kurt-beullens Reviews

Project: Snowblind (2005 Video Game)

Good, but too short

[8/10 · 22 August 2006]

Project: Snowblind is a great First Person shooter which all fans of the genre will love. There is loads of action, but there are also moments when it's best to use a "stealthier" way of going through the levels. People who played the classic FPS Deus Ex, will immediately recognizes elements from that game which come back in this one. That's no surprise because the 2 games were made by the same people. The game is a lot of fun, but sadly enough it is over too soon and the last levels are not the greatest. I bought it for only 10 Euro, so you don't see me complaining. I completed the game yesterday, but I think I'll be start again pretty soon.

Thundering Ninja (1987)

So terribly bad it's good...very good!

[5/10 · 10 April 2006]

This must be one of the worst movies i've seen, and I've seen quit a lot of movies and also quit a lot of really bad movies. Actually, you can call me a fan of bad movies, so you shouldn't be surprised to read that this is like some kind of masterpiece to me! I'm not going to talk about the story, because it's a real mess and doesn't make any sense at all. The actors are all terrible, but I certainly need to mention Stuart Smith as Sydney who is one of the worst in the job. Watching him is painfully funny. There are 3 scenes with him (only with him, you see him hardly interact with other actors, the reason for that is explained in "Trivia") which are trill "great": * Him running in the streets on "Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" by Genesis, * the scene with the little bird and his sword (you have to see this to believe it, it's hilarious) * and his phone-conversation towards the end of the movie.

The dubbing and the sound-effects are lousy, the camera-work is shitty, well I can go on and on, but fans of "worst of the worst"-movies have by now understood that this is a must-have for their collection.

I should give it 0/10 for obvious reasons, but also a 10/10 for entertainment value, so my final figure is a 5/10. A must see!!

Paniekzaaiers (1986)

Best movie of this Belgian duo

[7/10 · 2 December 2005]

Back in the 70's and 80's Gaston and Leo were the most popular Belgian humorist duo. For several years in a row they did the End of the Year-show on BRT and you could also see them in the TV-show "De Kolderbrigade". But people liked them most for their live-shows. It's not that they were extremely funny, but the 2 men did what they did in such an amusing way, that it was always a joy to watch them. I still enjoy watching one of their sketches when it's on TV. In the '80's they made 3 movies. First there was "Zware Jongens", then there was this one and finally they made "Gaston en Leo in Hong Kong". I always liked "Paniekzaaiers" the most. It's a small and sympathetic movie with nice dialog. Sadly their are some things which drag the movie down. First there are some very lame scenes which are ridiculous and childish and really not funny. Second their is the final part of the movie which takes place in the basement: not very good. And then their is the music! Extremely cheap-sounding, very, very '80's and also add to giving this movie it's childish feel. But it's always fun to watch Gaston and Leo, so altogether "Paniekzaaiers" can be called a good movie which is a must for the fans of these 2 Belgian comedians.

Counterforce (1988)

Not worth the cast

[3/10 · 16 November 2005]

I've been looking for this movie for quit some time. A couple of weeks ago I found it on e-bay on a VHS-tape, together with a movie called "Mines of Kilimanjaro". Now what exactly made me want to see Counterforce? The cast! For such a cheap, standard action movie it's extremely impressive. We find Louis Jourdan, the once promising Andrew Stevens, Isaac Hayes, Mexican superstar Jorge Rivero, Oscar-winner George Kennedy, Indian star Kabir "Sandokan" Bedi, Robert Foster and for fans of Italian B-horror there is Hugo Stiglitz (with Iron Maiden T-shirt!) who starred in Lenzi's "Incubo sulla città contaminata". Yesterday I watched it and although my expectations were really not that high, it was a disappointment. At best, this movie can be described as a cheap mixture of Delta force and The A-team, but that is not doing these 2 justice. There is not very much action, people just seem to go from here to there. The final tries to bring some suspense, but it's downright boring. Well actually, the entire movie is boring. The actors really can't save this movie, but give it a flair that it doesn't deserve. The editing is sometimes quit dynamic and the music by Joel Goldsmith (yes, Jerry's son) is not bad. 03/10

Red Dragon (2002 Video)

Very lame

[3/10 · 5 October 2005]

I saw the sweet Stephanie Swift in the hot Miscreants, but this one, Red Dragon, is a lot lammer. The action scenes are way too short and actually not very hot. There is a nice lesbian scene with Stephanie, but for the rest there is not much to recommend this to anyone looking for some stroking-material. The directing and the lighting are quit good, just like the music, the girls are pretty and also the sets are well done, but that is no guarantee for a good porn-movie. No, it's all about the action! It has to be hot and exciting, and that is just the thing that this movie is missing: some heat. Perhaps nice if you want to introduce your girlfriend into the world of adult-movies, but guys watching this on their own will immediately look for the fast forward button and eventually and not for too long for the eject button...