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Reviews
Dirty Love (2005)
Not as bad as you think...WORSE!
I can't remember what brought me to select this on Netflix and have the DVD shipped to me a while back. But somehow this horrifyingly bad, unfunny RomCom made it's way to my door and I popped it into my DVD player and proceeded to watch for what seemed like an eternity what might be the WORST movie I've ever seen - and I've seen a LOT. This movie was a complete mess, the acting, directing, writing, lighting, everything was godawful. I remember thinking none of this is funny, the toilet humor didn't work and it wasn't even a so bad it's funny movie - it was just plain BAD.
I don't remember if I made it to the end, but every single minute watching the film was excruciating - I mean I don't think I've ever experienced literal pain or discomfort before watching a film till I saw this. There as no saving grace to it - even all the female eye candy in the movie was wasted. Eddie Kaye Thomas was about the only thing in the film I wouldn't grade an F.
If I could give this movie a lower vote on IMDb, I would give it no stars, doesn't deserve one.
In my book, this movie is a legitimate candidate for Worst Movie ever made.
(Please note: This review is from a longtime fan of Jenny "Singled Out" McCarthy.)
Deliver Us from Evil (2006)
Boring, overly long, banal documentary
Here's the problem I have with this film. It basically focuses in on one seemingly unrepentant pedophile priest and explains how he was put into that position and protected by the church. It is all stuff we've heard before and really offered me no new insight into the problem that has been made public before. Really, this entire movie could've been condensed into a 10-15 min segment on 20/20 or Dateline. But instead it is a long, drawn out affair that repeatedly bashes you over the head with the same themes and stories we've all heard before. The victims are constantly being thrown in your face so you can sympathize with them and understand the gravity of wrong doing by this priest and the church. Enough already, we get this. If I had watched this film in a theater, I would've definitely walked out on it after 30 minutes or so. Only reason I sat though it was because my sister and brother-in-law chose to watch it.
Don't waste your time unless you've been in the dark about this sort of thing for the last 20 years.
The Last Dragon (1985)
Is this movie great? "Sho'nuff!"
First, to all those out there who think this movie is bad - I say if you're looking for great acting, brilliant writing and Oscar worthy direction - this is not that movie; and for those that have dissed this movie in their comments - you just don't get it.
This movie is a prime example of film-making just for fun. It clearly is intended to be campy and never takes itself too seriously. If at times it has the look and feel of a music video, it's because it was made by music video makers and intended to help sell the great 80's soundtrack and artists featured in the film.
A lot of the haters of this film point to the campy dialogue and bad acting. Well, as Jack-Luminous commentated here already on this - that's because the cast plays the material 100% straight and that's done quite INTENTIONALLY. And for this film it works brilliantly! The ridiculous dialogue being delivered in a straightforward manner by the cast elicits more unintentional and intentional laughs than most straightforward comedies.
The film is also intended clearly as an homage to the kung fu and blaxploitation flick craze of the 1970's. Yet it turns the typical characterizations on its head in recognition of the changing times of the 1980's. (e.g. The hero is a black man who dresses up in traditional Asian garb, eats with chopsticks and acts very decidedly un-black.)This is not done just for effect as the film is aware of the globalization and diversification that is taking place in America and around the world at the time and where would it take place more so than in New York City?
The film may be dated for those who didn't grow up in the 80's or don't like the music of that era. Otherwise, it is an incredibly enjoyable film that delivers a lot of laughs while having at it's core a nice hero story that promotes good values with quite a bit of social commentary and observations about the time thrown in also.
I've seen this film countless times and every time I see it on TV, I can't help but watch and laugh. The Last Dragon is one of those campy films that you wouldn't think you'd see more than once, but find yourself watching over and over.
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I hear they're making a remake of this. Clearly it's not gonna work without major revamping of the script as much of this film is contextualized with the 1980's. Let's hope they come up with something good.
RIP Julius Carry - you'll always be the Shogun of Harlem to us!
Survival Island (2002)
Quite possibly the best Pinata horror movie ever!
Caught this movie on the Sci-Fi channel under the title of Pinata: Survival Island and decided to watch it because Jaime Pressly of My Name is Earl fame was in it (Although, I prefer to think of her as Violet from her turn as Poison Ivy.) Immediately I thought it was somewhat campy, but I couldn't decide if it was a good campy or a bad campy. Anyway, since the story involved a killer Pinata demon I decided to give it a chance and continued to watch. And as I watched, I started to kind of enjoy it. Yes, it has horrible acting, camera work, sound, special effects, and a ridiculous script, story and dialogue - it has it all! But, I couldn't stop watching and laughing.I was fascinated by the premise of a giant killer Pinata demon! (Who the hell thinks this stuff up? You know they had to be on drugs when they came up with this premise!) It also didn't hurt that the girls in the movie were eye candy. Ultimately, I have to say that the movie is definitely watchable if you're in the right frame of mind - there are worse cheesy horror flicks out there than this one. If you're looking for some horror laughs - and it doesn't get much funnier than this movie, this one is worth checking out.
Battle Beneath the Earth (1967)
Classic Cold War Sci-Fi Hock
I remember watching this film a few times as a kid growing up in the cold war fadeout of the late 70's and early 80's.
This is a cheesy B movie sci-fi flick with a very unique idea.
A renegade Chinese general decides to tunnel all the way across the Pacific Ocean with laser boring cars so that he can attack us from underneath with nuclear weapons.
This idea is executed about as well as you can expect from a campy B movie sci-fi. But, the idea and fast paced plot are adequate enough to keep the most ADD movie watcher interested.
Now, I haven't seen this movie in a few years and was actually looking to rent or buy a DVD copy of it. But, unfortunately it's not available in this format yet.
If you want to see it, you'll have to watch it on VHS.
It's a bit hokey, but enjoyable.
I'd like to see it remade and updated with a proper budget and better script and plot.
So You Want to Be a Gambler (1948)
Very funny short!
Hilarious little short on the pitfalls of gambling.
Follows a compulsive gambler on a roller-coaster ride of a day. From drug store pinball and slots to back room casino games and poker.
Reminiscent of the better educational short films on vices we were shown in grade school and high school, but much better.
Very well done and acted.
Worth watching just for the psychic roulette number picking parrot.
Cheesy, but in a very GOOD way.
Check it out if you can.
Currently available on TCM on demand through Comcast.
Q & A (1990)
Excellent Gritty Police Drama
I really loved this movie when it first came out. It was sort of a Serpico for the 90's. The plot is a little convoluted and the movie could have perhaps used a little better screen writing, but the great performances by the magnificent cast more than makes this movie work.
What I really think the movie does best is capture NYC as it was then. The dark side, the corruption of the political, judicial and law enforcement divisions. The not-so subtle racial divisiveness. It's all amazingly real and being a born and bred New Yorker,it was scary to watch, yet all too believable. I loved that all the characters in this movie are flawed and human. There is no real right or wrong in this movie - just shades of gray. This has been done many times in movies before and is nothing new, particularly with Sidney Lumet films, but I can't think of a movie that has done it better.
I saw one user post a criticism for the last five minutes, I can't think of a better ending for this movie. (Spoiler alert.) When Bloomey tells Francis Reilly that it's all over and they're going to do nothing about his investigation but file it away and gives him the hard knock explanations as to why and how the world really works. I was just as floored by this scene the first time I watched it as Francis Reilly is in the movie. I just love this ending. The short epilogue with Jenny Lumet's character is OK and serves to sort of tie up a last loose end in the film.
By the way, to that other commentator about the cheesy Rueben Blades theme song. (Don't double cross the ones you love.") Your not the only one who can't get that cheesy song out of your head whenever you watch this movie.
Perhaps Blades should pursue a career as a jingle songwriter instead, he seems to have a lot of potential talent for it.