clk264-649-716463 Reviews

The Boneyard (1991)

Wonderfully entertaining

[8/10 · 21 November 2023]

You have an obese female psychic, Alley (played very well by Deborah Rose) who's reminiscent of a Clint Eastwood/Danny Glover trope; a "you ain't gonna believe this" cop, Jersey Callum (played perfectly by Ed Nelson) and Phyllis Diller as Miss Poopinplantz, the old woman who works at the morgue and tired of big hospitals chasing away cadavers.

A bunch of kids have been killed in a heinous act, but Alley is getting visions they're coming back to life to feast on the flesh of the living.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS?

Crazy puppets, gore bloodbaths, quick talking characters that shoot out lines that are bother funny and poignant. Yeah, OK, so the movie has been done before, but this was true entertainment to stumble upon.

If you loved "Dead Alive," "Evil Dead" or just like to have fun with your movies, this one is for you.

V/H/S/85 (2023)

If you've seen the other ones then you know what to expect.

[6/10 · 8 October 2023]

After the massive failure of "Viral" where was the "V/H/S" saga going to go? "99" and "94" was pushing towards a certain direction of the 90's that didn't exist, and seemed to be more politically motivated then horror driven ("Scare Package 2" comes to mind). So, it's been another year and it seems Shudder is gonna make Halloween "V/H/S" season for as long as nostalgia lasts. I, for one, am happy about it, but, let's be realistic here; each movie is like the last few years of SNL: One good bit per episode.

The latest entry is fine and you'll get your horror fun filled. My main issue is the lack of care and motivation that was in the previous entries. Yeah, "Viral" was bad, but "Parallel Monsters" was so well put together and driven by fun it was hard to not like it.

With each entry, it feels like the care and appreciation of the previous installments gets less and less until finally they just plop a camera down and call it a day.

"85" was fun, there's one really solid segment and two that work well, but then the rest feel slapped together and not heart. Also, I get it's 1985, but showcase those special effects!

The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

Surprisingly very enjoyable.

[7/10 · 4 October 2023]

You'll never out-exorcise "The Exorcist", as much as fans and average theater patrons might want to. "Believer" does neither and I thank David Gordon Green for that.

We all know the abomination as "Halloween Kills" and "Ends" (although I enjoyed "Ends") and we were all expecting that when it was announced that Blumhouse was going to be making an "Exorcist" trilogy. However, DGG put together a well written and executed story that leads up to a pretty good ending and sets us up for the sequels.

I could go on and on about script issues and how everyone pulls it together at the end to "defeat" evil, but what's the point in that!? See the flick! I guarantee you'll have fun!

Telemarketers (2023)

Watch it till the end so you know how it ends.

[5/10 · 29 August 2023]

"Telemarketers" starts out really strong about a young man, (Sam Lipman-Stern) with a troubled lifestyle who finds solace in a telemarketing company, Civic Development Group (CDG).

The company mainly employs people who have been in and out of jail, drug addicts, and people that can't get jobs anywhere else. They are raising money for the police, so everything sounds pretty unusual, but, heartwarming.

However. After doing some light, digging, we discover that zero amount of the money being raised is actually going to the police department. Which, unravels a series of events, peeling back the onion of this corrupt company pocketing money from lying to little old ladies to fuel the higher ups lifestyle. So the Director grabs his drug addled former coworker (Patrick Pespas, who starts out as likable and then gets annoying. The doc leads you to believe he is dead, but viola!), who raised a lot of money for this organization, to go on a manhunt across the country, to expose the truth. Think of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" meets "Roger & Me."

Did you lose interest? Because I sure did about halfway through the second episode. At that point I realized (after and interviewee lights a joint) we were watching the ramblings of folks who, likely inebriated, felt bad about what they had done in their younger lives and this documentary is redemption.

We are left with no conclusion, and, Pespas feels better about himself, the doc ends.

Personally, I say to watch it to the end that way you actually know that there is no conclusion and it just ends.

12 Kilometers (2016)

Love it!

[9/10 · 28 July 2023]

"12KM" is a solid thriller that leaves a lot to the viewer and not a lot is explained. But, that is the charm of this wonderfully shot and sound mixed thriller (or is it a dark drama?).

I don't know if it's possible to spoil this movie, because that would imply I understood it: which I didn't.

To say that you understood "12 km," I think, defeats the purpose of the movie. I believe it is the filmmaker's decision to leave the movie open minded that it is to be interpreted by the viewer. That's what they believe they just witnessed.

Don't get me wrong: it's not a gimmick, it is a very good movie. I just really have no idea how to review a movie like this. I am very much interested in knowing what the meaning behind everything was, or if there is a feature length version of this that will be made.

Kudos , Mike Pecci!

Talk to Me (I) (2022)

A24 finally makes an average movie.

[5/10 · 20 July 2023]

I just got out of a pre-screening event for "Talk to Me," and a lady who said she was a rep for the studios and was taking notes to send to the studios and the directors ( Danny Philippou, Michael Philippou ). I was asked my thoughts and I'll share my thoughts as I said them to her: I am happy this isn't pretentious and that the average movie-goer will like it.

Needless to say, she wasn't thrilled with my response and went to another person.

A24 has built a brand for themselves over the years as being snooty, know-more-than-you and movies that are either too artsy for horror fans or too horror for artsy fans. Personally, I love their brand and welcome all their movies with open arms.

"Talk to Me," is neither scary nor artsy. It's about as far out there as a "Nightmare on Elm st." sequel and hits all the marks: Just enough blood and make up to satisfy the horror hounds and has a likeable story line so everyone can watch this movie and not feel insulted.

Mia, played by a phoning-it-in Sophie Wilde, just lost her mother and she spends her time with her best friends family: Jade (Alexandra Jensen); her brother, Riley (Joe Bird) and mom, Sue (Miranda Otto).

Hayley (Zoe Terakes) and their friend Joss (Chris Alosio) throw parties where guests shake hands with a supposed real hand of a medium or satanist (both ideas are pitched, but who cares) say "Talk to Me" and viola! You got spirits!

Do we really care about the rest of the plot? Not really. And, that's the problem: There really isn't much more of a plot. There is a side story about Mia's dead mother using the hand in order to speak with Mia and Riley, becoming severely injured, but, none of it's really entertaining.

Are the spirits lying to Mia in order to get a sacrifice to come to our world? Are the spirits using Mia to do their evil bidding? Yes and no, but: you don't care.

A24 served up a bland, no brains horror flick with nice blood and was a step outside their realm. There's no cool shots, there's not a lot to think about but there is a lot of music and score, which was different.

Go into "Talk to Me" expecting nothing and you'll walk out happy.

Renfield (2023)

Nic Cage is fantastic in a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be.

[4/10 · 12 April 2023]

Are we an action flick? Are we a comedy? Are we a horror? Are we John Wick with Dracula? Are we a romantic thriller?

"Renfield," starring Nicholas Hoult as the titular role starts off much like a great comedy about Renfield going to classes to work on his self esteem to break free of his "abusive relationship" with his boss, Dracula (played awesomely by the wonderful Cage).

Many years ago, Dracula was severely burned by the sun in a fight to the death and Renfield (being his servant) must bring him victims, so he uses these classes as a way to lure "pure" people to Dracula's lair (which is an old abandoned hospital) so Dracula can feed on them and get better.

Love the idea, hate the direction.

Renfield gets confidence from meeting a police woman, Rebecca Quincy (played like a hunched over Robert De Niro when he was de aged in "The Irishman", Awkwafina) who has been trying to take down the Lobo crime family who murdered her well respected police officer father years ago. Awkwafina plays Rebecca as if she doesn't want to be there and is being forced to act.

Does this story go anywhere? Do we care? I didn't. And I felt like I wasn't alone in a packed prescreening event.

Amazing bloodbath fight sequences will keep you entertained, but overall, the story and love interests don't seem to care or want to go on. The movie ends a lot like you would imagine and you'll love the violence, a la "John Wick," just don't wanna stick around for the rest of it.

Devil Story (1986)

Nightmare wrapped around a horror film and huh?

[6/10 · 27 March 2023]

I'm not sure where to begin this, because there really isn't much of a plot. What do do have is one bonkers and confusing blood soaked ride! Here we go:

A woman is terrorized by a demented woman, her zombie nazi, his possessed horse, their mummy and the mummy's lover who is likely a vampire (although there's no hard evidence on the vampire part, just my observation ).

The lady goes on vacation and wanders the idyllic countryside and BAM! She meets all the characters in a drawn out terrorizing fashion.

There is piles of gore and violence with all the madness happening. The horse kicks the zombie in the head, blood flying; people are shot and attacked, zombie hit by car, vomits blood, windshield wipers go and a bunch of other stuff.

I don't mind the zany, so as long as you don't either, this is for you.

My only issue is lack of story and purpose. What makes movies like "Evil Dead" work is the base story makes sense, just everything else doesn't.

A lot of fun, just don't set your sights high.

Cam (2018)

Great idea, then ... huh?

[4/10 · 18 March 2023]

"Cam" centers on sex worker, "Lola" (real name Alice) played really well by Madeline Brewer. She's trying to break the top 50 cam girl spot, but isn't big on nudity (or so we're led to believe), and doesn't tell her clients she loves them. Her business is doing fine and although her mother doesn't know what she does for a living, she approves of the money.

Somehow, Lola's embodiment is taken from her. There is a new person who goes by the same name that does similar videos to her and it becomes extremely popular. The new Lola also goes full nude, does interactive shows with other cam girls, and breaks the top 10 immediately.

So ... what is this new Lola? We think that is just replayed videos, but, we find that when Alice interacts with Lola during one of her "live" videos that this Lola is a real person.

After doing some investigating, Alice discovers that the other top 10 cam girls, are all dead in real life and they are somehow doing videos and live shows with each other.

Now, this just got interesting.

Are they ghosts? Are the Cam girls demons? Are they angels?

Well ... we don't really know. But, the one thing they have in common is their top contributor is named Tinker (Patch Darrah) who has an unhealthy obsession with all the cam girls, so much so that he gets a motel room in the same city that Alce lives in and follows her.

Alice eventually confronts Tinker at his motel, and it turns out that he might be religious, they don't really fully explain that, but, she is shocked to find Tinker pleasuring himself to a one on one with new Lola.

Alice comes up with a (heavy sarcasm) brilliant plan to get rid of new Lola and gets back to werk (purposely misspelled).

A lot like Hulu's "Nanny," "Cam" has a great premise and steers in a great direction, then the whole thing flies off a cliff in a burst of fire.

After Midnight (2019)

More dialogue than the creature has teeth

[7/10 · 17 March 2023]

After reading reviews, I feel that most folks either weren't paying attention or were drinking along with the characters in this film.

"After Midnight" (which immediately made me think of the Eric Clapton song) is a heavily dialogue-written story that is split into two: one from the beginning, and the other from 3/4 of the way through the end of the movie, both being played simultaneously, until both stories meet at a dinner.

Hank (Jeremy Gardner, who is becoming the king of good acting in the indie horror world), and Abby (Brea Grant) moving to Hanks family's old house in the middle of nowhere. It's ideal for Hank because he's an outdoorsman, who likes to hunt, fish, camp, and drink beer. He also owns a local bar which is giving them enough money to get by just fine.

Abby is more of a city girl who loves her man, but at the same time, like most people, you can only put up with so much until enough is enough. There's a key moment about halfway through the movie where Hank and Abby are sitting at the front porch, because, Hank is convinced there is a monster in the woods that's attacking their house and they are talking about their future. She says "remember where we were 10 years ago today?" And, they were sitting on that same exact front porch, while Hank was drinking a beer, and Abby was drinking wine talking about their future.

As the insanity of this goes on, Abby leaves, Hank and Hank further goes into madness. So far that he's chasing people off his property (it's not said, but most likely debt collectors or those trying to view the supposed monster) and he desperately tries to convince people that there is, in fact, a monster that is attacking his house in the middle of the night.

His drinking buddy, Wade (Henry Zebrowski) doesn't really offer much help because he either doesn't care or thinks that Hank is an idiot.

The local police officer, Shane (played very straight by Justin Benson) confront Hank tell him that he can't do things like that regardless, if it is his property.

The attacks continue, and we get a glimpse of the creature in a very "DOOM" video game way. It's at this point, I believe that the general audience either is on board or is against this movie. Because, up until this point, we don't know if the creature is symbolic or not, and we find out that it is in fact, a real creature.

More madness and more storytelling about the history of Abby and Hank go on up until a dinner involving their friends, Weld talk about the good times until Shane brings up the monster and tries to point out the insanity of everything. There are no such things as creatures and it's clear that Hank is losing grip on reality.

Hank decides to do a karaoke of Lisa Loeb's "Stay." It's a very sweet and touching moment. Will Abby come back to Hank? Will they get rid of the house in the bar and move back to the city like Abby wants to or will Abby come back to live with Hank? It's not ideal, but, at least they'll still be with each other.

Then the monster attacks.

"After midnight," is a very solid follow up to "The Battery," Which was an excellent exercise in ultra low budget filmmaking. Gardner is on a good track, which well only last for so long. He's got 10 years in low budget horror filmmaking, and, I think that this is one of the last ones that he should make, and really try to up the ante. He's got a great look, and obviously knows how to write and direct a movie.

Lucky Bastard (2014)

Rock hard cast and crew ends in blue

[6/10 · 7 March 2023]

This was a found footage movie that I stumbled across while looking for something to watch on Amazon prime.

An adult film Producer (solid acting by Don McManus as Mike) has a website in which fans have the chance to have make a movie with an adult film star. Shocker, the "lucky" one who is picked, by the wonderfully demented acting of Jay Paulson as Dave, a war torn veteran who's brother died of cancer, is not mentally stable. It's obvious from the get go that something's not right about Dave, but the show must go on.

That's about the gist of this many layered story that has a minimal payoff that I actually enjoyed.

The adult film star, played by Betsy Rue as Ashley Saint, is a hard working (no pun intended) single mom who is using her good looks to obtain money while she can to afford a better life for her kids. Although she dreams of being a real actress, it seems she is slowly realizing that dream is fading.

Don McManus Playing the producer does a great job of showing that it's just as business and, deep down inside they are all just a regular family. There's many great lines of dialogue that he says which represents the fact that they're not out there trying to destroy culture. They're just trying to make money. There's no difference between what they do and any other type of business, except for almost everyone uses their type of business, but no one wants to admit to it.

Catherine Annette as Casey, who is just starting out but it seems like she's not really interested in doing it anymore, wants to branch out into other options. She offers to do the B roll for one of the shoots which, doesn't seem to bother anybody at first, but slowly it does bother Mike and, he takes the camera away from her. We also find out that she has other talents, other than these films, which adds layers to her character.

Lanny Joon as Nico, One of the camera guys, is representing film production in general. To him, it's another day at the office, and, although that some people see him as being heavily involved, you have to understand, like he says "you know I have nothing to do with this" after Dave becomes extremely embarrassed, and is thrown off of the set. The movie within the movie must go on, so Mike has to do some fast thinking and then Dave returns to kill everyone and steal the tapes so he doesn't t feel embarrassed? Or that was Dave's plan all along? It's not really clear.

I was really intrigued by the character of Josh, played by Lee Kholafai. We are introduced to him in the beginning of the movie while he and his buddy are making a graphic video starring Casey and later Ashley. Josh, is the young Star, who, really isn't interested in continuing the business but, doesn't seem to have any other talents. When he is brought in to finish the video that Dave couldn't, he explains the situation to Dave in a way that makes you feel really sympathetic towards those who are caught in that cycle. The money is OK, and to be fair, they're all a close knit group of people who care about one another. But, can they have a real relationship? Will they be able to get married and settle down with someone who understands? It is their choice, but for how long?

Im a lifelong fan of Jim Wynorski and it made me happy to see his name attached. But, don't expect a "Chopping Mall" like slasher, this is more of a found footage thriller that'll lure you in with a great opener, work you up nice and send you on your way without a happy ending.

Creed III (2023)

Not bad, just don't expect a lot

[5/10 · 1 March 2023]

We have part 3 in a spin-off franchise that recycles characters from the original source material. What happens when you use none of the original characters and go rogue ?

You get a bland story that is more predictable than the ending of "Creed II".

Now, don't get me wrong: I really enjoyed the film and thought it was a solid OK. It is part 3, after all.

Adonis' (MBJ) past has caught up to him in the shape of Damian (Jonathan Majors). Turns out (as we knew) Adonis was a hoodlum and used to hang with the wrong crowd. Damian was an up and coming boxer who went to jail (reason really isn't worth noting) for 18 years, and now he's back to claim everything he believes was "stolen" from him by Adonis.

Not a bad idea, yeah?

The issue is that it's tiring and predictable. We're aware Adonis will have to square off to Damian, and we all know how it's going to end and there's gonna be a training montage a lot of smack talking ... but, no Rocky.

Although I didn't miss seeing Rocky, rubbing him away from the franchise is a negative move and having him in Adonis' corner would have made the movie feel complete.

See it if you're a casual movie goer.

Smile (V) (2022)

"It Follows" meets "The Babadook" with all smiles

[8/10 · 28 February 2023]

So, what we have here is a movie about a woman who is descending into madness.

"Smile" centers on Dr. Rose Cotter (Sosie Bacon) who witness is one of her patients who she had just met 10 minutes prior committing suicide while smiling. This then throws her into said world of is this real, am I being haunted, who can I trust.

The way that she is descended into madness is that there is a unknown entity that latches onto its victims, causing them to kill themselves in front of other people, and then the entity latches itself onto the person who has Witnessed this suicide. The whole time that they do this suicide they are smiling. While they are being stalked and terrorized by this evil entity, they are approached by smiling people which are not actually real.

Sounds pretty bland, but, it's very entertaining and, although I felt that the gags were getting a little bit old. For instance, you're not quite sure if what what is really helpful and what isn't. I understand. That is the intention of the directors, but, whenever it's literally everything that's involved in the movie, it does get a little tiresome.

There were some fantastic gags, and, all the acting was superb. Personally, I felt at the movie was a little bit too long for what it was supposed to deliver, but, it was a very enjoyable movie, and, it was very grounded and it's on reality.

Cocaine Bear (2023)

"Superbad" meets "Without a Paddle"

[8/10 · 24 February 2023]

I saw this at a pre screening event and man am I happy I did!

"Cocaine Bear" delivers everything that you wanted it to be: a ridiculous plot, over-the-top violence and just a fun time at the movies without being slapped around with political and social agendas.

Elizabeth Banks learned her lesson from a few years ago when she did "Charlie's Angels", and went down a path of pure fun.

"Bear" starts out in the mid-1980s, with a character throwing bags of cocaine over the mountains in Georgia, and Tennessee. While jumping out of the plane, he smacks his head and immediately crash lands into somebody's driveway. What happened to all the bags of cocaine? Well, a bear got them.

And this is where the fun starts.

The ultra violent and hilarious look at what could have happen (we know that the bear in real life died in a few hours, and likely didn't kill anyone), makes this movie a great date night, or if you just want to get away from life for a few hours.

The jokes are all deadpan, very reminiscent of the "Knocked Up" and "Superbad" era from the mid 2000's, and they work oh so well.

Do yourself a favor and watch this movie with a crowded theater, or, with your friends. You're definitely gonna wanna watch this with a group of people!

Sick (2022)

90s slasher with covid as the main story

[9/10 · 22 January 2023]

There's been a few horror films post Covid that address the insanity of the time. To be fair: no one got it right and in the future we will get movies mocking these times and this one got it right, with a slasher twist.

Covid shuts down the college our heroes Parker (played perfectly by Gideon Adlon) and Miri (Beth Million). Parker is more of a free spirit, and thinks that COVID-19 really isn't that serious (she yells "take a shot!" After cnn announces "the science). Miri was definitely more uptight and demands that Parker puts on her mask whenever out in public ("because the virus can travel up to 8 feet.") and they go to Parker's family cabin to relax.

Only ... they aren't alone.

If you're a horror, fan, or, even have just casually watched a slasher film, you can probably guess where this is going. What makes this movie so enjoyable is that it is literally a slasher that gets to the basics. There's violence, sexual situations (although no sex or breasts), and a wonderful satire on how America handled covid.

This movie is for those who understand horror and slashers, but also know a Great satire when it's there.

The Menu (2022)

Midnight dark comedy that starts off well orchestrated, ends like garbage

[6/10 · 6 January 2023]

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

"The Menu" had all the ingredients to make a wonderful dark comedy about a chef, Julian Slowik (Ralph Fiennes) (a mild mannered Gordon Ramsey character) who prepares not just meals but entire back stories to his creations for those willing to pay the price. Each meal reveals a darker and darker story about the chef and those who work for him.

The cinematography mimics some of Wes Anderson's films, so everything feels familiar and quirky. The dialogue is pretty decent, for the most part and sounds realistic if you were in the situation.

Where the movie falls apart is at the beginning of the third act.

Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy), who is substituting for another date of Tyler (Nicholas Hoult), who is a massive fan of Julian's (so much so he kills himself because of Julian's disappointment in his meal), plays a foul mouth, cigarette smoking, junk food eating, prostitute who, as you would probably assume , outsmarts the antagonist In the most mundane way I nearly turned the film off after it happened.

Julian has decided to throw one of the last menu meals of his career. At the end of the delicacies that he was preparing for everyone, and, killing off all the people that have ties to his wonderful creations, he will kill everybody in the room, including himself, making everyone part of the desert.

Personally, I love this idea and, I was really interested in seeing where this went.

Where it went, was nowhere. Margot, outsmarts Julian in allowing her to leave the island because she sends back her food, orders a cheeseburger, pays for it, then gets the rest of it to go. Yes. That.

The most enjoyable part of this movie was John Leguizamo. He played a character that was an action star in the 80s and 90s and now is washed up and trying to impress women half his age. This dialogue and acting was hilarious and he should get recognized for it. Fiennes was also superb as the chef, in a very dark and humorous way. At first, you don't really understand what his motivations are, and, when you find out, it wonderfully pays off. Taylor-Joy and Hoult work really well together as well.

It's just that beginning of the third act where it starts to crumble and for me, that's where the film lost points.

"The Menu" is worth watching, just be prepared to be let down.

Deck the Heart (2021)

Oh, lighten up

[7/10 · 29 December 2022]

Yes, it's a Christmas movie filled with every cliché that you've ever heard of. Yes, it is horribly acted, and, the cinematography is all over the place. It's filled with B-roll that doesn't match the main story and it's obvious it was shot out of season.

What it does have is love.

I found "Deck the Heart" to be quite charming and fun while relaxing on the couch. The general story is pretty fun: in order for Chris Ackerman (Joe Kurak ) to receive his inheritance from his recently, deceased grandfather, will be loved and, his grandfather loves Christmas, Christmas must throw a wonderful Christmas party. To ensure this is done accurately, Chris's grandfather's best friend, who is a lawyer, will stop by to make sure that it's done perfect. However, he can't decorate!

In walks Meredith"Merry" Block (Ashley Brinkman, who frequently collaborates with writer/director Candice "Candy" Cain) to decorate!

Using old photos of grandfather's, previous Christmas decorations, she throws together a beautiful Christmas party that everybody approves of, especially the lawyer, and Chris gets his inheritance, and wins Merry's heart.

There are some trials and tribulations that go along the way, but, who cares? This is a very adorable and fun Christmas movie.

If any of this doesn't intrigue you then you're probably a Grinch who loves lumps of coal.

Scare Package II: Rad Chad's Revenge (2022)

Smashing the stereotype is the new stereotype

[3/10 · 24 December 2022]

The first "Scare Package" was a fun riff on horror films (most of them being good) for the horror nerds by horror nerds. "Part II" is ... somehow ... a cash grab (can't imagine much) pandering to how women are strong, independent, don't-need-a-man, ball kickers and men are alpha males who make the wrong decision every time or are fat goofy slobs.

Much like putting the "F" word in titles of movies, "Part II" sets you up for what to expect from it. It's slow, boring, lazy and badly written by people who either don't care about the genre or just were told to write a story in 30 pages or less without being proofread.

There's nothing wrong with a female lead (there's millions of films dedicated to this, there's entire sections of streaming apps to prove this), but it's becoming a negative trend when literally every movie is doing this and when a movie that is a series of vignettes does this.

There are some great gross out gags and some funny one liners, though.

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022)

Perfect for horror fans!

[8/10 · 13 November 2022]

If you are a fan of "tales from the crypt," and "Alfred Hitchcock presents" then you'll love this!

Every episode is introduced by Del Toro, Who comes walking out in a black suit, much like Hitchcock , gives a brief synopsis of what you're about to watch, and then the show begins.

They have their own creative spin, with each episode having it's very own feel and Director, giving it much of the "tales from the crypt," feel without making it feel uniformed. Some episodes are funny, some of them are more serious, some of them are gross, some of them take place in the present, some of them take place in the past. Well, you get the idea.

Personally, I think each episode is wonderful in its own way, however, I prefer the final two episodes, which are directed by Panos Cosmatos and Jennifer Kent (I find hers the best in the series).

For your average Netflix watcher, you'll probably grow very tired and bored after the first two episodes, but, for your horror fan, you'll love the whole series! Enjoy!

Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

It's amazing until it isn't.

[4/10 · 9 November 2022]

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

"Don't worry, darling," starts out as a very eerie, mid century could be thriller, science fiction, could be a rip off of "the Stepford wives," and as a viewer, you really have no idea where it's going to go. Personally, I thought it was a fantastic build up into a very unknown world where you're pretty sure it's going to be a lot like "The Village," but, it doesn't really move in that direction.

The cinematography is absolutely breathtaking. There's no doubt about that. The score is perfect, especially for the tension building, and the actors are wonderfully casted and deliver a blockbuster performance.

The storyline is that there is a perfect euphoria of a 1950s society. Where are the adults are in charge, and every man goes to work at 9 AM, comes home after 5 PM, their wives have dinner ready, meat-based, and their wives hand them a drink as soon as they come through the door. They have wonderful sex lives, and everyone appears to be happy.

This is led by Frank (Pines), Who has created this society to remove everybody from the evils of the world. The only catch is that they're not allowed to leave. Jack and Alice (Styles and Chambers) Are the center of the story. Jack seems to be doing really well at work, so much so that Frank is rumored to be promoting him to be the leader of something. We don't really know what these guys do for work but, we know that they leave and then come back. It's rumored that they are making weapons, but, no one really knows for sure.

Margaret, who is the wife of one of the men who they live in the perfect society, all of a sudden does not like how everything is and she is pretty sure she knows what's going on. There are rumors that what happened was that Margaret had taken her and her son to the outskirts, where the families are forbidden to go, and her son was taken away from her.

One day, while traveling on the bus, Alice notices a plane flying overhead, and it crashes in the mountains. She demands that the bus driver take her up there to help the people who just crashed, but the man refuses, because that is not on his route. So, she gets out, runs up there and discovered that there is no plane, and in fact, that is where the headquarters of where this whole society is based on is located. She finds out the deep, dark secret, or so, she thinks, and is immediately brought back to her house.

I'm fairly certain that the reader can tell where I'm getting at with this. So, I'll skip all the other crap, and, get right to the point: The movie falls Apart halfway through because we discover that this is the meta-verse and, Jack and Alice were living terrible lives before hand. Alice was working 30 hour work shifts, exhausted, and Jack, from what it looks like, did not have a job at all. So, he contacted this man through his podcast who talked about he was creating a online universe that people can pay for in order to live in wonderland.

When Alice figures this out, due to Jack, humming a song that he would sing to her in the real world, she flips out because it was "her choice" to live a miserable life. Yes, she actually says this.

Bunny (Wilde, also director), her best friend is very much aware of the fact that she's living in a fake universe, but she prefers it because her children are alive here. Although they are not real, she tragically lost them in the real world, and she prefers this. Alice, fed up with this life, kills her husband, which kills her husband in real life, which is explain to us, steals, his car, then drives off to go back to the real world. After this happens, Franks wife kills him and we assume that the women all kill their husbands, which, you know, would make them all murderers and would put them in prison in real life (not liberated, as this movie would leave you to believe).

The movie falls apart really quick because, you see that these people have miserable lives in the real world and, their husbands have decided to take it upon themselves to invest everything that they have to be put into this meta-verse so that they can live in harmony (a la "The Matrix"). The men leave this world to go to the real world to work as much as they can, in order to stay in meta world.

The men are seen as being terrible for doing this, and that the woman who wants to stay here because she can be with her children is seen as the bad guy.

Personally, I don't really see why the Director and the writer we're trying to make men look like the jerks. The women look like whiny brats, who got everything that they wanted, but, because they wanted to live in misery in the real world, because it was "their choice" they are seen as the victors. It's rumored that this movie is going to have a sequel, I'm not really quite sure where it would be, considering the ending would be that Alice goes to the real world, and is immediately arrested.

Barbarian (2022)

It's OK ... an honest, un-biased look

[6/10 · 7 November 2022]

***NO SPOILERS***

I was told before I watched "Barbarian," to not watch any trailer, or read anything about it.

"Looking at the poster is too much; just go see it now," my big time horror fan friend said. Then a co-worker said the same thing. "Go see it after work, trust me." He was also a big horror fan.

"Wow! Two people who are horror fanatics recommend this movie to me. It has to be good!" I thought.

And ... it is, and it isn't.

I loved the build up and release of the first act (if you're a horror fan, you'll love it too). I love the idea driving the second act (the acting is spot on). Richard Brake is superb, like always, in this.

It's the third act where things go a little south. The writing is predictable, which is a surprise considering everything else was amazing and it's just not fun.

The movie is entertaining and enjoyable, just the ending goes flat. The average movie goer won't notice or care, but for the fans, we noticed.

Halloween Ends (2022)

Great plot, and then it ends.

[6/10 · 18 October 2022]

"Halloween ends "much like the rest of the Blumhouse trilogy, suffers from a great idea, poor execution, and then it immediately ends.

After watching "Halloween kills," I didn't have a lot of faith in the sequel, but, I rather enjoyed it, and then it ended abruptly.

Corey Cunningham (Rohan Campbell) plays a man that was a little bit too old to be babysitting, but, is trying to earn a little extra cash, while in college, accidentally kills a neighborhood boy. The parents walk in just as it happens, thus leaving them to believe that Corey killed their son on purpose.

As the new outcast of the town, Corey is bullied, and looked down upon by everybody, of which leads to a physical altercation, where Laurie strode (seriously, you don't need me to say who this is) confront the bullies, and, Corey accidentally cut his hand, leading to Laure take him to the hospital where she introduces Corey to her granddaughter Alyson (Andi Matichak).

Alyson, starts to really like Corey, and vice versa, until they go out for Halloween night at the bar where Corey is confronted by the mother of the son that he killed in the first act.

Corey leaves the bar and then is confronted by the bullies , is beaten up and thrown over the bridge, where he meets and be friends, Michael Myers. As the new "bogeyman" Corey goes on a terror spree, killing some people and us rebirth of Michael Myers.

I really enjoyed this plot. I felt that having Michael Myers, which logistically he is in his late 60s, is a little bit laughable that he would still be terrorizing this town. Having a new person being the outcast and then doning on the outfit is a great idea. I really like the unspoken pact between the two of them and killing people together (a La "NBK") was a fantastic idea.

Where the movie falls apart is when we kill off Corey. We are introduced to a new killer, then he immediately dies. Then we have the big showdown between Laure and Michael, bloodbath on bloodbath, and Michael is ultimately killed by literally being thrown into a shredder However, we know that this is not the end, because when Laurie is writing her memoirs, she says that "evil never dies, it just takes a different shape." Which is a great tongue-in-cheek line to the character of Michael Myers being referred to as "the shape" but, we also know that someone else will become the new Michael Myers.

There's a lot of inconsistencies, and a lot of bad dialogue, but, how many of these movies actually do have good dialogue? First, we have Michael Myers, being pure evil, and he's into Celtic witchcraft, and then he's back to pure evil. Also, we have the character of the dark man who doesn't go anywhere, unless you've read the scripts.

Granted, this new trilogy is one for the toilet, but, this third one started out really well and very strong, and ended in a direction where you're not really wanting it to.

It's definitely a lot of fun, but, for the right audience.

The Collingswood Story (2002)

Well made and well done

[7/10 · 3 October 2022]

In the late 90s, whenever "the Blair witch" hit the world, there was thousands of found footage horror films being made left and right. As time progressed, and we started moving towards the digital age where you could video chat with people, horror films went from found footage to "screen life". I've been told that this is the first of its kind, and, I don't see why it wouldn't be.

Long before "Host" and "Unfriended", "The Collingswood Story" existed, and, the former movies ripped the storyline and shooting style directly from this film.

Is it anything that we haven't seen before, or, a masterpiece? Well, considering no one else has ever done this before this film, yes, it is.

Here we have a story of a girl on her 21st birthday and her friend/boyfriend encourages her to see a psychic via an online chat group. After finding out the history of the house that she currently lives in was once used for witchcraft, she decide to do a little bit of investigation. What happens throughout, is genuinely very well done considering there is no budget behind this movie and, quite literally everything is being done using DV and computer cameras.

Given that this film is literally 20 years old, it probably won't scare the average movie goer, but, your hard-core horror fans will definitely find the appreciation and love that it deserves.

I personally loved the cheesy aspect of the psychic, considering I was in my late teens at the time of this movie was made, and, I can tell you that it all looked a lot like that. It didn't take much to sell an image, and, there's a lot of people online doing the same exact thing.

The writing is pretty straightforward and, the actors don't seem like they are aware of their surroundings, which, makes a lot of sense considering the context of the film.

I say check it out, and, worst case scenario, you get to see how Skype was before it was Skype and then later Zoom.

Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)

It's for kids

[7/10 · 2 October 2022]

For those of us in our 30s and early 40s we remember "Hocus Pocus" fondly because it was so neat to see a living book, creepy images and funny one liners. It was also a kids movie that was tolerable for adults (starring one of their generation's well known performers).

29 years later where they are literally remaking everything from early to mid 90s and either live action or sequel or prequel or requel, and now it's time for that beloved film from our youth to make its way. I suppose "The Halloween Tree" wasn't available for its live action adaptation.

"HP2: The Quickening" (joking) starts out a lot like you would expect. We get a little bit of a backstory from the legend of the Sanderson sisters from the Salem witch trials. Then we smash cut two today, where the town of Salem is super obsessed with the sisters, and they have a museum with hard-core fans, etc., hijinks ensue, Walgreens plug, rumba joke, and the teens outsmart the wisest of all the witchcraft sisters, although, one would wonder how they're so smart when they keep getting outsmarted.

The film is fine, we don't really learn anything new about the Sanderson sisters. There's a lot of fun scenes, and, a few little cheeky nods to the first one. It really looks like everyone had a lot of fun while filming, considering their age. Sarah Jessica Parker is the youngest one and she's in her mid 50s. Bette Midler does a great song and dance number, as expected and Kathy Najimy it is a throwaway side character, just like in the first one.

I really appreciated how they did not change everything so drastically, as is in fashion nowadays. The teenage actors do as expected and save everything in the zero hour, with a fun nod to maybe there will be a new group of "Sanderson Sisters".

I grew up watching "hocus-pocus" and I've always been a fan, and I felt that this movie was completely fine and enjoyable! I strongly recommend watching it with a group of people, or, if you were planning on having a hocus-pocus themed party, you will not be disappointed.

The Munsters (2022)

If you liked the tv show, you'll like this.

[5/10 · 30 September 2022]

Rob Zombie pens a love letter to his childhood favorite show. Directors do this all the time with the movies and tv shows they love. "The Munsters," with was basically a play off of "The Addams Family," was goofy, silly, family friendly monster fun! When movies were made, they were as goofy as the show.

So ... when a new one is made ... why would we expect anything else?

Personally, I loved the punny jokes, just like the tv show. The over acting is literally what you would expect and the storyline is taken from a few episodes (mainly, "Herman, the Movie Star," but it's told differently). There a lot of great material and fun acting (the extras looked awesome) and the film doesn't take itself seriously.

The lighting Is really harsh and seems out of place. It could be the colorized Munsters or maybe Zombie was really going for that living cartoon look.

In all, just relax and go with it. You'll have a way better ride.