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Scream (2022)
Scream and Scream Again..
When I first heard about this movie I was really looking forward to it. The trailer made it seem like it was going to have the most thrilling plot line since the original and I was really curious as to how the characters from the original were getting on 25 years on. The film takes place in the same town as the original and towards the end it features a house party in the same house (Stu's house) also. So it's safe to say there's a lot of throwbacks, including some of the original cast members reprising their roles which was nice to see. The movie mainly follows Sam, the daughter of Billy Loomis (Yeah, the writers really kept that a secret) and her friend group as she tries to uncover the mystery behind a series of murders which are predominantly targeting people she knows. Much like the original and the many 'Stab' movies since "Everyone's a suspect" and all of the same cliché slasher movie rules apply. There's lots of references to horror movies, just like the original; but unlike the original they mainly refer to newer movies within the genre. Times change and apparently so do peoples taste in film references. I'd take The Town That Dreaded Sundown and Prom Night over The Babadook any day; imagine those movies being referenced in a more contemporary movie like this one? Me neither. There's a lot of cool blood-drenched kills and they're all very well spaced out. However I'm a bit disappointed with the kill count overall. There's times where you think a character is going to get killed off, only for them to absurdly survive multiple stab wounds. The movie doesn't really make any sense like that; the main characters sister gets brutalised by Ghost Face at the beginning of the film, to the point where she can't even wheel herself around in a wheelchair, then later in the movie she's brawling like a UFC fighter. But then again, we're talking about a Scream film. These movies seem to defy all sense of realism in regards to injury details. In this world apparently you can only really be killed if you're shot in the head. The ending was the main disappointment in my opinion. The trailer made me think the killer was going to be related to someone from the original movie; some connection to either Sidney or Gale? Personally I was really hoping it would've been Cotton Weary behind the killings. Taking revenge for getting stitched up by Billy and Stu all those years ago. Or maybe even the son or daughter of Cotton, who are taking revenge for their father's injustice. So do we get a reveal as fulfilling and as satisfying as that? No. Instead we get a big "f##k you" to the fans of the original who thought we were going to get a big reveal for the new Ghost Face killer. So would I recommend this film? Well despite its flaws, it's a partially entertaining watch. The acting isn't great, but what do you expect? Everyone's goofy in the Scream franchise. If you're expecting some kind of original formula or individuality, then look elsewhere. This film pretty much just copies the layout of the original and has no shame with doing so. It has its moments, but I still think Scream 4 was the strongest and most unique sequel.
No Retreat No Surrender (1985)
No Build Up, No Payoff
We're all here for Van Damme, including myself. So how disappointing would it be if I told you Van Damme isn't really in this movie? He has a scene right at the beginning and doesn't show up again until 1 hour 18 minutes into the film (yes I time stamped it). Although Van Damme plays the main bad guy, he has no build up throughout the entire movie, which makes his screen presence as the main villain somewhat underwhelming. I think we can all agree we prefer to see Van Damme as the protagonist kicking terrorists and Bolo Yeung in the face. So is it worth the watch? WELL, despite my criticism with the build up, Van Damme actually displays some of his classic martial arts skills and of course we're all about that. But let's forget about JCVD for a second. The fighting and training montages throughout the movie hold up as both exciting and extremely entertaining. The film flows exceptionally well for a 90+ minute run time and the pacing is tolerable, despite the terrible acting and dialogue I.e "No Retreat, No Surrender" which I'm pretty sure if there's a cringe-o-meter out there, that line would max that thing out for sure. Anyway, the unintentional (or intentional) bad acting is pretty funny and adds to the overall charm and comedy value throughout the film. There's also a super cringy sub-plot where our main guy trains with the spirit of Bruce Lee (either that or he's been on the hallucinogenics). This part of the movie doesn't really make any sense as the main characters combat sport of choice is karate and Bruce Lee was known mainly for Kong Fu, but whatever. The film also has a pretty upbeat and satisfying 80's soundtrack which makes the viewing a little more bearable and makes up for some of the other points in the movie which the director failed on.
Anyway overall a fun 80's coming of age flick about a boy who just wants to be like Bruce Lee. Oh by the way, the poster is incredibly misleading as the main character doesn't even face off against Van Damme as it suggests. Instead he watches Van Damme beat up a few black belts and runs in at the last 5 minutes to have a little scrap with him. There's nothing personal between them really because the film failed to give our main character a real reason for fighting in the first place (you know, like every other normal fighting movie). Pfft, if you're a fan of JCVD, check it out, if not, go back to bed.
Ging chaat goo si (1985)
The start of something..
Considered by many to be the apex movie of his career, Jackie Chan starts his Police Story franchise with this incredible action packed feature; not failing to deliver in terms of stunt work and fight sequences, this film showcases Jackie's ability to make sure eyes are always on the screen.
Playing the role of a risk taking Hong Kong cop, Jackie must take down a drug lord and his gang and bring them to justice; he's assigned to protect a witness formerly involved with the gang and make sure she doesn't escape or fall victim to any hitmen trying to remove her from the situation so she doesn't spill the beans and get their leader sent to prison. There's many comical moments in the film including a scene where Jackie answers multiple ringing phones at the same time, having multiple conversations and attempting to multitask to the best of his ability. The action sequences are incredible and reminds us just how fearless Jackie Chan really is; there's an incredible scene at the beginning of the movie where Jackie hangs off the side of a bus while fighting some guys in the bus, then stop the bus in it's tracks causing three bad guys to smash through the front windows and forward flip on the concrete. They were originally intended to land on the car in front, however due to the bus stopping prematurely, they ended up injuring themselves on the hard floor. There's also a great scene in the mall at the end where Jackie laughs in deaths face and slides down a metal pole covered in electrical lighting, all the while being electrocuted and falling through several sheets of glass. He truly has no fear. The only part of the movie which seemed to last longer than it should have is the court scene, although essential to the films premise and wasn't short of a few laughs here and there.
Overall, a great start to the franchise!
Un gatto nel cervello (1990)
The Cat In The Boredom
That's right, the boredom! This movies premise had such potential and Fulci could have made it into one of his all time best movies - but he chose to be completely lazy with it; featuring scenes taken from most of his earlier films and acting as the main character himself (possibly to save money) this just shows how little effort was put into the project. Through casting himself as the lead (Dr. Fulci) he seems to forget he's also the director of the movie... you can tell this by the way he acts in a complete daze throughout. It's difficult to tell if he's aware there is a camera in front of him, because honestly, he didn't give much of a performance at all. The film was probably shot entirely inside his own house, where, for the majority of the film we are treated to seeing him walk around his own home in that same completely clueless fashion. I do enjoy Fulci's work, it's just this one seems like 0 effort was put into it - making the viewing experience extremely dull and monotonous. All (most) of the gore effects (some completely terrible and others not TOO bad) seem to be taken from his previous work, adding to the question if he even cared at all about the project... Oh and there's a horrible soundtrack throughout the film with faded moaning in the background of a terrible track which plays through the vast majority of Fulci's screen time... seems to be his characters anthem or something.
Anyway, story was pretty predictable, acting: shocking, soundtrack: awful..... but check it out if you're a fan of Fulci. I mean you've just got to see it for yourself
Silent Rage (1982)
Chuck Norris vs Invincible Psychopath
Chuck Norris is one of my all time favourite people to watch on screen; his martial arts skills are always showcased in whatever role he plays and his acting is better than average also which makes for an entertaining performance no matter what movie he's in. In this movie he takes on a psychopathic killer who, after an attempted arrest is shot dead - then brought back to life at a biomedical science lab that for some reason he ended up in rather than an actual hospital. I think this is one of the only real flaw the film has. It's kind of unbelievable that a crazed murderer would be the test subject of an invincibility formula in an ideal world.. like "we have a psychopathic murder over here, let's make matters even worse and make him invincible". Also why didn't they just take him to an actual hospital? Anyway, he soon escapes and puts his new power to use by killing most of the people working at the lab and their families - But there's one challenge he just can't overcome.... Chuck Norris. That's right, even an invincible, unstoppable man is no match for Chuck; I mean this guy gets shot multiple times, blown up, set on fire, thrown out of a window and Chuck Norris ends his reign of terror... by throwing him down a wishing well. That's right, so if you're being attacked by an unstoppable force, make sure you have a wishing well nearby because it could save your life. Chuck Norris Certified.
As with every Chuck Norris movie we get to see some great martial arts scenes where Norris pretty much shows his skills for the camera. I've always been a fan of Chuck's no nonsense combat style and he doesn't fail to deliver in this film; on top of a great final fight scene, his character is also pestered by a gang of bikers throughout the film which leads to a great scene where Norris wipes out a large group of them in one of the most amazing bar fight sequences of all time. I mean he just completely wipes out a group of guys in such a kick ass, entertaining way - it's amazing.
Overall it's a great movie, definitely one of Norris' best in my opinion. It mixes Horror, Action and Comedy and makes for a pretty entertaining watch.
7/10
MonsterQuest (2007)
An Absolute Treasure
Hilarious Eye-witness accounts. Witty dialogue. Revolutionary animation. MonsterQuest is, in my opinion a highly under-appreciated and special series. Each and every episode has a new "monster" to showcase; from Big Foot himself, to unexplained flying rods in the sky. Yes, that's right, I said rods in the sky. Moving lines. If that doesn't get you completely hooked there's even an episode on Giant Killer Fish.
Stan Bernard narrates the series and I honestly can't think of a better man for the role. He allures and intrigues the audience with his unique voice and adds so much to each episode. Even with some of the less interesting episodes focusing on lizard men in levitating trash cans - the guy manages to have you hooked just by talking. What a credit to the world of documentaries and voice overs Stan is. Utterly Marvellous.
Every episode has the same level of suspense and honestly, it's hard to pick a favourite episode. But if you put a gun to my head, I'd probably pick the classic episode featuring the legendary Mokele-mbembe, "The Last Dinosaur". This episode really has it all. From crazy locals, a retired archaeologist and of course Mbembe herself who despite everything the locals claim in the episode, she is never actually proven to be 'se too long' nor does any of the MonerQuest team actually discover how long is 'se too long' - I guess we will never find out... Unless the team put together a sequel to this absolutely ground breaking episode.
Overall, this show has everything. 10/10. Check it out
The Breakfast Club (1985)
I won't forget about this film.
A few years ago, I sat down to watch this film on New Years Eve. As I got towards the end of the film fireworks started to go off as the morning of the new year approached. Ever since that date, I have made it a personal tradition to sit and watch this film every New Years Eve. I love this film. I think the very first time I watched this film, I found myself so overwhelmed; not just by the incredible message, but by the beautiful character development and bond the characters share during the film. I think everyone who watches this film can relate to the majority of the five main characters of the film. The first time I watched this movie I couldn't help but identify traits from all five stereotypes in the film in retrospect to my own high school self.
The film takes place in a High School on a Saturday, where three very different students are acquainted with one other to undergo a weekend detention. The five are each individually categorised as certain stereotypes; Jock, Basketcase, Princess, Brain and Criminal. Each of these stereotypes are common in the vast majority of High Schools and I think the whole development of these character-types is genius for that specific reason. The five characters initially appear to hate one another (though some share unlikely bonds throughout the movie) and eventually open up to one another towards the end of the film. I love how the characters sympathise with one another and eventually gain empathy for one another, even though they are completely different and lead completely different lives. It is almost like their meeting changed each and every one of them for the better and they each take away a specific quality from each other by the end of the film. I especially love the many different messages relating to morality and individualism within the film, these include; Everybody is equal. Respect one another. Treat others how you would like to be treated, and most Importantly: Everybody is different.
This film has had a lasting effect on me since the day I put the DVD in my player. This film will almost certainly be in my heart due to the love I have for it. And, I think it is more than safe to say; I won't forget about this film. Ever!
"Sincerely, yours: -The Breakfast Club"
The Lone Ranger (2013)
The Lone Ranger.. What a bore-fest.
What an over-rated hype this film is. It's boring, repetitive and tedious. First of all the film is too long. The film runs for over two hours. Yes, two hours of boring Disney live action. Now to be fair, the film had some positive elements like the cinematography and the historical aspect of the film seems to be accurate. However, that doesn't make up for all of the horrible writing and premise of this horrible adaptation of the original Lone Ranger films. The acting in this film was god awful. Johnny Depp.. I have no idea what he was thinking when he agreed to take on the role of Tonto. This is also the first film I have seen with Armie Hammer. He also, is awful. Helena Bonham Carter plays somewhat of a sexy role in this film. However, little did I know.. she is in the film for like 15 minutes altogether. Then it cuts back to the same old tripe. I had no idea it was William Fichtner playing the outlaw of this film. That character also had 0% charisma.
The music of this film is so repetitive. Didn't the film makers realise that they were just looping the same music for the final train scene. What a joke. It was just horrible. The music, the acting, the premise, the film! It's just the same old wasted material. I got bored of all of this 'live action' tripe since POTC 'On stranger Tides' Possibly even before that.
Overall rating - 3/10
Drive Angry (2011)
Drive "with no logic what so ever" Angry
This movie takes improbability to a whole new level. It defies the laws of gravity, motion, physics, thermodynamics and anything else relating to any scientific logic. I know it's just a movie, but whilst I was watching this I found myself scratching my head wondering how the makers of this movie got away with the vast majority of the stunts pulled off in this over-hyped flick. Now I'll be honest, this film entertained me to a certain extent. I especially liked the last scene where Nicholas Cage defeated the satanists by driving recklessly, whilst shooting them all (what do you expect from a film titled 'drive angry) but the things I hate about this movie is they tried to go over board on the 'exhilaration' factor to the extent where its hard to gain an adrenaline rush watching the film due to the total lack of logic this movie has. I mean seriously 'The Accountant?' what a completely pointless character. In fact he just shows up to remind the viewer he is still in the film. I just think he is a pretty pointless role and the movie would be no different without him. He also has superhuman strength, manhandling fully grown men and kicking car doors off.. sorry *cough* booting car doors off and making them fly through the air at ridiculous speeds! what is that all about? is it supposed to be funny? When Milton recovered after being shot in the face instantly decided to hate the film. I also hate the special effects used when the Jonah King dies. I guess I just expected more from the film, everyone was making it out to be amazing... And i'm not going to lie, it entertained me. But didn't amuse me, nor did it convince me. Overall if you're looking for a 'serious' action flick, avoid this one at all costs. If you're looking for a silly, predictable film but still non the less entertaining with a touch of mild comedy, maybe this one is for you. And everyone has their own opinions so please don't judge me. We can't all like the same films or life would be boring! so for now I will leave you with a quote I picked up from watching this film. "I never disrobe before gun play."