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Ted 2 (2015)
Unfunny Waste of time
Let me start by saying that i had an open mind when i first walked into this film. I heard that the first movie was supposed to be really good, even though i had not seen it. i'm glad i didn't throw away time on the first one either. this movie is basically a really long, and unfunny episode of family guy. It was filled with immature poop jokes and sexual references, that are funny to all the immature 5 year olds in the audience. If they wanted to make money from this "film" (Dare it be called one), they should've pitched it to young adults and kids, and made it PG-13. Because i'm not sure what kind of immature adults would want to watch a teddy bear curse and make poop jokes. Let me also state that i actually like Family Guy. i think its a really funny and well written show. But the writers of this, must have been on crack when they made it. Overall, i think Ted is way too over hyped and un-funny. It's a mess of stupid and unfunny jokes, that'll only have the 5 year olds laughing hysterically.
Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)
Surprisingly Decent
Well i should start with the fact that i had low expectations for this. I loved the first movie, and had high expectations for the sequel, and was not disappointed. The sequel was actually very scary, even more so then the first. Now i remember leaving the movie theater after the sequel was released, and i had just found out that plans were being made for a third movie. i was excited, by had low expectations, as i said. Most movies have a habit of getting bad starting at the third film. For example, Scream 3. I loved the first 2, and then hated the third one (Besides the soundtrack) Anyway, this is a review for Insidious 3, not scream 3. Insidious 3 was good, and actually pretty scary at times. There were many moments of intense, high tension. There is one scene in particular in which Elese is walking down through her basement because the demon went down there. And she follows the footsteps all the way down. She goes very slowly, and at every second, you are expecting a jump scare. The jump scare doesn't happen till about after 5 minutes of her following footsteps. Most scares were pretty good, but some were just stupid. For example, When she hears the noises in the air vent, and goes to check it out. She tries talking to it, and the whole scene is just very stupid. You'll understand what i'm talking about, if you see the film. In the end, it was a pretty decent movie, that did not ruin the franchise. It pushed it further by showing the events from the past, that lead up to the present. I look forward to the 4th film, which is supposed to take place closer to the first movie. And one more thing, there was different director for this movie, it was not James Wan, as in the originals. So i would like to say 'good Job" to this first time horror director, i hope you carry the franchise far.
The Loved Ones (2009)
I was Pleasantly Surprised
This Movie Was amazing. Let that be my opening statement. I just finished watching it and i am terrified, excited, and amazed all at once. Let me start by telling the plot. So this is basically about a father and daughter that work together to kidnap guys and torture them. They kill some, but turn the others into these weird zombie-like creatures. They do some real messed up stuff to the protagonist. Including nailing his feet to the ground, and drilling a hole in his head so they can pour boiling water in the hole. Its crazy. Yet extremely enjoyable. At first, the movie started out kinda funny, and then took a gloomy turn, which i won't spoil even though i labeled this as containing spoilers. I did that to be cautious. Anyway, this film was great and i highly recommend it. There is a very satisfying ending. I gave this a 10 for many reasons. One of which being how much this surprised me. It was refreshing. It managed to be a good horror film without falling into the saw formula. Yes, it had some mindless violence. But it managed to be original, and creative in its ways. That is what separates this from your "Run of the mill" saw film. Also, no disrespect to saw films, i happened to really enjoy them. Although they got awfully repetitive. Anyway, as i said, i highly recommend this.
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
Awesome
I had really low expectations for this movie. I honestly thought it was gonna be another silly, cheesy horror movie. The same old thing. But no. It was actually very original and creative. I expected them to kill off the characters one by one, in silly ways. but no. Most of the main characters actually lasted throughout majority of the film. The film was actually very intense, and surprisingly scary. There were a few jump scenes, as well as some creepy imagery at times. In the end, only one character is left. She is then taken by some agency. She is then thrown into a dark room, with the "Escaped Patients". The end credits plays "No Reflection" by Marilyn Manson. It was a good choice of music to end the film. Overall, i really enjoyed this film. I would definitely recommend this movie.
Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)
Terrifying
This movie was terrifying, even scarier than the first one. Let me start by saying I love the insidious series. I saw this movie on opening day, and i wasn't expecting much due to the fact that sequels usually aren't as good as the original. But man, was I surprised. This movie was a thousand times scarier than the original!! It makes the first one look like a kids movies. The imagery was terrifying, and the jump scenes, and the plot. Although, the first one had a better story, this one had the better scares. Some people actually walked out of the theater crying from this movie, i was amazed. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who likes horror movies, it is very scary. Although i suggest watching the first one first, because you'd understand this one a bit better. I can't wait for the third one. Although it probably won't be as good. They got real lucky with the first two, I don't think they can pull it off again. But i hope it's good.
The Nut Job (2014)
Horrible!!!!
This by far one of the worst movies i've ever seen (Dare it even be called a movie) This movie was so bad. There were about a million fart jokes. If it wasn't funny the first time, then why keep doing it? The plot was stupid, and very predictable. The only reason i gave this a 2, and not a 1, was because the animation was okay. Besides that, this was horrible. I thought that the blair witch project was the worst movie i've ever seen, but this makes blair witch look like The godfather. I wish i could get money, and time back. I can't beileve good actors like Liam Neeson, and Will Arnet did this. They are amazing actors, Why would they do something like this? This is a sad, pathetic movie. I do not recommend this movie, to anyone. Even the kids wouldn't like this one.
1000 Ways to Die (2008)
Insane!!!!!
Let me start by saying this show is insane!!! This was the show that scared me for life, this was the show that made me fear hot tubs, This was the show that made me fear water beds. If you've never seen it, then let me tell you a little bit about it. 1000 ways to die is a show that basically shows you death. But crazy, insane, screwed up ways to die. Apparently they are based on real deaths. I don't know if they really happened. I know that 1 death really happened. They showed a death that took place at an Insane clown posse concert. In which, someone gets electrocuted by accidentally getting Faygo on an electrical wire.(Faygo is a soda) Thats the only death that i know actually happened. Overall, this was a great show, and it sucks they cancelled it. I used to watch it all the time, i've literally seen every episode. This show changed me in a way. It opened my eyes, and showed me that i need to be careful in life. It showed me that i should'nt be an idiot. It made me more careful in what i do. I know that probably sounds stupid or cheesy, but its true. This show made me into a more cautious, careful person. I recommend this show to others (if you can handle it)
Strangeland (1998)
Surprisingly Good
This movie really surprised me. I expected it to be a violent porno from what I've heard. But it surprised me, it actually was very interesting. Dee Snider did a very good job. He definitely created a new horror icon. He was like Buffalo Bill, Freddy Kruger, And others mixed. He put on a very creepy Performance. He did a great job. The ending was pretty cool too. It was a fight scene between Dee Snider and Gage. In the end, Dee dies. The movie has a great soundtrack. With music by bands such as Sevendust, Marilyn Manson, Kid Rock, Twisted Sister, and many more. I purchased the DVD, as well as the amazing soundtrack. I suggest buying both. Overall, this was a great film, and i highly recommend it to anyone who enjoyed Silence of the lambs, Seven, Nightmare on elm street, and others similar films. The reason i gave the film a 7 is because there were some mistakes, Some of the acting was kinda cheesy. But beside that, this was a great film, and i highly recommend it to all.