ceefoo Reviews

Timecode (2000)

Impossible to watch

[1/10 · 20 June 2014]

TIME CODE (not Timecode) was filmed in 4 continuous takes beginning at 3:00pm on Friday, November 19th, 1999. All of the cast improvised around a predetermined structure... WHAT'S THE POINT!?!

This film may being "artsy" or "experimental" but if the audiences viewing and enjoyment of the film is totally ruined as a result; then really: What Is The Point?

Going into the movie I didn't know what to expect and when I saw that the picture was split into quarters I thought "this is unusual" but was wondering WHEN the screen would turn into a single visual. It wasn't until about 15 minutes in that it occurred to me that - THE WHOLE FRAKKING FILM IS LIKE THIS! All 97 minutes. Even the flipping End Credits FFS!

Trying to follow a story from one of the 4 frames is very restrictive because although you can see 4 frames at once, you are only allowed (for obvious reasons) to hear one frames' dialogue clearly at a time.

And just as you are following THAT storyline, the filmmakers decide to fade down the volume and switch to a different frame. SO F***ING ANNOYING! What's most annoying is that this fail of a movie does have a brilliant cast, so it's a real shame that their efforts went to waste on this nonsensical idea for a feature film.

Target Earth (1998 TV Movie)

Maybe NOT JUST Science-Fiction

[8/10 · 10 January 2014]

Firstly, take no notice of the average IMDb user rating of 4.3/10. It just goes to show how utterly clueless some people are.

So much so that I could be forgiven for thinking that some of the voters are trying to deter people from watching the movie in case it prompts them to ask questions about shadow governments and social infiltration... Really? You may ask. If you think I'm a conspiracy theory nut-job, then at least consider this:

• Is it FEASABLE that we (humans) have been or are being visited by extra-terrestrial beings (i.e. aliens)?

• And if so, is it also entirely feasible that those aliens could and would infiltrate all sections of our society? We sure as hell would do it. So why not them?

The number of abduction cases is huge. Although I believe that many are hoaxes or people with mental health issues, if even a small percentage were real then that is a significant number that could prove decisive if elected a position of great power and influence.

This movie asks THAT question that most people find uncomfortable or inconceivable. Or they treat it as a joke. You may think this is just a silly science-fiction movie but in actuality it's not far off from a real-life scenario.

If you are one of those people that asks yourself: Are we alone in the universe? Are we ever going to see the UN-Photoshopped NASA images? Then you need to see this film.

If you only think about your own mundane, everyday life. And are only interested in when your favourite reality TV show is on next and the dull, meaningless conversation you are having on social media... Then still watch it. You might learn something!

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

Attention Aliens! How NOT to Invade Earth

[1/10 · 17 February 2012]

Where do I start?

Well Firstly...Are you taking the P***? Seriously! Jonathan Liebesman (Director) and Christopher Bertolini (Writer) Are you taking the P*** Well obviously if you have seen the movie you would agree YES! Anyway...

How about the concept that aliens have invaded earth for it's "water". Yes that rare element that is quite abundant on earth and come to think of it can be found just about everywhere else in the universe. O-k-a-y !

Or that an advanced alien civilisation (that has the technology to travel between stars) would come down to earth on foot and shoot, ALL 7 BILLION of it's inhabitants with laser guns. And by the way don't even have armour to resist our primitive projectile weapons. In realty it would be a fairer fight between a 21st century commando armed to his teeth and a caveman armed with a sharp stick. But this isn't realty is it? It's just a dumb movie. A very, very, very, DUMB MOVIE.

Indeed, if a hostile alien civilisation did want to take over over earth there are far more effective methods (although granted, not as dramatic), of ridding the world of pesky humans. But PLEASE, give the audience some credit! It's just downright lazy and insulting to ones intelligence.

I'm not saying there isn't a place for movies that don't engage the mind and are good when you've got 90 minutes to burn by watching s*** getting blown up, but "Battle: Los Angeles really takes the biscuit.

If I had the temerity that an audience would buy this ludicrous pile of donkey-dirt, I myself could have excreted it out. Hell, even a bunch of retarded chimps could have come up with a better plot.

I wonder what a real alien would think if they saw "Battle: Los Angeles"? They would probably p*** themselves with laughter if they hadn't already evolved away a sense of humour. Or they might think "Shall we show them how we would really invade earth" My money would be on E.T.