TdSmth5 Reviews

Blood Coast (2023– )

Superb

[9/10 · 6 January 2024]

Years ago, Ali killed Murillo's son. During the funeral, Murillo, a convict, staged an escape during which a shootout ensued and a cop, Alice's dad, died. Murillo at some point died in Venezuela and his charred corpse is used to ID him.

In the present, a guy, nicknamed the Indian, is brutally trying to take over Ali's turf and introducing crack onto the streets and taking out Ali's nephews who run the business as Ali lives in Dubai. But all the carnage forces Ali to return to Marseilles.

Alice, now a cop herself, has herself transferred to Marseilles and put in a special unit that deals with all these crimes in unorthodox ways, which makes the unit's relationship with the chief rather tense. The unit is run by Lyes, a childhood friend of Ali, since both grew up in the same housing project. For this reason, IA is building a case against Lyes.

Sure enough, back in the day, Lyes made a deal with Ali for information, to keep drug trade centralized and in control, to keep other drugs like crack away, and to keep relative peace. But the increasing bloodshed complicates things for everyone.

The first task for our unit is to find the source of the crack/the Indian and they use kids, young fences, to try and get closer and closer, but the Indian usually outsmarts them. In the process they discover that the Indian's partner/boss is none other than Murillo. Alice knew he was alive and seeking revenge was her motivation for transferring to Marseilles, but she doesn't share that info with anyone else. Once the unit discovers that Murillo is alive, he becomes their target as well. Yves knows a girl who is connected to Murillo, and surprisingly to Lyes as well. All the while they're sort of trying to keep Lyes tries to keep Ali out of things but warns him to better go back to Dubai otherwise he'll have to go after him. Ali has his hands full dealing with the constant brutal attacks by Murillo and the Indian that's decimating his family while planning revenge attacks. Along the way there are some surprises.

I love Marchal's work, I loved Rogue City, a great movie that clearly inspired this series. I love Marseilles as a setting. The bad guys are all fascinating characters, the story is excellent, Jeanne Goursaud is gorgeous, cinematography is outstanding. The weak part is the casting and the character's of most of the cops. There's the ridiculous Tatoo who'd be out of place as a janitor at a police station, let alone an elite unit cop. Arno is a big dude, but he too seems to be afraid of his own shadow. There's some lesbian girl who acts more the part, and Alice who belongs on a fashion runway. Lyes is the only somewhat believable cop character. But they all act like regular goofs with no awareness of their surroundings and taking zero precautions in spite of being obvious targets and all the slaughter around them. There's some holes in the story or silly plans by the cops to do something that could be done in much smarter ways.

Aside from that, this series in excellent, intense, exciting and shouldn't be missed by anyone who likes crime action thrillers. Can't wait for season 2.

The Reckoning (2020)

Surprisingly good

[8/10 · 12 November 2023]

Didn't have any expectations for this movie, as I now generally stay away from movies set in medieval times. I'm just tired of the cold look, perennial mud, rain, candlelight, British accents, and silly over-acting. The Reckoning obviously has all of that but it has a lot more. Near the end they even managed to film two scenes outdoors in sunlight. But it's Charlotte Kirk who steals the show from the get go as a regular wife and mom who finds herself accused of witchcraft years after her own mother was killed in front of her eyes for the same crime and by the same inquisitor now judging her.

But this isn't just drama, there's plenty of horror, too. Her husband died of the plague and she has erotic dreams of her husband, that quickly turn into satanic nightmares. So in a way there is some possibility that she might have something to do with the devil after all. I was contemplating an unexpected ending, but they went for the easy route. In the meantime she has to face torture by her inquisitor and his sidekick, interestingly a former "witch" who somehow survived the stake. There's plenty of nasty people around who want to see the girl dead but she also runs into some nice folk who try to help.

Overall a pleasant surprise of a movie. Big Kudos to Charlotte Kirk who aside from the main role also co-wrote and co-produced this movie, and doesn't shy away from nudity.

Risen (2021)

Much better than expected

[8/10 · 12 November 2023]

The reviews and rating make no sense. Looks like people saw the title and were expecting something else entirely, probably something along the lines of the other movie by the same title. Well, no it's not that. It's sci-fi and like the vast majority of sci-fi, it's lower budget. But unlike most sci-fi, this movie doesn't take place in two rooms with 3 characters. The script here is much more ambitious. It was aiming for something along the lines of The Arrival. But there was no financial backing evidently, no billion-dollar effects, no "A" list cast. There are some issues with sound, effects, the main character could have benefited from a different casting. But it the story here that matters, and the story is good and interesting. It slowly works toward what we expect to be an interesting resolution. And it delivers. Plenty of movies fall flat at the end. Here the ending is satisfying and resolves the suspense created. Overall a good effort. The writer/director has a bright future.

Infinity Pool (2023)

It's just shallow

[4/10 · 22 July 2023]

James is a writer with writer's block (of course. Is there any other writer in the movies?). He and the wife go to some distant resort for an inspirational break. There they meet Gabi and her old husband. Gabi claims to be a fan of his book. They're invited to an escapade outside the resort during which Gabi fondles James. On they way back, the car's headlights don't work well, and James runs over and kills a local peasant. Turns out the tourists aren't allowed outside the resort at all. And the resort happens to be oddly on an island run by a brutal dictator. They agree to tell some story. But they are immediately taken by police and everyone ends up telling the truth which means that James is automatically sentenced to death, a sentence to be a carried out by a relative of the peasant, in this case, a son. The alternative is for the government to create a double of James, who will be executed instead, with James as a witness.

James of course agrees to the double execution. He's left traumatized by the experience. Next he gets together again with Gabi, her husband and some other couple. Gabi offers him some local hallucinogenic drug, and he sees and orgy. They offer him someone from the government to abuse but this person turns out to be another double of James.

Then the gang agrees to break into the house of the dictator to steal a medal. It turns into a blood bath. And all of them go through the sentencing/double execution which afterward they find sort of funny, since there really isn't any consequence for them.

James is sick and tired of his perverted and abusive friends, tries to leave the island but they quickly catch up with him and gun in hand force him back, which isn't hard since he's a total weakling.

Gabi has some more drugs for him and wants to turn him into a man, to bring out his inner alpha chimp. And again they bring someone for him to abuse.

Next day it's as if nothing has happened. Everyone gets ready to leave. James changes his mind the last minute and stays, a very disappointing ending. For a movie that doesn't deliver much one expected at least an ending that made an impact.

Infinity Pool (an irrelevant title) has a promising sci-fi premise, but doesn't manage to do anything with it. At some point of course the group wonders, who was really executed, their true self or the double. But it doesn't matter as the sci-fi aspect isn't further explored, instead we get some dull psycho self-help nonsense imbued with sex and violence to make it semi-interesting, which it isn't. It doesn't help that none of the characters matter nor is worth rooting for.

As always, Mia Goth can act, seems to be attractive but it's hard to tell since she still won't grow any eyebrows or no one can give her an appropriate make-up job.

As with many of Cronenberg's films, this one too is a missed opportunity. There was material here for a good sci-fi flick or sure even the whole become-a-man scenario. But without an interesting script and captivating characters, it was doomed from the start.

The Bride (I) (2013)

Not bad for the budget

[3/10 · 22 July 2023]

Some couple made up as usual these days of a pathetic guy and a girl in charge go out to spend some time in a cabin the woods. They plan to get marries so the girl puts on a bride dress. Guy disappears. When she finds him, there's 4 bad guys who threaten him. She doesn't give in easily so her guy is shot. She defends herself, manages to escape, and injure some of the bad guys. They catch up with her eventually, serially rape her, kill her and bury her.

The bad guy boss shows up at some point and the goofs have some make up some ridiculous story. He sends them to look for her.

At some point the bride is possessed by some native Indian bride's spirit who underwent a similar fate centuries ago. So no she's revived and looking for revenge and some items as well.

The Bride is ultra low budget. Despite that they managed to give us some nudity and some gore. The movie is short but it feels long since for a good chunk nothing is going on.

I give it 3 stars, for the nudity, the acting of the actors portraying the bad guys, and the script during the final act that actually gets kind of funny.

Monsters of Man (2020)

Tremendous debut

[6/10 · 14 May 2023]

3 computer nerds are dragged almost against their will to some sweaty room in Laos to run some secret operation by some military tough guy.

The operation involves dropping 4 AI robo soldiers in a village in Laos that is controlled by a drug cartel. Things are off to a bad start when the chute of robot 4 doesn't open so he crashes. The other 3 are off to the village.

Problem is by now some ridiculous medical students in the area got lost and ended up in the village where a navy SEAL deserter lives and tries to help them out and protect them from the violent drug lords.

Meanwhile some village kids discover robot 4 and steal its module--the very module which allows our nerds to control it, or destroy it if necessary. Robot 4 of course wakes up just fine and without the module is basically a free AI.

Tough guy reports to a guy in the Pentagon who orders two robots go after robot 4 and the other go into the village where it shoots up everything and our dumb students + the SEAL + the kid have to try and escape and survive. Pentagon guy is in contact with corporate guy who owns the robot enterprise.

The whole operation is now thoroughly fubar, since you have scores of witnesses and a rogue robot. Not to mention that our nerds are starting to get unhappy since they didn't sign up for their robots to be out there killing civilians and start fighting amongst themselves.

The idea now is for tough guy to install an upgraded module in Robot 3 so it will destroy robot 4. Additionally tough guy has an EMP device with him to neutralize whatever robots are nearby. Turns out the upgraded module gives robot 3 also the ability to speak. Pentagon guy has some tricks up his sleeve as well in case it all goes to heck.

In any case, robot 4 ends up with robot 3's module. And when faced with humans, starts asking questions. Not just any questions, but deep philosophical ones. "What am I?" "What is life"

In the intro we are told that thousands of corporations are working on AI for the purpose of getting lucrative government contracts. Thus this movie gets at the core of the AI issue. It's not about chatting with cute bots, or what jobs will be lost. It's about what will happen when governments militarize AI.

And this movie presents on such in instance. The robots here are cool. So is the little violence and gore. The government/corporate interaction is intriguing. The nerds while mildly annoying are interesting as well as they face their own moral dilemmas. But the problem of course is everyone else starting with the obnoxious medical students. More could have been done here with the drug lords, they don't get enough attention.

Overall quite a debut for multitasker writer director etc. Toia who does a great job directing the foreigners, especially the kids, but not so much directing the insufferable students. There's a lot going in this movie and it's unnecessarily long, 20 minutes could have easily been cut and that budget directed to more action. Most importantly this movie is very timely and asks the right questions, questions that no one else will ask.

Control (2022)

Enjoyable

[6/10 · 2 May 2023]

A girl is playing with her daughter at the beach.

Next she wakes up in a small room tied to a chair with a table in front and a pen on it. The the room goes red, a voice tells her to complete a task. There's a timer in front of her counting down. When she breaks the rules, the room turns blue and the voice threatens her daughter. When she accomplished the task, lighting turns normal, she hears a noise that knocks her out and then she wakes up the next to to complete another task. The idea seems for her to develop her telekinetic skills.

One day her husband is in the room and eventually he us used as a motivating factor in the experiments while the woman keeps dreaming about their daughter.

After completing the experiments she gets to leave and finds herself in some warehouse. There seem to be other rooms with experiments. When security shows up she gets to put her powers to good use.

We also learned what really happened at the beach. The girl now has a choice to make and she makes a surprising choice.

Initially I thought Control would be one of those ultra low-budget single character single location movies, but it does have more to offer and I found the story engaging. When the girl goes into god mode, things get super cool. Still low budget. They put the funds to good use and made a movie worth watching.

Anti Matter (2016)

Seemed promising at first

[4/10 · 2 May 2023]

A student at Oxford no less is working on some experiments, unsupervised by faculty. Apparently it involves making energy/matter disappear or appear elsewhere. Her experiments start succeeding. She enlists the help of her rich romantic interest who recruits some annoying girl to help. Eventually they manage to get larger objects, plants, cats to teleport. Finally the scientists girl herself for some reason decides to subject herself to the experiment. She goes under the device. The screen goes black. Next she wakes up in her bed.

Now everyone around her acts weird. There is no talk at all about the experiments. The other two guys do what they do and ignore her pretty much. One day, someone breaks into her house and steals her stuff. It's a guy in a monkey mask. Pretty much every day there are protests by animal activists in front of the labs. She thinks it could be one of these guys. The girl is losing her memory so she has to write everything down. Cops are starting to look into what is going on for some reason. A door is locked in the lab and the girl can't get in. She takes blood tests that are disposed off by the guy instead of analyzed.

Eventually she breaks into the lab and freaks out forcing the guy to explain to her what happened.

Like so many sci-fi movies this one is also low budget, has an interesting premise, not much science unfortunately. But it suffers from a completely uncharismatic lead and an entire second act that is dull and unsatisfying. We know something isn't right, we know some explanation is forthcoming but it takes forever for the movie to get and in the meantime the story doesn't advance and nothing captures our interest.

The final explanation is interesting and surprising to some extent. But the focus isn't in the science after all. So it's ultimately no satisfying. This movie needed a bigger budget, a different lead, and probably a co-writer to polish things and leave us with this dull long second act that goes nowhere. Alternatively, cutting 20 minutes wouldn't have hurt.

Who Killed Sara? (2021–2022)

Excellent production

[7/10 · 4 December 2022]

Some guy (Alex) leaves jail and sets up some high tech operation evidently intent on surveillance and revenge. Turns out that in his teens, he, his sister (Sara) and their friends are about to try parasailing for the first time. The girl insists she wants to be the first. Her parachute harness starts tearing and she falls and dies. Turns out that Alex and Sara are lower class while their friends (2 brothers, and some others) are filthy rich. They are at the brothers' vacation house when all this happens. The rich dad is a major league ahole and talks Alex into taking the blame for Sara's death. That's how he ended up in jail.

Alex is convinced there was foul play so his mission now is to find out who killed Sara and why and avenge her death. So we have these two time periods then. The teenage years and the adult years and the episodes jump back and forth--over time more and more frenetically so that in season 3 it's hard to tell when something happened. He targets the rich family and finds out plenty of dirt on the father, the mother, the two brothers. They also have a younger sister and he ends up hooking up with her and she actually helps him out. Someone else makes contact, some anonymous person over the internet who offers help.

The investigation into the who takes up 2 seasons. In season 1 there's plenty of deception and one quickly notices a pattern. New characters are introduced or we learn more about a character and find out he/she had reasons to kill Sara. So it turns out that everyone wanted Sara and then wanted her dead and had the means and the opportunity to do it. Problem is that Sara is an unattractive, unremarkable, uninteresting girl so it makes no sense why everyone is obsessed with her. But she was the only girl in the group for some reason.

In season 2 we learn a lot more about Sara herself so she does in some way start becoming a more interesting character. After learning who killed Sara, Season 3 is all about explaining the why and there's off course a few twists here and there. The show takes an unexpected turn as Jean Reno's character becomes really the prominent character here.

The ending is somewhat unsatisfying I must say. It would have been better had they done the why and the who in parallel instead of revealing the killer earlier instead of spending a bunch of episodes and explaining the why and the how.

Who Killed Sara? Shines for its outstanding production. Can't say I watch many Spanish-language series, but I was surprised by the quality of the production. Music/sound effects also are first rate. Initially there's plenty of sex and an afwul lot of gay sex. The story, too, overall is very good. Carolina Miranda is beautiful and a bombshell. She stole the show. First time I see Jean Reno in a Spanish-speaking role, but he's excellent. His acting unfortunately makes the rest of the actors look bad. Frankly, I was hoping for and expecting a weird surprise twist ending, given that some of the themes the series touches are pretty twisted but it went for an easy outcome.

Overall, it's a show worth watching. It takes a bit too long to get where it wants to go, since it's really one long 25 episode show and you can't watch the seasons independently from each other.

The Sinner (2017–2021)

That Season 1!

[8/10 · 4 December 2022]

In Season 1 a mom and wife goes bonkers on the beach and viciously stabs some guy. It's an open and shut case and the woman is jailed but detective Ambrose takes an interested because she seems to genuinely not know what she did or why. And so we learn in extended flashbacks what happened to her, while in the present, Ambrose's investigation continues and she little by little starts remembering who did what to her. We also learn something about Ambroses's odd sexual practices. 10/10

Season 2: some fugly kid poisons his parents on a vacation trip. This happens in Ambrose's childhood hometown so a police woman who is the daughter of an old Ambrose friends ask for his help. Of course nothing is quite as it seems. The kid and the parents and the caretaker who shows up are all members of a local psychological sect that is based on members acting out their traumas and role-playing how they would like to respond to their traumatizers--which usually ends in brutal violence. After the original leader is gone, his replacement turns more toward talk-therapy--which Ambrose one day himself undergoes. Again we lean in flashbacks what went on at the commune and how it lead to the present. 7/10

Season 3: some couple is visited by a creepy college friend of the husband during dinner. Afterward he drives the creepy guy back but are involved in a car accident and the creep ends up dead. Ambrose begins his investigation and we learn stuff about the two fugly guys' past. I stopped watching after the second episode because I couldn't care about any of these people. N/A

Season 4: Ambrose retires and travels with his girl to a fishing island for some R&R. He runs into some interesting fisher girl. At night he runs into her again, she seems to be in distress. He follows her into the woods and to a cliff from which she jumps. There is no body to be found so everyone thinks he's crazy. Eventually they find a body. The girl was a member of the main fishing family who is run by the grandma. She doesn't want Ambrose around but eventually warms up to him. Local cops are useless so it's up to Ambrose going rogue to find out what was going on with the girl, which we learn in flashbacks of course. She was looking for something to give meaning to her life and got involved with some lady who was into the occult. The resolution at the end is somewhat unsatisfying because it comes out of nowhere. 7/10

While season 2 and 4 and slightly above average it's really season 1 that shines as an outstanding piece of television. It's creepy, super atmospheric, intriguing, interesting, captivating. Mainly thanks to Jessica Biehl's excellent performance, even though they unnecessarily made her look less attractive than she really is. Bill Pullman's Ambrose is also a pretty fascinating character who has a unique way of dealing with/talking to people. There is some surprising and very strong sexual themes I would say, that only made the season more striking. Season 1 should not be missed.

Panama (I) (2022)

A shame they didn't have a bigger budget

[5/10 · 22 October 2022]

Around the time of the US invasion of Panama the CIA decides to make a deal with some contra guerilla fighters. Mel decides to recruit some buddy of his, Becker, who is currently a mess because his wife died. Along for the ride monitoring things is another agent, Burns. Becker is supposed to make the deal happen: he has to buy a Soviet chopper from some bad guys in Panama and deliver it to the guerilla guy. The Panama guys are involved in drugs and Becker has to go undercover and work in a casino where the gets to meet hot girls and the partying bad guy who is supposed to sell him the chopper. He is also contacted by a DEA agent who offers help if he helps them out in turn. Things of course don't turn out as expected at all and Becker ends up stabbed in the back from all sides just as the full invasion breaks out. Yet he somehow has to make it out alive and try to make some deal happen.

Panama has a good idea and story. The cast does the best it can. Mel always delivers but here he is a tertiary character. Kiara Liz is absolutely adorable. Cole Hauser isn't the most compelling lead but does alright. The problem of course is that this was done with a 3rd of the budget necessary to make it a solid international spy undercover thriller. It's not as bad as the rating here suggests but this is an unfortunate case, where they should have really desisted with the project unless they could procure the appropriate budget but instead went ahead and ended up producing a C-level movie.

The Outsider (2020)

Good story, ugly cinematography and casting

[6/10 · 22 October 2022]

Some kid is killed. The policy quickly finds enough evidence to arrest some guy. Problem is the guy has enough hard evidence that puts him somewhere else entirely during the murder. How to solve this? Well, the suspects ends up getting killed so that takes care of that. Now the show takes a turn to the supernatural, as we learn that something happened to him before the murder and in fact there have been similar murders elsewhere, where the main suspect has a solid alibi. We learn this because the main cop bring in some annoying psychic to help. She theorizes that this chain of murders of kids are committed by some creature that is able to take the human form of those it scratches. The question that is who is the current creature's embodiment and when will it strike. We learn early on what the creature is up to but it takes forever for the rest of the characters to get there. Eventually they confront the creature and its sidekick in a surprising shootout.

The Outsider starts out pretty good and interesting. Like most shows these day, the episodes are unnecessarily slow and long. I have to say I was very suprised that this was a show for adults featuring adults. No anorexic teenagers flying around and beating big guys to a pulp. And the first two episodes with Jason Bateman were strong. Unfortunately once he's gone, there's no one to connect to. The rest of the main cast is frankly mediocre, hideous, and lousy. How on earth did any of those people ever get hired I can't fathom. Similarly, cinematography is poor, dark, discolored. Why producers insist on making shows unpleasant to see makes no sense to me. I didn't expect the supernatural turn the show took, which was occasionally creepy, but more could have been done with the creature and more of a horror angle could have been included. Overall, this show is worth seeing but not by much.

Midsommar (2019)

I'll take the short version

[5/10 · 10 October 2022]

Some students decide to go accept a friend's invitation to Sweden. The Swedish guy is part of some folk commune. One of the kids sees this as an opportunity as he's writing a thesis on some of these practices. Chris and Dani who are supposed to be a couple come along as well. Dani's family just died in the intro from carbon monoxide poisoning.

First thing they do as they arrive in Sweden is of course take hallucinogens, what else. Eventually they arrive at the new age folk communist commune in an open field with three buildings where everyone is dressed up in embroidered white clothes. There are two British friends of the Swede as well.

They are received with open arms for the summer solstice celebration. During the first meal everyone awaits the arrival of the two elders who emerge from one yellow pyramid. Once they give the silent order, everyone proceeds to eat. The thesis student is interested in what is going and asks questions and takes notes. Everyone sleeps in a building that is a single room with beds, so no privacy. A baby cries constantly every single night. We are told the next day will be an important one as an event will happen that only happens every 90 years. Everyone then gathers at the bottom of a cliff. The elder woman appears on top of the cliff and jumps. The visitors are in shock but stick around anyway. Then the elder guy appears and follows suit, but he doesn't die so a huge mallet is brought out to end his suffering.

There are more meals, some drama among the kids. The Swedish friend tells Dani that he too lost his family but regained a new one in the commune. Eventually things start going downhill for our friends as they start violating commune rules. One urinates on a sacred tree where the ashes of the dead elders have been placed. Another one takes picture of their sacred book, something he was told is prohibited. The two Brits allegedly left--without telling anyone. One girl starts getting interested in Chris and starts doing voodoo stuff to get in his pants. There's the traditional midsummer dance around the pole/contest that Dani ends up winning and as such ends up being the "may" queen and takes on a leadership role during the rest of the rituals. While she is taken somewhere, a drugged Chris does end up having sex with the girl who was interested in him. Dani catches him in the act and for no good reason has a break down--even though there wasn't much of a relationship with Chris to begin with. Here's something interesting about the community aspect of the commune. While Dani suffers and while the girl enjoys the sex, they are surrounded by other girls who join in their feelings--screaming in suffering or moaning in pleasure.

When Chris comes back to his senses of sorts he runs into a barn and finds a corpse. That's when things unravel. The last ritual is one of sacrifice and Dani and Chris will play an integral part in it.

Ari and his editor are back. This time giving us a 2 and a half hour long movie just for this basic story. No wonder someone decided to edit this down. So we get the same style as in Hereditary, again with a decent story but drawn out excessively long. The characters are weak here as well. No reason to care for any of them. No one stands out in the commune either. Florence Pugh is adorably cute though. The bits of violence, gore, and sex are good though. But in between there's just a whole lot of nothing. Ari claims to be interested in presenting relationships (and clearly has mommy and daddy issues) but can't portray a single meaningful relationship. Far from being creepy or horrific or even interesting, the commune is goofy and ridiculous and laughable. Only the music in this film manages to create some tension. A shame really, as something far better could have been done with this material.

Hellraiser (2022)

Worth seeing

[8/10 · 10 October 2022]

In the intro some lady buys the puzzle box from someone in Serbia for a rich guy named Voight. Some time later back in the US, a kid is a at degenerate party at Voight's. He runs into the lady who tells him he can meet Voight elsewhere in the mansion. The kid goes and finds the puzzle box, which now is in a very different configuration that the one's we're used to. Voight shows up and encourages the kid to solve the puzzle. He points out that if the kid solves it he (Voight) will get a prize. The box releases a blade and punctures the kid's hand and the blood summons chains. Of course that means the end of the kid.

We meet our lead, Riley, who's a reluctant recovering addict, her boyfriend, her brother, his lover, some girl. She lives with the brother who's tired of taking care of her. The boyfriend proposes a job. They can break into an abandoned warehouse and steal whatever is there. They go and find a container inside the warehouse. Inside the container is a safe, which they have no problem opening. Inside the safe is a box, inside the box is the puzzle box, which they take, thinking it should have some value.

Riley eventually gets kicked out by her brother and she ends up taking drugs and starts messing around with the puzzle box. She starts seeing cenobites. Her brother finds her to apologize and starts messing with the box, gets cut, cenobites show up and he vanishes.

Riley makes it her mission to find her brother. She tracks down the lady from the intro who is dying in a convalescent home. She warns her of Voight and the box but ends up cutting herself with it so she gets a face to face with Pinhead. Riley joins forces with her boyfriend and the two other kids to break into Voight's mansion. Inside the mansion are secret hallways, a fancy hall with some strange roof that opens and changes shapes. It doesn't take long for the cenobites to show up but they don't want Riley, they want someone else and are welling to trade her life for a couple of others'. She also finds Voight's writings that spell out what the box is for and how it works. One of it's configurations is "resurrection" so she has hopes for her brother. The kids eventually do meet poor Voight in the hall, who indeed did get his prize. It just wasn't what he had imagined. And that's a lesson for Riley who has to figure out a way to solve the puzzle of getting out of this situation. Voight, too, gets a second chance as they all meet in the hall with the cenobites.

It's good finally see a Hellraiser movie that was made on a decent budget. The story is rich and complex as we learn new things about the power of the box. We meet new and old cenobites clad in flesh alone without leather. There's plenty of sex and gore as there should be in a Hellraiser movie. At 2 hours this movie is a bit longer than it needs to be. I'm not sure Riley makes a particularly good lead. They could have done a lot more with the Voight character, especially in the beginning, there was a lot more story there that should have been told. As to the new Pinhead...I'm not as thrilled as others pretend to be. Her voice is unremarkable and so is the character as a whole. The overly stiff delivery of her lines is a letdown, even more so of one of the signature Pinhead lines. The actress is trying too hard to impersonate the irreplaceable Bradley but without the voice acting chops. She should have instead tried to do something of her own with the character. They should really think about an evolved Pinhead character instead of a bad copy.

Overall, I'm thrilled to finally see a relatively good Hellraiser movie. Still would like to see a re-envisioned remake written and directed by Pascal Laugier though.

Hereditary (2018)

Stylish but too drawn out

[5/10 · 10 October 2022]

We're told that some old lady has died. Then we meet her daughter's family. The woman who is a mess and makes dollhouses, the husband who of course is irrelevant in the family, and their two fugly kids who couldn't look more different from each other and their parents: some dumb good for nothing dopehead and some little girl that has some issues. For no good reason the woman asks dopehead to take little girl with him to a party where he smokes dope and the girl eats candy with nuts to which she is allergic to causing her to have an anaphylactic shock. Dummy races to drive her to a hospital and while the girl has her head out the window trying to breathe he swerves out of traffic decapitating the girl against a light post.

Now of course the woman is an even greater mess. At her usual help group she meets a woman who offers to do a seance to get the dead girl to talk. Sure enough stuff happens during the seances. She finds the girl's notebook that has a bunch of scary scribbles against her dad. When the woman throws the book into the fire, her husband ends up burning up. Meanwhile, the seance lady is screaming weird stuff at dummy. When he comes home and finds all this he runs into the attic to see his mom hanging from the ceiling try to cut her own head off. He then goes into the tree house where he finds a couple of surprises.

All this sounds pretty good. Problem is that the whole thing is drawn out unnecessarily to 2 long hours. Things only get going during the last half hour. In the meantime we're punished by the camera that won't stop giving us pointless closeups of the repugnant dopehead's face. There's something to be said about the direction, the style, the music that make this whole affair tolerable, but again, nothing is gained by the excess in runtime. Ari seems to think that every single minute of his work is worthwhile. No it's not. They could have easily cut out 30-40 minutes of this and ended up with a better movie. I did appreciate though the backstory that in reality should have been more the focus and deserved more attention.

The Invitation (II) (2022)

Average

[5/10 · 9 October 2022]

In the intro some woman hangs herself in a mansion.

A catering girl serving arrogant rich people during some corporate event decides to send in a DNA-ancestry test from the company sponsoring the event. Now that she's in the databases she can look up her distant relatives. One of them contacts her. It's some Brit. He invites her to the wedding of some relatives there.

She reluctantly (TM) goes then to this all expenses-paid trip to a British castle. She right away has a run in with the arrogant chief butler as the abused catering girls arrive, with whom she connects immediately. Then she meets the owner of the castle who "saves her" from the butler. They are attracted to each other. Tuns out the entry hall of the mansion is the place where the woman in the intro hanged herself. There are some huge monster statues all over the place. She is told she can't go into the library. At night she discovers the location of the hidden library key. Later we see how the butler sends one of the catering girls in there. Let's just say she doesn't fare well. Our girl is introduced to the whole family, which is almost entirely made up of guys.

Next day she meets 2 bridesmaids. A sweet and friendly one, and a creepy arrogant one who keeps pushing our girl's buttons, which is easy to do since she has a huge chip on her shoulder. Our girl gets closer and closer to the mansion owner who suggests they should marry and she sort of agrees. Later that day there's a family dinner where guy announces, much to girl's shock, the wedding of the two. So this meeting is of three families that have been connected for centuries. The fourth missing family member is finally present--the girl. And in marriage then all of them will prosper. Then butler brings in a catering girl, slashes her throat and passes on glasses of blood for folks to drink.

Turns out mansion owner is a big time vampire who needs the girl to keep the line going. During the wedding they will exchange blood which will turn her into a vampire and give him strength. Of course she's not interested in massive wealth and eternal life, what American would be... So she has other plans for the wedding.

The Invitation then comes across as a vampire-themed version of Get Out with an unappealing cinematography reminiscent of Euphoria. I'm glad someone finally made a vampire movie with a budget. Unfortunately the politics, casting, and poor cinematography don't help the story much. Missing is also more violence, gore, sensuality--in other words everything a vampire horror flick should have.

We Children from Bahnhof Zoo (2021)

Dull

[5/10 · 24 September 2022]

I haven't read the book nor seen the original movie, but I'm familiar with the story. This series tells the story of Christiane and her friends: 3 girls in total and 4 guys in their late teens. Christiane's family is lower middle class, another girl who looks like Christiane only ugly is lower class and another girl lives in a palace. About the guys we don't learn much as expected. One of them has a job. The guys all live in some drug house/apartment. They of course get the girls into drugs. The kids spend all their nights in some lame dance club. So drug use is recreational at first. For some reason it takes forever for the heroin to cause addiction in these kids. Eventually it does and then the issue becomes how to get money for drugs. The girls and one guy turn to prostitution. Christiane is reluctant and repulsed but of course heroin is more powerful. Eventually Christiane's teachers notice that something isn't right, they try to convince the clueless mother who initially doesn't believe it. Christiane leaves her family at some point, comes back, is sent to rehab but can't do it. There's an on/off love relationship with one of the guys. There are some overdose deaths in the gang and the question becomes whether Christiane will be able to get over the addiction.

The story of course makes for some striking gritty unpleasant drama. But this series chooses not to go that route. It's very, very light drama that borders on non-drama. It's all very casual and nonchalant. The filmmakers are more interested in showing how fun all this is. Parents, grand-parents, school are not much of an issue. Neither is money for life: clothes, cigarettes, clubbing. A lot is made of Christiane's goofy dumb dad who leaves the wife and gets involved with some mail-order Asian bride; in American fashion really for the purpose of giving dads a bad rep. Even though the series is only 8 episodes they sure took their time to get things going. Episode 1 is of the kid's normal life, episode 2 has their personal life given them grief. Episode 3 is some weird Bowie-worship piece and recreational drug use begins. Episode 4 is about Christiane's relationship to her guy. The final 4 episodes do finally become more interesting as things go downhill. But again, the way this is all presented doesn't get the viewer involved. I couldn't get myself to care about any of these people.

So I would say all the criticism in other reviews are correct. The anachronisms are weird, the series is not harsh enough given the material, the casting is weird (why does Christiane's dad look like her younger brother?), they really shouldn't have used this title/bother spending money on the rights. Heck they didn't even have to set it in Berlin, any European large city would have worked. The train station by which Christiane identifies herself, isn't featured enough in my view. Neither are trains, which are such a large part of the life of Germans. I disagree though about the disco's music. I didn't dislike it; it was pleasant enough but I would have preferred 80s techno. I'm not sure this series presents the kids' life as "glamorous." Sure, there are wardrobe excesses but then no one has ever demanded the entertainment industry be "sustainable." At least Christiane does wear the same stuff for several days.

On to the positives: Jana McKinnon is pretty and has a cute way of dancing. Given how the series treats the material and how utterly subdued it is, one can say it is somewhat original, but not really in a good way. Few filmmakers would have chosen to present such a story in this odd manner. There are a few interesting bits to the story: ugly girl gets involved with some pervert who has a harem of young drug-addicted girls for his pleasure and provides them with drugs. One of the clients of a guy who prostitutes himself is another weirdo with odd sexual tastes. Ugly girl's younger pre-teen sister for some reason gets very interested in the money the sister is making and one days shows up on the street ready to...work. Christiane who initially isn't the most hard-core junky turns around and becomes a very bad influence on her friends. But all these didn't make up for the series's shortcomings. There was potential here to come up with something great given the generous budged. Of course, these days, they couldn't have gotten away with doing things they way the story required, and an all out unpleasant ugly series wouldn't have been the answer either. But this series needed a lot more edge.

Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

Emotionally powerful

[7/10 · 21 August 2022]

Kids find a corpse in the middle of a marsh, which we are told are different from swamps. Police arrive and don't really find much evidence of wrong-doing but quickly arrest "marsh girl" - a young woman who lives by herself in the middle of the marsh and who was the dead guy's lover at some point. A kind lawyer (lol) offers help. Marsh girl at first doesn't say a word, but eventually opens up and tells us her story.

She was one of several siblings who grew up in the same house she now inhabits, in a violent household ruled by the drunk and brutal father. She befriends a kid but her father convinces her to stay away from people because they are all bad. Eventually, the mother left somehow leaving all the kids there. Then her siblings left without her as well. She stayed and figured out how to live with her dad by mostly staying out of his way. Then suddenly the father leaves...leaving the little girl all by herself !?! She manages to make it somehow by collecting mussels and selling them to the only store nearby, all this by driving a boat by herself. The store owners take a liking to her, but not enough to adopt her, look for relatives, or turning her over to authorities. So that's how she somehow grows up. The store owners convince her one day to go to school in the town nearby because there she will be at least fed once a day. She goes one day but is ridiculed by all the kids who somehow happen to be rich so she never returns. Social services at times try looking for her but she evades them every time.

Back in the present, the trial starts. Of course the prosecution doesn't have much of a case, but since she's the "outsider" everyone is hostile to her and she makes the perfect villain. In between the trial, the story of her growing-up continues. As a teen, she again meets the kid who befriended her as a child. They both have an interest in feathers. They are perfect for each other. But the kid goes off to college. He promises to return for the 4th of July and meet her at the beach to watch the fireworks. Of course he doesn't show up and breaks her heart. So she focuses all her attention on drawing the animals and plants of the region.

One day, years later, some rich kids are one the same beach as she, and one guy befriends her. They become lovers and their relationship becomes very serious, even though he doesn't think all that much of her and her hobby. But who comes back to town? Her ex of course, who picks a fight with her new love. One day she's in town and runs into her man...and meets his fiancee. So her heart is broken again. So the ex thinks he has a chance again. But she of course doesn't want to see him but eventually agrees and they become a couple again.

The trial continues and her lawyer carefully dismantles every piece of the prosecutor's evidence. At some point she had sent some of her drawings to a publisher which to her surprise agreed to publish her work. In time she becomes a renowned author expert on the flora and fauna of the North Carolina marshes. One key piece of evidence is a necklace which she had made for her guy/victim. But that necklace was missing from the corpse.

The verdict comes in. But instead of ending the movie there, it goes on fast forwarding years as she lives in the house with her guy and gains more fame with her books. There's a surprise near the end as she advances in age.

Where the Crawdads Sing isn't really my genre of movie, nor have I read the book. I like the setting and the girl. As preposterous as it is, the story is still pretty good. Not a fan of movies that frame the story within a trial, it rarely works. And here too you get to a point where you want to see more trial and less long and slow motion flashbacks. I was surprised by how much the story of heartbreak affected me as well as her memories of her mom. There is also a powerful scene of her brother one day returning years later as an adult army guy. So overall this is an attractive and likeable movie, that's a bit too long.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Average

[6/10 · 21 August 2022]

Maverick is out there in the desert minding his own business taking care of his plane when he's called back to Top Gun for a task...to train and filter out the greatest pilots the US has for a critical mission. Then we meet said pilots aces...the most sorry, ridiculous, absurd bunch of teenagers you could possibly find. If you were casting teen Big Brother (how the hell is that show still on the air?) or some MTV garbage these clowns would be ideal. At issue is some country that is developing nuclear weapons and the US has decided to blow up that facility. The facility is hidden inside the bottom of the center of what looks like an inactive volcano. The only way to get there is through a curvy valley. So Maverick has to train these geniuses to fly at low altitude (otherwise anti-aircraft missiles will target them) through a valley, then up one side of mountain then down, hit the target, rush up the other steeper side of the mountain without blacking out, then evading the enemy aircraft. There will have to be two teams of two because it takes two strikes to blow up the interior of the facility.

There's a love interest and ex for Maverick who runs a bar near the flight school. She has a daughter. There is drama between Maverick and one of the kids who is the son of the one pilot who died in the original Top Gun and Maverick promised his mom to keep him out of danger, which he did, so the kid hates Maverick for getting in the way of his career (even though here he is). The higher ups of course can't stand Maverick but have to put up with him because he was the choice of none other than Iceman himself, who runs the place and is very ill. That leads to a touching scene with Val Kilmer.

Eventually, Maverick's stint as instructor ends just as he was warming up to the kids and before the mission begins. As everyone knows, this particular successful mission would require of several "miracles." Even though Maverick has been kicked out he decides to prove that he is the only one who can train the kids by doing a test run himself because conveniently near the school there is a valley and mountain identical to the geography of the bad guys's country. He makes it, forcing the higher ups to re-admit Maverick...not as an instructor but as a pilot for the actual mission!

So off they go to attack their target, Maverick gets shot down during the process. The one kid has a change of heart and decides to rescue Maverick, which leaves both in enemy territory, coincidentally near an enemy airfield where they find...an old F-14 for some reason. They start it up no problem and off they fly with enemy on their tail, when another kid, who is presented as the nemesis saves the day.

Back on the ground, Maverick still has to resolve things with the ex.

Top Gun: Maverick comes decades too late. Tom Cruise despite his status as a movie star plays things too low key and tongue-in-cheek for the role. Kosinski is the the wrong director for this movie; Miranda the wrong cinematographer. This movie should have tried to capture the flashiness and spectacularity that made the first iconic. But it doesn't bother. It should have launched the career of one of the secondary actors but it doesn't do that either. The couple of airplane scenes are alright, nothing spectacular. The coolest part here are the 5th gen enemy aircraft and their sinister-looking pilots. The climactic scene of the characters carrying out the mission is indeed thrilling but that's about it. This is the kind of movie that could have done with less story and character development but needed more aircraft/aircraft carrier action scenes.

Dark Glasses (2022)

Enjoyable for what it is.

[7/10 · 19 June 2022]

Some prostitute leaves a fancy hotel after meeting a customer. On her way out she has a throat slashed with wire and ends up dead covered in blood. The police arrive. A witness saw a black van. We see the criminal now painting the van white.

A girl arrives somewhere during an eclipse. She's also a fine prostitute. She asks a customer to take a shower because he stinks. He happens to be a dog breeder and instead decides to leave, insulting her angrily. At night she's followed by the white van, which rear-ends her launching her car forwards so it crashes into another car killing the dad driver, while the wife ends up in the hospital. So does our prostitute who has a brain hemorrhage that leaves her blind. Some social worker helps her to cope, gives her a walking stick, a special phone, and a guide dog. The prostitute tries to make amends with the surviving son of the accident. He is now in an orphanage and eventually ends up living with her. That causes problems with the police so they decide to spend time at the social worker's out in the country. But the van-killer is also after them and coincidentally kills the two cops who were about to remove the kid from her "custody." That gives the killer access to the cop's phone. And the dumb kid for some reason calls the cop's number giving the killer their location who is now on his way to get them. So a blind prostitute and a child will have to try to save themselves from a determined killer, at night, somewhere out in unfamiliar territory.

Dark Glasses is a refreshing giallo, refreshing because no one does them anymore, and it is done with a bit or a retro flavor. There's the constant sinister and menacing synth music, which is kinda cool. Problem for me though was that as usual for a horror movie, it very quickly turned night, a very long night, where no one ever turns a light on. On top of that, cinematography is exceedingly dark in itself, so this movie wasn't enjoyable to watch in that regard. But otherwise it's good at what it does. Of course the kid and even the prostitute and awfully dumb and annoying, but that's expected. Things so get very bloody though and there's a bit of nudity. So overall, I enjoyed Dark Glasses. Oh and for once, the dog survives...and then some.

Ambulance (2022)

No thanks.

[4/10 · 12 June 2022]

Some guy organizing some bank job in LA recruits his reluctant brother from different parents. Elsewhere the universe's best paramedic is training some rookie. Elsewhere, an FBI bank robbery expert and his partner are getting therapy. Elsewhere, two ridiculous cops are busy worrying about, what else, chicks. So one cop convinces the other to ask a bank teller on a date. But the bank is closed...because of the heist in progress. No problem, guy just lets the cop in. It all goes to heck of course. For some reason some other cops are sitting on the bank just waiting for our guys to come out. The escape driver has engine troubles and runs into the other cop waiting outside for his buddy. The geniuses plan en exiting through the front door with millions in duffel bags but outside cop recognized his friend in distress inside. A shootout ensues which sees the other cops waiting spring to action and kill all the cool robbers except for the two dumb brothers. The ambulance makes it into the parking lot as well because by now, romance cop has been shot. So our two guys decide to grab the ambulance and escape, with the injured cop and the greatest ever EMT inside. The rookie EMT gets kicked out.

Turns out that reluctant brother is also the best driver ever so he has no problem racing an ambulance around LA with dozens of cops unable to keep up. And that's what follows, 1 hour and a half of an ambulance police chase with dozens of cars getting destroyed in the process. FBI guy joins the chase with tough guy cop in charge. Turns out that FBI guy knows our guy because he too was in the FBI and took all these bank robbery training classes and then dropped out. He's responsible for a bunch of bank robberies, a skill he inherited from his dad. There's some business about saving the injured cop's life inside the ambulance while ambulance is drifting around LA streets.

Eventually the guys have an idea to unleash a bunch of identical ambulances to confuse the cops. They do that with their contacts in the underworld. And it works for a while. Except that in the process, the mobster helping them lost his son, so he isn't happy. They all have a falling out and the police finally catch up with them again.

So finally Bay gets to around to attempting an LA bank heist movie, except it isn't about the heist at all. Heists are exciting, they involve planning and careful execution which Bay can't handle. So none of it is shown on screen. Instead this movie turns into a wacky LA police chase with the expected Bay chaotic vehicle mayhem. It's all pretty stupid stuff frankly and I couldn't get myself to care about any of these people. Even adolescents these days deserve better films. The movie is also way too long for what it has to offer, and doesn't want to end. Typical for a Bay film, there are occasional out of place beautiful shots, and plenty of melodramatic junk. There was material here for a decent heist/escape movie but that would require a maturity Bay lacks. So instead we get uninspired car crashes that come across as tastelessly anachronistic.

Memory (I) (2022)

Good concept not handled properly

[5/10 · 22 May 2022]

Some dude is negotiating a deal with some guy in Mexico. Turns out it's for having sex with the guy's 13-year old daughter. When dude is with the girl he identifies himself as a law enforcement, the girl freaks out and calls her dad. An entire task force (FBI+local Mexican police) smashes through the door. The guy grabs his daughter and points a gun to her head. FBI dude, runs at him and both fall out the window. Pimp guy dies. His daughter now hates the FBI guy Vincent.

Then we meet Liam as a nurse in El Paso. Two bad guys show up at the hospital. The really bad guy wants to visit his sick mom. But Liam is there and kills him and then the mother. As he escapes he forgets something.

Then we meet Liam's handler. Turns out Liam wants out, but his handler has One Last Job (TM) for him. He Reluctantly (TM) agrees. Liam has a brother who is in some nursing home. His next to last job is stealing stuff from someone's safe. We find out that Liam has memory issues as well having to write stuff down on his forearm.

Meanwhile the girl from the intro somehow ends up in an ICE detention center. Vincent becomes obsessed with her and has her placed in foster care. So does the Mexican police guy who was involved in the task force. Even though the task force has be abolished he's still in El Paso. Turns out that Liam's Last Job (TM) is the girl. When he enters the home to kill her and realizes he age he refuses to do the job. His handler explains to him that unless he obeys things are going to turn bad. Liam spends time in a hotel and meets a hooker whom he defends from some abusive guy. Because that's what contract killers do. He spends the night with her. Vincent is called to to the foster house and finds the girl shot in the head. When Liam finds out about it he freaks out and wonders whether he really spent the entire night with the hooker. As he leaves the hotel the hooker follows him to give him his Alzheimer's pills. Suddenly she's shot and and shootout ensues in the parking garage. Shooting at Liam is none other than his handler, for refusing to do the job.

Behind all this is the lovely Monica Bellucci who is the El Paso's main mobster. She is looking for eternal life from her doctor and she also has a son. Liam thanks to some flash drives he grabbed from the safe earlier on knows about her and her family and decides to go after her and her family. While Vincent and local cops are starting to go after him, thanks in part to Liam calling Vincent that he didn't kill the girl. Eventually Vincent believes him and stars to build a case against Monica, in spite of the DA's reservations about this fool's errand of trying to imprison rich people.

The question is whether the girl will get justice and at the hands of whom, given that Liam's Alzheimer's is worsening and he even gets shot at some point.

Memory is based on a good and interesting story. I haven't seen the original movie but I have no doubt the European version is better, given that human sex trafficking is more of a thing over there. Not quite sure turning it into an El Paso/immigration things works. In any case. While it's getting beyond tiring to see Neeson in these roles, at least this time around with his character having Alzheimer's, it almost makes sense. Except that no one wants to see the likeable killer with mental or other health issues. The political aspect with the DA and Vincent's spineless FBI boss also work. But Vincent's partner is ridiculous and is one of the most obnoxious characters I have even seen in movies: some multicultural chick, foul-mouthed as hell and self-righteous, arrogant, and endowed with privilege. She alone ruined the movie for me. Otherwise as is common these day, this movie is about 25 minutes too long. There are too many bad guy characters here that are not given enough attention. That's the problem when you put your main "star" in a role that's really more suited for a secondary role. Vincent should have been the main character here.

Shark Bait (2022)

Not much to it.

[4/10 · 22 May 2022]

5 kids are partying during spring break somewhere in Malta playing as Mexico. There's 3 guys and 2 girls. Why couldn't it be 3 girls and 2 guys? 1 girl and 1 guy are a couple. The other girl flirts with that very guy. Next morning they decide to "borrow" 2 jet skis. They drive those things like maniacs way out there away from the coast and manage to crash into each other, sinking one jet ski with one guy breaking his leg. So now they are stuck far out there on one jet ski. One guy ends up drowning, the other guy decides to be a tough guy and swim back to shore. He finds a ship but before he makes it there, a shark finds him. That leaves the guy with the broken leg and the 2 girls on the jet ski. There's some obligatory drama between these 3. One of the girls decides to try and fix the engine of the jet ski but by then the shark has also found them and is stalking and haunting them. So the question is, for anyone that actually, cares, which one of these will actually make it out alive.

Shark Bait is a minimalist movie centering around these uninteresting 5 out there in them middle of nowhere. There is not a whole lot of sense of dread with a shark swimming around unless one of these kids does something stupid. Fortunately it's a short movie since it doesn't really offer a lot.

The Contractor (2022)

Pass

[4/10 · 8 May 2022]

James is dishonorably discharged from service because they found drugs in his system, drugs which he uses for his knee injury. Conveniently his buddy Mike shows up with an offer to work for Rusty (Kiefer!) as a private military contractor. Facing financial ruin he can't say no to a juicy check that's handed to him. Why a PMC would want a guy with an chronically injured knee working for them who knows.

Off the team goes to Berlin to look after a Syrian scientist who according to Rusty is working on bioweapons. The team easily gets to him while he's working for some reason at night in is camera-free facility. But they are informed in the middle of it that police are on their way. They decide to make it look like a lab accident. Mike orders James to get rid of the scientist. The scientists begs for his life telling him that he's just working on anti-viral vaccines and that he has all the proof stashed away somewhere. Nevertheless James follows his orders.

On the way out thru the forest they are attacked by police. A shootout ensues, everyone dies except for an injured Mike and James who escape through the sewers. Mike is in bad shape and James does a blood transfusion. Next morning Mike leaves just fine, and it's James that is messed up with his knee. He can barely walk but makes it to the safe hotel. Mike is a no-show. He calls Rusty who tells him that he will be picked up. But he realizes that the guys sent by Rusty are up to no good. So he visits the scientists wife, gets the info from a safe box, confirms that what the scientist said was true and realizes that he was set up from the get-go.

Now he has to make it back to the US in one piece, even though Rusty's guys are still after him, and confront Rusty.

This all sounds OK, you're usual "stabbed in the back by your buddy" themed-movie. A theme which is just too ludicrous given US culture of promoting everyone and covering up everything with zero accountability. But it's an easy script to write, one that also makes for cheap thrills. But here there's so much additional crap no one cares about--James's family, his flashbacks about his tough dad. It's 30 minutes into the movie when finally the operation begins. But still I couldn't get myself to care for James. The villain is never established as a bad guy and no ultimate explanations are given for it all. There's just so much goofiness in this movie, I thought it was a Netflix production. There was material here for a decent action thriller, but direction, editing and music are completely off the mark.

No Time to Die (2021)

A welcome change that leaves things to be desired.

[7/10 · 16 April 2022]

In the past, some girl and her mother are attacked somewhere by a masked guy who says the the man of the house killed his family. The mom ends up dead. The girl turns out to be a great shot and shoots the guy then drags him single-handedly out of the house through snow. Then the guy resuscitates. The girl falls into a frozen lake but the guy decides to rescue her for some reason.

Bond is in now Italy with Madeleine living the good life. They're all over each other like teenagers. He decides to visit Vesper's grave (not this crap again). There he's attacked by a bunch of guys one of whom reveals that Madeleine has a secret. Bond rushes back to get Madeleine and leave but of course they are intercepted by the bad guys but manage to escape. He puts her on a train ending their relationship.

Some scientist receives a call and is told that he will be grabbed and to give the guys whatever they want. Sure enough some mercenaries arrive kill everyone and grab the guy. He's then forced to give them some bioweapon but instead gives them something else, keeping the real stuff from himself.

The most logical thing for Bond to do next...take a vacation in Jamaica. There he runs into the CIA's Leiter and Ash from the "State Department." They tell him about the scientist and want Bond to pick him up. After he meets his replacement, the new bizarrely casted 007, he agrees to travel to Cuba to get the scientist. The new 007 has the same mission.

In Cuba the CIA puts in him contact with inexplicable-Hollywood-darling-of-the-day Ana de Armas--the only bond-girl in this flick. They attend a Spectre party (because putting all the world's bad guys in a single place really makes sense). During the party they get an audio pep talk from imprisoned Blofeld (not this guy again) for his birthday. He announces that Bond will die but instead all the Specte guys start dying horribly, to the delight of the scientist. Bond grabs him but then the repulsive 007 nabs him away from Bond. There's a shootout with some bad guys. Bond re-grabs the scientist and hands him over to Leiter and Ash. Ash kills Leiter and escapes with the scientist. Turns out Ash is working for the bad guy from the intro, one Lyutsifer (why not directly Lucifer?) Safin.

Now Bond is taken back into the fold. MI6 had the scientist create the genetic weapon based on nanobots that targets only specific individuals based on their DNA (!). Now the idea is for Bond and Madeleine to interview Blofeld. But before that, Safin got to Madeleine and gave her some nanobots that will kill Blofeld only. While she changes her mind and leaves, Bond inadvertently transferred the nanobots to him and inadvertently transfers them to Blofeld killing him, hopefully and finally already.

Bond and Madeleine make up at her place where he learns she has a daughter. He also learns about her childhood encounter with Safin. Eventually they are attacked by Safin's guy's. They capture Madeleine and the girl.

MI6 figures out that Blofeld wanted to kill some huge list of people. And now for no good reason Safin wants to kill a huge chunk of the world's population. His lair is some missile silo facility on an island somewhere, called toxic island. So now Bond has to go there to rescue the girls and eliminate Safin. But things don't work out quite as planned.

No Time do Die is for sure a departure from recent Bonds, in many ways a welcome departure. Gone is the ostentatious and pompous Craig-Bond who spent entire movies striking ridiculous Vogue poses trying to sell some luxury branded crap instead of acting. Gone are also the awful voice effects that made Bond sound like a cartoon superhero. So we have a more human Bond who acts and sounds like a regular person. But there also plenty of shortcomings. The story doesn't convince since it is again all about Bond, instead than the mission(s) and as such pretty directionless. There is no villain really. Ash is underused and quickly disposed. Blofeld gets little screen time--thankfully. And Safin was never established as a villain. He doesn't do anything except kill Madeleine's mom in revenge in the intro and all the Spectre people--presumably a good thing, and then only shows up in person for the final act. There is no over the top intro action scene, for better or worse. The few action sequences are well done. Once again the title song is awful and so are the title credits. Regardless of political correctness, nothing beats the naked girls intro credit scenes. While Bond movies used to have something to say about the times, this one has nothing to say. The only interesting thing is the bio-genetic weapon developed to target specific populations, which is very relevant today. But not enough attention is payed to it in the movie.

The best thing about this movie really is that finally the embarrassing Bond love affair soap opera series of movies is laid to rest. Now the 007 movies can get back to business hopefully in the competent hands of the Nolans. But I'm not holding my breath. Given the political climate these days, I suspect casting and direction of future 007 movies will be an utter disaster, unless they wait a decade or so for the circus to be over.