elenorw Reviews

Vikings: Valhalla (2022– )

It's nice

[8/10 · 28 October 2023]

Pretty men with swords and little clothes covered in dirt, sweat and blood - what's not to love?

This is definitely a more mainstream answer to Vikings and I honestly can't tell if one is better than the other, considering all seasons of the former show. There is a need to compare, tho, since this is pretty much a continuation of the show with an ice eyed Travis Fimmel in the lead.

This show follows a more "tame" and known pattern of storytelling, the style is more Hollywood than its predecessor and the actors lean into a more recognizable mold. It's "safe" and should make a more comfortable landing in the viewers than Vikings much more gritty, Scandinavian approach (as a swede that's what I see).

That said, the characters are not as compelling or unique as one would like, they fit a pattern that on the other hand make the plot easier to follow - and they are not unlikable, only...more basic.

The plot is split in two and then three, each detour lead by one of the three leads, where I think "the Greenlander" has the most interesting twist of development.

Last but not least - this is fiction, only a fool would compare this to history or reality, and as such I find it entertaining. It's adventure, swords and pretty people. Accept it for what it is, it hasn't promised anything else, and simply enjoy the fantasy. It's nice.

Downsizing (2017)

What even was that?

[2/10 · 1 October 2023]

So much talent crammed into a title and not a minute of skill shown.

This movie is a mess from the first scene. Trying to be critical (?) of society is more a guess than an experience from this 2:15 h watch. I can't believe I actually could stand to watch all of it but that grants it this extra star.

Slow, pointless and without goal. Matt Damon has never been this uncharming and those seven minutes of Kristen Wiig is her least funny in her career. What are any of them doing here?

Plot: none There's this fiction of a future that invented a shrinking tech and for some reason people think it's a great idea, reasoning it'll make the human race less of an impact on our climate. They're idiots.

Matt Damon is a boing guy, doing boring things living a boring life and he wants to make it not boring by shrinking. He's an idiot.

He meets an eccentric too old playboy that tells him he's boring so he takes drugs and meets a cleaning lady to help her (because he's boring). She thinks he's a doctor, because she's an idiot.

They have no chemistry, make absolutley no pass on eachother, until Matt Damon is a boring creep and kiss her in her sleep and she instantly wants to sleep with him. The movie makers are idiots.

He ends up living a boring life as a shrunk person.

The end.

The Suicide Squad (2021)

It's a bad joke

[12 September 2023]

7.2? It's got a 7.2?! Damn, I'm at 34 minutes and can hardly keep watching! It's so bad. The first one was ok, Harley Quinn's own movie was truly entertaining, but this...this is shite. On a stick.

I guess this is the DC answer to the "sillynationing" of superhero movies that came after Guardians of the Galaxy. Difference is, as always, that Marvel has charm off DC simply cant get the concept of self distance.

What's bad? The humor. They're trying soooo hard and completely missing the mark. And without humor that works, this movie is a disaster.

Watch at great risk of losing all respect for Margo Robbie and Viola Davies, as none of them fit into this sort of disaster cast or lack of vision and plot.

Manifest (2018–2023)

Bored

[4/10 · 18 July 2023]

Currently at s3e11 and the word is booooored. What started off for btw resting and mysterious soon gave way to goodie two shoes Christian family TV. Yuck. Blaaah! Cheesy acting and holding hands moral in each and every episode. All tension between characters end in making friends or getting married! Isn't that great? It's like the writers forgot that what pulls viewers into a series opposed to a movie isn't plot, it's character development and character relationships. And there are other types of relationships than cute boyfriend/girls friend or "deep, mature" marital couples.

Read a book, Hollywood.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

Re-skinned nostalgia

[6/10 · 9 July 2023]

Ok, so I watched it late, in 2023, I wasn't hyped, at all, and my expectations were very low. So it was way better than I had thought! Maybe not that hard to overcome my expectations, but still a pleasant surprise.

My biggest dislike was the I'll fitted goofy jokes (c'mon, it's still a dystopian future with themes of destiny and the power of faith, let's lean into it!) and that it was cut short; felt like I only watched half the movie and now the real task was about to start. Up it rolled end credits.

What I really like about it was first of all the cast; any Sense8 fan will watch this for that alone. And I really enjoyed how they "modernized" the characters, this "re-skinned" version. And I really like the design of the world, a good mix or old and new.

The questionable part is; how far can we go on nostalgia alone? Not very. And it's a lot of it here. I also question the decision to make this Neos story again. Resurrect them, sure, but don't make them the center. Instead of a Neo, give us an apprentice, let us know this new, changed world through the eyes of someone new. A copy, a new version. This should have been Agent Smith 3.0s movie. Now that would have been something else.

As of now, this is a nostalgia trip for my generation, but nothing more.

The Witcher (2019– )

S01 - confusing, s02 - bickering lovers with monsters, s03 - The Witcher Family

[6/10 · 6 July 2023]

There was pretty good potential in the first two seasons, although questionable story mode with the time jumping and all, but season 3... First episode made me think of Xena warrior princess, but I don't wanna insult a cult classic.

As of episode 4 it's they've more or less dropped the political plot line and the horror theme is but a memory. This is a family show now! Parents trying to raise a moody teenager and a funny hard dropping witty one liners that make the others go "Oh, Jaskier..." with a tilted head.

Full scenes of complete character 180s. Sad. Pathetic. And will appeal to a much broader, easier public.

Rectums.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 22: Guns for Hire (2023) Season 3, Episode 6

Just...what the fudge was that?

[3/10 · 5 April 2023]

Can we get over the fillers yet?

Honestly, this season has taken a deep dive in a way none of the previous ones have even been near.

I'm all for exploring the universe of Star Wars, to visit weird cultures and flesh out characters or races that we e only touched on before - hell, that's the appeal of the series!

But there's a difference in exploration and exploitation . This episode was all about putting in a handful of big names that honestly are too big (and frikking unskilled) to be anything g else than their real life persons, into a universe that never asked for it.

What do we take from this episode?

1. Squids and frogs apparently shouldn't mix.

2. Mandalorians are corruptible.

3. Bo Katan is a rightful princess.

Everything g else in this, if complete and utter meta BS that's got nothing to do with Anything.

I don't like to judge a show before it's finished and had a chance to thigh up loose strings, but the last few episodes cuts and thighs it's own strings witching 35 minutes.

Go back to tell us a story about the big picture.

The Magicians (2015–2020)

Who ever put this down can go an suck a flaky duck

[10/10 · 12 March 2023]

The first season is the odd one out, or rather, it's the most main stream one, after that is all about the colors of the rainbow.

If the Harry Potter-series made sweet love to Skins, and they moved to America to have their baby, this would be it. Dark, wicked, hilarious and all heart.

I loved this, it filled a hole for the dark and whimsical fantasy we didn't know we wanted. Now I need it. Even the y likable characters (are there even any truly likable?!) made me fall in love with them!

But that's all history now. May the money grabbing capitalist old white man farts that cancelled this show rot and be forgotten.

Disenchanted (2022)

Boring and disappointing

[6/10 · 21 November 2022]

If it wasn't for the nostalgia I'd given this a 4.

Is a pity, because all the ingredients are there; great actors, a solid pitch, a massive budget...but no filling, only crust.

The concept of the plot is great; a magical wish goes wrong as it means fairy tale logic is applied to real people and our former heroine Giselle is turning to a villain! Will the almost grown Morgan be able to reach past her grumpy teen persona and find her faith in fairy tales again? Great pitch!

Only that it's not what the movie is about.

There's no gradient turn of the people, no slow realization for neither Giselle or Morgan. Everything is explained as it happens, the logic of magic made up as it shows, or at least that's what it feels like as they present the answer to a problem exactly one second after it's occurred and then take three whole minutes to actually carry out what ever they just figured out before the next one shows up.

There is no generational change; Giselle is still the heroine although she's also the villain (?) and Morgan and Robert simply become completely other characters instead of gradually turning into their fairy tale persona. Missed opportunity.

I'd have loved for this to be Morgan's and Giselles story. Have Morgan rediscover her love for magic and imagination and faith in "happily ever after" by finding her self as the heroine she didn't think she was - all while Giselle yet again find her way back to what made her want to leave her former life of imagined paths for an open world that may be full of strife and conflict, but where love and overcoming those conflicts tastes all the sweeter for it.

This was not that. This was a mess of musical numbers "for the sake of it", special effects because they can do them and focus on Amy Adam's, because she's the star.

Disappointing. But not unexpected.

Elvis (2022)

Not the biography you'd expect, but one hell of a portrait

[9/10 · 5 September 2022]

Any let down people might talk about is of their own doing for expecting a bio pic, a take on the life of Elvis. This is not that. This is a portrait of Elvis, drawn from the rare angle of the crook in the story, Col. Parker.

I'll be honest, Elvis was my first crush as a little girl and it was the first CD i ever bought with my own money ( I remember it clearly) and still I've not been blind to the dark sides of Elvis and so I went into this with a bit of worry; they could either flesh out the drugs, the infidelity, the highly questionable age gap between Elvis and Priscilla, or; they could romanticize it all and make him look polished and innocent... I wasn't really looking forward to any of that, but I did expect one of the other. This was none of it.

Baz Lurhmann takes it all on a spin, dip the story in some modern dip and pours gold and glitter on it. It's what he does and he does it good! Sure, it's not a musical. It's not a show. But it was never made out to be that.

Tom Hanks is a compelling manipulator, a compassionate hustler that lure us all onto the wrong track one way or an other during the length of the movie. We like him. We hate him. We trust him?

But the real star here is Austin Butler. He is Elvis. By the end of the movie I realize I haven't even questioned how the character reasons or how he acts, since it's right there, it's staring right at me - the person, the man himself. Every look of the eyes, whip of the hips, wiggle of a shoulder... It looks effortless. Natural. I thought I'd have difficulty erasing the blonde Hanson-brothers look from Shannara chronicles from my mind, but honestly, it didn't even take minutes.

If you like Luhrmann, watch it, if not, don't.

If you like Tom Hans, watch it; it's rare to see him do a crook.

If you want to see a star being born, watch Austin Butler.

House of Gucci (2021)

Strange pacing and flimsy writing

[5/10 · 11 August 2022]

What exactly did they want to tell with this story? I really don't know.

There is never a foreshadowing of Patrizias betrayal, not of Mauritzios sudden intrest in the family business, not an incling that he started to trust his wifes head for business... Actually, I don't know if she was portrayed as being all that much of a businesswoman? All her wants and decisions came from nowhere and the only genuine parts felt like the few times the actors actually got a connection between improvised scenes without point. And then there's a whole room full of fake italian accents, Jared Leto being the worst and of course Adam Driver being the best actor of them all, except for maybe Al Pacino.

This is not an 80's nostalgia film. This is no cruise in 80's and 90's fashion. This is not a family drama. This is not a "power woman climbing on top in a male dominated world"-movie. This is not a hustle-movie. It's not a murder mystery. It's not a thrilling court drama. It's nothing.

Meh.

The Adam Project (2022)

Thin cheese.

[5/10 · 26 May 2022]

The cast is entirely 7 people and none of them sells it. Ryan Reynolds is the same character he's been in his last fourteen movies, Saldana enters for fifteen minutes to act out on a preset contract no doubt, the kid has been schooled to copy and whip lines like his adult self and the plot...what was it...yeah, something about "an evil lady has destroyed the future with time, we gotta undo it!". That's not a summary tho, that's actually the whole plot. No nuance, no details, no soul. Not a sci-fi, this is pointless cheese without flavor. But sure, I don't hate cheese. Only which it wasn't plastic and storebought.

The Batman (2022)

It's finally back

[9/10 · 6 March 2022]

The thing that's always put Batman apart from other superheroes is one, well, maybe two distinct things: he's not really "super" and he's not really a "hero". The term anti-hero is too far off, but you get my point. He's no wide eyed, peace loving, team player and he was never supposed to be. DCU hasn't gotten that - but The Batman nailed it.

While other movies mostly focus on the Bat himself, his struggles and self doubt, his mental state and isolation, this movie definitely play into these points, but it's Gotham, the City, that's gotten the main focus.

The city has a personality, a pulse. Sure, other movies have made it dark, but they haven't made it noir and gothic, while the Gotham we see here is all about that. We see head on the nitty, gritty corruption, the mysticism and the depraved people that populate the rooms and streets of Gotham. Violent gangs, murderers, corrupt politicians living out a very alive mob culture. And looming above them all, a dark knight, completely in sync with the city that shaped him, balancing on a thin line between sanity and the much easier path of passive acceptance.

Pattison's Batman is a younger man than we're used to, but it makes his actions much more believable and his insecurities easier to see and buy into.

Kravitz's Selina Kyle has more personality and a more proper agenda than any Catwoman before her, without losing the traits of a sexy and seductive cat burglar. Who knew a woman could be all these things?! Shocking.

Wright's Gordon is as uncorrupted as we always knew him to be and he is a perfect counter part to the looming Bat without over playing the naïvity of a good hearted person or making him an imbecile.

Serkis would've never been on my list of potential Alfred's, but here we are and he's doing his part without fault. The character has been toned down, maybe because we're not seeing much of a young Bruce Wayne, but he has the most prominent part to play as a living moral compass to the young man he's been raising.

This is the best Batman we've had since Christian Bale and Nolan did their take and I hope to see more of it.

Gotham is alive and the Bat is right at home.

Black Widow (2021)

Chose a leg to stand on

[4/10 · 13 August 2021]

This movie suffers from indecisiveness. They wanna tell the story of a woman stripped of her humanity through childhood trauma and brainwash. They wanna tell the story of the pain of being human without emotion, of how love can overcome the scientifics of mans greed and lost for violence. They wanna tell the story of the saultry, ice cold, sexy, kick-ass Avenger Black Widow.

They don't. They tell some random filler-episode in between the other, real Marvel-movies. You know, the ones with the money and the nice scripts and strong female characters. And the actual educated CGI-team.

It's like they made this movie three times, -a comedy, a drama and an actual Marvel-movie-, and trashed it one after the other so the end product is a mishmash of them all and therefore doesn't excel as any of it.

We don't get the BW origin. We don't get to see her get snatched from her mothers arms or shaped by stone cold Russian matrons in an all girls secret agents school. We don't get to see her struggle to fit in, to achieve goals, to form bonds with others in her situation. We don't get to see the ruthless BW before she met Barton and reformed some kind of humanity again. All we get is a medley of pictures with fakes christmases and girls moving in unison.

Wtho even is the protagonist? Scarlet show us sides of a character we sure as hell have never met before. And the blonde girl, didn't even remember her name, she's the one starting, AND finishing, the plot line. And the antagonist?! Who is this man in a suit who, for some reason, in a "twist" of events has the plan to reduce the world female population? It's like they're making a parody of a "go girls go!"-marvel movie. Any breathing person on this planet knows this was to be "the first female superhero movie" - and that they missed the date with about a decade. And they missed the mark, but seriously, I didn't watch this to see some feminist angled action (and I've got both pink hair, thick glasses and a nose ring!) but I put this on to watch Marvel! And I got jack poop.

Not even the wonderful Rachel Weisz could save this. And the dad from Stranger Things, who's main thing is burly charm, gets the possibly least charming burly man ever to play. It's like they went "oh no, children being brainwashed, a family who can't have real relationships - man, this u getting kinda heavy! We need to lighten it up! Let's make the dad, the one who betrays the little girls to the core, and make him the comic release! Let's get him a known face who'll make people live him just the same. Great idea, Frank!"

Idiots.

Alita: Battle Angel (2019)

Nothing more than CGI

[4/10 · 24 February 2019]

Once again James Cameron makes a movie completely focused on it's CGI and therefor completely forgetting the plot and character development. In comparison with Avatar, how ever, ALita. Battleangel does not have a waterproof tale as old as time to rest it on.

Don't get me wrong, the CGI is on point, and the action with it's cool comic book-style framing is there, but it rings very empty.

They should have made it a series.

The Punisher (2017–2019)

Best of the Marvel shows

[8/10 · 2 February 2019]

I'm a pretty big Marvel-fan, not so much of the comics (tho I read my part of comics as a kid) and I must say The Punisher swept me away. This is a full blown actionfilled, gunswining, 'Murrica-growling blood fest, -some of the the most vomit hurling combos there is, to me-, and I loved every goddamn minute of it!

Frank Castle is an excellent antihero. We're never fooled to believe he is a hero, everything he does is too extreme, too dark and violent, but you never not root for him. Jon Bernthal gives us every visual we can take of a true breed 'murrican marine,exactly as the myth tells it, including the PTSD - of a sort, anyway.

As the show is already filled with growling, half naked male body scenes and action, I guess the filmmakers already knew they'd have the male audience in, so they've put alot of effort into capturing the other part. The show is heavy with romantic tension and scenes of Frank Castle being an all around nice, missunderstood, helping handyman, just enough for every woman to go "the right woman could mend his broken soul!", and they lay it out frikking perfectly. Everyone know we love that shizzle.

The best part, I think, is how there are no small/shallow characters. More or less every character with a name has something to his/her backstory, something that become relevant for the story or the character development.

It's all of these perfectly balanced pieces that take away the sexism and 'murrican parts of it that otherwise would repulse me.

In short - it's a damn good show.

Lost in Space (2018–2021)

Sometimes All New is better than Renew

[6/10 · 28 April 2018]

I never watch the old 60's series, but I did see the 90's movie and tho Gary Oldman is as brilliantly villianous as ever, it was never a good film. Ever. As oppose to this.

Considering they're taking an old "Wholesome Family - In space!"-concept from the thick of the 60's, this is not bad. The enviroments are nice looking, the effects top notch and the science-talk can fool any leighman (as my self). As to the plot...yeah, I struggle with the idea of any adult putting their 18y, 15y or 10y old in charge of anything technical other than resetting the router, but fine, I'll buy it because of the we'd-otherwise-die and the soldier-dad and scentist-mom setup. Or setupts.

The old movie, as I recall, only ever centered around the Robinson's, their pilot, the weird robot and the infamous Dr. Smith. Thus the Doctor is a heavy part; the counterpart, I'd say, to the peachy, perfect American Standars Fam-... But no, they've actually shaken those stereotypes up a bit. Great!

The once Wholesome, Stay-at-home-wife and Hands-above-the-cover-mom has gotten a personality! =D And a profession. Amazing. And the strict, Stand-up-straight-dad has gotten some prominent flaws and dare I say war stigma? Fantastic. Along come two daughters that still heavily rests on the stereotypes of the "goodie-to-shoes" big sister vs. the somewhat nagging, reluctant teenage middle child, the four of them still make out a decent, modern take of the Robinsons. And then there's the baby brother. The angsty 10 year old. Oh, sorry, twelve. Or eleven. What ever, he's boring as hell.

While the other perform pretty all right, and the younger daughter I think stands out from the others a bit, the kid is just awkward. From his facial expressions to how he's supposed daddy-issues and lack of confidence and.... Ok, so he's no Jake Lloyd, but he's not supposed to carry a series on his shoulders just yet. but he is. He's the main character, more than the others.

So, say we buy this weird, but still pretty "fresh" set up - enter, Dr. Smith! She's a delight. She's funny, witty, smart, decieving, selfish and everything else that Gary Oldman tought us about the character! And just like him, she's a COMPLETE over actor. The sci-fi drama become fars as soon as she enters the scene. I find my self curling up in the coutch, giggle to my self, wondering what trickery she's up to next.

Right or wrong? Dunno. But; balance askew.

Whatever this show is doing wrong, it's not bad enought for me to turn it off. Dad is hot. Middle sister is funny, Dr. Smith is shrewed enough to compensate for the kids lack of charm. Watch it for the scenery if nothing else!

Reign (2013–2017)

In a somewhat twisted Elizabethan era Mary finds her self on the verge of being a queen, but first she has to live through the french court.

[7/10 · 11 September 2015]

In general terms, this is a tale of Mary, Queen of Scots, and her struggle for her throne. It is also a feast in beautiful dresses and environments, love triangles, devoted friendships and deadly betrayal. So, it's pretty much any teen drama set in a mostly made up part of history. Like any of that? Me too!

First of all, no one is saying this is anything but fictional. Inspired by historical figures, yes, but with a whole lot of salt in the mix. And don't we love it! As soon as you can accept that this by no means is a review of what happened to Mary Queen of Scots in her real life, you're in for a treat! Yes, the wardrobe is out of this world, with modern textures, shoes and jewelry deeply inspired but Elizabethan times, but clearly made for a modern audience, and yes, the plot is a bit too cheesy with not so very realistic people and so on - but hey, we love this in every other show! This is no different. For good or bad.