ForCenturies Reviews

Ring 2 (1999)

What the hell did I just watch?

[3/10 · 23 June 2016]

I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed Ringu after years of only having the Hollywood remake and its sequel to deal with. When the opportunity arose to finally view the original Japanese versions I turned the lights off and got ready for a scare-fest. What surprised me about Ringu was the fact it was different from The Ring (or should I say the Hollywood remake was different from the original film?) Ringu made a bit more sense than its Hollywood remake, it relied more on the Rosemary's Baby School of Scares and delivered a creepy, satisfying film. This sequel? Not so much.

Perhaps it's the difference in cultures, but having seen (and enjoyed) the Hollywood sequel The Ring Two, and being intrigued by its concept of connection between Samara, Naomi Watts' character's son and water, I figured Ringu 2 would have some sense of familiarity. Instead, Sadako is relegated to almost nothing until the finale, the story (if you can call it that) hops all over the place and character motivations come out of nowhere (Sadako's father embraces death like a martyr after standing around doing nothing for the whole film), and while the main actor in Miki Nakatani has a great face for horror films (her scared face is thoroughly enjoyable!!) the connection to the mother established in the first film dissipates, and we don't even get to see what could have been the most harrowing scene in any horror movie ever (the implication Reiko copied the cursed video, got her son to make her father watch it, essentially making her kill her father), it's all glossed over and thoroughly unsatisfying.

While the Hollywood sequel had crazy water effects and, yes, CGI deer, at least it still had the backbone of the mother-son relationship. While this is technically the third film in the Japanese series, made only a year after the original two, it feels like it's already running out of fuel and I walk into the final film with what are quite possibly the lowest expectations I've ever experienced for a horror sequel, and that's saying something.

Allen Gregory (2011–2023)

I'm sorry, but I love this!

[3 November 2011]

I'm the first to say if something "funny" is actually offensive or just plain not funny. This show is funny.

People have complained that the characters aren't likable - that's kind of the point. The whole point is that he's a fish out of water, and Blind Freddy could tell over the course of the series he'll learn to be a good person.

I love Julie! She's hilarious and was underutilised in the pilot. And as far as I can tell, she is actually the audience surrogate for the show - she doesn't like Allen Gregory's snobby behaviour.

This show reminds me of late-nineties comedies like King of the Hill, South Park, Johnny Bravo, to name a few. Maybe that's why I dig it - I miss when these shows were fresh. I guess with Allen Gregory I'm vicariously experiencing late-nineties television all over again.

And I'm really digging it. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only one who does...

Death Proof (2007)

Hilarious, intentionally. "Scream" meets "Gone In 60 Seconds" (not that Angelina Jolie BS)

[8/10 · 7 October 2011]

I began learning about making films earlier this year (2011) because ever since seeing Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams (or more specifically, the 10 minute film school on the DVD), I have been gangbusters on becoming a film-maker. Not necessarily a director, at least not so much now, but a person who makes moving pictures with sound that entertain people. It's a magical phenomenon when you feel moved, excited, when you cringe, when you laugh, when you cry at a purely fictional piece of work flickering before your eyes.

Of course, most wannabe-film-makers quote Quentin Tarantino as an influence, or more often, the guy we most want to be making the films we want to make. Of course, reading that sentence, you could think "There's nothing wrong with that. Make what you want to make, sounds awesome." However, I think Hollywood, or the viewing public, seem to put so much onto first-timers that hit it big (refer to the recent example of Diablo Cody and Jennifer's Body, a wonderful horror-comedy that never found its audience, obviously on the heels of the smash-hit Juno, which is equally as wonderful). However, I wouldn't jump onto Quentin's defence, especially not in recent years.

Everyone seems to have seen Kill Bill, and because they do, they're automatically a connoisseur of film. And let me set the record straight - "volume" two is much better than one. It's odd - compare the films and they're almost apples and oranges. Volume One will be the cotton candy, the popcorn - in other words, the snack foods that don't quite fill you up. Not much actually happens in the film. It's all set up for volume two, to which two is a brilliant pay-off, a three-course dinner that leaves you full and satisfied. Full of actual character, hilarious wink-and-nod moments, it's the much more satisfying of the two films.

Then along came Death Proof. Of course, another part two of an entire film "Grindhouse", that, too, failed to find an audience beyond its niche target of males 18-35 who love b- movies. The concept of making a b-movie with A-list stars and a huge budget is actually contradictory to philosophy of b-movie-making, however, for Death Proof, I can probably let it slide.

Having seen the film for more times than I care to count, able to recite entire conversations alone, let's just say I'm familiar with it. Having re-watched it around four years after its release to the world and having a grind house break (both movies were wearing out their welcome) I can genuinely say that Death Proof can suck you right back in.

People complain nothing happens, and that's kind of the point. It's anticipation. Wonder why the second set of girls are from the film-world, and not the music-world like the first set? Because it takes ages to make a film, months, even years, and you end up with ninety minutes of coherent footage. If you think about it, it kinda seems a waste, but if done right, you end up with some of the most amazing, funny, moving, and above all else entertaining ninety minutes you can ever see. Best of all, you can relive it with DVDs and Blu-Rays, but I digress. It takes ages to get to the first car crash, but goddamn it's worth it. It takes ages to get to the heart-stopping climax, but goddamn: it's worth it.

This movie is all about anticipation, all about being rewarded with the most thrilling car chase ever filmed for waiting. Besides, you have to build these girls up, build up their personalities, their relationships and make them likable, and if you don't do that, the climax is for nought.

Tarantino may not be the second coming of film, as most of his movies, after seeing them all multiple times seem to blur together (dialogue was beginning to run too long in Death Proof and especially in Inglourious Basterds), and you may never like the guy. However, Death Proof is a laugh-riot, a wink-and-nod homage to the amalgamation of slasher movies and car chase movies at once (think Scream meets Gone In 60 Seconds, and as Tracie Thoms' character puts it - "not that Angelina Jolie BS").

Kurt Russell is the ultimate bad-ass who becomes an absolute pussy once the girls turn the tables, making the hunter become the hunted in a wonderfully devilish (again) part two of the climax.

Having done this film course for most of the year, I've been taught quite a bit about character and character development, and unfortunately (or fortunately, however you want to look at it), most characters don't have gripping, or for that fact apparent, character arcs. They just "are". However, this is an auto-slasher. Who really cares? I just bring it up due to noticing the only one of the girls who actually has an arc is Abernathy (Rosario Dawson) who turns from a somewhat snobbish "I'll tell on you" kind of girl (who's still likable, of course) to, in a snap moment during "ship's mast", a bad ass, cemented by the line "Let's kill this bastard".

I have rambled on long enough and I doubt anyone will actually read this. However, I felt impulsed to write up a review-cum-essay on Death Proof, and Quentin Tarantino, warts and all, having realised how much I not only love this film, but film in general. It's manipulation, of course...but it's the good manipulation. Just don't get me started on Inglourious Basterds' problems.

Up All Night (2011–2012)

Funny, but Rudolph tries to steal the show to no avail

[22 September 2011]

For a show about two people trying to adjust to parental life, the pilot seemed to focus on the seemingly irrelevant character played by Maya Rudolph. Applegate and Arnett didn't have enough room to be their characters and to let the audience grow to love these flawed people.

Like Raising Hope, Up All night uses the "we've had a baby" idea to explore relationships. But unless Maya Rudolph (who I am actually quite a big fan of) butts out this show will go nowhere.

As Anchorman proved, Applegate can certainly do comedy, and of course look absolutely beautiful while doing it. While I have found Arnett to be sometimes one-noted in Arrested Development, he's relateable and vulnerable as the dad who has no idea what to do, and therefore - funny. It's unfortunate the show seems to focus on Maya Rudolph, if it focused on the couple this show would have been much, much more interesting and satisfactory.

Free Agents (2011–2012)

Yes, it's a remake, but goddamn, it's refreshing.

[22 September 2011]

Having recently seen The Smurfs, seeing "normal" Hank Azaria was a bit of a shock, and I'll explain - I'm used to hearing his voice on The Simpsons and commentaries on The Simpsons, and while I know what he looks like, the stuff I've watched never really has him in live-action, the only one from memory I can recall being The Birdcage.

He plays a newly-divorced guy who's just had sex with a widow (the underrated Kathryn Hahn). The show is about these two trying to deal with this development without their colleagues/friends finding out. Or at least, that was the plot of the first episode.

Hahn shines, especially in the second half of the episode counting the pictures of her dead husband. It's being labelled as a "black comedy" and I disagree. Black comedy to me something like Death at a Funeral or Eulogy. Finding comedy from death, or morbid subjects. This is much more like Eastbound and Down, although less funny.

The comedy is slightly sporadic, but the characters are charming, vulnerable and warm, and most of all - likable. I'll certainly buy the Blu-Ray, I'm mightily impressed with what i've seen and will purchase the original British series to tide me over till then.

Wings of Desire (1987)

For an amazingly simple story about love, the execution is horrific.

[3 August 2011]

I have an open mind, I love watching films in general, I love watching films I've never heard of, I love blind-buying films. I love all kinds of films. If you look at my DVD and Blu-Ray collection, you will find animated classics like Pinocchio, Beauty and the Beast, then see films like Saw, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, dance films like Make It Happen and Step Up 3D, dramas like The Runaways and Deep End. I would like to think I have an open mind for many films, I am also excited to see foreign films, with Let The Right One In one of my favourites along with the Fritz Lang's Metropolis.

My lecturer put this film on during one of our classes, and I was feeling like "Yeah, this might be cool, let's give it a go." Ten minutes it with the camera wandering around from seemingly pointless character to seemingly pointless character I felt like grabbing my bag and walking out. I didn't have the head space, which, admittedly isn't the film's fault but I found the film as it went on to be tedious and extremely hard to get through, and am genuinely surprised I didn't fall asleep.

The film is a love story. There you go, I spoiled it. But the way it's told is so complex and you don't really get the fact that it's a love story until the angel is turned human to find Marion, and this doesn't happen until the, let's see, fourteenth hour of the film (okay, maybe 2/3rds).

The editing is atrocious, I felt like I was watching a rough cut or work print.

The concepts in the film are fantastic and universal: of course we all want to break through and fall in love with that one person who has ignited something within us, that's as universal as you can get, but the way it's told is so locked-off and so *not* universal that those who may find enjoyment in the point of the film are invited to walk out as soon as they want to.

I will say this again: the film has an amazing story. It's the execution of the story that is troublesome. It meanders, and for a film that lasts just over two hours it genuinely feels like you're watching something as the entire day passes outside.

I know there are people out there that love this film (otherwise Criterion wouldn't have done it for their collection, but then again they did the appalling Armageddon for their collection as well, so maybe they don't *really* know good movies), but unfortunately (or fortunately, however you look at it) I am not one of those people.

Resident Evil: Degeneration (2008)

Better story than "Final Fantasy VII Advent Children", but with poorer animation than said film.

[7/10 · 10 January 2011]

I love the live-action movies.

Alright, an overstatement. They serve their purpose of a woman jumping around scantily clad killing zombies for ninety-plus minutes. I can't, and don't really want to, ask for more than that. But along comes Capcom basing an animated movie on the games more faithfully that the live-action film with admittedly mixed results.

First off, let me say I've never played the games. My only experience is the live-action films starring Milla Jovovich. Now, this film actually uses characters from the games (as well as the voice actors) to tell a story in the RE universe with more faith towards the games. However, unlike another CG movie sequel, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, one can easily walk into this film without prior knowledge of the games.

This is a stand-alone work that also integrates into a specific place in the Biohazard/Resident Evil canon. Its story is more patient than FFVII, but the two have one major thing in common - multiple endings. I remember thinking throughout both "Holy crap, it's STILL going?!" I look forward to Resident Evil Damnation, a sequel to this, and the sixth overall Resident Evil film released. It's getting a 3D theatrical release in Japan, so I write this in hope that there will be at least an American Blu-Ray release, if not an Australian Blu-Ray release, in 3D, if not theatrically released.

I love the Resident Evil universe and would buy the games off eBay if I wasn't so broke. 3.5 stars

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

One of my favourite Apatow comedies and one of my favourite movies in general.

[8/10 · 6 September 2009]

This movie is, what the media referred to at the time of its release, a guy-friendly romantic comedy. It very much is. The plot isn't the best but it's was Segel, the writer and starring as Peter, does with the characters that makes the movie so entertaining. The plot is very simple but is also quite realistic, probably the most realistic comedy in recent years.

I've watched this many times and jokes don't lose their funny on me. The characters are well thought out and are very three-dimensional and the actors definitely understood their role in everything.

I'm pretty damn sure this will never get old for me so I feel it's safe to highly recommend this movie to anyone and everyone looking for a guy-frienly rom-com as well as a funny and heart-felt character study of sorts.

Year One (2009)

Just a bigger-budgeted and *slightly* better quality version of "Meet The Spartans". The only comedy that made me depressed walking out of the cinema.

[4/10 · 23 June 2009]

I saw this last night with my brother. I was looking forward to it. I had read quite a few reviews demeaning the toilet humour, so I knew what I was getting into, but I didn't know it would be this.

Now, I'm all for toilet humour, but when you have Jack Black (the hilarious Tenacious D Pick of Destiny comes to mind), Michael Cera (has some of the best lines in the film) and Harold Ramis (HAROLD RAMIS!) you don't expect, necessarily, to see someone eating poo and someone pissing on himself. The only funny bit about either of those was Michael Cera, who is upside down (for no explained reason) needs to go to the toilet and urinates on his head, but keeps the whole thing going that his hair smells like urine. The punchline was funnier than the actual punch. But, when you have toilet humour, do it well and creatively. Look to a scene in Kevin Smith's Zack and Miri Make A Porno for a hilarious poop scene that is actually funny.

The editing was the thing that hurt this. Things weren't explained, the snake at the beginning of the film continually kept changing positions miraculously, when they were in danger, it cuts to the next scene and they're fine. There was no fluidity to it at all.

Characters were written horribly. Michael Cera and Jack Black are a great duo, but the script doesn't help. If they were put in another, funnier, film, I'd see it for sure, they bounce off well, I think. But the character motivations, king's adviser in Sodom puts the crown on, then puts it down and runs away.

What? Cain kills his brother, keeps ratting Zed and Oh out and then keeps helping them and then keeps ratting them out.

What? David Cross is wholly unlikeable in this. I absolutely hated his portrayal of Cain and every single joke of his was not funny. I'm sitting going "And you're a comedian?" because he wasn't making me laugh. Paul Rudd, who plays Able, got more laughs from me than Cain who is in the whole film, unfortunately, and Able is a serious character who never makes a joke.

See what I mean? Again, I don't mind toilet humour, but jokes like "I want you to enter the Holy of Holies" and "I want you to sit of the Poly of Polies" works because of the Holy Temple and the sexual connotations it revolves around, but unfortunately, they beat that to death in the trailers, so there is no laughs.

Everyone in my theatre laughed at different things, even my brother and I laughed at different things which tells me they never really settled on a specific demographic for the film, which seems logical to me as this is a toilet-humour centric Biblical epic. It's like trying to make apple juice out of oranges, it never worked.

The good things: Oliver Platt was fantastic. They could make a film all about his character and it would be a reprieve for the filmmakers as Oliver completely and utterly had fun portraying the High Priest. His accent was hilarious and I love his line "I see a happy face, and that makes me happy!" Another good thing was Olivia Wilde, she was beautiful as the queen of Sodom, and has a great British accent. And keep your eyes peeled (if you see this) for Kyle Gass, the significant (I don't say that lightly) other of Tenacious D as a creepy eunuch. So not all is lost in this fire.

It was all over the place, everything, the characters, the writing, the plot (if there was one) everything. This was a true attraction only because of the name star power. It wasn't well thought out film at all, and an hour into it I truly believed this was a bigger-budgeted and SLIGHTLY better version of the horrifically ridiculous "Meet The Spartans", it's in that style, but somehow better quality. If this is a sign of things to come for Ghostbusters 3, we're going to be in trouble. I sincerely hope it isn't.

All in all, there is an audience for this. A thin audience - either Jewish people - as a lot of this film is Jew-centric - or religious fourteen year olds. I am neither of those. I truly and utterly wanted to like this film having moderately high expectations despite the toilet humour news, but coming out of the cinema, I felt let down and as if I had found a girl at a party, made sexy-time, woke up the next morning and she'd gone. I'd felt used and I paid $10 to get used.

Just know what you're getting into, but, like me, that might not help at all.

The Happening (2008)

It isn't without its flaws, but it is in no way a terrible film.

[7/10 · 27 July 2008]

I have loved M Night Shyamalan's last few movies. I love The Village because it's a love story and it's about strength to do something you're afraid of but keeping the person you love in your mind to get through the pain. The Lady In The Water is about purpose, and it is especially helpful when you're feeling pooped or bogged down.

The Happening is again a love story. But instead of bizarre-looking creatures roaming around the two lovebirds, suicide happens all around the couple in this film.

The scene that made it for me was when the wind was blowing and Elliot and Alma walk out and hold each others' hands and they don't die. However, everyone else that commits suicide didn't want to - do you see the irony there? Even though all of Night's films are different genres, he is a very talented storyteller, but I think his best films are about love, and as corny as it sounds, love conquers all.

The score is absolutely fantastic, one of the best I've ever heard. Go, JNH! Look, I enjoyed this a lot, I'm not saying you will or won't. Just watch it. All of Night's films are character studies. If you like observing human behaviour in bizarre circumstances (ghosts, monsters, aliens, evil wind), then this is for you. I genuinely cannot wait to buy this on Blu-Ray. It's no groundbreaking film, but it certainly has its place. It's great to see Zooey Deschanel in such a different role as well. She was talented and beautiful as always.

I give it 3.5/5 (7/10). It isn't without its flaws, but it is in no way a terrible film.

Last Days (2005)

Unfortunately, not worth your time, and it hurts to say that.

[4/10 · 27 July 2008]

Let me first say I will be quick the defend a crap fest of a movie. So this comment may not help you take this review seriously. Just hear me out.

Like most people who want to see this or have seen it, I am a Nirvana fan. They are my favourite band, and I obviously have thoughts about the death of Kurt Cobain.

Of course, though this is based on Kurt and his "Last Days", this is thoroughly unwatchable. I bought it on DVD for $2.92 online. Boy, am I glad it only cost me $3. I can hardly watch past half an hour to forty minutes. Which is a shame because even though I haven't seen all of Gus Van Sant's movies, he is a director I do have some respect for.

But if something stops you from making the movie you want to make, DON'T MAKE IT. This is boring and it just doesn't make you care about Blake. All he does is stuff that people think Kurt did. Sure, Kurt cross-dressed. But he wasn't always tired. He didn't hike at night. What is this? I don't even know the ending because I don't want to, it's be a waster of my time and whoever's time is describing the ending to me.

I take it this is an art-house film, because it is highly inaccessible to a modern audience and you just do NOT care about Blake at all. He walks around the screen like a zombie and you think "What is the point?" I'm sorry, but it isn't worth your time, which is a shame. But I guess it doesn't help that I am not the biggest fan of Michael Pitt, either. But I just find this thoroughly unwatchable. By all means, go and watch it for yourself, but just remember: it's not worth your time.

My apologies, Mr. Van Sant.

Jumper (2008)

Enjoyable sci-fi fluff, but could have been so much more.

[7/10 · 22 February 2008]

THERE IS ONLY ONE SPOILER IN THIS REVIEW AND I DEEM IT VERY MILD.

The main problem with this film is there are so many ends not tied up. I'll say that first and foremost. I will not say what they are as just about all of them are relevant to the plot, and are apart of the end.

Hayden Christensen was miscast in this, but I think he has improved from Star Wars, however, he's still a wooden actor. He cannot handle emotional scenes well. I will go on to say, and anyone may quote me on this as I truly believe in it: Hayden and Rachel (Millie) had more chemistry than Hayden and Natalie Portman in Star Wars. Hayden is still miscast in this however he has improved somewhat in his acting.

Rachel Bilson is a breath of fresh air to the film scene, I am a huge fan of The O.C. and Rachel made her character believable and I really enjoyed watching her, and I think she actually tried to make her character have some chemistry with Hayden's character, i.e. she put more effort into her acting than Hayden did. I absolutely loved watching her and she's definitely one to keep an eye on, I think she's very talented. And she handles comedy well.

However, that's another weakness of this film: all the jokes are either badly written, or poorly executed. As I said, Rachel is great with comedy (see The OC) however she said some jokes that were flat, same with Jamie Bell and his character Griffin, and I'm not saying the actors said them poorly, I believe they are just bad jokes.

Jamie Bell is another breath of fresh air. He's not plastered all over film posters and city billboards like your Lindsay Lohans or whatever and he is a genuinely fine actor. Ever since King Kong he's really building himself up as a dramatic actor. Loved his character as well.

Samuel L Jackson was bad-arse in this, complete bad-arse. However, you could tell he was wearing a wig throughout the film as right at the bottom of his hair on his neck, you could see his real hair. But that's okay, he still looked bad-arse. I also viewed this film similar to that of the witch trials hundreds of years ago. Jumpers are "witches" and the Paladin and Jackson's character are "the church". Roland also says just as he is about to kill a jumper that "God should be the only one to be in all places at all times". Even Griffin (Bell) says that they have been hunting jumpers since "medieval times, the witch trials, all that, that WAS THEM!" So I thought that was a strong point, and I mean no offence to anyone devoutly religious by saying this, that is just something I took from the film.

Diane Lane and Annasophia Robb were surprises in the cast. Especially Lane, she's fantastic as usual. Robb was great as usual also but I felt she looked too young to be in high school, but then again, they do not say what grade she and David are in, so it's all good.

The snow globe should have had a more prominent role in the film, and that's all I'll say about that (I see this sentence as a spoiler, hence the spoiler warning).

The special effects are great in this, especially the "jump scars". However, the blue/green screen effects are very poor for a big-budget commercial film like this, they stick out like a sore thumb.

This has potential for a sequel, and I would genuinely like to see a sequel, as long as the same team is back and they improve upon themselves and see where they went wrong, and Jumper 2 (or would it be "Jumpers"?) could be a fantastic film.

It is popcorn sci-fi fluff but go into this film to have a good time, nitpick it later. I enjoyed it immensely despite its many flaws. Seven out of ten (3.5/5).

Calum Sanderson

Meet the Spartans (2008)

I haven't even put a rating to this...that's how bad it is.

[2/10 · 15 February 2008]

I am proud to admit I have a soft spot for the guilty pleasures named Scary Movie 1, 2, 3, 4, Date Movie and Epic Movie, but these are all very silly, especially the last two. And most of them, save for Scary Movie, are filled with pointless slapstick/dick/fart jokes save for a few actually funny, clever jokes few and far between, but this is ridiculous. It's the same old slapstick and body excrement jokes that get old faster than a speeding bullet. I saw absolutely no point to this whatsoever, and I was only interested in seeing it because of the Britney jokes they showed on the ads, and I will say I used to be a Britney fan and love making fun of her. Shame I forgot Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg's idea of "parody" is redoing a scene from a movie verbatim with actors who look like the actors in the film they are parodying and putting WAY BELOW sub-par dick/fart/crap/boob/sex jokes in and they call it a parody. A parody is something that makes fun of something for a REASON and with A POINT. The Scary Movie movie sorta had this, saying how silly scary movies were, but the sequels, though guilty pleasures of mine, are pointless, though less pointless, than this. And Date Movie and Epic Movie (I preferred the latter over the former) are dick and fart joke movies but I enjoyed them and they are very silly and stupid, but now that I've sorta really grasped what makes a quality movie...I'm saying that this is the most POINTLESS waste of celluloid ever, and I'm really lenient when it comes to films.

But this is just stupid beyond belief. What's the next one? "We're Gonna Make Another Movie" and "parody" everything in the last year? Date Movie is about two years old and most of the pop culture jokes no one would get now because those events are behind us, the same going for Epic Movie, but to a grander scale - only a year old, but the pop culture jokes have completely died.

On the DVD commentary for Date Movie it seemed the writers understood that these movies are pointless...well...STOP MAKING THEM THEN!!!

Make a good, ORIGINAL movie for a change.

Is that too much to ask?

Wait - it probably is.

I Am Legend: Awakening - Story 2: Isolation (2007 Video)

What the hell!?

[6/10 · 24 January 2008]

THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FROM THIS FILM AND I AM LEGEND (2007), THE MATRIX RELOADED, THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS AND THE ANIMATRIX. PLEASE BE WARNED. OTHER FILMS ARE ONLY MENTIONED TO DEMONSTRATE A POINT.

I liked the visual style of this short, but I don't understand what the hell it has to do with I Am Legend, other than mention of the virus and monsters.

I thought perhaps the main guy who narrates the piece would be the monster who tricks Will Smith in the actual film, but I guess that's open to interpretation.

You need to pay close attention to what's going on the first time you watch it and you'll get the general gist of it - until it ends. It leaves you going "What the hell just happened?!?!" Some of the animation was a bit unnerving to watch...but maybe that was the point? It was definitely a new step in 2D animation like The Animatrix.

Unless you're completely obsessed with the actual film starring Will Smith (I'm not obsessed, but I DID love it [5/5]), and you feel you NEED to watch this, go ahead. It won't actually delve you deep into the story however, well, not that I could see.

I will commend the film-makers for showing that the virus didn't just happen in New York and this short takes place somewhere else, but character-wise it didn't tie into the film whilst standing alone, which is actually what you need with this type of thing. Take for example, Final Flight of the Osiris from The Animatrix, that didn't have ANY characters from The Matrix films, but it did mention getting a message to Zion, and they actually mention the Osiris in Reloaded. The Kid, also from The Animatrix, appears in both Matrix sequels and has Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss in it.

This is nothing like the aforementioned shorts.

It just takes place at a different place.

Though the animation is certainly something to witness, you aren't going to die if you don't see this.

3/5

Shrek the Halls (2007 TV Short)

Better than SHREK THE THIRD; in the vein of the original.

[8/10 · 3 January 2008]

This review *may* contain spoilers, please read at your own will.

I absolutely loved this Christmas special. I don't really think it makes much sense in the world of Shrek but it was absolutely hilarious and just plain joyous to watch, and as my review title suggests, a lot better than Shrek the Third.

The first two rocked but the third one felt tired, but Shrek the Halls has injected adrenaline into a classic franchise that has become as funny and as charming as it used to be.

The animation, as always from DreamWorks, is a delight and the acting the animators have put into the characters are great; I loved the scene where Puss is telling the story about Senor Claus and becomes entranced by the ball hanging off the Santa hat.

Which reminds me of how great it is to see Christmas from different perspectives, like Gingy's horrific Christmas nightmare (but hey, that's what you get for being a gingerbread man on Christmas Eve), and I also love how the different perspectives also reiterate the fact Christmas can be celebrated however you want and you don't need to go by the books, both metaphorically and in reality.

All in all, a great family Christmas special to cuddle up to with your family as the rats are roasting and the frog baubles are hanging on the tree stump with dirty laundry hanging on the chimney for ol' Ogre Claus.

A welcome addition to the Shrek family, four stars (out of five)!

Raving (2007)

Interesting Character Study

[7/10 · 19 September 2007]

This is obviously the writing and directing debut of the extremely talented actress, Julia Stiles. Now, when I first heard about this film, I was intrigued because I didn't see Ms Stiles as a writer or director, but we now live in an age where we can achieve anything we want and knock off criticism for the choices we assume best for us, and obviously, her choice to write and direct "Raving" was an assumption well made.

This film is a very interesting character study, something that I did not know it would be. Coming from ELLE Magazine, I thought this would be something we see every day with your E! news and your Paris Hiltons, whether this dress is hot or not or whether it's Dulce or Gucci or whatever, the fashion does take somewhat of a back seat as Zooey and Bill really make their characters their own and really bring them to life, especially Zooey, really getting into the whole lying and taking money thing to party all night.

I do have some criticism about the writing, however. It is unclear whether Bill Irwin's character has some sort of mental disorder, and whether his character is actually the father of Zooey's character (which I thought made some sort of sense). The film became slightly confusing towards the end with him getting the dress dry cleaned and then all of a sudden she is singing (wearing the dress of course) with a full band behind her, and it isn't clear whether he is watching her or not, or even why the ending is happening at all, even though I do love to hear Zooey sing, she has an amazing voice. One other thing I didn't understand is the whole place where Bill Irwin's character worked, with the cards and all that, but I don't really see that as a heavy plot point, the heaviest plot point is their meeting in the café, obviously.

But as a writing and directing debut, Julia does a fantastic job behind the camera just as she does on camera. I just hope ELLE weren't breathing down Julia's neck whilst writing the script and filming the film, because that would a) ruin the creativity the writer has with the film and b) explain the confusing ending.

Look, it is a character study, and character studies aren't movies your just watch once, think of and then move on, character studies are exactly that: studies of characters, and you must study this over and over to get every crevice of the story out, but on one viewing, it forms good albeit confusing entertainment.

Do not try and build this film up for yourself hype-wise, but it isn't the train wreck people make it out to be. Just watch and observe these two quirky and interesting characters that Julia has decided to focus on in a city full of 8 million people.

Lady Snowblood (1973)

A violent, silly, rampaging romp, but has a heart of sadness.

[9/10 · 8 July 2007]

This film has obviously gained a lot of attention since Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill Volume One and Volume 2 came out. I am not ashamed to admit I got interested in it after it being linked to Kill Bill, but then again, I hadn't heard of it until a while after the Kill Bill movies came out, and I thought it sounded like something I'd be interested in, my kind of movie. And it definitely is.

Let's get it out there in the open: this film is really silly. It has those great seventies Kung Fu noises when someone jumps up in the air unlike any human could, as well as noises when someone shoves a sword into the enemy. But because it's silly don't jump to the conclusion that there isn't a point to watching it. Sure it's just entertainment. But the story is one of the best I've ever witnessed, and not because of the blood and guts.

The story is of course about revenge, but the revenge spawns from a woman who gives birth to a daughter and swears that the daughter must be an instrument of revenge on those that messed with her mother. (A silly premise, but here's where it becomes cool). Meiko Kaji who plays Lady Snowblood, also known as Yuki, doesn't spend the movie wrapped in evil and revenge with anger on her face. There's genuine hurt in her performance. It is actually extremely sad that all she is is an instrument of revenge and death, but that's what weighs the film down into some sort of believability.

The sets are standard Japanese action sort of sets but they have that certain charm about them that's easy on the eyes, it locks the film into this particular recognizable genre but still stands on its own two feet as a film. Also another standard in this genre is freeze frames. Usually I like to comment on shots that continue movement but a certain frame, frozen or still moving, is my favourite of a film. Now, one freeze frame (if memory serves me correctly, the only one), of the baddie coming up some stairs, that may be the second Shurayukihime (apologies if it is) and one side of her face is visible in the freeze frame to alert the audience of this woman's arrival. It is laughable in this but laughable for the right reasons: it isn't corny or annoying, but it's a genuine charm of this genre.

Many standards of this genre may stop you from watching this but watch it for the genuine heart-wrenching story of Yuki Kashima, also known as Shurayukihime, Lady Snowblood.

A genuine piece of cinematic gold that is also entertaining and worth a watch.

Pokémon LeafGreen Version (2004 Video Game)

Just a more advanced version of Pokemon Yellow Version!

[8/10 · 3 July 2006]

Though that is it's major down point, that it is a reincarnation of the previous Pokemon game basically, from where you meet your rival, to where you find the three oriental elemental Pokemon, this game is excellent due only to graphics and animation. It makes playing it really fun and entertaining. I highly recommend ANY Pokemon Game Boy game as they are all excellent in their own rights, depending on which Pokemon you can catch in that particular game to how you can actually play the game (boy or girl, etc). Personally my favourites are Gold and Silver as they are departure from the normal Pokemon and they are both more challenging. But if you don't care about previous experiences or you've never played any previous games of the Pokemon kind (the only explanation for that is that you are an adult whose lost your sense of fun :p or that you are fun deficient.) I have never fully finished any of the games (I did get past the Elite Four once, however) but it's highly recommended to get away from your boring (if you consider it boring) life.

Go, Pikachu!!! Oh, wait, I haven't caught you yet...*embarrassed*

The O.C.: The Escape (2003) Season 1, Episode 7

One of my favourite episodes.

[8/10 · 21 May 2006]

I love this episode because it just goes so far with the dept of Marissa, and how she feels, and how it relates to what girls feel. The decision to have Marissa overdose was a brave but very well done move that also moved you inside and had you wanting to watch the next episode.

Is in my Top 10 episodes of The O.C.

This episode is also one of my favourites because it starts the close relationship between Ryan and Marissa, which leads up to another of my favourite episodes, The Heights, which really starts the love relationship between the two. It's in this episode, however, which Ryan really shows how much he cares for Marissa and Marissa then finds out it was Ryan who saved her just in time, she decides to pay him back by falling in love with him and going out with him. It's a very well written introduction to a relationship, and I love re-watching it.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

This isn't about zombies...this is about the survival of the human race.

[8/10 · 26 September 2005]

This was a great and fun movie! But under the decomposing skin and "Grrrrr" of the zombies that made this movie (as well as the original) famous, this is really about the human race surviving in the darkest time the human race can go through.

A group of people are locked in a shopping centre, and they have to keep the zombies out, and survive with what the shopping centre has (chips, popcorn, sofas, beds, etc.)

They have a friend across the street who of course, gets killed by the zombies after a harrowing and suspenseful period of time where the characters have to sneak past the zombies.

George A. Romero must have been involved other than writing the original, because this has the Romero touch to it. There were a few unnecessary and predictable scenes, but you can't have a scary movie without unnecessary and predictable scenes, it wouldn't be horror then, would it? :)

The only unnecessary scene was the two characters recording themselves having sex...but that might just be in the director's cut (the one I saw.) Fun!! 8/10

Sin City (2005)

"A New Hope" In Film-making; This Generation's "Star Wars"

[9/10 · 26 July 2005]

When one does this sort of thing, it won't go unnoticed. Sin City is the 21st century's "Star Wars", using the best of, surprisingly, off the shelf software, and digital video, to recreate Frank Miller's drawings in his amazing Sin City graphic novel collection.

I don't think this movie would be possible if we were still in the "dark age" (as Robert Rodriguez calls it) of film, and negative cutting. This film was done so fast and quickly with digital everything: editing, score, set building, and many other things that expand a 50ft (if even that) green screen to a huge city. Though one of the main attractions of this masterpiece is it's digital process, the three stories (excluding "The Customer is Always Right) are, if not disturbing, excellent and humorous. There is a scent of Tarantino in this, yes, he did direct a scene in this, but the words from the comics, and things that happen, are very Tarantino.

Why are we attracted to the darkness of life? Murder; crime, sex...we are attracted to it because these things happen in real life. Though it may be very fantasized, a prostitute that sleeps with a muscle builder could be killed by a cannibal. We love these stories because they are real without scaring us that they can happen to us...we love them because they can do this to us.

All in all, however you look at it, Sin City is a breakthrough not just in film-making, but in storytelling and style. See this immediately; fall in love with every character, whether they be good or bad; applaud how the actors act (which is very well); and be amazed at how it is directed, and how it looks. Be ready for one of the best films ever created. Be ready for Sin City.

War of the Worlds (2005)

Excellent!

[8/10 · 3 July 2005]

Ray Ferrier (Tom Cruise) is a lift driver, divorced from Mary-Ann (Miranda Otto), who, on his way home from work, bumps into Mary-Ann and her new boyfriend, Tim, who are there to drop off the two kids, Robbie (Justin Chapman) and Rachel (Dakota Fanning). When they are bored, Robbie drives off illegally. Rachel orders hummus. Ray is half asleep, until a great storm...well, great until something comes up from the ground.

Loosely based on H.G. Wells' novel, and seeming to borrow more from the radio broadcast, Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds seemed, from the trailers, to look like a stupid Spielberg summer (ooh three s's!) blockbuster that everyone would think is dumb in five years time. But when I went to see it...far out. From the first word...I was amazed. When I said "borrow more from the radio broadcast" I am quite correct. The first speech is said by Morgan Freeman who seems to be making a big comeback into Hollywood with Unleashed, Batman Begins, and this, War of the Worlds. Freeman reads basically what Orson Welles does in the broadcast, except it was altered to suit the modern times. Spielberg has really done this very well, and I am not a big fan of Tom Cruise (except in Collateral), but a big fan of Dakota Fanning, and these three are great when they are put together. I think when Spielberg said he wanted to scare audiences just like Orson Welles did, he put that statement to justice. Really the second half of the film, though, really scared me. But the scariest part is when Ray and Rachel are "surviving" with Tim Robbins' character, Ogilvy. One of the scariest parts in this whole situation was when Tom Cruise blindfolded Rachel and told her to sing a nursery rhyme, so she didn't hear him do a certain something. There is also possibly one of the scariest scenes when the Ferriers have a car, and many people bash it, and beat Ray up because they have it. The reason it's scary: it's human behaviour. We are like that, we are all scary, wanting things for ourselves. Survival of the fittest, not the ones doing the same thing. This movie, I think, H.G. Wells would approve of, because it is an unusually dark and eerie picture from Spielberg, adding to the level of human emotion, fright, and love. Another part of this movie I really liked: Spielberg focused more on the main three characters than the aliens invading, which I liked very much, and also, the CGI didn't overrule the story, which made it all the more scarier. Justin Chapman, although I thought wasn't a great addition to the production, I must admit did a very good job of being the stuck up son who doesn't give a crap about his father, just himself. We can just glide over Tom Cruise for a second. He was predictably great as Ray Ferrier, and did a good job of being the father trying to take control of the situation he knows he might not escape from. But to Dakota Fanning: AMAZING. If the Oscars don't at least nominate her, I will complain, as I think many other people will, because she was just great in this. Wait, great isn't the word. There is no word for Dakota's amazingly brilliantly tremendously awesome performance. She did one amazing job in this movie, especially when she was frightened. When she sang the lullaby, it made me shiver...and when she screamed looking at the camera...Dakota, you deserve an Oscar for this performance. I am dead serious. If she doesn't win or even get nominated, I will write a complaint to the Academy Awards® to put it lightly. Spielberg did a great job in casting her, I really think he did.

by movie-man2000 from http://movie-man2000.blogspot.com

The World of Tomorrow (2003 Video)

A lot better than the feature length movie.

[10/10 · 14 June 2005]

When I bought Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow on DVD, I was awaiting a poor short, nothing really to write home about. But when i selected it in the special features, I fell in love with it. I actually think they should have made the full-length movie a special feature, and the short the movie lol! We open on a very recognizable picture (for movie buffs really) is the crackly graded picture of old movies of the silver screen, such as Frankenstein, or The 39 Steps. It's in wonderful black and white, an unusual feat these days. But then again, the whole process was shot in front of blue screen, so there's nothing to be surprised at. It's quite similar to the full length version, but I actually think the actors in this piece, though unknown, and hardly speak a line each, are better choices for the roles of Polly Perkins and Joe Sullivan. Don't get me wrong, I liked Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow in the movie, but Gwyneth was slightly wooden in the movie, as this actor wasn't. Sorry Gwyneth, she was better. Even though this was only about an eighth or tenth of the actual movie, I liked it better because, as Kerry Conran wanted, it would have been in chapters, making you believe it more.

4/5 or 8/10