toofancorp Reviews

Black Bird (2022)

Absolute Masterpiece

[10/10 · 3 September 2023]

Anyone who reviews this less than an 8/10 has 0 taste in cinema and would rather watch a Fast and the Furious movie. Masterfully directed and acted. Performances across the board are top tier. Taron is one of the most underrated actors of modern film, I know that he won an award for Rocket Man but I feel like he is rarely talked about in the media as one of the greats and I think he should be. Paul WH puts on a master class with his evil role. Tense and gripping, emotionally gut wrenching, this is such a great piece of work. Limited series really are the way to go. I can't tell you the last time I put my phone down and actually paid attention to a show.

Justified: City Primeval (2023)

A New Direction

[9/10 · 1 September 2023]

Reading these reviews kind of makes me sick. Everyone bashing on his daughter, which is his real life daughter shows you what a cesspool the human race is. She is good, but not great...but she is learning and seriously eff off you 300 pound sad sacks. Jesus Christ get a fu@#ing life. The show is good but admittedly not as great as the original... I would realistically give it a 7.5/10 but I bumped it up to offset the cave dwellers. The season finale did push it back into glory days territory and I am definitely excited to see the next season. It's a procedural crime drama with T. O. at the helm, if you like that and you are not a racist or a troll gear up for the next season. LFG.

Fast X (2023)

A mess of a film

[4/10 · 27 August 2023]

Major hits In the directing and editing department. Far too hyperkinetic and not in a good way. The camera NEVER lingers on anything, soooo many cuts all the time and it's awful. Pedal smash, wheels spinning, bomb rolling, Dons face, someone else's face, drone shot,...in like 5 seconds...and it goes on like this indefinitely for all the action sequences and even the talking scenes...the editing is fast and furious and it makes the movie terrible. It's borderline unwatchable which is sad because the action scenes are actually not completely ill conceived.

The story is just as stupid as any Fast movie, but I don't think that's a shocker. The characters play their parts just fine for what it is.

Warrior (2019–2023)

Back with a vengeance!

[9/10 · 23 July 2023]

Thank you HBO for picking this up after it was dropped end of season two. All the same elements from prior seasons are here with even more awesome action sequences and choreography. The story is good but I would say more familiar than revolutionary. A very deadwood ish vibe mixed with Chinese culture and over the top violent action sequences.

The cast is grade A all around. There are heavy LGBTQ themes throughout and I felt they were particularly well done. I'm straight and tolerant so I don't mind...but if you are anti that...well it might get your panties all bunched up.

I already can't wait until season 4 and 3 isn't even over yet. Bring it on.

Extraction II (2023)

Extra Action II: The Actioning

[9/10 · 20 June 2023]

This movie is not about the story. If you came here looking for an existential drama, or deep metaphorical writing, just to be disappointed shame on you. It's all about the action, and this delivers in spades. The sequences are very well done and they don't entirely rely on cut shots, they show more of the whole battle. A few cheesy scenes, a few ehh dialogue choices sure. A huge shoutout to the cast and crew who had to endure this level of physical torture just to entertain us. It's basically an American version of The Raid series and it's awesome. If you know, you know. My anger towards Netflix additional fees has subsided by 30%.

Kaleidoscope (2023)

Mediocre at best

[5/10 · 10 March 2023]

A half decent heist show ruined by a dumb gimmick and an even dumber last few episodes. The acting and directing are mostly there save for a few of the actors. The climax of the heist and after is just soooo underwhelming. It plays out more like a real life idiots getting played and caught or killed story than a feel good they get away ending...but like in a really stupid way. I'm actually dissapointed I watched this because of the lame writing and dumb ending. It isn't terrible my any means and if you want to watch something in the background and tune things out it is serviceable. I watched it in order of timeline not the dumb watch any episode in any order way which I imagine would be worse.

1883 (2021–2022)

Solid Western Drama

[7/10 · 21 February 2023]

It's essentially what you would get if you take a romance novel, placed it in an Oregon trail journey type of setting, and mix in every western trope in existence. If that's your type of thing (Looking at the female and middle aged+ population here), you will thoroughly enjoy this.

It is epic in scale and direction, well acted, and well scripted. Very cinematic in nature.

Elsa is the main focus here, a coming of age journey for a beautiful 17/18 year old girl in a dangerous place during a dangerous time. This is likely what will make or break the show for you. It is very easy to sympathize and root for her personal development and enjoy the woman empowerment, but it is also easy to find her absolutely and completely annoying. I definitely felt both, hence the 7 review.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Really loud, really stupid, and...really stupid

[4/10 · 16 January 2023]

Finally watched it for "free" on Prime Video. I mean we deserve this movie. It made a billion dollars, no duh they keep pumping them out. Read the reviews first and stop paying to watch garbage in the cinema or renting at full price on demand if you want to be treated with respect.

Pros: The movie has the usual polish and directing flair, some actually fun action sequences, and if you have surround sound it sounds awesome. The actors were trying.

Cons: pretty much everything else. The story/script is hot garbage. It's actually borderline offensive how bad the dialogue is and the situations are. Just the concept itself is absurd. I found myself saying...What!? Why!? How!? So many times I lost track.

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: The Outside (2022) Season 1, Episode 4

GOOBLE GOBBLE, GOOBLE GOBBLE, ONE OF US

[9/10 · 12 November 2022]

The best of the first 4 episodes in my opinion, but I understand how it can be divisive. It has a slow build up, and the last few minutes are a bit strange. It's more Xfiles with it's plot vs horror I would say, so temper that expectation. Cautionary tale on social and self acceptance. Acting in my opinion was superb, she really sucks you in and you buy in to her character. Direction was phenominal, and the rawness of the closeup shots added to the atmosphere. A few editing moments seemed off, not enough to spoil it but I was taken out of it for a split second or two. Highly recommended if you are looking for a Black Mirror mixed with Fargo kinda vibe.

Samaritan (I) (2022)

Decent B Movie Action Flick

[7/10 · 30 August 2022]

I was expecting very low to begin with so this actually surprised me with how not total garbage it was.

The good: This movie is actually competently directed and edited. The script isn't good by any means but it actually flows consistently. The B action scenes are few and far between but they are still somewhat fun and entertaining. Sly being Sly gives automatic bonus points, just being in the shot makes it watchable. 75% of kid actors make me cringe and this kid actually didn't, he put forward a concerted effort. The villians are generic but get a bump from the lead who is a notable actor.

The Bad: It's a B movie so expect some cheesy dialogue, some moments of not great performances, tacky special effects, flashbacks...oh boy flashbacks. The story is basically a ripoff of several far better films mashed together with a fraction of the budget. Plot holes, moments of absolute stupidity/ why did they do that moments. The mom annoyed the hell out of me.

At the end of the day this movie was a masterpiece compared to a film like Morbius, and that came out in theaters people! If your into this kind of generic actioner it's absolutely worth your time if you have a Prime subscription. If you know what you are getting into it's a perfectly forgettable movie to watch if you have nothing to do.

Morbius (2022)

As bad as they say

[3/10 · 11 August 2022]

It honestly feels like a little boy, many years ago, watched the Razzie awards and said to himself. I, one day, will win myself several of those. The rest is history.

Prey (I) (2022)

I Prey For Another

[10/10 · 8 August 2022]

Wow, honestly this movie came out of nowhere. 0 expectations considering it was dropping on Hulu. Ok Hulu, I see you, trying to compete with HBO Max. Compared to all the other dredge prior, this is a &*^%*&% masterpiece. Home run derby. Some of the CGI work was exhilaratingly impressive, but some moments felt cheapened by it, my only main gripe. If they took those moments out and did more practical 80's effect work, this could have been legendary. Great cast, solid work all around. Next level direction...god I hope Trachtenberg gets to keep running with this franchise. The score was tense. If this doesn't launch Amber Midthunder into the stratosphere, I'm lost. Must watch it if you like Sci-Fi, thriller, horror, or action.

Predator - 10/10 Prey - 9/9 Predator II - 7.5/10 Predators - 7/10 AVP - 5 Aliens Vs. Predator Requiem - 3 The Predator - Unwatchable.

Uncharted (2022)

Absolute Cash Grab

[4/10 · 8 May 2022]

If you never played the games and you have the IQ of Homer Simpson (half the population) you will probably be entertained. This movie is an abomination to the source material and the spirit of the games. Sony has proven that they don't understand filmmaking in the slightest.

Human Resources (2022–2023)

Funny and creative, but very TV MA

[8/10 · 21 March 2022]

I never watched Big Mouth so I have nothing to compare this to, but this is a funny and actually somewhat deep show on some levels. If you are a person who doesn't like crude humor (Very sexual in nature) this is NOT for you, and you shouldn't watch it and whine about it. STAY AWAY, you have been warned. I had fun with it.

DMZ (2022)

An attempt was made

[5/10 · 20 March 2022]

The characters are so cringeworthy with their decisions and choices and just general demeanor. The story crawls at a snails pace and is filled with SO MUCH melodrama. Most of it isn't earned or built up to begin with to leave any impact. The editing and direction makes me want to vomit, there are so many cuts in a scene...cut to face, cut to other face, cut to handshake, cut to face again, cut to other face in like 10 seconds...It's extremely annoying. There is one big action scene in the 3rd episode that could have actually been cool, all the elements were there to make it cool, but you definitely could tell the person never shot action before and it was LAME. I'm being generous with a 5 because the actors all do fine work and are really giving it a 100% effort, the set pieces and world building were pretty cool as well. Disappointing.

Our Flag Means Death (2022–2023)

Very silly, but I heart that

[8/10 · 13 March 2022]

This basically adds the character murray from flight of the concords, into an R rated pirates of the carribean themed generic comedy, with oddball side characters. If you are into that sort of thing you will have a great time, I know I did.

Army of Thieves (2021)

Typical heist film but still entertaining

[7/10 · 30 December 2021]

This is a better acted, and more competently made film than Army of the Dead. The main character is superb and they do something Army of the dead doesn't do, character development. It suffers from the heist cliches we have seen a million times, which unfortunately make it an average film. Heist films have been done so many times that it will take something really special to ever get it above a 7. Defintely worth a lazy afternoon watch if you have nothing on your list.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

The Pretentious Reflections

[6/10 · 23 December 2021]

This movie looks polished, the actors (Original cast at least) are in top form. This movie is just so up it's own butt with it's story telling. It's sad, they are obviously trying hard...too hard... to please everyone, which in effect creates mediocrity. Too many member berry throwback moments, but not the worst I've seen. I'm going to assume a big part of the whole, free movie releases on hbomax thing, has to do with all the blatant advertising moments sprinkled in as of late.

Action scenes are pretty cool and pretty well staged. It's a fun throwaway movie for sure, better than 3, but another major missed opportunity for a beloved franchise.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)

Bland, mediocre, and a disgrace to the source material

[6/10 · 3 October 2021]

A 6 is fair, Tom Hardy is awesome as always. The last action sequence and a handful of the other venom scenes are fun and exciting. If you are looking for a mind numbing "in the background" movie this is good enough to entertain. The script and general story are extremely mediocre, bland, and the first 2 acts are downright boring. It's overly silly to a point that its not actually funny, its forced. Love Woody Harrelson but he was bad casting. This should have been an R film for the fans, not a cash grab to sell Bravia TVs and action figures. Disappointing.

Stowaway (I) (2021)

Snoreaway

[5/10 · 22 June 2021]

The actors are great, visuals are great but nothing extremely taxing is in display. The story is just so borrrring, it's trying to be Ad Astra minus anything profound to say or any deep meaningful dialogue. Who was sitting there thinking...hmmm all these movies that were already made before, how do I do that but make it 80% less interesting.

Bo Burnham: Inside (2021 TV Special)

Bizarre, creative, and a flat out masterpiece

[10/10 · 13 June 2021]

I honestly didn't know anything about him or his comedy before watching this, I know, I must have been living under a rock. Living in the shadow of the creativity, and execution, on display of his vision here is going to be challenging. You can tell he really put in the work and cared about the curation of what he was trying to create. A must see mocumentary/comedy special of sorts, I smell an award on the horizon.

Mare of Easttown (2021)

Kate is Great

[9/10 · 12 June 2021]

Very well done. You might have a feeling with regards to the story being nothing new, but the execution makes it stand out of a crowd. Fantastic directing and acting across the board, Crushing emotional moments. If you enjoy more refined drama, this is for you. Can be a bit slow for the fast and the furious crowd.

Jupiter's Legacy (2021)

Jupiter's Lethargy

[6/10 · 17 May 2021]

I finally woke up from the coma this show put me in to write this review. This show is absurdly boring. The script feels very CW but less charming and way less action. The daughter's character is hella annoying.

ZeroZeroZero (2019–2020)

Impressive and Haunting

[10/10 · 16 May 2021]

This show is superb. The acting, direction and overall story arch are all convincing and downright chilling. If this doesn't win all the awards then it's just obvious how the award system is rigged and irrelevant beyond belief. There is nothing I can say that the other positive reviews haven't said already. Can't wait for season 2.

Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)

Better than the theatrical version for sure.

[9/10 · 22 March 2021]

Really this is a solid 8/10, there are definitely plot holes, cheese ball moments that could have been taken out, a blaring ominous church chorus theme that blasts way too many times, some spotty special effects at moments. I'm adding a bonus point for just how impressive it is that this even got made to begin with, HBO your value and gigantic balls will take my money forever if you keep this up. A 4 hour movie would not have worked in the theater but perfect for a binge at home. The character development, improved character models, added action sequences and just overall better editing make this a complete film. There were moments I actually felt emotions, versus just another loud blow up movie with one liners like the theatrical cut. Snyder is a legend.