Change Your Image
lordcorneliusplum
Reviews
The Force on Thunder Mountain (1978)
strangely beautiful
If you are watching this and are offended by its lack of budget, "bad" acting, narrative jumps, bad dialogue or crazy logic, you should perhaps turn it off and go and watch a Hollywood blockbuster or trendy indie film instead. For the rest of us, there are some rare pleasures to be found here
Like watching a waking dream, this film wanders through its 90 minutes in the manner a somnambulist. Hazy, aged stock footage of cute animals punctuate the grainy bucolia as the characters ascend the titular mountain to find , well, a kind of mashed-up hallucination of Obi-Wan Kenobi meets CE3K. Its like Rene Daumal or Jodorowsky for the Star Wars generation.
It is, indeed, incredibly slow, but strangely beautiful and restful, and about as far away from any kind of modern film making as its possible to get. Modern attention spans cannot cope with films like this - they must seem like something from the ancient past, and i suspect thats why i enjoyed it so much.
The acting was fine, really, when you take into account that it was a low budget b movie with actors that appeared in nothing else other than this.
Hauntological, surreal, mystical and nostalgic - worth looking at if you can wrench your aesthetics away from the 21st century for an hour and a half.
The Way (2024)
Welcome to our nightmare
As someone who watches virtually no modern TV - i don't even own a TV set connected to anything other than a DVD player - i have no idea if this is typical of contemporary TV drama, but i doubt if it is, judging by the other reviews here. But as this was said to be strange and was compared to beloved old TV like Threads or Pendas Fen, i thought id give it a go.
Also, the bad reviews on here and in the press intrigued me - usually when something is hated so much, especially by certain people (tabloid journalists), there is something right about it. Art is supposed to provoke, not comfort.
And this really is art, not just entertainment, for all its flaws. It has a point to make. Could it be that all the right wing hate directed at this is because, secretly, deep down inside, like the playground bullies they are, they know that they have messed up our society on such a primal level that eventually something is going to break. And this silly but clever piece of TV is reminding them of that. Yes, its coming. It will take more than two weeks and probably wont involve talking teddy bears and it will be far more unpleasant than a canal holiday, but something is going to give.
Another reason people have had problems with this is because of its magical realism and its hallucinatory quality, plus its reference to myth (its no accident that one of the major characters is named Owen and ends up bearing the sword. Owain Glyndwr. Need i say more?). Mainstream audiences always struggle with non linear narratives. Can't really blame them, being raised on a pablum of soap operas and police procedural. And as for the tabloid critics - "right wing" and "culture" don't usually hang out together, do they ?
For the rest of us, and i don't mean just lefties or liberals, but just anyone who has a bit of imagination and sensitivity can see that this is a brave attempt to make something different that actually resonates within our culture rather than distracts from it. Theres lots wrong with it - it would have worked better as a longer series, it could lose some of the touchy feely emotional rubbish, and the supposedly medieval sword looked like it was a plastic toy bought from an English Heritage gift shop and sprayed silver.
And on the subject of England - this is certainly not anti-English as some reviewers state (oh, that bruised post Brexit nationality). The main bad guy is Welsh. The priest in Hay-on-Wye and the middle class relative are both English and both help the fugitives. If you are seeing this through nationalistic spectacles, you're missing the point.
I get the feeling that in a few decades or so this series will look quaint and tame compared to whats happening in the real world. The slow breakdown of a civilization will not be televised.
Flux Gourmet (2022)
Salo meets Celebrity Bake-Off
Yes, its strange. No, its not a horror comedy, at least not the sort most people mean when they use that term. It is funny, though, and pretty horrific. A brilliant and witty send up of avant-garde performance art, 70s Euro art films, the music business, 80s fashionistas and food snobbery.
It reminded me of Bunuel as it skewers and roasts bourgeois "culture" and (f)art. I've enjoyed all of Strickland's films that ive seen, and they all have humor in them, but this is easily the funniest.
Many reviewers on here seem to hate this because it makes no logical sense, doesn't explain things in wordy exposition and is improbable. I sometimes wonder just what it is people expect from cinema, and from films like this. Pretentious ? Sure it is, what creative endeavor worth your time isn't ? Do people really want their culture served up to them in easily digested pre-chewed lumps? Oh, i guess they do. Flux Gourmet, indeed.
Far from the Apple Tree (2019)
Beautiful Strange
Beautiful, strange horror film concerning identity, art, mother-daughter relationships, psychedelia, old houses, video tape, C86 indie music and childhood trauma. So a teenage slasher splatterfest this ain't.
Nor is it a conventional spooky thriller - its arty and blurry and shaky and distorted, and leaves things for the viewer to work out for themselves. If you are the kind of person who is sick of all these arty horrors coming out at the moment - you know, Ben Wheatley films, Berberian Sound Studio, Mandy - well - youre gonna hate this. Best stick to those old Freddie and Jason films.
If, on the other hand, you like Suspiria, Repulsion , Performance, The Tenant, Jose Larraz, strange psychological horror and girls in 80s style hooped t shirts, then this is a good way of spending an evening
Great dreamy score by Rose Mcdowell, ex Strawberry Switchblade/ Sorrow, which really gives this a lot of class.
Armageddon Gospels (2019)
Blakean.
Its easy to understand why a lot of people wont like this film - its a long way from mainstream Hollywood product, or even independant underground cinema. Its more like a film from the sixties or seventies, the old idea of the Head Movie. It reminded me slightly of the Incredible String Band film Be Glad For The Song Has No Ending. Like that film, its theatrical and amateurish, but that just gives it a homemade charm. Its also deeply, deeply pretentious, but what art of value isn't ? Better that than trying to be all things to all people just to chase the dollars.
The earnestness of the film really impressed me, it felt like someone was desperately trying to communicate his or her thoughts and feelings rather than just regurgitating ideas and memes from other films. Its also quite beautiful, rich in greens and greys and browns and blues, a reflection of the summer when this was shot. The acting is fine, a bit theatrical, and the cast are young, which probably puts some viewers off, but made me think of mummers plays and radical theatre, which worked well with the aesthetic of the film.
This isnt really a folk horror film, or even a horror film at all. If you need to put it with company, its like the little cousin of Jodorowsky or Derek Jarman rather than the Wicker Man. Its film as folklore, an evocation of myth, rather than a horror film that uses those tropes as subject matter.
A knowledge of myth and folklore will help when watching this - without it, you're going to be lost. Thats your problem, however, not a problem with the film.
It could have used a bit more visual flamboyance - costumes and camera angles and such - but its obviously a very low budget production, so thats easy to forgive.
This film succeeds because of its ambition, because it dares to do something unique, because its full of imagination, because its full of personality and individualism, and because its an attempt to work a magick ritual as film. Oh, and just for the record - i have no connection with whoever made this film, im just someone who has an open mind and enough imagination to enjoy being challenged by culture rather than stupefied by it.
Undergods (2020)
Vacuous mess.
Really, this is just a few good ideas and nice scenery, compromised by its utter pointlessness and inability to actually pay off. Its like several random episodes of Black Mirror with the ends cut off all stitched together in a "will this do" manner. All the stories cry out for a twist or a reveal but they all just end with "then he kills them".
Aesthetically, i cant see why a modern, dystopian Britain should be juxtaposed with a post apocalyptic, post Soviet Eastern Europe. It would have worked much better if it was the ruins of, say, Birmingham, populated with cannibals and mutants than the cliched and borderline racist depictions of Eastern Europe. (Are those cities REALLY so oppressive ? I doubt it - or at least no more than Birmingham (sorry Brum). Why perpetuate Neo-liberal myths when the rest of your film is a Neo-liberal nightmare ?
Its a shame - theres obviously talent at work here, and a visionary sensibility. Theres also two possibly good films here mashed up together into an unappealing, half baked mess.
The Bible in the Beginning... (1966)
Fun
This was fun. I like fantasy films. Better than anything Darren Aronovsky would do. Better than Harry Potter, but not as believable. Not as nuanced and sophisticated as Star Wars, but the big sky daddy was funnier than the force. Apparently its based on a book thats popular in America that has been linked to all manner of violent atrocities, a bit like American Psycho.
In Fabric (2018)
MOMMY
Mommy, Mommy, I don't like it - it doesn't make any sense ! Its not got a plot like really good films like Mortal Kombat or the Avengers ! It looks strange, like those old films old people used to watch before they made good films, and I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, so it must be rubbish. The people have funny accents like they come from Europe or somewhere not in America - as if any other country makes films! I like good horror films with lots of jumps and chasing teenagers and ghosts, but this doesn't have any. Theres some sex stuff in it with hairs and things which is just GROSS, i can't think why they want to be disturbing like that.
All the good reviews on here are fake, because no one likes films they actually have to think about, so they must all be lying relatives of the director. And anyway, what is an Argento anyway? Bunuel? Robert Aickman ? Thomas Ligotti ? Cocteau ?Just what do they mean by oneiric ?
Ive wasted two hours of my time fast forwarding through this in ten minutes and im so angry i had to write this review. How dare someone make a film i don't like.
Mommy, whats a pseudo- intellectual ?
Retribution (1987)
NEON NIGHTMARE
I think i'd like to live in this world - all low rent film noir, new wave neon, coloured gels where your best friends are bikers and hookers and its full of Rastafarian mystics and cliched cops in shiny suits and dogs in sunglasses.
Occult Angel (2018)
Actually pretty good
I enjoyed this Poundshop Wicker Man immensely - like a folk horror video diary crossed with a holiday guide. Pretty well put together, actually scary in parts, good use of cheap special effects and an interesting story. Don't expect jumps every five minutes or loads of screaming, its more like a Edwardian ghost story updated to the age of mobile phones. Probably not recommended for fans of mainstream cinema or big budget horror, but for someone with the patience to watch slow moving films and enough imagination to allow the filmmakers to have their metaphor it has hidden pleasures.
The Void (2016)
Not for those concerned with plot
This is a Horror B-movie. Most critiques of this film concern its lack of plot, character development, easy to follow backstory, "story arc", explanatory dialogue and witty script.
This is a Horror B-movie, in all its surrealistic glory. Sure, things aren't explained patiently to the audience like a gore splattered kindergarten teacher, there is no emotional ride, the characters are wooden (although the acting is fine) and the special effects are of the latex and syrup variety. These are pluses.
This is a Horror B-movie. it has mad doctors, monsters, medical experiments gone wrong, cultists, Lovecraftian dimensional portals, mutated babies, gore, eyeball violence, shotgun vs Fulci-esque zombies (sort of), trippy bits and ends with a giant pyramid. And you are bothered that the relationship between the cop and his wife isn't developed enough ?
This is a Horror B-movie. its a homage (french for rip-off) to lots of classic horror - Carpenter, especially, but also Stuart Gordon, Fulci, Phantasm, Hellraiser, ect ect. Originality can be so overrated. Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards.
The Jar (1984)
pretty cool really
If this was in black and white and made 20 years earlier it would perhaps be seen to approach the cult genius of films like Carnival of Souls or Daughter of Horror.
The bad acting and general amateurism seem to add to the nightmare quality of the film (and the washed out VHS quality print i saw helped too).
I know I'm perverse, but i enjoy these sort of outsider creations way more than the latest blockbuster - its almost like you have to decide to allow them to be what they are, rather than expecting them to conform to more conventional cinematic standards.
The Hallow (2015)
why bother?
Although much better than the similar Irish film From the Dark, this is still an utter waste of time.
I'm not bothered by the low budget (to be fair, it doesn't show) or the truly awful song over the end credits, or the annoying family , or the total lack of a single original idea in the entire film.
My problem is that the film has a total lack of imagination in every aspect of its construction. Its like the film makers cynically stuck together random clichés from much better films in a sort of " will this do?" fashion. Everything happens exactly as you think it will - torch and camera batteries run out at the right time, generators start just as you expect them to, eyes get stabbed through keyholes, babies go missing,dogs get killed, etc etc ad naseum. The cinematography was bland, lacking in poetry or atmosphere, and the endless shaky camera/running through the woods was simply annoying. Truly one of the most tedious films I've sat through in recent years.
How hard is it to think of a few new ideas? There are some great horror films waiting to be made about the faerie tradition - just read some Arthur Machen -there are great horror films made and to be made about scary woods and isolated houses. All it will take is for someone to take their head out of their pocketbook and start putting creativity over tried and tested formula
It Follows (2014)
Dreamlike and subtle
This is a beautifully composed film with a truly unnerving atmosphere. If you are looking for realism, character development, logic, lots of plot exposition or other typical mainstream cinematic devices i suggest you go elsewhere. What you get is a strange languid nightmare of late adolescence with an unexplained ending.
There's no real gore, no sex except for whats necessary to the story, very few jumps or scares. A million miles away from a typical teen horror. What it has is atmosphere - a feeling of creeping dread and surreal tension.
This is not the kind of film you can just sit in front of - it requires some investment from the viewer.You need to be willing to lose yourself in its threatening suburbia.