene, where a built young stud, clad only in his tighty whities and white socks, is bound to a table. A priest and a busty woman take turns massaging his near naked body until he is in the throes of orgasm – whereupon he is slain in a voodoo sacrifice.
Welcome to Carmichael Bible College, a male-only school for pure minded boys who have pledged to remain virgins. Rev. Carmichael and Mrs. Bouvier (see above) need six young male virgins for their nefarious voodoo ceremony. The whole movie revolves around these six. In a way, they are like the seven dwarfs – each with a defining characteristic. Chris, the new boy, is played by Riley Smith, who's featured on TV's new 90210 and has played tough guy roles in several action movies. Here, he is the smart guy that quickly catches on to the weird stuff happening at the school. His best friend is Billy, played by Kevin Calisher, a wiseass with a sculpted body. Then there's Rusty, played by Huntley Ritter from the movie Bring It On. Rusty is a teenage bodybuilding champ whose powerful young physique is always on display. Mike, Sam and Paul (Drew Fuller from TV's Charmed) complete the six.
Though the plot is murky, it comes down to drugging the unsuspecting boys with a lust-inducing potion and then luring them – one by one - up to Mrs. Bouvier's room where she seduces them before sacrificing them to Satan. After avoiding the drug, Chris wakes up one night and witnesses its effects on his buddy Billy. Billy, asleep and naked except for a tight pair of Tommy Hilfiger boxer briefs, is writhing in ecstasy, running his hands over his smooth, ripped body. With his bare chest and chiseled abs glistening with sweat, he works himself up to an orgasm in his sleep. Looking around the room, Chris realizes that each of the near naked boys is likewise involved in a wet dream of their own.
When Rusty, clad only in briefs and gym socks, goes sleepwalking, Chris, also in his skivvies, follows him to Mrs. Bouvier's room where he watches her run her hands over Rusty's muscled body and lick his impressive six-pack. When her seduction is complete, the young stud is ready for death and Satan accepts another sacrifice. The next day Chris tries to convince the other boys of their danger, but the drug is still working on them and transforming them from innocents to thugs. Flaunting their hard bodies and now dressed in wife beaters or skin tight black tee shirts, they've become "bad boys" waiting for their turn with Mrs. Bouvier.
One by one the other boys are targeted. Rev. Carmichael finds Paul soaking in the bathtub and offers him a soothing shoulder massage. While the boy moans with pleasure under the priests strong hands, the Rev slips a potion into the water and watches the young stud succumb. Mrs. Bouvier seduces another boy with her demonic charms and adds him to the body count.
Finally, only Chris, Billy and Sam are left and it's up to Chris to save them with a few tricks of his own. The Rev's and Mrs. Bouvier's magic finally backfires and they are destroyed. The boys, however, are permanently changed and their new badass attitude becomes them. Like Chris says, "Hey, I really wanted to go to Business School anyway."
A Force of One (1979)
Chuck Norris and Bill "Superfoot" Wallace Square off in this Exciting Movie.
The 70s saw the explosion of martial arts movies and with it the introduction of Chuck Norris. Few remember that he began as a bad guy, a hit-man called in to slay Bruce Lee in "Way of the Dragon." In that flick, a brutish young Norris, looking all muscle and chest hair, met his death at the hands of the invincible Lee. But Norris went on to play the hero - as a cop, martial arts trainer or American soldier - in a string of action movies through the 70s and 80s.
"Force of One" was one of the best. It features Norris as Matt Logan, a karate champion and trainer, who is called upon by the local police to help them break a drug ring. The ring employs a shadowy assassin who uses martial arts to kill cops that get to close to cracking the case. The movie starts with two undercover cops following a skateboarding kid, suspected of dealing drugs, into an empty store. Within minutes, the cops are ambushed by a silent masked killer who expertly snaps both their necks. The killer first punishes them with kicks so powerful they raise them right off the floor, letting us know early on that this is no average street thug, but rather a highly trained martial artist.
The scene cuts to Norris battering an opponent in a kickboxing match. Norris looks like the champ he is with a chiseled fighter's physique and lighting fast moves. Later at his karate school, Lt. Dunne (Clu Gulager) asks him for his help in training cops in martial arts. Though Norris is busy preparing for his upcoming championship fight, he's implored by a beautiful policewoman, played Jennifer O'Neill, and by his adopted teenage son Charlie, himself a junior karate champ, to help stop the flow of drugs to kids.
At first the cops themselves are resistant to the training, thinking it's just a gimmick. Moskowitz (James Whitmore, Jr.,) a tough street cop, grumbles "What good does it do me to be able to bust a two by four with my bare hands?" Meanwhile two more cops are seen following the same young skateboarder. It's obvious the kid is just a decoy to lure cops into danger. He does his job well and watches as the assassin gets the drop on the cops and again snuffs each officer with expert karate moves.
Chuck's romance with Jennifer O'Neil starts to bloom, while his son Charlie starts some sleuthing on his own. When they all attend a karate match together to check out Chuck's next opponent, we are introduced to Jerry Sparks, played by Bill Wallace. Wallace was a world champion martial artist for real and his ability to win matches with savage kicks gave him the nickname "Superfoot." Superbly muscled, his physical presence makes a perfect foil for the sculpted Norris. When Charlie discovers that Wallace is the mysterious assassin, he tries to fight him, but he's no match for Superfoot's lethal feet. When his body is found, Norris vows revenge and the final showdown between the two warriors is set.
Their fight is the highpoint of the movie. Evenly matched, Norris and Wallace duke it out, with Wallace's feet and Chuck's fists front and center. Finally, Chuck turns the tables and delivers a devastating kick of his own. He grabs the stunned Wallace's neck and twists around, hauling him onto his back and "hanging" him. He keeps the hold on long after Superfoot's body has gone limp, exacting a brutal revenge for his slain son. With his execution, the rest of the drug ring is easily rounded up. This fight is the climax of an exciting movie which is worth viewing just to see these two martial arts champions in action.
The Bachelor (2002)
Bachelor Sean Lowe shows some muscle.
Not since Jake Pavelka – who had a body like his fitness star brother Jessie - has the Bachelor featured a physique like the one Sean Lowe sports this season. Lowe, 28, is a 6'3" Texan who is still built like the champion linebacker he was at Kansas State. Along with his boy-next-door good looks, his ripped body makes him one of the sexiest bachelors they have ever featured. And he knows it too.
He seems happy that the show never misses an opportunity to showcase his sculpted muscles. Whether it's working out shirtless or lounging by the pool, Sean's near-perfect body is always on display. The girls on the show constantly talk about it and some even encourage him to take his shirt off when they're together. Sean has fun with an "aw shucks" attitude, but he knows his body is hot. The show's producers also know they have something America wants to see and they purposely put him in situations where going bare-chested is easy.
A case in point is the latest photo shoot date where Sean and the girls posed for the covers of romance novels. With his bare torso shaved smooth and oiled to highlight every ripple, Sean can only smile as one delighted beauty runs her hands over his six-pack abs. Trying to start out slow, as a sexy cowboy, Sean wears a shirt but leaves it unbuttoned. By the end of the shoot, the women competed with each other to see who could rip it open far enough to nuzzle up against his bare skin. While the camera clicked, Sean tried to look nonchalant but casually flexed to make sure each picture showed him off at his best. After the shoot, Sean and the ladies wound up at a pool party, and there he was again in a bathing suit, giving the girls – and the rest of us at home – another chance to see his impressive physique.
Sean knows his body makes him a sex object and it looks like he loves having it on display. The show is just beginning and the coming attractions have a lot of beach and pool scenes. Will we get a shot of Mr. Lowe in a speedo? Clearly, Sean wants us to stay tuned and see.
Shottas (2002)
Bob Marley's son in ultra-violent drug tale.
Like "The Harder they Come" and "Scarface" (both of which it echoes,) this movie is about young men growing up hard on the mean streets of Jamaica, using violence to rise to the top of the drug world. The Jamaican locale is presented as a gritty, urban jungle where young children play at being "shottas," Jamaican lingo for gangsters. In fact, the very first scene shows the major characters as children playing cops and robbers, only here the robbers are the good guys. When one of them puts his toy gun to the head of his playmate and goes bang, he yells out "I killed the snitch." That theme of gun violence pervades the whole movie before it's over and you get to see some wild action as well as some gruesome murders.
The film stars Kymani Marley, the son of the legendary Bob Marley. The senior Marley is regarded as a god on his island and clearly Kymani is following the same path to superstardom. With smoldering good looks, neat dreads and a soulful demeanor, Kymani Marley takes the lead early on. While the old man was spending time in the studio, it appears his boy Kymani was spending time in the gym. The young gangster has a smooth, muscular body, broad shoulders and narrow waist, which the movie showcases in action scenes and in the bedroom. His posse consists of the equally physical Spragga Benz and some rough and tumble Jamaican street muscle.
Physically, Kymani has this role nailed, but you have to wonder how the son of one of the world's most spiritual entertainers – a guy who preached peace – would feel about his son playing the part of a ruthless thug that deals out death as casually as cigarettes. Kymani is a total badass and his crew does whatever he tells them. In one riveting scene, they invade the home of a burly Jamaican dealer. They strip him to his boxers, discover his stash and then tell him they will let him go. So smooth is Kymani that you actually believe it - until you see the knife slowly drawn across the big man's throat.
The moral ambiguity is only underlined when a police raid (the Jamaican cops look like gang members – some in uniform – some shirtless,) indifferently fires tech 9s into a crowd of party goers. After slaying a white politician who betrayed them, they flee to Miami. Interestingly enough, the politician is the only white death that occurs in this movie. All the other violence is brother-to-brother – something else the movie seems to be asking us to ponder. There's a shootout at a disco, shootouts on motorbikes, execution of a rival kingpin (a gun forced into his mouth) and all along the way, sex with some beautiful women. Much is made of the allure of the shotta and Marley plays the role, strutting bare-chested or wearing a wife beater, but always with a pistol jammed in his sagging waistband. Of course the gun is part of the attraction and, when one admirer begins to run her hands over his ripped body, she actually purrs when she touches it.
The second half of the movie, spent in Miami, gets a little repetitive. More turf wars, more executions, and more hot tubs with topless models. There's enough bloodshed at the end of it to satisfy Shakespeare and the fates of the shottas are resolved – some better than others. Throughout it all is Kymani Marley. Already a big star and reigning sex symbol in Jamaica, one imagines his smoking sexuality, fighting skills and action creds will get him a crossover role --- he's earned it. His father may have been a Man of Peace, but his kid is a stone killah, mon.
Firepower (1993)
Death matches in future L.A. let cops play judge, jury and executioner.
Imagine if certain parts of a city, called the Hell Zone, were set aside for criminal activity. Every bad guy could set up shop and rape, murder and steal to his heart's content. The frustrated cops could only stand and watch. If that weren't enough, inside the Zone is the Death Ring, where the baddest bad boys fight to the death while the crowd screams for blood. That's the future in L.A.(2007!) the way this movie sees it and the Hell Zone is where all the action takes place. Into this brutal world comes Chad McQueen (son of the great Steve McQueen) and martial arts muscleman Gary Daniels, as two undercover cops that have to infiltrate the Death Ring and fight their way out.
Like his father, McQueen has a hard bodied physicality and genuine star quality. Playing a cop and a fighter in the ring, he sports the athletic build and macho ink that makes him a believable badass. His fights are exciting and realistic. He is the movie's focal point and, along with showcasing his lethal talents, he's featured in some steamy love scenes with Alisha Dal. In the sack, he's a chip off the old block and that smoldering McQueen sexuality has Ms. Dal purring.
Gary Daniels is a reliable component of any action flick and in this one he plays the crazy sidekick and frustrated cop who relishes the freedom to snuff out criminals at will once he's in the Hell Zone. After dispatching one hulking loser, Daniels gives a bloodthirsty grin to McQueen, saying "I wish we could do this in the real world." Though he's not the star, the bare-chested Daniels really shines in every fight he has. He's in superb shape – almost competition quality – and his rock hard physique is on display throughout the movie.
Two other fighters standout in the casting of this movie. Art Camacho plays a strong young latino fighter trying to feed his family and make a name for himself. He befriends the two cops and together they take out their share of goons. The real bad guy is the Swordsman, played by pro wrestling's Ultimate Warrior. Unbelievably buff - but given no lines to deliver - the Swordsman is left to do his communicating in the ring where he slays grungy lowlifes in some awesome action scenes. Between Daniels and the Swordsman, both of whom take turns flexing and strutting around shirtless in the ring, it begins to resemble a Mr. Olympia contest, with the chiseled Camacho and McQueen not far behind.
There are a few surprises along the way, and it's fun seeing cops suddenly free to make criminals pay the ultimate price for their misdeeds. Even the good guys get off on a little payback when they slash and burn some tough outlaw in the Death Ring. The movie rips off everything from "Escape from New York" to "Thunderdome," but it doesn't matter since the plot exists only to let guys battle it out in front of a screaming crowd. When those guys are prime muscle like Daniels and the Swordsman, or young lions like McQueen and Camacho, this movie rocks.
The Marine 2 (2009)
Ted DiBiase is the one reason to see this one.
This movie, like The Marine, is brought to you by the WWE. The first film was to introduce wrestling superstar John Cena to action movies. Marine 2 follows by bringing in WWE's young powerhouse Ted DiBiase, Jr. as the next hero in this sequel. Cena played his jarhead all muscle and stunt work, but DiBiase is a whole nother kind of cat.
DiBiase is pro wrestling royalty, being the son of Ted DiBiase, Sr., the so-called "Million Dollar Man." The young DiBiase does his dad proud with a great performance and excellent fighting skills. In shirtless scenes, DiBiase - with the ripped body of a professional athlete – establishes his physical presence and the film never really strays from showcasing him.
DiBiase plays a Marine sniper whose last mission turned out bad and Lara Cox is his very hot wife. He plans to get some needed R & R at the plush tropical resort in the Philippines where his wife works, but instead, when terrorists attack, he has to fight his way out to rescue her and the other hostages. The plot shamelessly rips off "Die Hard," but the locations are beautiful, the women are gorgeous and there's cold blooded action throughout the film -- and DiBiase is all about the action in this movie. In one long fight scene against two ninja assassins, DiBiase matches them hold for hold, taking out each one with some deadly wrestling moves of his own.
The scenery is beautiful and there are more wild shootouts, explosions and evil villains for any one movie. What more could you ask for? DiBiase puts in a good first effort here. Tough, likable and built for action, he could go places. Hopefully his next movie will give him a better chance to show us what he's got.
The President's Man (2000)
Chuck Norris shows that older guys can still pack some muscle in this kickass action flick.
This made for TV movie gives Chuck Norris fans some nostalgic scenes from the past combined with a promise for a new series to come. Norris plays Joshua McCord, a college professor who moonlights as the president's man in emergencies. The movie leads off with some far-fetched, but entertaining, intrigue in rescuing the First Lady from terrorists. But the real story revolves around Chuck's desire to train a young agent to work with him. Dylan Neal stars as Deke Slater, a spec ops soldier falsely accused and imprisoned. A hard charger with an attitude, Slater is targeted for death in the brig, and winds up having to slay one of his attackers to survive. Chuck steps in and recruits the angry Slater to work with him. In a number of well done scenes we see the older Norris training, lifting weights and sparring with the younger man. Its great watching Chuck, at 60 years old, hold his own with the 31 year old Neal. When we see him bare-chested, Norris can still show off the muscular build that made him a Hollywood legend. Slowly but surely, Slater loses his attitude and comes to see Chuck almost as a father figure. Together they become a lethal team of silent assassins and are ready for whatever mission the president assigns them. That mission comes fast enough when American women and children are captured by terrorists in Colombia. Chuck learns that General Tran, an old enemy from Viet Nam, is behind the plot. With this extra incentive, Deke and Chuck parachute into the jungle to rescue the hostages. As soon as they land, the action heats up. As they infiltrate the terrorists' camp, Chuck uses some old school martial arts moves to break the neck of an unwary sentry. As soon as we hear the "snap," we see Chuck give a little grin, as if to say "see – the old man's still got it!" Less than a minute later, Deke – whose own shirtless scenes revealed a chiseled physique – uses pure muscle to likewise twist a bad guy's head with a satisfying crack. Throughout the action, it's as if they are in competition to see who can rack up the biggest body count. As they close in on Gen. Tran, the camera alternates between each man as they employ different techniques to silently kill a dozen terrorists. This movie has some fun throwbacks to Chuck's earlier movies. It's no surprise that Chuck has a final showdown with General Tran (played by Soon-Tek Oh, whom Norris fans will recognize from previous run ins with Chuck in his earlier Viet Nam films,) and it's especially satisfying to see Chuck finish him off with the same signature "hangman" hold he used to break Bill "Superfoot" Wallace's neck in "Force of One." The end of the movie has Deke Slater becoming a fully fledged member of Chuck's team with the promise of more missions to come. For anybody that admires an older guy's ability to play an action hero, Norris is your man, while Dylan Neal makes an impressive debut as an up and coming movie badass.
Barbarian (2003)
No plot but lots of action featuring professional muscle man Michael O'Hearn
I found this DVD in the dollar store bin and have to say it was easily worth the $1 (plus tax.) Conan spawned a lot of these muscle man-with-a-sword flicks and this one featured 4 times Mr. Universe Michael O'Hearn. Unlike Arnold or Lou Ferrigno, whose steroid use left them bloated and musclebound, O'Hearn is all natural with a leaner, more ripped look giving his fighting scenes a lot more appeal. A good looking guy who can actually act, he's trapped in this low budget mishmash. Wisely though, they put him in almost every scene to make the most of his star quality. Some of the fight scenes are good and O'Hearn dispatches bad guys as easily with his bare hands as he does with a sword. He also has a couple of love scenes with some bare-breasted beauties which lets him display a lot more of his impressive physique. The plot is only an excuse for the martial arts action and that's where O'Hearn shines. His opponents are no-name local muscle (it appears to have been filmed in Russia judging from the names) but they only exist to give O'Hearn an opportunity to show off his lethal talents. If martial arts muscle is your thing, O'Hearn does his best to deliver.
Champions (1997)
Underground martial arts fights with big names like Ken Shamrock and Lee Reherman make this movie worth seeing.
This movie revolves around an underground tournament where the "best of the best" fight to the death while bets are placed on the outcome. We've seen it all before. However, what makes this one a cut above is watching guys like UFC legend Ken Shamrock, American Gladiator Lee Reherman, Louis Mandylor and famed Hollywood stuntman Jeff Wolfe, in action. Even perennial bad guy Danny Trejo shows up nasty as ever. Though he doesn't fight, Trejo definitely gives a great performance as the muscle behind the tournament. It remains the fights that drive the plot and some of them are excellent. Be warned, these are death matches so even the "good" guys snuff out their opponents (though conveniently their opponents are usually villains that have it coming.) Shamrock must have trained like an animal for this role and looks like a bodybuilder, while Reherman has fun playing a white collar executive who reveals his inner beast and worked out physique in the ring. It isn't gents only, with Bobbie Blackford as a female cop who takes the life of a vicious ex con in one of the most brutal matches. The ending is somewhat muddled with explosions and firefights, but when this movie stays where it belongs – in the ring with killer martial arts action – it's a winner.