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LiamBlackburn
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Entertainment (2015)
Entertainment
What is entertainment? What possesses someone to want to entertain? Life can grind us down to the bone. It can buoy us at a special moment. We are in a constant battle against the stark reality of a barren world. A world full of sand. Sand and hills. Anima and Animus. The energy needed to move the seemingly immovable object is at a premium. Skeletons of aeroplanes, littered amongst the dunes. Lime green and tanned yellow walls. Colours affect our perception. Death and rebirth all in one day. A fly. Stuck to the wall. Hanging around. What's the point of even trying. To make any of you laugh. Do you even know what it takes to put on a show like this?!
The Phoenix Incident (2015)
This was a good one.
This was a good one. Haven't seen a good UFO movie in a while. I like the way they mingled the real story with the movie story line. The acting was good. The aliens were'nt that interesting, but they weren't silly or anything. The alien ships were really good, and the scenes with the fighter jets flying over the desert and helicopters were really good. This movie could easily fly under the radar. The execution of the complex scenes was done really well. People need to respect this movie. It wasn't a full-fledge FF but it still worked the way they made it. They also included actual footage which was cool. 8/10 on a FF horror movie rating.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Watch The Rover if you want a good post-apocalyptic thriller
I had to watch this twice....OK, maybe 1.5 times....Couldn't quite get through it the second time. The entire movie is so incredibly confusing and nonsensical. I almost began to admire it in its confusing-ness, until I realized that it is just one long bore-fest. There is nothing cool going on here; no "underlying tapestry of cinematic silk". The movie looks good. But that's about it. The desert scenery is really nice. The approaching sandstorm scene is really epic. It was scenes like that which made me have to try watching it again. The problem is that the characters are completely boring. Then there's this ongoing story about milk and and these girls with chastity belts.....really?? huh?? They try and find a land that is green and not desert. Woah. Really? That's the whole movie. Then they keep talking about Valhalla, and there's that silly guy with the guitar that shoots fire. Lol. And these guys keep spraying their face with silver hair spray....is that getting them high? I have no idea why anyone would enjoy this movie. So silly. If you want to a real movie about a post apocalyptic world then watch....The Rover
Terminator Genisys (2015)
And.......it's a 2 out of 10
This is bad...really bad. I mean really....really bad. Why make this movie.....with these actors.......it's a cacophony of cinematic cotton candy. High on sugar...and low on anything nutritious. Make sure you eat your Cheerios before this one, because it will leave you with an empty stomach and a headache. This flick doesn't even come close to being "sort of" OK. The movie is beyond ridiculous. The part where the guy has to get naked to go into the time machine...with his parts hanging out for everyone to see.....they're all just looking in awe at this naked dude...as though it's supposed to be some majestic moment. Lol. This is awful. The entire staging of that scene is incredibly silly. That actor has to be one of the most annoying ones I can think of. Besides the guy who played the sniper in that recent sniper movie. He is worse. Well...it's a 2 out of ten (instead of 1) because the special effects were OK.
Chappie (2015)
Chappie the blank slate
I have to admit that about a third of the way through this, I started to get really annoyed with overplayed "gangster" characters. It started to make the movie look juvenile and silly. It almost looked like it was going to tailspin into a cinematic oblivion of "juvenile Disney movie thuggery" (best description I can think of) as Chappie learns how to rap and throw ninja stars (facepalm). You start to question why the director would let the gangster characters continue to become even more outlandishly silly and over-the-top. Then, you are refreshingly reminded of the first thing that "Daddy" taught Chappie which was not to harm others or commit crimes. Luckily, for the movie's sake, a conscious viewer can begin to understand the imagery and story-telling that is taking place. We can then choose to see a character (in Chappie) as the embodiment of all SA children. Chappie (like the SA children) are born with a "blank slate" mind into a world of thugs and guns and crime. This then begins to have a profound cerebral effect on you as you follow Chappie's character development onward. I think it will be easy to write this movie off based on how silly the characters are. They are incredibly over-the-top, but I guess that is the whole idea. To show how stupid thugs look and to highlight their chaotic behaviour.
Area 51 (2015)
Extremely satisfying
See when you're dealing with aliens, you just don't know what to expect. They could teleport or take over your mind. They can shapeshift, or time travel. We think we are cutting edge because we've finally learned how to isolate individual electrons. We think we're advanced because we've created Qbits. False. Our reality is actually most likely a simulation. The simulation is being created holographically by an extra-dimensional alien race. I think this movie did very well in showing what Area 51 could actually look like. We'll never get to see it in real life so the fact that they made this movie was pretty awesome. It gave a really amazing glimpse into what it could look like. The directing and acting was great. This is real Sci Fi.
Ex Machina (2014)
Mehhh, didn't expect much, didn't get much
Saw the trailer and was very underwhelmed. Again, with this guy, from two faces of January.....he was half decent in that but only because of the LOTR guy. The LOTR guy is a boss at acting. This other guy, no not so much. Same issue with that 80s crime drama, he simply can't nail down a character. I believe it's his physical attributes...he is getting completely miscast in these roles. He should be cast as like a cowardly henchman in a minor role. Instead he keeps getting these main roles lol. Anyway, the other main actor in this movie was extremely boring. Completely surface-level. And the main android chick...mehhh, she was an android....but she played it like a human...the movie was basically borderline chick-flick ah la other movie that was called sci fi with the guy from the village in it....with the scar on his lip. These aren't sci fi movies give me a break. The entire movie revolves around using google search data to make an android brain?...facepalm..It's really a 4/10 but the visuals were nice so it gets a D- 5/10
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
Age of overabundant unfunny one-liners-Tron
This movie begins with a huge action sequence that involves all of the main hero characters. This sequence sees them blow up tanks and people as they attack an enemy base. Every three seconds, someone cracks something resembling a ---joke?----lest we forget that a real joke involves something done/said that was, in some way, funny. One-liner jokes require a proper timeline and space within a dramatic/satirical context for them to be effectively funny. They require acute direction/writing to generate genuine laughter from the audience. Instead, we get an unfunny "line", being recited by an unfunny person, to an audience that forces itself to laugh, because they think they are supposed to. How many silly unfunny one-liners can you jam into an over-played over-indulgent opening action sequence? Watch...Age of Ultron..(lol)....to find out! The downfall of this movie lies specifically on the director/writer. Who, for some reason, tried to cram an entire movies- worth of action and one-liners into the opening 3 minutes of a movie. The most salient problems in this movie are: it's not funny; it's totally over-indulgent; the characters lack cohesion etc. I pity the person who walks into this movie hoping for anything more than surface-level 3d effects.
Always Watching: A Marble Hornets Story (2015)
Way too scary!!!!
Oh No....There's a guy in the camera, and he keeps popping in and out of view. He is like a poltergeist who haunts video cameras. Then he leaves these cult marks on people's skin to show that he has claimed them to haunt. He is like a demon, but also a ghost, and also a spook. The moments of suspense are too much to take. The ghost is too scary to actually look at the screen. He is just a guy in a suit....but he has like no face or something....There's something mysterious. But, the camera guy, he secretly follows the girl around and stalks her. Then he says he loves her. Then there is this guy in the camera...but the guy takes his camera everywhere...it's connected I think.
Backcountry (2014)
What is that outside the tent?
Really? You want me to be scared of....a black bear....That's like 5 feet tall? Really? I was intrigued when there was this ominous presence poking around outside the tent. It was really scary...I thought...hmmm....this could be Bigfoot...or even aliens....There would have been a really frightening plot twist. Instead...we get Jerry the Black bear, with red food colouring on his mouth, trying to look really menacing and scary. This was a good horror movie..the kill scene was really cool, when his face had been half- mauled off lol. Oh boy. Then there was the creepy Irish guy. He only popped back into the movie right at the end....what was the point of having such a long character introspection at the start with him if he literally had no effect on the plot....hmmmm. So this movie is good on a horror-rating basis....But it needed something more scary than a little black bear.
Walter (2015)
What is it
What is it.... A comedy?.... Or a drama....pick one. Instead of being one or the other, this ends up being a swing-and-miss by trying to be both. The beginning started out really wishy-washy, but had some funny lines. Even though it began with a funeral scene, you thought that maybe it would grow into an entertaining light hearted funny movie. From death comes rebirth and new life. This did not happen. It started to become more and more dramatic, whilst repeatedly trying to infuse more ill-timed humour here and there. The plot was so obvious about halfway through. The ghost was obviously connected to his own life somehow. Then, if it wasn't enough, the Doctor literally tells us, what the entire problem of the protagonist was---that he didn't grieve. Sometimes it's best to let the audience figure that stuff out by themselves. The movie wasn't serious enough to be a drama, nor was it funny enough to be a comedy. This leaves it in perpetual limbo, much like the existence of the ghost character.
Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)
Wow!
This was an epic tail full of much enchantment and mystery. I'm telling you, this movie had everything! First....God shows his true form----he's a little child! I never would've guessed! Then there is a cranky, somewhat whiny, petulant Prince named Ramses, who loves to hang his slaves for fun. His quasi brother Moshee, was always looking out for him and always seemed to go that extra mile for the empire. Moshee is quick to take up arms on behalf of his kingdom when danger lurks outside the gates. He mercilessly slaughters all those who pose a threat to his King. Anyway, the rivers end up turning red and all the Aristocracy end up developing some seriously allergies to the pollen. The seasons change and God gets angry. Then all these crocodiles start eating everything that moves. There's also lots of mean insects and hail.
Faults (2014)
All he has to do is walk through the door.
He writes his book on how to protect yourself from becoming entranced by mind controlling cults. He constantly preaches to others how everyone has freewill. He falsely believes he has freewill. He is under mind control from his other self. His other self is trapping him in this solid state. He exploits this other girl from his past, to further his own illusive reality. These new people come to him with a problem. Their problem is not real. It is an illusion created by their minds. They create a false reality which is actually being governed by someone else's. At first, he is confused, then scared..but then it becomes clear to him. Claire. Clear. Clarity. All he has to do accept his guilt. All he has to do is walk through the door. All you have to do is walk through that door. Unlock it.
Black Sea (2014)
Lol what?
Who is taking this seriously? I mean, as a movie? Who can actually sit and watch this, and be entertained or excited by it. The main guy's Scottish accent is laughably bad. At first he sounded Russian, then he just sounded like a bad actor trying to do a Scottish accent. The first few scenes are a jumbled mess. This needs to be called out as a very poor movie. I'm sorry. One of the positives is the way it looked. I liked the filming. But wait...seriously? How many times does he have to say "Aye"......it doesn't matter, because he doesn't sound like a Scottish man. The first few scenes are smashed together. The plot opens within about 3 minutes. It's just too quick. Guy gets fired from submarine job. Then somehow his other submarine guy knows about a sunken Russian submarine that has gold bars in it? Lol....no.
The Water Diviner (2014)
Don't invade a country if you don't know where it is?
He feels the presence of water under the earth and digs for it. Water is essential to human life. Humans are made of water...and salt. Just like the salt of the earth, water is hidden in inside it. He feels the presence of his son just like the water. Perhaps his son is hiding from his past. He can't face what he left behind. The horrors of war were too much. Laying by his dying brothers...having to shoot him in the head to end his pain. The source of life. Sustenance. It all seems a bit dramatic. Trying to navigate this world. Humans fighting over silly things like water..and resources. In the end, he finds his son. His only surviving son. Life. Water. Rebirth. Plus...he gets the hot Arabian woman--too bad he will have to deal with that annoying suitcase-stealing kid all the time now though!
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Jupiter hates her life
She says so about 5 or 6 times in the opening scenes. Her days consist of doing cleaning work inside large buildings and hotels. Her friend is better off than her and has apparently met her knight in shining armour. Her friend is really nervous about this. Jupiter witnesses her friend being molested by aliens one day and captures it on her i- phone. Jupiter does not really act surprised by this alien encounter. She knows that the aliens would never be interested in her any way. No one cares about her. One day her brother convinces her to sell her eggs so she can buy a telescope. Instead of taking her eggs, the doctors are actually aliens who've come to kill her. Presumably because she said how much she hated her life. Whoever sent the alien assassins must've thought he was doing Jupiter a favour. In the end, in fact, we do learn that he just wanted to do her favour. He also wanted to destroy all the other humans on the Earth by harvesting all their genetics. But it was purely for business reasons.
Scintilla (2014)
Just eat the sandwich
I think that's the best scene where the alien escapes over the wall and he looks in his coat-pocket and finds a sandwich. The recurring sandwich that seems so out of place in the beginning. Here is this special forces guy on a huge underground mission and he takes out a lunch bag with a sandwich in it. It looks bizarre at that early point in the movie. It makes you question the seriousness of the forthcoming scenes. Once you get immersed in this cavernous thriller, you soon realize that the sandwich is actually the symbol of normality. Amongst the completely crazy action, the sandwich creates this release of tension and makes you laugh. The alien hybrids looked insane woah. I was seriously freaked out lol. This is a great sci-fi movie. It could be horror also.
All the Wilderness (2014)
Trying to understand why
Imagine watching your father jump off a bridge? Woah. That would mess you up pretty good. He keeps drawing pictures of dead animals. To capture them in time. To freeze time in that moment of death. He wanted to understand why his dad would kill himself. Especially when he says stuff like "the wilderness is inside of all of us". This is could be chaos or serenity. The kid tried to understand this message that was passed down to him. In the end, he realizes that he is not like his dad. He chooses to stop living in his cursed life any more. He said his life was cursed. That he could see when people would die. Well, he actually literally saw his dad die. So he meant that he could tell when his dad was going to die. He sensed the inner torment, the wilderness, inside of his dad. He projected that onto his outside world. To try and find some answers he had to become close with death, and to try and understand it at a young age.
Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer's Curse (2015)
A Knight is Sworn to Valour
This was really well done. Gives you everything it should as a Arthurian fantasy movie. It had its corny moments, but that is what gives these movies their charm. You can easily miss the expertly interwoven story by simply focusing on the action scenes or the dragon magic. There is also a realistic amount of blood and killing. The atmosphere of late Roman Britannia is captured perfectly. You see the greedy senselessness of the Roman legions. You see the spirituality of the Druids. You see the poverty of the Romanized Britons. You see the anger and resentment that lies between the Picts and the Southerners. The storyline is straightforward but it also has good depth and character development. The only issue I had was that, with so many night scenes, they could've been lit more. It was hard on my eyes.
Wild Card (2015)
Corsica
I liked the cheesy mafia henchmen and the DeMarco Junior lol, he was hilarious. Baby, and DeMarco were funny. Do you really need a twisty intelligent plot to enjoy a movie? The answer is a simple one. No. I felt like the Las Vegas vibe was captured well in this movie. The Wild Card was having a serious gambling problem. He kept having what seemed to be serious flashbacks/flashforwards about sailing on this boat somewhere. This was his serenity place. Amidst the craziness of Las Vegas....this ex-military guy would like the craziness aspect. The black racist cleaning lady was funny too. Reminded me of Revolver at certain times.
Little Accidents (2014)
Slutty cheerleader mom vs Lower class miners
This could be the title. Although this title would seem a bit trite. It would still be accurate. There are several unfortunate little accidents in this tale. The first involves the mine collapsing on top of the 11 miners. At least, this is called an accident on the surface.......lol...Sorry I couldn't resist. But once you get to the...bottom...of the matter...you learn that Management's tale was definitely not very sturdy....It's difficult to identify the protagonist of the story at first, but you ultimately settle on Jenkins. He was the only one who survived the "accident". He does get some action from the slutty cheerleader Mom, whose son died in the first five minutes...Any way, it's a sad story all around. Working in a mine can be very...dreary....
A Most Violent Year (2014)
Inconsistent
The movie was watchable but the main truck guy, he was like, not really believable....or he didn't fit that part very well. Plus, what was with that same silly yellow overcoat he kept wearing? WHat the? He looked like Dick Tracy. But an Italian Dick Tracy, who ran a small-time oil business. The whole impact of what was going on to him and his family, it just didn't seem to be really happening....like was that the type of guy he was trying to play? A guy who doesn't accept failure? But he always tries to be the clean guy? Never be crooked....? Yet he acts completely stoic when his kids are playing with a loaded gun? What? It just wasn't congruent....like who is the character? Is the character a man with a conscience? A good clean man with principles? Yet he shows no emotion from events like that......I just don't think that character was very acceptable. It needed to be more consistent...the character didn't feel like the lines he was saying. Plus the silly gatekeepers is just farcical. Plus it wasn't very violent....The wife played a way better role.
Preservation (2014)
This is what happens when you
This is what happens when you break bottles and litter in a conservation area. Bad things. Really bad things. Things that will make you seriously regret littering. Things like getting shot at. Stabbed. Punched in the face. Kicked in the face. Stabbed...Did I mention stabbed? You will also get your camping gear stolen. Your water. Keys...Then, all the Xs you marked to find your way home will be painted over or erased...This will cause you to wander aimlessly in the forest for several hours before complete exhaustion kicks in...Oh wait, yes, your dog!! Your dog will be gutted and hung from a tree. Seriously....think before you litter.
Predestination (2014)
Paradox
They created each other, it's like a broken record playing again and again. The paradox is that his former self creates his future self, but at the same time....his future self creates his former self. I liked this is movie a lot. It started off somewhat slow....BUt the last half of the movie just blows by and it's really intense. I have to admit I couldn't completely follow it, it was a bit too complex with all the time changing. I did get the whole paradox aspect which was achieved very congruently. Yea you can be snobby about the little box that lets you time travel. This is a sci fi flick though, it's about crazy stuff like that. It doesn't have to be explained. It's the paradox that matters.
Nightcrawler (2014)
If it bleeds it leads
Indeeds......Yes indeed. Lou is the perfect embodiment of the modern media. The modern media is like a group of vultures waiting with baited breath to snack on the controlled chaos that emanates from our societies. The News loves crime and death. Traffic accidents are candied apples with caramel coating. Home invasions are creamy cupcakes with jelly centres. You want to like Lou, the main character, you want to see him succeed in his quest of running his own business. This is not possible though. Whenever you think he might do something redeemable...he finds a way to sink even lower. It's like he has absolutely no conscience whatsoever. It's like he has no values, ethics or morals. It's like.....it's like all he cares about is ratings.