Worst movie ever. I swear a bunch of 2020s tropes and PC plot concepts (genius 9 year old who can do things on computers that no adult understands, adopted trans son needs shaving lessons, all young men can not be trusted cause they are horny, guy willing to put his girlfriend's dream first, most fathers are drunken a-holes, it's okay to walk off your job if something personal comes up....) were thrown into an AI script writer and this movie came out. Add to that plotlines for multiple characters where they are served booze against their expressed wishes by the bar owner and his employees to the point of drunkenness.
Reviews
12 Reviews
The 12 Days of Christmas Eve
(2022 TV Movie)
Among the worst holiday movies
2 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
We should have stopped when the main character exclaims, "I want the plan on my desk by the end of the day" and adds shortly after that, "I don't care if you have to work all night. " The line was not delivered in a sarcastic or ironic tone. Poorly written and plotted with threats of unavoidable death on Christmas (Oh, joy!). Any connection to the 12 days of Christmas song is fumbled early on and then omitted for remainder of movie.
Only redeeming virtue to the movie is that someone had the good sense to omit the extremely obnoxious alarm clock from the start of subsequent days after a few occurrences.
Only redeeming virtue to the movie is that someone had the good sense to omit the extremely obnoxious alarm clock from the start of subsequent days after a few occurrences.
Top Gun: Maverick
(2022)
Home movie while banging left and right
27 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Ever back in the day go to someone's house and sit thru home movies of their vacation? Maverick felt like sitting thru Tom's telling of his current personal movie with cuts of his old home movies. From the opening clip with Tom vouching for what you are about to see was not CGI, I got a bad feeling how it was a shot and who wad in it was more important than a story. Borrowing directly from Star Wars IV, Dambusters, etc we get a lame plot of gee can we hit a difficult target that's well defended. And after we're done shooting the hole we'll have aerial combat. The scenes of Tom bouncing first left and then right in his cockpit are shown over and over after we have to watch other pilots doing same. As for plot, we need pilots in planes because there is GPS jamming but that didn't stop a hoard of cruise missiles from flying thru the same airspace to bash the enemy airbase. An airbase that is home to scary 6th generation fighters we're told again and again. Later we find out those fighters are parked exposed on runways while a protective hangar is being used to shelter a remnant F14. Coincidence? I think the better movie would have been Tom training to kids for the attack only to have the timetable advanced. To save their lives, Tom flies overwatch in the skunk works plane from Scene 1 and engages the enemy's high tech fighters in the next evolution in air combat. Now that's Top Gun 2.0!
Imitation General
(1958)
Because I can't give Glenn Ford one star
13 July 2019
What a terrible excuse for a movie. No plot or dramatic tension No reason why it had to be a general. For the few extras they bothered to use he could have been a captain. Cute looking Frenchwoman played by a Finnish actress and she fusses around screaming more than speaking.
Star Trek Beyond
(2016)
A casual Trekkie since the 60's but this might be the last one.
2 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
In hindsight, perhaps it would have been better to not have the "thank you for coming to the movie" message from the cast right before this stinker. Wish I could have my money back; at least I didn't pay for 3D!
So much wrong even to a non-scientist who just wants his sci-fi science to make sense and be consistent.
Does every Star Trek movie have to end with the same one on one clash sequence merely swapping out who's battling from the crew this time around? All this fuss about the crew sticking together and twigs in a bundle and, yet, when it comes to saving the world let two men duke it out.
As for the "breakthrough" gay scene, writers bailed and, while showing obvious intimate scenes of hetro couples, wimped out for a scene that could have easily been a brother/male relative and his child meeting a male crew member at a spaceport gateway. Perhaps that was why the campaign to explain the 5 second scene to us ahead of time during PR run up.
So much wrong even to a non-scientist who just wants his sci-fi science to make sense and be consistent.
Does every Star Trek movie have to end with the same one on one clash sequence merely swapping out who's battling from the crew this time around? All this fuss about the crew sticking together and twigs in a bundle and, yet, when it comes to saving the world let two men duke it out.
As for the "breakthrough" gay scene, writers bailed and, while showing obvious intimate scenes of hetro couples, wimped out for a scene that could have easily been a brother/male relative and his child meeting a male crew member at a spaceport gateway. Perhaps that was why the campaign to explain the 5 second scene to us ahead of time during PR run up.
Jason Bourne
(I) (2016)
Loved the Where's Waldo review
2 August 2016
I also thought there was very little plot and too much scanning of crowds and cars in lieu of actual suspense. Did anyone think Bourne would not make it to the climax so he therefore had to elude such chases?
Of course, I was distracted for a good part of the movie wondering if CIA Agent Lee was played by a clone of Natalie Portman. She almost looked like NP but not quite. I thought it was because I had not seen her in a movie in a while. This is not a slam against the actual actress who seemed to be the only one who tried to portray her role without a 100% depiction of characters motivations and anxieties.
Of course, I was distracted for a good part of the movie wondering if CIA Agent Lee was played by a clone of Natalie Portman. She almost looked like NP but not quite. I thought it was because I had not seen her in a movie in a while. This is not a slam against the actual actress who seemed to be the only one who tried to portray her role without a 100% depiction of characters motivations and anxieties.
The Singing Revolution
(2006)
Watch out for extremely violent images
29 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Movie barely underway complete with lingering shots of piles of corpses. But the film makers went to far with their gratuitous inclusion of a Nazi officer executing an adult male with fully depicted pistol shot to the head.
I understand a film dealing with the liberation of Estonia and its people requires addressing the oppression and violence they suffered. But an opening montage including an actual execution of a real person who was an Estonian son and comrade and perhaps a brother and a father was itself ruthless.
He may have been an innocent victim as the Nazis loved to intimidate through executions. He may have been a member of the Estonian resistance, caught and executed. Whichever he was, I guarantee you he did not give up his life for the sake of bringing drama to a documentary. His memory deserves a more respectful fate.
I understand a film dealing with the liberation of Estonia and its people requires addressing the oppression and violence they suffered. But an opening montage including an actual execution of a real person who was an Estonian son and comrade and perhaps a brother and a father was itself ruthless.
He may have been an innocent victim as the Nazis loved to intimidate through executions. He may have been a member of the Estonian resistance, caught and executed. Whichever he was, I guarantee you he did not give up his life for the sake of bringing drama to a documentary. His memory deserves a more respectful fate.
Brooklyn
(2015)
Really wanted to give this movie a ten **spoiler of a sort**
1 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
A wonderful movie experience in the telling of the story of a young women discovering herself and her place in the world. Remarkable for her not being dependent on men or her elder female relatives to define what she wants out of her life. It was one of those movies you want to go on and on telling their story.
So want to give this movie a ten but can't because of one thing. If you have not seen the movie, perhaps you should stop reading as I do not want to prejudice your viewing ahead of time.
****** ********* ********** ******* ********** ********* ***********
The director and/or cinematographer have chosen to repeatedly use a sort of rolling motion when filming characters at medium distance from the camera. This occurs quite often during dialogue among characters. Unfortunately once I noticed it I could not stop seeing it. I'm of the opinion that technique used in a movie should never get in the way of immersion into the film especially for those watching in a theater setting. My sole exception are those beautifully framed "art" shots that make you say "Wow!" while watching.
Having noticed it early on in the movie, I had plenty of time to think about whether the motion was intended to enhance the moment or pass on subliminal expression/emotion to the viewer. Then I thought it was to add some sort of realism in experiencing the characters' conversation. However, my recall of talking or watching others talk does not include a sort of "at sea" rolling motion so that's not it.
Very glad I went but wish I could have totally enjoyed it. Oh well.
So want to give this movie a ten but can't because of one thing. If you have not seen the movie, perhaps you should stop reading as I do not want to prejudice your viewing ahead of time.
****** ********* ********** ******* ********** ********* ***********
The director and/or cinematographer have chosen to repeatedly use a sort of rolling motion when filming characters at medium distance from the camera. This occurs quite often during dialogue among characters. Unfortunately once I noticed it I could not stop seeing it. I'm of the opinion that technique used in a movie should never get in the way of immersion into the film especially for those watching in a theater setting. My sole exception are those beautifully framed "art" shots that make you say "Wow!" while watching.
Having noticed it early on in the movie, I had plenty of time to think about whether the motion was intended to enhance the moment or pass on subliminal expression/emotion to the viewer. Then I thought it was to add some sort of realism in experiencing the characters' conversation. However, my recall of talking or watching others talk does not include a sort of "at sea" rolling motion so that's not it.
Very glad I went but wish I could have totally enjoyed it. Oh well.
Tomorrowland
(2015)
Worst big budget movie ever - skip it and btw its not for young kids
18 June 2015
Proof that sometimes the money has to override the director's ego and get some real writers involved. I'm assuming Bird didn't try to fix this huge pile on nonsense else why wouldn't he ask to have his name taken off the writing credits. I agree with so many other reviewers that the violence towards characters human or not should not be shown to children.
I'll just cite one bit of writing nonsense. There is a "bomb" that causes time to pause within its blast radius. But wears off at a rate slow enough for a character to extract her hand and jump out of the way before wave energy blast hits her.
It's winding down at theaters and let it just disappear. If I could shoot the movie through its heart with a Tomorrowland ray gun I would.
Don't go to it at a discount theater, don't rent from a box machine, don't pay for a cable viewing, don't buy the DVD even from a discount bin, and, most importantly, write a letter to your library objecting ahead of time in case it would buy a DVD or two.
I'll just cite one bit of writing nonsense. There is a "bomb" that causes time to pause within its blast radius. But wears off at a rate slow enough for a character to extract her hand and jump out of the way before wave energy blast hits her.
It's winding down at theaters and let it just disappear. If I could shoot the movie through its heart with a Tomorrowland ray gun I would.
Don't go to it at a discount theater, don't rent from a box machine, don't pay for a cable viewing, don't buy the DVD even from a discount bin, and, most importantly, write a letter to your library objecting ahead of time in case it would buy a DVD or two.
A musical without lyrics
5 February 2015
While I agree with the many reviewers who compile criticisms of the movie, I find myself reflecting instead on the role the music played in the movie. I don't recall a movie where the music including songs, orchestra pieces, and, sometimes, just beats were used to tell essential parts of the story. There are plenty of movies with great soundtracks or masterful musical themes but something entirely different is at work here.
Appreciating what was done with the music got me through the many difficult sequences of dialog although I admit there were some sparkling scenes such as Edward Norton's first rehearsal with Michael Keaton on stage.
I don't know where this type of movie-making can go but I'm very interested to see more.
Appreciating what was done with the music got me through the many difficult sequences of dialog although I admit there were some sparkling scenes such as Edward Norton's first rehearsal with Michael Keaton on stage.
I don't know where this type of movie-making can go but I'm very interested to see more.
Les Misérables
(2012)
Don't confuse a great musical with a mediocre movie rendition
20 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
When it comes to converting a famous stage musical to a movie, I expect the outcome to be more than what the stage version provides - great lyrics, great melodies, and great staging wrapped into a great experience. Otherwise, see the stage version! So I'm unhappy to report Hooper and company fail to fully embrace what movies can do and instead give us a half-breed of musical and film.
The opening number's awful CGI rendition seems intentionally lame as if to say we know a movie scene in 2012 could be more but we choose not to provide that experience. Same with the later rooftop scene with Javert's singing to the stars.
My distraction as to what this effort is adding to Les Miz's legacy was then compounded by the wait for opening credits which never came. Finally, you realize the curtain has lifted and what we are seeing is an overblown stage production except this time retakes were allowed! Geez, handed the opportunity to adapt possibly the greatest modern musical into a movie and that's what we get?
To its credit as a filmed stage production, I've always suffered thru "Master of the House" but not this time. Clever business, excellence in details, and great acting/singing by the three name duo of Cohen and Carter made that number finally worthy of its place in the show.
While much is made of the mega-stars, for my money Samantha Barks as adult Éponine shines brightest with her singing.
The most flattering thing my wife and I could say about the movie was we finally heard more lyrics in an understandable manner than ever before. There were a few chorus numbers with unintelligible voices and as always the duets and trios are near impossible to discern. If you don't know the lyrics, relax and enjoy the harmonious sounds of voices and orchestra together.
Warning to parents: The young rascal in the revolution dies a harsh death by gunfire; an untimely choice by Hooper given the recent slaughter of innocent school kids. Why was I not surprised the most movie-like aspect of the film was the gore and dying? When it came to violence, Hooper suddenly embraces film's ability to focus, zoom, and make you confront the images on the screen.
The opening number's awful CGI rendition seems intentionally lame as if to say we know a movie scene in 2012 could be more but we choose not to provide that experience. Same with the later rooftop scene with Javert's singing to the stars.
My distraction as to what this effort is adding to Les Miz's legacy was then compounded by the wait for opening credits which never came. Finally, you realize the curtain has lifted and what we are seeing is an overblown stage production except this time retakes were allowed! Geez, handed the opportunity to adapt possibly the greatest modern musical into a movie and that's what we get?
To its credit as a filmed stage production, I've always suffered thru "Master of the House" but not this time. Clever business, excellence in details, and great acting/singing by the three name duo of Cohen and Carter made that number finally worthy of its place in the show.
While much is made of the mega-stars, for my money Samantha Barks as adult Éponine shines brightest with her singing.
The most flattering thing my wife and I could say about the movie was we finally heard more lyrics in an understandable manner than ever before. There were a few chorus numbers with unintelligible voices and as always the duets and trios are near impossible to discern. If you don't know the lyrics, relax and enjoy the harmonious sounds of voices and orchestra together.
Warning to parents: The young rascal in the revolution dies a harsh death by gunfire; an untimely choice by Hooper given the recent slaughter of innocent school kids. Why was I not surprised the most movie-like aspect of the film was the gore and dying? When it came to violence, Hooper suddenly embraces film's ability to focus, zoom, and make you confront the images on the screen.
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