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White Noise (2005)
It's more of a retching sound than a big bang.
White Noise brings Michael Keaton back to the big screen in his first lead role since the disturbingly similar Jack Frost. The film centers on a successful architect, Jonathan Rivers, as his life becomes consumed by the quest to communicate to his dead wife using Electronic Voice Phenomenon (EVP), or duh, white noise. Actually, the film is about an emotionally devoid businessman who becomes obsessed with rescuing endangered souls by deciphering messages from his wife in the beyond through white noise. Wait, the film really deals with a single father and widower, whose unexplained past has somehow angered evil spirits that are trying to reach out from beyond through EVP and
you know what, this film is a #@$%#$@% mess is what it is!
Michael Keaton sleepwalks his way through the role, portraying Rivers as an unsympathetic tragic hero. His lifeless performance is joined by an equally wanting Deborah Kara Unger (The Game), whose face is so tight it must be the Botox keeping her from emoting. After dropping the big cheddar on Keaton and Unger, I guess the producers had to hire a director and a cast of supporting stars who are the exclusive property of 3 a.m. sci-fi television. The plot is confusing and ultimately ridiculous. It took us a good twenty minutes after leaving the theater to piece together a tenuous yet believable explanation for why the film began and ended like it did. OK, isn't connection and clarification of the plot the job of the director?! To make matters worse, the film leaves itself a huge "sequel possibility" ending; shudder at the thought. I cannot honestly think of a single reason to watch this film, unless you just enjoy mind-numbing inanity. The commercials say, "It's the most disturbing film you will ever see," so they cannot be held liable if you subject yourself to this. Your time would be better spent watching the white noise of your television for an hour and thirty-eight minutes; at the very least you'd get a better story.