zach-medearis Reviews

Morbius (2022)

This is a vampire movie starring Jared Leto

[5/10 · 26 July 2022]

This Jared Leto vampire movie is a movie that has vampires and Jared Leto in it. It is exactly what you would expect from a movie about those 2 things.

The Harder They Fall (2021)

It's got guns, horses and cowboy hats. Enjoy

[8/10 · 4 November 2021]

Why are there so many negative reviews about how black this movie is? It was a solid western movie. Also if Regina King is in it, it's probably pretty f@&king good. Likewise with Idris. Stop with all your bullsh!t and just enjoy a good shoot 'em up revenge western. Get over yourself. Smoke a j and enjoy, that's what movies are for.

The Darkest Hour (2011)

It fine! Just relax

[8/10 · 15 July 2021]

What are you expecting and why choose to hate this movie? It did exactly what I expected it to do. I only reviewed this movie to bring the score above a 4.8. It's a solid 5.3 in my opinion.

The Ice Road (2021)

It's like die hard 5 but with trucks and ice

[4/10 · 25 June 2021]

This movie didn't need to be made. I'm surprised the eggheads at Netflix didn't just cast Adam Sandler. I'm neither a trucker or a miner, but I'm Insulted on the behalf of both professions.

The Seventh Day (I) (2021)

Seventh Day, more like crap day

[2/10 · 25 June 2021]

There are so many other things you should do than watch this. Like you could run errands, or grocery shop, or fall off a cliff while on fire. Not good at all and I have terrible taste.

The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

Why bother watching other movies

[10/10 · 25 June 2021]

This movie is so masculine, it could grow a mustache on a tit. This is what action sci fi is supposed to be. Lasers, space, and S%*t. Perfect.

Armageddon (1998)

What a ride.

[6/10 · 4 January 2021]

I hope you packed some Dramamine, because this rollercoaster ride is a real thrill. A rag tag crew of hilarity is bent on saving the earth. Put your seatbelt on because this bad boy just got kicked into 6th gear.

Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

It's fine

[6/10 · 25 December 2020]

You know what you signed up for. Apparently the director thinks computers make beeping noises when they're figuring stuff out. 2007 was a whacky year.

2012 (I) (2009)

You can totally watch it

[5/10 · 22 December 2020]

It's not that bad. It's got earthquakes and stuff. It's like Independence Day but with volcanos instead of aliens. It's watchable

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

I'm a huge jar jar fan

[6/10 · 19 December 2020]

Jar jar made so many nerds mad and that made me happy. It's lasers in space. Get over it

Hubie Halloween (2020)

Why

[2/10 · 17 December 2020]

The eggheads at Netflix just green light whatever dumb voice this guy wants to do. Ooooh a foul mouthed old lady in the movie.... real groundbreaking stuff here.

The 13th Warrior (1999)

Yea it's fine

[5/10 · 17 December 2020]

You can watch it. It's got a brown guy playing a different type of brown guy, so that seemed weird, but if you can get past that, it's a movie you can watch on your tv.

Underworld: Awakening (2012)

It's a movie.

[5/10 · 17 December 2020]

It's not that bad. You can watch it. It's a movie and someone made it. So in conclusion, you can watch it or not.

Mulan (2020)

It's not that bad

[6/10 · 17 December 2020]

It's a movie, you can watch it. It's not that bad. Turn on the tv and watch it

Blown Away (1994)

What's going on with the accents?

[4/10 · 15 October 2020]

Forrest Whitaker's accent: What's that thing all about? Jeff bridges accent: dude pick one. Tommy Lee Jones accent: he researched Northern Ireland accents watching lucky charms commercials. The movie is watchable regardless of the accent debacle. Also Jeff Bridges rides a motorcycle without a helmet, so that's neat. Tommy Lee Jones listening to U2 while making bombs= huge eye roll.

The Wrong Missy (2020)

It's a David Spade movie. What did you expect?

[6/10 · 27 June 2020]

I pretty much wrote my review in the title for this review. Unless you're busy in the garage trying to work out the cure for cancer, I'm sure you got 91 minutes laying around.

The 'Burbs (1989)

This might be the best movie ever made.

[10/10 · 27 June 2020]

I saw this movie in theaters in 1989. I watch it multiple times a year since then. Here's the deal, it has satanists, neighborhood gossip, Corey Feldman in a confusing tie-dyed/studded leather jacket combo, an unstable Vietnam vet, an annoying neighbor that talks too much, a dog taking a dump on Rumsfields lawn, bees, tom hanks reluctantly eating sardines with pretzels, breaking and entering and much much more. It is the perfect movie. Cut any fat from this movie and it becomes ineffective as a narrative. Burn a bushel of jazz cabbage and enjoy.

Our House (I) (2018)

Not terrible. Not great.

[5/10 · 27 June 2020]

It's a movie that we've seen tons of iterations of before. However, the subject matter is interesting, and watchable enough. Just honk on a j-bird and waste 89 minutes while eating Doritos off your chest while you lay down on the couch, it's cool-no shame.