hanslanda37 Reviews

Barbarian (2022)

They had it.. then lost it.

[3/10 · 15 November 2022]

All things considered before I get into the problems of this movie.. I'm glad they didn't reveal much in the trailer. This is a lost art and it considerably made this movie more suspenseful.

That being said, this movie is a disaster. I'll go so far to say that the first twenty minutes of this film is INCREDIBLE. It has a clever Psycho vibe without trying to blatantly rip it off. The movie then proceeds to blatantly rip off every terrible horror movie ever made in the second half. My positive note about the movie being unpredictable and not revealing much? Yeah, kind of its downfall too. Unpredictable being that it felt like 20 different writers worked on this and nobody thought of establishing a back story or rules. It's just atrocious.

A 3 seems VERY high but the first twenty minutes is so good that I'm willing to bump it from being a 1. That's a tribute to the actors involved. Should have just stuck with that concept.

Monster (2022–2024)

Nothing New

[2/10 · 29 September 2022]

It's the same Dahmer dreck you've seen 100 times before. You watch anything from Ryan Murphy? You watch the same Dahmer stuff over and over again? Then you know what you're getting into, except it's NINE HOURS long. Seeing these reviews that the "cinematography is exquisite" makes me laugh. These people wouldn't know good from bad CinEmAtOgRapHy if it bit them on the behind. This country's fascination with these terrible people will never cease to amaze me. Why does this need to be told? AGAIN? Yeah, let's keep making these families relive the absolute terror they went through so Evan Peters can WiN aLl tHe AwRdS.

Richard Jenkins is a phenomenal actor and he's the sole reason why this doesn't get a 1/10.

Prey (I) (2022)

Example A Why Digital is Trash

[2/10 · 11 August 2022]

This movie looks like you're watching a cutscene on PS4. Oh yeah.. the characters are lame, the "predator" is a complete joke, and it's nearly insufferable if not for a few cool shots that they stole from RDR2. How about just putting the dagger in this hopeless franchise? I will never understand how this clunky CGI on digital is appealing to ANYONE, especially after watching something that clearly looked better 35 years ago.

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021)

Entertaining, but not in the way you'd think.

[1/10 · 19 March 2021]

The REAL detective stuff is okay, but the entertaining portion of the series are these TMZ wannabe pseudo-detectives, what they call "web sleuths." You won't see a better display of self-importance and delusion than in this piece of work. Netflix, naturally, treated these people as serious investigators, rather than basement dwelling dorks playing detective. Would be funny if it wasn't so sad.