stamp-587-149747 Reviews

Anyone But You (2023)

Even the world's biggest romcom fan couldn't stand it

[1/10 · 28 April 2024]

My wife--the world's biggest romcom fan mentioned in the title--had to see this one. Within 10 minutes, I knew it was going to be terrible. My wife managed to make it almost 1/2 way through before she gave up, saying that it was bad. For a romcom to be bad in her book, it has to be beyond terrible. I won't get into all of the reasons why this is terrible, as other have summarized it well, but I will just add that, in my book, it is no redeeming quality, not even minimally so.

As an aside, I would be willing to wager a large sum that the vast majority of the higher ratings for this piece of garbage are fake. There is simply no way that any sentient human being would rate this movie (and I use the term "movie" loosely) highly. It's unfortunate that it is so easy to fake ratings, and that is only going to get worse as chatbots improve. It's inevitable that some people will resort to fake reviews when so much money is on the line.

Black Mirror: The National Anthem (2011) Season 1, Episode 1

beyond stupid

[1/10 · 30 May 2023]

I've only seen 2 Black Mirror episodes so far, with the first being "USS Callister" (the Star Trek episode) and this one being the second. I thought the Star Trek rip-off thing was filled with major logic flaws and that kind of ruined it for me, but it was at least watchable. This one, on the other hand, was terrible in every respect, and I can't see how it's currently at a user rating of 7.7 here on IMDB. The premise of this episode has some potential, but it quickly spirals downward into something so utterly ridiculous that even the maximum suspension of disbelief that I could muster was not nearly enough.

I'm a huge fan of the original Twilight Zone, and I really want to like this series. I'll give it one or 2 more tries, but unless I can find something more appealing that the 2 episodes I've seen so far, I'll give up on it.

Do yourself a favor and go watch a few classic TZ episodes. Even with the primitive special effects of the day, it shows the potential that exists for a quality show of this genre.

Marcella (2016–2021)

How bad is it? Let me count the ways...

[1/10 · 15 February 2023]

My wife thought this would be good, but I had a hard time getting thru the first episode, and I hope that I don't have to watch any more of it. This is bad in so many ways, it's hard to keep track of them all--here are just a few...

First, it's totally sick and uncalled-for to show a murder in the level of detail seen here. I fully expect that at some point they'll have blood spurting out in slow motion. Second, being a Netflix show, there is a lot of reality-defying wokeness, which is annoying and completely breaks the spell. To take just one small, but telling example, in Marcella's world, women like to beat the crap out of men who are much bigger and stronger. Third, the plot is just plain dorky, with more contrived twists and turns than a bag of pretzels, (If given the choice, take my advice and choose the bag of pretzels.) Fourth, the pacing is awful, with lots of obvious filler, including endless blank stares, unconvincing tears, pointless sidetrack, and so on.

Do yourself a favor and avoid this show.

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022)

Burn baby burn!

[4/10 · 5 January 2023]

I thought I'd like this one, but I found it surprisingly hard to watch, and only made it about 1/3rd of the way through before giving up. The stop-motion animation is indeed impressive, and that's worth 4 stars. However, the story is presented in a dreary, depressing, and dark way, which is one reason it's hard to watch. Another, bigger reason it's hard to watch is that the wooden boy's dialog is moronic, sounding like it was actually written by a 5 year-old, and not even an intelligent 5 year-old at that. IMHO, far too many movies aimed at kids treat the audience as if the are brain dead (e.g., most recent Disney animated movies). But, it is particularly inexcusable for this movie, as it's not really a kids movie. I was kind of hoping that somebody would do us all a favor, and toss the wooden boy into the fire.

Falling for Christmas (2022)

Not terrible!

[6/10 · 29 December 2022]

I had low, low, low expectations, but as far as cheesy Netflix Christmas movies go, this one is definitely above average. Yes, there is a lot of wooden acting, and the dialog makes recent Disney animated movies look deep in comparison. But, Lindsay is actually not too bad, the lead actor (the normal one, not the doofus wacky one) is reasonably good, and, as everyone agrees, the child actress is great.

For the most part, Netflix kept the woke quotient within the tolerable range, but I did still have to deduct 1 star because of a stupid, moronic, and totally pointless thing involving the wacky dude towards the end. I won't say more, as I don't want to give away the plot (such as it is...), but that was totally unnecessary and smacks of extremely lazy writing, even by the low standards of cheesy Netflix Christmas movies.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Ridiculous, yet ridiculously good...

[8/10 · 20 December 2022]

First of all, the entire premise of this movie is completely ridiculous. I won't explain why, as that would give away plot details, but it's obvious if you spend 30 seconds thinking about it. So, don't think about it! If you turn off you brain and play along, it's a ridiculously good movie. The action and special effects are great, the acting is fantastic, and there are even a few awesome laugh-out-loud moments.

Just for the record, I saw the original Top Gun in its theatrical release and thought it was pretty good, but to my mind, it was not super-duper-fantastic. I also generally hate sequels and remakes of any kind. So, when my wife insisted that we watch Top Gun: Maverick, I had low expectations. This movie far, far exceeded my expectations in every way. I can't go to 10 stars due to the logical incoherence of it, but I can see why a lot of the reviewers here feel that it's that good.

Wednesday (2022– )

Horrible, but not in a good way...

[2/10 · 30 November 2022]

I'm a huge fan of the old TV series and the movies are fantastic. Maybe I had my expectations too high, but I can't understand how anybody who has seen any of the previous incarnations of the Addams Family could rate this show highly. The only positive comment I have is that some of the special effects are not too bad; thus 2 stars, instead of 1. However, the negatives are many. First, the character of Gomez Addams is extremely awful, Mortica is boring, Pugsley is a non-entity, and they even manage to make Lurch and Thing uninteresting. The Wednesday character is easily the best of the bunch, but that's not saying much. And, true to the usual nauseating Netflix wokeness, all of the male characters are violent and/or dimwits.

I barely made it through the first episode, and based on the previews, it looks like it'll turn into a lame ripoff of Harry Potter. In any case, whatever direction it goes, it'll be going there without me.

There was so much potential here, it's really sad to see it all wasted.

The Wonder (I) (2022)

There is a reason why Twilight Zone episodes are 30 minutes...

[4/10 · 29 November 2022]

It seems to me that this would have made a very good 30 minute Twilight Zone episode. Instead, they stretch it out way, way, way beyond what the story can actually support. There are endless scenes where nothing happens, filled mostly with ominous music and heavy breathing. The gratuitous sex scene is so out of place that it's (unintentionally) laugh-out-load funny. And, as others have surely mentioned, the start and end are beyond silly, to the point of being downright annoying. As per any Netflix movie, there are a few plot holes, but at least they kept the silly woke stuff out of it, which is a plus.

Again, it could have (and should have) been a solid 30 minute vignette. Sadly, it is instead it is 30 minutes of good stuff embedded in a multi-hour snoozefest.

Iron Chef: Quest for an Iron Legend (2022– )

Netflix ruins another classic

[2/10 · 23 July 2022]

I'm 20 minutes into my first episode, and I'm sure I won't watch another one. I like Alton Brown but, as others have pointed out, the second host is worse than useless, the "chairman" is a major embarrassment, the cameramen must all be drunk, and the music is beyond annoying.

The original Iron Chef is one of my favorite cooking shows of all time. This version leaves a bad taste in my mouth...

Downton Abbey (2019)

Boring, yet predictable

[2/10 · 15 July 2022]

I watched most Downton Abbey series episodes, as my wife was a fanatic, and I had little choice. I didn't much like it, but some were very good (the penultimate episode was the best, IMHO). I figured the movie should be as good as the best episodes, and so I had reasonably high hopes for this. Unfortunately, the movie is dull, even by Downton Abbey standards. But, worse than that, it's almost entirely predictable. I won't list spoilers here, but of the half dozen or so plot twists, each could be seen coming for a half-hour, or more, before they actually happened. I had a seriously difficult time staying awake...

Downton Abbey (2010–2015)

disappointing

[3/10 · 10 June 2022]

I don't recall ever being more disappointed in a TV series. The first few episodes seemed to point to something that could be so much more than just another boring soap opera. But, already by the second season they jumped the shark, and the whole thing became a silly parody of itself. Sad, really. I give it 3 stars for the wonderful sets and attention to visual detail. But the writing, storylines, and dialog deteriorate rapidly--by the 4th season, I'd rather bang my head against a wall than watch this show.

Operation Mincemeat (2021)

Operation Soap Opera

[4/10 · 17 May 2022]

It's a great story that some numbskull decided to embed into a ridiculous fictional soap opera. The parts that deal with the actual story are compelling, but that seems to only comprise about 40% (at most) of the show. The remaining 60% (or more) is boring beyond belief. I can't understand why they didn't take a meat cleaver to this and make real mincemeat out of it (see what I did there?). I can watch almost anything about WWII, and even I could not make it thru this snoozer.

The one saving grace, which raises it from a 3 to a 4 in my rating, is that it had none of that usual woke nonsense that Netflix insists on including in anything that they produce.

Our Father (III) (2022)

Netflix turns gold into lead

[2/10 · 15 May 2022]

This topic has all the ingredients for an outstanding documentary. For one thing, there is bound to be a great deal of conflicted emotion among the people involved. The women desperately wanted to get pregnant and the doctor achieved that, while the offspring would be entirely different people if not for the doctor's methods. Yet, Netflix treats it as completely one-dimensional, from the annoying soundtrack (non-stop creepy background "music") to focusing way too much attention on the one kid who seems to have no life whatsoever other than obsessing over the doctor. There is one old couple who attempt to grapple with the ambiguity, and they are not on for nearly long enough to make much of it.

Since this is a Netflix show, I knew they'd have to try to make it about "racism" at some point. Netflix did not disappoint (actually, it would be more accurate to say that they disappointed, yet again). We are told that this is some sort of racist plot because... wait for it... the kids are all white! Think about how absolutely ridiculous that is.

Another thing that I find somewhat annoying is that they never mention anything about the people involved wanting to sue the doctor. This being America, there is no possible way that some of these people did not talk to lawyers and at least consider lawsuits.

To be clear, I'm not justifying what the doctor did, as it was clearly unethical. But, at the end of the day, the kids would be better off trying to make something of their lives, rather than focusing on events that happened before they were born, and over which they had no control. So, in that sense, the show is ultimately a major bummer.

Don't Look Up (2021)

Don't look...

[1/10 · 29 March 2022]

This movie never even gets close to that fine line between clever and stupid. My wife did laugh a few times, but I didn't. None of it makes any sense, from the first minute on. Lame, not funny, and very boring. I'd never heard of it before, but it was incredibly predictable. Worst of all, it just gets worse as it goes on. Did I say it's boring? Well, I do have to get to 150 words...

Ugly Delicious (2018– )

Unwatchable

[1/10 · 9 March 2022]

My wife and I have seen a lot of food shows. Some are good, some are just OK, some are even a bit boring, but this is the first one we've seen that was unwatchable. Seriously, how hard can it be to make a tolerable show about food? You talk about the food, find some interesting people associated with the food, maybe throw in a story here and there and, viola, you have a decent food show. Instead, in this truly ugly show, we have to hear a bunch of woke-ish nonsense and we are treated to a lot of the F-word. It must really make them feel superior when they say the F-word, as they say it a lot, for no apparent reason.

Ironically, there was almost nothing about food in the episode we tried to watch. They cried, complained (a lot, actually), talked about sexism, looked at baby pictures, talked to the parents, flew all over the world for no apparent reason, and so on. None of it was interesting or engaging, and food was barely an afterthought.

The Beatles: Get Back (2021)

It's all too much...

[4/10 · 28 November 2021]

I'm a HUGE Beatles fan, and have been since the mid-1970s. I'd watch anything involving John, Paul, George, and Ringo, or even tangentially related to them. But, this is so overboard, that even I had difficulty staying awake through it all.

The good: The video quality is simply amazing, and a lot of it (especially after they move to Apple) has a home movie type of feel to it, which is kind of nice. And, there are a few subtle insights to be gained, although those sorts of things are likely only of interest to hardcore fans.

The bad: It is just way, way, way, way, way, way, way, ..., too long! If I'd been in charge, I'd have cut the first episode to no more than 1 hour, the second to 15 minutes, and the third to about 1 hour. That would have resulted in a fairly long movie, but one that could have maintained a sense of pace. This thing just plods on forever, with nothing much happening most of the time (especially in the 2nd episode).

The ugly: I remember reading a George Martin quote to the effect that, when the Beatles went into the studio, it was magical, except for the one time that they tried to make a movie about it (obviously referring to this epic fail). With the exception of 4 or 5 songs, the music ranges from lame to absolutely terrible. There are a bunch of things that later needed up on Abbey Road, and those are mildly interesting, but the good versions of those are available on the Anthology album. Of the remaining 4 or 5 decent songs, only a couple take much screen-time. The most dreadful of all is "Dig a Pony" which, IMHO, is far and away the worst Beatles song that ever made it onto one of their LPs. The making and performance of that awful song takes up a big chunk of time and it is simply cringe-inducing.

The bottom line: If you are big Beatles fan, you'll want to watch this show. But even for fans, don't hesitate to fast forward. The chance that you'll miss something interesting is remote...

Nomadland (2020)

I am Nomad... NOT!

[1/10 · 2 May 2021]

Was Captain Kirk not available? He could have really livened up this bore-fest. Maybe a few green Orion slave girls too, and some tribbles. Think of the worst episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation that you have ever seen. This is worst than that. Much worse.

Bridgerton (2020– )

Brings new meaning to the word "horrendous"

[1/10 · 3 January 2021]

I don't think they've yet invented a word that can hope to capture the utter badness of this mess. I went with "horrendous", but that only hints at the level of awfulness achieved in this eyesore (and earsore). While I salute the reviewers who have attempted to document the various badnesses of this show, that's like trying to count the number of grains of sand on a beach.

It will be a cold day in that famous hot place before I watch another Netflix original series...

Emma. (2020)

Emma, with a "."

[2/10 · 9 December 2020]

I have to say that the "." after the title (and subtitles) got my attention, and that was pretty clever. It was mostly downhill from there. Emma's dad was kind of quirky and humorous, but the rest of them were extremely boring. I guess I'm not an Anya Taylor-Joy fan, as I didn't like her in the chess movie either. Those big googly eyes just creep me out--I keep expecting to see her grow fangs and start biting people on the neck. And one thing that I found really annoying in this film was all of the underwear scenes. I mean, c'mon, there should be some kind of limit on the number of times that you can show any one character in their skivvies.

The Queen's Gambit (2020)

I don't get it

[1/10 · 30 October 2020]

My wife insisted that we watch this, and we just finished the first episode. Already, I can't stand it, and there's no way I'm going to watch another one. My younger son played chess for several years, so I have nothing against chess. But this is so excruciatingly BORING, not to mention depressing. If it was actually a true story, it might be necessary o suffering thru stuff like this, but it's pure fiction, so there's no excuse.

Emily in Paris (2020– )

Promising start but fizzles fast

[3/10 · 28 October 2020]

The show starts off well, and it does continue to have a few moments of humor. But, once Emily starts hopping in bed with every other guy she meets, she (and hence, the show) becomes a bit pathetic. Early on, when she is somewhat prudish (at least in comparison to the locals), the show works best. Her Chinese friend (an obvious play for the market in China) is moderately OK for a while, but as soon as she gets around to her migraine-inducing singing, she wears out her welcome. And Emily's work scenes eventually become predictable (cue a nasty comment from Emily's boss; see Emily save the day with yet another lame social media campaign). It's really unfortunate that the writers felt they had to jump the shark so early on. IMHO, the show suffers greatly as a result.

MeatEater (2012– )

Good show that could be even better

[8/10 · 26 September 2020]

I've only ever hunted pheasant and quail, and that was decades ago. But I am a semi-serious saltwater kayak fisherman (mostly in the Monterey Bay in CA), and so I have some real-world appreciation for the themes that arise in this show. Don't get me wrong--I do like this show, but I think it has some issues.

Some of Steve's incessant talking hits on interesting points. For example, in one episode I saw recently, he talks about how he likes to imagine himself kicking back, relaxing, and soaking up the ambiance during those interludes when the animals are not cooperating. And, after the fact, he looks back fondly on those times. But when it's actually happening in real time, he gets antsy and wants to accomplish something instead of just sitting around waiting. I could really relate to that, not just wrt outdoor activities, but for life in general.

However, sometimes Steve is obviously just rambling to fill time. A decent editor should cut most of that crap out and instead let the landscape do some of the talking.

Coneheads (1993)

Funny!

[9/10 · 11 September 2020]

Somehow, I never saw this film in its original release. Since it's now on Netflix, I took a look, without expecting much. I was pleasantly surprised, as it's pretty good throughout, with only a few slow scenes. If you liked the conehead SNL skits at all, you'll enjoy this movie.

Mulan (2020)

Bad, but not in a good way...

[2/10 · 7 September 2020]

If you are going to remake an animated movie that everybody likes, you better be sure that what you are doing is going to hold up. This one is just pathetic. All of the woke and feminist hooey is overdone, heavy handed, and preachy. Not to mention that the men are universally stupid boors. It's all so predictable. And sad. Really, really, sad. What a missed opportunity by Disney.

Aladdin (2019)

Can't hold a candle (or magic lamp) to the animated version

[4/10 · 22 December 2019]

Almost everything about this movie says "weird". For one thing, the sets and costumes don't look at all right. As others have mentioned, it has a definite Bollywood look and feel, and it's hard to believe that was not intentional. But why?

The casting is odd too. In fact, the only characters that I thought were a good fit and interesting were Will Smith's Genie and the handmaiden. They should have just made an entirely new movie about those 2, and left Aladdin, Jaffar, and the rest of the sorry cast entirely out of it.

Overall, it comes across as tired and uninspired, and, yes, weird. I just can't get my mind around what they were going for in this remake. But whatever it was, they clearly missed the mark.

I give it 4 stars because there are a few good laughs, but there's also a lot of dead air between those laughs. Unless you're a huge Will Smith fan, I would not recommend seeing this. And, regardless of your level of Will Smith fanboy-dom, if you are a big fan of the animated Aladdin, you probably should avoid this live action version like the plague. If you've seen both, it's impossible not to compare the 2, and this new live action version just doesn't hold a candle (or magic oil lamp) to the animated edition.