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Skyline (2010)
6/10
Skyline: Short and Sweet
22 July 2019
If you enjoy straight forward sci-fi action films, relax, turn off your mind and enjoy this simple minded and often silly action packed alien invasion monster movie. It moves along at a good pace, and looks and sounds great. The cast also looks good and can act reasonably well. The biggest problems were that some of the character choices were obviously going to end badly and the romance was adolescent. Fortunately, that's where the laughs came from. So, leave your expectations at the door and don't think too hard about this one, or you're just gonna be disappointed.
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4/10
Post Apocalyptic Sci-Fi For Teen Girls?
2 October 2016
I guess. If beautiful teen models struggling to survive a violent, widespread water shortage isn't silly enough, the dialogue and acting in "The Last Survivors" are too weak to convey believable struggle. The actors just don't have the chops to offer much more than their beautiful faces as entertainment. Put a little makeup on the male lead and he'd be kissable too.

No offense, but based on most of the reviews on Amazon, young viewers enjoy it as a beautifully shot post apocalyptic teen romance. Fair enough, but I can't imagine any intelligent person over 30 sitting through this vapid chain of artfully composed scenes. I had to fast forward through almost half of the film to see if there was any payoff by the end of this uninteresting, slow moving, cliché ridden story. Nope! And, "better than the "Road," as one reviewer wrote? Not even close.

I generally enjoy the low budget post apocalyptic sci-fi sub genre. However, the lack of grittiness and believable survival savagery made this movie too lightweight to sit through.
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13 Cameras (2015)
7/10
Lights, Camera, Creepy!
27 September 2016
The creepy landlord, pictured on the cover art for "13 Cameras," (aka "Slumlord" awful alt. title) has to be among the creepiest, realistic horror characters I've seen in a long time. The performance is minimal, yet highly effective. I don't want to play this up too much, but he creeped me out like Hannibal Lecter in "Silence of the Lambs." At times, he also reminded me of Jame 'Buffalo Bill' Gumb in SOTL. Plus, his head looks like it's full of puss and ready to explode. He's disgusting. And, he's not the only despicable character in this movie. Within minutes, I was hopping that the husband's head would explode before the movie's end.

Newlyweds, expecting their first child, move into a new home, in which the creepy landlord has just installed 13 surveillance cameras, which he uses as his private Porn Hub and more. Also, a-hole husband is having an affair, which is rapidly becoming another ticking time bomb. How are these combustibles going to destroy these lives? Watch and see.

All of the performances are very good and quite effective. So is the direction, and the over all production. So, why the one star reviews? I don't have a clue. Maybe they were expecting a primal gorgy. It is definitely not that. It is violent, but not very bloody. Or maybe they were expecting something as sophisticated as "Silence of the Lambs." Who knows. But this is not a 1 star movie.

The build up is slow yet deliberate, so this isn't a movie for any one expecting a violent action fest. The couple's drama and the violence are nicely integrated. The general direction that the story takes is fairly predictable, however it remains compelling throughout. Some may guess the end, thought I'm certain that most will not. I want to give a hint, but I will restrain myself. Watch it for yourself. If you enjoy good quality, low budget drama/thriller/horror, I think this will satisfy.

I'm giving it 7 stars out of 10, although if I was rating it based on the low budget thriller/horror sub genre, I'd probably give it 10 stars for surprising me so much.
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Dead Set (2008– )
8/10
Dead Set: Excellent British TV Zombie Mini Series
19 September 2016
Almost all of the characters in "Dead Set" are the cast and crew of Britain's "Big Brother," who soon find themselves trying to survive an ever increasing number of ravenous undead. As usual, they pose almost as great a threat to themselves as the zombies do. The living made me recoil in disgust more than the zombie guts and gore. With just 2 or 3 exceptions, the cast of characters are a real miserable bunch of cretins. So, I was rooting for the zombies within minutes. For that reason, a big part of the suspense was, which one of these creeps will get slaughtered next and how deliciously gruesome will their demise be?

Although I've never willingly watched an entire episode of Big Brother (I truly hate all that "reality" drivel), I understood the premise...the social commentary in this film. I would love it if the zombies who watch that trash would turn against the real life reality show miscreants. That would be an episode I'd pop some corn for.

So, the characters are compelling mostly by being irritating, with a few exceptions. In addition, the story, which is just another variation on the usual zombie fare, is well written, including the dialogue, which is believable throughout. There's a bit of dark humor here and there and several unexpected character based twists. The director and production team did a fine job; the TV actors are very good; and the zombie make up and gore are excellent. Most of all, the drama is compelling and the plentiful action is exciting. And the ending was just plain crazy!

I'm a zombie genre lover and have watched the undisputed greats as well as lots of low budget garbage, hoping for some level of entertainment. I've been rewarded, I've been disappointed and I've gotten angry. So, as zombie movies go, this is one of the best limited budget offerings I've seen. I'm giving it 8 stars out of 10 partially for it's few flaws, buy also because many of the characters were just so unpleasant to watch.

Nonetheless, worth another watch, I'd say.
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Avenged (2013)
6/10
Not Nearly as Good as the Ratings Would Suggest
8 September 2016
Avenged is nothing more than a decent low budget revenge horror film. That's fine. I like this stuff. I don't even care if it's a ripoff of "I Spit on Your Grave," with Native American supernatural forces mixed in. I've always found that stuff to be hokey, but I'll go along for the ride. The story is quite familiar, but who cares, it's cheap horror. The characters are reasonably well developed for this genre, although the acting is spotty enough to knock the movie down a peg. The art direction is mostly good and the lighting is effective. The cinematography is fairly good most of the time, but too often, seriously betrays the film's low budget. The gore effects and CGI are good enough, considering. I could have enjoyed the movie and given it 4 stars for being above average and reasonably entertaining. But I'd bet my right eye that the 5 star reviews (9-10 stars on IMDb) are written by people with some connection to the filmmaker. This movie is just too flawed, in really big, obvious ways for that many people to love it that much. So watch it if you want, but I'd recommend lowering your expectation if you don't want to feel cheated at the end, as I and most of the honest reviewer were.
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Gila! (2012 TV Movie)
7/10
Hava Na-Gila? Yes Please
24 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
There might be a minor spoiler in my review.

Why remake "The Giant Gila Monster," one of the cheesiest teen drive-in flicks of the late 50's? Well, it has name recognition. Even with the name alteration, it's still marketable. The original story is in the public domain, so there're no royalties to pay. Maybe just for fun? My guess it all of the above. Make a few bucks and have fun. Why not?

The original 1959 film has little going for it other than it's nostalgic cheese factor and for it's collection of great hot rods. So what's the harm in a remake? Absolutely none! And this update, still set in the 50's, is better by far, which is rare and a minor miracle, if you ask me.

As bad as the acting is, which might be deliberate, the characters are more complex and interesting. The story is also a little better, the direction is much better and the cinematography is totally competent. Totally. And, even though the CGI title character is so obviously animated, that's completely predictable, so no real harm done. Besides, with a film like this, ya laugh, let it go or get angry. Viewer's choice. Convincing giant monsters in low budget films are hard to come by, anyway. All that's decent praise for a low budget, straight to TV movie.

The only thing that the original has over this one is that wonderfully ridiculous opening narration, which lacks any facts or logic. It's priceless. The toxic spill accounting for the giant lizard's existence in the remake is too cliché to be any fun. No explanation would have been better, I think.

The hot rods are still very cool and a couple of the chicks are an upgrade from the original. And, the soundtrack of rock n' roll oldies and contemporary rockabilly is very good, maybe even the least flawed aspect of the film.

Even though it is forgettable low budget garbage, it's still pretty fun. I'll probably give it another look, one of these days.
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The Wave (2015)
6/10
Visually Strong Norwegian Disaster Pic
12 August 2016
"The Wave" is what happens to the residents of a small Norwegian town, who discover that when a whole mountain goes bye bye, it's wave packs a 280 ft. wallop!!!

It is a formulaic disaster movie, but that's not so bad. The script is a well written variation on the usual disaster structure. It's a perfectly good piece of entertainment.

The visuals are excellent, including the CGI, cinematography and lighting. And of course, the Norwegian countryside is breathtaking. Because the streaming site I watched it on features so many Asylum productions (SyFy channel/Sharknado), I must say that while those films usually follow the same formula, "The Wave" is vastly superior. Vastly! It's also superior to the way over the top "San Andreas," also from 2015, because this one's a whole lot more believable.

The problem I had with the movie was the dubbed acting. The translation to English is awkward and the actors are weak. One of the women delivered her lines like a TV spokesmodel; a so bad it's funny moment that definitely does not characterize the whole film. I can't tell how good the Norwegian actors were, but they must have been better than the English language actors. That, to me, destroyed most of the appeal I might have had for the characters.

The reviewers who complained that they had to read subtitles probably watched a superior film, but couldn't appreciate it. Personally, I would have preferred it.

There were two minor distraction that I probably should ignore, but can't. One is that the lead kept reminding me of Walking Dead's Daryl and the teen boy's name was Sondra. I know it's different from Sandra, but it sounds the same. Couldn't they have changed that in the dubbed version? No big deal. I just wonder if anyone else was bugged by those things.

On a scale of 1 -10, I'd give it a 6 or 7. I'd be disappointed if I paid big bucks to see in a theater, yet consider it better than average for a "free" streaming film. Not great, but a perfectly good way to spend an evening with the family, or alone.
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6/10
Phantom From Space: Minor 50's Sci-Fi Nostalgia Piece
29 July 2016
Although I grew up watching old sci-fi and horror films on TV in the 60's, this is one I don't remember seeing. Not until I got it in a Mill Creek collection of 100 Sci- Fi Classics. What appealed to me immediately was that it was reminiscent of my many favorites from the 50's; pure nostalgia.

The story of an alien from another planet, crash landing off the coast of L.A. and simply trying to escape capture to survive, killing as necessary, is serviceable yet certainly could have been portrayed more compellingly. The acting is typical 'B' melodrama, the effects are fairly good for the era, and the story is just OK. Staging much of it as a police procedural, which was very popular at the time, is an effective budget device. I don't think it's a stretch to suppose that the budget and shooting schedule were insufficient to do much more with the film. That and it's seventy-two minute run time don't allow for additional story details, action sequences, nor engaging characterization. Not that Billy Wilder's little brother, W. Lee Wilder had what it took to make more out of such meager resources, anyway.

Be that as it may, Wilder did a decent job, as he did with several other lesser 'B' classics including, "Killers From Space," "The Man Without a Body," and "Once a Thief," which just might be his masterpiece.

Nonetheless, this modest piece of nostalgia has an effective soundtrack featuring theremin and an eerie choir. I usually half-watch it when I'm busy doing something else. Far from great, but I still like it.
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B.C. Butcher (2016)
7/10
Cockeyed Caveman Camp
22 July 2016
If you've seen a single Troma film, you are practically an expert in what they infamously produce. They are almost a genre unto themselves. To call them bad isn't really an insult, it's mission accomplished. And describing what's wrong with them is high praise. B.C. Butcher happens to be one of their more accessible films and guaranteed to be the most unique slasher spoof ever.

B.C. bimbo #1 finds out that B.C. bimbo #2 has been doing it with her boyfriend, and so disembowels her with a spear. Left for dead, but not quite dead, a hideous hermit caveman scoops her up and takes her home. Bimbo #2 telepathically sends him on a killing spree of revenge. It's all amusing nonsense. Obviously, everyone involved in making this movie is in on the joke.

I don't know how many in the cast are recognizable to anyone else, but Kato Kaelin, famous for being O.J. Simpson's tenant at the time of the football hero's killing spree, appears to be having a great time hamming it up for the camera. He's fun to watch. And Rodney Bingenheimer, longtime L.A. D.J. and alternative music star maker has a cameo.

The gore is deliberately poor. However, there are several really good independent rock songs. I don't know if there's a soundtrack album, but there should be. If you like camp, this is likely to entertain. And if you're not sure you want to waste 90 minutes, cheer up! It's only 51 minutes long.
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Deathgasm (2015)
8/10
Deathgasm: Goregasmic Horromedy
16 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
***Minor Spoilers***"Deathgasm" sounds like the stupid title for a stupid movie, yet the ratings and reviews are pretty good for horror, so I checked it out. I was rewarded big time! Turns out, the title is perfect. It really nails the enthusiastically violent nature of the movie, as well as the mentality of the two teen lead characters.

Evidently, it's target audience is teenage boys who love metal, but while I'm decades past that, I still loved it. Although there's lots of metal in the film, it's not necessary to love it to enjoy the movie. However, it is necessary to enjoy excessive gore. About the gore, I want to make clear that it is over the top cartoon gore; it is not torture porn. It's not about hurting people, it's about killing demons/monsters.

The characters are lovable misfits, there's plenty of funny dialogue and visual humor, and if there's a gorier movie out there, I haven't seen it. For the easily offended, there are truck loads of things to complain about: extremely graphic gore, including genital trimming and a rectal rooting, along with all the usual dismemberments, nudity, though not nearly enough, excessive foul language, irreverent attitudes and more gore.

Most of the make up effects and all the gore are practical effects and they're excellent. Some of the digital effects are not great, but they're used minimally and don't detract too much. The overall production design, lighting and cinematography are all very good. It's not a perfect film, but it's so much fun, that it's sins are easy to overlook.

The characters are reasonably well developed for this kind of movie, and appropriately shallow. They don't evolve so much as gradually reveal their true natures. Lead, Milo Cawthorn, who was also in the fun and violent "Blood Punch," is very good, again. James Blake, who plays his buddy, is perfect. I had friends like that back when Black Sabbath WAS heavy metal. The lead babe, played by Kimberley Crossman, is luscious and funny. And, "Deathgasm" is digital effects pro, Jason Lei Howden's, directorial debut and it is impressive. These people have long futures in filmmaking. The supporting cast is also very good and funny.

Comparisons to Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead," Peter Jackson's "Dead Alive," and Edgar Wright's "Shaun of the Dead" are spot on. All have become classic horror films from first time feature length filmmakers who are still making worthwhile films. My guess is that Howden will become well known and be making entertaining movies for years to come. I would also look for Milo Cawthorn to show up in more prominent movies.

Again, lots of fun, but definitely not for the squeamish, the easily offended, or even those who require perfection in order to enjoy a film.
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Dark Forest (2015)
3/10
Run Forest, Run!
14 July 2016
This is one of those films that is so highly rated and reviewed, and sucks so bad, that there is no doubt that the strong ratings are from the filmmaker, his friends, the cast and crew, and probably even his mom and dad. Despite the reviews and multiple star ratings, the title was the first clue that this movie lacked imagination. And so it is. Lousy, uninteresting dialogue, undeveloped, obnoxious characters, clumsy acting, incompetent lighting, unimaginative cinematography, dreadful diy soundtrack, including several substandard pop songs, uninspired story, and no scares, mystery, or surprises and just plain dumb. Three or four of the girls are what guys might hope for in a movie like this, the rest are slightly above average. Nothing of interest happens for at least 30 minutes and then when it does, it's not worth the wait. The kills are poorly directed and another big disappointment. The best things about the whole 75 mins are that the Canadian forests are beautiful and the killer really looks creepy. Director, Roger Boyer, may be an aspiring filmmaker, but based on this example, his first full length film, he lacks the talent and artistic spark to ever create anything notable. I was tricked into giving this crap a look. You need not make the same mistake. If you value your time, avoid the Dark Forest at all costs. Run Forest, Run! You have been warned.
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Monk3ys (2011)
8/10
Shock N Bake for Monk3ys
21 May 2016
Mix one overbearing recovering alcoholic jerk, an active alcoholic, a repressed time-bomb twerp, mix in several bottles of whiskey & savor the delicious madness. Three incompetent, unbalanced psychologists select three combustible character types, under the pretense of a serious social experiment, to spend two unobserved days in a small room, while cameras record the proceedings. Needless to say, things go predictably bad before going terribly, terribly wrong. Appearing to be an unscripted, found footage film, "Monk3ys" is so brilliantly scripted & acted & edited, that it succeeds as one of the most convincing films of it's type. Although I found it under horror, it's really a thriller, but unlike any mainstream thriller ever made or likely to get made. Imagine raw footage for a super low budget reality show, like a poverty row "Big Brother," gone violently out of control. I found it compelling throughout, & for my patience, a nice payoff at the end. It is unquestionably independent & low budget & I would not recommend it to anyone who doesn't appreciate anything but mainstream or commercial independent thriller/horror films. Up for something different? Sample the "Monk3ys."
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