bazmitch23 Reviews

Willow: Behind the Magic (2023)

Ugh!

[1/10 · 6 February 2023]

This is really a mockumentary, and it's not funny like This is Spinal Tap or Borat. The running joke in this "Behind the scenes" is that Warwick Davis is a narcissist who's difficult to work with, brags on about how great he is and he hates Christian Slater. The cast and crew talk about how difficult Warwick is and....... UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ITS NOT FUNNY! I HATE THESE MOCK MAKING OF'S!

If you're expecting any actual behind the scenes info, you might see about two minutes of it! The rest is just a joke, an overlong one that isn't funny!

Imagine if they did this in the documentaries about the Star Wars or Marvel shows!!! UGH!!! 😡

Judge Dredd: The Day the Law Died (2022 Video)

Drokking Obnoxious!

[2/10 · 11 December 2022]

I enjoyed Big Finish's Judge Dredd audio dramas, despite their flaws.

But this production REALLY annoyed me! The characters spoke in really stupid voices. Dredd sounds like Popeye if he smoked too much, and don't get me started on Walter the Wobot! 😡

The supporting characters such as the mutants and citizens of the Big Meg are no better either. They all talk in dopey stupid voices that sound like the Brain Specialists from Monty Python.

You know when a child does silly voices and you tell him or her to stop it? Imagine two hours of that.

But the only saving grace is Judge Caligula. He's wonderfully camp and so in love with himself that it's hilarious! His best friend is a fish and he makes strange demands. The actor playing had such fun camping it up.

The sound effects are also fine.

"The Day The Law Died", you're guilty for being annoying! That's ten years in the Iso-Cubes! Judge Cal, you're free to go, though.

Court is adjourned.

Judge Dredd: Pre-Emptive Revenge (2004 Video)

Sneck This Audio Play!

[3/10 · 11 December 2022]

It's a real shame because I was looking forward to this: Simon Pegg in a Judge Dredd audio drama! But what I got was Dredd and Johnny Alpha arguing for 48 Drokking minutes! You know when two people are having an argument, and you just want to leave the room? That's this audio play!

Simon Pegg is well cast as Johnny Alpha and Toby Longworth is spot on as Dredd as usual, but the play is let down by poor direction.

"Just argue and shout at each other for an hour. People will like that."

Just listen to the Strontium Dog audio dramas instead of this Stom!

Pre-Emptive Revenge, you are guilty for just arguing for nearly an hour. That's five years in the Iso-Cubes. Sneck you very much. Court is adjourned.

Icons of Horror 3 (2021)

Surprisingly good

[7/10 · 3 May 2022]

I didn't like Trent Duncan's other "Icons of Horror" movies because they were just short films all clumsily edited together. Also what did Harley Quinn and GI Joe's Cobra have to do with horror?

However this one works because it was one while plot, it wasn't just fight scene after fight scene after fight scene, it was really about Freddy trying to get a team together with hilarious results.

The film is actually quite funny, very similar to Evil Dead's humour, and didn't suffer from the typical bad jokes you'd normally find in a YouTube film.

My only complaint was that Freddy's mask was very stiff and motionless, but then, that's the downside of a no budget film. And I liked how Trent created a female Ash due to the film's limitations.

Good job, Trent. Now roll on "Icons of Horror 4" .

CD-i Zelda: The Movie (2008)

"Come back when you're a little. ... Mmmmmm.....richer."

[8/10 · 11 February 2021]

I remember watching this back in the day. Team Sponkel had their success with Hotel Mario: The Movie, so fans pleaded then to make both Zelda CD-i games.

Sadly, the duo only made Link: The Faces of Evil, but one day we might get Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon.

Mr X and Rob play all the parts with the help of different coloured shirts and props. Fake moustaches made from paper that keeps falling off, a Christmas hat for Link, complete with a small plastic sword and a bit of cardboard for the shield.

Unable to reenact all the cutscenes, the narrator even says "Link fought Glutko, the big ooze monster, that we can't show you because we don't have any costumes for it."

However, the duo reenact the popular opening, the Morshu scene, Goruno, the blacksmith and the showdown with Ganon at the end.

Facepaint for Ganon would've been nice, though.

Also no blonde wig for Zelda?

Don't expect anything Oscar worthy, but if you want to see a fun mockery of the cutscenes from one of he worst games ever made, check this out.

Let us hope for the release of Team Sponkel's Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon.

Lost in Brainland (2017 Video)

Great doc on a 90s cheesefest

[7/10 · 3 November 2020]

The filmmakers of Evil Ed made this documentary themselves, instead of waiting for someone else to make it.

The gang explain that they made a film called "Highlight" which never got finished, but clips are shown. Which lead them to make Evil Ed.

They explain that filming was meant to last four weeks, but lasted for nearly two years due to their inexperience with filmmaking.

The original cut of the movie was a disaster and they had to reshoot scenes to make the movie more action packed. The hospital climax was filmed a year later.

Then they talk about voice actors from Sweden's radio station "Bandit Radio" we're brought in to dub the voices. No info on Bill Moseley sadly.

Then they talk about trying to get the film released, which was only released in four cinemas and then went straight to video.

However, that's when the cult following happened and the cast and crew got recognised for it. They haven't done much since this film, but Goran Lundstrom got an Oscar nomination for best make up in 2019.

The most annoying interviewee is the actress who played Mel. All she says is "I don't remember anything at all." I HATE it when actors and actresses tell jokey misinformation like that!

Another problem is that when someone is interviewed, their names appear, but not their occupation. Normally, it would say "Name" and then "Director" below it. Here, you have to check the credits to see which crew member did what.

Overall, the doc is very long, but if you're a fan of this movie and want to know about its troubled production, check it out.

Bananaman (1983–1986)

Has not held up well

[2/10 · 15 September 2020]

The animation is very cheap and the character designs are shoody.

The sound mixing is awful. The music is so loud that it is almost impossible to hear the dialogue.

The Goodies do a good job doing the voices, when you can actually hear them!

RIP Tim.

If the Bananaman reboot gets made, hopefully it won't be as creepy as Dennis and Gnasher Unleashed.

Highgate House of Horror (2007 Video)

Really good for a home made film

[8/10 · 1 December 2019]

Home made movies are usually poorly acted, have terrible jokes and an unoriginal plot. But the League were professional actors who were trying to get their big break, and they succeeded with their TV series.

The acting, dialogue and jokes are spot on, despite the League's limitations.

Each storyline is basic, but oozes with simplistic charm.

My only complaint is that the sound can get really choppy.

If you want to see a home movie done right, then watch this film.

Bob and Margaret: New Lease on Life (2001) Season 4, Episode 1

I can see why this is the lowest rated episode

[1/10 · 12 November 2019]

We have a scene where Bob and the dogs are in the park. Bob praises Elizabeth for taking a poo, but scolds William for not doing one. Then Bob picks up the poo and throws into a baby's pram, mistaking it for a bin. Then we hear the baby crying....

This was supposed to be funny? I

Also, Bob angry at William for not taking a dump is never focused again throughout the episode. It's like the writers had no idea of how to start it.

After almost getting into a car accident, Bob and Margaret decide to go on a dangerous rollercoaster, and then Bob tried to find his passion for life. Margaret does by helping troubled teenagers.

The episode doesn't know what it wants to do, and it suffers from a case of "Writers out of ideas" syndrome that a lot of shows have.

And this is the first episode of Season 4!

I don't mind seasons 3 and 4, but this episode sucks. And that scene where Bob puts dog poo into the baby's pram should be edited out. This is Seth MacFarlane type humour.

Ivor the Invisible (2001 TV Movie)

Can you say "unlikable"?

[3/10 · 26 July 2019]

I remember watching this back on Christmas 2001, and after viewing it again....

😡

Ivor is SUCH an unlikable character, causing mischief and has probably sent John and his family to prison!

Ivor has no redeeming qualities what do ever and learns nothing!

Also, every time Ivor "speaks", we get an annoying sci-fi like noise, which gets irritating after a while.

The animation is good, if you're familar with the films based on Raymond Briggs' stories.

The films ends on such a down note. That was nice for Christmas viewing, was it?

Just stick with The Snowman and Father Christmas.

Sonic Live in Sydney (1997)

CRINGE!

[1/10 · 7 July 2019]

Ugh, this show is BAD!!! The voice acting is terrible! Tails isn't too bad, but Sonic is AWFUL! His voice actress does a terrible American accent that slips back into Aussie. Sally has got a Southern accent for some reason. Robotnik's voice actor is actually good, sounding a lot like Long John Baldry. But there is one problem: Robotnik is in love with Sally.

😱

Ugh, what was the writer smoking? Ugh, and the songs are hideous! The dialogue just makes you wanna stop listening after 5 minutes. However, if you listen to the whole 25 minutes, like I did, then we deserve a medal.

A Voice from the Dark (2019)

Not bad

[6/10 · 29 June 2019]

I love audioplays, they're also easier to make than going on location and having major problems, which was what the cast of this play suffered from on the other Anniversary movies. A simple story of our heroes entering a haunted house and terrible things happen.

The acting is never great on any internet movie, but their voice acting in this is pretty good. Also we have pictures of each character when they speak appear on screen, whereas any other audioplay, you just look at a blank screen and have to guess who's talking.

The jokes however are hot and miss, we get funny ones like Hagan abusing her minion, and we get some lame pop culture jokes. Internet reviewers are not professional comedians and have never learned to write or do comedy which is why the jokes are usually so awful.

However, we do get a nice "take that" to Channel Awesome.

Overall, this play was just okay. It is better than the other Anniversary specials.

Make Love! The Bruce Campbell Way (2005)

Fifty Shades of Bruce

[8/10 · 29 June 2019]

Originally going to be a fake "how to" guide, Bruce had a "What if" idea. What if he did a movie with Richard Gere and Renee Zellweger?

It is almost like fan fiction, but Bruce has written himself as the John Sue.

Throughout the story, Bruce studies his role by joining a Gentleman's Club and goes on a night in Vegas with Richard and a sleazy ladies' man with unsuccessful results.

Bruce then discovers that someone on his new movie wants to get rid of him and why.

He also meets Liz Taylor and Jack Nicholson (Ted Raimi doing a bad impression of him).

Bruce fans will have fun pointing out the Evil Dead references and hearing Ted Raimi playing multiple characters. It's a shame that the voice actors for this audioplay are never revealed, but you can spot Ted and Dan Hicks if you know your Bruce movies. For all I know, Lucy Lawless could've played some of the characters.

My only problem with this audioplay is that some of the scenes are just filler. Some scenes drag on a bit such as Bruce writing a back story for his character, and the scenes at the Gentlemen's Club and with Liz Taylor drag on a bit. Also a scene where Bruce gets caught by security at an airport did to having a recordable pen. Which plays footage of him having a diahhrea attack sounds ripped off (pun intended) from Naked Gun.

But Bruce's ever so good one liners and the voice acting are on top form, plus it shows you how much being an actor sucks. You might learn something from this audioplay.

Bruce fans should check it out on YouTube, but it is so damn long, so make sure you have a lot of time. Despite that, this is pretty groovy. 😣 Sigh, I know....

My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)

My Super Unlikable Female Lead

[1/10 · 15 June 2019]

Jenny is a horrible person! She makes the movie really difficult to sit through. She is also VERY abusive! She not only caused Matt to lose his job, but also TRIES TO KILL HIM AND AN INNOCENT GIRL BY THROWING A SHARK INTO HIS APARTMENT! WOW! Later in the film, when she ends her fued with Matt, she says "That's why I didn't kill you."

😟 WHAT!

GRR! 😠 Very rarely I watch a film that makes me angry, and this is on the top five, along with "Mr Woodcock" and "The Martins".

The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 (1990)

Average

[6/10 · 15 May 2019]

I remember watching the Mario cartoons in the early 90s. They're not bad, but they haven't aged well. The animation is dodgy and plagued by continuity errors. The sound mixing is poor on some episodes, not all of them, mind you. The music is so loud, that you can't hear the dialogue. And the songs. Dear God, the songs are HORRIBLE! They're sung with really screechy cartoony voices that makes it seen like a bad X Factor audition. However, the stories aren't too bad, it is true to the games, and it's nice to hear Mario speak in his Brooklyn accent, instead of his stereotypical Italian one. Overall, not bad, but not that great.

Dragon Ball: Curse of the Blood Rubies (1986)

Pointless!

[1/10 · 23 April 2019]

The whole movie is only 50 minutes long, that's not a movie. Although, rumour has it that this is an edited version. Next problem is that it is a whole retelling of the first season! Why? They do the same jokes and same dialogue. Also when a new character is introduced, the movie just rushes it and moves on without getting to know them. As for the Dragon ball search, it is rushed too. The gang just happens to find the Dragonballs in the finale all at once! 😕 Erm......

Overall, a waste of time. Only worth watching it you don't wanna sit through the whole of Season 1.

Kenan & Kel: The April Fools (2000) Season 4, Episode 12

A good message about the consequences of playing pranks.

[9/10 · 1 April 2019]

Joke responsibly indeed. This episode shows you what happens when you act like a prick. You get your just desserts. Kenan and Kel have fun pranking people rather horribly, that they deserve to end up in a cell. Not only that, but Kenan doesn't end up going to college. Serves him right. One of my favourite episodes of this childhood classic. And a good message for kids.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles on Trial (1989) Season 3, Episode 2

The people of New York hate the turtles even though they stopped a robbery?

[1/10 · 16 February 2019]

It's like the writers were trying to make this episode as unpleasant as possible. It's not just Clayton who is an a**hole, the people of New York are too. But then again, they're New Yorkers....

In the scene where Clayton humiliates the Turtles on the air, it would been nice if Raphael, the a**hole of the turtles gave him a taste of his own medicine by making fun of him.

And after all the s*** The Turtles go through, do we get a happy ending?

Nope, we get probably one of the worst endings in the show. Clayton doesn't get his comupence, he just walks away and continues to be a c***.

Damn! Guys, this is a kids' show, and you're just gonna leave it like that?

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: The Remake (2015 TV Movie)

Pretty good for a fan film

[7/10 · 13 February 2019]

Normally I hate shot for shot remakes like Psycho (1998), Carrie (2013) and Beauty and the Beast (2017). But I liked this film because of the ambition; It is just a group of high school students remaking Holy Grail. As a fan film you wonder "How are they going to do the Black Knight scene?", "How are they going to do the killer rabbit scene?" and so on.

It is all achieved with no budget but plenty of home made charm that makes me laugh. The castle scenes were shot inside living rooms with cardboard walls and the village scenes were shot on a farm.

The acting and accents are not the greatest, but not the worst either. Some kids don't even attempt to do an English accent. However, Zac Wilson who played all the John Cleese parts is actually pretty good. He does different accents including French and Scottish (not very well, but not terrible).

The cast recorded a commentary on this film explaining what house each scene was filmed in.

However, footage from the actual Monty Python movie (the animations and battle scene at the end) are used and filmed off a computer, according to the commentary. I would've perfered if they either not used footage from the movie and just used cheap looking Lego models or something, to add to the no budget charm. Or for the God scene, have an actor wear a cotton wool beard and Burger King crown.

Overall, if you want to see High school students reenact the whole of Monty Python and The Holy Grail, this is for you.

The Simpsons: Another Simpsons Clip Show (1994) Season 6, Episode 3

What a horrible episode!

[1/10 · 4 December 2018]

The main problem with this episode was that Marge and Homer very openingly admit that that they both cheated on each other. WHAT? And when the episode is over, they're just okay, as if nothing happened. Bulls***! Also what ever happened to Mindy? She became an alcoholic and lost her job. Seriously? Just like that? You're gonna give a minor character the boot? Punishing her for being attractive to Homer? Something that wasn't even her own fault! This episode just makes me feel sick.

The FanFic Critic (2010– )

Really does not hold up well

[4/10 · 28 October 2018]

I used to watch this show a few years ago, cos I am a fan fic writer myself. There are some good episodes like "Peggy's Revenge", "Cloud Mows the Lawn", "Timeless Lust" and "Sonichu". But the rest is just Megan screaming at the camera and throwing tantrums over spelling mistakes. I had to turn the volume down most of the time. Plus, having to listen to someone just stare into the camera and read the story to you is just plain boring! "Jack-a-nory", this ain't. (A children's show in the UK).

The best episodes worked because she was with her friend Archangel Assassian. They worked because of the banter between those girls, however, they both had a falling out a few years ago, and Megan said it was for the best. (As someone with a bad friend in the past, I can relate)

Overall, in retrospect, just not a good show. Also, Susan's accent is just cringeworthy. It puts Keanu Reeves to shame.

Ouija (2015)

Very good for YouTube film

[9/10 · 8 August 2018]

Most short films on YouTube are not very good, full of bad acting, bad sound, bad editing, wind blowing in the mic, etc.

Horror fan Roly shows his horror traits with what would happen if one should mess with a Ouija board. A living nightmare filled with backwards voices, flashing imagery, blood running out of the eyes, the sort of horror Uwe Boll tried and failed to do.

Jump scares are also effective. Watch this movie in a small dark room. Trust me.

Well done, Roly! I hope you make another one.

Bad Education (2012–2024)

Lives up to its title

[2/10 · 17 February 2018]

The biggest problem with this show is that it tries WAY too hard to both funny and hip for the kids.

Jack Whitehall is an okay actor, but he tries so hard to humiliate himself to get a cheap laugh. To be honest, some of his jokes work, others don't.

The episode where he asks a farmer "Do all meerkats come from Russia?" is just so cringeworthy.

The students are stereotypes that we have seen in other High School comedies. We have the gay kid, the smart Asian one, the slut, the tough kid and the wannabe rapper.

The show also suffers from really annoying dubstep music, again trying too hard to be cool for the target audience.

Also, the editing......... dear God, the EDITING! It looks like a child edited this. Jokes have to work because of the timing, but when you have sudden jump cuts between comedic scenes, it doesn't work.

But the number one thing I hate about this show is Fraser.

I HATE THIS CHARACTER WITH A PASSION!

I get that the joke is that he tries too hard to be cool and fails everytime, but he is just not funny. You can't have a character suddenly shouting "REWIND!" and "TOP BANTER!" and expect it to be funny. Its like a child tugging at his or her's parents clothes and saying "Look at me!"

This show is like Jack Whitehall's stand up; Only funny in small doses.

Ninja Eliminator 4: The French Connection (2015)

Not the best of the Ninja Eliminator films

[3/10 · 9 January 2018]

The first 3 movies worked because they were made by RKSS, so they knew what they wanted to do with them. Here, it's given to someone else and it doesn't work, but they don't know the style of it.

Another problem is that it is too long. The key to making a fake movie trailer is to make it 2,3 or 4 minutes. Here, it lasts for 8 minutes.

RKSS do have a cameo in this film, but really they should've made the fourth movie. If there is ever going to be a fifth movie, they should do it.

Icons of Horror 2 (2016)

Why is Harley Quinn in this?

[2/10 · 13 December 2017]

Obviously it's really Trent's fan films where horror characters fight each other and edited together to make a plot. But every scene is fight scene, fight scene, fight scene and fight scene.

The acting is hokey. The guy playing Herbert West is out of character. West is supposed to be this weird, kooky anti-social character. but in this, he acts like a normal guy. Its like the actor hadn't seen Re-Animator.

Dr Lecter also sucks. He looks and sounds nothing like Sir Hopkins and he just says the exact same lines from Silence of the Lambs.

Darkman is also a waste. He's a bad guy? And what can he do again? Oh yeah, DISGUISE HIMSELF INTO OTHER PEOPLE.

And the Creeper only appears at the start of the film and never appears again

And yes, why is Harley Quinn in this? She is not even a horror character. "Icons of Horror" INDEED! She doesn't even have a Brooklyn accent.

Yes, The Punisher is in this, for some reason. Cobra Commander was in the last film and Umbrella joining forces with Cobra is not a bad idea.

I will give this a 2, because the concept is interesting. It's just a shame that it's not done 100%.