princessjenifer Reviews

Who Is KK Downey? (2008)

Hysterical!

[8/10 · 7 April 2008]

Just saw this movie tonight, as part of the Philadelphia Film Festival, and was very surprised at how well written and amusing it was.

Terrance is twenty-something unemployed loser, with dreams of becoming famous. Unfortunately, his band sucks, and he's is still in love with his ex...who is dating a pretentious douchebag with unfortunate fashion taste.

His best friend is Theo, a chubby, soft spoken writer, who has finally finished his novel "Truckstop Hustler". The filthy story tells the tale of a trans-gender whore, whose only joys are intravenous drugs and random sexual escapades. Unfortunately, it has been deemed "unpublishable", due to the fact that Theo is only a suburban white kid.

The two come up with a plan...Terrance will impersonate the main character of the book, KK Downey, and act as though he had written it as a personal memoir. Before they know it, every hipster in town has a copy, and KK Downey becomes the new Scenester American Idol. Little did they know that living a web of lies in the eyes of the public would turn into such a mess. Failed suicide attempts, girls tied to chairs, and drug induced knife fights are just the beginning.

"Who is KK Downey" is an extremely dark, and absolutely hysterical film about the price people are willing to pay for fame. There were several instances when I nearly fell off of my seat laughing. If there is any justice in the world, this movie will reach cult status, because it is well deserving of such. Highly recommended for anyone that appreciates a sick joke (or twenty), and loves dark comedy.

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

What a double standard!

[4/10 · 24 January 2006]

Before I even begin to explain why this movie was such an enormous letdown, allow me to first state that several of my best friends are gay, and I was DYING to see this movie from the second I heard about it. However, if you are expecting a romantic love story, this is in no way such a thing. I find it very hard to believe that critics would have categorized this film as a romance if it was involving heterosexuals. For instance, the very first "love scene" involving Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal did not involve any kissing, touching, or romantic gestures...simply pure, raw, and almost angry sex without any foreplay whatsoever. If Gyllenhaal's character had been a woman, would that be considered a loving scene? Definitely not. Throughout the movie, the two men meet for countless weekend getaways, but are still willing and able to live strait lives, such as making love to their wives...so doesn't that constitute them as bisexual? I was completely unsold on the fact that these men were even remotely in love with one another...they were merely too fearful to come to terms with the fact that they enjoyed a male romp from time to time. Their "love" was only defined by the fact that they were unable to admit their secret desires to anyone else, leaving them basically stuck with only one another. Lust and passion definitely exist, but the idea of mistaking that for romance seems almost absurd to me. Films such as "Unfaithful", dealing with heterosexual infidelity would never have the audacity to try and pass off a sexual affair as an unending love. I feel as though the critics that praised this movie as touching and romantic were almost afraid to say otherwise, in fear of stereotyping homosexual affairs. There is no way that they would have felt the same way if Ledger's character had been ruining his wife and children's lives with another woman. Unfortunately, double standards such as this are constantly overlooked, due to the fact that everyone is terrified of upsetting gay rights organizations. It was also difficult to have sympathy for the two men portrayed, when after twenty years had passed, they were still unwilling to come out, despite the fact it was the early eighties. It seems quite implausible that two people, gay or strait, would essentially give up such a tremendous love for one another, based on outsiders' perceptions. Overall, the story was well told and nicely acted, but in terms of portraying an emotional romance, they sadly missed their mark.

Silence Becomes You (2005)

Wow. This is so bad, you SHOULD watch it.

[1/10 · 24 January 2006]

What happens when a set of poorly dressed twins allow a wandering psycho to stay in their creepy mansion? A whole lotta wackiness! This movie leaves the viewer questioning many things. Such as... why do these people NEVER leave their house? Why do they want to sacrifice each other? Why was this movie EVER made? This is honestly one of the worst movies ever created. It makes absolutely no sense, the characters have no depth, and Alicia Silverstone's childlike voice and "quirky" expressions stopped being cute sometime in the late nineties. On the plus side, it was actually SO shockingly horrible, I forced a few friends to watch it, just for a good laugh. So, if you like movies that try way too hard to have a "gothic" vibe, starring has-been and little known actors, then this is a film for you!

Enough (I) (2002)

Worthless!

[1/10 · 23 October 2005]

*LOTS OF SPOILERS* Do you hate men? I mean, really REALLY hate men? If so, this movie is for you! JLo (in her worst role ever) plays Slim, a woman that has been slapped around by her husband a couple times. Does she make an effort to get the police involved? Does she file for divorce? Of course not... she instead flees with her daughter, creates an assumed name, and takes boxing lessons. Why get a restraining order when you can take the law into your own hands? JLo begins her training, and in a month's time, has evolved from a suburban housewife into a prizefighter. Hurray! Let the ass-kicking begin! But why stop at beating the husband half to death, why not kill him as well? That sounds reasonable, right? And, to top it all off, after completing the premeditated murder, the police just give JLo a reassuring smile and deem her "one of the lucky ones". What a happy ending! What a ridiculous piece of garbage.

Jane White Is Sick & Twisted (2002)

the producers are kicking themselves right about now...

[4 December 2004]

The creators of this movie were clearly tring to offer something alternative and different, motivated by the nonconformist, art student indie crowd...(and I emphasize "trying")...trying much, much too hard.

This movie is the biggest waste of time EVER, and it's so clearly, desperately obvious that the writers had intense dreams of this becoming a cult classic long before filming ever began. YOU CANNOT DECIDE A MOVIE IS DESTINED TO HAVE A "CULT FOLLOWING" BEFORE IT'S EVER EVEN SHOWN TO AN AUDIENCE. It's just wrong, people. It's not fair. Jane White is such a blatant rip-off of films that were actually cool, and it upsets me deeply that there are people in this world oblivious to that fact. In addition to all this, the cameos of former child actors and such is almost heartbreakingly depressing. Oh, Winnie Cooper, you shold have ended it on a happy note, with the Wonder Years. The absolute worst aspect of the entire movie (with the exception of the poor acting, done on purpose to give the film more of a "B-quality" feel), are the DVD extras. I don't even know why I looked at them, after fully loathing the movie for over an hour and a half. But, unfortunately, I did. The extras actually include a list of "sick and twisted" games, including a drinking game, for Christ's sake. God help us all. Like anyone in the world is willing to watch this movie over and over for the sake of getting drunk. A word of advice: Get drunk BEFORE viewing this film. It won't make it any better, but at least you'll be drunk.

Zipperface (1992)

Academy award winning performances!

[3 December 2004]

This film takes horror to another level. A truly unique, edge of your seat thrill ride of hellish fear. The character of "Zipperface" is so sickeningly deranged (yet twistedly realistic), there were moments where I had to pause my VCR in order to wretch uncontrollably out of sheer terror. As "Zipperface" descents into a whirlwind of madness, I was almost able to feel his grasp on his own sanity frantically slipping into a maniacal world. Nearly paralyzed by his demonic acts, I watched as he unremorsfully murdered not one, but SEVERAL hookers with a variety of bone chilling devices of torture. The unfortunate whores were only able to scream for a mere moment before their inevitable demise, but those very screams haunted my mind and soul for days. Although I purchased this terrifying film at the dollar store, I feel it was almost worth the money, and would even go as far as saying it could be categorized with such classics as: "Bride of Chucky", "Ninja Cheerleaders", and "Nympho Zombies". Bravo, to the entire cast and crew! I am still anxiously awaiting the sequel!

Goth (2003 Video)

You have got to be kidding me.

[3 December 2004]

My boyfriend made me rent this. He actually had seen it before, and wanted to yet again,"embrace the darkness". Not in a good way, but in a "Oh my God, this movie is so eff-ing horrible, you've gotta see it" way. There's nothing I can really say about this movie, except for it is absolutely ridiculous in every possible aspect, and the only real reason to watch it is for a laugh (although, keep in mind, the humor of it wears off after the first fifteen minutes, and then it dawns on you that you just wasted four bucks renting it). I've also noticed that "Brain damage films" tends to trick you by making the covers of their films look somewhat like an actual, "real" horror movie, and if you don't bother to read carefully enough, you could accidentally rent it, expecting something of far more superior quality. Don't be fooled!

Abomination: The Evilmaker II (2003 Video)

I have home videos that are better quality.

[3 December 2004]

How on earth did this actually make it to video store shelves? I honestly do not understand how that occurred. This movie could only be considered cool if a group of my friends made it after drinking all day, as a joke. Also, it pretty much goes without saying that anyone who gave this "film" even a remotely positive review was either A) somehow involved with the cast or crew or B) twelve years old, and excited he got to rent a movie with topless girls in it, without his parents noticing. (Note in regards to the topless girls: NOT the kind of girls you want to see take their clothes off.) The only good thing I can say about this movie, is that it kind of inspired me to get a group of people together, get wasted, and improv a ridiculously bad horror film....which is pretty much what Abomination seems to have done, anyway.