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kristofen
Reviews
The Boy (2016)
Not Your Typical Thriller
Let's face it, dolls and poltergeists have been overdone in the past decades. It's always the same plot. However, it has NEVER been done like this. At first, it was a bit predictable. Nanny comes in, encounters creepy family, goes with the flow, experiences some disturbing shizz, still goes with the flow because continuity. There were some jumps that were nicely executed and it certainly kept the viewer interested. But movies like this usually head in one direction... This one, on the other hand, brought in something refreshing. I can honestly say I never saw the twist coming. There were very subtle hints, if any. Overall, it was above average yet unnerving. It wins a few points on creativity, so it's a 7.5. Rated it 9 to balance the score and encourage new opinions.
Juno (2007)
How is it disappointing?
I fail to see how the movie is disappointing, pretentious, or hypocritical. Juno CLEARLY states in the trailer that she's handling things beyond her maturity level. The production is self-aware. I've worked around teenagers for years and there's always that sarcastic, ironic, pretentious kid. It's rare, but it happens. Her dysfunctional family is no secret, we're supposed to accept Juno has a distorted perception of reality. Again, there's always a teen that acts out during turmoil. Parents see it all the time. Juno is just a movie after all, not meant to be taken seriously. It's as unrealistic as the action-packed assassin movies the critics praise. Don't let its mundane setting fool you; it's still just a movie.
Girl Meets World (2014)
Girl Meets Weird
I'm not too familiar with BMW therefore I can't compare them. The show looked like it could be promising. The lead actress is too nervous right off the bat. She needs to relax, her acting makes the series awkward. Maya on the other hand is a reaally good actress! She's got the right tone and gestures. I only think her character is written too mature for her age. It makes it weird to see this tiny teen acting like she has so much experience and giving life lessons. Kids shouldn't be seen that way. But I'm amazed by how smooth she is, my cousins and I only watch it cus of her (plus we think she's pretty). The Lucas guy looks way too old (like 17-18) to hang out with them (they look 12-13). Farkle does well for his role, he's supposed to be goofy but he does it with confidence, perhaps needs a little more face gestures. Cory and Topenga are kinda overkill for the show but I understand it's cool cus they were in the original. Cory gets too personal with his young students, it doesn't seem professional. And he doesn't have the coffee-pep most teachers have in the mornings. In fact, he acts the same in class as he does at home as a father. Topenga hardly does much in the series, sorta just mom stuff. The Little brother is funny, we hardly see him though. BMW had older actors so the deep lessons made sense. It doesn't work with young actresses and Disney. Since Disney can't go there, the deep lessons miss many significant elements. First episodes are about finding yourself. Like nahhh! Work your way up to that. I'm in college and STILL finding myself. This is why teens go through phases cus of all the pressure of finding their place whether it's a clique etc, that should just come. These girls should deal with mean bullies, trying out clubs, trying to get money, puberty, social networking issues, things girls their age experience. The episodes I've seen are about Riley and May as friendship like their friendships seem fake cus there's too much attention there. Put the attention somewhere else, and the friendship will naturally build up.
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
How I Met My Boredom
I've given this show several chances but it just hasn't blown me away. I watched the penny episode, the Barney runs a marathon, Lilly not wanting to invite her dad for thanksgiving, Lilly camping out for black Friday (and sorry if some of these are the same episode, it's just THAT random & hard to remember when there's no plot). Like when Marshall gives Robin and Ted his last Barney free-slap and they argue the whole episode on who should slap him, it's soooo boring and pointless. Like 1.They can slap Barney whenever they want to, they don't need this intangible "pass" to do it 2. If they really hate him so much, enough for Ted to admit he still loved Robin, then why the hell are they friends with him? 3. Robin, Ted, and Barney have been in a love triangle and this slap scenario is REALLY hard to believe considering their association. It seriously lacks continuity and makes me believe that they're just adults bored af desperate to do any whimsical thing in a non-satirical way (Sunny in Philadelphia does a great job with satire) but HIMYM does it in a super serious way. I don't need to know Neil Patrick Harris is popular to see that the writers are really milking his character. Since I haven't seen the older episodes, I never got to experience the cool Barney cus now they overuse him and it's annoying! He's not even original. Every comedy has a guy who wants all the ladies. And Lilly with "that son of a beesh" (is that her catch phrase?) It's not funny! I can sorta see what she's trying to go for but she just doesn't say it right. I was glad to see It's Always Sunny in Philly has a higher rating because it's very bold and controversial. The actors are fantastic. They could have the most boring dialogue but their comedic timing and intonation can turn it into a memorable quote."Making Einstein and everyone before him *slaps label on drawing board* look like a Bitch!"-Mac. They're real life friends, they know what they're doing, and they're not afraid to look ridiculous. HIMYM characters fall short in personality, all the characters are average (aside of Barney who has some color). Even Big Bang Theory has more uniqueness (I don't even like it but I prefer it over HIMYM). The pace is slow. Seriously I wanna know what I'm not getting? I know people who like it and they talk wonders of it. But what's so funny about these average characters in average situations with random discontinuity? I'll give it more chances but it for sure doesn't deserve an 8.5.
American Sniper (2014)
war is bad, thats the plot
I'm a pretty open minded person so, although I don't believe in war, I gave this film a chance since I heard it was good and it got nominated for a few Oscars. I'm finding it hard to digest this movie. It attempts to speak at a certain type of people rather than to everyone. I wanted a story, a plot, a twist, excitement. I got real life. They didn't even add some good quotes that stick with you. I think it got such high reviews because the people who admire war fail to see that this sort of thing happens every day. Soldiers die. That's what war is about. People seemed to be stupefied by the tragic murders depicted in the film. They were gross and inhumane, but it's no different than what happens daily, not just to Americans but to German, Chinese, French soldiers. The film doesn't even question war and it's morality, it just accepts killing. I felt like I was watching a documentary or playing call of duty at times. And important details were always excluded like why or how the ending happened. People just respect war because our people die for it, yet they fail to make any changes in their life routine to understand each other better. It makes them hypocrites and takes their ancestors in vain. It's a good film, it's just a little too long and lacks a morale. It's teaching the wrong values, encouraging violence over compromise. It's depressing and counter intuitive, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
The Day really did Stand Still...and I was bored out of my mind!
I am IN LOVE with Keanu Reeves (only reason I watched this movie), having said that, I was mildly disappointed with his performance. I couldn't be a negative nancy watching this with my boyfriend (Keanu lover as well), so I had to forcibly snatch any redeemable qualities for discussion. To be honest, nothing stood out. The concept of Aliens learning about humans is such an interesting theme but was wasted in this movie. Keanu is this type of "Terminator" sent to destroy earth that a scientist lady trusted bringing her child along in the journey. This is basically Terminator 2 but with a smoother Swatzernegger and less badassery. I think I fell asleep or my boyfriend and I ended up doing something else; either way, we didn't bother rewinding the movie for the parts we missed. And no matter how long you are gone, you didn't miss much. Keanu always has this subtle charm which we stuck around for. My bf hated Jaden Smith's snobby performance, though. The ending was cliché and foreseen. If you've seen any movie with different groups trying to understand each other or most Disney films, then you have seen The Day The Earth Stood Still.
Naruto: Shippûden (2007)
Fan of 10 years
I started following this series at a relative young age. Needless to say, I grew a little bored with it. At first, the characters were inspiring and relatable but now some characters with integrity turned into senseless killers or were forgotten/wasted. Narutos talk-no-jutsu got old right after the Pein arc if not before. Sakura was never given any interesting development. All she does is compare herself like an insecure little girl, it seems rather shallow. And no other girl character is ever deep or like-able (maybe Tsunade for like a moment). So our attention is usually focused on the rest of Team 7 and the Akatsuki. Like others have mentioned, new characters and issues spring up out of nowhere preventing actual concern to grow from the audience. Having said all that, I still give this series a 10/10 because unlike any other form of entertainment, its actually kept my attention for this long. Some fights and moments make the otherwise random plot redeemable. I still wanna know how it ends and Im sure there's a list out there that says which episodes to skip, so if I ever recommend this, I'll be courteous enough to give them that list. Nobody has the time to watch the whole thing (unless you're a kid but this show isn't really PG) so it can get frustrating but there's so many characters you're bound to like a few. I still like Naruto and Sasuke even though they can get ridiculous and over-the-top. Overall, this series is worth a try for everyone, it has taught me a lot of values and kept me entertained with its occasional witty badassery.
Pitch Perfect (2012)
Overrated and gross
How this got rated higher than Mean Girls is beyond me. At least Mean Girls managed to be raw without losing its class. Pitch Perfect was so desperate for cheap laughs its cringe worthy. I actually watched it with a group of friends, one actually fell asleep and the others weren't laughin, or at least not at the movie. First of all, (if i remember correctly) a bunch of misfits join a choir to go against a rival group. Okay, where did they even come up with this idea? A UNIVERSITY choir so desperate for members they pick ALL weird girls. But I digress, thats not the worst. Just the immaturity of the plot all throughout. Rivalries like that don't exist, normally people move on and don't dwell on the fact they were teased. Who are they to them anyway? Its just a bunch of pranks and childish competition from adults. And if Anna Kendricks character was supposed to be an average boring girl then they did a perfect job with her. The humor was just gross, the girl throwing up and then having the whistle land in there ughh I almost puked. And the Asian girl saying "I ate my twin in the womb" thats not funny! Or relatable. This is what I mean by "desperate". Then the scene with the puppets singing "F. U. F U very much" OH HO HO is funny becas she said eff you OH! I cannot quote anything except for fat amy talking about her nickname, whereas i can quote almost every scene in mean girls "you go Glen Coco!". There's not that many funny girls' movies out there so there's not much to compare it to. But this movie further emphasizes why there's not that many funny girls' movies out there...The only reason this got a one is because of the effort in the music and choreography. If you like fart jokes and pop songs then this is the perfect movie for you.
Divergent (2014)
Its a PG-13 SciFi Adventure Thriller
What did you expect? The Godfather? Granted I don't think its perfect but reading all these 1/10 negative reviews made me up my rating. You're a bunch of Erudites! Seriously, though, you can't watch Frozen and expect it to have Quentin Tarantino quality. Its like humor, not everyone has the same taste. Satire might not be your crucifix, that doesn't make a joke "low quality". The plot is pretty solid if you ask me, a post-apocalyptic society where the survivors developed a communistic system to avoid future chaos considering human nature drove the past civilization to destruction. Divergents have multiple aptitudes making them a threat to linear society. l admit I have above average intelligence, but even my 12 year old cousin understood the premise. The casting was splendid, Oscar nominee Shailene Woodley especially the scene where shes crying (no spoiler here) and Theo James' character develops well and opens up progressively and we were all genuinely terrified of Jai "Eric"'s ruthlessness. Also Kate Winslet played a fine bitchy dame. The dialogue was believable and appropriate for the story (they were teens and this isn't a witty comedy). Overall, the story was thought-provoking. To those missing the bigger picture, there's actually a connection between this universe and ours. Our society also categorizes people either by race, religion, politics, culture, education, sexuality, school cliques (in a small range), etc. There's always expectations in each group, a social code that must be followed. I actually enjoy the way Divergent depicts authority in such a menacing way, showing how ridiculous these bigots can be. Why are there laws against gay marriage or against innocent children who were forced into the US and can't get an education/driver's license/job when they're adults? Ignorance, that's why. I hope this movie inspired its targeted young audience to rebel and fight for what is right in their judgment.