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onesky_onedestiny
Reviews
Sci-Fighter (2004)
The power of Gamecube.....only crap
Story in short - old man wants to train fbi agents, buys gamecube, puts sticker over said gamecube and turns it into a powerful combat training game.....WHICH GOES BAD! Bad story, half arsed effects and crap choreography aside this isn't a bad film. If you should think that there is anything besides those three points. Well, there is some quality face-pulling.
The only reason i would give this a two is because its so bad its laughable, and the monkey ninja is hilarious in the fact he doesn't actually do anything other than hop about like a monkey. On the floor. I could get a 9 year old to do just as good a job, and he'd probably do it with more gusto.
In summary, rent/buy if its amazingly cheap (like a quid) or you really have nothing better to do. If you like Forbidden Warrior, you'd probably sit through most of this without laughing. I send out my pity.
Go see Kung Pow or Shaolin Soccer instead. Now.
Forbidden Warrior (2005)
School Pantomime anyone?
Where do i start on such a monumental film? To steal a quote this film makes Lord of the Rings look like an epic, but of course i wouldn't make such wild claims without backing them up so read on... I started watching this film with out any expectations, saw a nice title section to lure me in but it became quite apparent that most of the actors weren't taking the roles as seriously as the plot (characters like Mouse - a Grima Wormtongue wannabe, Tall Tall - he's...um...tall, and Gibberish - a man who can only speak random words which apparently can be translated into fluid English descriptions of battle, watch and see). While watching you can't decide whether it is laughing at itself or taking itself too seriously..mixing "emotional scenes" and some fairly good choreography with the bad placement and overuse of effects of Billy Zane's "Invincible". Sometimes you wonder why there are so many western actors in a film set in what appears to be medieval Mongolia (or Chinese - there is no actual placement reference i can see apart from the reference to Khans). To summarise - a very American take on an eastern style film. Fails by employing actors who don't want to take it seriously, harming the entire cast by making them look bad (if they try to act), using special effects at every chance, poor sound effects, and above all when a person gets stabbed through the heart with a large sword you would expect it to at least leave a small exit wound on his back, no?