chris_rowe-881-168820 Reviews

Boy Kills World (2023)

It felt like all the others thrown together

[4/10 · 1 May 2024]

Saw the trailer and was convinced this was my type of film, funny, action, gore and horror and seemed to be imaginative and fresh. However watching it it felt like ideas from about 7 movies squeezed into one but it just doesn't feel like it works well in any genre.

Some of the humour is great, as are the fight scenes but the story is genuinely awful, the characters aren't remotely interesting or ones you really care about. You'll probably float through thinking it's fine, but then when you get out, you'll have forgotten everything.

The cast have no real chemistry either, some of the choices were baffling, seemed they just had jokes in mind they wanted to get in.

Challengers (2024)

Surprisingly good. Except for the music

[9/10 · 25 April 2024]

I've been in and around tennis my whole life, so I was curious to see how they'd execute it within the story, the only other tennis films I recall is Match point which felt a little less tennis based, Wimbledon which was early 2000s rom com great but in terms of authenticity on court, wasn't quite by there. Then lastly the comedy by Andy Samberg about the longest ever match which was hysterical.

The casting was genuinely perfect, Zendaya looked like a pro, frame wise and physique she had it, she seemed to have bulked up her upper legs for the role as her physique was different from showman/euphoria. Her line delivery was great, her motivation at times was confusing and overall I came away feeling like she was the villain, but my mom felt another way, I like that.

The two lads had an amazing chemistry, they really felt natural, like they were really that close, if they didn't know each other before then, that's incredible acting! Both played people in tennis I've seen a lot, the professional who even at his lowest, wears the respectable gear, cares about image and carries himself with dignity. Then the slightly unkept, wasted potential, mismatched gear who could've been great if not for himself.

From the tennis side and the realism, it was perfect, the love story is open to interpretation and I think can probably hit people differently, one is a natural villain but the part where he is blamed for going awol, if anyone had said what Zendaya did to him, I'd have been furious to, that was the only part I thought made no sense if they had an idea of exactly how they wanted you to feel.

The last point wasn't enough to knock a point off, the movie is very close to perfect for my tastes, not sure how non tennis fans will feel but the reason I knocked 1 off was it was the worst music score to a film I can remember to the point where I've never complained about one before, the music didn't fit the tone of the film or the moments happening, it was loud and just didn't feel the right reflection of this movie.

Abigail (2024)

This film is just fun!

[10/10 · 25 April 2024]

Went to see this on my weekly cinema trip with the mother (70) and we both loved it, the design, the humour, not following the same trend of every other horror going. Out of all the genres, we like horror most as a lot of the films atleast try to be different and memorable and between ones like talk to me and blackening there have been some gems lately.

Alisha Weir as Abigail was genuinely incredible, she's 14! Blew my mind.

The only two negatives was I found Dan Stevens seemed to have a strange accent that kept slightly changing, he didn't seem particularly natural with it. The other criticism I'm going to be honest about and this is before we knew he passed away or about his story (very strange seeing parts of this movie if you knew he was gone IRL) but his mumble style of talking was quite difficult to understand, didn't enjoy or have any interest in that character as he felt very current, plus this generation suck as people.

Big shout out to the big guy for the humour!

After only just seeing Lisa Frankenstein, Kat Newton is a horror star! She's again great here!

Back to Black (2024)

Cash grab with no real point.

[3/10 · 16 April 2024]

I like Amy Windhouse, not her music particularly but I liked her as a whole, the fact is she died a fair while ago and there's already been a movie and atleast 3 tv documentaries that have covered all of this with far more detail and context, I'm unsure who wanted this, maybe Blake as there seemed a real effort to portray him as the victim. Also the dad wasn't squeaky clean like portrayed here.

It's very peculiar, it focuses on the cheap stuff from heat magazine, doesn't dive deep, show hard moments or any scenes of any real emotion considering the subject matter. It's not bad but for a cinema ticket it is theft, just turn YouTube on and read Wikipedia.

The resemblance was pretty good, there were a lot of moments that could only have been recalled by Blake which seems a questionable direction to go. The obvious scene your 100% sure you'll see and think it'll break you, they chickened out of and used text. Poor.

She had issues, she was immature, she struggled with personality disorder, didn't grieve, was desperate to feel love, materialistic things meant nothing and she couldn't live without the toxic relationship slowly killing her, whether he's innocent or not, meeting him wasn't a good thing at all.

Her music is great, I do think it's massively overrated because of her passing, but she was no doubt talented and creative, I just wonder what help could've even saved her, or was the ending inevitable especially when nan went?

Not bad acting but felt way too long, chickened out of doing tough scenes/moments and rushed through important bits for shallow moments, lastly the UK press need to be made accountable for harassment and stalking, they should only be allowed to photograph people with their consent. It's time to stop these idiots contributing to any more death.

Do not pay to watch this, watch the stuff already freely available,

Monkey Man (2024)

Too long for the material it had

[5/10 · 12 April 2024]

This is a promising debut, in no way a bad film, in places it seemed to drag a long time, the action bits are good no doubt, there was even some woke attempts by including a specific third gender of people in Asia, it didn't affect the movie, did it feel the right choice? Arguably not, but that's the world now, no long right people for the job, who fits what box.

Whilst the action is good, we have seen so many of these kinds films, plus a lot do it better, some stuff was clever and the characters weren't bad but still did those stupid 8 on 1 fights that are legit impossible to win or 4 people with guns in the same room and none can connect.

Ending was strange, not bad just a bit flat, definitely not a film that needs returning to, if it was half hour shorter and focussed more it'd be far better.

Plus I'm sorry but I don't buy Dev as a badass or tough guy,

Mothers' Instinct (2024)

Waste of real potential

[5/10 · 11 April 2024]

The budget was clearly blown on the two female leads, then someone googled "generic white 40 year old actors" then these two popped up, they were bad. But for me this is the 6th film in 3 year I've seen with JC as a lead and she's abysmal, such a forgettable and weak actress, from mannerisms to line delivery, just bad, the only reason this was watchable was Anne who was amazing!

Story was good, they didn't commit to showing the scenes that'd have caused shock and sadness, it was all tame, arty and well, boring. The pacing is super slow and how the relationships capitulate is unrealistic, from best friends to accusing of murder? Bit much.

I felt sorry for the wrong person for 95% of the film, then I just gave up caring,

It's a bit far fetched and ludicrous in places, overall this had big potential but poor pacing, casting and decision making ruined it.

Seize Them! (2024)

Shameful, lazy and embarrassing.

[1/10 · 10 April 2024]

Most of this cast are people I really like, I didn't mind it being female led as you had 3 genuinely funny women leading the film, so couldn't see this being bad, then the showtimes came out, it was obvious the cinema saw the film as a flop, so went anyway.

Let's start with James Acaster, from a big role in the new Ghostbusters to this? I mean everything here was unprofessional and weak, if it'd have been a free tv movie on Dave you'd maybe like it more but at nearly £20 a ticket this is disgusting, it shouldn't have got to the screens, luckily I pay subscription.

The script wasn't funny, seemed to want to mimic horrible histories and ghosts kinda sense of humour but nothing landed, the acting was just weak but the script didn't help, there was more groans in the screening I was at. A few chuckles but not enough to excuse paying for this garbage.

This cast could've put together a great movie even with this idea, I'm amazed having nick frost in here, that you'd not get his advice or opinion!

The world was ok, costumes were garbage, endless unnecessary swearing, alot of stuff that didn't fit with time line, just a real mess.

Please don't waste your money on this, free stream or tv then fine but honestly you'll regret wasting a penny on this.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Immersive and beautiful

[10/10 · 10 April 2024]

Reading through the reviews, it's the same every time with these kinda films, from marvel to transformers, there's those people that will hate on everything they do, yet keep going to more films, disregard anyone who gave this under 6, they never saw it or just likes to be negative. It's so tedious the same arrogance and sabotage on giving big franchises awful scores.

The film itself was great, went really quickly, the design and the effects were top draw, they had a great range of characters who weren't one dimensional, I enjoyed that a few side characters were more versatile here, the fight scenes were great. The little girl to be so good with no lines!!! Credit to her.

Honestly I can't understand unless you hate these types of movies how you'd not like it.

Kung Fu Panda 4 (2024)

Good addition

[9/10 · 2 April 2024]

I'm unsure why people are so addicted to being negative and hating on new movies, I'm all for criticism and giving valid feedback but as soon as you give movies like this 1/10 you just lose all credibility, even if you're not a fan, on no planet is this a bad movie.

It's slightly different from the others but it's been a bit of a gap now and new people involved.but it does seem that studios are obsessed with finding a way to get Awkwafina into every animated film now from angry birds to this to migration! I'm a huge fan of hers but less is definitely more.

The characters are good, story is a bit predictable as an adult but I don't think kids will see the twists coming as easily. The design is always stunning in these films, It was a curious choice to leave the 5 out but in this film it'd have made little sense paying those actors for a few lines.

A great little addition however, with cinema prices reaching insane levels it's hard to think a family trip and food to watch this for £60 is really worth it, as a £10 dvd it's brilliant, I do think price can affect score massively, I have the subscription so see unlimited films for £11 a month. Something to consider.

Ricky Stanicky (2024)

Few good moments but mediocre overall

[5/10 · 31 March 2024]

I was excited for the movie and thought it was going to be more like Drop Dead Fred but they did it another way and frankly it trips itself up because even as someone who can suspend their reality, this pushed it far! The acting was mediocre at best except Cena who did his role pretty well.

I watched Zac in a new wrestling movie, he looking incredible, in this one his face looked surgically altered and a bit strange, he was off! Wes was the best out the three, he was easily the most natural. That Andrew Santorini (ginger guy) is so awful, he's kinda ok as a background friend but he's such a bland poor actor. He's not remotely likeable and even in this came off awfully and just not someone you want good things for.

Majority of the stuff was too harmless aswell, except the brisk which was weird. It should've been wacky but wasn't, relied on stupid too much, ironically enough, stupid is only executed well when it's intelligently put together.

Immaculate (2024)

She does have a face?

[7/10 · 28 March 2024]

Even in a film about nuns they managed to get Sydney to exploit her assets which is just such a shame, beautiful girl but becoming a running joke that theres 2 specific reasons she's hired for jobs, even Saturday night live joked about it. Just a shame.

Never been fond of her acting, from lotus to anyone but you, she felt unnatural, fake and unable to get emotion out however I wanted to review the fact she was excellent in this, not only the most believable screaming I've heard but also logical reactions and responses to things, this film seems marmite, we went as a 6, 50% loved it.

Her acting was great, story was interesting, well worth a watch.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

Enjoyable and fun

[9/10 · 28 March 2024]

On no planet is this a 1/10 or 3/10 movie, those reviews seem to be by people hating because they feel only movies from their era count, whilst I've had issues with new franchises like turtles not doing the originals justice, this is still massively respectful of its originals, it's just more modern which is fine.

The story is great, all makes sense and there's nothing that you won't follow, the effects are really good, the design work is beautiful, I think the cast on the whole is really well put together and have a decent chemistry although Paul Rudd doesn't age and is the same character in every film but I like him so that's fine.

There's some modern drama, mostly involving the young girl, she's a great actor, we couldn't say for sure if it was a gay love angle or just friendship but it was good and nothing to upset or annoy anyone.

The guy from stranger things barely has any lines, wondered if he's got older is he not as good?

The comedy was very good, they clearly had people play to their strengths. Kumail was excellent.

I got the impression they may revisit old ghosts or use this as a bit of a reset which makes the next one exciting, end credit scene didn't offer much, they need to have a symbol up to indicate if there is one.

Drive-Away Dolls (2024)

We get it.

[3/10 · 20 March 2024]

This is another example of a film with main characters being gay, which I have no issue with but it seems like every movie has this now but I have no issue except when the film comes about it, 2 friends with no chemistry could've had a hilarious buddy led film like a Bonnie and Clyde in the new age, but no it just goes for the cheap easy option, it had very little humour and just felt a waste of two talented leads.

It had all it needed, hell even if they had to do a romance angle why make characters so ridiculously opposites just for effect? It was well acted in parts,good story but wasted potential.

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

An acquired taste I think.

[10/10 · 7 March 2024]

I'll start by saying, in a full cinema, 7 people left, 2 very early and me (37 year old man) and my mum (70) went as we have the subscription. It was so different but also kinda familiar. I can see why some weren't keen, you need to be able to switch off and lose reality for a bit.

For me it was a bit like drop dead Fred meeting Beetlejuice meeting the new age Wednesday on Netflix. It was really funny, the music was amazing and I think the film hinged on how much you enjoyed the performance of the lead as she's 90% of the dialogue, I thought she was excellent, seen her before, but her eyes, mannerisms and delivery were excellent. It might remind you of things but it's so individual.

There's daft humour, bad language, a lot of sewing, and hilarious groping, I can't give enough away, but if you want to lose near 2 hours, laughing at ridiculousness and a really great new film then this is perfect.

What's sad is so many people in their little boxs score this badly because they don't give it a chance or are incapable of opening their minds! It's sad people crush creativity through lack of effort or attitude to enjoy new things.

Not quite top 3 this year

1) The Holdovers 2) Wicked little Letters 3) Beekeeper.

Wicked Little Letters (2023)

Perfect happy movie

[10/10 · 7 March 2024]

There's something about British films, a realistic charm that you can't get from big budget movies and this is one that is an absolute gem, out of the hundreds and thousands of films I've seen, it created the best atmosphere in a cinema, two days in a row! I liked it alot.

Cheesy humour and alot of foul language but in a way that'll shock and delight and make you cry laughing, I saw one review claiming it's not funny... I feel very sorry for them.

The acting is superb, I love the variety JB does, she's so good in this, the cast is perfect and all have really good chemistry

For me Olivia Coleman is this generations Helen Mirren.

Things You Should Have Done (2024– )

What is wrong with people?

[1/10 · 2 March 2024]

I remember seeing this girl on YouTube doing impressions and to be fair she's got some skill at a few things, however this show is taking all the worst bits of tv comedy and rolling them into the worst thing I've seen for a long time.

The unkempt, dirty slob look does happen so that's one thing but the monotonous voice and stupid delivery of the "script" is just tedious. The trying to be really stupid stuff just to get out of trying to explain this mess of a show was just lazy.

The casting is weird, the mighty boosh style hallucinations were done awfully and there's only laughs here if you're a kid, or just not intelligent. I like enough stupid tv, characters or movies but this is just too much.

It's not hate on her, I don't know her deal but this being made is ridiculous, another social media person with a small following getting tv time on the channel licence money goes to is insanity.

Watched all 6, I'll be honest, 4 things made me laugh, at the show not with it and definitely not her.

0.5/10 F-

Bad Education: Camping (2024) Season 5, Episode 6

Pathetic

[1/10 · 11 February 2024]

Let's be honest, This is the only job the one playing Mitchell is ever going to get, whilst Layton appears talented I think only when not given too much freedom as he's had other roles.

In this he's just a stereotypical gay man who's so far over the top you just hate him, it's not clever/funny or even realistic, the conversations are awkward, poorly written and hold no shreds of realism, very occasionally you'll get a chuckle from a kid but I'd guess 99% of these kids never work again.

Matthew Horne must struggle these days, to do this role in this garbage show comes to show his career is over to, the head can actually act so why she does this is beyond me.

This is prime example of a show, from 1-3 with effort, is decent enough, the rest is a desperate attempt to try and squeeze any attention out of a franchise which was only ever alright.

Cant state how bad series 4-5 and Xmas special are! The fact Jack let his project turn to this is sad.

The Iron Claw (2023)

Amazing film but too short for the subject material.

[9/10 · 7 February 2024]

I think this is the first time I've ever thought of an over 2 hour movie as too short but there's so much overlooked and missing that it doesn't even really give a full picture, in an era highlighting men's mental health there was a real chance to shine some light that even in the era of "real men" these things happened,

A whole brother was cut from the film to avoid too much tragedy which considering the plot is weird, Chris passed away young by suicide, fair enough not showing it but for him to not be mentioned or anything felt harsh.

Also Kerry's injury, whilst shocking the facts were he had surgery on the foot but his determination to return mean he reinjured it and then it was amputated, something again not portrayed in the film.

It's brilliantly acted and looks great, I will say I feel a bit for Zac, Hollywood supposedly doesn't take him seriously but for me he's likeable and a good versatile actor, he was exceptional here, he may not be Tom hanks and that's fine but he is very talented.

There was no mention of the two sons eventually wrestling, there's text at the end that could've added way more context.

The dad is vile and judging by him and the wife's portrayal i wonder if they ever accepted blame and repented for not supporting their kids! You don't have 2 suicides, 1 infant death and death from over exertion if you're great parents.

However as much as the dad failed Kerry, if accurate, Kevin failed Daniel after the wedding.

Top film, missing few too many things for a perfect score.

Fool's Paradise (2023)

Unfunny waste of decent talent...and Charlie.

[1/10 · 26 January 2024]

Not being cruel but except cult show Philadelphia I can't see this guy having much of a career, not particularly appealing on the eye, one of the most irritating grating voices of all time and just not a good actor.

This film showed that, he's unfunny unlikeable and everything looks a bit awkward and slow, I don't think at any point it was enjoyable.

It's not hard to understand what it was paying homage to but people seem to class bits of idiotic cinema as intelligent or creative works of art, sometimes they're not and they are just weak, poorly put together messes.

Outside the show, I can't see him working again.

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (2023)

Awful

[1/10 · 19 December 2023]

I'm not convinced the same people had the same amount of control as this didn't have the quality of any previous movie from pirates to Shaun to W&G, the looks were the same but it was extremely basic, very un creative and a cash grab once again with a desperate attempt for few subscribers from Netflix, I'm sure if they'd have had an idea they'd not have needed 23 years.

There was no cuteness, no heart and desperately lacked humour, it was just tedious, slow, predictable and repetitive, it was as basic of an idea as you could get and it was executed poorly, none of the adults like it and 5 kids out of 7 went to sleep. Shame.

Wonka (2023)

Not every film needs an album.

[8/10 · 13 December 2023]

This was for me not quite the level of the original but better than Depps version. What I found most distracting was the endless need for songs where they weren't really needed, they weren't memorable or catchy they just felt lazy and forced, like every kids movie now seems to be full of music.

The acting part was far better, story was sweet, solid and flowed nicely, a lot of fun cameos that most English tv fans will recognise, the design and costumes were great and the special effects were awesome to. Hugh grants little orange man was a highlight as was the talented girl who played noodle.

Biggest floor... TC for me hasn't got a great voice for singing.

How to Have Sex (2023)

Ridiculous ending

[6/10 · 13 December 2023]

I was curious about this film as many people seemed angry about the trailer that this seemed to be a female inbetweeners kinda film but went extremely dark, I watched it last night and can't help but feel torn on it.

Whilst it felt really natural almost like a documentary on itv2 the characters were slightly on the harder to like side to start but you warm to them especially Tara, who seems genuinely young and immature.

The two incidents of attacks, were believable and natural rather than an aggressive style you'd see in darker films, it was clever to do it that way, to show that there are levels to it.

Whilst I hate how many people volunteer to get into states where they lack control with alcohol it is part of society, but I'm still amazed when smoking gets so much attention, drinking which causes more crime/damage/death gets little attention.

What ruined it from being an important film was the ending, where a quick chat seemed to undo it's impact on her, personally think it should've ended on a sad note as potentially these incidents are life ruining. So think whilst idea was good, it chickened out of following through.

Yellowjackets (2021– )

Hilariously bad.

[1/10 · 30 October 2023]

I had high hopes for this, not enough good horror tv shows anymore and the 90s vibe with this kinda story looked really promising but it clearly was more into getting multiple series by stretching every little thing, making every episode pretty uneventful or stupid. It was so forced in places, the writing is genuinely terrible and most bits seemed just cut/copied from other films.

Ignoring the face the cast a really poor lead, the woman from two and a half men was awful in this, genuinely poor and it hurt the show a lot, she had one face for every emotion, most of the adults except CR were poor actors but the characters were all pretty stupid anyway.

They just lazily make jumps and expect viewers just to accept and go along with it, one girl has magical powers, one girls suddenly so stubborn she'll freeze to death, one can get ravaged by a wolf and randomly survive when her friends start cremating her. It's idiotic.

Not a chance I watch series 2, that Lottie character is abysmal and ridiculous but the one plot that was even worse was the kidnap one, senseless, plus she let her go then she stayed anyway only to get released again and meet her demise, it was awful.

The reveal of the psychotic behaviour was no shock but I also don't believe people can live in a house unaware of a room that size. The relationships are easily broken. They're all brittle and have no chemistry.

The Adam character sucked. The child was really weird about how she chose to deal with it, the leads just a complete piece of trash in every way, there's not one person you'd route for, except maybe Natalie, but her adult version is too hard to like.

This would've been better with one long series, 15-18 episodes and done. But instead we get this unfocused directionless mess with awful characters and no real pay off. Just idiotic bears.

It's not a thriller, it's not a horror it's barely 90s style.

It's one of the worst shows I've ever seen.

It Lives Inside (2023)

Lazy and cheap

[2/10 · 23 October 2023]

I was surprised this got a cinema release, it felt like that movie you pick up at supermarkets in the discounted section, whilst watchable, it is both extremely lazy and has massive plot holes and contradictions.

For the majority of the film, it's invisible which personally I think it's because when you do see it, the monster looks pretty terrible. The effects are extremely cheap looking and really take away from the quality. There was one scene that should have been shocking that most of the people in my screening were laughing.

The acting wasn't too bad but there were a lot of questionable character choices and how they kept popping up at locations for no real reason especially with how easy it was to break into condemned houses.

The story has potential, worryingly they teased it's not over but this film in this form should not have a sequel.

What kinda school was it? Can openly just talk to teachers by there first name? They ask for a fair help and you give them endless attitude? Or taking big gulp drinks into class? Weird.

The lead girl was ok until she went from caring to abusive for no real reason in one scene.

It's not completely terrible, it is watchable, but it's just not very good, especially if you're a big fan of horror films.

Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)

Painful to watch

[1/10 · 21 October 2023]

This film probably is enjoyed by a certain audience and I respect everyone has their tastes but the beauty of a lot of films is that whatever genre, a good film can engage anyone, this is not that.

To be honest if I see Leo I do think "boring long slow film" but this was endless, the cinema was packed which was great but within 20 minutes about 8 people had left, more followed over the next half hour. It was so slow it felt endless, the acting was unimpressive, the characters were bland and the design and set up where underwhelming.

The story is obviously important so no disrespect on any events but this film isn't good. It'll win Oscar's no doubt but nearly every year, Oscar winning films are as painful as having your eyeballs tattood.

I'm sure everyone will rave about it but from my experience and the one cinema I was in, close to a quarter left before half way and two separate people caused hysterics as they were loudly snoring, that's the truth, if you love that type of film or story, it's all yours, if your looking for entertainment or a fun night, skip this.

It felt about 3 1/2 weeks let alone hours.