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Nic na sile (2024)
Feels like rural propaganda
In an apparent attempt to rectify declining birthrates, this film rips our main character from her hopes and dreams - a strong, independent, talented single woman - and forces her to return to her rural home to tend to her late grandmother's land, where she'll fall in love with the farmhand and drop everything she worked for in in the big city for the sake of making cheese and, probably, babies.
Bar that, it's actually quite fun and light-hearted. The cinematography is good, as is the script and the acting, so someone less cynical than I may just enjoy it for its topline pleasures - the lead characters and rural setting are pleasant enough on the eye to pass a couple of hours.
However, it does feel like it was released at least 2 decades late, and feels a bit strange to see in 2024. I realise it's a light-hearted romcom, but I feel it could have at least a little more antagonism in the decision to stay or leave her career behind. Anyway, each to their own, if I was watching again, I'd be glad I read this review so to prepare myself not to take it too seriously and enjoy it for it's fluffy, good-looking self.
Forst (2024)
Hilariously unoriginal, but reasonably entertaining
The plot is borderline parodic in its lack of originality - it's like if you asked a class full of people taking a creative writing course to pen a crime thriller and then had the team from the Zakopane tourism board edit the script.
Reclusive protagonist with a questionable past, a drug problem and a lack of respect for the rules, who also happens to have slept with every female character? Tick.
Bad guy with an eye patch who used to be a Nazi? Tick.
Snowy, moody backdrop? Tick.
Angry boss who locks horns with his subordinate at every chance? Tick.
However, if you get past that, it's actually well made; the cinematography is of a high quality and the acting is solid. Even the script is alright, which is saying something considering the plot on which it had to hang.
There is actually a reasonably good twist at the end, which would mean we'd be in for a second series if it wasn't on Netflix - seeing the reviews here, it'll definitely get canned before they have a chance to wrap it up, which is a bit of a shame. I must say, I am surprised at the amount of reviews here suggesting it's a poor ending - I actually thought the series improved (slightly) as it went and the finale was just as good as anything else you watch before that point; perhaps some people didn't like the fact it ended on a cliff-hanger? Either that, or I've misinterpreted the ending as a cliff-hanger, and it is indeed an astronomically nonsensical 'deus ex machina' ending. However, I suspect I am correct on this one and it was really intended to keep us guessing into the second series.
Anyway, if you're after something to kill the time and you fancy looking at cutscenes of the Tatra mountains, then give it a go. If not, I wouldn't worry about missing it.
This Is Going to Hurt (2022)
Flawless
I've got no reason not to give this full marks. It's as good as television can get. Funny, heart-wrenching, well acted, well shot, well written, not overly-long nor too short. It's perfect.
I'd not read the book before watching but my partner bought it a while ago and enjoyed it. Immediately after watching this I clambered to the bookshelf to read it myself. Having now finished it, I can confidently say I feel the TV show is the better of the two. The book may be better at illustrating the sheer toil of the job better, but the TV show really brings to life the excruciating drama.
I can't recommend this enough.
Tár (2022)
Wish I knew what I was in for
Tar has stayed with me longer than any film I can remember seeing for the past few months and because of this, I can't help but feel that a second or third viewing might encourage me to increase my score of 7/10 here. I also can't wait for that second viewing because I was completely wrong about what sort of film this was...
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Like most people, I'm usually of the position that one should know as little as possible about a film before viewing it, but in the case of Tar, I left the theatre wishing I knew at least more about what *sort* of film it would be before I watched it - that's perhaps on me, but still.
I'm a big fan of music and have recently become very interested in classical music in particular, so when I saw the trailer and poster for Tar, I thought that it couldn't be further up my street (not least because Cate Blanchett was leading it).
So when I entered the cinema, I expected it to be more of a biopic of a famed female conductor achieving her swansong, albeit through the inevitable trials and tribulations of trying to reach such an achievement. But I couldn't really have been further from the truth. I've actually just listened to an interview with Blanchett who said just as much: "It could have been a film about an architect or a banker, though that would have been a bit boring!"
So now I know it's more about the *person* rather than the occupation, the film starts to become much more enticing. But having only realised that *after* watching it, I'm left in the position of wanting to watch it through another lens to fully appreciate it - which I'm very much looking forward to.
Simon Schama's History of Now (2022)
Schama Strikes Again
I was brought to tears in the first episode, and by the end of the third, I was left wanting more.
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I'd first come to know Sir Simon's work with his series "Civilisation". I usually consider myself a bit of a science nerd and that would be my go-to genre for a documentary, but Civilisations is, frankly, the best documentary series I've ever watched. So, you can see why I was compelled to watch his latest series!
The first episode was so powerful and it was so refreshing to remind me of those that had come before and the sacrifices they had made for social progression.
The second was a love story to equality, something people have striven for for decades, but may now be under threat again.
And the final episode reminded us of the future, and that we have people around us, right now, doing amazing things.
I'd give this a 10 if it was slightly longer, and I'd personally have liked to have seen how this impacted Schama's life even more, though this is covered well throughout anyway.
Can't wait for his next series, whenever it comes, no matter what it's about.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
A very, very generous 5
Visually outstanding, especially for a TV series, but of course it is, they've spent a billion on it. If you have no idea of any of the previous work (the books and the films) you may enjoy this as a visually impressive fantasy romp.
But what are TV series but visual stories, and this thing lacks any form of plot whatsoever. There are full episodes in which nothing happens; even the editing tells you they're struggling to figure out how to fill 5 seasons of content with every character close up leaving us staring at their face a couple of seconds too long.
The acting across the board is absolutely dreadful, particularly that of Morfydd Clark's Galadriel. Of course, the various directors should take some of this hit, but in the end, it's the actors' body language and delivery we're witnessing. The only saving graces are the Dwarves and a couple of the Harfoots.
To cut the actors some slack, the script they had to work with was even worse; the entire series wreaks of 'Americanisation'. The script isn't far off Disney at times, by which I mean they speak in fluent "live, laugh, love" language - fluff that doesn't mean anything to anyone, least of all the viewer.
Any scene involving Númenor or any of the Númenorians is absolutely dreadful; easily the worst part of the series. Even the striking visualisations can't save it, partly due to the reuse of some properly naff sets (how many times did they use that alleyway where Halbrand had a bust up?).
I'm giving it a 5 because my love of the LOTR refuses to believe it'll be this bad forever. I just hope I'm right.
Derry Girls (2018)
Wish there was more
Derry Girls is one of the best written British comedies of the 21st century so far - easily up there with The Inbetweeners etc. Have to be honest, the only downfall is that it's too short!
Final episode skips forward a year, I'd have happily have sat through another year of episodes of this.
Anyway, nae bother. Fantastic stuff, couldn't recommend enough.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Insulting
My first 1 star review.
Got to the bit where he pets the machine and it purrs before grabbing my coat and leaving. Genuinely quite proud of myself for getting that far in.
If you appreciated anything about the first three films, or even just the first one, then do yourself a favour and pretend this one doesn't exist.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Don't go overboard
From the critics who are canning it, to the non-pros that feel like it's the most eye-opening piece of cinema ever, I think everyone just needs to calm down.
My partner put it well when mentioning that the humour throughout dilutes the more serious points its trying to make - in McKay terms, think of the humour in The Other Guys being shoehorned into the drama of The Big Short - and I couldn't agree more. I personally would've found this much more hard hitting (or hard hitting at all, for that matter) if it was closer, tonally, to 'Vice' than a Taladega Nights.
Just to be clear, I do like this film. It's funny throughout, and the acting and cast are great. I particularly enjoyed the performances of Lawrence as passionate, 'done with it' millennial, Rylance's creepy, high-pitched billionaire, and Chamalet's sk8r dude. I really did laugh quite a lot, and Jonah Hill is largely the reason for this.
But yeah, I wouldn't go in with too high or low an expectation of this - it's good, but as far as political satire goes, it's humour is more slapstick than the grotesque brilliance of the aforementioned Vice/Big Short, or Armando Iannucci's The Death Of Stalin.
Last Christmas (2019)
IMDB is fundamentally flawed
People giving a film like this 8, 9, or even an astonishing 10 out of 10, is why platforms like IMDB are fundamentally flawed.
This is a terrible film, but what I'm more concerned about is how anyone anywhere can give a film of this calibre an actual 10. 10 implies utter perfection. Cast, filmography, make up and costume design, score, script, performance, and everything else - all absolutely perfectly created and executed. You categorically *cannot* say that about a film like this.
In fact, you cannot say that about most films. Of course opinions can differ, but I'd suggest there may be 3-5 actual 10 rated films that come out in a person's entire lifetime.
So imagine my horror when I look to the reviews of this one and see actual 10s. And not just one or two. This suggests that Last Christmas is one of the best films some people have seen in their entire lifetimes? You've got to be joking.
Serendipity (2001)
Dated, expendable-current-relationship-y, fluff
Due to the recent popularity rise on IMDB, it looks like this was just added to Netflix, and 20 years after initial release, the datedness of a lot of the reviews here is telling. I mean, I don't think you'd see 8/9/10 stars and "pure romance" for a film that revolves around two people cheating on their respective partners in 2021, for a start...
I think the pacing is a bit crazy - 5 minutes in they've met, had a romantic date at a cafe, and admitted they find each other attractive, and the inconvenience that they already have partners (that they are quite deeply involved with and seem to not have any relationship issues with).
Next thing, he's drawing on her arm in a park and we're only 15 minutes in. Cusack's intensiveness doesn't help matters, as it feels like everything he's doing, he's doing because if he goes any slower the bus he's on will explode...
I genuinely think 10 minutes at the start to introduce the original couples and at least nudging towards some relationship issues they're having might help things, but it is what it is.
The rest continues as a cat and mouse-type chase until the expected eventually happens. Meh, good for them, snow in Manhattan, blah, blah, whatever.
I absolutely don't hate this film; it's easy-going, unrealistic fluff, with a great cast, and if you're looking for something easy to watch while the weather outside is frightful, then why not stick it on?
No Time to Die (2021)
No Time To... Oh...
Difficult to properly evaluate this one without spoilers really...
From a plot point of view, I can't help but feel this era of Bond peaked at Spectre - or even Skyfall - whereby, if they finished Craig's tenure after either of those films, they could've pushed the revolving door for Craig to depart and another bond to slot into place. As much as Spectre had the 'Big Final Boss (probably)' element to it - which I wasn't too keen on, but, you know, Christoph Waltz - it finished in such a way that Bond could have blissfully continued forever more, as he has done for near-on six decades. But clearly those in charge had other thoughts.
I'll start with critique and move onto good bits:
Firstly, the characters. Two of the pillars of any Bond movie, the baddie and the girl, aren't even the best ones featured in this film: the lead baddie (Malek) and lead Bond girl (Seydoux) are completely overshadowed by Waltz and de Armas, respectively. The lack of Bond's ability to move on from Vesper's death only damaging the under-par repertoire between Bond and Madeleine further.
A testament to the greatness of Casino Royale was that, for perhaps the first time, we genuinely thought playboy Bond had a real love interest, and it ticked all the boxes any good love interest should include - lustful, challenging, heart-wrenching. And this unfortunately creates a comparison level I'm afraid was never achieved again. I do feel for Seydoux, as she's a really great actor, and her character has an interesting backstory, but the romance between Madeleine and Bond just doesn't come close to that of Bond and Vesper, and it just leaves me feeling un-bothered about anything that happens between them.
Talking of characters, I know I might get lambasted for this, but I'm yet to see Rami Malek in anything I've enjoyed... I know direction plays a large part, but, for example, he just seemed genuinely awkward around the daughter (Sonnet); like, not character-actor awkward, but Malek himself. If this was purposefully done, then I'll contently eat my hat, but something was certainly off with that whole character. Not intimidating; really, really weak argument for his plans ("people don't know what they want", so I'm going to kill them?); and I'm almost certain the cyclops side-kick (Benssalah) had more screen time. Also, the fixation on poisonous, exotic plants that ends up baring absolutely no impact on the plot whatsoever? Like, what!? Just edit it out, save us 15 minutes of bum-numbing. Perhaps a symptom of the multiple script re-writes. Finally, and perhaps I'm being dense, but I've no idea how he got the scarring on his face. I'm lead to assume it happened when his family were killed, but didn't they die by ingesting poison? How did that get to him/and not kill him? Anyway, by far and away the weakest enemy of the Craig era. Sorry, Rami.
This brings me onto a general bugbear I have with any film and it's a spoon-feeding script. Bond saying "I miss you" in front of Vesper's tomb (you don't say...); Q saying "He'll be here soon" about his dinner date, seemingly a shoehorned, box-ticking exercise, completely insignificant to the plot (though any critique of this film including the term 'woke' should be immediately dismissed due to simply being incorrect). There are more, especially in the first 1/3rd of the film that I can't recall two days on, but I seem to remember being frustrated at words being said when the face (the actual acting) can do so much without them.
Another point on the script: with this being such a 'dark' Bond film, the humour, though a staple of every other film, just seems too forced. I'm all for a good cheesy joke, so the calibre of the joke isn't the issue, more the placement. And a final point - the "007, just a number" thing is flogged. To. Death. We get it, Bond retired, they gave the number to someone else. Make a quick joke about it and move on.
Good points - and there are plenty: 1) The forest set piece was fantastically done; 2) Hans Zimmer's score and Billie Eilish's theme song are lovely; 3) Fight scene choreography in Cuba; 4) The cinematography; 5) Felix's sub-plot; 6) Christoph bloody Waltz. Unfortunately, for me, though the visual and auditory effects are outstanding, they don't do enough to plug the holes in the plot.
Killing Bond just leaves me empty - not least because about 2 minutes after it's happened the credits are rolling. This is James *bleeping* Bond. And a subdued reading of a poem and a tipple are all that he gets? And I have to say, I saw it coming. This version of Bond, with its continuous story would have to have an ending, and if all the bad guys are gone, there's only one thing left to get rid of...
Anyway, I'm not necessarily as angry as some other reviewers are here about the death, but I've also no idea what they're supposed to do next. An 'Origins story' perhaps? Or do they double down and go "all in" with a black, female 007 agent (of which I would completely approve, by the way).
God forbid two eventualities though: 1) We fast-forward 20 years and his daughter becomes the new 007 (truly vomit-inducing), or 2) He somehow survived, which would be beyond farfetched and into Marvel territory.
Sadly, this was also the first time in my 29 years that I went to the cinema and wasn't bothered about a single other film trailer. Not one. So, with this being as 'alright' as it is, I left the theatre feeling empty; not something that happens often.
All I can say from here in is good luck to whoever's involved with whatever comes next, because "uphill battle" doesn't quite cover it.
Vigil (2021)
I'm not in the Navy...
Seems a lot of negative reviews are coming from ex-forces that seem to be having a difficult time wrestling with the concept of 'fiction'...
It's really very good, I just think the final episode waters it down somewhat. As much as I'm less bothered about the 'wokeness' of a lesbian relationship as some people here (yes, lads, they do exist), I also struggles to see how it's constant airtime adds to the plot.
On a similar note, I really don't care about the cut-away scenes of the main character's trauma from falling into the lake. Like, every character is going to have some issue they're dealing with, and it just takes you away from the actual crime-solving, which is the meat of the show.
Either way, a well-acted, solid piece of British goodness. I probably won't be in a rush to watch it again, but it was good nonetheless.
The Greatest Showman (2017)
This film gave me trust issues.
I've not heard a bad review of this film from anyone - from random people on TV, to my family and closest friends. I no longer trust any of them. I'm not being a 'blokey' bloke here either, and I have enjoyed many previous musicals, but The Greatest Showman is just not the one. It's a Disney movie without the brilliance of the animators.
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Costumes; choreography; special effects; Jackman, Efron, and Settle - great. Well done. However, given the budget of a film of this calibre, I wouldn't expect anything less.
However major, major things you require from a musical are conspicuous in their absence; namely original plot, and the *actual songs* themselves.
It is a story regurgitated a thousand times, which I actually have less issue with than the songs. The awful, radio-ready, completely forgettable pop melodies and vocals are just honestly not 'musical'. I am not exactly what you would call a musical aficionado, but even I know that the songs don't feel like 'musical' songs. I would love to hear someone who has a finer ear than I pinpoint what exactly a 'musical' song is, but it's certainly *not* what is on show in this film.
Halfway through I really wondered who exactly this film was for. User reviews here seem to be mostly from actual funtioning adults, but surely a film such as this is limited to the intellect and experience of a 15-year-old? I am in no way a snob and I can appreciate a overly-silly comedy, or an overly-schmoozy rom-com, but this is genuinely perplexing as it appears to entertain actual adult people!?!
In short, just don't bother, even if you have the time and money. Boring waste of my life.
Behind Her Eyes (2021)
I wish I was told it was a fantasy.
It was fine. Definitely not awful, cool twist at the end and brilliant casting (not that I've read the book to compare, but the acting was strong throughout).
But I just wish I was informed that it was a fantasy before I'd watched most of the series. I was completely taken aback in episode 4 (I think it was) when they just started doing the 'floaty orb' thing, because I thought I was in for a gritty, realistic drama.
I don't know about anyone else, but I was reminded of the film The Green Mile, when a similar thing happened, in that I thought I was in for something tough and real, but then the guy magics a mouse back to life and the whole plot changes (still love the film but it was a shock that wasn't particularly enjoyed).
I'm also not sure the 'mini series' has found its place in terms of pacing just yet - the third episode, literally nothing happens. My partner encourages me that it's just character development, but it doesn't quite rub off on me. Literally nothing that didn't already happen in episode 2 happens in episode 3, which to me is more of an issue with pacing.
Either way - it's certainly not bad, and if you're after something to kill some time, give it a go - maybe you'll be less disappointed, having read this review, that it's not realistic.
I'd also like to just round off that I'm chuffed that it's a British production with a black, female lead that I'd certainly like to see more of in future.
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Is this room a little dusty?...
Having not watched this since I was a child, and also since Williams' tragic passing, there were more tears this time around than I seem to recall...
What a lovely, heartfelt, funny, yet sensitively-approached film about a divorce. The best thing about it is that the main 'dress up' aspect of the film isn't even the highlight, when you take account of the all-round great cast and writing, both of which are rare these days.
I'm shocked at the rating given on here, and can't quite put my nose on it why it is so, but stuff that; watch it, with your whole family, and make your own mind up.
RIP Mr. Williams, you absolute diamond.
Bridgerton (2020)
Please tell me no one takes this seriously. Please.
I really hope I'm missing some big trick here and no one is genuinely taking this seriously. Please tell me for my own sanity that viewers at least realise it's absolute trash, as either a romance or a drama, but go along with it for the pompous, costume-y ride?
Historical accuracy is out of the window, but as it is fiction, that's fine. But woe be all of us if our media consumption returns to the 'boobs and swords' era of the late noughties that this series mind-numbingly revitalises.
The age rating certification given to this (15) actually surprised me, mainly due to the fact that anyone of viewing age or above shouldn't find anything contained in it as exciting, novel, shocking, nor interesting.
Sniff.
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Harmless fun
Not bad, not great. Watched this back-to-back with its predecessor last night and it felt more like a second 'episode' than a distinct film - have a feeling it may be a sign of the time it was released as binge watching is far more common 16 years later!
Largely follows the same plot as the first one, but with a more exotic scenery.
Don't expect it to challenge your top 5, but it's fun nonetheless.
Roadkill (2020)
Fans of Laurie avoid - not even he can save this one.
I don't often find myself compelled to write on here, but as I was lured in by the intrigue of a topical, political drama featuring Hugh Laurie, I want this review to serve as fair warning for fellow Laurie fans to avoid at all costs.
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Like a 4-pint jug of water topped with a single drop of Robinson's fruit squash, Roadkill is a hyper-diluted mixture of well-known and far better produced predecessors, such as 'House of Cards', or John Niven's 'Kill Your Friends'. For a start, you're not even aware Peter Lawrence (Huge Laurie) cares about getting to the top until halfway through the final episode - even then he's so nonchalant at his rise through the ranks that you don't really care whether he does or not.
The script is questionable in a variety of places, but just about holds its own. But what struck the character interaction. It was simply bizarre, and flitting even between scenes, not just episodes. Characters come and go and produce a wild array of seemingly unwarranted emotion in some scenes and it leaves the viewer wandering if minutes or even hours of character development have been lopped off for the sake of preserving the 'flavour of the month' notion of the mini-series.
I feel there are far, far too many plot points in this to make any of them stand out, so either it needed to simply remove some characters, or make it a longer, more developed series - which leaves me in the strange position of feeling that 4 episodes is both too much and too little...
Furthermore, and slightly disturbingly for 2020 standards, Lawrence appears to live in a world surrounded by women he has to overcome. The PM he frequently, but uninterestingly locks horns with; the side-eye gazing chauffeur; the stuck up senior civil servant; his mistress(es) and his Stockholm Syndrome suffering (or so it seems) wife; his utterly insufferable and completely unbelievable daughter, Lily, and his other lazily-written eldest daughter Susan; and then the situation in the prison (not wanting to give it all away). Lawrence's raise to the top appears to be a conquest over various women and it raises a bizarre precedent of the positives of misogyny that doesn't sit well with me.
I'll be extremely surprised if this is a single series deal, mostly due to the vague and extremely speedy wrapping up(ish) of plot points in episode 4, but I won't be going anywhere near it.
*Also a final word on the BBC critique that appears to have come from this (good old 2020...): Do shut up. Roadkill is a dreadful waste of time, and yes, it's about a Tory politician, but leave it at the door, it's a fiction for crying out loud.*
In brief, what waste of 4 hours of my life that was. I actually watched 3 episodes in one go, then came back to the final episode - I watched that last one while on my cross-trainer, so at least it wasn't a complete waste of time!
I am reluctant to give this a single star, but only simply because a single-star review is easier to disrepute as filled with bias, or uncritical thought - so let's call it a 1.5* shall we?
Little Women (2019)
Pleasant nothingness
Having not read the book, nor having seen any of the other adaptations, I can truly say I went into this blind. I expected a romantic story of sisterhood, and I got exactly what I came for.
Ronan and Chalamet were brilliant as always, and it was the first time I'd seen Florence Pugh, who was also solid. The costumes were well deserved of their accolades and the cinematography was exactly what you'd expect for a romantic period piece.
Plot-wise, I enjoyed the lack of chronology, as well as the lack of hijacking the story to push any agenda but for the endurance of sisterhood, to which I was pleasantly surprised.
Bar that, genuinely nothing of note happens; the sads aren't too sad, and the happies not overly joyus; to which I suspect is the reason it's given it's U rating.
Not one to call home about, but not bad by any stretch either.