licktheenvelope Reviews

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Adar (2022) Season 1, Episode 3

ZzzzZzzzz....

[3/10 · 16 September 2022]

#1 something seems to be broken with these reviews stating they need to be 600 characters but my below review is about 700:

#2As a big fan of the first 3 films I am trying to like this series and the first two were watchable if un-inspired but we fell asleep 15 minutes into this 3rd episode on the weekend.

Cannot remember the last time I just flat-out fell asleep during a show. Just boring and dull.

The writing continues to be pretty bland but the actors are giving their all, for the most part. I will give the episode one more shot but tough to get through.

Hopefully the 2nd viewing keeps me awake.

The Northman (2022)

What I love about Eggers...

[10/10 · 22 April 2022]

... is the way he takes folk-tales and brings them to life.

He does a magnificent job of riding that line between unbelievable and realistic by making each as authentic as he can.

The Northman is no different and I really loved the pace of this film. I don't think a single person got out of their seat in the whole packed theater tonight during the film.

Can't wait for #4.

Sherlock: The Great Game (2010) Season 1, Episode 3

A great episode

[9/10 · 29 April 2021]

This episode is my 3rd favourite in the series behind "the reichenbach fall" and "a scandal in belgravia."

Sherlock is facing Moriarty for the first time and his brother Mycroft has given him a case that Sherlock sends Watson off to solve in the meantime.

You will read reviews saying Andrew Scott is over the top ... but if you know people this single-minded and 'on the spectrum' as Moriarty in real life you will know this type of archetype is an exaggerated true-to-life character in the same way as Sherlock himself.

It's true that the show is more extreme than the original stories but that is to be expected and IMO this works very well.

The Great Gatsby (2013)

Just barely saved by the acting

[6/10 · 9 July 2020]

Whew!

I have not read The Great Gatsby or seen the previous film but the first 30-45 minutes of this movie for me was nearly unwatchable.

I kept turning to my significant-other and saying "WHY DO THEY KEEP CUTTING AWAY FROM STORY TO BAD CGI AND TERRIBLE MODERN MUSIC?!?!"

Shortly after the first real Gatsby party this terrible style of blending modern music poorly into period pieces with horrific CGI is drawn back a bit. When the actors take-over from the ridiculous direction, music and effects the movie hums along quite nicely.

It's not the best tragedy ever but it's fine and I felt DiCaprio and Edgerton were both great and carried the narrative with a nod to.

All in all if you could find someone to edit the first 45 minutes and change the score the movie would have been far better. Probably could have cut 30 minutes all together quite easily.

Star Trek: Picard: Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 2 (2020) Season 1, Episode 10

"What's going on?", "Nothing that makes any sense!"

[3/10 · 27 March 2020]

A perfect line from the episode to encapsulate a tremendously poorly written season.

Quite disappointing with the main plot back-drop directly ripped off from the "Mass Effect" game series.

Totally unnecessary and dull scenes featuring Data through-out... had my friend laughing at how silly everything was.

Worst Star Trek series so far and likely end of watching it for me.

Star Trek: Picard: The Impossible Box (2020) Season 1, Episode 6

Finally some Trek!

[6/10 · 29 February 2020]

If you check out my other reviews I have absolutely trashed this series for the writing and poor portrayal of the Trek universe.

This episode is quite a bit better and does feel much much much more like Trek with very little fluff and wasted time.

There's a few scenes and characters that are utterly pointless and after watching this I feel that the main story may have worked better as a movie as the first 5 episodes really could be chucked out for about 15-20 minutes of backstory.

I was watching to see how badly the franchise was going to be damaged... this episode got me back into 'slightly interested.'

Trek on!

Star Trek: Picard: Stardust City Rag (2020) Season 1, Episode 5

I can't believe it's getting worse...

[2/10 · 21 February 2020]

As this mess of a series continues each episode brings something else that is just so stupid in "Trek" universe it's hard to believe.

This episode had 2 or 3 segments that are just simply laughable and I cannot believe Rich Evans is consistently right in his predictions.

Poor writing, poor characters with bad dialogue. Special effects and sets aside this is a mess.

Star Trek: Picard: Absolute Candor (2020) Season 1, Episode 4

This writing is still like nails on a chalk-board...

[5/10 · 14 February 2020]

Having come out of the utter nothing of the last 2 and a half episodes at least something is HAPPENING.

The acting is hit and miss and the character development has been mostly weak with the bulk of the backstory going to Picard whose character is very different from TNG.

I forgive the cast who I am sure is also trying to deal with this writing. I thought the Romulans were much better this episode, for the most part, but I'm still baffled by what is going on. The show acts like the Romulans were from one planet... but they have a whole network of planets like the federation does.... so I feel like I'm totally missing something on how this universe is structured but as others have noted here in their own reviews the thinking going into Star Trek these days seems to give passing though to science and the history of the Trek universe.

Where as the last 2 and a half episodes were near totally unwatchable this 4th episode is 'C' grade sci-fi with cliched writing and plot elements.

Star Trek: Picard: The End Is the Beginning (2020) Season 1, Episode 3

Poor writing continues

[4/10 · 9 February 2020]

Again more stilted dialogue and choppy scenes.

Direction seemed particularly weak in this episode but the episode was slightly more interested then the almost unwatchable 2nd episode.

Star Trek: Picard: Maps and Legends (2020) Season 1, Episode 2

Up there with the worst written shows I have ever seen

[1/10 · 31 January 2020]

Someone needs to go through the writing and scenes in this episode. We were laughing at how poorly this was written.

There's a whole 4 minute scene where JLP walks up to a house... then is walking away and a women appears and chastizes him... he says "Romulan spies on earth"... he has wine... she says "is that the 86!" scene cuts.

90% of this episode is utterly pointless and devoid of meaning.

Star Trek: Picard: Remembrance (2020) Season 1, Episode 1

Wow... just awful

[2/10 · 31 January 2020]

Aside from some a couple of scenes that made me miss TNG I cannot believe how bad the writing is in this show. Even my fiance was commenting that the science jargon being used made no sense. We also introduce a character as being "special" only to kill the character off a few scenes later to setup there's a twin. Just ... awful awful awful. Even Patrick Stewart cannot save this... yikes.

Dracula: The Rules of the Beast (2020) Season 1, Episode 1

Worrried about the next two...

[3/10 · 20 January 2020]

I didn't know this show existed until my friend hooked me into watching it. We both loved Sherlock, the writing in particular and with the same writers I thought we'd be in safe hands.

Yikes! Wow was I wrong.

Much cheesy humour, much of it out of place. The horror is confused and muddled. The Nun characters had me laughing (I think unintentionally) and the main love story is just... yikes.

I usually don't mind creative license with "period" dialogue... but the show keeps making reference to things like the language being spoken being incorrect... but they keep using phrases which simply would never have been used in the 1890s.

There's some interesting ideas but hopefully the next two episodes pull it together... but I'm worried by the direction from the first episode.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

What a frustrating movie

[4/10 · 24 December 2019]

Had a tough time with the Last Jedi.

I'm not the biggest Star Wars fan but respect 4 through 6 and Empire, in particular, may be the best sequel ever made.

The Force Awakens was a fine re-boot of those films and introduced a number of great new characters and situations which were just barely enough to "A New Hope" to keep it interesting.

With episode 8 "The Last Jedi" the series instantly comes to a halt for a whole lot of nothing. A bunch of sequences happen and at the end of the film everyone is basically right where they started.

A lot of stupid plot devices and a ridiculous sequences with Finn and new character Rose are enough to bury some interesting decisions with Luke Skywalker, Rey, Keylo Ren and the nature of being a Jedi.

All in all a few good ideas, decent special effects and solid acting performances ... basically all around aren't enough to save. I know some people who straight up consider this their least favourite film ever. I wouldn't go that far ... but the writing consistently let it down.

Watchmen (2019)

Lots of bland confusion

[3/10 · 20 November 2019]

Came into this series knowing literally nothing; had not heard this was a thing and didn't even tie it to the Graphic Novel until truly bizarre Rorschach's appeared.

Disjointed narrative through the first 4 episodes with a lot of violence for the sake of pointless violence, not well shot with too much CGI and choreography. Had to listen to Don Johnson sing, which was cruel.

There are some actors playing it well (lead actress in particular)... but poor writing, as usual, leaves it feeling bland.

Way too many moments of utter confusion... and also truly awful music selections for scenes that last way too long.

Will try to stick out this 1st season but man... this is rough going.

GLOW: Outward Bound (2019) Season 3, Episode 6

Poor Episode of a Great Series

[2/10 · 16 August 2019]

I have really enjoyed GLOW so far but this episode was just terrible.

A mix of very bizarre social messages tied into a ladies retreat and stereotypical characters being even more stereotypical.

Buttressed by very good episodes this one was a stinker and I'm sad they haven't given the side characters much more than social messaging.

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

Could have been quite a lot better

[6/10 · 26 October 2018]

The 1st season is one of the most interesting mysteries I've come across, that being:

"Why are so many people reviewing this so highly?"

The show took me on an interesting journey as I absolutely despised the first 4 episodes; enjoyed episodes 5-9 then was let down by 10 and the weak end.

The jumping around was manic and the storytelling by way of phone call after phone call was horrendous and made whole scenes unwatchable and ultimately pointless.

The acting, overall, was all over the map and oddly it felt like the children were more straight-faced than the adults who put over-embellishment into most every expression.

I ended up liking a handful of the ideas in episodes 5-9 that didn't really lead anywhere. I would watch again but would appreciate a more narrow and dynamic focus.

Filmed very well.

Jim Shockey's Uncharted (2014– )

Adore this show. Along with Steve Rinella's Meateater this got me into hunting

[10/10 · 7 December 2016]

First off I was never into hunting or really into fishing growing up. I had some friends of my family who took me to a lake a couple of times to fish around when I was 10 years old and I fished with family a couple times in the ocean but it was never that important to us.

In recent years I got big into hiking, camping and multi-day hikes and walks. In 2015 I walked over 3800 KMs (about 2350 miles) in Europe and during that trip was when I discovered Uncharted.

I remember having downloaded the first 3 episodes on my phone before I left and it wasn't until a cold night in Southern England when I was camping next a small town a couple miles from Stonehenge, sipping some dark beer in my tent and watching the first episode... and was blown away.

A ominous tone plays and the text shows against fire embers: "We had seen God in His splendors, heard the text that Nature renders. We had reached the naked soul of man."

... it fades and Jim ponders:

"Why would you leave comfort? Security? The loving arms of your family? Home?"

... I pondered this as my toes ached with cold and my body was generally sore. I had been walking for weeks.

Jim continued,: "An inuit elder told me once that home is wherever you are. And I get that, I under stand it... but that doesn't explain what drives someone to climb a mountain; or ski to the north pole; or sail off into an unknown ocean; or hunt, hunt for some that may not even exist. Where's the reason in that?"

I sipped and thought "Or walk 3800 KMs in search of meaning. Too true."

Jim continued,: "An uncharted place is not the same thing for everybody. For some people Uncharted my be a trip to the city from the country. It could be as simple as walking by yourself to school when you're six years old. That's uncharted. It's facing fears, it's facing the unknown. It's challenging yourself, pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone.

Too many times in this world people don't determine their own envelopes, they're determined for them. They're not making choices for themselves, they're making choices based on what other people think they are capable of doing.

To push beyond the borders of what you think your capable of, what other people think you're capable of... that's exploring the unknown, that's the uncharted territories."

My heart was pumped. This was how to start a show. Breath-taking scenery...

"Everyone has an uncharted desire, has a challenge they want to meet... a challenge that will make them a greater, better person. A challenge that will make them a greater, better person. A challenge that will make their life truly fulfilled. And that challenge... that... uncharted place... only you can know... only YOU can know."

Brilliant.

Homeland (2011–2020)

Deserves a couple bump up points for season 4

[9/10 · 16 October 2016]

It's interesting reading the previous comments because what people seem to say is that Homeland is either: 1. "Dumb American, racist propaganda that makes the US out to be the true heros fighting all the worlds terrorists" or 2. "Nothing but United States Citizens as traitors, liars, mass murders" or 3. Bad acting or 4. 10/10 ....

I have to say I'd have put it somewhere around a 7 and into season for a few episodes I was leaning to moving it down to a 6 or so and just stopping watching all together. I took a break off for a couple weeks, came back and the next 7 episodes in season for were tremendous and you are routing for and against people on all sides.

I find the acting a mixed bag: - Claire Danes is fine and sometimes amazing the way she portrays the mental illness of her character but other times the writing of the character seems lazy.

• I really like Mandy Patinkin in the show.

• Rupert Friend is my fav character in Quinn.

• Damian Lewis did a solid Job in his role.

If you can put up with some odd character choices and some errors in real world locations it's an okay spy drama I feel is elevated in season 4. I have seen season 5 year but the show went from teetering off a cliff to being a good one for me.

Snowpiercer (2013)

Brainpiercer

[6/10 · 25 March 2014]

I had to think long and hard about how to score this movie because I will say that at least it tried to do something, which is more than I can say for most movies these days... however what it did do was more baffling than interesting.

Quickly to recap:

• A guy makes a vacation type train that can somehow circle around the globe (across oceans I guess) connecting with other train lines in a big circle. - Train has a shoddy perpetual motion device that somehow has parts that break down and require little children to power because - Apparently to be self containing the ship needs to have rich people vs poor people... I believe this was supposed to be analogous to how life works in the real world (?) - The guy who made the train occasionally prompts the poor people he has living at the back of the train start riots so as to allow for the killing of some people... for some reason this 'balances' out the 'Eco-system' on the train - This story is the last time this type of prompt happens because I guess the creator didn't really think it through very well...

Others have listed the countless plot-holes that I would agree with. Most of the movie I was saying: "What?", "Why?", "How?"

Struggle through the confusion of the 'science' and 'reason' behind what is happening and your left with what seems like a redemption story combined with a story that tries to portray the weird eccentric breaking free from the nature of society to play with a polar bear in the cold.

3 stars for interesting set, 2 marks for some bizarre acting, 1 mark for at least keeping my attention while I tried to figure out if I was losing my mind or if the story actually didn't make sense.

World War Z (2013)

Bored War Z

[3/10 · 7 September 2013]

Ho hum Hollywood.

I am not sure what the problem is with writers these days but these screenplays with no characters and nothing of consequence happening are getting ridiculous.

It's especially ridiculous in the genre of zombie movies or even Apocalypse movies. You can't tell a story like this without characters people care about and people can't care about characters with no background with the viewer.

An example of a zombie/Apocalypse done better (of which there are many) would be Dawn of the Dead remake (2004). The movie starts with the main character as a normal person instantly surrounded by zombie horror, much like world War Z... except the main character suffers loss and the rest of the movie explores a core group of characters and how they relate to each other at the end of the world. It's interesting and involves CHARACTERS.

In World War Z Brad Pitt's family is continuously safe. Then they get sent out of safety... to safety... there's zero tension surrounding the main character other than what is happening directly to him. But it's predictable, boring and completely bereft of character.

Hell I don't even know what his name was! (?) And I don't care.

World War Z suffers what so many Hollywood 'blockbusters' suffer from these days: Lots of money spent on CGI, zero budget into writing.

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Big Time Trek/Sci-Fi fans are missing the point...

[9/10 · 17 May 2013]

So I feel I have to get my 'Trek Cred' out of the way here. I am not a 'Trekkie' in the true-est sense as I have only glanced at the books and the expanded Trek universe, however I was big into the Next Generation when I was young for a brief time and last year took it upon myself to go back and watch every series of Trek + every movie in the order they came out... and I did it.

I have a better admiration for a series like Deep Space 9 than before and even the original Trek... although the original Trek is far, far more campy than some seem to think it was...

Today we see that movies are having a hard time with stories. Across the board TV has become the new avenue for telling a good story (Game of Thrones as an example) because they have so much more time to develop the characters and the world.

The tricky part with this Star-Trek re-boot is that JJ had to take all these existing characters and attempt to appease the original fans and bring in new fans by changing it enough to not just make each movie a science or lore lesson.

This movie, for me, was a solid 8. It's not the best Trek movie and it's not even close to the worst (hello Generations...).

I'm also quite surprised at the comments that complain about this vs Star Trek 2... where this one made some sense... but don't mention that Star Trek Nemesis was actually a worse rip-off in every sense and a far worse film...

My only one complaint was that this film didn't have a well done space-battle like in Star-Trek 2. That battle Kirk vs Khan was handled better than I think any battle i've seen in any Trek and I was hoping to see something as interesting as that.

Overall the acting is great, plot is fine, action/CG is good but over-the-top, throw-backs worked well... it is a little bit of a shame that Trek has been turned into Science-Fantasy/Action from Science Fiction but I think it holds just fine.

9 Posted to offset some of the ridiculous 2 scores, unless all those people want to go back and give Nemesis a 0.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Bad Storytelling + Some decent Sci-Fi Elements

[5/10 · 22 September 2012]

I finally got around to seeing Prometheus last night and after the first 10 minutes I was already confused at the choices made.

Perhaps my biggest gripe of all was how the movie opened, which contradicts others who were more upset with the ending.

The credits role over a panoramic fly-over of Northern Scotland. Then a saucher shaped spaceship appears... and a white alien (very humanoid by clearly alien) figure stands over a waterfall. He drinks some goo and proceeds to disintigrate into the waterall with the scene zooming in, to a molecular level, to show new? DNA forming in the water...

Hard cut to a cave being revealed in Scotland (near future to present day) and two scientists find a cave painting showing a black figure point to 5 dots above it. They confirm it is 35,000 years old and hug.

Hard cut to a spaceship (!!???) This whole period of 5-10 minutes completely baffled me. If you are telling the story of scientists searching for the creators of humanity why clearly show them in the first 5 minutes? Why show the scene with that particular cave painting? Once the crew of the ship is awoken from cryo-sleep they watch a holographic recording of everything they are trying to do and why... so why does the audience need the alien setup proving everything the scientists are trying to find out? Why has this trillion $ enterprise been staffed by some of the most incompetent scientists ever on film??? (example: the biologist who has no interest in studying the first dead alien body they find... or the geologist who is a lunatic).

Once the main actress has an alien squid surgically removed from her stomach why does no one care? Why does the android feed alien goo to the lead male scientist? It seems to serve no purpose to what the goal of the real leader is trying to accomplish...

Why do these super-advanced aliens need to create alien squids/goo to destroy humans? Can they not just destroy the atmoshpere of Earth? I can think of dozens of other ways they could kill humanity without the needless Aliens they created.

I feel VERY generous giving this movie a 5/10. I like Ridley Scott, for the most part, and the visuals are well done + the sci-fi elements could have been used to tell a much better story... hell I think i would have preferred everything just as a straight Alien prequel.

The film defeats what it sets out to accomplish in the first 10 minutes then proceeds to bumble along as a confusing mess before showing itself as an Alien prequel. Could have been better.

Religulous (2008)

Two Missing Elements

[7/10 · 16 March 2012]

I like Bill Maher and was interested when I saw that he had taken on religion. Having seen his routine live a couple of times I knew it would be humorous and cynical and that it is.

What I found interesting was the "call to arms" for the logical people within society who hold a more rational approach to humanity and the human condition.

The film does what it set out to do quite well and as a self proclaimed agnostic who is much more concerned with the evils propagated by religion than the benefits of there were two key elements Bill missed out on: 1. Other religions and belief structures...

This film doesn't even acknowledge Buddhism, Hinduism, the Shinto beliefs, Taoism and other religions, focusing on the various types of Christianity and touching on Judaism and Islam.

There's supposedly 2 billion Christians, 1.3 billion Muslims, 15 million Jews... that leaves over half of the worlds population that doesn't subscribe to any of these beliefs.

Truly a missed opportunity to look at other social structures for the near 1 billion people who subscribe to no religion.

2. A further look at secular people across different nations...

What I really would have enjoyed is further discussion on why those who subscribe to no religion explain how they view humanity, be they scientists or just the average person.

There was an interesting piece of the film where Bill, his mother and his sister talk about how they stopped attending church when he was 13 due to the churches stance on birth control. There's another section where 2 ex-Mormons discuss with Bill the tenets of Mormonism they left and why they seemed wrong to them as human beings.

There are these types of discussions that could have been approached all over the globe that I thought would be very interesting to delve into as the film really is an attempt to empower those of us without strong religious beliefs to make our own voices heard.

I also really enjoyed the Vatican Senior Priest and the Vatican Astronomer, though in general those at the Vatican seem to be some of the most level headed people in society today.

Good film to take a look, but I feel it missed some elements that could have strengthened Bill's position.

Drive (I) (2011)

Perhaps not for all? But sooooo good.

[9/10 · 5 February 2012]

Nicolas Winding Refn's drive has caused some very mixed reactions (as you can see from all these reviews!). I will say straight out that I never saw a trailer for this movie. I'd seen a few reviews from critics, mostly on the positive side with the general impression that most consumers would be upset at how the trailer portrayed it.

Having never seen the trailer and being very busy I decided to finally sit down and watch drive at 1 AM. Usually I throw a movie on and fall asleep (2 nights before I managed to get 30 minutes into Captain America... dozing off right as he had got the serum... something) and I will say it's now 3:15 AM and I am still thinking about drive.

It's very very hard to find good films these days. I find myself heading back into my film-noir vice, Hitchcock flicks and other films that most people my age don't even know exist (mid-twenties). I am not an art student. What I can appreciate is solid craftsmanship and work that leaves you thinking and instills emotions you don't find from your average Michael bay film and Drive certainly did that.

Ryan Gosling's central character is never named, providing intrigue into his character. Very few back-stories are presented anywhere in the film which, for me, had me reminiscing about Clint Eastwood films. Gosling's portrayal is solid and he manages to pull off the 'this guy is tougher than he looks' attitude very well. Many mainstream movies would force feed you a back story. "He was ex-military! Got off the radar to start anew in LA working cheap as a mechanic, when things got real! and the mob is after him!" Many here don't seem to understand the point of the dialogue... (which I find surprising)... the lack of dialogue is MEANT to keep you waiting. It builds tension to absurd levels then drops you off a cliff you very short, very deliberate violence or action. Some compared it to horror films? (really?) Aside from one shot (literally one shot) most of the violence is tame and often completely out of the shot (see the ending).

I would have given this film a 10/10 if not for some casting and dialogue choices which worked okay, but I felt could have been a touch better.

In brief, if you really really want to see an action movie DON'T SEE THIS FILM. If you have no patience for deliberately slow pacing, DON'T SEE THIS FILM. If you want to engage your senses and don't mind the occasional stabbing or two people staring at each other for a minute to draw you into a scene then give it a go. I am well aware that many people I know will hate this film, and many others will love it.

Sucker Punch (2011)

I both liked and disliked this movie... here's why

[7/10 · 24 December 2011]

I will preface this by saying I probably had the worst type of experience the first time I tried watching Suckerpunch.

To cut a long story short, the first time I watched it I didn't see ANY of the middle section... that's right I saw the first 25 minutes, then the last 30 mins... and I was less than impressed. The first 25 minutes are very slow and the characters are hard to follow and flat.

I left my home and headed for my friend's house. Little did I know he was watching Suckerpunch too. "Man!" He said when I got there, "have you seen this?! Such a wild movie!" ... to which I replied... "The first 25 minutes were borrrrrrring and I couldn't figure out any of the characters properly." I watched the last 30 minutes with him and was left with a confused reaction. It certainly was not great. It also certainly was not even remotely close to the worst script or acting i've ever seen (not sure how many movies some reviewers on here have seen... Suckerpunch is shallow and flat... but not terrible).

I just finished watching all the middle parts I had not seen. I will certainly say it was not what I was expecting. There was actually some boring parts in amongst the CGI but there was also 3 moments that were truly amazing works of CGI/art direction, very well done.

To put my thoughts into concise summaries: What I disliked: The script could have been clearer, or lost completely. Really for the target market they could have cut out half of the dialogue and just added more girls dancing and killing things and that would have been fine with me. It was also taken far too seriously. If you're going to push it into fantasy dreamworlds there should be some sense of relief at some point.

What I liked: That it IS actually a movie that makes people react differently. I have friends who LOVE this movie and I have friends who can't stand it. Too many Hollywood movies try to be cookie-cutter repeats of something else (see the ludicrous amounts of prequels and sequels ... even to awful movies), at least Suckerpunch was something different.

Definitely could have been better, or worse, depending what you want out of a movie but it is different.