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Fear the Walking Dead: Keeping Her Alive (2023)
Season 8, Episode 10
1/10
Well I see using AI to write episodes
16 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
It's the only way I can see this garbage has been written.

Kid jumps off boat and swims to shore with hands bound, Strand finds her, they walk round the corner and finds Madison, they immediately find a car and gun, they scan the radio and get exposition on three groups,....

And on and on.

CharGPT: "Fear the Walking Dead" reaches its gripping conclusion as survivors face escalating dangers, from relentless undead hordes to the intricate challenges posed by other human factions. Amid intense battles and heart-wrenching goodbyes, characters evolve, forming alliances and confronting the harsh realities of a post-apocalyptic existence. The series finale leaves viewers on the edge of their seats, offering a poignant glimpse into the resilience of the human spirit amidst the ruins of civilization.

There, we can all stop watching now.
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Triangle (2009)
8/10
Watching immediately after the first time
14 August 2021
Playing it again for a second time as it's now a completely different film.
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Cashback (2006)
7/10
Flashback
13 August 2021
Captures a feeling being a grad about that time, the crap jobs you take and being a stupid boy with girls.

Still would have got back with Zoe.
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2/10
Con
13 August 2021
Inflated reviews. 3min in I started watching at 32x. Got half way and still felt the 5min of my life was a waste.
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Possessor (2020)
8/10
As soon as I heard his voice
12 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I knew Sean Bean would die.

I was wrong, he was only crippled and brain damaged. Does that ruin his death run or does get an honourable mention?

Outside of this it was a good little sci-fi movie.
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7/10
Brazil?
24 February 2020
I'm 20min in and getting a big Brazil vibe.

That is all

All play and and no work makes Jack happy All play and and no work makes Jack happy All play and and no work makes Jack happy All play and and no work makes Jack happy
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Duke Nukem Forever (2011 Video Game)
2/10
The makers of this game should hang their heads in shame
14 June 2011
I have never been so angry while playing a game, the frustration from dying and then having to wait an inordinate amount of time to restart is just not forgivable.

Even if this wasn't the case the level design is a joke with big sections where you are just walking through corridors with no enemies. I was looking forward to some platform sections but these are not taxing and there is no scope for exploration as the levels are entirely linear.

Actually I tell a lie, I did find a hidden freeze ray, not very well hidden but I found it. But then I couldn't use it (it kills you underwater) but then it is a pointless weapon anyway and only good for rats. I weakened an enemy and then emptied the thing several times and the guy didn't freeze. Most weapons feel underpowered and uninteresting too.

Enemies have minimal AI so fighting is a chore, especially the turret sections and bosses would be forgettable if they didn't kill you so much. Not because there was some advanced tactic you had to find but because there is one spot to hide in and then you spend your time going to the ammo crate, shooting, hiding and repeating.

People might tell you this game is funny, it's not. They might also say, "oh it's a Duke game, you shouldn't expect too much", I'm sorry but this is a shameless cash in, you should expect more than this sloppy excuse for a game.

3/10 and that's only because it didn't have crap in it. Oh wait, 2/10.
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Crysis 2 (2011 Video Game)
7/10
Not a bad game by any stretch, very pretty and quiet playable but nothing new
4 April 2011
The story is a mess and I never really felt engaged with it during the game, most of the mission are: get to this checkpoint, flick this switch, etc so nothing new.

Each map section offers a number of possible ways to complete it, I mostly assassinated, silenced headshot and sniped until I was discovered (usually due to an assassination failing for no reason) and then letting rip. The other options usually left you over exposed or facing too many enemies at once.

I think if I was to replay I might try to sneak past everyone but I bought this as a shooter not a stealth game. The thing that attracted me to the game was the ability rig a level with explosives, distract a soldier, set off the explosives, kick over cars rip off a M/C gun from a jeep and let rip into the remaining enemies but this type of dynamic play wasn't really possible (or at least not worth the risk and time).

Part of the reason was the level design wasn't set up for this and the enemy AI spotted you for no reason. The balance of assassination vs the 'Tactical Options' was also pretty weak and unrewarding.

The game does look good but I did find enemies walking in walls and other glitches, the enemy AI was also nothing special and as an example they would always go and stand over a dead body so a snipers dream.

I've only briefly played the multiplayer but it feels like a poor copy of MW2 with invisibility.

It was not a bad game by any stretch, very pretty and quiet playable but no where no as interesting as Dead Space 2. It feels half way between MW2 in looks and play style and Reach in terms of being a super soldier and level design but I think both these games do these things better.
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Eagle Eye (2008)
7/10
Plot holes and clichés
20 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Why can't films be made without plot holes and why do they have to be so clichéd? I watched this yesterday and I was entertained (I gave it 7/10), but it irritated me that there were so many plot holes. They ruin a film especially one that bills itself as being full of mystery and intrigue. If I'm trying to figure out what the plot is, then throwing something in just because it would be cool is confusing (explosives and his room (surely there were better ways to get his coercion) / the guy that gets fried (how did those cable detach)). In this film it then ends up with very convoluted ways for them to escape (crane from FBI / cars and wrecking yard) which is supposed to make you think, wow, it was all part of the plan, but the actions scenes are too chaotic and the outcomes would be too random to have had a plan in place (phone in plane / injections to get into the pentagon / many people which just grab them and give them stuff).

The clichés are just lazy (HAL) and have been done so much better elsewhere. I can accept that an AI can become 'a bit misguided', I've read enough Clarke and seen 2001, but the intelligence it exhibits to come up with the most stupid scheme is frustrating as there must have been easier ways to kill 12 old men especially when you can control UAVs.

If you want to see a film with a crazy AI watch 2001, if you want more intelligent scheming AI then Ghost in the Shell, if you want an action big brother movie then Enemy of the State is good and if you want a really good action movie then watch Die Hard.
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Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe (1990 Video Game)
10/10
Stolen Review from Clownfoot
17 July 2007
Speedball… a violent quasi-legal future sport with one rule, slam a solid steel ball into your opponents goal. Or, for a laugh, into your opponents face! That's right there are no other rules. Originally conceptualised as a game of 12 hulking brutes, beating each other to a pulp whilst attempting to score within the confines of a small metallic playing arena, corruption and violence eventually force the game underground. Unregulated and ungoverned Speedball degenerates into a fiasco. However, by the dawn of the 22nd century, public interest in the sport is reorganised and rejuvenated - a new league structure is created. There are new teams, new stadia and new ways to score. The arena is bigger, the players are tougher and the action is faster than ever before. From out of the darkness emerges Speedball 2 and, along with it, a new challenge. A new Speedball team have arrived on the scene, the toughly named Brutal Deluxe. Problem is their name belies the fact they are probably the worst team ever to appear in Speedball history. Worse still, you've been given the honour of attempting to turn them into champions. With only 14 weeks to reach the top division, can you create a team of bloodthirsty super-humans with deft Speedball ability to steamroll over the likes of Fatal Justice and Steel Fury?

Speedball 2 maintains the basic concepts of its predecessor - score lots of goals whilst tackling and pummelling your opponents into the ground - but improves immensely on said flaws. The Bitmap Brothers added two masterstrokes of pure genius to the erstwhile simplicity of Speedball. The first was the addition of a management feature in order to enhance the single player game. Now, not only would you partake in the in-game bashing, you could also transform your team into winners with a canny bit of training before every match. Furthermore, you could now purchase a couple of star players to beef up the bunch of weaklings at your command. Of course, these features require the use of cold, hard cash.

The second masterstroke consists of the actual matches. Gone is the tiny playing arena with its functional two-way vertical scrolling. Instead the Bitmap's have replaced it with an eight-way multi-directional scrolling pitch that seems about 8 times the size of the original. To say the pitch is vast is somewhat of an understatement. With the incorporation of nine brutes playing against nine to make use of the bigger playing area, the player graphics have also been updated and are speedier and more easy to control, resulting in some fast and furious action. Of course, a bigger pitch provides much more scope for added variety in gameplay and, again, the Brothers don't disappoint.

The variety of features ensures that how you go about winning games is completely up to you. For instance, there is more than one way to score. Not content with the normal route to goal (and the ten points awarded for such a feat) you can also hit either of the two bounce-domes for a couple of points, cripple an opponents player for another ten points or hit one of five stars on the sidewall of the arena for a couple of points each (light up all five stars and you're awarded 10 points). Alternatively, you can also deduct two points from your oppositions score if you hit a star they have managed to light up. Already you can see the scope for more strategic play coming to the fore - you don't even have to score a "proper" goal to win.

And yet there's still more! The point multiplier (an invention of pure genius) can provide a slight advantage by doubling the team's points for each score obtained thereafter, once the ball is sent up the multiplier's chute. Such is the advantage half the game can be spent battling against opposition around the multiplier with little intention of scoring until you've obtained the multiplier's bonus. Other pitch features include an electrobounce (electrifying the ball so that it tackles the next player) a warp gate and a vast array of tokens to collect that have a variety of in-game effects (power-ups), all of which keeps things interesting when thinking about strategies to apply during a match.

All this added variety and tactical splendour could have collapsed under the heavy weight of expectation, yet Speedball 2 entails perfection in all other departments as well. Despite the additional complexities, which adds weight to the games longevity, Speedball 2 remains ever so simple a game to play. Essentially, the Bitmap Brothers recognised what worked in the original game and kept with said features. Therefore the match time remains at two halves of only ninety seconds each. It ensures the game is played at a furious, breathless and often reckless pace. Furthermore, the arena furniture stays the same throughout. Whereas the Bitmap's could have been tempted to move the point multipliers, bounce-domes, etc. around the pitch environment in every subsequent game, they realised that with only 90 seconds on the clock the player just wants to get into the game, not spend half the match searching for the integral tactical components of the pitch. Again, damn right simplicity is the way forward, with every arena for every game being identical, allowing the player to get on with the simple leg breaking tasks at hand.

To this day I've only won the top league the once and yet I'm still playing, attempting to gain that achievement for a second time. Likewise, I've very rarely managed to beat my arch nemeses of the game, the deplorably fantastic Super Nashwan (or utter bastards), but when you do, the sense of achievement is, well, rather immense. Speedball 2 is quite simply a fantastic challenge. No game grabs you with such fiendish addictiveness (due to the exquisite learning curve and the marvellous simplicity) and over fifteen years later, it still hasn't let go.
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6/10
*SERIOUS SPOILERS* But quite funny
22 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
*SERIOUS SPOILERS* The Boondock Saints - a pair of Irish New York twins go on a religious inspired vigilante killing spree before meeting up with there long lost psychopath father (Billy Connelly) and convincing the gay FBI agent (William Dafoe) who has been chasing them throughout the film with theatrical explanations of their murders (he get so emotional figuring out one of their crimes he fires his gun into the air) and convincing him to dress up in drag and rescue them from the mob bosses clutches.

My mate recommended this and he has the taste of Steven Segal's Agent when he suggested the film Steve Irwin - Rays of Death, so I got exactly what I expected. Still good for a chuckle.
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Pearl Harbor (2001)
1/10
Worst movie of all time.
30 September 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This is the worst movie of all time, now I've seen the movies with the lowest ranks but they're just badly done, this on the other hand I reserve a special venom for. We'll start with a general look at the film, it's clichéd to hell, how could anyone get joy from watching a series of obvious scenes where you know exactly where the next one will lead, Anyone with any IQ should get bored with this stuff pretty quickly. The only saving grace are the explosions, though this doesn't stretch you much.

OK so we accept its not a highbrow film, I'll sit through an Arnie film no problem, so how about the cast. Alec Baldwin (if anyone's seen Team America – F.A.G), old Cuba I've not seen in a film where he's not overacted his token black actor heart out. And of course there's good old Ben, old Affers (F.A.G) can not act, sorry CAN NOT ACT, would somebody put him out of his and our G.Damn misery. So the big actors are all the American A1 guys who will get bums on seats but don't' have a morsel of class or integrity, which is a good thing as….

We now move onto the plot. Apparently Goebbels died in 1945, I think this is a lie, I think he was whisked out of the country by the American armed forces and given a job creating Hollywood movies (To date he must have had a hand in Devil's Own (The IRA are freedom fighters), U-571 (Americans find the Enigma Machine), Saving Private Ryan (2 Brits in the whole film), Master and Commander (Supposed to be Brits chasing Yanks), etc, etc, etc). My reason for this theory is Goebbels as the master of propaganda is the only one who could orchestrate what appears to be a conscious and concerted plan to re-write the history of the world to make America responsible for every great event in history (Watch out next month as Abe Lincoln invents the wheel and defeats Napoleon in a fist fight). So what has happened with the plot to suspect this old Nazi, well the raid on Japan at the end to start with. no, No, NO. This did not happen for several years and when it did it caused F all damage, sorry but after Peal Harbour the armed forces were shattered and had nowhere near the capability to do this, but the Yanks had to go 'kick ass'. But this still wasn't the worst part, not the bit that actually hurts.

The Presidents speech, just before they fly off to "Bomb ALL of Japan", The Pres says something about how America's allies will now see what they are made of. Sorry but up until this point America had been happily sitting on the fence milking everyone and making a packet out of our need for arms and food as the Allies had been throwing millions of troops and slowly starving for nearly three years before they were FORCED by the Japs to join. Ugh.

It is at the end of the day just a movie and if I truly thought that I would just turn it off or leave. But the point is a movie is no longer just entertainment, a movie like this alters our perception of events and for a large number of people forms our education, but if we continue not to object to these lies then they will become our truths.

History is written by the victor
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