moviefansme Reviews

Baby Reindeer (2024)

Painful to watch

[4/10 · 7 May 2024]

This show strives to portray its characters' extreme discomfort, while simultaneously making its audience uncomfortable as well, and this show is extremely effective. It's very well written, conveying how utterly unlikable the main characters are, with no one to identify with or cheer for, only people to feel disappointed with and to pity. The actors are likewise quite effective at portraying their characters' humiliating circumstances. The fact that the lead actor is also the writer and says this is a conglomeration of true stories is even more pitiful, that someone experienced all of this in real life, and worse that they would write it down and broadcast it for all to not only know his pathetic plight but to also experience it. I did not enjoy sharing his experience, and simply hope he doesn't have any more like it for a sequel.

No Hard Feelings (2023)

Unfortunate Jennifer Lawrence career choice

[5/10 · 4 January 2024]

Jennifer Lawrence is a fine actress, as shown in Silver Lining Playbook (2012) and American Hustle (2013). She's broadening her range with a ranch-com, but No Hard Feelings (2023) is so poorly written, it is beneath her talents.

The problem is writer/director Gene Stupnitsky. He likes ranch-coms, but doesn't make them very well, as shown by Good Boys (2019) and Bad Teacher (2011). Now in No Hard Feelings (2023), a plausible premise leads from one painfully unrealistic situation to another, cringeworthy characters unable to function socially.

A raunch-com is not Oscar-worthy drama, but it can still portray realistic characters and a sensible story arc. No Hard Feelings (2023) is in many respects a rip-off of The Big Bang Theory (2007-2019), but the latter portrays nerd culture much more deftly, showing sympathy both for the nerds and for more socially adept people who live with them. No Hard Feelings (2023) had an opportunity to portray micromanaged, overly-protected Gen Zers and their difficulties leaving the nest. Instead it portrays a dweeb born with a silver spoon who squanders opportunities. The characters are reduced to tokens in contrived situations.

Kaley Cuoco found a rich character to portray in The Big Bang Theory (2007-2019). Unfortunately, No Hard Feelings (2023) is not a similar opportunity for Jennifer Lawrence.

No One Lives (2012)

A fantastic, mishmashed mess

[7/10 · 23 September 2023]

Most movies follow well worn conventions, becoming rather predictable. This is unlike any other movie I've seen, following few typical formulas.

It's difficult to describe, at heart a revenge thriller, though one could debate who's getting revenge on who. It's First Blood (1982) meets Home Alone (1990) meets Saw (2004-2023). Sound like storylines that have nothing to do with each other? Exactly.

In many ways, the story doesn't know what it wants to be. The dialogue rings painfully false, the characters' motivations are (intentionally?) indiscernible, the plot feels like it could head in any direction equally believably. The violence ranges from action shoot up to over-the-top brutality. The nudity is obligatory and gratuitous yet mostly glancing and implied. The story adheres to the movie's title yet betrays it.

It's ultimately not all that original yet intriguingly unpredictable. I say see it, not because it's really good, but because it cleverly keeps the viewer guessing what's going on and how it will all unfurl.

Banshee Chapter (2013)

Paranormal Activity meets Videodrome

[7/10 · 20 September 2023]

Low budget and creepy as all hell. The budget and aesthetic of Paranormal Activity (2007) with the otherworldly broadcasting of Videodrome (1983), set in the location of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) with references to Hunter S. Thompson and Timothy Leary crossed with H. P. Lovecraft and Stephen King. Writer/director Blair Erickson has only helmed this single movie, a studio needs to give him budget to make more, he could be the next David Cronenberg. Part found footage, part fake documentary, this fictional story begins with real historical events explained in the beginning of the movie. What if this bioengineered mind altering drug the United States government really created could still be found and what would it be like for the people who take it? As we see, it's horrifying. As the audience learns the history of what was done, we realize the characters are in even greater peril than they know.

The Transfiguration (2016)

Thin

[5/10 · 7 September 2023]

There's not a whole lot of plot here. Feels like a short story with a simple ending that's not much of a twist, plus filler to make it feature length. It's not scary, there's not much action, the violence is brief and relatively mild, and the characters don't have much depth. What's really going on and what it means is open to interpretation, the product of storytelling that is intentionally vague because interpretation is more interesting than the story. This will mostly appeal to fans who really like anything with vampires and like horror that's mostly mild, and maybe fans of teen coming of age stories. While many vampire movies are tense spooky atmospheric thrillers, this isn't one of them.

They Cloned Tyrone (2023)

If Tyler Perry made a live-action Scooby Doo in the hood

[4/10 · 14 August 2023]

I got suckered by the Netflix hype machine. If the first fifteen minutes look bad to you, don't bother watching the rest.

This looked awful five minutes in. Seven minutes in, the first twist happened and it looked like there could be potential. Twenty minutes in, it was obvious that this "science fiction" was just an excuse to make up anything they wanted, no logic necessary. I should have given up, but I saw it through, what a waste of time.

This premise wasn't so original when it was in "Drawn Together" (2004-2007) {Foxxy vs. The Board of Education (#2.2)}, but at least that was funny. In this, the premise is just an excuse for a mystery, but it's not really a mystery. It's like they decided to copy The Cabin in the Woods (2011) with the aesthetic from Get Out (2017), but mimicked it with random events that don't add up. Maybe one needs to take the drugs from this movie to appreciate it.

The Deep House (2021)

Creepy and unsettling

[9/10 · 15 August 2022]

A worthy successor to The Descent (2005) and The Blair Witch Project (1999), this cross between The Amityville Horror (1979) and The Deep (1977) creates an underwater haunted house. An engaged couple making videos of creepy abandoned buildings in southern France stumble upon a gothic mansion at the bottom of a lake that became submerged when a dam was built and flooded the valley it was in. They scuba dive into the house like they're exploring an underwater cave or shipwreck, having paid no heed that all the doors and windows had been blocked from the outside. Their exploration becomes a creepy, claustrophobic, labyrinth race to figure out the house and escape before they run out of air. And they're not alone.

Trance (I) (2013)

Preposterous mess

[4/10 · 26 June 2022]

The premise of this story doesn't pass the laugh test. When a gang of art thieves stages an armed robbery, an auction house employee hides the painting, the thieves beat him up, so he gets brain damage and can't remember where he hid the painting. So what do the thieves do? They kidnap him and take him to a hypnotherapist to recover his lost memories!

The writers try to make this premise entertaining, but the story quickly deteriorates into dreams, recovered memories, fake realities, and twists where nothing is real and no one is what they seem. Good luck figuring out what's really going on, or caring.

The Pey (2021)

When likes get spooky

[6/10 · 12 March 2022]

This is a moderately spooky scary movie about a monster or ghost called The Pey that spreads through social media, particularly likes. Those who post about it get haunted in real life. I do like plots like this where screens are one of the main props and so the character's screen is shown to the audience superimposed on the movie screen. Plots revolving around social media seem very modern. Yet this, while filmed well, is little more than a campfire story.

Break Any Spell (2021)

Incomplete

[6/10 · 12 March 2022]

This film is well made but lacking. A girl who dreams of fighting epic battles must deal with more mundane adversities in real life. This story is an interesting effort to bring the two together, but ultimately lacks the emotional punch it wants to achieve.

Every Time We Meet for Ice Cream Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes (2022)

Delightful

[8/10 · 8 March 2022]

A fun but gruesome little tale about the new girl in high school who doesn't quite fit in and the boy who digs her anyway. I love the pastel color palette, the singsongy soundtrack, and the soda shoppe that looks like The Jetsons (1962) come to life. These kids, despite the playground politics, show that there's someone out there for everyone.

Lethalogica (2021)

No, before that

[6/10 · 6 March 2022]

Ever wonder how you wound up where you did? This funny yet painful story told in reverse shows that this couple has been through quite a journey. Once she tells it all to him again, he remembers and it finally makes sense.

Welcome to Our Home (2021)

Meet the parents

[6/10 · 6 March 2022]

Meeting your new boyfriend's parents can be tough. When their politics are the opposite of your own, that's even tougher. But when the discussion gets emotional, that's when things get really horrific.

GUTS (II) (2021)

Absurdist, gross, funny

[6/10 · 6 March 2022]

This is the story of Horace, a guy at his office trying to fit in with his coworkers and get a promotion from his boss. Oh, and Horace's intestines are on the outside of his body and his shirt. The gore is plentiful and silly, but don't watch while you're eating!

The Stairs (I) (2021)

Pretty lame

[2/10 · 6 March 2022]

Sets up some interesting ideas in the first half, but then no payoff in the second half. Ultimately the story makes no real sense and the plot holes are gigantic. Very poor storytelling, but I guess the movie hopes you'll just go with it because it's horror. Wants to brag that Kathleen Quilan and John Schneider are the stars, but they have very little screen time.

Survivers (2021)

Covid-19 parable

[6/10 · 6 March 2022]

See what happens to people in a health scare when they don't follow the rules. They've survived this long, but how long will that continue? The story is brief, but makes a point.

The Contract Musical (2021)

Black comedy musical

[7/10 · 6 March 2022]

This is a musical, and it tells a very dark tale in a funny way. The lead character is the Devil or a genie, offering the workers in a 19-century railroad work crew any wish he'd like if he'll sign the contract. Of course, each wish goes bad. A fun retelling of a classic tale, the music is even good.

Squish (2020)

The blackest of black comedy

[8/10 · 6 March 2022]

This film has events so terrible, treated so matter of factly, that you just have to laugh. Plot points that seem random come together to motivate events. Seemingly asinine conversations become meaningful. This is a clever bit of writing told completely deadpan.

The Last Christmas (2021)

Murphy's Law Christmas

[6/10 · 6 March 2022]

Santa visits everyone's house on Christmas Eve delivering presents. What could possibly go wrong? This is the tale of the house Santa should have skipped. A well made mini movie with well-written characters and particularly good performances by two young actresses.

The Abyss of the Soul (2021)

Too abstract

[5/10 · 6 March 2022]

Much of this story takes place in a dream state, and so has no obligation to make sense. The waking parts also have little narrative. This is mostly visuals, atmospheric sound, and mood. The feel reminds me a little of Eraserhead (1977)-this is all surreal, not to be taken too literally.

Succession (2021)

Atmospheric

[6/10 · 6 March 2022]

The story is a little vague and abstract, so make your own guess at what is happening and what it means. But the atmosphere is quite eerie and the glum surrounding this family is haunting.

The Thing That Ate the Birds (2021)

Monster or metaphor?

[6/10 · 5 March 2022]

True to its title, there are birds, they were eaten (offscreen), and some Thing did it. But the Thing is also a metaphor, a manifestation of the lead characters' problems at home. Cool creature effects, picturesque scenery, and a chilling soundtrack make this an interesting bit of film.

The Water Will Regret You (2021)

Beautifully creepy

[7/10 · 5 March 2022]

This story is told with visuals and few words. The scenery is alternatingly beautiful and creepy. The story is simple but effective. A lot of the scenes are shot on water and in a boat, which isn't easy (reference Waterworld (1995) for how that can go badly, Jaws (1975) for how it's done well).

Call (II) (2021)

Worst elevator ride ever

[6/10 · 5 March 2022]

The entire film takes place during a single elevator ride. Either this antique of a lift is the slowest ever or this apartment building is 100 stories tall. Either way, the trip gets extra creepy when the elevator phone rings. Good suspense as you find out what's going to happen to this lady.

Escalation (2021)

Good gore

[8/10 · 5 March 2022]

Writer/director/producer/star Christian Bachini has put together quite a little demonstration of what he can do as a moviemaker. His character, Chris, has spent too much time alone in pandemic lockdown watching horror movies and the solitude has started to really eat at him. Great horror makeup and practical effects couple with a spooky movie within the movie create a terrific Saw (2004)-inspired confrontation. I saw the 16-minute festival cut; the original 28-minute director's cut is supposed to be even more gory!