johnbuckville-march04 Reviews

The Cold Equations (1996 TV Movie)

Dragged out, slow, poor take on a great story. SPOILER

[18 May 2006]

This should have been a short 1/2 hour show. They tried to stretch a great sci-fi short story to movie length - and they failed. WARNING: SPOILERS Basically; highly efficient space ships are used to deliver emergency medical supplies to stop a deadly plague. To save costs, fuel is calculated precisely. All things are considered; weight of craft, weight of cargo, distance of trip, landing fuel needs etc.etc. A girl stow away is found on the ship. The only solution is to jettison her into space (there are no emergency space-suits, and no other spacecraft that may save her) Unfortunately, for the show to work you have to like the actress - but The girl (Poppy Montgomery) is completely unlikeable, and you will cheer when she is finally blasted into cold space and finally shut-up.

The Wicker Man (1973)

Profoundly Overrated

[3/10 · 5 March 2006]

A typical late 60's/early 70's "B-Rated" late night show. I can't imagine what the fuss is about - the show is dragged out, plot is contrived and just not believable. One you've seen this show, you'll realize you've wasted your time. The story drifts and meanders, and suddenly becomes an odd musical. The situations presented are not in any way believable. Characters are thin and artificial. The entire premise of the show is the conclusion - a big 'gothcha' but it hardly merits a 1/2 hour show, let alone a 2 hour film. Overly deliberate acting and direction create a juvenile "I know something you don't know" atmosphere in nearly every scene. This show insults the intelligence with repeated use of nearly identical situations - it's sort of a perverse straight man - funny man act where the funny man is actually a deranged town. Avoid this film, it should have been left to be forgotten drivel that it is, all this hype only make more people waste their time on it.

Ginger Snaps (2000)

21st Century girls, clichéd noble natives, caricatured frontiersmen

[3/10 · 19 June 2005]

Put 2 well dressed, well manicured girls in the deep Canadian wilderness. Put an outpost of traders under siege by were wolfs, add noble natives with clichéd mystical properties and you have... a Canadian hazardous waste site. I must credit Canadian writers, either they're very good or horrid. Since the the Hatchet based film "A cry in the wild" took a fall with ludicrous sequels have Canadian films started out so great only to end in drivel. While some thought may have been put into period costuming, absolutely none was put into period behaviors and speech. These girls are as 21st century as they come. The formidable Bridgette of Ginger Snaps 2 is abandoned to the whims of this exceptionally poorly conceived script. "This place is f**ked" is an example of the creative intelligence of writing. As fascinated as these girls are to watch, they can't carry this dud. The clichéd noble Indian is no less insulting than had they made his character do a war dance and ask for wampum. Absurdly ennobled and empowered, the native people become cartoons. At the same time an absurdly strict preacher, who seems to be out of pilgrim era Salem Mass, is intended to be ominous, he comes across more like a Phil Hartman Saturday Night live skit. If you enjoyed Ginger Snaps 1 and II, please Don't watch this - there's nothing but disappointment.