spock-billy-spike Reviews

Interior Design Masters (2019– )

Great Concept but Stupid Judging

[6/10 · 25 January 2024]

It's a cool concept for a show, all the contestants are full of energy and the variety of rooms/shops to redesign make sure there's lots of content. However the BIGGEST issue with the show is the judge. Having 1 judge on a creative show is insane, they have 'guest judges' on every episode but they don't actually have any input on sending anyone home so it felt more like filler than content. I also personally disagree with the judge on season 1 on multiple episodes (which is fine, it's creative judgement and she has more experience but it could have been way more balanced with 2 or 3 judges). I also personally found the judge exceptionally annoying and she kept telling contestants to both listen to the clients but also leave their own style imprint which makes no sense. #JusticeforJu.

Last Man Down (2021)

Disgusting Right Wing Propaganda

[1/10 · 17 August 2023]

From the first 5 minutes I knew it wasn't even fun 'bad movie' quality. The direction, lighting and camera work tricked me into believing this could be a fun watch but the acting and script drag this movie down into unwatchable territory. The talk about the 'infected' (and portrayal of people in masks tracking them down) is just right wing catnip. The balls they had on them to actually put a tattoo on the wrist of the persecuted was unbelievable. You can pick which decade of history this is a disgusting manipulation of. If someone can tell me that I'm not supposed to make the assumption that the 'infected' were an allegory for covid and the government with masks aren't supposed to be the freedom denying persecutors & the identifying government tattoos aren't an allegory for the holocaust then that would be great. You would be wrong because this movie is attempting to intertwine those two, in a gross manipulation of history. I can't believe Netflix actually added this. Disgusting.

Pet Stars (2021)

One host, less emojis/sound effects and you could have a show

[6/10 · 2 August 2023]

Honestly the 2 host format is just a bit much. I know they did that so they could bounce off of each other but since both of them have their energy at 130% all the time when they talk to each other they hype each other up to 150% and it's just overwhelming. Personally I like Colleen a touch more, I loved her in episode 2 talking about her rescue Dalmatian's and I'm not that into 'pet raeki or however you spell it'. I'd love to know more about the biology of the animals or how the business functions, but a lot of the episodes are bloated by talking or pet raeki or just other animals that aren't relevant to what they're doing. Think Colleen and a pet PR business could actually make for a good show, if they cut down on the kids stuff and get a bit more grounded. Is that actually going to happen? Probably not.

Do Revenge (2022)

Disgusting

[3/10 · 5 October 2022]

I was also outed in middle school. To make the outed girl the villain is just some kind of weird and twisted story. Under the umbrella of making the movie a brutally honest reflection of wealthy white revenge this story crossed over onto somehow villianizing the queer character. I can imagine wanting revenge on the girl who outed me, 100% because it changed my lift in that school. Somehow by writing a script about a lesbian villain manipulating a straight girl into destroying the school this moves missed every single chance it had to actually validate queerness and exploring sexuality in highschool. Honestly this move is disgusting, it's exactly what I would expect from the girls who made fun off me in middle school but who think they're writing some kind of social commentary on classes while missing the blatant thinly portrayed disdain towards the LQBTQI community because they have a gay character cheering them on.

Space Sweepers (2021)

Relentlessly Predictable

[4/10 · 28 September 2022]

You can pretty much tell what's going to happen from the first 15% of the movie onwards. The bad guy is evident from the second he appears, the 'misfit team' coming together and growing hearts because ya know... a kid makes drawings I guess? There were way to many characters and the forced character arcs happened so quickly if you blinked you would miss it and just assumed you were watching some sort of crossover skrull infiltration. Jin Seon-kyu as Tiger Park and the trans robot Bubs are the best parts of this movie by FAR. Some of the visuals and martial arts choreography were decent, and the plot was simplistic but not offensively bad. The movie had potential but bit off WAY WAY more than it could chew. The child character was just wholly uncessesary, and the move could have gotten actross the point that the bad guy is bad without making him want to kill a child. They don't trust the audience to see him as evil if he doesn't want to commit the ultimate crime I guess. Instead of making him an actual dimensional human being they make him just a deluded crazy scientist who wants to kill a kid. A kid who has the ability to create life so she's the ultimate symbol of hope for the next generation. The script doesn't trust the audience to make any choices so it lies everything out in a very simple easy to follow, strict line from start to finish. It's almost insulting to the viewers intelligence. The movie is a conceited predictable mess of unlikeable characters with some random small additions to seem 'different'. I'd almost say it would be better as a tv show because of how much lore they hint at with different character interactions but honestly I don't think they thought through any of those snips of dialogue. They're most likely just throwaway lines they thought sounded cool. That would make the movie seem like it had a seem like a whole world to explore instead of the one way tunnel they just shoved us through instead. A few one dimensional paintings of outside ideas don't made the hurdling hundred mile an hour journey from start to finish more entertaining. Especially when you know you're about to crash into to a Wile Coyote type brick wall that looks like the kid drew the tunnel herself.

Spiderhead (2022)

So close to being good...

[5/10 · 25 September 2022]

It had the possibility of being a new age Clockwork Orange but it failed on every aspect. We're supposed to believe the main characters deserve their punishment because they're prisoners but the twist is their crimes are accidents they would do anything to fix. It would have been a much better movie if they were criminals with intention so we could consider what the line between medical punishment and inhumanity is. But they don't trust the viewer enough to walk the line so they make the 'bad criminals' two people who made one mistake. *NOT SAYING THOSE MISTAKES AREN'T HEINOUS AND WORTHY OF PROSECUTION* but that they're characters who can cry about their own losses (via their own choices) so they're bad but they're good. This idea had a lot of potential, but Miles teller is a horrible miscasting and unlikable off the bat (not even in a way you want to see what happens to him out of curiosity, im just disinterested). The direction is stagnant, the other characters are one sided, the 'jokes' fall flat. I wrote this review intending to give it a 5/10 but it's almost like it missed all the points that made Clockwork Orange interesting and instead boiled it down into a PG version that lacked the actual punch. The main character is a bad guy. He's actually a disgustingly horrible and deeply sick individual and we're meant to wonder if the punishment matches the crime. Spiderhead somehow reverses everything and makes this a 'good guy prisoner' takes on a medical company for mistreatment movie. God, there was potential in the idea but no need to make the prisoners into a sap story, recast the entire thing and get an artistic director and this could have been a winner. Instead it's a bloated slog that thinks it's a lot smarter than it is.

Rogue (I) (2020)

Confused

[5/10 · 30 August 2022]

Multiple storylines that don't thread together very well. The beginning scene of the lions being abused was horrific and a jarring way to start a movie to say the least. Then you're given a brief moment of well deserved revenge and then it spins all the way over to Megan Fox's team trying to rescue some (extremely annoying) girls. Then there's a fight and some shooting and then her team is taking refuge by the 'lion farm'. The problem being mainly that i'm cheering for the lions. No one on the team is extremely likeable and the lions were horrifically abused and probably don't want to see people with a bunch of guns. Fox actually was able to show some cold almost psychopathic acting that was kind of interesting and if it was just her and a fight to survive the movie had potential. But it's bogged down with a bunch of unlikable side characters, mediocre action and you end up cheering for the lions to eat them all.

West Side Story (1961)

Dear Maria, Count Me Out

[7/10 · 2 July 2022]

The dancing, the music, the directing, editing, Rita was PHENOMENAL but I honestly couldn't get into this movie. Maria is an idiot at best, a narcissist at worst. She expects her new boyfriend to stop a gang fight and solve racism. She gaslights her friend to do her bidding and go give a message to the man who killed her boyfriend just a few hours ago. She cries about her brother for 30 seconds and then sleeps with the murderer and then plans to leave her parents and best friend forever with no goodbye. She's more upset about the death of her her new boyfriend of just a few days than she is about her own brother dying. I hated her by the time the credits rolled, she clearly doesn't care about her work, she expected her love to easily stop a huge fight with no regard to his safety, she doesn't care about consoling her friend who's boyfriend (her own brother!!!) just died, she doesn't seem to care about abandoning her parents (who just lost a son), she doesn't seem to care about anyone or anything other than what she looks like and getting laid... eugh

I can only imagine how much I could have loved this movie if the lead was Rita and they gave Maria just a bit of character instead of 'pretty and in love'.

Criminal Minds: A Shade of Gray (2009) Season 4, Episode 21

Child actors.

[5/10 · 28 April 2021]

I'm sorry but Criminal Minds has some dialogue that just sounds ridiculous coming from child actors. The roles asked a lot from the kids but it didn't work out. Half an the episode felt like a bad highschool play. One saving grace was Gretchen Egolf as Sarah Murphy, she was absolutely phenomenal as the grieving but conflicted mother. I definitively want to see what else she's done.

The Craft: Legacy (2020)

None of The Roughness that Made the First so Original/Entertaining/Worth Watching

[2/10 · 1 November 2020]

Not a bad movie in its own right but it for sure isn't at all related to the Craft. It's an ok coming of age story but it's just 120% too much at times. Everything lines up perfectly so that the characters can have sassy lines and the story progresses at the right pace. I love what they're going for but then once you get a sense of the script then you can predict the character choices all throughout the film. Also... let's talk about how it's all about being woke and consent (which is great) but the Lily clearly puts a LOVE SPELL on a boy. Which, I don't know about you but looks like something akin to drugging someone. Lily takes advantage of that boy, he is not making his own choices and that is sexual assault. It's not okay because he's a boy and maybe he liked her before and whatever excuse you have... he didn't kiss her until she put a spell on him. A rough comparison but Lily is basically the bad guy in Jessica Jones. Just boil it down to: human manipulates/drugs other human so they can use them as a sexual puppet. One line by one of the characters about it not being consensual (after earlier in the movie they talk about consent in the school like the screenwriter wants to make it clear that it's not being taken seriously in society) does not equal this movie taking it seriously.

Cliche, totally hypocritical, moments that would be individually cool do not make up for the other 99.9%.

Just.... don't even try it

Mother! (2017)

The WORST Movie I've Seen in YEARS

[2/10 · 11 December 2017]

Just garbage. It hurts so much more because I was committed and actually kind of enjoyed the first 30 minutes, and then it just gets boring and then it gets insane. Not fun insane. but claustrophobic, J Law screaming, baby screaming, noise everywhere, destruction, fire, just way too much to process it just made me want to close the f*&king movie. I watched all the way to the end just so that I could write this review, in case anything amazing happened. Spoiler: it just got stupider.

The beginning was calm enough but did he really have to take the metaphor all of the way and back? It felt like getting slapped in the face with a book multiple times, while having J law scream in your ear and seeing baby body parts being eaten. No reason for this movie. No reason at all. I'm not squeamish its just sensory overload and its too pretentious to watch while having fun like a bad horror movie.

Please save yourself the time. If you're a film lover like me, this will crush your soul. If you're an everyday movie goer it's just going to be gross. I don't understand who could like this.

Berlin Syndrome (2017)

Can't Wait To See What The Director Can Do With an Original Script

[7/10 · 15 September 2017]

I don't know whether its because I expected it to be a lot worse than it was, or because it was actually good (I'll have to watch it again to be sure) but I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. The cold lighting is pretty mood setting, the windows keep the sense of hope alive and shows the audience the seasons changing and the passage of time without it being some clichéd calendar or subtitle when a scene changes. The seasons representing the change of time makes the time seem all the more devestating, and Clare's joy at seeing snow is one of the best shots in the film. Because she isn't seeing the snow as a representation of time passed, just as something new because she's so resigned to the same layout every day.

One of the flaws is how Clare never seems to search for other ways to dull the simplicity, she just reads. Where I would assume most people who feel trapped would search for stimulation, by loud audio or music, excessive physical activity, self mutilation, starvation, binging, alcohol consumption (which I thought when Andi drained the wine that was a subtle reference, but it seemed to be because he was trying to kill her of thirst instead). Any way to beat the monotony, but she just seems to go from escape attempts and wandering to reading calmly, and I just feel there would be a period in between that before she resigns most of herself into the role Andi wants her to play. This idea is hinted at when Andi gives her the dog and she finds some sense of stimulation from that and enjoys the presence and Andi soon takes the dog away to exert control. But as stated before, there are a lot of different ways she could have tried to take control back, and that was never really explored.

Thats my main nitpick, and would have made the film go from just above average to pretty good. The other nitpick is there would be knives in the kitchen and it seems she could have used those, additionally the mirrors could be broken into shards that you could wrap clothing around as a handle and use as a weapon (seen before in other movies).

But all in all, quite good acting, solid direction, and the way it switches perspectives allows the movie to be as long as it is without feeling boring (although it might seem a hair too long). I recommend.

Jenny's Wedding (2015)

Who is She Getting Married to Again??

[5/10 · 13 August 2015]

I was really excited to see this movie, hoping that a decent romance movie would be made that I could enjoy but it didn't happen. The plot may well be about Jenny coming out to her parents but it actually focus's way to much on that. Jenny's fiancé 'Kitty' is a washed out character with little to no back story and emotion.

The whole movie is about her wedding or thats what the title is and she's getting married to a cardboard figure. Bedel did a great job with adding facial expressions to make up for the lack of lines but the script just bombed her character to hell.

The rest of the movie is actually decent, and the mother daughter relationship is okay if a little overwrought. It doesn't make up for the fact that the movie's premise sucks and flops and there's one recurring thing about grass that made this movie a 6/10 not a 7/10 because it was so f*&king stupid.

All in all, its okay and if you don't care what you're watching and want to throw some cash at the movie to entice other directors and script writers to make movies with LGBT members than do, but don't expect anything groundbreaking.

High Tension (2003)

Unknown Killer: Not Very Scary

[7/10 · 31 May 2015]

A very good horror movie in terms of horror movies. It had a decent script and great directing at times, but the plot needed some reworking. The mysterious killer needed more background and set up, they felt one-dimensional at times, even if they gain some explanation around the end. An character who is unknown for half of the film can't be very scary.

The way that Marie's character is set up is interesting, but for the sake of the plot it would have made more sense for her to have been a man. The second half of the movie has a lot of influences and some thought provoking points, but related more to a heterosexual couple, especially due to some phallic object shots by the director. I think they thought that the two female characters would bring another dimension to the movie, but it's clear that it was originally thought out with a male and female. My favourite part of the movie was the ending, not to be mean, just the last scene was the most interesting and clear cut part of the movie.

All in all, it's a decent movie-movie, and a pretty good horror movie. Don't expect everything to get explained and you should enjoy it.

Frontier(s) (2007)

A Mixed Bag of Beauty and Horror

[8/10 · 10 May 2015]

Frontier(s) is a very interesting movie, in a good way and in a bad way. Xavier Gens does not shy away from gore but he also favors symbolism and some very dramatic shots. It's clear that he's torn between these styles as sometimes the scenes seem to be shot by completely different people. Both are fantastic on their own, but together there's a strange mix. There's a shot with the main character getting her hair cut that is beautiful and clear. Just a few minutes before there was gritty, hand-held, night-vision camera action. I think he was pressured to make this into more of a classic horror (Wrong Turn).

All in all, it's worth a watch. It's very good actually, I really hope that he gets some focus and a bit more freedom because I think this movie could have been fantastic. He directed perhaps the best segment in the ABC's of death, definitely the most memorable and symbolic (XXL). He has some fantastic shots in this movie, and the actors were way above average for a horror film, specifically Karina Testa and Maud Farget.

I'd recommend it for anyone who enjoy's horror movies really, and for people who want to see something different.

Chloe (2009)

The Most Complex On Screen Relationship I've Seen In Months

[8/10 · 26 April 2015]

Chloe was nothing I was expecting. I'm so disappointed in the rating it currently has, must have been depleted because of dudes who were expecting a 1 1/2 hour lesbian porno. Moore and Seyfried had chemistry that lit up the screen, much more so than Neeson and Moore. As someone who doesn't like romantic movies, I was entranced by the relationship between Chloe and Catherine. A lot of reviewers are suggesting that it's soft core porn, yet I think that's only because they're the ones that watch the movie because of the lesbian scenes. The sex in the movie is actually in a relatively short scene and focuses a lot on the faces, if it were straight sex I don't think people would say it was porn.

As someone who has been put in Chloe's shoes, I think the movie did the situation justice. It made Catherine into a three dimensional character who had complex feelings for Chloe. There's no happy ending, way too many movies push characters together but not 'Chloe'. Catherine and Chloe's relationship was the most real and intricate relationships i've seen in a movie.

If you're watching it for lesbian action, you might be disappointed. If you are actually watching the movie to see a movie then you're going to be pleasantly surprised.

Collateral (2004)

Surprisingly The Worst Movie I've Seen In A While

[6/10 · 19 March 2015]

Where do I start with this mess. I wasn't impressed by Foxx's performance at all, and Jada Smith's minor character was one dimensional. Cruise did relatively well, but failed to bring any sort of humanity to his character, some better writing would have helped. The music was terrible, the 'dramatic' scenes in the taxi driving through the city at night looked straight out of a music video. The plot was okay in theory, but was a mess of coincidences the more you watch. How two of the main characters in the movie, (who also didn't know each other before), rode Max's taxi DIRECTLY AFTER EACH OTHER amazes me. Women also don't give their cards to random taxi drivers, and i could talk for hours about Cruises aim (good for the targets, sh*t at the final scene because the screen writers wanted it). The directing was mediocre, expected shots at expected times, it was all the coincidences that really angered me. The entire movie is one huge coincidence and it doesn't play out well, the ending was expected and cliché and save your time to watch something decent (American History X, There Will Be Blood, for gods sake even Mission Impossible because at least that franchise knows its ridiculous)

All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

A Chick Flick for Lesbian Rockers

[7/10 · 18 March 2015]

I was expecting the usual, nerdy girl gets wounded then gets revenge on the popular girls. I personally don't care for chick flicks, this is one that blurs the lines between romance, horror and the occasional comedy. It's gory as hell, the special effects suck and only four of the female actors can act, but it's amazing. Not for people who didn't like evil dead or only watch a movie to see two girls getting it on. It's extremely rare to find a movie that actually creates a relationship between women and it's f**ked up in this one but still entertaining. If you were expecting a cheer movie, a horror movie or a chick flick, it isn't for you. It isn't the pinnacle of film but it's fun and bloody and has female characters that are gorgeous and psycho. Some of the actors actually surprised me, and the directing did, don't take it seriously and it's pretty enjoyable. The 'Leprechaun' franchise, spin off Jaws and any rom com with Adam Sandler could use a whole lot of tips from this movie.

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

Don't Take It Seriously and Clench Your Thighs

[7/10 · 27 January 2015]

Obviously this isn't a movie that's going to change your life but the adrenaline rush you get from the ending will affect the first week or so after you see it. It's the creme of the crop of revenge horror, you get terrible people and the charismatic main character and then everything goes to hell. It's the best ending of a horror movie, one that managed to keep me interested and amazed, since The Hills Have Eyes. There's no twist like Saw, and it is rather linear at times but if you like horror, this is going to be a religious moment. There's violent flesh wanting animals, chemical horror, shotguns, and a main character that won't let you down on gore. Don't take it seriously and watch for talented acting or fine filmmaking and you should have a very good movie experience.

The Ruins (2008)

Plants Have Never Been Scarier

[7/10 · 27 January 2015]

Not on the same level as the Silence of the Lambs or The Shining, but that's because it isn't a horror psychological thriller, it doesn't have deep meaningful conversations or writing... and it's amazing. The directing is okay, it doesn't try and pass the movie off as some artsy film and pan up from the gore often. It doesn't leave you with questions relating to the duality of man (any Kubrick fans?), but a hell of an adrenaline rush. Well worth the watch, one of the best pure horror movies i've seen. I'd rate it 9/10 for it's genre, but IMDb doesn't work that way. I love meaningful movies, and I love the art in movie making but sometimes you have to sit down for an hour and watch something that gets your heart pumping.

Raw Cut (2013)

1 star for the idea, -9 for everything else

[1/10 · 13 September 2014]

This movie made me so angry, these 'actors' couldn't act themselves out of a paper bag. The script was predictable, the characters boring, the horror part of the movie is shoved into five minutes at the end with obvious fake blood and no gore. If you're going to make a movie with four actors, you better make damn well sure they're good because I got tired of the whiny voices and the uglier and less convincing machinist version of Christian Bale. I fast forwarded through more than half of the movie because their version of character development was basically smut and or really simple conversations that repeat themselves. Aside from Cannibal Holocaust, this is the movie I most regret spending any time whatsoever on. Just save yourselves, there is nothing good in this movie, no redeeming qualities. I would have rated zero stars but I don't think I can, and also I didn't think that they would put actors in a movie that could have been upgraded to p*rn stars, better looking and better actors.

Congrats to everyone who made this movie, you made money off of nothing and you should look into becoming magicians.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)

Good but I couldn't focus.

[5/10 · 5 September 2013]

All in all it was a good movie, actors were awesome, writing was cool. But I squirmed in my seat for the entirety of the two hours. The whole 'incest' part was too much for me. :/

I thought that the plot was interesting and I would have loved the movie, in my mind I was grossed out. The movie didn't need some Twilight romance crap. It was good as it was and I would have enjoyed it if not for the created romance drama. The vampires were awesome and Lily Collins was surprisingly good. The main male actor with the blond hair was just... Very aesthetically pleasing. But, the movie is worth watching. If you can hold in the vomit.