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The Swarm (2020)
2/10
ridiculous
13 August 2021
Ridiculous story line. Idiotic.

Slow.. boring.

More holes in the plot than swish cheese.
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7/10
Nice little indie film
22 May 2021
Acting was so..so...but cool story. Very entertaining. Definitely could do with a follow up.
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2/10
An abomination of unlikeable characters.
29 October 2020
This show lacks everything that made TWD worthwhile.
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Paradise Z (2020)
2/10
If you have no taste in women or movies.. this one is for you
30 January 2020
I gave it a 2 because of the great camera work.

Everything else is horrid. 95% of the movie is watching an uninteresting Lesbian couple walk around what looks like an abandoned resort , occasionally showing some skin.

No this is not Zombie Strippers, this is a wanna be romance with mediocre looking women, and ridiculous action scenes.

Just bad... just so ... so.. sad.
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Pig Pen (2015)
7/10
Well done overall.
23 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Pig Pen.... Oh man.. Where to start with this one. Well done overall. Entertaining, if that is one would consider entertaining. I'd prefer to say, captivating. Enter... a semi retarded kid, with a poor excuse for a human stain of a mother. Add in some other hopeful characters that at least exemplify some level of human decency. And mix in a sadistic boyfriend that is just what the mother asked for, and you get "Pig Pen". Not a feel good movie. There is an eventual revenge ending. Overall, I'd say realistic. My wife found it very disturbing. I found it hard to sympathize with the characters. As a movie buff whohas seen several thousand movies, I just have to call this one out for what it is, a disturbing, captivating, realistic portrayal of certain segments of society. For whatever low budget they had, they knocked it out of the park.
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5/10
Stupid millennials 101
21 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Enter...stage right... Stupid millennials 101. No seriously, even including that whole crackling voice bit.

10 years have gone by, and John is living with grandma from desperate house wives. He is no longer immortal, nor able to heal as well as before.

His old colleague is living with a different sort of pig. Broken after attempting to out John with a "factual" account of what everyone thinks is a sci-fi story, "The longest night", about a 15,000 year old man. Needless to say, that career is ruined.

But hey, the millennial B&E crew find the book. From there on it becomes a serious of immoral, soulless, illegal, violent, and asinine steps taken by these nimrods. Add in religious zealotry....this turns into a cluster of epic proportions.

Themes... broken people trying to bring others down?

Just... yeah.. missing everything that made the first movie great.
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1/10
Did they even interview a man????
6 October 2017
Factual or even relevant content is replaced with piano music and hyperbole mixed with contrived nonsense from people who know nothing of the male experience. There are so many factors in modern society affecting men. The ridiculous attack on masculinity mixed in with, well very mixed expectations of men, constant accusations and assumptions that every man is either a rapist, child molester, soon to be violent offender, ... the lack of any support or even respect for single fathers. The 9:1 ratio of men to women in prison and bias there... this documentary fails on every level starting with integrity and ending with any relevant content.
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1/10
Laughing while watching the trailers.
25 January 2017
I'm a 20 year veteran of the tech industry with 17 years in as a game programmer.

I'm sitting around this computer, laughing at these trailers with my team.

First off, there is no American born individuals on my team. Lack of diversity? We have every color and culture. And I can't say it was any different at most of my jobs. A majority of my applicants speak English as a second language.

As far as women, most engineers admit a bias towards hiring them just to get some gender diversity in here. But the bottom line is women never even enter the comp-sci courses. You don't need to see a documentary for that. Just attend a 1st year comp-sci course.

Bottom line... lack of diversity is just a ridiculous lie. Lack of women in software dev, is a lack of interest on their part.. before they even experience the field. Period. Quit putting a fake spin on this.
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3/10
Oh me, oh my… There is not a single redeemable character in this movie.
11 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Oh me, oh my… This movie is a mixed bag of some great indie work, ruined by some ridiculous fight sequences, and just pathetic protagonists. It goes from predictable, formulaic, to just ridiculous. We laughed through the last 20 minutes.

Spoiler alert. There is not a single redeemable character in this movie.

Yes Pastor Oblivious, someone is trying to kill your wife. Yes, the Norman Bates looking guy isn't just following her to give her a message. How would that make any sense? Doesn't he have a voice? "Excuse me kind lady, I will follow you silently into the women's room to show my strong Christian values". No, loving husband, you don't leave a wife who almost died to go on some retreat. Doing so makes you an a-hole. Nora, the pastor's wife, the only morally respectable character with a spine, melts into jelly as soon as things heat up. In a life and death situation, you don't just sit there, but take risks... or at least pretend to have a pulse. If you want to watch a movie, where the protagonist sits on her hands while grandma pushes her around or b-slaps a guy twice her size, then this is your movie. If you want anything remotely sensible, this is not. Absolutely ridiculous plot.
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Blood Curse (2006)
5/10
Great movie that dies a more horrible death
1 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I'm giving this a 5 because most of the movie was excellent. The acting, story, all of it were great. Then it seemed like the film crew ran out of money (if they were filming chronologically) and we get the most asinine slapped together ending. I think the movie tries to jump on too many themes, starting up too many side plots. We have a young mother who's child's father is ??? We have someone who can see who will die, but it only partially plays out. I'll spare you the spoilers and just say, too much ambition left them drowning at the end. OR... they made it up as they went along and couldn't agree on an end. Before investing the time into this one, watch the last 10 minutes. You won't ruin anything, and will probably lose interest in watching what led up to the end.
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6/10
I just watched this back to back with "pitch perfect".
17 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I just watched this back to back with "pitch perfect". Sorry, just had to start with that. The two movies couldn't be more opposites. But I watch so many movies, that I just end up seeing everything. With that in mind, I do grab a lot of indie films. The horror Indies are more often than not, quite awful, with bad acting, ridiculous effects, and disjointed plots. "I didn't come to die" didn't come to suck. It had none of those shortcomings of indie horror. They focused on what they could do within that budget, the story they wanted and did it very well. No horribly fake half-done CG, just some gore, just enough, to tell the story. I enjoyed the characters in the film. They seemed much more "real" , complex , and unpredictable then in most of these films. Just like every other movie, this one has been done before. The camping in the cursed we go nuts area. So I have a measuring stick to compare. And this one did quite well.
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Night Wolf (2010)
2/10
I second the good the bad and the ugly
26 April 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I think the integrity of IMDb has gone to sh_t because of fake posts, fake ratings by those involved in the film.

I rented this one, seeing a >8/10 review from some 25 people. I can't say it was anything but a waste of money. I'm a huge horror film fan, and watch anything that comes out and doesn't get abysmal ratings on here. I had to watch this one in fast forward. The initial dialog, and characters were interesting. Acting seemed fine. Once the creature and killings enter in, we are left with incoherent camera flashes, and a claustrophobic mess. When we finally see the creature, we understand why they decided to hide it till the end. The quality of the creature effects definitely are the bad. The story the ugly.. and the acting, and characters... the good.

The film had a lot of things done very well. Others very badly.
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The Hag (2011)
1/10
horrible beyond measure
22 March 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I rented this on amazon video for $2. I think amazon video is like the new android app store, just non stop crap. It was a cool idea for a movie, the old hag myth. But the acting couldn't be worse if they used senile refugees from a retirement home. The ending is utter nonsense. And everything you think they may do with this... they just don't. Horrible in every way. The acting of the girlfriend, the break up over the phone, the dialog is mind-boggling. don't do it don't do it. no seriously do not pay for this movie! The only thing I see this movie good as, is for a good laugh, sitting around with the boys, and just laughing at the acting. It makes porn look like Oscar worthy material.
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Scared the [ ] out of me... this guy is writing the hobbit!?!!?
4 January 2012
Scared the [ ] out of me... this idiot is writing the hobbit!?!!? Just saw "don't be afraid of the dark" written by Guillermo del Toro. Scared the [ ] out of me... seriously. Scared the [ ]out of me that Guilermo, an absolute imbecile that could write such a steaming pile of garbage would a) be given the budget and talent to waste on producing his crud and worse... b) THIS bleep bleep bleep WROTE THE SCRIPT TO THE HOBBIT MOVIES...

I give this movie a 5/10. 5 points for the special effects, art direction, camera work, acting. Well 5/5 points. The other 5 points the script gets a 0/5. Damn, I'd be poed to be working on this project and produce such good work, only to be destroyed by the ridiculous story.

The story is a swish cheese slice of ridiculous plot holes and retarded character decisions. Check the other reviews for details, I'll spare you and just say, to make this work, and save it, would require minor edits to the script that somehow just didn't make it in. Like.. make an accident look like an accident and not a scene from Hostel.
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2/10
Failure as a documentary
17 February 2011
Wow I barely sat through this stinker. A very skewed "selective" view of an education system that by far did not represent the average student. None of the real issues surrounding inner city schools were addressed. And once again teachers were made to be skape-goats. The same material was regurgitated at nauseam without any real insight. This documentary failed to bring much to light, and succeeded to repeat fringe conditions shown as the supposed norm.

In university classes, most professors suck as teachers. They are lectures you attend to find out what will be on the test. Not because of some huge teaching ability shown by our instructors. They are there due to their research ability more often than teaching ability. Hell half of them barely spoke English in the math courses. "Substraction" one Russian prof would say. We learned on our own because we wanted to succeed.

Yet we seem to learn to be doctors, and lawyers. Elementary schools, however are different. Different in the sense that kids are forced to go, not because they want to go. Different in that they have become more babysitting services then classrooms, where all manner of problems from the home turn what should be a place of learning into a day care. Inner city kids are NOT what was portrayed in this ridiculous video. Those portrayed are the select few that educators wish where the majority.
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Salt (2010)
6/10
Great movie for 12 year olds.
24 July 2010
Warning: Spoilers
SALT: just saw it. Prepare to drop your IQ down to toad level... go be entertained. Don't think. This is made for the general public. Ignore the 90 pound woman who knocks trained CIA agents out for hours with a glancing blow. Ignore the absolutely asinine and ridiculous plot. SALT is the new Rambo..she just doesn't need the muscles, nor a team. She is a one woman army, and this one has PMS! In a normal plan, the idea is to minimize risk, to have back up plans, and fool proofs. In this movie, plans are made to require 1 in a million chance action sequences.

Absolutely ridiculous plot, most likely written by someones grade 3 son.
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Not Forgotten (2009)
4/10
Rated "R" for... retarded.
28 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I'd say about 80% of the way into the movie my girlfriend and I were loving it. I'd give it a 9/10... everything, the acting, the scenery, story everything was compelling.

Then we are hit with ridiculous implausible twist after twist, leaving us not caring an ounce about anything or anyone. The premise.. the father with the dark past was great. Even the true history of his ex wife. Past that point, the story, along with the movie goes straight to the toilet bowl, leaving us hating the Jackass who wrote it for stringing us along.

Sometimes with these ridiculous revenge plots, we just lose belief.
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9/10
Review it for what it is.
30 May 2010
Warning: Spoilers
When I review a movie I do so and rate it for what the movie is intended to be, regardless of my own bias towards a genre or style. This movie, plain and simple, was extremely well executed. The characters, acting, script, was top notch. The good doctor, will forever be a horror movie icon.

What was missing... "medically accurate" is just plain false advertisement. I'll skip out all the medical details, but they could have done into a little more detail to make things more believable, and fill in some plot holes. .. how did they get onto and off the lawn without ripping every suture? They didn't do so well just going up the stairs at the end. And something that just kept bothering me, kept making the film look fake was the wrong angle / position for the actors mouth to anus attachment. Looked more like mouth to above tailbone. A little more time could have been spent explaining things, and making it more plausible. How exactly does the girl swallow the mans feces without vomiting, out her nose, and into her lungs drowning herself? The "lets wound but not kill the villain scene" was a bad bad oh so bad cliché that did ruin things.

The ending was however excellent.
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Religulous (2008)
4/10
Disappointing.
16 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I saw it, I agree with him 100%, but I didn't care for his delivery. He just came off as an asshole in a poorly edited, contrived juvenile smear campaign. Edit cuts galore, etc... The camera would be focused on him, and you'd see 2 or 3 edit cuts just over the course of a minute or two of dialog. Add in the constant boom mikes in the camera shot, which is a film no-no.

This documentary hits a topic with so many angles, so many interesting stories, that the movie is just so easily done. Picking on religious fanatics is like picking on the retarded kid. It is so easy it is just wrong. I mean how hard is it to make these people look like nut bags? To make them contradict themselves, you just let them recite more then a verse or two. I do like when he jumped back in forth between people of the same religion and showed them completely contradicting themselves.

I just think he could have done something a little more creative. The part with the neurologist talking about brain activity was never fleshed out. It could have been interesting to show brain scans of people during religious fits compared to drugs, or sex, or ???? He could have played more on the women all rejoicing over the Passion play that looked more like a snuff scene in a new Rob Zombie movie. More could have gone into the history of John Smith, the Mormon founder who had quite the colorful past. Delve into science v.s. religion. One is a very methodical, very strict process for increasing the confidence in theories. It builds on itself from a solid bottom up, a new layer on top of a more proved layer. An enormous burden of proof is required each step of the way. The other starts at the top and comes down with unchallengeable claims. It is so, because well… I said so.

Done right… I'd say turn it into an HBO original series… hit a different religion every week.

It was an eye opener about one thing. I must have been blind. Good ole G.W.Bush... no wonder he got elected. He had the religious majority. And well... now that is the blind leading the blind.

Bill Moyer.. Well.. what can I expect from a guy who hands out at Sutra in Newport beach?
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Doom House (2005 Video)
1/10
Uhm...... this is to horror movies what blair witch was ...
13 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Uhm...... this is to horror movies what blair witch was to credible journalism.

I don't mind these guys taking a camera and goofing off... bringing copies around the office, but when you go to this extreme to b.s. people into watching your day off with a video camera... I just *hope* no one buys a copy of this.

Cool... they even put themselves on this website.

I miss the days when IMDb wasn't bastardized by this kind of b.s. But I guess integrity is as rare as talent. Compare this to a near zero budget indie film like "In the woods" by Sam Raimi.
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Wanted (2008)
5/10
Rated "R" for ridiculous... retarded....
27 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Basic storyline is a cliché... But good. Action scenes and all... pretty good.

But the details of the story, the lets teach someone to fight or be an assassin by beating him up, training with live metal, cars chases and car flips that could only be performed through calculations on a NASA supercomputer, adrenalin junkies jumping from skyscraper to skyscraper.... And everything is over dramatized, straight from the creative writing story of an 8 year old.

Rated "R" for ridiculous... retarded....

If you shut off all reasoning, and just go for the thrill ride, and seeing A.J. naked booty, it is worth it. You know, like a porno.... don't try to think or reason, just enjoy.
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My Winnipeg (2007)
1/10
so bad it hurts...
10 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
First, thank you to all the people who, gave this a great review. I'm sure you have a great relationship with the director. I'm sure you did him a great favor. However, the $7 I paid for watching this on PPV will never come back.

So here I am, a Winnipeg raised, U of W educated California transplant, hoping to watch a funny movie, or even mildly entertaining movie about Winnipeg. I am sooooooo…. Disappointed.

Why?!?!? Some movies are stylish or eclectic for artistic reasons. "300", Cashern, "Island of lost children", "Sin City" are good mainstream examples. Show a story from a different perspective. This move was simply "odd" for the sake of being odd. It had no entertainment value. I just kept asking myself..why??? what is the point of this scene!?!? Guy, come on… at least write something witty for us. Winnipeg is an entire city with plenty of things to poke fun at. The Simpsons did a better job of poking fun at Winnipeg then you.
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10/10
It is about time
9 June 2008
My background is such that I've met some of the people in this film, and have substantial experience with the world of bodybuilding. My academic background is in the sciences, and this is a topic I have researched to death.

This film takes an honest view at steroids, and more importantly at the attitudes that push people towards altering "what god gave them". If anything it should make people realize the problem isn't a single class of drugs that has been sensationalized, but a growing problem of body dimorphism. It is self worth, and self-esteem in a bottle. And there is nothing "biased towards steroids" about that message. If anything it is simply one of several performance enhancement methods he demonstrates.

I know to many the movie seems biased. But to anyone who has done the research, it isn't so much this movie is biased as the media depiction of these drugs is as ridiculous as the media's depiction of marijuana in "Reefer Madness". People are so bombarded with misinformation about drugs in general in America, that when they are shown something honest, it rocks their point of reference and they feel it is biased.

What this documentary is, is eye opening, honest, and very complete in it's presentation. More so then any other documentary I've seen on the topic.
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6/10
A complete Cliché, and an entertaining one at that
28 March 2007
Great camera work. Great set work. Great acting. The story is every cliché from the hard starting engine, the kooky locals, the 4 teenagers in the car hearing a noise outside, on up. But I think if we are honest with ourselves... it is what we want from a horror movie. The cliché haunted house.... the dark woods.

But the zombie kids... they are about as creepy as a bunch of french mimes. Ignore the fact that they look like school children in their Sunday best and not mine digging zombies, enjoy the atmosphere, watch it in the dark, and it is definitely worthwhile.

But don't look for any originality here. I mean none.
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Severed (2005)
6/10
Major plot problems, but otherwise a very good film.
23 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Compared to the absolute garbage DTV horror films at Blockbuster, this is a masterpiece. But, compared to Hollywood theatrical releases it is mediocre.

I'll take mediocre. Not much around as far as good horror, other then Asian films.

The good: The acting, the scene work, the script, directing, well to be honest, they are quit good.

The bad: Plot holes, and well honestly the zombies. The zombies? Yes. Ridiculous and campy. Night of the living dead was down right creepy. Slow, unfeeling walking dead. These are more like insert infection, my face changes color and I walk like I'm on a tight rope.

The many many plot holes: - Loggers, chainsaws everywhere. Guess what, other then dispatching a downed zombie, these awesome weapons are never used. They needed Bruce Campbell. - Infection spreading. Throughout the movie the heroes are doused in blood. But no one gets infected. The only infections are caused by exposure to the red sap, or bites. Ridiculous. - The group are a disorganized cluster. Given how easily they dispatch these zombies, if they were organized, or half as organized as the other loggers, they could have been on a hunting trip, not a survival mission. - The "others". The other loggers who have little to no fear of the zombies, and take sport in shooting them. Why didn't they just go out and clear the forest, with their weapons? - The helicopter snipers. WTF??? They would have themselves dispatched anything moving.

Turn your brain off, and just enjoy some mindless entertainment.
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