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djdogmanfish
Reviews
Fallout (2024)
Good but not great
I really enjoyed this series. I've never played the games but I felt this was really good in establishing the world of Fallout and they made everything easy to understand. The acting across the board is really well done and the actors were all really well cast.
My primary complaint about the series is two things: The first being there isn't a whole lot of character development. Our main characters Lucy, Maximus, and the Ghoul largely end the season on the dame footing where they began. The second being the insular characters are honestly more interesting than the main characters. The doctor is an interesting character whom we just abruptly lose. The radio DJ obsessed with string instruments is one and done. The tonic salesman/doctor "scientist" guy pops up and just as quickly disappears. These characters are just here to show how strange this world is, but honestly, they're so good that I found myself wanting more on them and less of the main characters.
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
This show is made for dumb people to feel smart
This show is not good. The writing and jokes are terrible. The only way for the audience to know they are in fact jokes is the imposed laugh track. It's hard to pinpoint which trope is the most aggravating; the genius nerds that can't understand normal social construct, or the dumb blonde that goes from guy to guy to guy and can't figure out what the nerds are joking about. It's classic nerd culture written by an outsider. Then there's the "make fun of the foreigner and their ways" trope, and the classic "horny guy who can't take 'no' for an answer" trope.
Every once in a while, they'll throw in a joke featuring a math equation, and another character will lay out what the joke means (exactly how normal people talk in real life somewhere, I guess). This show treats it's audience like they're dumb, and the Mountain Dew guzzling Neanderthals on the other end of the screen just gobble it up and go to bed thinking "my, how smart I am".
Like all Chuck Lorre shows, this can safely be passed over without a threat to one's intelligence or social standing.
The Little Mermaid (2023)
A good movie if you have no sense of hearing
I'm going to start with my praises. This movie is visually stunning. The character designs are very well done. The settings are picturesque to the point where you feel like you're a part of it. I especially like the use of colors from coral reefs to the mermaids own individual styles.
I will praise the main actor as Ariel. She has a great voice, and she did really well interacting with basically nothing because alot of her underwater scenes were mass CGI.
Now for the negatives, which are aplenty. Was there no voice director or dialogue coach? Did anyone actually watch the original film? The reason why I say this is the majority of lines across the board are spoken in a borderline monotone voice. The original cartoon voice actors had great voice intonation, the dialogue was musical. Do yourself a favor and watch the Sebastian joke about dealing with teenagers in both films, the new version almost sounds like he's reading it off cue cards off screen.
Secondly, I know we need to meet a quota for new music but the new songs just don't resound like the originals. The prince's song is lackluster at best, which makes me think the original movie had it right when they basically made him a secondary character. Ariel loses her voice and she has a song? So I know it's supposed to be her inner monolog but to me it just undercuts her predicament when she's constantly singing. It's almost like Disney wasn't sure if the actor could carry her own without speaking.
The songs carried over from the original movie were so poorly done. They didn't have the bombastic show stopping style of the original. Poor Unfortunate Souls should have brought the roof down, and I believe Melissa McCarthy could have done it, it just felt like she was being reigned in.
V/H/S (2012)
So much potential wasted
I don't mind shaky cameras and found footage. I found most of this film really enjoyable and it kept me on the edge of my seat.
What kept me frustrated throughout the film is the amount of toxic masculinity in this film. You can make a good horror movie without a guy constantly saying "take your clothes off" while filming and the girl repeatedly saying "no I don't want to". I get it, there are people like this and the point is for these characters to get their comeuppance but the sheer amount of "bros" killed this movie for me.
Once you get past all of that, there are some really fun vignettes that explore some new ground. There's a really good film in there that gets mired by dumb mid to late 2000's horror tropes.
One Piece (2023)
I'm actually pleasantly surprised
There have been numerous articles talking about how hard they worked on this and how much the creator had a hand in it. I chalked it up to the used car salesman routine. This is actually really well done. The actors do a great job, and even pick up some of the mannerisms of their characters. The story is more concise and deviates but you have to expect that when you condense a whole story arc to 8 episodes.
The cool part is it's not a carbon copy of the cartoon, it adds more depth to some of the characters, like Garp and Koby.
I was worried about how they would handle CGI but it surprisingly holds up. The settings are really well made up as well.
This was a really great watch.
The Invitation (2015)
Red flags and missed opportunities.
Let me start by saying that so many people are defending the movie because it's a slow burn on purpose and whatnot. I have watched many slow burn thrillers that were well done, this is not one of them.
For starters: who are we rooting for? It's a house full of rich entitled millennials. We get it, you have money. One of the biggest crimes is decorating your 7 year old's room in tacky gray, white, and black ink blot art. Get that kid some power rangers or super heroes.
Our main character spends 3/4's of the movie doing an impersonation of a tree stump, and by the time he finally emotes it's too little too late.
Finally: even the most dense person in the world could get that some weird stuff is going on here. Watching alot of horror, I'm used to people being clueless but seriously all the signs are there:
-couple disappears for two years without a word.
-pops back up qnd sends a random dinner invite.
-a house in the Hollywood Hills with bars on the windows and the couple keeps locking the doors on their guests.
-the cult pitch video where you watch a woman die.
Seriously, all the signs are there.
What would have made the slow burn worthwhile is actually decent action at the end. Everything was over too quickly, there was little to no heart wrenching action or suspense.
Meg 2: The Trench (2023)
My expectations were low and I still was disappointed
Let me start by saying a sequel about a giant prehistoric killer shark is bound to fall short of a masterpiece in film. I really enjoyed the first Meg movie, even though it itself is not the greatest movie ever. The problem with this movie is it has too much going on. There are many prehistoric animals, underwater mining, a guy training a shark Jurassic World style, diving exosuits that can crush concrete blocks, mercenaries, a father and daughter finding common ground, at one point it's a buddy cop Die Hard esque movie, so much going on.
The villains in this film are underwhelming. The CGI is one step above a Sharknado film. This just should have been so much better.
Smile (2022)
Just not good.
This movie had an interesting premise and the trailer looked promising. The execution is pretty lackluster. First of all, this movie doesn't break any new ground. All the camera angles, character beats, and jump scares have been done in other horror movies ad nauseum. The majority of this movie is a snore fest. Even the jump scares were predictable. I found myself calling out jump scares before they happened. My biggest annoyance is the lack of character development. The main character goes through all the basic horror tropes on how not to handle a crisis. At one point the main character alludes to her character growth after being around another character, which is funny because she is the same from the beginning of the film to the end.
The Flash (2023)
Really disjointed film
Let me start by saying there is a good movie in there somewhere. The end result is very disjointed. I found the second half more enjoyable than the first half. You can tell by watching this film that it had production issues. An example is there are two scene where Barry Allen is told that Back to the Future has a different actor playing Marty McFly.
The first half of the film suffers in many areas. Barry's coworkers are needlessly cruel. Why are these two so hostile? As far as we know, Barry is just late all the time. There's also no resolution in that situation, no comeuppance.
When Barry changes the timeline and he meets 18 year old Barry, whose mother had never died, the film becomes increasingly unbearable. Firstly, is 18 year old burnout Barry written by a 70 year old who has never smoked weed before? 18 year old Barry is so hard to watch and is grating on my eyes and ears, as are his roommates. The scenes with 18 year old Barry and his roommates are wholly unnecessary. The film can be shaved down and streamlined by removing that whole side plot altogether. We don't need another Barry, let alone the whole unnecessary subplot of giving him powers. Get to Bruce Wayne and Supergirl quicker.
My main complaint is while I love the big reveal of the other DC universes (the Nicolas Cage Superman vs Jon Peter's giant spider ruled), I don't like how the other universes are primarily featuring deceased actors. It was almost like Warner Bros wanted to save some money. There are a number of cameos I would have loved, like the other Flash actors (Grant Gustin, John Welsey Shipp), Brandon Routh's Superman, Smallville characters, heck even Shaq's John Henry Irons Steel. Instead we got cameos by mostly deceased actors whom the mostly younger audiences probably don't know about.
In closing; the second half of this film is really good, minus the multiverse cameos that felt really cheap. If I could change this film, I'd cut out alternate Barry altogether, which would trim down the film considerably and make it more concise. Have Barry in the alternate world, have Zod appear, have Barry go to Bruce for help and it's Keaton Batman, they get Supergirl, and it's essentially the same movie but quicker. Instead of Ezra Miller making repeated costume changes and using CGI to have two of him in multiple scenes, get an alternate universe Justice Leaguer, like another Flash who sees the speed force affected by Barry's actions, or maybe introduce a new superhero and use this film as a test for that character to see how audiences react to them, like a Booster Gold, or an alternate Green Lantern, or Black Canary.
Fall (2022)
Not sure who I'm supposed to root for
Okay so Becky, her husband, and their friend go mountain climbing. The husband dies. Becky, rightfully so, grieves. Her friend tells her she needs to live life and do things that make her feel alive. We get to the plot of the film now, which is to climb a 2,000 foot high television tower that is slated to be torn down. This results in the friend also dying. So here's my problem with the movie: the whole time her husband (who can't say "I love you" red flags galore) and her friend have her doing these death defying stunts. She has no personality other than what the people around her make her do. We're supposed to root for her? The film even ends on the quote the friend said about doing things that make you feel alive. How is that a quote to end the movie on when the person the quote is attributed to is vulture food? It's basically the film saying the characters made the right choice to do what they did and damn the years of ongoing therapy that is the main character's future. This was quite obviously written by a man(men). The two main characters are just unlikable. The main character has nothing that sets her apart as an individual. The friend is the most toxic white girl stereotype complete with selfie stick, push up bra showing tons of cleavage, and even proudly using the word "hashtag" in sentences. I can't root for either of these people because they're not fleshed out people, they're caricatures. This movie was not good at all. I found myself constantly looking at the time remaining.
Rock-A-Doodle (1991)
Wow is this bad.
There are a lot of reviewers that are rating this movie with nostalgia tinted glasses. This movie is rough for several reasons:
1. A clearly Elvis Presley influenced story in the early 90's. This was dated when it came out. What early 90's kid is an Elvis fan?
2. You can tell the voice work pool in the early 90's was very small because Don Bluth has found the most annoying voice actors for this film. Some of these characters' voices are so grating, having someone stick a power drill into my ear drum is almost more preferable.
3. Repetitious elements in the film. If you missed the main hero's name at the start of the film (Chantacleer) don't worry, because his name is going to be repeated conservatively 500 more times.
4. The music is awful. I want to repeat my earlier gripe on the Elvis homage. All the songs in this film are terrible, aside from the evil Owls song.
5. Who is this for? It's a kids' movie, but there are alot of adult themes, like Chantacleer's love interest (apparently she was more scandalous but they edited her down to be more friendly with children).
6. The plot makes zero sense. The whole reason Chantacleeer leaves the farm is he doesn't crow in time for the sun to come up. It's revealed that the sun will come up without him. So the farm animals shun him and run him off as a fake. But then they need him to crow so the sun comes up? Which is it?
7. Child acting is hard. Many child actors have been subject to bullying and abuse and it's cruel the way they're treated by so called fans. That being said, they couldn't find a better choice to play the main character? I found myself rooting for the characters that kept shooing this little boy in cat form away.
This was a hard watch as both a kid and adult. It's dollar bin Disney. I like the idea of Don Bluth not liking the way Disney operates, and striking out on his own to make healthy competition. I don't know if it was a low budget issue, or simply the creators were so out of touch with reality, but this is a major swing and a miss.
History of the World: Part II (2023)
A Mel Brooks production in name only
I hadn't seen the first History of the World in years, and was super excited to see this. Immediately after watch this, I watched the original again and the differences are night and day.
Good comedy is like poetry or music. If you watch the original History of the World, you'll notice Mel Brooks will hit a particular note, and then he'll move on. The sequel, which is very Nick Kroll, will hit a comedic note, and it will play that note to death. Some of the jokes that go on too long weren't even funny in the first place.
Some of the running stories land, some of them do not. This isn't so much a problem for a maybe two hour movie, but for 8 hour long episodes, it can really drag down the viewing experience.
Lastly, my biggest gripe is the same gripe I had with the show Velma: the amount of meta jokes is fun at first, but wears out it's welcome really quick.
My advice is still to History of the World Part I.
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
I wanted to like this more
This has alot of the right ingredients to make a great movie. Before I really get into my review I have to acknowledge that making this film into a masterpiece was a daunting task given the loss of Chadwick Boseman, and it's so hard to replicate how incredible the first movie was. At times I found my attention starting to drift, so there were times where I had to rewind to catch up on what I missed.
The biggest hit to this film is the runtime. This movie is so loooooong. There was so much good in it, I like the backstory of Namor's people. I think we could have slimmed down several parts, like the Cambridge section, for example. The action scenes are also a downgrade for me, there's just not much in the way of memorable action.
I have to praise the acting and the world building. Angela Bassett commands so many great scenes. Letitia Wright really steps up as a lead. I was hesitant going in, but she really does an impressive job. The attention to detail in both Wakanda and Talokan just blew my mind. The love and care given to Meso-American culture was beautiful.
I wish I could give it more stars. Alot of thought came into the making of this film, it just missed the mark.
National Treasure: Edge of History: Bad Romance (2023)
Shrug
More young adult romantic entanglements and less clues and puzzles. I don't really care for any of these people, or their problems. Honestly they could take all the National Treasure parts of this whole season and easily fit them all into a full length movie, and it would probably be better.
I don't care for the love triangle. Neither of the male romantic interests are likeable. You have the one moody musician with daddy and grandpa issues, or you have the friend zone guy who lies and doesn't believe in her when it counts. She can do so much better.
The most interesting character is the villain, who I will add, actually puzzle solves in a realistic manner, unlike the protagonists. I honestly want to learn more about the antagonist. More of her, less of the Riverdale rejects.
Gekijôban Sword Art Online Progressive Hoshi naki yoru no Aria (2021)
This could have been better
While this is mostly good, the biggest gripe I have is what I call the Star Wars prequel treatment. My problem is I'm not a fan of when in the main series/saga two characters meet, and then down the road the creators make a prequel where those same characters keep running into each other. Did we really need Kirito and Asuna to meet and converse twice before the initial meeting in the original series? What did this add? A different character could have filled the Kirito role and it would have made more sense. It didn't even have to be a new character, it could have been an already established character. What it comes down to is the creators were probably too worried that fans would be mad that Asuna and Kirito don't share time until two thirds through the movie. Give the fans more credit.
National Treasure: Edge of History: Charlotte (2022)
It's getting better (slowly)
This episode was better than previous eps. It was great seeing Justin Bartha as Riley again, and the hunt is starting to get interesting. My biggest concerns are the same throughout the season: the running social and political commentary, characters having prior knowledge too conveniently, etc etc. I do have to ask; is this series here just to highlight Jake Austin Walker's musical career? It seems like he has to play a song every episode. Don't get me wrong, he's a talented musician, but it just seems like Disney is trying to shoehorn in this person because they think he'll be the next big thing in music.
National Treasure: Edge of History: Graceland Gambit (2022)
I want to like this
This show has some good aspects to it. My biggest problem is the characters fit into whatever plot gap they are needed. Characters don't need to have prior knowledge of events, places, and people. The group settles on the clue in this episode too conveniently. There's no set up, no prior allusions, nothing. In this episode, the group realizes that the latest clue is in Graceland and Elvis was a "Treasure Protector" as well. The whole group seems to have more information on Elvis Presley than the average person, and I'm not saying no one in Gen Z is an Elvis fan, but let's be real, this was pretty unrealistic. My advice would be, instead of making everyone a kind of sort of Elvis expert, make one person an expert, maybe insert a line about their parent or grandparent being obsessed with Elvis.
National Treasure: Edge of History (2022)
We'll see
For the moment, I'm giving it a five out of ten. I want to like this. I don't mind the lack of Nicolas Cage, because he can be his own worst enemy sometimes. The story itself is interesting enough. My primary critique is I wish Disney would use more subtlety in pushing social and political commentary. We can have a strong female protagonist and we can send the message of how wrongfully we treat immigrants in the United States, AND make it tasteful. These are stories that SHOULD be told, I am in favor of them, but if they're told in the wrong way then they'll only push people away. This could be a great show that drives home an empowering narrative, my advice is to keep the narrative in the background, we don't need to be reminded every other scene that men are the worst and everyone hates illegal immigrants, we get enough of that on the nightly news.
Dan in Real Life (2007)
Romantic comedy?
Dan In Real Life came in the time where romantic comedies were moving in the direction of more cringe comedy. Personally I'm not a fan of this Era of romantic comedies.
Firstly: we're told we should like Dan. He's a widowed husband of 3 daughters. He's trying to make things work. This is the guy we should be rooting for. He meets a woman (unbeknownst to him, she is dating his brother) and they hit it off (sort of). So for the rest of the film, everyone is at a family get together and they try navigating through the delicate three way relationship mess. This SHOULD work.
Secondly: the reason it doesn't work is Dan's brother, who is dating his would be love interest, is a nice guy who treats her well and they have great chemistry. The writers try inserting some dialogue about how he used to be a major playboy, but it has the stink of test audience backlash so we need to throw things in to illustrate how the brother is wrong for her.
Thirdly: you met and chatted with her for MAYBE three hours. That is not enough time to form a lasting bond that is going to drop a nuke in the entire family dynamic and crush your brother. ESPECIALLY since there is a subplot in the film about one of Dan's daughters claiming she's madly in love with a boy she has been together with for three weeks. If the narrative is that he needs to ease up on his daughter because true love can happen in an instant, then narrative failed.
Lastly: Steve Carell can do so many things. He was great in The Office as a quirky self destructive boss, he was great in the Way Way Back as the antagonistic potential step father, but this movie just feels like an off performance by Carell.
I want to like this movie, but I just can't.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
No idea why all the hate
This was such a fun ride. All the actors brought their A game. This story has so much depth to it. I would dare say that a single watch isn't enough. As I'm writing this, I'm watching it a second time, and the attention to detail is so amazing. There is only one complaint I have, and that is that there is a line in A New Hope that contradicts some of the events in this series, but honestly, a little suspension of disbelief isn't a bad thing. The low reviewers are taking this way too at face value. Just tune in and enjoy it. Don't let the gate Keepers driving down the rating, ranting about their fabricated gripes disaude you from giving this an honest shot.
Halloween (2007)
Halloween gets the Rob Zombie treatment
Honestly, this pretty much just plays to Rob Zombie cultists. The best part of the original Halloween is Michael Myers is an enigma, he's a phantom. So much new horror, and this film is a prime example, feels the need to explain away why a killer is a killer. For whatever reason, audiences are treated as dumb, because filmmakers feel the need to drive home the story of "see this serial killer that just flayed this girl alive? Well he was a kid at one point and the people around him made him into this". Rob Zombie tackled this enterprise with his usual gusto by going ridiculously over the top with how terrible his characters are, adding excessive gore and sexual content. You claim to be a fan of the original, did you notice how subtle John Carpenter goes with the gore and nudity? This is basically a repackaged Devil's Rejects.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Kind of middle of the pack
Upon a second watch, i'm going to have to lower my rating from a 5 to a 3. Whose idea was this? Whoever it was, obviously doesn't watch horror movies because they tried something similar in the Friday the 13th series and it was met with similar condemnation. People tune into Halloween movies to see Michael Myers, not a copycat.
The audience is left with so many questions. For example: at the end of Halloween Kills, Laurie tells Michael she's coming for him, but four years later she goes the complete opposite route and tries to live a life with her granddaughter. Michael is still at large, albeit for four years.
The character of Allison SHOULD be a great character, but instead she get pigeon holed into falling for terrible people (Cameron, Officer Doug, Corey). In the span of four days she falls hard for Corey, who wear a facial expression that shouts "I'm a serial killer" throughout the whole film. While on the subject of Corey, are we supposed to feel bad for him? He legitimately did kill that kid. The very moment he realized the kid was playing a prank on him, he should have tempered his reaction and not gone ballistic on the door, hitting the kid and sending him over the railing to his death.
To get back to Michael Myers, in the last film they established that the more he kills, the stronger he gets, so I was expecting the film to progress with Corey feeding him victims and he gains strength and return to his former power. Unfortunately this never came to be. Instead we get pretty much nothing until the very end of the film.
Who among the filmmakers thought this was good? I defend Halloween Kills, but I cannot defend this.
Cruella (2021)
I just don't get the hype
Everyone around me talks about how good this film is. Watching it all I see is a botched operation conducted with a chainsaw. The music is good but good lord there is so much of it. This is Rocky IV levels of shoehorning in music. This movie treats the audience like it's stupid because it doesn't allow it to come to it's own conclusions. Everything is actively shown, nothing is implied. I knew I was in trouble before the ten minute mark, when Cruella's hatred for Dalmations is explained BY DALMATIONS RUNNING HER MOTHER OFF A CLIFF. That's the caliber of writing that this film employs. Seriously though, I can see trying to humanize some villains, but a woman that wants to drown and skin puppies.........
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
Honestly, better than I thought it would be
Was this perfect? No. Did it recreate that magic from the original? Not wholly. Still, it wasn't a bad film. It had some fun, and I like how they added depth to the Sanderson Sisters. Too many people expect too much. This isn't entirely made for fans from 1993. Disney made an attempt to make this a fun movie that parents who loved the original can share with their children, and I feel they accomplished their goal.
One interesting lesson that Disney seems to be driving home in alot of these villain centric movies is there is never one side to a story. The most vilesome creatures may be that, but oftentimes they become what they are through the actions of others. It's an interesting lesson on human nature.
Come into this movie with open minds and hearts, leave all baggage at the door. Seriously folks, one star ratings? Come on, grow up. The fact that the movie is made should give it another star, let's talk about Battlefield Earth, now THAT deserves a one star rating. Compared to that, this is a masterpiece.