jwcstorage Reviews

Mr Inbetween (2018– )

Fantastic from start to finish

[8/10 · 13 May 2024]

I never heard of "The Magician" (2005) this show is a continuation of before starting Mr. Inbetween, and the show itself was a random recommendation on a meme website of a "rare, hidden gem" and boy oh boy was that correct.

The show is more or less your typical "bad guy doing bad things" show, and I've seen many fans likening it to Breaking Bad and Barry, but I went in blind knowing nothing other than wanting a good new show to watch.

I ended up binging the entire three seasons in 2 days.

All of the actors are great in their respective roles, and minor character (Natalie Tran) was a Youtuber who just kinda disappeared but I was a big fan of, and now shes in the Aussie showbiz! The main character, Ray, feels much more "real" in a way that a lot of American characters come across in shows or movies. His reactions are often subtle, even when engaging in extreme violence. He goes through absolute HECK in the very short time we spend with him as he lives his life as a 'fixer' with a special needs brother, a daughter from a woman he is no longer with, anger issues, and a father who is absent but nevertheless plays a huge part in the overarching story of our main character Ray.

The show isnt perfect, as there are a few plot holes here and there that are never addressed, but you will rarely even notice that theyre there.

If, by some chance, you see this review before watching it, just go watch it. Apparently even in Australia its not well known, which is a shame because it deserves more praise and attention.

As a rarity, the IMDB scores ACTUALLY reflect the product.

Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)

Grain harvest and back story: the movie!

[3/10 · 30 April 2024]

So the title kind of says it all.

A huge portion of this film is dedicated to the harvesting of grain and the "I was oh so important" backstories.

If you like watching grain grow and get harvested, oh boy this movie is for you! Get ready for slow-motion grain-gathering action!!

I still dont know how this space-faring group of people who have extremely advanced technology need grain so badly and have no technology to grow food. It truly boggles the mind.

Each character has a "hugely important" and special backstory that they share one after another, in loooong, drawn out, slow-mo stories where everyone has a nice cry about how they didnt want to be violent, but dag nabbit, the universe just forced them all to.

The main character murders a huge number of people but instead of wiping out the last few witnesses, suddenly she just cant do it. All those other lives ended? NO PROB! The handful of people framing her for the murder of the royal family? Now thats a step too far buddy!!!

The big baddie is a mustache twirling, ally murdering madman whose actions are laughable, short sighted, and petty.

The story was just awful.

Effects were nice though. Snyder really wants to be the dark and gritty Star Wars. Color is almost always drained out of scenes to an excessive amount, unless its the "special" scenes (read: action).

I dont know why this story needed to be told. It felt as though it was pointless. And this tiny farming village vs space zealots was just bad.

I have no idea who this movie is for, because I enjoyed a lot of things contained in this movie, but wish they were in another movie, like the budget and the special effects and some of the actors.

The three stars is for those positive qualities.

Civil War (2024)

A lot of emptiness

[6/10 · 17 April 2024]

I went into Civil War blind, knowing almost nothing about it and not knowing what to expect.

A war correspondence movie was not it.

I've watched similar movies in the past, but found this one surprisingly empty in more ways than one.

The script feels very loose and meandering, even though its a pretty straight forward Point A to Point B scenario.

The characters feel rather shallow, which is odd considering a majority of the movie is focused solely on them. They also feel more lumped together than a cohesive group.

The world is also pretty empty, which is odd considering that they're driving through the heart of a wartorn America.

The story, likewise, is pretty empty. For a lot of talking, the audience doesnt really get much from any of the characters. They still felt mostly like strangers by the end of the film.

Once the movie began, I knew I shouldnt be expecting large scale battles or anything like that, the movie was too intimate and close, not to mention we're following 4 members of the press. Theres really only a small handful of important, impactful scenes, but the audience doesnt have much of a reason to care about them.

By the end, two of our 'heroes' are dead, and one seems to have lost his sense of self to the point where he effectively advocates and accepts the presidents death.

It wasnt a bad movie, it just also wasnt a very good movie, or story.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Bad, low quality, inconsistent, edgelord movie

[3/10 · 13 February 2024]

While watching this, you can see all the OBVIOUS 'influences' from popular media. Dune, Star Wars, Seven Samurai, etc.

The acting is... ok enough, I guess? No performances really stand out as good or exceptional. Everyone was more or less one note. Speaking of one note, all the characters who are recruited do one thing and then are background characters the rest of the movie.

I've heard some say the script is like chatGPT and its an apt comparison.

When I say its "low quality", I dont mean the effects, which can be really gorgeous. I mean the 'world' itself. There is so much nonsensical stuff that it boggles the mind. Some characters wear more or less hockey pads as "armor" which cover like 5% of their body, while the rest wear robes and cloaks. I dont know if any of the armor is supposed to be practical, and neither does the movie. And for some reason 20th century Earthen necktie and dress shirts and trench coats??? (The symbolism is so obvious, Snyder might as well have jumped out and screamed ITS JUST LIKE WW2!!!!)

So much of the movie is clearly Snyder going "Yo, this would be so cool!!!" and thats as far as his thinking went. Hence the 'edgelord' of it all. This goes for a lot of the characters costumes as well, which didnt feel like it had any consistency, but again was "YO THIS IS COOL!"

The dialogue and exposition are stilted, and hamfisted.

And of COURSE, pretty much all of the center-stage aliens are basically humans/humanoid, because as we all know, all evolved life in the galaxy will be shaped like humans.

Yes, there is the ridiculous, slow mo into super slow mo for no reason.

For some reason, super powers can travel the galaxy in no time with fuel not being a problem yet no one in this galaxy figured out how to grow food with artificial lights and rely on "grain" (get ready to hear that word 9001 times!)

In this end, this felt like a long pointless endeavor of wasted talent and budget. I have no idea why this was made, who the target audience is, or if anything besides the edgelord "YO THIS IS COOL" was put into the characters, world, lore, history, dialogue, etc.

If you are able to turn off your brain and go "Ohhh pretty colors" then you might love this.

Seriously, check your brain at the door before you hit play on this movie.

Dinner in America (2020)

Very pleasantly surprised

[8/10 · 12 February 2024]

OK I'm gonna get this out of the way right off the jump: I watched this because of the favorable review given by RLM.

With that said.

Dinner In America: Punk rock love song.

Kyle Gallner is the leading force in this movie and almost every scene he looks like hes about to angrily storm out of the TV and insult the viewer, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Kyle plays punk rocker Simon as we follow him for a few days in the life of. Soon enough he meets Patty (Emily Skeggs) and their lives collide in a beautiful car crash of "just what each of them needed".

Simon (Kyle Gallner) is an angry young man without direction and living on the fringes of society. Patty is an odd, timid and quiet girl pushed to the fringes of society. When the two come together, they make beautiful music, both literally and figuratively.

The story itself has no big twists or anything like that, its just a solid story. Even though they're very different movies, it reminds me a bit of Superbad, in a way, where everything comes together to make a perfect day for our characters.

Over the course of a relatively short time, the two leads bleed a bit of their own personalities into one another in a much needed way.

The side characters are all enjoyable, the movie never feels dull, and it all feels believable.

I'm not into punk rock much myself, but dont worry, if you are into it theres a solid set at the end, and if you're not, theres only a few minutes at the end. Its more that hes living the true punk rock lifestyle.

I highly enjoyed and recommend this.

Ted (2024)

Unfunny slog

[1/10 · 13 January 2024]

I legit enjoyed the movie Ted and Ted 2 was ok but not as good imho.

I had no clue this was even a thing until I stumbled upon Ted the series by accident and was like "Hey! I like Ted and Ted 2 and The Orville! I even used to like Family Guy! This should be totally me!"

Its not.

Ted the series plays out like a bad version of Family Guy without any of the cut-away jokes. Instead, they do the same type of cut-away joke but there just isnt any cut-away.

Example: Hey Chris! Remember when I was a tuba for the Boston Philharmonic? ~cut-away to Peter being a tuba~

Its that kind of joke, except theres no cut-away.

The first time I watched it, I couldnt even get through the first episode. I came back and watched a couple episodes. It didnt get any better. In fact, it felt like it got worse as it went on.

I have no clue how this has positive reviews. Its just straight up not a good show.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Leave this movie behind

[3/10 · 15 December 2023]

I'm going to start out with the only positive this movie has: If you want to experience actual real-life confusion and fear movie of pretty much all communication going down and the US being under assault by an unknown entity with all the uncertainty that comes with it, this does it pretty well.

As a story, it stinks.

There is a lot of manufactured and false tension throughout this movie, and not just from the actors but the script too.

Some parts of the movie are done decently enough, but its aimless and pointless. There are "threats" insofar as the characters believe there to be. Then there are unexplained and ridiculous things like dozens or "hundreds" of deer showing up to.............. stare menacingly. Seriously thats it.

Then there is the "loud noise" that seemingly appears out of nowhere and reaches Long Island with enough intensity to make the characters cringe in pain, and any thinking audience cringe with annoyance. Noises to the extent and effect need to be caused by SOMETHING: a tower, aircraft, etc., but they're just...... everywhere, I guess?

Thats also a big problem with the movie, theres a lot of "I guess...?" in it.

The son gets sick ..... I guess? Its not explained what his sickness is, what the medicine he uses is, what they hope to help with the medicine just... "OK, hes losing teeth, and is sick, and now has SOME kind of medicine........ I guess?"

There is a massive crashed plane that one of the characters stumble across, but he doesnt notice the HUGE wreck and dead bodies because of a watch.... I guess?

Pretty much every character is obnoxious and abrassive in their own ways. The little girl just wants to watch Friends. The boy is a horny mess. The mom is an untrusting psychopath who seems to be extraordinarily hormonal. The two fathers try to project calm but do so unrealistically. The black daughter seems to be out to try to anger EVERYONE around her for no reason.

Early in the film, the black father and daughter come to the house, and its EXTREMELY CLEAR that they know the home very well, are very wealthy themselves (clothing, car), and have intimate details of communications no one else would have. Yet the mother doesnt trust anything for absolutely no reason.

Honestly, this movie is not worth your time.

It ends with a non-ending that tries to be cute but falls flat.

I've never rooted for an entire cast to be wiped out as much as I have for the entire, very lengthy runtime which could have been cut in half.

And of course, there HAS to be the convenient 'doomsday prepper' who has knowledge he shouldnt and is there just to cause more artificial tension.

Leave this movie behind.

The Creator (2023)

Just dont think about it...

[7/10 · 24 November 2023]

I liked this movie quite a bit, though it presents itself a bit as a 'thinking persons' action movie, but if you DO think deeper about it you'll find a ton of inconsistencies across the board.

Before we get to those, lets talk about the positives. The movie looks amazing and the alt-present/future tech is well thought out and interesting. The lead actor is good, if a bit generic feeling, but I feel that is more the scripts fault than his.

The movie overall flows well and there are few dull spots. The action scenes are well shot without a lot of shakey cam so you actually get to see whats going on. The story itself is a bit bare-bones and predictable (of COURSE hes going to form an emotional attachment to the "child" and turn against his former allies).

The score was serviceable but nothing amazing. You barely notice its there unless you're listening for it.

Now on to the issues this movie has...

There is a problem where the movie has the AI worship buddhist beliefs of rebirth and acceptance of death, and yet we see fully mechanical AI "fearful" of death/destruction.

The AI is also quite dumb. You would think such a tireless advancement in technology could better protect itself, better predict the actions of its enemy, create new and devastating weapons, but no. AI is both super advanced and super stupid.

There is also the "tear jerker" final meeting of our hero and his wife, who conveniently find one another even though there is no reason that Joshua should have gone to where she was (or that she should have even woken up). Worse, according to the movie, Maya has been comatose since an attack at the beginning of the movie. An attack which Maya felt betrayed by Joshua enough to abandon him with their unborn child still inside her. Yet when they meet up, her memory chip implanted into a replicant, it is in "I love you Joshua!!!" mode when the last time they saw each other she had a gun trained on him ready to shoot.

The movie also suffers from the tired Hollywood trope of "Destroy the mothership and win" cliche.

The movie ends with this, and with what is supposed to seem like a happy ending except... now the child is alone without a super soldier protecting her and a very angry militaristic United States who has no problem violating foreign sovereignty to engage in black ops attacks on foreign soil. Her powers are still at "baby level" (she can only control stuff within a few feet of her) as we learn they will grow along with her. Sure, they lost a low orbit space station, but they still have plenty of weapons, ships, tanks, etc. At their disposal. And we know nukes exist. So with the U. S. being able to now claim "proof" that AI are attacking the US, the response would very likely be the complete nuclear obliteration of all AI sites. They already have the location of the sites as it is so there is no reason they cant use any number of tactics to destroy the remaining AI hubs. Especially now that 'Niramata' is dead and cant create another god-child.

Not to mention the child is effectively orphaned now, with both of its "parents" truly dead and gone with no chance of 'rebirth'.

There is actually quite a lot more from themes to characters to weapons (like the "claw bomb" which explodes with enough force to Death Star an airship but inside of a temple it just goes off with a little poof) but I digress and theres far too much to cover in this one review.

In the end the many inconsistencies makes the world of the movie clash with the messaging its trying to say. So, as the title says, as long as you dont really think about any of it, its fine. Its a gorgeous sci-fi movie the likes and scope of which we rarely see. The movie just needed someone to take a second pass at the script so things actually made sense when scrutinized. Not everyone is bothered by such glaring flaws, and I would totally recommend it to most people.

Painkiller (2023)

Tedious

[5/10 · 20 August 2023]

This is basically the story of the meteoric rise and tiny dip for the Sackler family, makers of OxyContin.

The show itself is mostly ok. Theres a few major issues I have with it, however. They drag out certain story beats about 5-10x longer than they need to be, filled with mundane things and using a very repetitive technique of looping different versions of the same scene on top of one another. Other shows/movies have done thing, but typically it only happens once or twice. It is frequent. It feels like they repeat things 4-7 times an episode to varying degrees.

Its also pretty straight forward. If you are at all familiar with the opiod epidemic and the Sacklers role, its mainly just rehashing old ground.

There is an exceptional part at the beginning of episodes in which real people share the stories of how they lost a loved one to opiod abuse/overdose. Even though they're short, they're pretty heartbreaking.

The way they portrayed the "good man turned junky" left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel it borders on the edge of victim blaming. They very very briefly touch on how the pills were prescribed for 12 hour periods knowing that it would not last 12 hours for most people, but kept hammering away at the fallen "good man".

If you removed all the repition, I feel like this could be 4 episodes long, max.

The show is fine but dont expect to be blown away unless you dont really know about the opiod epidemic at all.

Twisted Metal (2023– )

How is this one of the best show on TV right now?

[7/10 · 14 August 2023]

This feels like a show from a bygone era: Locally made no-budget B-movies that somehow manage to be bad yet somehow great too?

The shots are flat, oversaturated, uninteresting, and often ugly. The effects are bad and shockingly subpar for today. The plot is predictable (though it does manage a few surprises). The world is about as big as a postage stamp. It looks cheaply made. Most of the acting is pretty 'whoever they could round up locally for their b-movie' level... even though it stars Anthony Mackie.

HOWEVER! It has charm. The driving chase/fighting scenes are real cars in real places being driven by real drivers. The locations are real locations that actually exist in the world and not only inside a computer. The humor is pretty spot-on for the material and quality of the show, which means the goofiness fits the end-product show. Theres a half-naked maniacal clown who drives an ice cream truck with machine guns who lusts for destruction.

By no means is this a show for everyone. Its based on an "edgy" PS1 game about cars blowing each other up with zany drivers. I dont know how they sqeezed this decent of a show. Its ridiculous and it shouldnt work, but nevertheless its good silly fun.

Strange Planet (2023– )

One star for one note show.

[1/10 · 14 August 2023]

I really enjoy the comic Strange Planet, which is just short and quippy enough to tackle a hyper specific topic and show the absurdities in them. When I learned just recently that Apple was releasing a series of this, I was hoping for a fun little continuing story that had their odd mannerisms peppered throughout as they attempt to navigate towards whatever their nebulous goal is.

Its not that. Its a sketch comedy show essentially, and I use that term very lightly.

The series, unfortunately, is blandly one note. Its less interesting than the comic because it has to try to tell snippets of a story for a couple minutes, but the story of these strange aliens engaging in normal human behavior and showing the silliness of everyday life is lost in translation here.

When reading the comic you will use any voice you want for these aliens, and with their very specific styles of speaking (often with "Oooooh"s), its easy to imagine them with the typical "alien" voice. One that is higher pitched, kind of silly, and not a standard American English. These aliens speak like American actors, which tends to break the scifi/fantasy/mundane style reality of their world.

This translating into a show from the comic seems like a no-brainer easy win, but they seem to have forgotten part of what makes the comic enjoyable: being funny. I feel part of it is dragging out a 4-panel comic to a 10 minute sketch/joke. Theres just not enough there to realistically buy into it and the humor is stretched way too thin and way too repetitively.

I gave up on my first viewing about 75% the way through the first of two skits in the first episode, but came back to give it a full chance. I regret it. I watched episode one and two and did not even so much as gently blow air out of my nose in amusement, as the aliens would say. Its sad to say that the show is about as funny as my review was.

Euphoria (2019– )

Gorgeous but empty, like the characters

[4/10 · 10 May 2023]

3 of the four stars are for the gorgeous cinematography. The last star is for SOME of the acting. The story gets zero stars.

I dont disbelieve that there are teens out there that live these kinds of lifestyles, but not these teens in the show. They all seem to barely be functioning humans, much less teenagers. I also understand that teens make bad choices, get in trouble, make mistakes, but again, not in the timeframe in which this show is showing.

It feels like one big 'prestige' drama about drugs and sex with no one at the helm.

Character growth is non-existent but for a few rare and random people. No one learns from their mistakes, improves their lives in any meaningful way, or even has a fall from grace. Everything they do, no matter how horrendous or harmful, they end up back in the same place. Watching it feels like spinning your tires in the mud and expecting a different result from the past four hours of doing the same thing.

With that said, the visuals are great... I just wish they were attached to something with substance, but I guess thats the point. "Oh look at me, I'm so high and glamorous" but in reality you're two inches away from your best friends face laughing like an idiot.

The acting has range, and I dont mean that in a good sense. Some of it ranges from very believable to unfortunately one dimensional cutouts of every teen drama youve ever seen.

You will also spend a good portion of what feels like every episode watching 5-15 minutes of people engaged in bad decision acts in the afformentioned beautiful cinematography but its so hamfisted and goes on for SUCH a long time and happens with such regularity that I was bored even the first time it happened.

I'm sorry to say that this is just a teen drama dressed up in HBO and A24's prestigeness.

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

Brovatar - The Way of Broage

[4/10 · 11 April 2023]

Bro. Are you reading this review right now bro? Has the bro number of bro's started to become annoying? No? Well bro, do you like watching a 3 hour AAA game cutscene bro? Bro, I hope you're ready bro!

CUZ BRO IVE GOT THE BROING MOVIE FOR YOU BRO!!!!!!

Alternate title for this flick: Fool of a Tuk!

I dont know who is so strongly upvoting this movie or why. The story is basic. The main character Jake "Do you even remember my name after 2 movies" Sully has seemed to forget that he was ever a human (except to teach his kids "bro" and "sir"). Even if you're going into this hoping for another amazing visual feast including interesting and new water creatures... its just not good. The designs are re-used, we have water versions of the flying creatures this time which are effectively a copy/paste skin job of putting "fish design" on top of "flying creature" skin. The ocean creatures are likewise uninspired. They made a whale, but its not a whale, cuz its mouth opens weird.

I wish I could recommend the visuals, but the CGI doesnt feel impressive after 12 years. Yes, for some reason it took 12 years to make a generic nothing sandwich.

The plot is Jake "You forgot it again already huh" Sully knocked up his exotic blue girl and popped out a half dozen kids, all named "bro" conveniently! (Only half joking, that might as well be their names). But those wicked "Sky people" (as Jake "Im a human" Sully calls them) have returned after being banished. They no longer want resources but to TAKE OVER PANDORA! *Insert -mild shock- meme here* Since the newly arrived "sky people" have a vendetta against Jake "Really, again?" Sully, he flees from the familial colony that took him in and leaves them to their own defenses (good luck surviving the fire bombing that cleared out several miles of forest with bows and arrows), Mr. Sully abandons the familial colony that took in this outsider and runs away to the Magical Mystical people of Southeast Asia/Pacific Islanders! Dont worry though, they barely factor into the plot, just like the first Na'vi. Aside from a few leveling up a few skills they have to learn for later, they're basically a mcguffin.

With regards to the story, there barely is one. The sky people are back, and they want revenge! Specifically on Mr. Sully and his 97 kids. So they all run away from home after stirring up trouble for their adoptee family and flee to the safety of... open waters? Well, I guess its hard to firebomb open water.

Sullys male kids seemed to have learned only two English words: Bro and Sir (as alluded to above). Get ready for "bro" cuz you'll hear it about 3000 times. That and "Tuk", the idiot little offspring of Sully and Bluegirl. This Tuk brat constantly moves every plot point forward. If Tuk got eaten as a baby, this movie wouldnt have happened. Almost every key plot point is because Tuk is being an idiot for some reason. I wish this were hyperbole but its true.

It was a competent movie, and it looked fine (nowhere near as "mind blowing" as people felt about the first one... and in some instances it looked worse). Unobtainium is no longer a concern or care for the sky people as we've shifted from exploitation to colonization from James Cameron's "epic" tale.

Honestly, this whole movie felt like it could, and should, have been a 30 minute short. I have zero interest in seeing any more Avatars after this.

4/10 It was pretty but hollow. If you want to see pretty pictures moving in front of you while you mindlessly eat popcorn, thats fine, go watch it. But it is not a good movie. It is what I imagine dating an always-wealthy supermodel is like. Pretty but empty.

Only Murders in the Building (2021– )

Skip Season 2

[7/10 · 19 February 2023]

Had no idea this existed until the gf wanted something similar to Knives Out and Clue. Over the course of a few weeks we watched season 1 (very solid, worth the current review score) and season 2 (sloppy mess, feels more like a 4 star).

Season 2 review: Dont bother. The ending is almost pointless and feels like a rushed re-write when everyone realized who the REAL killer was supposed to be by episode 6. It feels obvious by the script, as well as Selena Gomez's massive weight changes throughout, that the second season went through massive reshoots, to its detriment. The only highlights are really Steve Martin and Martin Short hamming it up.

Season 1 review: Steve Martin and Martin Short are back together with the same chemistry they had in the old days. My gf, having only just having seen Three Amigos for the first time shortly before we learned about this, commented on the duo's comedy chops, which are still quite strong. Selena Gomez, unfortunately, is far more one note in all of her acting. Her speaking mannerism is this odd grumbly flatness and she rarely shows emotion or acting range and often just stands there and says her lines in her flat, monotone voice. Shes not exactly BAD, but she definitely is not good. Her lack of acting make Steve Martin and Martin Short shine by comparison. The trio stumble their way into each others otherwise secluded lives via their shared love of true crime podcasts. The story is engaging and often fun and funny, though there are also some very 'real' moments sprinkled throughout.

The first season gave us enough information to go on that you could absolutely figure out whodunit, while throwing in ample red herrings to throw you off the scent.

No such luck for the second season when it feels like the revealed killer comes out of the blue, and feels messy and disjointed.

There will inevitably be a season 3, and I hope that they have a better script than what they put us through from season 2.

The Menu (2022)

A fun romp in the minds of the service industry

[8/10 · 27 November 2022]

Sorry, no bad food-related pun title here.

The Menu is an overall enjoyable thriller, horror, comedy with a nice touch of wit and sarcasm flowing throughout the entire runtime. It starts a bit slow, and a bit in medias res, which will leave some viewers asking if they missed something (though they've seen the same as you). Some of what is thrown at you seems unimportant or unconnected, but it goes to explain the overall themes and plot.

Ralph Fines and Anya Taylor-Joy are both fantastic in this, as you'd expect, with the rest of the cast adding more nuance to the events of the evening.

My food-loving gf (who doesnt like "horror") enjoyed the movie a lot, even aside from each 'course'.

All in all its a quickly paced slow burn as the audience is on the lookout for what is hidden right under their noses.

The ending was goofy, tragic, and funny all at once.

You will definitely come away craving certain foods afterward!

Deus (2022)

Extended Dr Who episode

[3/10 · 14 September 2022]

Just finished Deus after going in blind.

The whole thing felt like a Dr Who episode, just with tons of extra padding.

The plot was quite sloppy, and the effects had a "made for TV" feeling to them. The acting was pretty meh throughout, with some strange choices being made at times (when the main character learns a major plot twist their response is pretty emotionless).

They had access to a pretty good cast, but even that was wasted.

Some of the twists throughout were kind of dumb, and the rest were painfully obvious. Many of the plot points were needless and didnt add anything to the story at all.

I'm a sucker for sci-fi but this just felt very underdeveloped, like it was a second draft that they greenlit without any rework.

This could easily have been shrunk down to a 30 minute tv episode (with commercials) and still provided all the same info.

Not really worth the time unfortunately.

Samaritan (I) (2022)

Obvious and mediocre.

[4/10 · 30 August 2022]

Everything you expect to happen in this movie happens. Its a very basic plot with a very obvious "twist".

Digital flames. Plugin gunshots. Assault rifle style weapons having zero kickback when fired.

The action scenes are pretty basic. Stallone looks like he could be in any Stallone vehicle, complete with jeans and a hoodie, especially when a fight starts. Either that or it cuts away far before Stallone strikes so Stallone doesnt have to strain himself too much.

It ignores its own lore. After one confrontation, Stallone requires ice cream and to cool down or he turns into a furnace. Later confrontations, he just doesnt, until the very end when it finally returns again when it obviously has to so it can 'pay off' but it doesnt really serve any purpose.

What you expect from the beginning is the twist. The twist being exactly what you expect feels like its there just so this movie isnt directly point A to point B the end.

Like many modern for-a-quick-buck movies, 90% of the script is ADR'd in.

Its not terribly shot, but a lot of it is pretty flat.

The acting ranges from 80's B movie, to 90's kids cartoon, to phoning it in. Everyone seems to be giving it their 43%!

The CGI for the special EMP grenades were kind of neat.

The kid actor wasnt so great, but that kind of tracks with the whole movie.

There is a side character that serves no purpose but to be an exposition dump and then show up at the end to say "YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG KID!" (Even though this is like the 74th person the kid has "guessed" was the Samaritan)

Stallone is the same Stallone he is in every Stallone'ing movie.

If you want a nothing-burger movie where you can turn your brain off and want to watch a competently put together flick, then this could be just what the doctor ordered!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A very low 'average' movie...

[3/10 · 5 March 2022]

Came for horror, left disappointed.

Some of the other world effects were pretty fun, and Kruger looked much less intricate than the originals and the Kruger face felt a bit flat overall.

The shots were pretty standard for a horror movie with only a few new kind of kill/world transitions.

The acting ranges from decent to really really bad.

Kruger impossibly slaughters the townsfolks kids for shifting reasons and in ways that are pretty clearly abnormal but no one really cares? The parents just complain about it, the kids are idiots and stick up for a Kruger, he turns around and gets his... revenge? On the people he terrorized throughout life, I guess?

The ending is just awful in every way imaginable.

It was very dumb, undid all the 'work' done by the protagonists, and brought no emotional response at all. It was basically 'oh'.

Immanence (2022)

Doing his best Denzel

[2/10 · 6 February 2022]

This movie is a decently made really bad 'religion religion religion' sci-fi extra-terrestrial object come-to-Earth movie. With the main character doing his darndest to look, sound, and have the presence of Denzel Washington, without quite hitting the mark. His performance is one of the guilty-pleasure highlights. Unfortunately, he continually rambles on with religious scripture whenever he gets a chance and pushing that religious narrative previously stated.

Go in knowing that the acting and the script are fairly amateurish. They do a lot of over-explaining and silly dialogue. It occasionally teeters on good-bad but then they fumble.

Its a pretty big skip and I rather regret the time spent on this movie.

There really is a LOT of religious talk against "science nerds" where the main character (Denzel*) systematically takes down their dumb science views to open yourself to god. And how dumb the scientists are. Ho-Hum 2/10.

The Long Night (2022)

Low-budget Suspiria

[5/10 · 5 February 2022]

This movie hits like a low-budget Suspiria, not that thats necessarily a bad thing!

Everything was mostly "good enough", including whatever they shot this with, and most of the acting and scenery, though the scenery is quite limited.

The scream of the main actress is kind of annoying, to be brutally honest, and with this being a horror movie you can expect lots of screaming and yelling.

The pace at first is quite slow, and a few plot points forgot to connect to anything, for some odd reason. Maybe to pad the length? If you can get past the first chunk of the movie until the horror element shows up, it picks up after that, to various extents.

Its pretty good overall, but as stated, everything about this movie was pretty standard fare. Nothing really elevated it to the point it needed, but it was a fun watch, hence my dead-center 5/10.

Its worth your time if you have the time and want a creepy horror film with some gore (a smidge of nudity). If you're into occult horror with a bit of hammy acting, this would be worth a lazy Sunday viewing.

The Empty Man (2020)

Lovecraftian, but not that way

[7/10 · 20 January 2022]

This is a bit of a psychological cosmic horror movie in a Lovecraftian-style, but not octopus horror, more an unknowable horror.

The movie has 3 different acts that all work pretty well on their own and as a whole elevate this movie. Unfortunately, the start of the second act is the weakest part and where you might struggle to go on. Continue, however, and if the premise above seems interesting, try to stick with it!

One of the movies strengths and weaknesses is its length. While you would want a movie like this the time it needs to breathe (no pun intended), it drags things out a bit too far. Some of the info we are provided could have been left vague or dangling, but by the end all your questions are basically answered. Again, this can be a pro or a con depending on the type of movies you like to watch.

It is definitely a bit of a niche movie, but it was overall enjoyable. The mood and the atmosphere, as well as the performances from the two core main male characters (the 1st part's main character and the 2nd and 3rd part is the same guy).

This is NOT a Slenderman-style ripoff. Go in with an open mind and zero expectations.

This is my second viewing, with me expecting it to be Slender'y the first time and giving up. I'm glad I revisited!

Zone 414 (2021)

Wearing Bladerunners clothes

[4/10 · 3 January 2022]

This movie is a fine little send-up to cyberpunk and especially Bladerunner, however it wears the clothing of that movie, like a kid brother.

It takes much of Bladerunner's vibe wholesale and doesnt understand the reasoning for Bladerunners setting, unfortunately. It ends up making the setting feel a bit disingenuous. A lot of the world exists in a way that doesnt make much sense for the story.

The generic "Asian" scenery makes no sense as the film does not seem to be set in Asia, nor is any of the cast Asian, and there is no impact of the setting for it, unlike with Bladerunner.

With that aside, the movie is pretty standard Android fare. No spoiler, but the Android wants to be a REAL human! And our beat down, down and out cop takes a job that isnt as straight forward as expected.

While basic, at least the movie is mostly engaging and watchable. Even slower moments will hold your attention. Unfortunately, its not the story thats doing it.

Overall, its a bit messy, steals Bladerunners whole vibe for no reason, is a bit predictable, even with its "twists", but if you're into the cyberpunk, neo-noir, android-centric stories, then this can kill a couple hours.

Don't Look Up (2021)

A co'meh'dy with a touch of soul

[6/10 · 30 December 2021]

Comedy is not the strong suit of this movie, so please dont go in expecting to be belly laughing.

What is good are the more serious scenes, such as the opening and the ending in particular. But they're rare.

The movie has a lot to say, which it wears on its sleeve, for better or worse. Trumpism, Americanism, the rise in power of the rich and famous over that of the general populace, those and so much more on full display behind a thin veneer of comedy. Which is a shame as it FEELS like this movie wanted to be profound but decided to just bookend the movie with it.

Aside from some really bad humor, the movie was quite watchable and went by mostly briskly for the extensive runtime.

Avoid it for family fun night, but not a terrible movie for a self-reflective night.

Chaos Walking (2021)

I'm tired of Todd Hewitt!

[2/10 · 25 November 2021]

The score is as high as it is mainly for NOT the movie but the crew and effects (vfx, sound, etc.). Other than being mostly an "in the forest" movie, this movie was decently made. MADE, not written, as the story is really Point A to Point B: the movie.

An overview of the movie is: a girl from "space" (who is just a human) lands and has to send a signal to the people on her ship.

Thats really the entirety of the movie.

I really enjoy the major cast in roles that were not this movie (Mads, Ridley, Hollands), and had high-ish hopes for this one after re-shoots and them delaying it due to COVID.

What the reshoots and delays were for, I have absolutely no idea!!!

The writing is particularly bad, made more-so by the "abilities" of male-only characters to make real their thoughts, to varying degrees. Why it is ONLY men doesnt seem to be of much importance, nor is their ability to create 3d creations with their mind.

The ending was ... abrupt and disappointing? The ending is a two parter but neither are of any importance really.

OH! And theres aliens. For what purpose? Who knows! Why does it have one arm? NO CLUE! Do the aliens have any impact on the plot or characters? NO NOT REALLY!

Even the ending dismisses the alien humanoid creatures that seem intelligent as a throw-away idea. "We're settling here and we dont care!" That is the end message you get from the movie.

Overall this was really a poor showing. Ive not read the books, but I could see potential with the idea of thoughts being omnipresent and having to deal with the fallout of that regularly. The movie just doesnt do much of anything with it.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Remember this!: The Movie

[3/10 · 20 November 2021]

If this movie was pitched to a studio as a stand-alone project with no attachment to any franchise, there is no way in Ghostbusters that this movie would have been made.

As a sequel, its one big bunch of memberberries. The movie is very trite and cloying.

A lot of people are saying that this movie is 'good', at least, but I disagree. Aside from being bland and generic, the world feels quite 'real' (if VERY empty!), then they give children nuclear powered ray guns, a car they are not old enough to drive, and an exceedingly dangerous pop-out gunner seat.

The ending is a bit of a slap in the face. Especially if you know anything about Harold Ramis and Bill Murray and the Ghostbusters movies.

There was very little to enjoy as most of the jokes are "things kids arent supposed to say lolz" by the board of directors.

I feel a lot of people are rating based more on nostalgia than this actual movie.

Disappointed.