victorherm54 Reviews

Air (I) (2023)

7.5 rating is ludicrous

[4/10 · 5 August 2023]

I've been using IMDB for about 20 years, but I hardly ever write reviews for films. I had to on this one, though, after seeing so many glowing reviews from people giving it 9s and 10s (are you kidding me?) as well as it having a 7.5 average rating on here, which is quite high for IMDB movies.

First off, the movie is by no means GOOD. I'm not saying it is BAD, but there just isn't anything GOOD that gets pulled off during its overly long runtime. For example, in a pivotal scene where the Matt Damon character gives a speech during a meeting, it's supposed to be a great inspirational scene and great speech...BUT IT'S NOT. It's just not. That's what I'm talking about, that nothing in the movie ever really stands out or approaches greatness - to borrow a basketball analogy, it's like watching an NBA team in pregame warmups shooting free throws and midrange jump shots. You'd be like "Yeah, that's a nice shot, but everyone can make that, I'm not seeing anything out of these paid professionals that would qualify as world class or as something I wouldn't be able to do."

Not to mention the questionable historical accuracy of the film, especially when it pertains to Nike's finances at the time and also the role M. Jordan's mother played during this whole recruitment.

Glass Onion (2022)

Rian Johnson is not good

[5/10 · 29 December 2022]

I mean, I guess LOOPER was pretty good. Other than that, we have his Star Wars 8 movie which needs no mentioning, the original Knives Out, and this. As far as the original Knives Out, how that mediocre whodunit got the praise it got (including an Oscar win I think?) was beyond me. For pete's sake, that movie featured a ridiculous contrivance where one of the characters literally has to vomit every time she tells a lie -wut??? Kind of a useful plot device to implement in a whodunit if the writer is feeling lazy.

As for this Glass Onion movie, it is just so shallow, with silly characters, silly murder mystery, etc. It pales in comparison to other whodunit murder mysteries of the past like Death On The Nile or Murder On The Orient Express, which weren't even THAT great, but compared to Glass Onion they are excellent and intriguing. You're better off using these 2 hours to play a spirited game of Clue.

Bardo: False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths (2022)

Artsy garbage

[4/10 · 16 November 2022]

Been rating movies on IMDB for years, but hardly ever sit down to contribute a review. Well, I had to for this one. I've been a fan of Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu ever since I saw his debut film AMORES PERROS in Mexico City, and upon leaving the theater, Alejandro was waiting there outside greeting people and asking us what we thought. We all congratulated him for such a great work. For me it was the type of Mexican movie I'd been waiting my whole life to see. Fast forward several years and other movies like 21 Grams, Babel, Revenant, Birdman, I like them all, to varying degrees.

Unfortunately, for this BARDO one he keeps building on that "artsiness" that started to rear its head in Birdman, but here he cranks up the artsy to 11. This reminds me of another much hyped artsy movie by a Mexican director: Roma. If you liked that tripe, then you might like this one too. For me, it felt much too artsy and European quirky, with characters I really didn't care much for, some artsy hallucination sequences, and it even throws in some very HAMFISTED hacky stuff "boo hooo Brown people are discriminated against by elitist Mexicans, so much classism there is" and also "boo hooo Mexicans are discriminated against in the USA, often times by other people of Mexican descent". They even throw in some shots at Hernan Cortes the colonizer, ffs. It was hamfisted stuff that is quite frankly beneath a director of Gonzalez's track record.

Give me more AMORES PERROS and less of this artsy quirky "introspective" identity crisis stuff that is way too long (2:30) and that only stuffy nerds from the New Yorker consider brilliant and a masterpiece.

What Did Jack Do? (2017)

The emperor has no clothes

[2/10 · 25 January 2020]

Lynch once again proving what a hack he is. Either that or he is just performing some kind of trollish social experiment where he sees how low he can set the bar while still having a bunch of lemmings sing his praises about what a brilliant genius he is.

Chicuarotes (2019)

Terrible and dumb characters. Pésimos personajes.

[4/10 · 31 August 2019]

I was hoping for something along the lines of Amores Perros but this fell woefully short. The movie's main flaw is that the characters are painfully stupid and/or unlikeable. The main character is a scumbag, unlike Gael Garcia's character in Amores Perros who was likeable. The only redeeming main character is the young girl, who shouldve been the main character around whom the movie centered.

Dancer in the Dark (2000)

Lars von Trier absolutely sucks

[3/10 · 19 August 2019]

Good lord this was awful -People actually enjoy this?! And it was 2:15 long for heaven's sake.

Secret Obsession (2019)

Worst movie Ive seen in years

[3/10 · 19 July 2019]

Absolutely awful to the point of unintentional comedy. Did the bad guy seriously bury a body about 3 inches deep and right in front of his house? LOLOLOLOL Did his villainous plan really revolve around him going to the hospital that very night and the girl having amnesia so she wouldnt identify him? The protagonist girl also has got to be the biggest idiot around. I give it 3 stars just because the production quality is good and Ive liked Dennis Haysbert ever since MAJOR LEAGUE.

Belzebuth (2017)

Mediocre with a terrible & unlikeable "leading man"

[5/10 · 3 February 2019]

Seriously, how did that guy land the lead role? Im talking about the Ritter guy -who thought it would be a good idea to make your main character fat, old, ugly, stubborn, dumb, unlikeable, and totally incompetent at his job?

The Inmate (2018– )

Ridiculous but saved by funny Mexican dialogue

[6/10 · 22 December 2018]

The show is ridiculous right from the start, given that Lazaro would even agree to undertake such a mission for...a judge? that he is completeley loyal to and for whose daughter he would risk his life? Why? The acting by some, like the Nazis, and the judge's bodyguard Jack, and the judge's daughter, is often atrocious. However, the show does have some hilarious dialogue that is very Mexican-slang centered, words like "puñetas" get thrown around and there are funny insults and one-liners thrown around mainly by Tavares and by Peniche the prison director, those characters are just...funny. Roxana the sexy assistant and Marcial the prison guard also have their moments -all in all the show has this underlying comedic element that just works in a weird way. The main actor who plays Lazaro/Dante holds his own in an understated way, and Santito does too but he can be too much and you grow tired of his antics. The depictions of the prison living conditions and the MS type gang are interesting although not sure how accurate.

Shottas (2002)

Possibly the WORST movie I've ever seen

[1/10 · 11 August 2008]

This could very well be the worst movie I've ever seen. Everything about it just screams AMATEURS. Seriously, I'm not kidding when I say that me and my friends could probably get together over the course of a couple of weekends and make a better, more intelligent movie than this.

The characters are completely flat, and if they weren't flat (which they are), I still don't think the "actors" (like Bob Marley's son or Wyclef Jean) would have the acting chops to portray them as anything interesting.

The movie is filled with horrendous inconsistencies. Bob Marley's son (Biggs) will be speaking American English and then suddenly he'll be speaking Jamaican English and go back and forth, like he totally forgot he was supposed to be in character. There's a montage scene early on where they show the guys taking over territory in Miami, and one of the scenes shows Biggs and Wayne getting pulled over and arrested, but the movie just hums along like that never happened (What the hell??). There's a scene at the end where "Mad Max" shoots the final intruder who's trying to kill Biggs, and you see the guy getting shot at least twice, including one in the chest. But 2 seconds later, you see the guy get up and run away and the gunshot wound to the chest has magically disappeared. hahahahahah It would be funny if it weren't so freaking pathetic. The head bodyguard for Bruck Shot Teddy who goes to Biggs's house at the end carries a shotgun that fires like a BB gun, and as soon as he kills Biggs's girl (who proceeds to spit watered-down ketchup out of her mouth as a sign that she's dead), he leaves. I guess he forgot he was supposed to kill Biggs. Or maybe he realized that his BB-gun-pellet-shooting shotgun was very weak so he decided to bolt.

I could go on and on. The movie is flat out awful. It makes attempts at the end to try to create some kind of emotional story of two life long brothers and their journey, but it fails miserably and is just laughable in its attempt. This is a movie made and written by a bunch of AMATEURS.

Do yourself a favor and avoid this movie, unless you appreciate some good old fashioned unintentional comedy and you're looking for a good laugh, then I might recommend it. Maybe.