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suraj-simon
Reviews
Suicide Squad (2016)
WB don't know what they're doing.
This film is a catalogue of errors. First, the trailer was really good, so good WB got that team to edit the film when all they edit is trailers.
Then WB saw how much money Deadpool made and told them to edit into a comedy, or sorts.
Which explains why the squad had two intros and the story made no sense but not why killer croc was only there for one reason.
He was only there to plant bombs underground via the sewers and come to think about it, who puts a camera on a boomerang?! The camera wouldn't be so steady...right?
And the baddies had super strength and could kill you with one touch but a bunch of criminals with no superpowers held them off.
I stopped trusting trailers after this.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)
The dceu ends with a damp squid.
Warner Brothers lied to us. They told us a certain actress was barely in this film, they even said 'look, she isn't in any of the trailers!'
But her and her terrible acting are still here though, mix that with a complete lack of chemistry between her and the lead and you have a recipe for a box office disaster.
I really shouldn't be surprised Warner Brothers did this. They've shown they don't like their fans and can't make decent films. When they do, they decide to not release it and use it as a tax write off.
They really over did it with the jokes and even put one in the pointless post credit scene too.
The atrocious dceu is over, let a new atrocious dceu begin.
In the Fire (2023)
In the bin.
An uninspiring story told with an underwhelming style from one dimensional actors and actresses with zero chemistry doomed this film.
The costumes along with the attempts acting and filming style were a constant reminder I was watching a film.
There will be zealots for a certain actress in this film but hopefully this travesty of both sound and vision will make them realise they wasting time and money on a lost cause.
Box office revenue isn't always an indication of a films worth but judging by the real reviews and the global box office revenues, we can now say some times it can be spot on.
City of Lies (2018)
Amazing
20 years after the shooting of Biggie Smalls, journalist Jackson (Whitaker) seeks redemption with an article on the murder.
Teaming up with detective Poole (Depp) he uncovers a much more sinister story of murder, money and corruption.
Brilliantly cast with amazing performances, this is this generations JFK.
Would definitely recommend.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Terrible heist movie, stupid zombie movie.
This was billed as a heist movie with a twist, the twist being zombies. However, this is an American film, so they added an extra twist thinking this would pass as suspense.
Usually in heist movies you hire people you know & trust or you have a common enemy (Rififi, The Usual Suspects) or strangers as a plot device (Reservoir Dogs) however, in this movie the lead screws his friends over their cut of the money and hire strangers he saw on the internet.
The big twist is the man that hired them was never after money, he needed zombie blood for some reason.
Which begs the question. Why didn't he just ask them to retrieve zombie blood?
Watch two separate heist and zombie films instead.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
What were they thinking?
Terrible film. The story is silly, even for a bond filmed. The dubbing is really noticeable and the fight scenes are badly choreographed. They keep on zooming in on them, it's almost like they knew they were bad and zoomed in on them in editing.
The effects budget must have been small as the green screen on the bond films before and after this were better.
You can (and should) avoid this if you're catching up on the bond films.
Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
This figuratively turned to crap 5 minutes in.
MotOE always starts like Bond, with Poirot finishing a job which may have an effect on the murder. This leads to Poirot doing something so out of character that I'm sure no one read the book or understood Poirot as a person.
The directing is terrible to, when they're inspecting the murder scene all you see is the top of their heads.
Check out the vastly superior version made by ITV and starring David Suchet.
It Chapter Two (2019)
IT....should have been better.
First things first, this is a film but it is not a scary film.
Chapter two was always going to be a hard sell, what with chapter one having children in peril. Which is always scarier than adults.
What didn't help its cause was scenes with laughable cgi where practical special effects would have worked better and turning penny-wise into a drooling cross eyed idiot.
No spoilers but the scene in the flat with Jessica Chastain and the park scene with Bill Hader had the cinema in hysterics. Something that I've never seen before.
The casting was spot on and that is the film's one saving grace.
Hellboy (2019)
Why?
The relationship between Hellboy and Bloom was virtually non-existent, the jokes didn't land and some times Hellboy was a secret and other times he's strolling through London or attending a Mexican wrestling match.
Also, did David Habour go to the Bane school of movie dialogue? Because I hardly understood him and add that to a weird face that looks nothing like the Hellboy from the comic and a limp script and it doesn't surprise me it's doing so badly in the box office.