nlmike Reviews

M3GAN (2022)

Not a horror and falls into the cliche trap

[10/10 · 5 May 2024]

I am not sure about this one, it feels to me that they had an idea, the doll, ai dangers etc. But had no idea how to film it well.

First off, i liked the demonstration scene.

But it is incredibly predictive. A noisy neighbour, annoying kid, etc. And of a certain robot at the start. Basically you can predict the entire movie after the first 15 minutes. The final is just textbook 80's horror, without the horror.

It is also Not horror. Not in the sleightest. You don't see anything. Also most characters are shallow, i can't remember any names or specifics.

Obviously inspired by Chucky, but that was so much more fun. Bit of a missed opertunity here.

Star Trek: Discovery: Coming Home (2022) Season 4, Episode 13

The worst startrek series ever

[1/10 · 20 March 2024]

If would take me days to list all the failures of this series, so just some highlights:

• It felt like one big therapy session of issues i really didn't want to hear nor cared for

• The actual story would have fitted in 2 episodes, the rest was filler with pointless endless emotional whining

• The plot was a combination of contact, tng - generations and the bold and the beautiful...

• The endless speeches and discussions, while as they said themselves 'every minute counts' was infuriating. In fact. There was a huge impact that could have Easily be avoided without the delays. Meaning they probably killed millions because they kept talking about their feelings and speeches....

Unfortunately another season comes, i ll skip it. I just cannot take this anymore. 1 / 10.

Star Trek: Discovery: Rosetta (2022) Season 4, Episode 11

most infuriating episode so far

[3/10 · 20 March 2024]

I haven't enjoyed this season so far, endless talks about connecting being hammered in.

But when they where about to go the mission 'where every minute counts' and they spend ages on: telling they need to hurry, debating if they should go, saying goodbye, speeches, discussions about there emotions.... i was literally shouting at my screen telling them to shut up and go.

Whomever wrote this should go find something else to do. It was just so bad.

This whole season is like a therapy session i didn't want to be a part of. It has nothing to do with sf. It's just endless talking and oh apparently there might be aliens. Just get on with it! Worst part is that there are 2 episodes left, so i bet they'll rush some solution in 2 minutes.

Expend4bles (2023)

When a frsnchise goes on for too long and no one has any idea what to do next

[3/10 · 1 December 2023]

This was just Very bad. New people just randomly show up in teams, no idea who they are. Generic nuke threat. Boarding ship with no camo whatsoever, no masks etc. Pee jokes, old guy jokes, more old guy jokes, oh and really bad green screen too! Stuck out like a sore thumb.

When you see how i.e, Finland special ops board ships, carrying 50 kg, climbing up rope ladders, in full gear, THAT is how things are done and 10x more exciting than this movie.

Not much else to say about it, i probably just forget it in a few weeks.

Also, photomodels and rappers as soldiers, oh please....

Just stop this. 3 /10 and that's generous.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)

Exposition snorefest

[1/10 · 25 July 2023]

This was an incredibly boring movie. The characters were bored, generic, and 'oh i need to take care of my family, so i will steal a car, but i am not a thief so refuse after i am sitting in it' and ' i am the very young science geek who instantly recognises fake from real items while glancing at them for 2 seconds.

Not to mention copying indiana jones / tombraider, but then without ANY excitement.

Lackluster action and endless exposition made up from generic sentences you've heard in every b movie, just randomly mixed together.

Heard people actually walked out of theaters and i am not surprised.

This franchise is at an end. Shut down.

Titans: Caul's Folly (2023) Season 4, Episode 7

Time for the generic inescapable town episodes

[3/10 · 15 July 2023]

Seems to me they had a nice idea at the start of the season, but didn't have enough of a story to fill a season. So now we are Literally stuck in some town we have seen in way too many other series and movies.

What's worse is that they spend even multiple episodes in it. And from the start you just know they will escape, it is just waiting and waiting.

On a sidenote, they sneak in succes songs from guardians of the galaxy and blacklist. As if tnat makes it somehow better.

Another annoyance from previous episodes is tne 'investigation logic' when they read a language, guess it might be numbers and then be correct and the computer magically translates it in a second....

They do this really fast, otherwise everyone notices how impossible and badly written it is.

I am very disappointed.

PS deaf people do not talk fluently. Sigh.

MasterChef Australia: Episode #15.44 (2023) Season 15, Episode 44

1 contestant gets annoyingly more attention and leeway

[4/10 · 6 July 2023]

Without using names, it gets increasingly annoying how 1 contestant in particular gets more camera time, more communication training, more attention and plays nervous etc.

I can already guess who is going to win this, from half the competition ago. And as far as i can tell few other contestants are clearly more grown up with what they put on the table, with less complaining or cheffy talk.

For me it was a hard watch already due to Jock (rip), but it feels this season is stacked in someone's favor, which is a first for me.

So i hope this is also the last time they do this, otherwise i fear for the future of this show.

Annihilation (I) (2018)

No gloves, no flashlights

[4/10 · 6 May 2023]

It is just disappointing that movies like this don't cover the basics. Touching clearly contaminated organisms with bare hands as a biologist is completely ludricous. Or step into water with a mutated body, and then put your hand in it.

And of course, running after an unknown beast, in the dark and having no flashlights..... of course...

When did moviemakers become so lazy and inept. The same was with movies like alien promethius. Exploring an alien planet without any protective gear....

I lost interest halfway due to sheer irritation. The bad reception is quite earned. It was lazy and boring and totally unrealistic.

Android Night Punch (2014)

A misunderstood work of art reflecting the emptiness of modern society.

[10/10 · 2 April 2023]

This misunderstood work of art, reflecting the emptiness of modern society, will tear your heart out.

It is easy to mistake this movie for the low budget rushed script, made by completely unexperienced friends, but after careful examination, and 5 repeat viewings, the many underlying layers of this genius piece of art slowly surface.

Is it the spontaneous acting or the face of innocence? Only time will tell as this timeless classic stole my heart, literally. And i mean literally, has anyone seen it?

Admittedly it is quite hard to write a 600 letter review without giving anything away, but here we are at the end.

Go watch it, it's fun.

The Night Agent (2023– )

Very predictable generic plot

[4/10 · 28 March 2023]

This ticks all the wrong boxes. It is a very generic plot with all the usual red herrings you can see coming from a mile away. The acting is flat. The main character acts like it's his first weekend on the job. The assassin couple is nothing new. They actually reminded me a bit of the ones in Archer, but without the humor.

And because the amount of actors is actually very low, you can completely predict who had an opportunity to put some spyware on a certain phone....

It is getting tiresome how these series are produced, they try hooking you with a nice opening scene, that's where the budget goes. And then it just drags on and on and on.

Throughout the series there is never any real tension.

Unfortunately a lot of fake optimism in reviews to bump up the numbers. Anyone who ever saw any spy thriller knows this is mediocre at best. 4 /10.

Uncharted (2022)

i gave up halfway

[4/10 · 25 October 2022]

This was just a borefest and a cheap Indy ripoff. The Mark Wall joke was on repeat as well. The 'stealing stuff from a backpack' was a literally impossible and happened twice. Finding clues, especially (no spoiler) in a church they just made it so quick so you'd miss how absolutely ludricous it was.

I just stopped watching. And since the netflix trailer basically shows the ending..... no need to continue watching.

It's a shame really, with the same script and some MUCH better interpretation and writing, especially making things matter more, or consequential, it could have been something. 4 / 10.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

2 screaming goats and a terrible illness

[4/10 · 18 September 2022]

To be very frank, i had to push myself to get through this. Lost too many people due to that illness and it scares the crap out of me.

So i really couldn't enjoy this this. Perhaps it was the point, with all the dark, colourless monsters and world. And perhaps it was one big metaphor.

But the people i lost, who i was constantly reminded off didn't have a happy ending, or ended up in a better place. They are just gone and we are left with a black hole.

So i am not sure what to make of this. I will not be watching this one again. Ever.

For me it should have been more clear what this was about before i went in.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

Wasted opportunity and many plotholes

[2/10 · 25 August 2022]

Expensive sets and actors. Riddled with technical errors and a generic plot.

Just one example: people escape in a ship behind another ship that gets destroyed, but is unseen till it takes off. Then someone gets killed and the chase is on somehow with a destroyer, but of course the hyperdrive is broken, because plot!

Then they keep on missing and not send a single fighter to shoot the unarmed ship. And do the same when a lander breaks off!

Meanwhile the dead person, isn't dead, because plot armor, and appears on a completely different planet during the chase! I mean, howwww? Also no wounds.

And these things just go on and on. It is rediculous writing.

If you're a fan, and want to keep up to date, go ahead, but i predict you'll be annoyed.

Doctor Who: Legend of the Sea Devils (2022) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

Disgraceful

[1/10 · 27 July 2022]

They truly ruined the franchise.. and for what? Badly executed wokeness? Ego? Not even who knows.

I followed fhe series since i was a child and it broke my heart when this incarnarnation started. It's just all bad. Which is an achievement in itself

Please replace everyone including the ones at the bbc signing off on this.

The Pentaverate (2022)

It's just not funny

[2/10 · 25 July 2022]

I don't know what to say, except it just isn't funny at all. No idea what the plan was but it seems like a cheap school play written by inexperienced teachers.

Sigh, too bad.

The Umbrella Academy: Oblivion (2022) Season 3, Episode 10

If you don't have clear ideas, wait a year

[3/10 · 10 July 2022]

This seems the mistake that happens over and over and over again! Lost, GoT, this, and so many others.

Pushed by guys in suits that pressure writers for a deadline, ratings be damned.

Just infuriating. Next time you don't have a clear script, shelf it for 6 months until you clear hour head. Then try again.

Disrespectful to the fans. That's not why i pay a very high monthly fee.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Someone has been watching Fringe....

[7/10 · 25 June 2022]

I am not quite sure if this was an ode to Fringe, or that they copied the core storyline. From collapsing universes to falling through the ice.

I hope it was an ode.

Killing Eve: Hello, Losers (2022) Season 4, Episode 8

An insult to all the fans

[1/10 · 12 June 2022]

This season was already very messy. Paused weeks to view the last few episodes. Imagine my surprise when 'the end' appeared on the screen..... i was genuinely pissed off! And now i am just disappointed.

This was an utter disgrace. It ruined the entire series for me. How can i rewatch it when i know hoe it ends.....

If you are one of the people that hasn't seen it, DO NOT watch it.

0 / 10.

Moon Knight: Gods and Monsters (2022) Season 1, Episode 6

Confusing, rushed, meh

[4/10 · 9 June 2022]

We used to have series, great series, like Fringe with 22 episodes to a season. Storytelling took it's time, nice backgrounds etc.

Then we got gutted to 12 episodes, which made storytelling more complex. Sometimes worked, Sometimes not.

Now we are gutted AGAIN with 6 episode "seasons". And clearly it does NOT work at all.

This started out good, but especially the second half of 'the season' was a mess.... ending in a lackluster finale.

Shame. 4 / 10.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

Confused as announced by themselves

[3/10 · 8 June 2022]

This was very confused, just like they said on the train, which is quite ironic, but not in a good way.

It's just scenes, going through the motions. And some animal cruelty. And a lot of depressed looking people.

Effects are of course good. But thie goes to show good effects don't make a good movie.

With 2.5 hours this just dragged on forever.

Also: half a dozen + one is seven. Not five.

Fringe: Making Angels (2012) Season 4, Episode 11

Jasika shines

[9/10 · 6 June 2022]

Astro based her alternate on a family member. And from someone who knows people with autism, she has done a wonderful and respectful job. A stellar performance.

Usually John steals the show, but this time it was Astrix.

Zumbo's Just Desserts: Make Some Magic! (2020) Season 2, Episode 1

Not a sweet show

[5/10 · 22 May 2022]

Netflix dreamed up multiple cook shows, all based on sugar, all with the same format, all with inexperienced presenters that continuously use the same lines throughout EVERY show.

And unfortunately they include contestants like a Jeff who according to his own words, already spent the price money because he convinced himself he is the best in the world. Which just gives of bad vibes throughout the competition.

On the plus side, the presenter is the least annoying from all the netflix cook presenters.

The Batman (2022)

Unexplainable high rating

[4/10 · 20 April 2022]

I don't know what's going on, but it reminds me of the movie regarding corruption. Talk to anyone and almost nobody gives this a high score. Let alone an 8+

This movie was a mess to be honest. It was way too long. It had a very predictable detective story. And once that was done the guy surrenders basically. And than suddenly we get a completely unrelated disaster final, etc etc.

This movie also reminded a LOT of Se7en. A lot.

Lastly, i went through all the trivia and all the backstory research etc etc and none of it comes across. Supposedly batman was based on kurt cobain, well i didn't see it. Did anyone?

This was very disappointing.

Kate (I) (2021)

Predictable, boring, and people being sick

[2/10 · 29 March 2022]

Someone stole the scripts from Nikita, terminator, wick and hitman, put them in a shredder. Took all the fun out of it and dumped it on netflix.

So you get some decent action, some very boring predictable action and Kate throwing up all the time. Oh and the generic annoying teenager!

Do yourself a favor and watch the La femme Nikita series. Even 1 episode is 10x better than this.

Stopped before the end, i just couldn't even finish it.

Is It Cake?: Fast Food Fakeout (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

Shockingly bad and winning by cheating

[1/10 · 19 March 2022]

What is there to say, literally everyone on this show is being annoying, but the host takes the cake....

And the 1st winner CLEARLY cheated. If it is that easy to get 10.000 than just send some to me, and to quote the cheater "i am so broke"....

Sorry but this is yet another failed netflix cooking program.