samcelroman Reviews

Renegade Nell (2024– )

Not just absurd but blatantly evil

[1/10 · 30 March 2024]

Look, it's 2024. I already knew there was going to be some ahistoricity for the sake of "diversity." And sure, these characters supposedly living in 1706 talk like modern-day London illiterates. Fine, fine. We all must pay homage to The Message.

But what about the story? Alas, the first episode and its bright, stirring music leaves the viewer to think this will be a light-hearted romp with the female lead playing a kind of Robin Hood-esque role. Sure, there's a "twist" in which a "helpful fairy" gives her super powers when it comes to hand-to-hand combat, but again, that just adds to the fun, comic vibe.

Alas, by the second episode, we're already into a straight-up Satanic ritual, have terrorized young children (including with sexual assault), and have traveled very, very far down a dark path, indeed.

About the only positives to note here at the gorgeous settings and the actor playing Lady Wilmot is exceptionally brilliant. But this show's beating heart is corrupt, and anyone who loves their children should stay far, far away from this awful story.

Scoff all you want to, but this is the kind of material that glorifies evil in such a blatant and open manner that you can scarcely believe your eyes. Not recommended for absolutely anyone.

Population: 11 (2024– )

Utter dreck

[3/10 · 26 March 2024]

Couldn't tell if this was an Australian show meant for American audiences or an American show filmed in Australia. Either way, I couldn't have been more bored.

The premise, though, is intriguing. Hey, it's a tiny town of 12 people (one is missing from the get-go, hence the title) in rural Australia. Okay, cool. At least we'll get some spectacular scenery.

Then, to my horror, I realize the "star" is none other than Ben Feldman, playing exactly the same character that he did in Superstore. You know, always nervous, lots of hand waving, overly polite. Haven't seen his other work but apparently he only knows how to act one way.

Well, the Australians have got to be better, right? Um, no. It's like the producer said "make everybody wacky. No, wackier! No, ten times wackier!" Ugh, the whole thing ends up being more boring than if they all just sat in the bar, watching cricket.

Look, ONE wacky character in a group of normal people is funny and exciting and intriguing. But every single person being weirder and zanier than the rest makes this a comic book (no offense to comic books). The viewer is left to conclude that it's a miracle that these people can feed and dress themselves, to say nothing of paying their bills.

As for the mystery... well I only got 4 episodes in and threw in the towel. I don't really care what happened to the missing guy and whatever the other "woah OMG twists" were. All I wanted was for. Jonah to STFU and go home, already.

But yeah, the few outdoor shots were beautiful. Wow *golf clap* you did one thing right, and literally all you had to do was point the camera because nature did all the work.

The Trades (2024– )

Wonky at first but packed full of potential

[9/10 · 24 March 2024]

As soon as I saw that "Ricky" from TPB (Robb Wells) was headlining this show, I raced over to IMDB and was shocked to see but a single user review. What???

After having watched two episodes, I can say that this show was a bit wobbly at first, but it really has the potential to go somewhere. Heck, I remember when Letterkenney started, and it was a little rough around the edges as well, and now every dingbat on Youtube is in love with that show.

The Trades is less about, you know, people working blue collar jobs than it is a modern-day sitcom. Besides Ricky, you've got McMurray from LetterKenny (playing a character named "Backwoods"), Tom "my bum is on your lips" Green as perhaps the most substance-addicted human being on the planet, and a full bench of deep talent. There's also a little CGI raccoon (Snax) who's only played a small part, but I think he'll get worked into future storylines.

Unfortunately, IMDB's listing is incomplete, and I can't remember the name of the character played by Jesse Comacho, but he's been absolutely stealing every scene he's been in. And I love all the character names of the cast, including "Taser." Last, but not least, the washroom and its detailed graffiti is a separate character in its own right, so props to whoever did the art on that.

Are you gonna guffaw with laughter at this show? No, at least not right now. But it's got that magical spark that Canadian shows like TPB and Letterkenny shared, so I think it'll gain a loyal following over time. And honestly, props to "Tater Todd" aka Robb Wells for looking a lot healthier and more fit than he did during his Ricky days. Genuinely a charismatic lead.

Tracker (2024– )

Watched 4 Episodes But More Disappointed Than Ever

[6/10 · 13 March 2024]

As many reviewers have said, this COULD be a great show. The first 10 minutes of the pilot show the protagonist finding a lost hiker deep in the wilderness. Okay, cool! That, to me, seems like what a tracker should do.

Unfortunately, that's all the "tracking" you're going to get. The rest is standard TV BS of a backup team of "cool weirdo" hackers pulling up data in 5 seconds that the cops couldn't even find with a warrant, instantly giving the protagonist all the info he needs to find the lost person in question.

Okay, I admit, in episode 4, there is some "tracking" but it's literally the protagonist shining his flashlight on a bootprint next to a giant bloodstain in the middle of a forest. Um, no offense, but even I could follow that track, and I grew up in cities all my life.

Frankly, the writers don't seem to know what they want this to be - is it a Reacher clone? Well, the protagonist mostly sucks at fighting and never kills anyone. Is it NCIS? Well, they are finding criminals, but mostly they get a pat on the back at the end and a "tsk tsk you naughty boy."

What even is this? Even poor "Reenie Green" (god what an awful name) can't spice this up with a little sexual banter. And Colter mostly looks like he's constipated as he spends his days driving around an enormous truck in order to ask witnesses one question, after which they just tell him literally everything he asks for.

Coulda been a contender. Instead, it's a yawn.

Beacon 23 (2023– )

Plot of the book COMPLETELY junked

[1/10 · 20 November 2023]

Quite literally, the only thing this "show" has in common with the book is a) it takes place on a Beacon numbered 23 and b) they both have the infamous (real) photo of a man in a lighthouse. That's it.

Literally everything is different - the names of the characters, the personalities and backstory, layout, plot, the AIs, EVERYTHING is just some made-up hokum conceived of by some very untalented writers. You know, the same folks who can't think of a name for magic, plot-centric rocks other than "rocks" that do nothing but clink around in a cheap net bag LOL

Nonsensical stuff abounds in this show, including a man who gets stabbed and then magically heals himself a moment later, a marauder who carries around a giant drill bit (that does nothing), the beacon sends out some kind of useless rotating light, a female AI who can somehow holographically project herself anywhere that the plot finds it convenient to do so, and some bizarro biological computer interlink that comes out of a guy's chest - WTF?

Meanwhile, everyone is spouting cryptic stuff about a company called QTA and some made-up agency called ISA, an AI that isn't supposed to be able to talk and yet does, and people magically enter airlocks while wearing spiky helmets. Sigh... the list goes on and on of how ridiculous this show is, including the kid in episode #2 who just calmly kills his mother for a handful of cash and the main character calmly killing her girlfriend in episode 3.

Sure... meanwhile, we're supposed to believe that something "mystical and spiritual" is connecting all of this together, VIA THE SPECIAL SUPER DUPER ROCKS, which, by the way, look like a cheap 1980s prop, oozing neon blue glow-in-the-dark juice.

The book had a tight, logical, and very touching human story. Why throw it all away for this crap? I'll never understand the modern TV landscape. And they did the exact same thing with the author's other story (Silo) over on another network. It's bananas on top of cuckoo craziness.

Avoid this show like the plague unless you think living on some sterile space station where it's always nighttime and people talking gibberish is your idea of cool.

The Dessert (2023– )

A bit rough, but there's real promise here

[7/10 · 10 July 2023]

For the record, I watched all six episodes before writing this review.

The first two episodes? Meh. But then the show started getting the hang of callback humor. By the end, the last two episodes had some truly LOL moments, and I was left wanting (a lot) more.

Unfortunately, a lot of the skits (excuse me, sketches!) suffer from the same disease as SNL - a funny set-up but totally unable to stick any sort of landing. And a couple of times (in the first two eps, especially), it truly felt like the actors were being broadcast live, as you could see their nervousness and rushed timing.

Luckily, there are a couple of truly deep pools of comedic talent that get explored, namely the correct use of CGI (the dinosaur sketch - solid gold and the clear winner!) and an adept blend of humor styles (Red Knight was funny precisely because of how unexpected it was) that played to the writers/casts' strengths (the in-jokes about the comedy world and Canada-isms were particularly strong).

Overall, I'd recommend that the producers CUT the budget and concentrate more on forcing this show to be funny on a shoestring (similar to KITH) rather than getting too comfortable with expensive sets and outdoor filming locations.

Final conclusion? I definitely believe this show can find its groove if given another season (or more) and grow and mature into a legendary comedy show.

12 Monkeys (2015–2018)

A surprisingly strong Sci-FI show worth watching

[9/10 · 14 June 2023]

12 Monkeys is perhaps the most misleading show in modern television.

In Season 1, it starts out fairly formulaic, with a lot of baggage inherited from the blockbuster movie of the same name. But over time, as the show grows, you start to realize that there's a deep genius at play.

It's a bit hard to see, at first, as new elements and characters (some with silly names) get thrown into the mix, sometimes seeming like the writers are winging everything, but yet there's a truly profound element that only reveals itself with a tiny bit of patience and dedication on the viewer's part.

By the time the final episode of the final season over, you'll be crying from the heartbreak of saying goodbye to these once-superficial characters who have transformed into perhaps the most tragic souls ever depicted in modern media.

A huge congratulations to the producers and directors, to say nothing of the fine cinematography and some outstanding acting performances.

This show will never be included in any lists of "golden ages" of television, but its mark will be felt deeply by the viewer for many years to come.

Virgin (2022– )

Couldn't finish the first episode

[7/10 · 12 April 2023]

I'm always on the lookout for something new and interesting to watch, but this show just isn't my cup of tea. Maybe a younger person with more familiarity with Indonesian dramas might pick it up, but I just couldn't figure out the rhythm.

Starts out (first 60 seconds, so not a spoiler here) with the suicide of a young female student at an exclusive high school, and the "plot" is supposed to be her fellow students trying to figure out why someone so rich and popular would kill herself.

Unfortunately, I kept getting distracted by just how insanely wealthy these kids are, to the point where they're always yelling at their "maids" who are basically house slaves and just generally being selfish little pricks.

Secondly, none of the teens seem particularly sad or even distraught about their friend's suicide, even a female character whose parent(s) had died in a similar way (years earlier).

Indeed, except for the mother of the dead girl, everybody in this show is acting like the suicide is just a bit of light entertainment, with lots of joking around and silly stunts and getting excited about parties and taking Instagram selfies.

Third, the father of the dead girl is possibly the worst actor I've ever seen. All he does is shout and yell with no compassion or feelings about his family being destroyed in front of his very eyes.

For all these reasons, I simply just couldn't be bothered to care enough what the "mystery" was behind the suicide.

Inside (I) (2023)

Could've been a contender

[7/10 · 6 April 2023]

Obviously, Dafoe has some serious acting chops, but a few key mistakes transformed this from what could've been a truly amazing movie to a bland bowl of treacly nonsense.

1) The ending - What? No catharsis, whatsoever? Not even a shot of Dafoe hoisting his grimy, bandaged leg out of the skylight? How did he get rescued? What was it like to breathe fresh air again? Did he see Jasmine or the doorman? Etc, etc, etc.

2) The many many helicopters - We see Dafoe drinking on New Year's Eve and watching fireworks explode everywhere across the city, yet there's no sound inside the apartment (which makes sense). But over and over again at different times, we hear helicopters flying past. Why? This led to absolutely nothing. Was it supposed to make us think his "buddies" were going to come rescue him?

3) The cut-off utilities - Why would a mega wealthy man keep the lights and electricity on but not the phone and water when he's out of town? And why was the sprinkler system AND the aquariums supplied with water but not the rest of the apartment (including the toilet and possibly an automatic icemaker)? It's not like paying the bills is a problem for the owner, so this makes zero sense. Even odder is the cutting off of the landline. Who would do that? It takes days if not weeks to get a phone line reconnected, even if you're rich.

4) The crazy HVAC system - Okay, smashing the fancy smart control panel and this causing a malfunction to overheat the apartment made sense, narratively. It also heightened the dramatic tension over the lack of water for Dafoe. But there was ZERO point in the subsequent "switch to ultra-cold" and then back to hot again. Total waste of narrative energy.

5) The f---ing pigeons - Over and over again, we see shots of pigeons on the balcony, and this makes it seem like they're going to play a role in the story. Will the starving Dafoe eat the dead pigeon? Will the live pigeon somehow deliver a message to his "friend" in the park? Nope. Literally nothing ever happens with the pigeons.

Speaking of which, I'd have to rewatch the movie (which I refuse to do), but it makes about zero sense for a millionaire with a penthouse apartment to have a balcony that YOU CANNOT GET TO. Who builds a place that?

6) Also, who the heck sets up a super complex operation to hack into an apartment security system and drop someone off onto a skyscraper with a helicopter in order to heist some artwork and then goes "uh oh, you're on your own" two seconds later? And then never even once tries to get Dafoe out (via Jasmine or some other way)? Utterly baffling who these "colleagues" of his were or why they're using a friggin' CB radio, etc, etc. The entire "heist" was frustratingly unexplained from beginning to finish.

Other than the above, I can accept some of the goofiness (the line about the 3 things to save from a fire, etc) and the weird art on the walls and the inexplicable rubber dummy in the creepy narrow hidden passage and all the bizarro dreams Dafoe has, etc. But this movie keeps building narrative tension only to let it deflate into nothingness.

Honestly, whoever wrote the script for this movie should be taken out behind the barn and put out of their misery. Because all the greatest acting in the world can't save the crappy writing.

Life by Ella (2022)

Extremely trite and unoriginal

[2/10 · 28 September 2022]

This is an Apple exclusive show, but it feels like a throwaway Friday night "comedy" for ABC or a channel with the word "Family" in it. Literally every line feels like it's a scripted "punch line" that's missing its canned laugh track.

The premise has some promise, but the characters are flat, and the acting is wooden and sterile. Everything feels artificial, even the (genuinely) outdoor shots, and there's zero chemistry between the lead and her "best friend," who mostly serves as a servile dupe. Some of the dialogue thinks its being "brave" but it's all extremely trite and unoriginal. Lastly, the protagonist of this show, a girl who survived cancer, seems to be more focused on being a self-righteous a---hole rather than learning gratitude or doing some introspection.

About the only positive thing I can say about this show is that the studio lighting is nice and bright, and all the actors' clothing is clean and in good condition.

Overlord and the Underwoods (2021– )

It's a crime this show isn't popular

[10/10 · 14 June 2022]

First, let me say that a) I'm not Canadian and b) I didn't watch this show with kids. Nonetheless, I think this is easily the finest show I've watched all year.

Yah, on the surface of things, this appears to be a dumb sitcom about a suburban family with a "wacky" space alien living with them, similar to ALF or Harry and the Hendersons. But that's about where the similarity ends.

What separates this show is that the writers did a SUPERB job on making sure that every plot point actually matters. There are no throwaway "B plots" or sight gags - everything is tied to the story, even when it might not immediately seem otherwise.

In case the actors ever read this, yes, you did a good job, especially the two kids. But the writers are the true gold in this show and definitely deserve money, praise, and recognition for showing that it IS still possible to write tight, coherent scripts.

Lastly, there is no "woke" garbage in this show or plot lines to "send a message" about the injustices of the world. This show instead concentrates on bringing the laughs and exploring the everyday mundane aspects of life in a funny way.