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VALARAUKAR-18
Reviews
The Creepy Line (2018)
Fitting that the past few years have put this in a new light.
It's not biased with some sort of far left bizarro manifesto, or something, but it is in fact biased towards us, towards you, you dumbasses that wrote the shallow, copycat reviews and either didn't watch it or didn't and possibly couldn't understand it. Of course Google and Facebook are evil, and of course that wasn't the initial intention of the respective creators o' content and ye ol' algorithms. But serious lack of foresight doomed humanity again, same as it ever was and will be. It's in mankind's nature to start brilliantly with all of the hope and promise in the universe at their fingertips and to nonetheless inevitably fail of their purpose all over again, and again. Too busy playing with their new toys for introspection and a couple years into feeding the actual beast and it can't be undone now. The ghost in the machine don't play that. What's hilarious is who was bitching initially here. The mighty inclusive d'army, the same one that it turns out isn't so tolerant or inclusive of ANYONE WHO HAS A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE than the one that they have lashed themselves to unto the ends of the earth and everything else for that matter. Isn't it terribly ironic and yet absolutely deserved that the very things and ideas that were railed against and oftentimes justifiably vilified but not always, became the base dna for the downtrodden, unheard, unwashed and unloved masses? If we weren't all so terribly screwed I would actually giggle like a freak every time I considered the subject at all. We become what we hate, every goddamn time, because good intentions bleed away and fear and loathing and malice take their place and then the figurative and literal violence commences en masse. Cliches are cliches for a reason. You reap what you sew, folks. On your miserable, hateful heads be it. I really missed having far less friends in volume, but so much richer in quality, who actually absorbed all of the information from every available source and then formulated their very own conclusions and opinions, sifting through the ugly brown smelly paste of intentionally misleading biased hackery down to the marrow that is the truth. Frankly, I don't have a ton of faith in our collective salvation and deliverance from our AI overlords but if we all gleaned just minimal percentages of genuine perceptions before they cash humanities collective check, we have it within to solve this seriously horrific situation just like we do every other dumbass thing we deliberately toss into our own path to hamper us and then hobble us so we fall and perish as we're going to be told do, like the little bitches we've apparently been this entire goddamn time.
BASEketball (1998)
OG critics are professional cynics
This movie isn't just hilarious, with a brutal assault of funny starting immediately, it's also quite smart. Multiple viewings are required to squeeze the most juice from this melon. I sincerely could not recommend this more to those of you out there who still possess a sense of humor. If you don't laugh out loud multiple times throughout the film, you might be suffering from terminal coma.
North Shore (1987)
Seminal flick for a certain demographic in the mid 89's
I'm gonna have to agree that it's dated but then again, I don't give a crap. It's a good movie, it's way more realistic than you think, and Rick didn't expect to go to Oahu's North Shore and own the place, even sporting a pretty shallow understanding of the culture he was stepping into. I moved to Maui on August 1st, 1987 (13 days prior to the release of this film, actually), from San Clemente, California, and I've spent my entire life in, on or under the water, and lived through some very similar circumstances during my decade calling Maui home. I still have friends and family there and go home as often as life allows. I get that anyone as unfamiliar with the surfing culture in Hawaii and even on the Mainland where I grew up, will miss a lot of what clicks and makes it a treasured piece of nostalgia for those of us who do appreciate it. The music... Ugh... Fortunately for me my first girlfriend when I moved there got me into Bob Marley and Jimmy Cliff and I met a bunch of disparate types of people who were stoners, retro hippies, regretful yuppies and a million more varieties of people who did there best to fit in, respect the Aina, share and feel the Aloha and live a kind of stress free existence that I have yet to get anywhere near again. The comments regarding the portrayal of the Hui was padded for the story because anyone who knows what works nuts and bolts-wise in the crafting of one understands conflict and resolution are the two keys. But as for portraying locals in an unfair light as thugs and bullies, every place has it's local thugs and bullies, especially quiet little surf towns on the California Coast, like my hometown, San Clemente. I saw some gnarly things happen and even was caught up in some myself, and all of the things depicted in the flick were very much possibilities and hearing the phrase, in pidgin, "what? You like one beef?" Or "what, you like go?" will cause anyone who's ever spent any significant time in paradise. Rick's quick leveling up is the most implausible of storylines, but it's not unheard of for someone to be a natural at something and just get it once the vision is cleared of the clutter of their own personal stuff that those that teach saddle us students with sometimes. If you don't like it, don't watch it. Trust me on this, everyone that digs this movie could not give a flying *#+* what you think and we don't remember asking for your opinion anyway. Aloha!