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Reviews
Death Race 2000 (1975)
A Classic That Should Be Left Alone
I cannot say anything about this film you don't already know.
I always wondered why David Carridne did this low budget film at the height of his "Kung Fu" fame. Whn I am sure he could have done any number of big budget films.
Also the appearance of the "unkown" Sylverter Stalone, hamming it up in one of his best roles, in my opinion.
This is a classic of the B-Movie genre. This shows what you CAN do with a limited budget and a great idea. It also encompassed may issues/ideas of the mid-70's in a comic way that made you think also.
I find it ironic the the society portrayed in the film is not too far removed from the actual world we now live in (minus the race of course!) I do know there is a plan to remake this as Death Race 3000. I feel that they should leave a classic alone. I am very tired of Hollywood remaking every film/TV show/comic book of the last 40 years. Have we run out of original ideas?
Lathe of Heaven (2002)
Agree This Is Less Than Perfect Remake
I was surprised to see this film remade(considering how much of a cult status the original had.) I had high hopes condiering A&E was involved, but my hopes were in vain.
Despite having good actors, the rewritten script is horrid and misses a lot of the points of the original.
James Cann is wasted in the role of the Dr. Did they tell him to play it stupid? Save yourself a lot of grief, and rewatch the 1980 version again.
Although I think this film could be well done (as a remake) with a big budget, well acted, hollwood version. Using the original novel or the 1980 teleplay would make it worth seeing.
Hard Rock Zombies (1984)
It Is So Bad It"S Good!!!
Wow, why isn't this film is some sort of B-Movie museum?? It has all the great, campy B-Movie elements: Bad (but oddly listenable 80's music) music, dead rockers, Hitler??!!, Ava Braun as a Werewolf, a dwarf who eats himself, even a Nazi Zombie Biting a cow!! Well here's the short version of the film,Two dudes encounter a hitchhiker who seduces them to skinny dip with her in a nearby lake, where she proceeds to kill them while her creepy (boyfriend?) and a Nazi dwarf watch. A "Heavy Metal" (After two dumb songs with "Monkees" style running around to these songs) band comes to a small rural town to play a show that the townsfolk do not want and try to stop (shades of Footloose), but a big record producer will be there. The one teen gal(it's knida insinuated that she's like 14-15) who actually wants to see this band falls for the 30+ year old lead singer of this band, and he for her.
Soon after the bad is locked in a "jail" that looks suspiciously like a shed with bars. Cassie (the teen girl) brings them money for bail and good cheer. She is soon after captured by her square father and sent home. The lead singer then writes Cassie a song where he condones underage love!!! This dude knows she's like 14 and is hot after her anyway.
This is when the hitchhiker from the first scene comes and bails them out and brings them to her "Mom and Dad's" mansion. These band dudes seem oblivious to the werewolf screams, the bald Nazi and the deformed dwarf. They allow them to practice and then try to kill them by (as some old dude and lady watch) electrocution through their equipment. This of course is thwarted by the lead singer kicking only one plug out of a socket, what a guy!! Then the old dude and lady are seen getting it on in bed as the Nazi dwarf and the deformed dwarf watch on. Seems these two are their grandkids (ok this scene did give me a bit of the heeby geebies, but only for the implications not anything scary.) They let them stay after they are discover so they can see how to do it!! The band is soon killed in sorted ways, the drummer in a Psyco like shower scene, one by a bald Nazi, another by a werewolf in a wheelchair, etc.
The old dude soon revels himself to be Hitler in hiding and the Old woman Is Ava Bruan, his lover from WWII, and starts broadcasting to the world!! Soon after (for no real explained reason), there are a lot of Zombies in town, so the townsfolk try to devise a plan to destroy them by using pictures of big head (we all know zombies don't like heads....right.) Cassie then goes to the band's gravesides (in town) and urges them to resurrect to help stop the evil and to play one last gig.
Thes guys actually get out of the ground wearing a comb of Kiss makeup and Eqarly David Bowie makeup and move like they are doing the "Safety Dance" from the early 80's.
Soon they play a gig for the record exec, (who has no clue they are dead) as they play all the zombies come towards them and their music.
As this happens the townsfolk read that letting the zombies have sex with a virgin will make them go away. Luckily Cassie is a virgin, so they tie her to a tree in the middle of nowhere as the band heads towards a cave, still playing their unplugged in instruments!!! Soon Cassie is saved by the band's semi sleezy manager as the band leads the zombies deeper into the cave it is revealed that the cave is a giant gas chamber (Hitler's?. The zombies are then gassed with blue and yellow gasses and they and the band "dies" again.
In the last scene, Casie is at the band's 2nd graveside and is telling the dead and buried lead singer that she'll always be true and never forget him as his hand pops out (Via "Carrie") his gave and gives Casie a ring.
I love this crazy film!! I am not sure if it was supposed to be a comedy, or a horror movie, or a comedy musical, or a horror musical.
But whatever it is, you Should See It!
Five Bloody Graves (1969)
Al Adamson, What Were You Thinking???!!
I agree with the other review of Al Adamson movies (in general). I LOVED Dracula VS, Frankenstein, it is true classic of bad/yet good cinema.
We all know in many cases Al Filmed things that got released a lot later or (more often) even RECUT into other films of his, which I agree puts him on the same level with Ed Wood.
This was just BORING. The monotone voice over of "Death", bad old school documentaries (we all remember those) have better narration.
Indians, whose numbers seem to keep going up when the characters are mentioning how many are dying. "Scalpings" that don't even come close to the head. A flaming arrow that burns a house to the ground in no less than 60 secs of film time.
Even the appearance of Jim Davis (Who had the only 1/2 way interesting character, as a bad guy) couldn't save this film from it's "Illogical Boredom." It is never made clear why death is even interested in what's going on worth these guys or who he actually wants to win (One scene he says it's the hero, the next someone else.) The tag line for this film says, "Lust-Mad Men and Lawless Women in a Vicious and Sensuous Orgy of Slaughter!" I can say never saw these in this movie. Are they sure they were talking about THIS movie? I say for your money avoid this film and see Al's Dracula Vs. Frankenstein again. It has a lot of the same cast (Jim Davis and John Carradine), is is much BETTER and campier.
The Dungeon of Harrow (1962)
90 Mins. Of Your Life You Do Not Get Back...Really!
If it was possible to give negative stars I would for this stinkburger.
Don't get me wrong I LOOOOOOVVVEEEE a good crappy movie. I am a big fan of films like Octoman, Wizard Of Mars, Queen King and others. Real classics of B-Cinema.
But this film actually makes Jack Nicolson and Boris Karloff in The Terror look like an academy award winner!! The Dialouge is so needlessly long-winded, and mostly inappropriately used. (ie. "I will now Condensened (yes, condensend!!) to your wishes. The acting might have been a lot better if they had some more logical lines.
The story? What story, A count is exiled because his wife had leprosy? I'm still not sure on that count. A (Rich?) Fleet one and the Captian of one of his ships crash on the island? People acting unnaturally? OK, I like camp in b-films a lot, there lies a lot of it's charm, but this was just dumb..plain dumb. A salty sea Captian who sounds as well versed as a college professor? A fleet owner who is as clueless as they come (I felt this guy had no idea of how to play it, one scene he's Spanish acting, the next English/European)? The count, who's not sure if he's a reincarnation or really DeSade (Don't ask me how DeSade figures into this, after 4 beers my wife, friend and I still couldn't figure it out.
The scare factor? I could show this turkey to my small grandkids and only worry about them sleeping through it. I like a lot of early 60's horror movies, and some still have good shocks, but this thing...never had a shock, or even a hint of of a scare.
On the info on the back it says, "This Movie contains scenes that are so vivid and degrading that they will surpass your worst nightmare." The ONLY degradation is WATCHING THIS MOVIE. It's 90 mins.(The case says it's 74 mins.) of your life you do not get back.
I paid only a buck, yes one buck, for this and another film. I still feel like I am owed .50 cents for even sitting though this.
To sum up Dungeon Of Harrow had NO ONE Named Harrow in it, but, it did have a lovely cardboard dungeon.
Land of the Dead (2005)
Honestly Really Good, But Not A Classic.
Please before you booo me.. hear me out.
I love Romero films dearly and love the "Dead" (now quadrilogy.) I loved the look and feel of this film. There was an effort made to tie it in with the other films (especially the first) as seen in the opening segments.
The casting was good with semi-name actors, the story was well written, the effects good (not a lot of CGI), the make-up, all this was well above average. A very impressive "BIG" movie.
This is part of what makes it bittersweet for me. The look of big studio behind a Romero Zombie film is to me odd, and a little sad. Part of the charm of this series (Besides the good gore effects in all of them, and stories that are more than they first appear.) was that they were filmed on small budgets. It was the "renegade" aspect of the film-making that gave the first three films part of the "cult" status and why they are beloved and hailed as classics.
The film was too smooth, too polished, too well done for maybe it's own good.
Maybe I just feel it was the end of the independent horror film maker. I know Romero has made other big studio pics (mostly Stephen King Stories) but he always stayed true to this independent roots in his "regular" films. Films like Martin, Code Name Tixie, Jack's Wife, all these had that same quality and "renegade" film making style and "feel" that the "Dead" movies had.
I do agree that it is far superior to the (only in name) remake of Dawn Of The Dead. I did feel entertained when I left the theater, but, entertained in the way you see a good action film once and never again.
But I feel it was just a well made action/horror movie, not a George Romero classic.