laclone Reviews

The Bourne Legacy (2012)

A Waste of Bourne Time

[2/10 · 5 December 2016]

A waste of 2 hours and 41 minutes. Time which I'll never get back.

Although the genetically enhanced agents theme follow-up to the original Bourne series had promise, it fails to deliver.

The drug-addicted super agents are supposed to be better than human, but you'll never see anything supporting that claim Yes, it has plenty of action, but not much thought was put to the story line and background of the characters. One walks away without ever caring about any of them.

A filler movie, intended to satisfy the desire for the public desire for more Bourne movies. Kind-of like 'New Coke' was suppose to replace the original Coke.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Emergence (1994) Season 7, Episode 23

White rabbit is late. Needs to find his hole.

[1/10 · 3 December 2014]

One of the most worthless episodes ever done. Feel free to skip it. You will miss nothing.

Technically, the story is in keeping with Star Trek. Everything is explained in the traditional techno-lingo we know, but the whole episode comes across as senseless, and attempting to make sense of it is futile.

Go try to push a rope uphill, or some endeavor equally worthless, rather than watch this.

B. Bragga at his worse. Exploring some concept of his, that makes no sense to anyone else, and has no place in Star Trek. Basically a "Alice in Wonderland" episode, with all the nonsensical trappings and confusing references normally associated with such.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Journey's End (1994) Season 7, Episode 20

Jar-Jar Wesley

[5/10 · 23 November 2014]

Wesley has always been somewhat of an Albatross for STNG.

Originally a good idea-concept for a character on a Star Trek revival, the writers quickly developed an inconsistency on how to handle him in episode plots. Which quickly doomed the character to fans.

Sometimes, he was a prodigy genius that saves the ship, other times a last resort subject for a script concept.

Sort of a John-Boy Walton/Will Robinson type, both Lost in Space!

The biggest problem I have with this character and the writers that wrote him, is that in the episode "Journey's End", Wesley pretty much severs all ties to Star Fleet, and leaves under circumstances that would prevent him from ever being allowed to return to Star Fleet service. Ever.

That's assuming that an inter-dimensional, space-time traveling being, who can control warp fields with his mind, would ever want to join Star Fleet again in the first place.

But in ST: Nemesis, Wesley is seen back in Star Fleet, again, and joining Riker on his new ship, Titan.

I'm so glad the Titan series books never mention him.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Masks (1994) Season 7, Episode 17

A brave, but weak, attempt.

[4/10 · 12 November 2014]

Interesting, but tired use of Egyptian symbols.

Ra as a female sun. Fertile sun, giving life, but also bringing about drought and death.

Horus as a male moon, forever chasing Ra across the sky. Bringer of night and release from Ra's heat and suffering.

Both poorly disguised symbols, borrowed to make up a story by some writer with no knowledge of archeology.

Yet these people progressed to the point of building a lifeboat pod, or seed, of their society, to send it out among the stars, to re-create themselves in the future. A structure whose gravitational mass forms the nucleus of a comet in its over 87 million years of travel through space.

Goddess! Spare me from a reality in which any religiously based society ever advances this far. It's like a cross between the Genesis Project and the Dark Ages.

Kirk would have blown it away the minute it started damaging the ship. With no great loss to anyone.

Miss Congeniality (2000)

Fish-out-of-Water Comedy Meets the Perfect Fish

[9/10 · 24 September 2014]

All right, I admit it. I really admire Sandra Bullock.

Heck! I even added her to my Blockbuster Video account (back when there was a Blockbuster Video) as an authorized user, just in case she ever wanted to rent a movie and didn't have any cash on hand.

Miss Congeniality is typical "Fish-out-of-Water" comedy, with one big difference. They happened to have cast the perfect person to play the "Fish", and the resulting film surpasses all other films of the same entertaining format.

Her down-to-earth attitude, sharp wit, good looks, physical and acting skills pulls off this role as no other actress could have done.

A perfect example of what happens when making a movie, any type of movie, when everything and everyone meshes together.

If you ever what to just sit down, relax, escape your own troubles and just enjoy the next couple of hours, watch this movie.

John Carter (2012)

Forget the Movie. Read the book.

[3/10 · 27 July 2014]

This is difficult to review, because almost everything about it, the CGI, locations, actors, and such could have made this a great movie, and really brought visions of ERB's stories to life.

But the one thing that doomed this from being what it should/could have been was the script/screenplay. And the kindest words I can think of to describe it are..., another Hollywood Bastardization of an excellent story.

The ERB Estate should have filed criminal charges for literary rape this movie did to the original ERB story.

Carter and Powell are prospectors/miners in the beginning. They are escaping Indians. No mention of U.S. Cavalry.

Everything about Carter's wedding rings, wife & child is sheer Hollywood B.S..

The Therns are not even mentioned in the first book, and had nothing whatsoever to do with John Carter's transportation to Mars, his return to Earth, or his return to Mars.

The whole River Iss segment has no place in the first book.

In short, we have a movie that visually well-presented images described in the books (9 outta 10 stars!), but except for some basic stuff, threw the original books story-line out with the trash (-4 outta 10 stars!).

Want to be entertained? Read the book.

Want to waste 2 hours? Watch the movie.

Stargate SG-1: Revisions (2003) Season 7, Episode 5

It's a small world, after all!

[7/10 · 31 March 2014]

I'm sorry that I had to use that annoying song from the Disney World ride as the summary title, but nothing else would fit here.

Now I can't get it out of my head.

The situation SG-1 finds here is a world who's pursuit of technology and industrial development so poisoned their atmosphere, that they had to build a protective bubble-dome around themselves to survive.

With all the surviving people inside the dome wearing a neural link to the central computer controlling the dome, as well as being the access all of their stored knowledge, they never realized that as their power source weakened, the computer shrunk the size of the dome shrunk to compensate, and erased all their memories of the people who were lost with every shrinkage.

Everything always appeared normal to them. But when SG-1 finds out the truth, the computer acts to prevent them from letting the people know they're in danger.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Suddenly Human (1990) Season 4, Episode 4

A Battle we too often see

[7/10 · 14 January 2014]

A strong episode about a battle we too often see played out in the media today.

A child adopted at a young age, and raised with a good family, is suddenly taken away from the only home they have ever known, simply because his biological family now asserts a claim on them.

Regardless who the winner is in these situations, the only victim in any such battle is going to the child. Instead of possibility of growing up with two family's, they will now have to give up one of them.

How often we lose that which should have been our main focus all along. The best for the child and what they want.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Hunted (1990) Season 3, Episode 11

One of Star Treks best.

[9/10 · 3 January 2014]

I have to admit that this is one of my favorite episodes of the entire series.

One aspect of the plot is something we've seen many times before. Some planet/race has requested membership to the Federation, and the Enterprise is sent to evaluate and report on their findings.

But a wrench is thrown into the process when a prisoner escapes from a lunar prison facility, and the government request the Enterprise's help in re-capturing him. With some difficulty, they do so. Only now they find that the prisoner, a veteran of a previous war, had committed no crimes, and was sent to prison only because he was now considered by the citizens of his home world as now simply being undesirable to be allowed to return to normal society.

A particularly great twist in the plot is that, after so many times before we've seen the Prime Directive take a back-seat to the desire of the crew to help other cultures, we now get to see it used to keep the Federation out from interfering with situation that the native government has brought upon itself.

And a most deservedly so situation it is!

Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Defector (1990) Season 3, Episode 10

One of the Finest examples of a vision.

[10/10 · 2 January 2014]

During the height of the Cold War in the '60's, G. Roddenberry had a vision of a TV show that would portray Mankind in the distant future as having become the best we are capable of becoming.

Original Star Trek was the result, and it really started something. Proof of that is that today we are still praising film and written examples of mankind overcoming our own differences and faults, uniting as one, and thereby becoming an example for all life. Anywhere.

The crude and poor resources of the '60's TV industry managed in getting this ideal across, otherwise, we would not be here 50 years later discussing this.

ST-TNG (so far) has been the pinnacle of this vision. This episode stands as one of the best example of it.

Patrick Stewart's background in Shakespearian acting really comes across here, and sets the standard for all of the others. And they all rose to the challenge and delivered amazingly.

This stands as one of the best episodes of ST-TNG, when it was in it's prime! The feelings, tension, and drama it shows are far beyond the capability of those behind the latest movie efforts to carry on the ST storyline.

Some alien somewhere has 10 thumbs, and they are all 'Up' for this one.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Survivors (1989) Season 3, Episode 3

And had you the power, would you not do the same?

[8/10 · 29 December 2013]

A very powerful human drama.

A peaceful being, possessing omnipotent abilities, finds love with a human woman and settles down to live a joyful normal life with her. All is well with them, and they eventually settling down on a remote world to live out the remainder of their lives (her life, as he is immortal) together.

A Powerful and evil alien race attacks the colony years later, killing the only woman he has ever loved, and in a moment of grief-fueled rage, he erases the entire attacking race, billions of them, from existence. Everywhere.

Doubly stricken with grief now, for both her death, and for what he has done because of it, he creates a small bubble/prison of illusion to live out eternity in.

Unfortunately, the colony had sent out a message for help before being destroyed, and now the Enterprise has arrived to investigate what happened.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Peak Performance (1989) Season 2, Episode 21

"And now for something completely different...,"

[10/10 · 26 December 2013]

One of the better, more enjoyable, episodes in the TNG series.

An overly self-assured "strategic expert" has Picard and Riker pitted against each other in a War Games exercise. Picard and the Enterprise vs. Riker and a TOS era Constellation-class ship.

Quickly it becomes a contest between the "Strategic Expert" and Riker, whom the expert doesn't respect at all. And Picard, who was at first reluctant to partake in the exercise, begins to actually enjoy the whole thing.

This is one of those rare episodes where the contest and conflict is between people, not ships.

When the Ferengi arrive and suddenly turn it into a real battle situation, the 'Expert' finds that Picard and Riker are better at this game than he is. Data puts the final nail in the 'Expert's' inflated ego/coffin later.

A refreshingly original episode that deserves the 10 stars I gave it simply because it is original and very entertaining to watch.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Royale (1989) Season 2, Episode 12

Watching Paint Dry.

[1/10 · 24 December 2013]

This episode is like spending 45 minutes in a Dentist chair.

The outcome is somewhat on the positive side, but you question for days after whether or not the suffering you went through was worth it.

The basic idea behind the script was a good one. A 21st century NASA Astronaut was somehow inadvertently transported far away from Earth, and the aliens responsible for it felt remorse, and created an environment for him to live out his life in.

But the trash-novel they based Earth society upon is sooo bad, that we also feel the pain of his final 38 years of existence. Just imagine being stuck for the rest of your life on the Disney ride "It's a Small World" (which they used in Gitmo to interrogate prisoners), with no escape possible.

It was enjoyable to watch Data shooting craps and breaking the bank at the casino, but why was there no interest at all in who these aliens were, where they are now, or effort to find them? It might have made a good 'First Contact' episode had this been explored at all.

Watch this one if you have to, but you won't miss anything even remotely important about Star Trek if you skip it.

Now, excuse me. I have to go now and watch my Aunt & Uncle's Vacation photo slide-show. It should be more entertaining than this episode was.

Highlander: Deadly Exposure (1998) Season 6, Episode 9

The Highlander spin-off that should have been.

[8/10 · 18 December 2013]

The producers wanted a spin-off series about a female immortal, and introduced us to several of them in the last season.

This one was by far the best.

Sandra Hess's character, Regan, was captivating from the start. A street-wise, smart, stand-alone, very tough female Bounty Hunter..., who just happens to be immortal too. And Hess's acting and her action skills and movements nailed the character perfectly.

This was a lady you do not want to mess with.

"Highlander: Regan" would have been a refreshing new twist to the whole immortal storyline, and one I would have wanted to watch every week.

Highlander: Two of Hearts (1998) Season 6, Episode 10

An average episode, made worse by trying to stand alone.

[4/10 · 18 December 2013]

The producers knew that season 6 was the last season of Highlander, and a spin-off was going to be done, so several pre-pilot episodes were done with female immortals to try out several formats and character story lines to see which had the best chance of success.

"Two of Hearts" is one of those pre-pilot episodes, and IMHO, the worst.

I just didn't buy into Claudia Christian's acting or her character. Her fighting moves were a bit weak and she just didn't have the screen presence to pull-off an action series about an immortal. That, plus the boy-girl bad guy fighting duo theme is something that is old-hat and been done to death.

As we know, eventually they went with the Amanda character & the Raven series, but stuck her with that old boy-girl team-up thing, which quickly got boring.

MacGyver (1985–1992)

Eleventy-Ten Stars

[10/10 · 2 November 2013]

Okay, an eleventy-ten star rating is a bit excessive. But the MacGyver series, taken as a whole, deserves the highest rating one can possibly give any TV series because of what it did for generations of young minds everywhere.

Not only did the term 'MacGyver' come to replace 'Rube Goldberg' in social culture as the using of ones wits, education and ingenuity to come up with a working solution to any problem, the show taught millions of young minds the world over, the value of getting a good education.

Learning everything you could in the various fields of physics, chemistry, electronics, mathematics, history, the arts and others, suddenly became fun and enjoyable, with real-world applications!

I don't imagine that there aren't too many scientist, engineers, and other great brains of today, that weren't at least partially inspired by the adventures of MacGyver in some small way.

Many TV shows can entertain, but very few can inspire. For that alone, MacGyver gets my highest marks (of course, I had to use some chewing gum, a bottle cap, and a piece of glass to do it, but it worked.).

Highlander: The Modern Prometheus (1997) Season 5, Episode 17

Gregor's Ghost

[5/10 · 30 October 2013]

The only reason I gave it as high as 5 stars is because this episode's historical flash-back storyline is about Methos's past, not Duncan's. That in itself makes this episode worth seeing. Other than that, just re-watch the season 2, episode 2 "Studies in Light".

I do like the concept that Mary Shelly's inspiration for Frankenstein originated by her witnessing an immortal's beheading, and the resulting Quickening, with all that lightening, bringing the winning immortal, Lord Byron, back to life after his fatal injuries. But, the present-day Lord Byron was nothing but a Gregor clone.

If one has to be an Immortal Artistic Genius, please let them be a painter or sculptor or such. Not a Poet/Rock Star!

At least then you don't have to listen to them talk!

Highlander: Timeless (1996) Season 4, Episode 11

"But what is..., and should never be."

[8/10 · 5 October 2013]

The main plot line here is a little weak, but it the fault of the writing, not the acting.

It's the secondary plot line here that makes this worth watching.

Adam (Methos) falls in love with a mortal, one who he discovers is dying. Joe tells Adam she hasn't long to live, and instead of the 'shock & awe', 'OMG!' reaction mortals would normally have, the 5,000 year old Immortal responds with "You are all dying!".

What matters is that we spend the time we have 'Living', not dying.

If you've never lost a loved one, it's a concept that might escape you..., until it happens to someone you love.

Highlander: The Innocent (1995) Season 4, Episode 3

"Of Mice and Men"

[9/10 · 3 October 2013]

Inspired by John Steinbeck's book "Of Mice and Men", this is a fitting tribute to a great piece of literature, written by one of the best.

If you've never read the book, and are in the mood for watching something light, happy and inspiring, don't watch this episode.

If you've read the book, then you know what happens.

Sadly, it touches on the fact that in many of the real-life situations one will often find themselves in, sometimes there is no happy ending.

Very few of the 'escapism' television shows we watch, every touch upon this. Occasionally, one does.

That they did so, marks it as being special, and deserving of being watched.

Just have a tissue nearby, just in case you catch something in you eye.

Highlander: The Darkness (1993) Season 2, Episode 4

Powerful moment in the Highlander Story

[9/10 · 31 August 2013]

Pivotal episode in the series that changes the whole direction of the storyline.

This episode was written because the actress who played Tessa asked to written out of the series because of her pregnancy, not because of some decision made by the writers. So they took her request and made it into one of the most important moments in Duncan's life. It also answers the question as to why Duncan decided to take Ritchie under his wing at the beginning of the series.

Besides wishing that they had fleshed out the villain and his relationship with the Watchers a bit more, I think they missed out on an opportunity to develop the Greta character into a re-occurring role in the series. After all, the existence of Immortals among us is all ready a spiritual one in nature, why not add a psychic into the mix, especially that of a reluctant one.

The closing song, 'Dust in the Wind', by Kansas, was a masterful stroke of genius, and fit perfectly into the established mood, and echoed the feelings experienced by Duncan only 2 episodes ago in 'Studies in Light'.

L.

Highlander: Studies in Light (1993) Season 2, Episode 2

Immortality, and its cost, from the POV of the Immortal

[8/10 · 30 August 2013]

No real spoilers here, because the eventual outcome of both story lines are very transparent, and both compliment each other on what it's like to be an Immortal.

To either completely stop caring about others, and live with the pain of the loss of such an essential part of Being, or to continue to care about others, and live with the pain of the loss of those you cared about when they eventually pass on.

The pain of the loss of something loved may dull over time, but it will always hurt, no matter what path you take.

One can chose to feel both pleasure and pain, or to feel neither.

The Whoopi Goldberg Show (1992–1993)

The most enjoyable and Unique Talk Show ever!

[10/10 · 23 April 2013]

Sadly, I missed too many episodes.

A lot of small things made this show unique. There was no audience, just Whoopi and one guest. The only other people present was the stage crew and a background piano player of gentle music. The stage was large and open, without a lot of typical clutter, flash and noise. The lighting was subdued, and the the setting was a comfortable love seat/end table/coffee table/easy chair.

The atmosphere came together to create a secure, non-threatening, low-pressure, comfortable environment, in which one famous person could finally just relax and openly talk about things with just another famous person, not an Interviewer. Everything worked so well, that the viewer felt like they were right there with them. Something seldomly achieved anymore in television.

Whoopi is an amazingly talented interviewer in such surroundings. Mainly because she never played it up to a TV audience during these talks. She genuinely loves to listen to, talk with, and learn about her guest.

Two episodes remain my favorites. Well..., three actually, as one guest had a two-parter episode. Grace Slick, of Jefferson Airplane/Starship fame, and the two-parter interview with Jack Lemmon.

The piano player, as well as playing the intro and closing music, would also start playing softly to cue the commercial breaks. But for the Jack Lemmon interview, who was an accomplished piano player himself, at his request, they gave the piano player the day off, and the whole two-parter was just Jack and Whoopi talking about his life and events. It was an amazingly intimate insight into his life and times.

If ever a talk show deserves to be released on DVD, this one does! On all the other talk shows Whoopi's guests have done, they came across as if it was another performance. On her show however, they could just be themselves.

The Interns: The Challenger (1971) Season 1, Episode 18

A Professional Pool player suffers a career-ending injury

[8/10 · 16 April 2013]

This 70's TV show was basically a medical version of the more successful show "The Mod Squad". Instead of young, hip policemen, we have young, hip doctors.

Mr. Frank Gorshin(of Batman's Riddler fame)guest-stars as a professional pool player who has one of his hands severed in an elevator accident. His very dramatic performance of the part easily made this the best episode of the entire series.

Deeply depressed now, he is maneuvered by our hero doctors into playing a game of pool against one of them. A challenging game, now with only one hand and a hook, but he wins. Forcing himself into finally considering the possibility that maybe his life isn't over after all.

A wonderful performance by a fine actor who deserved more credit and respect than he was given.

Stargate SG-1: Threshold (2001) Season 5, Episode 2

Not what it seems.

[8/10 · 27 March 2013]

All right, at first glance, this looks like it's going to be another re-tread of a standard tactic with TV writers, where they can't come up with a great story for this week, so they write a story to support a series of background flash-backs from previous episodes, just to fill up this weeks time slot.

We've seen this used in many TV series before. Usually in the Sci-Fy realm, but not always.

SURPRISE! It isn't! Although it's in the same format as things we've seen before, the flash-back sequences used are not footage of previous episodes, but original things we haven't seen before. And they explain and show the progress of how Teal'c became who he is.

Sneaky B-strd's threw one of those "Character-Development" episodes at us, and actually made it a good one.

Star Trek: Voyager: The Thaw (1996) Season 2, Episode 23

Ultimate Fear is a poor script

[1/10 · 25 March 2013]

A race survives a disaster by placing a few (too few to insure a race's survival) into stasis, linking their brains to an adaptive program for stimulation until they can be revived. However, the program adapts into a personification of the emotion of Fear, then entertains itself by tormenting the people for years.

Boring!

The fear/clown character is written so overboard as to suggest the writer has some issues. The whole episode is meant to only take up the 45-50 minutes of a weekly TV episode.

Any race that was that far advanced in the first place would simply have placed people in those deep underground chambers in a cyrogenic stasis, with automatic revival after the short 20 year period of recovery needed by their planets biosphere.

It would only have been a good nights sleep from their perspective.

The whole thing was written as a poor clone of the S. King movie "It", and is deeply disappointing.

Skip this episode and you won't miss anything in the S.T. Voyager series.